17th of Sivan

Still was feeling awful, so I slept a little longer than I wanted. I also went to bed later than usual. That probably added to it. 

Went to the local trans meeting last night. It was supposed to be a potluck, but Dad and I were the only ones who brought something. We brought fried chicken. The chicken wasn't touched much, either. Normally, for potlucks we also watch a movie, but we hadn't talked about it beforehand. Besides having the chicken there, it seemed like a regular meeting. 

Actually had quite a good number of people this time. There were 4 new people, and all but one were allies. There was a couple that essentially just wanted to learn more about what it's like to be trans, how to be as respectful as they can be, more about gender, etc. It was interesting to hear about allies who actually were curious and willing to find out how to better themselves. One new person was genderfluid, and the other ally was their mom. It was cool to see another enby. 

We got into a discussion of the spectrum of gender. Some people use the one line male to female spectrum to explain it. It's one of the worst ones, because gender is much more complex than that. The one we went over is like an x/y axis graph. It's much better, but still has issues. Another one I've seen is a color wheel that seems to come close to being more 3D. It's better, but not the best. There was a comic strip I saw recently of an enby explaining how many of these models are problematic. They've never seen a 'perfect' one. They did come up with their own at the end. 

They explained that the gender spectrum is more of a universe. Each planet in it may have parts that align with others, but there are many that are separated entirely. They may have added 'properties' like rings. It was a really cool way of thinking about it. Much better, to me. The person behind the comic was specifically agender, like me. We're outliers. Sure, some lean slightly towards masculine or feminine (often they'll feel 'off-center' to either one), but many of us don't. Where do we fit in those male/female models? We're not neutral. That's different. (That'd be neutrois.) So, I guess agender would have its own planet. Maybe part of it would touch masc/fem ones. Or, have rings that are off-center that represent them. Maybe the rings connect to those others. It could be interpreted in many ways. It sounds more philosophical and interesting this way. At least, it breaks the binary box people are stuck in. 

There was also talk about pronouns. Right now, I'm going by she/her or they/them. However, I'm unsure if they really fit me. I say she/her since it'd be easier for others, but that seems like I'm just trying to make others feel more 'comfortable' around me. Not really about myself. They/them seems more accurate, but I've been mulling it over and it doesn't feel quite right. I haven't looked at other pronouns. Probably because I'm too used to the others, and don't want to be thought of as a joke or something. Those who do use them are not jokes, but society isn't kind about it. 

I also don't like other gendered language when referring to me. Sir, ma'am, lady, guy (although I'm guilty of using it as neutral myself, I'm noticing it really isn't), woman, man, etc. all get on my nerves now when directed at myself. It would be somewhat like a cis man being referred to as ma'am or lady. They wouldn't stand for it. 

The husband of the ally couple suggested I could be called 'dude'. Nope. While it is considered neutral, it isn't. I'm a person, human, I've seen folkperson or gentleperson, pal, friend, guest, etc. There are so many more that people could use. It allows people to be creative, too. When we left Shari's later, he said goodbye, ladies. Yeah, no. I'm not a lady. We discussed some of this not too long before that...I know it's new to him, but it still doesn't change the fact that it stung a bit. I didn't respond because we were already on the other side of the restaurant. Maybe the people that were still there corrected him, or maybe he realized later. 

At Shari's with the group, cbd oil and marijuana popped into the conversation. One person talked about how they've heard the oil can greatly help their arthritis, but there are downsides that keep them from trying it. Apparently, cbd oil is raved about in the IBD groups I'm in on fb. Seems like every few posts a someone brings it up. When I said IBD, the person with arthritis seemed to not know what that was. They know I have colitis. Maybe they forgot the umbrella term it's under. Understandable. When I said what it stood for and that I have colitis, the new guy's (one who called me a lady) face fell. His wife wasn't as fazed by it. I think I made him 'uncomfortable'. So, people can talk about arthritis without someone feeling like that, but colitis pops up and it's a different story? Arthritis is pretty bad, too. 

A lot of who I am and what I go through makes people feel uncomfortable. I don't have a gender, beyond the binary, I'm not allo (having sexual/romantic attraction), I'm Jewish and therefore not Christian (2 with that one), I have multiple mental illnesses, I'm not heteronormative/cisnormative/amatonormative, I have an 'invisible' (physical) illness, a digestive disease at that, just the word 'disease' can have a similar effect, the fact my parents were both women and had me 'naturally', etc. The more I think about it, the funnier it gets to me. Good, I'm glad my existence is 'uncomfortable' for others. It makes them think about other people and what they go through. Opens up a dialog, too.

I have to deal with having colitis every day whether I want to or not. It makes me 'uncomfortable' sometimes, too. I still occasionally feel this odd thing where it's happening to someone else, and I'm feeling it and watching it all play out. It's not really happening to me. The symptoms are just interesting observations of someone else going through it. That's why I sometimes just list symptoms on here when I give an update. I had that feeling a lot for a while after I was diagnosed. I think I'm feeling it lately, again. It's not a good thing. Makes me feel less likely to tell my primary and gastro about stuff. Add in that I especially don't trust my primary and feel my gastro can't do much (she's told me that she only deals with the simple cases)...it's not a good combo.

I ordered meds about a week ago. Finally got them. However, I only got one of them. I was supposed to get 2. Both are super important. One keeps me relatively mentally 'well', and the other helps keep my colitis at bay. Even when I'm flaring, it's supposed to make that flare more manageable than if I hadn't had anything. So, they keep me going mentally and physically. The one for colitis is the one I didn't get. I'll try calling tomorrow. I'm really low, and I'll most likely have to go to a pharmacy to get it, instead of having it mailed. Oh joy. Maybe it'll come in the mail tomorrow? It's just a little late? I hope. 

Today I came up with 3 possible covers for the cookbook. (Just the art, not text and such.) The best candidate is the simplest. There's a black background with a Passover popover towards the bottom. It looks like it's popping out. I accidentally made the popover taller and a little thinner. It looks more like a crown. It seems to fit the 'treasure' theme in the name. The only thing I don't like about it is part of that popover looks like it has slime or something. It's small...Another possibility is one with Passover granola with no 'empty' spaces. The last one is my bathroom curtain, which adds an interesting texture to it. I'll choose one next time and add text. 

For German, I finished V. Cond. 2. It was really long. I think I missed about 2 or 3 again. Also, finished the Philosophy one. It only had 2 parts. It was really easy, too. Many of the new words were the same as their English translations. Just said a little differently. True is wahr (vahr), and reality is werklichleich (verk-leech[gutteral ch]-laich[also gutteral ch]). Those were pretty much the actual only new words. Reality is a bit difficult to say. I was already familiar with the ch sound, thanks to Hebrew and a little Yiddish. Plus, my middle name starts with that. What makes it hard for me is that long combo said altogether. It's choppy for me. I guess reality really can be difficult. Next will be Present 4. After that, it'll be fantasy. I'm more interested in the fantasy one.

Despite feeling sick, I finished dusting my room today. Yay! I couldn't stop coughing while I did it, though. Found a glass filled with interesting coins. Coins like embossed pennies from San Diego, Ellis Island, and the Empire State Building. There were some Canadian ones, as well. I took everything but my eye mask off the top of the short bookcase near my bed. It looks really bare now, but nice. 

Went to the Paella Bar for dinner. It was to celebrate the beginning of Dad's birth month. I got coca bread, beef empanadas, and potato and artichoke tortillas. Had a little bit of the smoked paprika almonds she ordered, too. I decided to try a dessert from there for the first time. Got their brioche and apricot bread pudding with rum and butter sauce. That was amazing! Everything else was great, too. 

16th of Sivan

I've felt even more sick today than yesterday. I'm starting to wonder if I have a new trigger food. I felt weird the next day when I had a hot dog a while ago, and I had a hot dog for dinner last night. I know that beef summer sausage is a trigger, but it would suck if it was all types of sausage. I love sausage. (Of course the ones without pork.) So, if it's true, I'll have to eliminate another thing I love...It was hard enough with spicy food. Or, it could have been the unusually sour grapes we got recently. I've been eating those as part of my evening snack. (Last meal of the day.) That might be a bigger possibility. Or, maybe it's not food related. 

Either way, today I've felt really sluggish, warm (not quite fever territory), more drained than usual, sleepy (despite sleeping in), more nauseous than usual, like something is trapped in my chest, abdomen is full (not really bloated, just a very full feeling all over), and an odd achey feeling all over my abdomen as well. Maybe I'm just sick today, and it was starting yesterday. 

Since I slept in, I didn't get to a lot of things. Went through pics relating to what I've made from the cookbook. I've apparently only made Passover stuff from it. There were a couple pics I found that weren't related to the cookbook, but might look good if the others don't work out. I might use the almond and cream torte, popovers, granola, something I got at a cafe, or of my shower curtain. The torte looks somewhat blurry, but I'll see what I can do with it. It looks nice and fancy other than that. 2 of the popover pics have interesting different perspectives. The granola one I found looks good, too. The cafe one was one of my better food pics. It would look interesting on a cookbook. The curtains I thought would be a good background thing if the others don't work out. It seems to go with the 'treasure' theme to me, too. Except for the torte, everything was taken with my phone. My phone takes much better pics than the camera from before. I've also had a bit more practice with it. Next time, I'll go through these pics and see what works best for the cover. I can't tell just from looking at them, at the moment, which one's best. 

