30th of Sivan

Last night we went Red Lobster to celebrate Dad's birthday. She got a shrimp cocktail and fried calamari. She loves shellfish, so that was good for her. I got one of my faves, maple-glazed chicken. It comes with a salad, which I had bleu cheese dressing with. It also comes with rice pilaf and a choice of another side. I chose mashed potatoes. The maple sauce also has cherries pureed in it. I could drink that stuff. So good! Since Dad doesn't eat cheese, I got all the Cheddar Bay Biscuits to myself. I only had one, and took the rest home. Had half of the entree and salad. Still was filling. We later went to a local international market for chocolate. She got a very dark orange chocolate. I got birthday chocolate. That has milk chocolate on the outside, and white chocolate on the inside with sprinkles. It was like a party in my mouth for dessert. Interesting that I was the one that chose the 'birthday' one. Although, she loves very dark chocolate, so it wouldn't have been her thing. 

There was a troll that showed up in one of the IBD groups on fb. They made a post about it being a disorder and not a disease. (IBD is Inflammatory Bowel Disease.) They wondered why it was called a disease, when (according to them) a disease is something someone 'catches'. They said when they think of that word they think of STDs. People calmly tried to explain it to him numerous times, and he either called them trolls or twisted their words. People also started listing other diseases, and he said that they should be called disorders, too. It was wild how trollish he was being. In a chronic illness group, no less. We're already going through enough. I've never liked the idea that I have a disease, either. It's hard to wrap your head around at first. Doesn't mean it suddenly changes it. Someone mentioned that it essentially boils down to dis-ease, which is true and I've heard that before. At least, most of the members had a sense of humor about it as it continued.

Also, read an article not long after that about how people with IBD were lobotomized in the past. (Some were also subject to electroshock therapy beforehand.) Doctors considered it to be all in the head connected to mental illness or some sort of emotion. Seems like a fraction of the general public still thinks in a similar way. Apparently the first patient (with IBD) to have it done was in 1948. They were still doing it until the late 80's. That's a long time. No one officially apologized, but one doctor apologized to a few of his previous patients privately. I didn't know how the medical community treated it in the past, so it was eyeopening. There were doctors who were completely against it and tried new treatments, instead. Still, it really messed with people. They still had their disease, but they lost their personalities and then some. Awful. It also makes me worry a little about the 'new' idea that the gut microbiom affects the brain. It seems like the opposite, but along a similar way of thinking. It was odd encountering that troll and reading this article right after. 

Made a post on fb about my cookbook's page. Some people have already liked it. I also tweeted about it, and posted it to Tumblr. So, I'm getting the word out slowly. I'll eventually get to online forums, emailing both local congregations, and maybe some of the old blogs/journals I had like livejournal. Probably will think of other places after that. 

Navient emailed me last night mentioning the income-based repayment plan as an option. They didn't mention it before, and I've already applied for it. Weird. This morning, they said they had my application. I just have to wait for them to approve it. They seem behind on things. I wish they had mentioned this plan long before. I don't think it's a good deal for them. The idea that at some point everything that's left (whether I wasn't able to pay any of it, or just partially) will be completely forgiven. It'll be like wiping the slate clean, and they wouldn't get that money back. Also, with me not paying anything in the meantime, probably doesn't look good either. (Not that I was before...) Rates won't go up or anything during that time, too. 

I got through most of the 5th level of the Basics in German. I'm flying through it. Like I mentioned before, they're just repeating the same stuff over and over again. At least, I'm looking at it differently than when I first started, and it's a good refresher on the very simple stuff. 

Finished reading the manga, Bokke-san. It was pretty good. I'm not sure if I completely liked the ending. I won't spoil that, but Hino's estranged brother wasn't even mentioned until the last couple of chapters. Yet, he had a rather major role in it. Seemed odd. It was a feel-good ending. Most of the loose ends were tied up, too. I wish it was longer. It's only 18 chapters or 2 volumes. They could have done a lot more with it. That's another thing, it seemed like a rushed ending. 

The only cleaning I got to this time was the cat stuff. Through grooming Rosie with the mitt, her lumps are slowly coming out. They've turned white. They seem to almost be at the point of being able to just pull them off. I won't use the scissors, but it seems like it'll be easier to cut them off now. Her fur feels so nice, soft, and shiny now. I think she likes it a lot, too. 

Inked in Antonio's head from Alliance. Still not happy with it, but thought I should move on. Started drawing Doina's head. Hopefully, she'll turn out better. The vision of her in my head is cool. 

National Taffy Day!

Taffy's a fun summertime candy. A little bit goes a long way, though. Interesting that there's a day devoted to it. 

