10th of Adar

Rosie, my cat, passed away the week before yesterday during the night. My parent thinks it wasn’t long after we went to bed. She might have had a stroke that morning, and she had at least 2 seizures during the day. I think she had more than just a stroke. The last couple of weeks she seemed to be declining and almost like she tried to prepare for it. I thought she was sleeping in the morning when I had breakfast. (She wasn’t facing me.) She was in the living room. She probably was having a seizure then. She seemed confused/frustrated that she couldn’t get up and move around. She moved a little bit. She kept reaching out to us. We assured her we were there. That night we had her favorite music playing, a light on, and a towel over her since she seemed cold. Tried to have her as comfortable as possible. I stroked her forehead before saying good night. I thought she’d still be with us in the morning. I wasn’t really ready for her to leave us.

We got her close to my birthday (it’s on November 7th), like a day later, in 2010 from the shelter. We were told she was around 3 years old. She had a good long life. She was my baby. I already miss her a lot. At least she’s not suffering.

I posted on most of my socials about it. Most of them seemed to have the reaction I expected. Which was great to see. It was comforting a bit. However, it seemed to explode on Threads. Last time I looked, it had 740 likes, 21 comments, 1 repost, and 2.5K views. I’ve never had such a reaction to a post.

She still had food in her bowl, and suddenly it was gone. Supposedly neither of us threw it out. It just was gone. A little creepy. Maybe she was hungry… A couple of days before that Sunday, she had moved a pillow from the sectional in the living room to near her carrier, on top of her peacock feather. (It might have fallen off, and she could have pushed it to that spot.) It was weird, and I’m not sure why she did it. We left it there for a while. It spooked me occasionally, because it looked like her from the corner of my eye. Sometimes it looked like she was staring at me in her carrier. A little later my parent threw her towel over the carrier and put the pillow away. That helped. Also, it feels like another mourning ritual. Every time I walk in the living room for my indoor walks, it reminds me of it. I feel weird stepping on/near the spot she passed away on.

We lit a yahrzeit candle for her and recited the mourner’s kaddish. She wasn’t human, but felt like we should do something. They have souls, too. She was very loved. I think we did that for most of our pets. I don’t remember doing it for Tasha, but maybe we did.

We got her ashes today. They had her paw print along with it. They didn’t do that for our other pets. I’m not sure how I feel about it. The ashes are in a bigger ‘casket’ looking box. The name plate was separate. It only has her name. They didn’t ask what we wanted on it this time, either. Maybe we could put stuff on it ourselves. We were thinking of ‘The Most Interesting Cat in the World’. Probably have the dates, too. Might be too long, I don’t know. They also have a brochure on grief, and mention a special phone number to talk about the grief of losing a pet specifically. That would be interesting.

I finally called Apria last Wednesday. I kept putting it off because I was nervous. I had to pay for the first month of having the new bed, though. It’s a month today. I wanted to use the benefits card, but they wouldn’t let me. It would have been better if that had worked. At least I was able to pay it. It was only $20.69. I’m also nervous about when I switch to being fully on Medicaid. I don’t know what they’ll do. Maybe Medicaid will pay for the rest of it.

I’m taking gabapentin twice a day right now. One of the things I’ve noticed is I feel happier and like I don’t care/worry about things. I feel a little guilty for feeling happy right now. I’m not noticing much of a change with the pain. I have a hard time going to sleep, but once I am, I’m out cold. (Most of the time.) I don’t wake up like I did before during the night. I think it’s related. I’ll start taking 3 pills this next Friday.

I saw that I got a message from Social Security recently. I was too nervous to read it online. Apparently, the letter from them came in the next day’s mail. It’s about them taking around $96 from what they pay me each month through ssi. They said they’ll start that in April’s paycheck. It’s been a while, and for the last few months it’s been the normal amount. I don’t know why they waited so long to do it. They said I could appeal it. It’s too much for me to deal with. That’s probably what they’d expect from me. They base it on if it’s unfair to you and if it’s a hardship. It is unfair, but not a hardship.

Started a ‘project’ with Spotify. I got the app in order to listen to the Universal Yums playlist for the month. They have a ton of songs with their Turkey or Türkiye playlist. Songs that are traditional and some new stuff, too. Very interesting. Anyways, they post all their playlists on there. After exploring Spotify for a while, I decided to go through music from each decade. I started with what they suggested, which wasn’t very good. I looked more into it, and found All Out decade playlists. They’re much better, accurate, and much longer. I started over with them. They only go back to the 50s on Spotify. I would have started it with earlier decades. Would have been even more interesting. I’ve gotten to the 90s so far. I’m getting a lot for my faves playlist. Should be interesting to see what it’s like when I finish it. Oh, and I got their individual premium. It's not bad. There are no ads this way, and I can listen to how I want to. Like, it doesn't have to be on shuffle. It'll be free for a month.  