Managed to get most of the miscellaneous cleaning done. Didn't get to dusting my room. Tried to groom Rosie, but she walked away after just a couple swipes with the mitt. She later begged me for it again, but I refused. 

Watched Saiki Kusuo last night. This time they introduced another new character. He loves to talk, and does it fast. Apparently it's his shtick. The odd thing is the characters normally speak quickly, and they even mentioned that they've gotten complaints about that in the episode. However, this new character somehow talks even faster. So fast, I started to tune him out both with listening and reading the subs. I think that's the effect they wanted. He apparently is convinced that Kusuo is psychic. It's true, but he doesn't want people who aren't psychic to know. There are added layers of annoyance with that and him desparately searching for 'evidence'. Kusuo's brother actually did something nice and created a robotic cat. Their mother is allergic to cats but loves them, so he thought that would be a good solution. The only issue is it's in a different art style than the real ones are. It's a little creepy. One of the real cats was super creeped out about it and tried to be the better cat. He lost horribly. 

Black Clover had the captain, Yami, of the Black Bulls fight for the first time. He uses dark magic, and he was up against a powerful light magic user. Yami's not only powerful magic-wise, but also physically. He tried to teach Asta more of the physical stuff while he was fighting (things like relying on all your senses at once; not just hearing, sight, etc.), since Asta doesn't have magic. He wasn't sure Asta would actually get it, but he did. Apparently, Yami said he comes from the 'Land of the Rising Sun'. So he's a foreigner (in relation to where they are located in the story), and it sounded like he was referencing Japan. Not just with what he called it, but also what he used to wear and talks about things like Bushido. People seem to think of him as a wild card. He chooses the most eccentric candidates for his squad, too. People that would have been looked over. He often threatens to kill people (including fellow members of his own squad) if he doesn't like what he hears, or if they wake him up. 

For One Piece, they revealed why Sanji left. He was forced into an arranged marriage by Big Mom and his assassin father. He was given an invitation to it, Big Mom had something on him, and he couldn't refuse to go. So, he was captured. Luffy decided that they'd get him back by finding Big Mom herself. They met Cat Viper. He reminds me of Garfield, and I think he's supposed to be an homage to him. He's big, fat, orange and yellow, somewhat lazy, would prefer to play half the time, and loves lasagna. 

15th of Sivan

Something's been weird with the internet connection today (even with the pods' 'mesh'), so I'm using the blogging app this time. I think it might just be a regional thing, not just us. Haven't used it in a while. It's ok to use it occasionally. 

Finished formatting/creating the print version of the cookbook. I'm surprised I finished it already. Tomorrow, I'll start making the covers. It'll be interesting if I finish it then, too. It won't just be the art, but also figuring out the description. It might be something similar to the preface. Not exactly, but similar idea to it. There's not much left to do besides that and filling out the publishing forms. 

For German, I finished the Abs. Ob. 3 lesson, and started the V. Con. 2 lesson. Both these lessons are long. The first one had 8 parts to it, the 2nd one has 10. Most of the level 1 stuff has 5 or 6 parts. Usually, they increase the number with higher levels of the same lessons, so this is weird. I'm surprised I got as much done as I did. Only missed 3 questions. Not bad. After I finish the current one, the next lesson is on philosophy. That should be interesting. A little nervous they have a skull for its icon. I only have 8 lessons left of the course. However, for most of them, I've only completed the first level. There are 4 more to each lesson. So, even though I'm close to the 'end', it's not truly the end. Probably will take a long time to finish it all. I'm also curious about other languages like Chinese. Maybe even going back to Russian. Studied a little of that in college. 

Read more of the manga Alive. There were too many things going on at once. Everyone was fighting each other. At some point they seemed to be going crazy. An outsider tried to snap Taisuke out of it, but Hiro killed her in an instant. All that was left of her was part of her hair braid, and there was a crater where she had been standing. Taisuke screamed and seemed to 'break' at that moment. He triggered the 'heart' to come out of the lake. It's like a power orb. One of Katsumata's members immediately got it and absorbed it. She soon regretted it, because it didn't 'choose' her. It made her explode, and people could see her past in the black haze. She was annoying, but it was an awful way to go. The orb ended up choosing Hiro. When he absorbed it, there was a bright light, and that's where I stopped. It was also revealed that Katsumata's power is manipulation. He essentially has all his 'comrades' brainwashed. They'll do anything he says. He's annoying in different ways. Taisuke seems to have powered up, too. It seems like it's close to the end, yet there's a lot more chapters to this manga. I'm not even halfway through. 

I normally feel pretty nauseous, but today has seemed especially bad. It was made worse when I heard Tasha throwing up on the banister. Then, even more so when I saw it and had to clean it up. I felt like running to the toilet several times as I cleaned it off. Often when she throws up it's either clear or a hairball. That's usually not bad to deal with. This time was worse. There was actually food and other stuff, and was a lot. It stunk more that way, too. It must have felt awful, and I do hope she feels better now. Cleaning it up tired me out for a while. I didn't need that drama. 

When it was time to groom Rosie, she was in the litter box, so I waited. Like usual, she scratched the bookcase and wall near it after she was done. I stopped her, and she ran out. Then, ran back in and just scratched some more. After stopping her a few times, all she wanted to do was clean herself. So, I told her I wouldn't be using the mitt today. A little while later she begged me to use the mitt. I couldn't say no after a few minutes of her doing that...I give in too easily with her.

In addition to the usual cleaning, I finished dusting my desk. My computer was packed with dust. I hadn't seriously dusted it in a long time. That can be dangerous. I used both a towel and an air duster on it. When I blew the air duster over the fan, it was like an avalanche of dust. Good that a lot of that stuff is gone now. The printer had quite a bit, too. I kept sneezing every few minutes while I dusted today. I didn't sneeze much with the other areas. I guess it shows that it was the worst area so far. It probably was making me sicker. There isn't much left to dust in my room, and I don't think the rest of it is too bad. Needs to be done, but it's not like how my desk was. After I finish dusting, I'll vacuum the room. I haven't done that in a while. Should be nice when I finish that, too. Setting a time to clean every weekday has helped a lot. 

Limiting my social media time has helped me, as well. Facebook was like the biggest time sucker, much as I still like it. Now my eyes are feeling healthier, I have more time for other stuff, and I'm not staying up late on it. That's to name just a few of the benefits I've had so far. I save most of my social media stuff for the weekend, although even with that I've set a time limit. On weekdays, I might post personal posts (my blog, Instagram, personal status on fb, etc.), an article I might have found through my Google news alerts, and check notifications. I don't go through my feeds during that time. I miss a lot of what friends and family post during the week, which is one of the only downsides. I could go through their posts first when I go through my 'feed' during the weekend. That'd be a way to stay on top of it. 

Started watching Chosen on Netflix last night. It's more of a Chinese 3-part special, than a regular show. I think it's a remake of an American one. It's a really intense thriller. It's good so far. It's about a family (parents, son, and grandpa) from China visiting Australia, and the father being forced to play a killing game. The 'chosen' person gets a box with a pic that has a time signature and name of the next person they have to kill. There's a gun underneath the pic. If they don't kill that person, they threaten your family. Another chosen person will be assigned to kill you, too. The father doesn't want to hurt anyone. It's interesting hearing both Chinese and English. Especially, the Australian accent mixed in there. Each part is pretty long, so I'm watching an hour each time. 

National Hamburger Day!

Makes sense that today would be Hamburger Day. People usually are having picnics, out grilling/barbecuing, going to the beach, etc. on Memorial Day. It's usually considered the first unofficial day of summer. It's also National Brisket Day. BBQ'd brisket is awesome, and goes along with the summer food theme. 

Managed to have my own Friday night Shabbos service. I have a siddur or prayer book that I can follow for Shabbos services. It's an old one, and it's definitely not the best. It's something, though. It has 3 different Friday night services. I closed my door during it and Rosie was not happy. Every few minutes she scratched and meowed at the door begging to be let in. I was surprised by how fast the Friday night one went. It might have been because I was the only one and therefore there was no minyan, but it still seemed odd. Minyan is at least 10 Jewish adults that's required for certain parts of the service. (The Torah can be counted if there are only 9 adults.) For example, if you have less than 10 Jews, you can't have the Torah part of the Shabbos service in the morning. You can certainly study it, though. Even if I wasn't following that, there wasn't much more for Friday night. It ended up being around 30 minutes. 

I also did my own Shabbos morning service. This time I left my door open and Rosie joined me. Luckily, she didn't play with my tallit (fringed prayer shawl). Since I essentially skipped half of it, because it was just me, it ended up being about as long as the night one. I might follow along with a synagogue that live-streams their services this coming Shabbos. That'd be nice to do, too.

I did read the parsha (Torah portion) after my Shabbos morning service. I haven't kept up with that for a while. I don't have a Jewish calendar that lists the parshas anymore. I have to look it up online. That doesn't take long. It's just easier when it's right in front of my face...If I were already keeping track, I'd still have to look because there are special Shabbos' that have added parts to read/study. I didn't get to look at commentaries on the parsha, but might do that next time. It's always interesting to look at different interpretations of it. 