According to the MyColitis app, I've been having an upper GI bleed the last few days. This goes by the color of the 'evidence'...If it's black, that's apparently what it is. Wahoo! I was scared when I started noticing it a couple of months ago, but it wasn't all the time, so I just shrugged it off. Now it's becoming more frequent. I do feel different than my new 'norm' when I'm like this. Mainly that there's a very strong fire in my stomach and/or near it. It's more than just 'heartburn'. Every time I try to breathe, it makes it worse. If it's true that I have an upper GI bleed, than I have more than the colitis. I might actually have Crohn's. The colon can be affected if you have that, too. Gastros haven't been sure if it was UC or Crohn's, but my first one was leaning towards the latter at the beginning. My stomach and duodenum (little part between the stomach and the small intestines) were slightly affected in that endoscopy at the beginning, too. They say if it were a lower GI bleed, it'd be red with visible blood. That'd be more indicative of UC. It's never been that way. So, that's saying something.

I find this app somewhat enlightening as I update it. Things have been changing in general with my gut according to it. I haven't been as on top of inputting what I eat, but I thought I'd do that with MyFitnessPal. Haven't been using that for the last couple of days, though. With recording what you eat through MyColitis, it has the time, a spot to describe what you had, what your appetite was beforehand, and what were your symptoms afterwards. It's a bit more handy in writing specifics about it. MyFitnessPal breaks down the nutrition facts for everything. That way I'm on top of calories, protein, sodium, etc. (Even how much I drink, which is important as well.) However, I never reach my requirement for things like protein. I barely reach half of it most of the time. I guess I should be keeping track in both apps. I also haven't been recording symptoms in MyColitis. I might have a couple of times when the pain was so bad I couldn't walk, but they want to know the day-to-day ones, too. It has a mood section that I haven't been keeping track of either. I got to get on top of those things. Maybe it'll be easier to see if it's a symptom that's causing the bleed, instead. I don't know. 

Wrote a lot more of Alliance 3 than I expected to. 3 pages this time. For the cookbook, I had to rearrange a few things that I forgot about. Managed to start formatting the ebook version of it, though. It shouldn't take me long. I like when I posted on fb about figuring out the title, someone said to save them a copy. I...don't need to. It'll be on Amazon. They have unlimited copies. Even of the paperback version. It was a little weird, but nice that they were so excited about it. I have a feeling many people will want it. She knew a lot of people. I know both local congregations might be interested in it, most of the family I'm friends with on fb probably will be, and it'll be the same with many of my friends. Some of my friends have met her before, and have said she was a great person. That's a lot of people right there. Those people will hopefully tell others and so on. Maybe it'll become popular. 

It'll be nice to eventually get a paperback version for myself. Much nicer than having the photo album. Easier to read, too. I might actually use it more in that form. If I do, I could take pics of the end results, post them on social media, and use it to promote it more. (Might try to make more of it than I have in the past even before I get my own copy.) If I make an official page on fb, I could have a specific place to do that. I can do a lot more with this book.

Did the entire first level of the German 'arts' lesson. It had 6 parts to it. Each part seemed longer than usual, too. I missed 3 of the questions/exercises. Not bad at all. Apparently, some of their h's are silent. I guess it depends on what letters are near it. I'm so far into it, and slowly have noticed this. Also, in the sports lesson, for ski they write it the same but pronounce it as 'she'. That's the first time I encountered that. Normally, k is pronounced pretty much the way it is in English. So, there's something to it. It was cool to learn about music and other art related words this time. 

Read more of the manga, Bokke-san. The art seems to be getting a little weirder as I go through it. Some people have commented that it's too busy/cluttered and difficult to read. I wonder if this is on purpose. Bokke are considered to be really weird creatures and things are hectic at the moment. They met a frog bokke this time. A really perverted one. He can mess with people by entering mirrors or images of any sort. He had a pic of Hino, reached into the pic, and felt around. Suddenly Hino looked like he was being thrown around and then strangled. Apparently, he could molest girls if he took a pic of them. After fighting him, Hino befriended him. It seems that with almost every bokke he meets now, he befriends them after fighting them. It's weird. Hino just wants to learn more about what he is, not fight.

Got more dusting done in my bedroom. I think it was more dust than last time. Finished the dresser, what was on it, the music stand, the top of a short bookcase near the dresser, and the things on top of that bookcase. Quite a bit. I think my TV was the worst. The only time I use it is to play my Sega Genesis, since it doesn't get cable. It's pretty old, too. Does well for old video games. I haven't played those in over a year, though. At least, it's clean now. I was surprised by how dusty the stand was. I haven't played my clarinet in a while, that might be why. I keep forgetting to get it recorked.