I decided to stop going to see a podiatrist just to get my toenails clipped. I decided to try to get pedicures without the nail polish instead. I think my big toenails might be a little difficult, but they’re getting close to looking normal. I can see if they could do them along with the other toenails. Those I think would be easy for them. I’ll go with my parent to one soon. I think it’ll be a lot better for me to get it done there. It was more of a hassle with the podiatrist. They also don’t take Molina or any Medicaid. I’d have to use that since it’s out-of-network. At least when I completely switch over to Medicaid. I think Kaiser Permanente does have someone that does it for you, but it’s very expensive. (From what I’ve heard.) They supposedly do it at your home. I want to see what the people at the nail place will do. It might feel even better. I’ll email my primary care doctor about it. I’ll see what she has to say.

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26th of Shevat

Having the new hospital bed in my room has been interesting. The remote actually has a clip to hook over the rails. I don’t have to have it at my side all the time. The old one didn’t have a clip and would easily fall. Had to sleep with it. It feels weird to not have to do that now.

I got 2 new calendars. One that’s Jewish, and the secular one features places from around the world. We think the one that features places has Amsterdam for this month. The houses are similar to the one’s there.

I kept getting hot flashes and had to open the windows in my room. It got pretty chilly in there. It was weird to feel so hot when it was so cold outside.

I had my first bed bath with it on 2/13. I didn’t really trust the water coming from the bathtub, so I got some downstairs, and slowly went back up the stairs. I poured it out in the tub afterwards to make it easier to go down the stairs with. The dust bunnies went everywhere, but it did go down the drain. I did the bed bath after lunch instead of right after brushing my teeth in the morning. I think it was the perfect time. I did that for the other times since then. Most of the time since then it’s ended up being 40 min-45 min to do everything. (A little bit less time last time I did it.) That’s not too bad considering I was by myself. The last couple of times, there wasn’t any wet spots. Yay! I ran out of lotion last Monday. I quickly ordered more that day. With my most recent bed bath, I had to go without the lotion. At least I got clean. It’s just my skin got a bit drier afterwards. I got it tonight. 

I waited a while, but my next Universal Yums box was stuck on the pre-shipping phase. I sent an email to them about it. They replied back only a few minutes later. (It was much faster than expected!) They were sorry that it looked like they lost it. How do you lose something like that? They quickly sent a replacement box free of charge (I paid for the one they lost, so it should be like that) after that email. They said it’ll be on Türkiye or Turkey. That’s interesting. They sent another email on a Turkish recipe for karnıyarık. It’s for a savory stuffed eggplant. I hate eggplant. Maybe if it was hidden I’d try it. They even had tips for what to look for when picking a fresh eggplant, and on Turkish olive oil. They prefer Turkish olive oil. Should be interesting to see what snacks they have. Probably would be different than Treats was. I think they mainly look for things with multiple servings, which is great to me. Apparently, I got 2 boxes from them tonight. (I just got them, so I don’t know what’s in them yet.) They must have found the ‘lost’ one.

My parent was gone last Monday through Friday. She went to a NASP convention. They go to a different place every year. This time it was in Seattle. I heard she met a lot of people she hadn’t seen in a while. She also broke her glasses. She went with an Uber there, and came back in one. 

Rosie has been super clingy since she was gone. She already was before, but even more so now. She’s been resting under my new bed as I’m on it throughout the day. There’s a pretty big area back there. She’s been peeing a lot on the puppy pads. She’s been going through them like water. We got more on Saturday. It takes a lot out of me to do them. I was giving her the insulin shots. Sometimes it was earlier than usual. I didn’t know if she was going to run away later, so I did it when I saw her just before making breakfast and before my dinner. Her usual is after those meals. There was one night where I didn’t see her downstairs until my last snack. A little late, but I did it. I think I was doing it right. I didn’t feel any wetness or smell it in those spots. She seemed wobbly at one point where she tripped over her legs. She was ok after a minute, though. I didn’t think she needed sugar or anything with that. She’s been lying on the hard linoleum floor in the kitchen sometimes. I don’t know why she does that. She has food, water, and the pads have been taken care of. Sometimes I’m making something, so it sort of makes sense. Other times I’m not. Weird. She’s been sitting/lying down really close to me as I eat, too. Sometimes so close, she’s under my chair. Hopefully, she’ll go back to normal, since my parent’s home now.