I didn't get to doing Havdalah (closing ceremony for Shabbos) this time. Hope to next time. It can be somewhat dangerous if I'm the only one. Considering the braided candle for it makes a huge flame. I'm also getting towards the bottom of the one I got from Israel. You're supposed to hold it most of the time. It is cool to watch, though. I like that Mom made a spice box for Havdalah. It's not fancy, but it seems more special that way. I love smelling the spices. It looks cool when we douse the lit candle in grape juice or wine at the end, as well. 

Went to World Market yesterday. I always find interesting stuff there. This time I got Black Forest Cake Pudding Bars from the UK, artichoke bruschetta, garlic and herb Jack cheese spread, and red cabbage salad from Poland. Haven't had the 'pudding' bars, and I'm not exactly sure what they are like. They sound good. Might have some for dessert later. The bruschetta and cheese are both great. I had them both in a sandwich with chicken for lunch. They go well together. The cheese wedge servings are huge! Low in calories, too. I don't see myself being able to eat a whole one in one sitting. I thought the salad would be similar to the German rotkohl, but it's unique in its own way. It's not as tart and has a strong cinnamon taste. 

I mentioned not too long ago about the 'results' I've been getting while recording it in MyColitis. Pretty much every time I go now it's black. Not a good sign. I'm also getting weird twitching, squeezing, and like a rubber band snapping thing happening in the mid-right section of my abdomen. Most of the time it's just annoying, other times it really hurts. I'm wondering, if I do have an upper GI (gastrointestinal) bleed, that it might be happening in that area. I have to at least tell my primary about this soon. I thought it'd go away on its own, but it's been that color for a while. It's not like I'm constipated, which is pretty much the only other reason for it to be that color. If it was food with black dye, everything that I've eaten for several weeks would have it. I'm actually going more frequently, too.

Another thing I probably should bring up with her is falling asleep while inside any vehicle that's in motion. It doesn't matter if it's a car, ferry, plane, etc. I'll suddenly have a very strong urge to sleep once it's in motion. It's hard to fight it. Sometimes I can do so if someone's talking to me at the same time. However, that doesn't always keep me from falling asleep. I've always been like this, but I think it's getting worse as I age. I don't know what she could do, but it might be worth noting to her. Sometimes, it's actually nice. Especially considering I have such a hard time sleeping normally. I'm wondering if it's particularly bad now, that it might be related to what's going on with my colitis. If it's an internal bleed, I could be becoming anemic. That might make me sleepier. Thus, making it harder to keep myself awake in a car.

Didn't write more of Alliance 3, since I wanted more time to format the paperback of the cookbook. The cookbook's paperback is going to be 6" x 9". About the size of most of my books. The only one that was bigger was the memoir. I thought it'd be a good size, since it's not a very long book. Decided to put the preface after the table of contents for both versions. The paperback's toc is a bit odd. The 'chapters' couldn't all fit on one page. One chapter ended up on the next page. It looks kind of lonely in the middle of the page like that. I suppose it's alright. After copying and pasting a few 'chapters', my computer suddenly decided to crash and go into sleep mode. I panicked, because I wasn't saving as I went. Luckily, Word recovered most of it. It also pissed me off. I would have gotten much further if that hadn't happened. Oh well. I'll do more tomorrow. It'd be cool if I could finish it then. 

Finished the adverbs 4 German lesson, and started the abstract objects 3 one. The adverbs lesson was longer than I expected, but I was surprised I finished it in one sitting, and continued to the next one. Missed a couple of the questions/exercises this time. 

Read more of +Anima. It seems they're finally going to go over Cooro's background. He was the one that started the little group of +animas. Everyone has had their chance to tell their story, except him. If I remember correctly, the manga started with him being abandoned as a baby and taken in by a church. He was already a +anima. Normally, someone has to be in a life or death situation, and the first animal they see, they take on their characteristics. If they saw a fish; they grow a fish tail, gills, have scales, fins, etc. If they saw a bird; they have wings, feathers cover their body, have talons, and more. They can transform back to their human forms. Cooro is a crow +anima. He seems to be the only one who has never felt awful about being one. I wonder if he was the result of an experiment. Someone wanted to see if one could be born as a +anima. That would be interesting. The church thought he was an angel of death, since he has black wings, but he says they still loved him. When asked why he left, he didn't answer. A friend that Cooro knew back when he was at the church showed up. She became a swallow +anima. Another bird one. He was surprised, because the last time he saw her, she wasn't one. 

Along with the regular miscellaneous cleaning for today, I got some more dusting done. I had forgotten to look at a folded up bookcase under my tall dresser. It was absolutely caked with dust. Gross. I dusted my chair, keyboard, mouse, speakers, monitor, and part of the desk itself. There was a lot of dust on most of these things. My monitor's so much clearer looking. I accidentally tilted it forward a bit, and wasn't sure how to tilt it back at first. It can't bend very much, but it was just slight enough that I noticed it. Next will be my computer, stuff on top of the computer, printer, and the rest of the desk. Should be really nice to see it dust free. 

11th of Sivan

Didn't write more of Alliance. Instead, I wanted to spend a little more time with formatting the ebook version of the cookbook. I'm essentially done with that now. The only issue is really figuring out where the preface will go. Before looking it up, I put it just before the table of contents. However, there's debate about whether it should go before or after the toc. Online, people are saying it's basically up to the author...That doesn't help much.  My preface is short, so it's not like people are going to be wading through pages of it before the toc. I don't think it's even half of a page. If the template for the print version has it as after, I'll switch it around in the ebook to match. It won't be hard to do. This will be the first book I've published with a preface. The others didn't really need it. 

I've also linked all the 'chapters' listed in the toc, and linked each chapter back up to the toc. So, people can click/tap the chapter link, go straight to that chapter, then click/tap the next chapter, and be taken back up to the toc. That will be handy for people. You can jump all over the place. The only thing I hate about bookmarking/hyperlinking is that it makes 'hidden' bookmarks in Word when you're done. So, you have to go through all the hidden ones and delete them. Plus, linking everything takes some time. You have to be careful to make sure you're bookmarking or linking the right thing. If you have more than a few chapters, it gets difficult keeping it straight. This actually has 21 chapters. Really, 20 categories plus the source list. I think that's a little more than my 'usual'. I've never made a cookbook before, so it's obviously going to be different. 

Either after this or Monday, I plan to download the print version's template. If I do that after posting this, I might start filling it in. The bulk of it will probably be on Monday. I'm thinking I might be able to publish this next week. Maybe early that week. It's really not taking long. I barely started the ebook on Wednesday, did most of it yesterday, and then pretty much finished today. Basically, around a day and a half. I think the print will go faster. Then, I'll pick a pic for the cover, and create 2 covers for it. That usually doesn't take long to put together in Photoshop. All that will be left is figuring out the little details and the publishing forms. Not much at all. I'm just amazed at how fast it's going now. 

For German, I went through the politics lesson. It had 6 parts to it. A bit longer than I expected. There wasn't much of anything about their political system. There is a politics 2 lesson later on. Maybe it'll have something about it. I didn't miss a single question/exercise this time. That's pretty cool. I think adverbs are next.

Got quite a lot of miscellaneous cleaning done. Managed to get some dusting in, as well. Dusted the rest of the tall dresser in my bedroom. The dust was really bad there. It looks really nice now. Next will be my desk area. 

I'm up to the last episode of The Rain. With the way it's going, I don't think they're going to wrap it up in one episode. I could be wrong. There's a possibility of a 2nd season, though.

In One Piece, the residents, called Minks, of Zou Island are cute. They seem to be half human half animal. They're very into 'minkship', which is when they rub, bite, lick, etc. people they consider friends or family. Reminds me of the concept of 'skinship'. That people are touch starved. Touching, according to that, brings people together and satisfies it. It was somewhat annoying that they kept clinging to Luffy and his crew, but they also regard them as their saviors, so it's on another level compared to just being friendly. There are different 'tribes' of the Minks. There's a rabbit one, dog, cat, lion, etc. They consider humans to be another type of ape Mink. The town was completely destroyed before Luffy and the rest of his crew arrived. Some of the crew that got there before them were mixed up in that battle and helped the Minks. Not exactly sure how yet. They're taking forever to say what happened. Still don't know what happened to Sanji, but they hinted that he gave Nami a letter and left. I certainly hope he doesn't pull an Usopp, where he quits suddenly. It was funny how the dog tribe went crazy over Brook. He's a skeleton and every time they see him they drool. He's hated being there because of it. I thought it was interesting that Bepo was born there, but left the island as a baby and doesn't remember much. Bepo is in Law's crew. He's a polar bear Mink and has been friends with Law for a long time. It'd be cool if they do more of a background on him and how he met Law.