Finished drawing Tzvi's head/bust from Alliance. I'm still not completely happy with it. Oh well. I'll ink it tomorrow, and start drawing Antonio next. That should be interesting. Antonio's one of the few humans in the story. 

Watched 2 more episodes of the Rain last night. They're shorter episodes than I expected. Also, it was too warm to go on a walk, so I watched another episode instead. It's interesting. There seems to be a lot of quarreling within the group, and a bit more angst than there needs to be. I think I'm starting to like it. 

2nd of Sivan

Woke up at around the time I wanted to. Yay! Hadn't for the last couple of days because of the heat. It's a lot cooler today, which has been nice. 

I've been thinking about that lunch we had on Sunday with someone Dad knew and her daughter. I might be thinking more about it because of the meeting tonight. I think the daughter might have been a truscum. (Side note: I'm not calling them 'scum'. This is actually the word used for someone like this. There isn't a good alternative.) Truscums are also referred to as transmedicalists. (I could use this instead, I suppose...) They believe that in order to be trans you must have dysphoria, and must be transitioning in some way medically. There's an added layer to it, too. They use terms like 'transtrender' and 'appropriating transness' often. They try to exclude non-binary people, too. They're essentially gatekeepers. They might use similar terms and rhetoric that TERFs do. A TERF is a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Not really feminists, but they take up that banner. There was a comic posted on one of the trans pages I follow on fb that illustrate what a transmedicalist really is in much more detail. Apparently, they are mostly on Tumblr, but there's a small minority offline. 

Anyways, towards the beginning of that lunch, she said she hated the 'transtrenders' and how some people think being trans is cool. She seemed to also think some genders were 'fake'. Then, she said they don't realize that in order to be trans, you must have been bullied in school. I spoke up, saying that I didn't know what I was and tried my best to fit in with the girls. So, I wasn't bullied because of it. That seemed to stop her in her tracks for a moment. She seemed excited to talk about gender dysphoria. I thought it would be cool to talk to another enby (she's genderfluid) about it, but I wasn't ecstatic about it. Then, she went into a lot more detail than I expected, especially while we were eating. Things like wondering what it'd be like to have a penis...She kind of threw me off when she told me not to get a 'man bun'. First, it threw me off because I'm not a guy. Secondly, telling me not to is a bit odd. It's not like I said I liked that look. Plus, even if I did, she couldn't stop me from doing it. Her mom might have been enby as well from the emails she sent to my dad. However, both the mom and daughter looked really feminine. While I get the daughter is genderfluid...it was odd. Dad said the daughter had a totally different look in the past. Something was off about the whole thing. I couldn't place it at the time. It still feels like there was more to it. If she is a transmedicalist, it's even weirder for an enby to be one. I have read that some believe that genderfluid and agender people are 'real' trans people, and they're not enby. Especially if they're transitioning medically. They feel that genderfluid and agender people make sense, and the others don't. (Sounds bizarre to me...) Ok, if you don't understand something, it must automatically not be real? So, as an example, languages you don't 'get' aren't real? It's really messed up thinking. As is how TERFs think. Maybe transmedicalist are really TERFs in disguise trying to tear the trans community apart? There are gatekeepers in the ace community, too. TERFs have issues with aces and aros, as well. Apparently, they're the ones pushing the 'queer is a slur and people shouldn't reclaim it for themselves' thing, too. Like, the person's identity is offensive to them. They really have their tentacles in a lot of things. She didn't really post much on her fb page, but I thought it'd be best to block her. I don't want to associate with someone like that. 

Managed to write a little more of Alliance 3. It's been a while, and I'm glad I was able to get to it. I reworded some things for the cookbook. Also, wanted to change my 'source list' to a bibliography, but realized I don't really have enough info for most of them to make a proper one. I'm kind of a stickler to not doing a half-baked looking bibliography. So, I'll leave it as a 'source list'. At least it'll be there. I also started looking at the layout/template of some of the cookbooks I have. I don't think mine's all that different compared to the ones without pics. I'll look at a few more next time. There's one more thing I want to make sure of, too. After that, I'll start formatting it for both the ebook and print versions. I probably should come up with a title before I do that...Then, I'll look through pics I've taken of what I've made from that album, and pick one for the front cover. Unsure if I'll pick another one for the back cover of the print version, or just have a black background. 