I decided to order groceries online Friday night, since my parent’s glasses broke. I thought it would not be good for her to drive. Found everything except for the usual desserts, my toothpaste, and a med. Still had to go out for those things Saturday. That’s also when we got more puppy pads for Rosie. My parent decided to wear her bent glasses while driving, since she could still see that way.

Last week I had a chocolate chip cookie sandwich with cream in the middle. It was from the new bakery area at a local market. It seemed over-the-top, and a great way to celebrate things. I could only get through half of it. They also had a red velvet and champagne cake. It was combined, and interesting.

A couple of days ago (in the morning), after brushing my teeth, there was a lot of red stuff that I spat out along with the toothpaste. I didn’t eat anything with a red color. I didn’t feel pain in my mouth, and didn’t see any blood from my gums. The only thing out of place was last night I noticed a hard/spiky spot on the roof of my mouth. It disappeared pretty quickly. I don’t think it had anything to do with it. So, what was it? I’ll see if it does it again.

I enrolled all 5 of my ebooks on Smashwords to their annual Read an Ebook Week promo. I set them to free. I seem to get more ‘bites’ when they’re free. It’ll be from March 2nd-March 8th. I put up a notice about it on my socials. I doubt anyone will care on those. I’ll still post about it on March 2nd.

Last week was Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. I didn’t see anything new and interesting on facebook for it. Seems like everyone’s quiet about it this year. Maybe they’re scared.

I posted a selfie on my socials. I haven’t taken a selfie in a long time. I also wanted to compare previous selfies to see how much my ‘moon face’ has gone down. (A steroid made that happen.) I think it’s pretty much gone. I had a couple weird responses. One person, on Tumblr, said they looked at my profile and my selfie and they want to make a mural based on it. Saying I’m their muse. They said they’ll pay me $500 for it. I quickly blocked them. That was just bizarre. On Twitter, someone mentioned me. Apparently they said they were ‘inspired’ by my selfie and drew/painted me. It looked awful. The other people he did that to and was inspired looked awful, too. The original selfies were much better. Good it’s not just me. I don’t like that they did that without my permission, but it doesn’t violate Twitter’s rules. Although, he also had drawings of naked men. Some with rabbit heads. It was creepy. Another little surprising thing was a comment on facebook. Saying my skin is perfection, with hearts for eyes emoji. I think I should take it as a compliment, but I’m not used to that. At least it wasn’t like that person on Twitter.

It’s been raining heavily lately and windy. It’s supposed to get even windier tonight and Tuesday. The temperature has been warmer than usual, too. Warm, but stormy. Weird combo.

I finally cooked again Sunday night. It was One Pot Chili Mac and Cheese. From another pin on Pinterest. I don’t know if I rinsed the beans correctly. It turned out great, though. I thought there wouldn’t be enough liquid, but the pasta was perfectly done. There were a lot of leftovers, but that just means more lunches/dinners during the week.

Had a phone appointment today with my primary care doctor. I wasn’t expecting it. I had a notice telling me to do a pre-check in. I looked at my appointments, and there was also one to see someone in oncology (one I don’t know) in April. No one told me about it. I don’t like when they ‘decide’ for me.

Anyways, my doctor said she created the phone appointment today. She wanted to talk to me right away. She had just talked to Dr. Slack about my pain. He might think I’m still in palliative care (pc), which I’m not.

She went over 3 options for pain. The first one was to go to a certain specialist (I don’t remember what she called them), choosing between 2 different places in Seattle. They’ll insert a pain pump. Seattle’s a long haul. I don’t want to go all the way out there. It also sounds a little scary. The second option is to switch to methadone. I’d have to get off of morphine. The third option was to try gabapentin. That would work together with the morphine. She said the morphine deals more with bone pain, and gabapentin deals with nerve pain. I chose the third option. I think I’ve tried gabapentin before. (I could be wrong. We might have just talked about it.) It was back when they thought I had fibromyalgia. In reality, I probably was experiencing symptoms of my cancer. If I took it, I don’t remember how it affected me. She said there’s either 100 mg or 300 mg capsules. She’s going to try a stronger dose for me to start with. It’ll be the 300 mg. There’s more wiggle room to work with as well. Like, the max is higher than some others. She said I should probably start with it at night, since it might make me sleepy. It might also make me dizzy, unsteady on my feet, or trouble thinking/brain fog. She’ll order this along with okaying my next morphine refill. She wants me to talk to her again in 3 weeks over the phone. Just to see how it’s going. Hopefully, this will work. The other options sound intense, and again, scary. 