10th of Sivan

Wrote more of Alliance 3. Gave myself less time with it, yet I ended up writing quite a bit. For the ebook version of the cookbook, I did the front matter, and copied and pasted the body of the manuscript. Every 'chapter' has to have a page break. That takes up more space. The chapters are really categories like meat, fish, drinks, candies, etc. The dedication page is super short. There's a preface page, as well. That one's longer. I figure it's actually shorter than many other cookbooks that have it. There needed to be some background before people dove in. The table of contents hasn't been linked to the 'chapters' yet. That can be time consuming. Probably will do that next time. I was surprised I got the body of it done. That usually takes longer, can be annoying, and is monotonous. I'll have to copy and paste my source list to it, too. I'll link that to the toc. This is going much faster than last time. My computer is running faster and smoother, so that might be why. The original Word document is 102 pages. So far the ebook one is 116 pages. It's going to be quite a difference. However, that page count will vary with different devices. Just interesting to see the difference in Word. Not much left for the ebook. Then, it'll be on to downloading the paperback version's template, and filling that in. After that, it'll be the book covers. Finally, it'll be figuring out details like pricing and the description through the publishing forms of both versions. Then, it'll be published. I've decided not to do the preorder thing this time. I think it caused some confusion with my last two books.

Turns out Dad wants me to add some of her recipes, too. I asked her to write those down. It was mainly going to be the ones that were in the photo album, but if she really wants me to add them, I will. It'll take a little more time to write those out, and add them to the ebook/paperback. As long as there aren't too many, it shouldn't add that much time. I didn't really want to add to it...It has plenty of stuff already. Plus, I feel so close to finishing it.

Edit: I thought about it and briefly spoke again with her. I think I'll make another cookbook in the future based on her recipes. This current one is mainly about Mom and the recipes she collected and put in a photo album. Dad agreed that it might be better to make another cookbook centered on her. I can honor both of them this way. Also, it won't take longer to finish the current cookbook if I'm not going to add her stuff. This will be great for both.

For German, I went through the passive verb and religion lessons. I only missed a couple, because for some reason my eyes blurred and I couldn't see things correctly. I was hesitant about the religion one, but I think they were respectful and not like they were pushing one of them. One of the sentences was funny. It was about a holy potato. I already knew what Jewish was Juden, pronounced as yoo-den. Synagogue is interesting. It's spelled as synagoge and pronounced as zoo-na-goh-guh. I think all religions are masculine words? They use 'der' when putting a 'the' before them. Der seems to be masculine. That was interesting. The politics lesson is coming up soon. I guess they try to throw in what might be 'controversial' for the last section of lessons. I wonder if it'll be about their system. That'd be cool to learn about. 

I got more dusting done in my bedroom. Finished the short bookshelf I started yesterday, did the tall one next to it, did the CD stand next to that, and got to a small section of the tall dresser next to that. Quite a bit. The towel I used was absolutely full of dust when I stopped. More than last time. I wonder how fast I'll get through the rest of it. I think the tall dresser and my desk are the worst with the dust. The desk has my computer/monitor on top of it, and those can be dust magnets. Keyboard, too. There's my printer next to the computer that collects quite a bit itself. At least, I'm finally getting to it.

For drawing, I didn't have much energy for it, but I did think about how I wanted to design Antonio. I also ordered my meds, since I'll need the next batch soon. One of them apparently is out of refills, so they have to get it approved. My primary never renews it until after I order my next one. Her excuse in the past was they won't let her renew it until it runs out. She's the only doctor/medical professional who has told me this. That has always seemed fishy, yet when she does renew it, it's for another year's worth. It'll just add a couple of more days to the delivery date, since they have to get it approved. I like to order from their mail-order pharmacy, when I remember before my meds run out. It's nice that it can be mailed to me. 

National Taffy Day!

Taffy's a fun summertime candy. A little bit goes a long way, though. Interesting that there's a day devoted to it. 

According to the MyColitis app, I've been having an upper GI bleed the last few days. This goes by the color of the 'evidence'...If it's black, that's apparently what it is. Wahoo! I was scared when I started noticing it a couple of months ago, but it wasn't all the time, so I just shrugged it off. Now it's becoming more frequent. I do feel different than my new 'norm' when I'm like this. Mainly that there's a very strong fire in my stomach and/or near it. It's more than just 'heartburn'. Every time I try to breathe, it makes it worse. If it's true that I have an upper GI bleed, than I have more than the colitis. I might actually have Crohn's. The colon can be affected if you have that, too. Gastros haven't been sure if it was UC or Crohn's, but my first one was leaning towards the latter at the beginning. My stomach and duodenum (little part between the stomach and the small intestines) were slightly affected in that endoscopy at the beginning, too. They say if it were a lower GI bleed, it'd be red with visible blood. That'd be more indicative of UC. It's never been that way. So, that's saying something.

I find this app somewhat enlightening as I update it. Things have been changing in general with my gut according to it. I haven't been as on top of inputting what I eat, but I thought I'd do that with MyFitnessPal. Haven't been using that for the last couple of days, though. With recording what you eat through MyColitis, it has the time, a spot to describe what you had, what your appetite was beforehand, and what were your symptoms afterwards. It's a bit more handy in writing specifics about it. MyFitnessPal breaks down the nutrition facts for everything. That way I'm on top of calories, protein, sodium, etc. (Even how much I drink, which is important as well.) However, I never reach my requirement for things like protein. I barely reach half of it most of the time. I guess I should be keeping track in both apps. I also haven't been recording symptoms in MyColitis. I might have a couple of times when the pain was so bad I couldn't walk, but they want to know the day-to-day ones, too. It has a mood section that I haven't been keeping track of either. I got to get on top of those things. Maybe it'll be easier to see if it's a symptom that's causing the bleed, instead. I don't know. 

Wrote a lot more of Alliance 3 than I expected to. 3 pages this time. For the cookbook, I had to rearrange a few things that I forgot about. Managed to start formatting the ebook version of it, though. It shouldn't take me long. I like when I posted on fb about figuring out the title, someone said to save them a copy. I...don't need to. It'll be on Amazon. They have unlimited copies. Even of the paperback version. It was a little weird, but nice that they were so excited about it. I have a feeling many people will want it. She knew a lot of people. I know both local congregations might be interested in it, most of the family I'm friends with on fb probably will be, and it'll be the same with many of my friends. Some of my friends have met her before, and have said she was a great person. That's a lot of people right there. Those people will hopefully tell others and so on. Maybe it'll become popular. 

It'll be nice to eventually get a paperback version for myself. Much nicer than having the photo album. Easier to read, too. I might actually use it more in that form. If I do, I could take pics of the end results, post them on social media, and use it to promote it more. (Might try to make more of it than I have in the past even before I get my own copy.) If I make an official page on fb, I could have a specific place to do that. I can do a lot more with this book.

Did the entire first level of the German 'arts' lesson. It had 6 parts to it. Each part seemed longer than usual, too. I missed 3 of the questions/exercises. Not bad at all. Apparently, some of their h's are silent. I guess it depends on what letters are near it. I'm so far into it, and slowly have noticed this. Also, in the sports lesson, for ski they write it the same but pronounce it as 'she'. That's the first time I encountered that. Normally, k is pronounced pretty much the way it is in English. So, there's something to it. It was cool to learn about music and other art related words this time. 

Read more of the manga, Bokke-san. The art seems to be getting a little weirder as I go through it. Some people have commented that it's too busy/cluttered and difficult to read. I wonder if this is on purpose. Bokke are considered to be really weird creatures and things are hectic at the moment. They met a frog bokke this time. A really perverted one. He can mess with people by entering mirrors or images of any sort. He had a pic of Hino, reached into the pic, and felt around. Suddenly Hino looked like he was being thrown around and then strangled. Apparently, he could molest girls if he took a pic of them. After fighting him, Hino befriended him. It seems that with almost every bokke he meets now, he befriends them after fighting them. It's weird. Hino just wants to learn more about what he is, not fight.

Got more dusting done in my bedroom. I think it was more dust than last time. Finished the dresser, what was on it, the music stand, the top of a short bookcase near the dresser, and the things on top of that bookcase. Quite a bit. I think my TV was the worst. The only time I use it is to play my Sega Genesis, since it doesn't get cable. It's pretty old, too. Does well for old video games. I haven't played those in over a year, though. At least, it's clean now. I was surprised by how dusty the stand was. I haven't played my clarinet in a while, that might be why. I keep forgetting to get it recorked.

Finished drawing Tzvi's head/bust from Alliance. I'm still not completely happy with it. Oh well. I'll ink it tomorrow, and start drawing Antonio next. That should be interesting. Antonio's one of the few humans in the story. 

Watched 2 more episodes of the Rain last night. They're shorter episodes than I expected. Also, it was too warm to go on a walk, so I watched another episode instead. It's interesting. There seems to be a lot of quarreling within the group, and a bit more angst than there needs to be. I think I'm starting to like it. 

8th of Sivan

Wrote more of Alliance 3. I'm surprised how much I was able to write, considering I gave myself a little less time. I think I settled on a title for the cookbook: My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes. This way she's mentioned somewhere in the title, and it seemed like her treasure in a way. It fits to me. I didn't want it corny, plain, or too weird. I always save figuring out the title for just before formatting my books. It's a little late. Titles can be difficult. I might have figured out A3's as well. It might be Alliance: Darkness. The last one was Alliance: Dawn. I'm seeing a theme with that series. If I've figured that 3rd one out already, it's earlier than usual. I haven't finished writing the story for that one yet. Not sure how long it'll end up. It's 116 pages long at the moment. Roughly twice that if you factor in a regular paperback size. 