Finished the German lesson from yesterday, as well as the math one. Got halfway through the banking one. There was only one part to the math one. It was really simple. The banking one has been a bit odd, but there's only 2 parts to it. I'm close to the next checkpoint/section on the trek, which I just realized is the last one. After finishing that, I'll go back through it all and level them out. There are 5 levels to each lesson. I'm running through it after finishing the first level at the moment. They started that leveling system when I was about halfway to where I am now. If it had started out like that, I might have leveled them out fully as I went through it. 

Managed to get some cleaning done, too. I vacuumed my bedroom's ceiling. I don't think I've done that before. I might have used the swiffer a little at the edges in the past, though. It was a real upper body workout. (Arms are still hurting.) The only spot I didn't get to was the center. I was a little weary of vacuuming it, because it's a popcorn ceiling. I thought I'd knock off all those little pieces, but I didn't. I didn't think the ceiling was cleaner until I turned out my overhead light and turned on a lamp. The cobwebs were completely gone. It seems like a cleaner and whiter color now, too. I also windexed my mirror. It's not a full length, but it is big. It's on top of my dresser, so in order to clean it well I have to get on top of my chair. I'm too short otherwise...It had been a long time since I last cleaned it. There might have been some dust on it while I used the windex. That might be why it seemed blurrier after wiping it off. It seems better now. Certainly better than before I cleaned it. Next, I'll dust the furniture/wood, desktop computer, printer, and miscellaneous other things. That might take a while, and I forgot about getting Endust. It still can be done without it. Just won't be as nice smelling and seemingly as clean. After that, I'll finally get to vacuuming my floor.

Read more of Bokke-san. I think the style reminds me of En Passant or Anagle Mole? It's weird that it seems so familiar. It's an odd style. Apparently Hino is a cat bokke or cat G-d. They refer to them as G-ds, because there isn't really a being like them and it's easier. It explains why he sprouts cat ears and paws when he transforms. These cat bokke, in the past, were known to leap over valleys, and slash mountains with their claws. That's cool. They met an ice-based bokke that explained more of what Hino is. He attacked them first, though. He found a book at the library that was all about the bokke. The pic for the cat one was naked, but facing away and hunched over. One of the weirdest poses in the book. They haven't shown Hino with a tail yet, but the one in the pic had one. 

Watched more of Mystic Whispers last night. There are only a couple more episodes left, so only one more ghost they'll help. From the preview, it seems like it's a ghost of someone that one of the main characters knew. Of course, they'll have a more personal one for last. 

Watched more of Black Clover. They ended up saving the kidnapped kids in the mountain, but the crazy scientist that wants to study Asta's body started attacking them. She's annoying. 

Also, watched more of the 2nd of Saiki Kusuo no Psi-nan. There was a lot of English in this one. Not said, but written down. It surprised me. The first part with that was Kusuo's brother planned a birthday game for him. Every clue was in English. It wasn't broken up and the grammar was correct. That's a bit rare with anime. I know that his brother lives in England, but it still was surprising. His birthday present to Kusuo was fireworks that read out: Happy Birthday, Kusuo! The next part with quite a bit of English was when Kusuo's father was critiquing a mangaka's idea for another manga. Every speech bubble was in English. So weird. 

Watched another episode of One Piece, too. They showed a bit of what happened with the other crew members. They were told to go to a nearby island when they were being attacked on the water by 2 enemies. I wonder how the crew at Dressrosa will meet up with the ones on another island, if their ship is at that other island as well. Maybe the previous king will give them a temporary ship. However, the navigator, Nami, is with the group that went to the island. I guess we'll see. Kaido showed himself, too. He had a business relationship with Doflamingo aka Joker. He's apparently always trying to kill himself. Even the marines have tried to kill him numerous times. He didn't know yet about Joker's defeat. It should be interesting to see his reaction. He looks a lot more powerful.

24th of Iyar

It was another slightly warmer day than expected. It's close to 70 degrees right now. Perfect temp. Seems like it'll be cool enough for a walk after dinner. I, again, didn't get to my after dinner walk yesterday. It was too warm out. Plus, we went out late to get dessert. 

Dad got a few Xfinity internet pods. They help with spreading the connection to other parts of the house. Supposedly, my room had the weakest signal. Yay! It was pretty bad really anywhere upstairs. Whenever I wanted to watch something, I switched off the wifi on my phone, which wasn't the best solution. Now there's a pod in my room, near the kitchen, and I think in my mom's office. Even though there's one in my room, my desktop first connected with the one in the kitchen...I guess that pod is straight down from my desktop. Shorter distance that way? The connection has been much better than usual today. So, it's working. I thought the difficulty with connecting to the internet was my desktop, not that there was too weak of a signal. It would go for months at a time without being able to connect at all. Thus, why I had a difficult time blogging more often. This is an awesome improvement. Maybe I could watch things on my desktop again, too. Haven't been able to for a long time. When I publish my books, that process should go a lot faster with this. 