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14th of Shevat

It’s been a while. This whole past week was weird. I was supposed to get my hospital bed last Monday (on 2/3), and they were also supposed to ‘pick up’ my old hospital bed that day. The weather was really awful. We had gotten some snow and ice. It was so bad, my parent said the schools she works for were closed. The Apria driver did call me about postponing it, considering it was so bad out. He said he’d call me on Tuesday at around 9am or 9:30am. I never heard from him after that. The weather was bad for most of the week. Schools were closed most of week, except for Friday. That was a 2 hour delay. I have a feeling they didn’t call because of the weather. It was forecast to be really cold out this week. Not much snow in the forecast. It was ridiculous to be waiting so long. Especially with no word from them.

On Monday, they called me at around 12:30pm. I was going to call them after I had lunch. So, perfect timing. They had apparently called my parent just before me. I have her as my emergency contact. They have my info, but for some reason they’ve contacted my parent instead. It’s weird. It was like that with the previous bed. Anyways, they finally did it. They attached some of the old bed parts to the new one, which was interesting. The new one’s fully electric. Different than last time. Just a press of a button to have the whole thing go up and down. There was a crank with the old one. The family room looks really empty downstairs now. My bedroom looks more ‘busy’. I managed to get the hospital table where I wanted it. Parent helped a lot with bringing it upstairs. I almost had to throw it in my room. I can still get to the closet with it. Should be interesting to see what it’s like for bed baths. The bed itself is pretty comfy. 

I still need to dust more in my room. I wasn’t really using it as my room for close to 5 years. A little weird to get back to. I’ll vacuum it more and go through my clothes and other things. Hopefully I'll have the energy to do stuff like that. 

I ordered calendars last night. The previous calendars were stuck on December 2020. I got the Jewish calendar this afternoon. That’s pretty fast. It’s from the same museum that did my previous Jewish calendars. They showcase a different artifact (sometimes 2) a month. I don’t like the new packaging. They went without plastic with a slight overhang. I had to cut that off. They still have the Torah portions or parsha, phases of the moon, Shabbos lighting times, National and Jewish holidays (I think they even have things like Ramadan as well), and more. It’s usually a nice calendar. Last night, I also searched for a secular calendar. I was planning to get a chemical element one, like I had last time. That was a really cool one. Apparently they stopped making them in 2023. I looked for an herbs/spices one, which I had before. Nothing. Then I did a generalized search. They had a Pusheen calendar. I had one in the past and liked it. The problem was it wouldn’t get here until March, and I want it sooner. I was surprised with the sample that they even had Shavuot on there. That’s kind of rare for secular calendars. I found one that was called Passport to the World. It has pics of places from around the world. I think I had a calendar in the past with the same company. They’re French. They have French, Spanish, and English for everything. It might have pretty pics. I think that’s supposed to be delivered on Friday.

I also might look into getting a clock for my room. I already have an idea of where I’ll put it. I’d like it to not tick. I’m a little nervous about how to put it up on the wall. Maybe my parent can help me. I just want a simple one. I’m going to have to get rid of my stereo at some point. It doesn’t really work anymore.

My little TV is old (I think I got it just before I went to college in 2003), and it only plays my old Sega Genesis games. All the other channels don’t work. I want a new nice and small TV. I’ll take down my ace flag, and put it up there. Maybe have a sound bar underneath it. Maybe eventually get a game console with games. I think my parent got a Playstation for us, but it would be interesting to have something like that in my room as well. She can play with me, too. I have some ideas for the future in my room. It seems fun that way.

The Saturday before that Monday (the day I was supposed to get the bed) the Got Junk people came by. They were supposed to be here at 11am, but they came at like 10:30am. They took my bed, the headboard, and the stuff that was under the bed. I was nervous to know what was under there. I thought there would be like a ton of spiders, mice, or Rosie’s poop. None of that craziness. I found my certificate from when I ‘graduated’ from swimming lessons as a kid. Found a few of Rosie’s toys. She must have brought them there. I saved her fave big yellow ball and ladybug plush toy. It’s kind of an angry looking ladybug. I saw my old posters. There was a wooden slab. My desk used to be made of 2 short blue bookcases and a wooden slab/plank over it. I have a real one now. I think what I have now was my mom’s. I certainly didn’t need that huge piece of wood anymore. I’m glad they took most of it away. My parent, on Friday (I think), vacuumed the area that was underneath. There were a lot of dust bunnies and small pieces of debris. Now it’s even better. I didn’t have the energy by then to vacuum it myself. We had it ready for a while this way.