I also started looking at formatting an ebook version of the cookbook. At least, starting to reacquaint myself with the guidelines that both kdp (or Amazon) and Smashwords have. I could probably just copy what I did with previous books. I still remember a lot of the process, but I want to make sure. It should go faster than before, if I'm already pretty familiar with the process. Mainly simply skimming those guidelines. That's enough to remember certain parts for me right away. I've done this process 4 other times...The paperback formatting is much easier, since kdp has a blank template to fill in. However, it's a lot of copy and paste and can be time consuming. It's kind of like that for the ebook, too. I normally use .docx, but both kdp and Smashwords recommend .doc for the document. So, I usually make another one in that format. I end up with 3 different copies of one book. One that's the original, one that's for the ebook, and the final one that's for the paperback.

Finished the German sports and 'perfect 2' lessons. I only missed 2 this time. That's pretty good. The next one is on art. It has 6 parts for the first level. That's a lot. Should be interesting to see what that one's like. 

The manga Alive has been getting really intense. They all made it to the lake. Apparently, if all the power users battle it out, the 'heart' will appear from the lake. We still don't know what that is. Yuta was badly injured. Megu was forced to hold onto Taisuke or she'd die. So, he has to maneuver around and fight with her clinging to him. When she wasn't being mind controlled, she seemed tough and kept coming up with clever ways to escape. Now, she seems so weak and like a 'damsel in distress'. It's kind of annoying. She's the only one there without a power, though. 

For cleaning, I managed to get some dusting in. It looks like I didn't get far, but the area I got to in my bedroom was really bad. There must have been an inch of dust. Not having Endust makes it take a little longer, and sometimes I can't reach far enough into the cracks. It's a lot better now, though. 

Started drawing Tzvi's head/bust from Alliance. I'm not happy with how he looks at the moment. I'll just try to improve on him tomorrow. Haven't drawn in a little while, so that might be why he's not looking right at the moment.

Started watching The Rain on Netflix last night. It's a Danish show. I'm unsure if I like it so far, but it was only the first episode. For most of the episode they were stuck in a bunker. The rain carries a virus. The bunkers are apparently the only safe places. 

Also, watched more of One Piece last night. Luffy and some of his crew finally made it to Zou Island, where the other crew members went before them. Zou in Japanese means elephant. I knew that before, but I wasn't sure if there was another meaning. Turns out the entire island is on the back of a slowly moving ancient elephant. It reminds me of some sort of story that I can't place. The creator was clearly influenced by epic pirate legends, the Odyssey, Gulliver's Travels, and much more. Larger than life/epic stories. I love that sort of thing. Should be interesting to see what the island is really like, and what the rest of the crew is up to. Last time they appeared they were being attacked. They didn't show much of island itself, either.

World Baking Day!

This holiday was on Saturday. I wish I was more into baking. Things have to be exact, and then the end result is like magic. Hopefully, in the future I'll at least try to make challah. My mom used to make it every Friday. The house would smell so good! Muffins and cookies are pretty simple to make, but I'd rather get store-bought most of the time. Cool that there is a day for it.

It was also World IBD Day that day. I posted a status on fb with info and my story so far with it. A couple of people liked it, but I feel like not many read it. I also added a frame to my profile pic. I don't think anyone liked it...Apparently, when I took off the frame, a few people liked that one. It felt like they didn't like that I used that frame. It doesn't matter. It's my page, and I can post/change my pic however I want. It's an important awareness day, especially since I have it. Many people wear purple during it, since the awareness ribbon is a light purple. The only purple thing I wore were purple earring studs. It was something. I also posted a few other IBD related things on there. I didn't particularly like the preview image for the video I shared, but it also showed the reality that many go through. It was of a belly that had a stoma bag or J-pouch (I think that was the type shown). Some people have to have those bags if they have their colon removed. It acts like an external colon and collects waste. I'm terrified of having that sort of thing. The probability of people getting it increases the longer they have the disease. It doesn't mean it's definite, just something people should learn a little about. The video showed a lot of the other realities of it in general, and might have been too much for others to watch. People should know, though. Since it's an 'invisible' disease it's often misunderstood. I got a lot more likes on Instagram with posting my framed pic from fb there. Mostly from other people with IBD. I could tell because some were sporting their bags in their profile pics, and some openly said it on their profile. One commented that we're in this together. That was nice.

Saturday night was the start of Shavuot and ends tonight. It's a holiday to celebrate the Torah. It's also called the Feast of Weeks. (Shavuot's lit. 'Weeks'.) People study Torah, the book of Ruth, Talmud, the Mishnah, the Zohar, and more all night long. Some synagogues hold lectures and study groups all night long. It's like a massive study-in. I didn't do that last night or the night before. I don't think it would have been a good thing for me, health-wise, to stay up all night. I forgot about studying at least a little bit. I like that sort of thing. Another custom is to eat a lot of dairy food. I unknowingly followed that. Had a single serving chocolate truffle cheesecake Saturday night. I forgot it was the start of the holiday.

Apparently, Agender Pride Day was on Saturday. I don't think it's an 'official' day, considering there were only a few websites that mentioned it. I only found out when I stumbled upon a frame for it. I found agender related art through Pinterest, and posted it on fb and Instagram. It had the symbol, which is like a 'no' sign, but not tilted. It makes sense since we don't have a gender. There was a dragon holding up the symbol that was in the flag colors. The flag was in the background. I thought it looked cool. It's a 7-striped flag: black, grey, white, green (like a lime green), white, grey, and black. The black and white both represent the absence of gender, grey represents semi-genderless, and green represents non-binary gender. I think the semi-genderless are the demigenders. I guess they're on the spectrum, like aces and aros have spectra. I don't particularly like that type of green. It stands out a little too much. It seems close to the aro flag, too. Agender people fall under the trans, non-binary, and genderqueer umbrellas. Only one person liked it on fb, and a lot more liked it on Instagram. Most of the ones that liked it were trans (a mix of binary and enby ones). They mentioned it on their profile. That's cool. 

It's great that I'm keeping up with blogging during the weekdays. The last time I posted 11 or more times in one month was towards the beginning of 2014. That's a long time. Go back 3 more years, and it was more like my average amount. Hopefully, I can keep this momentum going. 

Rosie seems to be getting more lumps, so I went back to grooming her with the mitt again. She loves it. Last time I eventually forgot about it. It's so cute when I grab the mitt and she comes running towards me. She was eating Saturday, mid-bite noticed I was putting it on, then ran to me with a few pieces of food falling out of her mouth. She loves it more than food...This time I've decided to go over her lumps with the mitt until she starts to walk away. That way I can work more on getting rid of them. I kept thinking I was going to make her sore, but she stayed with me for a while the last couple of times. A lot of hair is being lifted, at least. Overall her coat looks and feels much nicer. I think the bumps are very slowly softening and coming out. It's going to take a long time until they're gone. Tasha has never had this problem and she's a couple of years older than Rosie. Plus, she has long fur. Rosie doesn't. She is slimmer than Rosie, but it still is weird. 

Wrote more of Alliance 3. Got more than I thought I would done. Looked more at cookbooks to get a feel for how I want the cookbook. I think I'm going to keep it the way it is. It's clean and easy to read. I also brainstormed ideas for a title. Ended up with 6 possibilities: Our Family's Classic Recipes Cookbook, Mom's Treasure Trove of Recipes Cookbook, Recipes From a Photo Album Cookbook, A Time Capsule of a Cookbook, 35 Years of Family Recipes Cookbook, Mom's Collection of Recipes Cookbook. I probably could take 'cookbook' out of the title I pick, too. I'm just unsure about them. I thought I should decide on a title before I move on. Once I do that, I'll start formatting it for the ebook and then the paperback. Things are moving quicker than I expected with this part of the process. I have plenty of pics to choose from for the cover. 

Finished a German future tense lesson, and started a sports one. I didn't miss as many as I thought I would with the future one. The sports one has been interesting. It's also about hobbies. 

Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler's manga had an update. The chapter was short, but at least it moved on from that really long flashback. The flashback was important, but seemed to go on for too long. It explained what really happened to the Ciel we know and his identical twin. The Ciel we know hasn't revealed his true name. He was just referred to as a 'spare' in the flashback. His twin was the real Ciel. They both went through hell and the real Ciel died. With his death, Sebastian showed up and 'our' Ciel entered a contract with him. They burned the place down. Yet, presently, the real one looks very much alive. Apparently, Undertaker brought him back to life. Now, we're not sure if the contract is void if the one that gave up his soul in order to summon Sebastian is alive. That's a big twist. The Undertaker said he did it because he didn't want the Phantomhive bloodline to end with 'our' Ciel. With the contract, it ends with Sebastian eating his soul once his revenge is complete. So, he's already destined to die sooner. I'd like to think he would figure out a way to get out of that, though. He's smart enough. It's unclear what Undertaker's relationship is to the family. There has been hints that he might have been a lover of Ciel's grandmother. Not much else to go on. I wish there was more revealed in this one. I just have to wait another month or 2 to see what happens next...

For cleaning, I mostly did miscellaneous stuff. Things like laundry, taking the garbage/recycling back from the curb, hand washing my eye mask and its bag, cat stuff, etc. Hopefully, tomorrow I can get to dusting more of my room. 