Wrote more of Alliance 3. Made a source list for all the ones mentioned in the cookbook. There are 53 sources. Quite a bit. Some of those are from family members and friends. According to the ones that had the dates recorded, she was collecting them from 1966 until 2001. 35 years! So long! Really like a time capsule. Even the most recent ones were a while ago. I have a feeling she stopped right around the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She already had a lot of recipes, but it feels like it might have had some role. A lot of them are from the early 80's. A lot from Texas. 

Started the animal lesson for German. I probably could have finished it, but lunch took a longer time than expected. I did gain enough points to be counted for the day. I might go back and finish it if I have time later. The words for animals are interesting. I could tell where some of the roots for the English words came from. The word for squirrel is very different. Much longer than most of the others I learned today. How they say owl is cute in a way. I've missed 2 so far in that lesson. One was just a really weird sentence, but I did understand it. With the other mistake, I wasn't familiar with the word yet, and they didn't let me see the meaning of it beforehand. Not too bad.

Started reading a manga called Bokke-san. This one's only 18 chapters. However, at least with the first chapter, it was about 60 pages long. Longer than most for manga. It probably comes out to medium length that way, if all of them are like that. The art reminded me of another manga or anime. I just can't place which one specifically...It's about Hinomiya or Hino for short, who ever since he saved someone as a little kid with his powers, has stopped talking completely. He became close friends with the one he saved that day, Sayu. He usually helps her with his supernatural power. (Usually to trick other people.) One day, a woman's murdered by a 'bokke', and her daughter manages to escape and runs to Sayu's place. Where Hino just so happened to be visiting. While fighting them, he transforms and realizes he's a bokke, too. He started talking again after the villains left. When he transformed, he had ears and what looked like cat or dog paws. Kind of cute. How the mom died was really gruesome. Interesting how dark the story actually is, but they throw cuteness, quirkiness, and humor in the mix. My kind of manga. 

I managed to dust my bathroom with a swiffer wand. There wasn't much this time. What I did find, I think I just didn't reach last time. I thought I'd have time to use Endust on the wood in that room, but the dusting took longer than I expected. Usually, after using the Endust, it smells amazing! A nice citrusy smell. Makes the wood shine, too. I'll just do that tomorrow. 

Finished inking Nico. Started drawing Rakesh's head. Should be interesting to see how he turns out. After I ink him, I'll post Ravel, Nico, and Rakesh to dA and Instagram. That should be soon.

The only other thing I didn't get to last night was watching Mystic Whispers on Netflix. That's ok. I watched the most current episode of Black Clover. I'm liking this one more with each episode. Asta's yelling seems to either have been lessened or I've gotten more used to it. The other characters of Black Bull are quite eccentric and interesting. All of them have something 'off' about them. I like the idea that the main character, Asta, doesn't have magic, but everyone else does. He has the ability of anti-magic. Something that can cancel any type of magic. In that world, that's a powerful thing to have. His sword is cool. He's also physically extremely strong. He feels he has to make up for not having magic, so he trains his body as much as he can. At first, he thought if he trained hard enough, he'll suddenly gain magic. His 'clover' spell book is a 5-clover, which is unheard of. Probably because it just has anti-magic 'spells'. Wouldn't that still be magic? They still haven't explained that part well. 

Watched Saiki Kusuo, and it just keeps getting better. The only issue I had was they seemed to talk faster than usual in this episode. They usually talk fast...Apparently one of the newer characters is lesbian, which is cool. She has a crush on Teruhashi who has a crush on Kusuo. Teruhashi is the most popular person at school, calls herself the most beautiful girl in the world, and always has a literal golden 'glow' around her. 

Watched an episode of One Piece last night, too. Zoro won his fight in an epic way. So, now there are only 2 executives left. Both of which Luffy and Law are fighting. However, Luffy's being stalled by Bellamy who suddenly decided to attack him. Bellamy was betrayed by Doflamingo. He also has felt that Luffy never took him seriously. So, he wants to fight him even though he's already so beat up, he'll most likely die in another fight. He's kind of pathetic at this point. He could have channeled that energy into fighting Doflamingo with Luffy and Law. Trebol is at Doflamingo's side. Another annoying one to get rid of. He ate the snot devil fruit. He's disgusting, even just to look at. Just oozing with mucus. Doflamingo ate the wire devil fruit. His is a lot cooler and deadlier.