Last Saturday I also had a haircut appointment. I was worried the Got Junk people would take so long that I’d have to cancel it. Luckily, they were quick. They were done before around 11am. I got another buzzcut. A little cold for right now, but it’s so easy to take care of. I had a lot of grey or white hairs. Kind of surprised me. Yet again, she didn’t charge me. She does it because she feels that’s what she can do to help me. When she found out I had cancer, that’s how she felt about it. I feel guilty about it sometimes.

Afterwards, we went to Isla Bonita for lunch. I got their burrito blanco. One of my faves at other Mexican places, so I wanted to see what theirs was like. It was very good. Leftovers made for another great lunch.

After that we went to Starbucks. (I think we went home in between.) Apparently my parent had lost her wallet. The Apple Pay wasn’t working, so I paid for everything. A little difficult for me, considering I don’t get much through ssi.

After that we went to Walmart. I needed a surge protector and my parent needed Tums. I bought both of them, since Apple Pay didn’t work there. I needed the surge protector for my new all electric hospital bed, iPhone charger, and watch charger. The other outlet is for my lamp on my nightstand. So, it was another thing to prepare for the new bed. I’m surprised the iPhone charger works as well. It’s pretty old, but I haven’t used it in a long time. Hopefully it’ll work for a while. I think we might have gone to Petco, too. Rosie needed more cat litter. Apple Pay did eventually work there.

I tried to take a cramp med that my parent gave me during the week. Did it for 3 nights, and didn’t have any cramps those nights. It might interact with my other meds, so I decided to have it when I have cramps at night. That hasn’t happened yet. I’m unsure if it’s safe for me to take on a regular basis.

We decided to go out on Thursday. Kind of felt stir crazy. We went to Starbucks again, which I think I paid for it again. (We tried the Apple Pay again, and it didn’t work.) I tried one of their new sandwiches: pesto egg and mozzarella. It was really hot at first. It was good. The gingerbread latte wasn’t as great as I expected.

We went to Safeway for dinner stuff, and Central Market that night for dessert stuff. I think I got broccoli chicken Alfredo. I got a fruit tart for dessert from their new bakery area. My parent was able to use Apple Pay at both places. Thank goodness. I went through the self checkout and I had to tilt the fruit tart at a weird angle. It made some of the fruit pieces slide off.

We went to the Olive Garden for dinner Friday night. They actually had Apple Pay, and my parent had no problems with it. I got chicken and gnocchi soup, fettuccine Alfredo with broccoli, and tiramisu for dessert. There wasn’t enough gnocchi in the soup. I think I had like 3 in the whole thing. There was way too much broccoli in the fettuccine Alfredo. Like more than a head’s worth. The tiramisu was frozen in parts. Once I thought the cream/custard was like ice cream, it was better. Had half of the fettuccine Alfredo with broccoli and had the leftovers for lunch on Saturday. It seemed like quite a lot still.

Did weekly grocery shopping at Central Market on Saturday. Parent found some decent bananas. I got 2 dinners and 2 desserts. One being a broccoli and cheddar quiche, and the other dinner their mac and cheese. I had half of the mac and cheese Saturday night. Got a hazelnut chocolate cupcake from their new bakery area, and a cherry pie slice. The cupcake that night was a bit weird. The frosting/nuts/chocolate syrup was good, but the cake part had like an herb. I couldn’t place it. I got tired of having the oatmeal cookies, and got snickerdoodles this time. We also got hot dark chocolate. We still have small marshmallows, so why not?

Went to Safeway on Sunday. There’s a new flavor of the cereal I get. I normally get the maple pecan Honey Bunches of Oats. It’s one of the few cereals that doesn’t turn into tasting like sand. The new flavor is chocolate Honey Bunches of Oats. I thought about it. It would only be 3 more grams of sugar. I decided to get my usual, but I might try the new one soon. For a dinner, I got grilled chicken with green beans and mashed potatoes. It also has some garlic and herb butter. I added BBQ sauce to the chicken and the butter mostly on the green beans. I got tiramisu cake for dessert. There was a big one that was like 500 calories, and the one I got was 210 calories. I don’t need a lot. The chicken with BBQ sauce (it was one I haven’t had before) was really good, same with the rest of it. The cake is probably tasty, too.