Since my gut hasn't been great, I'm trying to go easy on it today. Thinking about making udon with a mushroom broth. I hate whole or sliced big mushrooms, but I like the taste and sometimes can have them chopped up fine. It's a texture thing. It doesn't actually have mushrooms, just stuff to make it taste similar. Apparently, after looking at the package, they mainly use sardines for the seasoning. I don't normally use seasoning packets for any sort of instant noodles, because of the salt content. However, this seems like it's lighter on it than some. Plus, I've realized that I sometimes don't get enough salt. Those levels are usually low in blood tests for me. On MyFitnessPal, I often don't make it to the recommended amount. So, it's probably ok. Just having the udon and broth would be best on my stomach, I think. I was thinking about adding some old duck bacon, but was weary of it. There's cherry pie, too. That might be soothing. 

International Museum Day!

Museums are important, so they definitely deserve a day celebrating them. The holiday started in 1977, and is coordinated by the International Council of Museums or ICOM. Every year has a theme. Last year's was Museums and Contested Histories: Saying the Unspeakable in Museums. This year it's Hyperconnected Museums: New Approaches, New Publics. 

Today's been roughly the same temp as yesterday, which has been nice. Not very sunny, though. Saw a rabbit in the backyard. Apparently, they've taken over that area. We see them every so often. They're big and fat looking, which is good to see. There's a big black cat that likes to roam the backyard, and I think it caught a baby rabbit at one point. It was sad to watch, but that was the only time I've seen it happen. It's good to see that they're not attacked often. I got up late again, but I'm trying to be kind to myself and not get upset about it. I just try to get what I can done. I also have some sort of cold, so it's understandable that my body would need extra sleep. 

Went through the first German lesson in the last section in Duolingo. The theme was business. I found it interesting that 'ware' (pronounced as: varuh) means merchandise or product. It makes sense that English carried that for words like warehouse or housewares. So, merchandise house or house products. I find the roots interesting. There was one part of the lesson that was a little difficult at first. It was a different way of thinking about a certain thing. I think I only missed 2 or 3 altogether today, which isn't bad. The next lesson is on more future tenses. After that, it'll be sports. I don't think they've covered sports yet in prior levels. 

Read more of the manga, Hajimete no Aku or My First Devil. Jiro has an invention that heats up a room. The problem is it increases the heat over time. It also was made to make the enemy to take off their armor. So, everyone started taking off their clothes. He couldn't turn it off, because it was too hot. The next invention was one where they switched souls. A fellow male student, Kimura, wanted to look like his brother before going out on a date with someone he met online. He had used his brother's pic for his profile. Pochi, the talking dog, was with them next to the machine, and they were about to wait for his brother, when the machine accidentally turned on. Jiro ended up in Pochi, Kimura was in Jiro, and Pochi was in Kimura. Then, Jiro's sister broke the machine, so they were stuck like that. Hits to the head, apparently, switched them back, but it was the classic cliche of switching bodies. They also played Mahjong at one point. Jiro didn't really understand it, but won anyways. They were playing the game with penalties. Whoever lost had to do whatever the winner told them to. They were thinking he'd ask for something really evil and/or perverted. (He isn't perverted, but Kyouko always thinks he is.) He just asked for another round, because he thought it was fun.

Didn't do much for cleaning today. Just the cat stuff and laundry, mainly. With this cold, I really didn't want to bother with dusting today. 

Finished watching Mystic Whispers on Netflix. It was ok. The last episodes weren't as great as the first couple. It was still entertaining. I'm thinking of starting The Rain next. I think it's Danish. I probably should be watching the ones I've already started beforehand, but I'm tempted by it.

Youtube: 

Gintama:

Charlotte:
The song really fits, but the dub of the anime in the last few seconds isn't great. Might be because I'm used to the sub version and like the original VA's voices. 

Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom):

 

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia

Today's International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia or IDAHOT. It's also against other 'phobias' in the community. The organization that started it said they didn't want the name to be too long, and wanted an acronym people could remember easily. It's also against acephobes and arophobes. I'm aro ace. I don't particularly like when others lump them together and call it aphobia. That's literally 'fear of a'. Doesn't make as much sense. Plus, asexual and aromantic are 2 different things (it's somewhat rare to be both), and they get lumped together too often. Often, there is arophobia within the ace community. Some by ace activists themselves, which hurts a little more. I haven't come across acephobia in specific aro spaces online, but they seem to have a quieter presence. Also, it's against enbyphobia, which is also referred to as exorsexism. I'm enby, and while we are under the trans umbrella (and also experience transphobia), there's an added layer of hate against people who aren't apart of the binary. Hopefully, someday, there will be no more haters. I changed my fb profile frame to an IDAHOT theme. Just to let people know about it. Shared that pic on Instagram, too. Some countries actually have special national activist programs going on today. Not sure if the US has any going on. World IBD is coming up soon, too. That would be another good one to raise awareness for.

If I offended anyone with yesterday's post, I apologize. I just needed to get it off my chest, so to speak. I probably won't mention that (at least the word) again. Exorsexism or enbyphobia can be disturbing, especially in your own community. I should have probably framed it more like that instead.

Not many people showed up to the local trans meeting last night. More than last time, at least. With that one there was just Dad, me, and one other person. This time we had 5. One of which hadn't been there in a while. Ze is also enby. Ze/zir are their pronouns. Hopefully, I'm getting that right. There are apparently a few ways to spell that pronoun, and I don't know which way ze spells it. I've heard it before, so it's common enough. With learning German, 'sie' is pronounced as 'zee' (some people spell this pronoun as zee), it's used for she, they, and a formal you. Makes me wonder if this is where that pronoun came from. It'd be interesting. I brought that up, and ze seemed interested in that, too. He is 'er' which is pronounced similar to saying the word 'air' in English. Found out recently that 'er' can also be used for the word 'it'. That sounds somewhat demeaning. Most of the time 'es' (like pronouncing the letter 's') is 'it'. 

Pride came up. We most likely will have a booth. Might have lemonade or iced tea there, as well as candy. That would be nice on a hot day. Not sure how we'll do the clothing exchange. We ended up talking about my ace group, which I didn't expect. That group online has gone quiet since last December. That's a long time. I was mostly the only one actively posting stuff for a while. At some point I got tired of being the only one. No one really showed up to the offline meetings, too. One person that I knew showed up a few times, and yes he is demi and therefore on the ace spectrum, but it felt more like a solidarity thing. I gave up on that close to a year ago. There was one person that joined the online group around November, and was really wanting to jump start the group. I let them try. They posted a few times, and then disappeared. They're still a member, but never heard from them again...We still have 17 online members, and I'm surprised they haven't dropped it. The group last night suggested I still hand out my flyers from last year. If anything, I can educate (there's info on what being ace means on it) or let another ace know that there are others here. I just remembered that I never mentioned the meeting place or time for the offline one, so it might still work. I do mention the fb group. I don't know...I think only 2 or 3 were taken last year. 

I want to get some Pride-related clothes and other merch soon. The only things I have is a 3' x 5' ace flag, a small genderqueer flag, a rainbow wristband (it was free, but it's falling apart), and maybe a rainbow colored strange looking necklace. That's it. Nothing like shirts. One of the members last night brought up that she bought some Pride gear, and that reminded me of it. It'd be cool to have something related to most of my 'labels'. Stuff that I could wear during the rest of the year, too. I can be more out and proud. I do have a list I compiled last year of online Pride-related retailers. I was thinking about it last year too, but never got to it. It'd be great if I did before Pride month this year. Those retailers sell that stuff year-round, so it's not like as soon as Pride season is over they suddenly shut down. However, it is their biggest season, and there might be more deals. 

We went to Shari's afterwards. I don't normally like carrot cake, but I thought I would try theirs. They were out of them. I got their cheesecake with strawberries instead. It was nice, dense, and rich. Smaller than I expected, but that might be a good thing. Tons of strawberries, so that was a plus.

I stayed up a little too late, so I got up later than I'd like. Today has been really cool weather wise, which is nice compared to a few days ago. I feel like I have the energy to do more when it's like this. I woke up feeling sick, though. There's something going on with my nose and throat. My nose especially hurts. I know I get sick easier and more often than I used to, but it's still annoying. The heat may have messed with me. 

Finished the section for German. There's only one more section left, which has 20 lessons. There's a lot more than it seems, because after finishing the first 'level' for those lessons, I plan to go back to the beginning and level out everything. There are 5 levels for every lesson. I somehow already finished 3 levels of the basic stuff, even though I didn't go back yet. Maybe it's because I've gotten so far? 

Read more of the manga, Helck. It's gotten really serious lately. They were going to kill all the winged mutated humans, but have decided to save them somehow instead. Vamirio realized her uneasiness around Helck was really her sensing how he felt. He didn't want to kill his old friends, but was steeling himself in order to save the demons. There does seem to be ways of breaking the king's spell. Edil broke away from it on his own for a while. When Helck hugged Alicia, in the chapter I read, she managed to hug back. She's still in there. Should be interesting to see how it turns out.

Started dusting my bedroom. Did all of my nightstand, the bed's headboard behind it, and part of the dresser under the window. I hadn't washed the shallow silver dish that I use for my earplugs in a long time. It might have caused me problems. It looked shinier after I washed it (instead of just dusting it), which was nice to see. There was a very thick layer of dust on the nightstand. Probably not healthy, considering it's near my head when I sleep. It's better now, at least. 

2nd of Sivan

Woke up at around the time I wanted to. Yay! Hadn't for the last couple of days because of the heat. It's a lot cooler today, which has been nice. 

I've been thinking about that lunch we had on Sunday with someone Dad knew and her daughter. I might be thinking more about it because of the meeting tonight. I think the daughter might have been a truscum. (Side note: I'm not calling them 'scum'. This is actually the word used for someone like this. There isn't a good alternative.) Truscums are also referred to as transmedicalists. (I could use this instead, I suppose...) They believe that in order to be trans you must have dysphoria, and must be transitioning in some way medically. There's an added layer to it, too. They use terms like 'transtrender' and 'appropriating transness' often. They try to exclude non-binary people, too. They're essentially gatekeepers. They might use similar terms and rhetoric that TERFs do. A TERF is a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Not really feminists, but they take up that banner. There was a comic posted on one of the trans pages I follow on fb that illustrate what a transmedicalist really is in much more detail. Apparently, they are mostly on Tumblr, but there's a small minority offline. 

Anyways, towards the beginning of that lunch, she said she hated the 'transtrenders' and how some people think being trans is cool. She seemed to also think some genders were 'fake'. Then, she said they don't realize that in order to be trans, you must have been bullied in school. I spoke up, saying that I didn't know what I was and tried my best to fit in with the girls. So, I wasn't bullied because of it. That seemed to stop her in her tracks for a moment. She seemed excited to talk about gender dysphoria. I thought it would be cool to talk to another enby (she's genderfluid) about it, but I wasn't ecstatic about it. Then, she went into a lot more detail than I expected, especially while we were eating. Things like wondering what it'd be like to have a penis...She kind of threw me off when she told me not to get a 'man bun'. First, it threw me off because I'm not a guy. Secondly, telling me not to is a bit odd. It's not like I said I liked that look. Plus, even if I did, she couldn't stop me from doing it. Her mom might have been enby as well from the emails she sent to my dad. However, both the mom and daughter looked really feminine. While I get the daughter is genderfluid...it was odd. Dad said the daughter had a totally different look in the past. Something was off about the whole thing. I couldn't place it at the time. It still feels like there was more to it. If she is a transmedicalist, it's even weirder for an enby to be one. I have read that some believe that genderfluid and agender people are 'real' trans people, and they're not enby. Especially if they're transitioning medically. They feel that genderfluid and agender people make sense, and the others don't. (Sounds bizarre to me...) Ok, if you don't understand something, it must automatically not be real? So, as an example, languages you don't 'get' aren't real? It's really messed up thinking. As is how TERFs think. Maybe transmedicalist are really TERFs in disguise trying to tear the trans community apart? There are gatekeepers in the ace community, too. TERFs have issues with aces and aros, as well. Apparently, they're the ones pushing the 'queer is a slur and people shouldn't reclaim it for themselves' thing, too. Like, the person's identity is offensive to them. They really have their tentacles in a lot of things. She didn't really post much on her fb page, but I thought it'd be best to block her. I don't want to associate with someone like that. 

Managed to write a little more of Alliance 3. It's been a while, and I'm glad I was able to get to it. I reworded some things for the cookbook. Also, wanted to change my 'source list' to a bibliography, but realized I don't really have enough info for most of them to make a proper one. I'm kind of a stickler to not doing a half-baked looking bibliography. So, I'll leave it as a 'source list'. At least it'll be there. I also started looking at the layout/template of some of the cookbooks I have. I don't think mine's all that different compared to the ones without pics. I'll look at a few more next time. There's one more thing I want to make sure of, too. After that, I'll start formatting it for both the ebook and print versions. I probably should come up with a title before I do that...Then, I'll look through pics I've taken of what I've made from that album, and pick one for the front cover. Unsure if I'll pick another one for the back cover of the print version, or just have a black background. 

Finished the German lesson from yesterday, as well as the math one. Got halfway through the banking one. There was only one part to the math one. It was really simple. The banking one has been a bit odd, but there's only 2 parts to it. I'm close to the next checkpoint/section on the trek, which I just realized is the last one. After finishing that, I'll go back through it all and level them out. There are 5 levels to each lesson. I'm running through it after finishing the first level at the moment. They started that leveling system when I was about halfway to where I am now. If it had started out like that, I might have leveled them out fully as I went through it. 

Managed to get some cleaning done, too. I vacuumed my bedroom's ceiling. I don't think I've done that before. I might have used the swiffer a little at the edges in the past, though. It was a real upper body workout. (Arms are still hurting.) The only spot I didn't get to was the center. I was a little weary of vacuuming it, because it's a popcorn ceiling. I thought I'd knock off all those little pieces, but I didn't. I didn't think the ceiling was cleaner until I turned out my overhead light and turned on a lamp. The cobwebs were completely gone. It seems like a cleaner and whiter color now, too. I also windexed my mirror. It's not a full length, but it is big. It's on top of my dresser, so in order to clean it well I have to get on top of my chair. I'm too short otherwise...It had been a long time since I last cleaned it. There might have been some dust on it while I used the windex. That might be why it seemed blurrier after wiping it off. It seems better now. Certainly better than before I cleaned it. Next, I'll dust the furniture/wood, desktop computer, printer, and miscellaneous other things. That might take a while, and I forgot about getting Endust. It still can be done without it. Just won't be as nice smelling and seemingly as clean. After that, I'll finally get to vacuuming my floor.

Read more of Bokke-san. I think the style reminds me of En Passant or Anagle Mole? It's weird that it seems so familiar. It's an odd style. Apparently Hino is a cat bokke or cat G-d. They refer to them as G-ds, because there isn't really a being like them and it's easier. It explains why he sprouts cat ears and paws when he transforms. These cat bokke, in the past, were known to leap over valleys, and slash mountains with their claws. That's cool. They met an ice-based bokke that explained more of what Hino is. He attacked them first, though. He found a book at the library that was all about the bokke. The pic for the cat one was naked, but facing away and hunched over. One of the weirdest poses in the book. They haven't shown Hino with a tail yet, but the one in the pic had one. 

Watched more of Mystic Whispers last night. There are only a couple more episodes left, so only one more ghost they'll help. From the preview, it seems like it's a ghost of someone that one of the main characters knew. Of course, they'll have a more personal one for last. 

Watched more of Black Clover. They ended up saving the kidnapped kids in the mountain, but the crazy scientist that wants to study Asta's body started attacking them. She's annoying. 

Also, watched more of the 2nd of Saiki Kusuo no Psi-nan. There was a lot of English in this one. Not said, but written down. It surprised me. The first part with that was Kusuo's brother planned a birthday game for him. Every clue was in English. It wasn't broken up and the grammar was correct. That's a bit rare with anime. I know that his brother lives in England, but it still was surprising. His birthday present to Kusuo was fireworks that read out: Happy Birthday, Kusuo! The next part with quite a bit of English was when Kusuo's father was critiquing a mangaka's idea for another manga. Every speech bubble was in English. So weird. 

Watched another episode of One Piece, too. They showed a bit of what happened with the other crew members. They were told to go to a nearby island when they were being attacked on the water by 2 enemies. I wonder how the crew at Dressrosa will meet up with the ones on another island, if their ship is at that other island as well. Maybe the previous king will give them a temporary ship. However, the navigator, Nami, is with the group that went to the island. I guess we'll see. Kaido showed himself, too. He had a business relationship with Doflamingo aka Joker. He's apparently always trying to kill himself. Even the marines have tried to kill him numerous times. He didn't know yet about Joker's defeat. It should be interesting to see his reaction. He looks a lot more powerful.

1st of Sivan

It's the beginning of the month of Sivan on the Jewish calendar. It's also Rosh Chodesh Sivan. On the first of every month, there's a holiday, too. It's moon based and considered a women's holiday. This also means Shavuot is coming up. We celebrate and study the Torah all night and day of it. Also have lots of dairy, like cheesecake. 

Had a hard time sleeping last night, too. Ended up getting up later than I wanted again. It's understandable considering how warm my room was. I had a window fan up for a couple of hours before I went to bed. I thought it was making it too cool by the time I was getting ready for bed. So, I put it away, but left my window open. It quickly warmed up again. I was too tired to get the fan again...The cats also fought a lot in my room. Probably to get to the window. That was fun. Tonight should be better. It'll be a lot cooler, and the rest of the forecast looks like it'll be nice and have decent temps. 

Rosie managed to rip off the butterfly and wire from her new toy (we got it a few months ago). That had to have required a lot of force. She's a strong cat, so it doesn't surprise me much. I was thinking about looking for replacements for the butterflies, but find it odd to have to keep replacing them. Plus, now it'll be hard to get the broken wire 'stub' still attached to the machine off. There should be a similar toy out there that doesn't need constant replacements. She's really upset that we threw out what was left of it today. She has so many other toys! 

Didn't get to writing Alliance 3, the cookbook, or drawing today, either. Did much better than I thought I would in German. Only missed one question this time. About halfway through the lesson now, so it's a bit long. 

Read more of Alive. It seems that Taisuke's power isn't just heat based. He did seem different compared to how the others gained their powers. He can stop falling midair and land safely, use heat, and now heal or negate another 'comrades' ability. I'm guessing on the last one. Yuta had completely petrified and was starting to crumble, but Taisuke held onto him and begged for him to come back to 'life'. He suddenly went back to normal. While Taisuke was holding him, he did feel warm. So, it might still be heat based. They'll probably find out soon. They met a pastor with the power to petrify. He kills people, because he thinks he's ending their suffering and sending them back to G-d. Also, that people should be grateful for what he's doing. They defeated him, and he's taking them to the lake where Katsumata's group is meeting to get the 'heart'. Still don't know what that 'heart' is. 

Managed to get some cleaning done. I dusted the walls in my bedroom, along with what was on those walls, and the closet. There's a huge painting my mom did when she was in high school that hangs over the head of the bed. It's heavy, too. In fact, when we put it up, I thought that it was going to fall and crush me in the middle of the night. It's of a high school friend playing the guitar. I don't think I've ever dusted it until now. I was afraid I'd take some of the painting itself off along with the dust. So much dust came off of it! It looks much clearer now. 

Tried the next bread on my 'journey', which is rosemary olive oil bread, for snack. It was tougher than I expected. After adding margarine and heating it up in the microwave, it softened up nicely. Smelled amazing, too. Part of that toughness might be because I didn't have it for a few days. It might have gone slightly stale. It was a decent bread.

I plan to have some 'fresh' 3-cheese tortellini with pesto for dinner. Got both the pasta and sauce a couple of days ago, so it's not as 'fresh' now. I think I had them both in the past and they were really good. 

Watched more of One Piece last night. I've got less than 100 episodes to go until I catch up to the current ones. Not bad. It's a really long series. This time they mainly went over what happened to Sabo. Everyone thought he died as a little kid. He had amnesia after that 'accident'. His memories only came back after reading about Ace's death a couple of years ago, which crushed him. Ace and Luffy are his adopted brothers. I'm glad Luffy was able to meet with Sabo at Dressrosa. Luffy was still asleep during what I watched last night. Sabo told his story to Luffy's crew, and left without saying goodbye to him. 

National Apple Pie Day!

This holiday was yesterday. One of the best pies! Especially Dutch apple pie. Although, I like cherry pie more. It was also International Hummus Day. I used to be scared of it, but as soon as I tried it, I loved it. (Similar to how I was with Nutella.) I don't like the new thing where they call something hummus but it doesn't have chickpeas. (Tastemade and others on fb are sharing trending recipes like that.) That ain't hummus...That's just another dip. Even if they still use tahini in it. When I visited Israel, they had huge vats of it at the hotels with their complementary breakfast. There were falafel stands on what seemed like every other block. (Of course, shawarma on the other side of the street of each one.) Those falafel sandwiches were packed with hummus. They take it seriously. It was some of the best hummus I've ever had, too. 

Yesterday was also Mother's Day. I have a hard time with that day. My mom passed away 6 years ago on May 1st. The whole month is difficult. Her birthday is on the 21st and my parents' anniversary is not long after that. So, this adds to it. It's like a reminder that she's not here. Plus, I hate this, but I have a hard time calling my other parent, 'mom'. I hate it because she's just as much a woman as my mom was, and she's also my parent...While out, I call her my parent. If we're by ourselves or with people we know, I call her dad. I still feel mixed with it. Father's Day is difficult too, but for other reasons. There is a Parents Day, but it's not commercialized or played up much. 

I got sidetracked yesterday, so I didn't get to blogging. That's ok. It'll be fine if I only get to it during the week. 

It's been hot today and yesterday. Today was close to 90. Definitely not our norm for this time of year. 

I slept in later than I planned to today. Had such a hard time sleeping last night, but was able to sleep soundly for a few hours this morning. Tasha liked that I had my window open, and decided to stay perched up there for a while. Rosie cried more. I think they both fought a few times throughout the night, too. It was a little too warm, although there was a slight cool breeze. The right side of my abdomen had more pain than the other. It was more like a pressurized type of pain. Difficult to sleep with, too.

Yesterday, both Dad and I went to a Thai place for lunch with a friend of Dad's and her daughter. It was kind of like a Mother's Day thing that way...Her daughter is genderfluid, I think, and Two-Spirit. So, sometimes she's her son instead of daughter. I find that cool. Since we are both enby, it was also cool to chat about it. The restaurant wasn't very well air conditioned, so it was a little uncomfortable after a while. It was nice talking to them and the food was good. Except for the salad. The dressing was a little weird. Very plain, too. 

After the restaurant, I dropped off my leftovers, and we both went to Starbucks. I got a huge chocolate chip cookie and iced chai. There weren't many people there. They're known to have their ac on blast even when it's not hot, so it was the perfect place to go. 

We don't have ac at home. Usually, there's one room downstairs that stays relatively cool. Once it hits about 90 out, it starts to warm up, though. My room upstairs gets the hottest. I can't stand having my desktop on in this weather because it makes that room even hotter. It's like walking into an oven. Probably not good for my computer, either. 

Today, I didn't get to writing Alliance 3 or the cookbook, since it was already warming up when I woke up. All of it's on my computer. I should be able to get to those Wednesday and on, according to the current forecast. Tuesday's supposed to not be as hot as today, but it's still up there. So, I'm unsure about it. Probably won't go for one of my walks later today, either. 

I did get to my German today. It was a spirituality lesson. I felt a little uneasy when I saw the title. If it was religious stuff, I'd have issues with it. Instead it was more on the supernatural and phrases. Like, 'cats have nine lives'. Also, the word for ghost or spirit is 'geist', which makes sense when I think of things like 'poltergeist'. I had started to go through the next lesson, but my phone kept crashing. So, I just stopped there. 

Ao no (Blue) Exorcist's manga finally had an update. Although, it wasn't technically the next chapter. Somewhat like an in between one. No questions were answered. In fact, it just added more. We still don't know what Shiemi is, and yet they keep teasing us about it. Amaimon recently found out, and was pissed he wasn't told before. He's had an odd attraction towards her, and it confused him in the passed. There's a fan theory that she's like Mother Earth, and since Amaimon is the Demon Lord of the Earth, they're supposed to get together. I'm not sure about that. He has been a real jerk to her in the past. Shiemi did realize that she (romantically) loves Rin. I really thought they were going to make her aro or something. She's not into romance, and has constantly asked people what it was like to fall in love. It just confused her more. While I like them together, I thought it could have been a strong platonic relationship. Not romantic. They played it off as she was just too naive or slow about it. I know Rin confessed to her, but she didn't have to fall for him like that, too. It's just disappointing. Maybe she's demiromantic? If that's the case, it's a little better in my eyes. 

Didn't feel like drawing today. Something about the heat makes me not want to do much. I'm able to blog today through an app on my phone, so no need for my computer to be on for it. Although, this app isn't the best.

Watched a Korean movie called Psychokinesis. It was funnier than I expected. A guy gains the ability of psychokinesis after drinking mountain water that had something alien fall into it. He uses his ability to save his estranged daughter. Some of it was really hokey, but I think it was meant to be. The villain played her part well, and he got back at her in an epic way. 

Watched more of Devils Line on Saturday. It's better than I expected. The 'devils' are vampires. It's more mature than most vampire anime. They're not romanticized, which is good to see. 

On Saturday, I watched Boku no (My) Hero Academia. With this current season, it's getting better and better. It seems Deku and the other heroes stopped the villains' plans. They were sent there to capture Bakugo. They fell on the one that got him and another student. The only problem is they ended up landing right where the villains were regrouping at the end of the episode. I can see why they'd want Bakugo. He seems like a wild card. Not entirely like a hero or a villain. He used to bully Deku after all. He seems to only care about himself and beating everyone. I think he's more complicated than that, though. He wants to go against people who are giving their all as well. If he won  a match, but thought the other opponent didn't take it as seriously as him, he gets pissed and doesn't acknowledge it. He tried to refuse an award because of that type of scenario last season. He has some standards. 

Watched One Piece last night. Luffy finally defeated Doflamingo, and the Birdcage came down. Rather satisfying to see him lose. His sunglasses broke, but they still refused to show his eyes. Makes me wonder if there was something wrong with them. The marines actually apologized to the former king of Dressrosa for letting Doflamingo take over. That's rare. They're often shown as very corrupt in this series. To own up to it is big. 

I feel kind of mixed up with my gender dysphoria. I think because my mind tries to frame it in a binarist way. It's hard not to when the binary is strictly enforced by society. There was a poem someone wrote recently in the enby group on fb. It was about feeling like a weird patchwork doll. I don't think they're agender, but I could still relate to a lot of it. Being very dysphoric about my chest, people would think I'd want to be more masculine. Dysphoric about facial hair, more feminine. Loving my long hair, which is considered 'feminine'. Wanting my ovaries and such out is seen as 'masculine'. I'm not sure about other parts of me, but with this alone...it's weird looking at it in a binary way. When I look at it from just an agender perspective, it makes sense. However, I can't shake that weirdness. It doesn't help that medical transition stuff isn't very well known for enby people. There isn't really a 'standard' like for binary trans people. Almost everything is centered on them. That's great that they've made so many strides to get where they are now (really amazing!), but enby people are so much further behind with that stuff. I think we're making some headway, at least. If I were to go through KP's gender health program, they still might be able to help. It would be like feeling around in the dark, though. Interesting to think about in the future. I'm still iffy about coming out to my primary, since I don't trust her. If she has a bad reaction, I would have more reason to drop her.