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28th of Tevet

I managed to cook again on January 18th! (I do want to try to cook every Saturday.) Yay! I wanted something with sausage that time. The recipe was also from a pin on Pinterest called Cheesy Kielbasa Pasta. I had to tweak it quite a bit. They were out of beef kielbasa, so I used beef smoked sausage. It was 12 oz instead of a pound, too. I think it was plenty. I used more of the prepared diced onion from the week before. That cooked to basically nothing just like the dinner the week before. I added a lot more garlic. Added twice the amount of Italian seasoning, because I used regular canned diced tomatoes instead of Italian style diced tomatoes. I think it just needed more seasonings and garlic to match it. I used regular chicken broth instead of reduced-sodium. There was also milk, penne pasta, a little black pepper, and shredded cheese. They had the exact combo mentioned for the cheese, and it was also exactly 2 cups which was what it called for. At the end, they have you add salt and more pepper to taste. I didn’t need more salt because of the regular chicken broth. Added just a little more pepper, though. It ended up really good. Nice and flavorful. According to the recipe it made 6 servings. Like the last thing I made, I did my own 6 servings. I just was giving myself whatever amount I wanted. The last serving was just a little less than the rest, but that’s ok. I like that I was close with it. It was pretty much the same that week.

I was sick starting on last week’s Monday and Sunday night. I couldn’t sleep very well the night before Monday. Just before I went to bed, Sunday night, I checked my temperature. It was at 100.3°F. I had a sore throat, too. I checked my temperature in the morning the next day and it was 100.9°F. So, it was still going up. At some point, I was really sweating and couldn’t get comfortable. I checked it again just before lunch, and it was down to 98.8°F. My norm is around 96.6°F. I was getting there. I don’t know how I got sick. I try to be aware of when I go out somewhere. It’s kind of rare for me to get sick like this. I still feel a little sick. My throat still gets sore occasionally. Cough drops kind of helped. I’ve stopped having them on a regular basis. Got more just in case. Managed to feel good enough to really get to my bed bath today. I also didn’t do my walks most of the time I was really sick. Didn’t make anything on Saturday night. Still felt sick enough I couldn’t do it. I looked at and decided on 3 more interesting possible recipes for the next few Saturdays. So, I did something about it.

I finally got something from Social Security. I think they approved me to continue with it. However, they’ll take about $98 from what they pay me, because they say they overpaid me. It was every month’s amount they were giving me. I think they did it because I didn’t know something was a ‘resource’. I was never asked about it either, until they saw it. They said I can try to get a waiver. If I do, there are 2 things to it: it has to feel unfair, and a hardship. It does feel unfair, but it’s not really a hardship. I got ssi in order to get healthcare. (I can appeal it, but it’s kind of a long process.) It’s weird that they’ll also be increasing the pay most people get this year. I think they’ll pay me next at the end of the month. At least I still have it.

Today, I did 4 or 5 lessons on Duolingo’s Spanish course. Finished all 3 quests for the day. Finished this month’s challenge/quest a while ago. I’m in the Diamond League now. It’s like their highest league. I was in it last week as well. I wasn’t able to be promoted. I was 13th in it at the end. (If you’re promoted you go into a Diamond League tournament.)  I ended up at 1st place today. Maybe I’ll be promoted this time? I’m impressed, because it’s such a competitive league. 

Started watching (a week from last Sunday) Connected. The 1st episode was on surveillance. How we watch everything, and what it teaches us. It wasn’t a bad thing. Very interesting. I started watching the new season of The UnXplained with William Shatner this Sunday. When I’m done with that, I’ll go back to Connected. I decided a while back that Sundays I’ll watch documentary/non-fiction/other shows. That’s been interesting.

We went to Central on Sunday. Yesterday we went to Petco and Safeway. Bananas have looked really awful the last few weeks we’ve looked. Found some ok looking ones on Saturday at Central. I got Colby Jack cheese from the deli a week ago. I’m tired of their meats, so I'm making more cheese sandwiches. Apparently, people had won both Powerball and Mega Millions, so both were pretty low. I still got tickets anyways. Even though they’re really low, I’ll still get more than enough to live off of it if I won. Sunday night I tried Central’s broccoli cheddar quiche for dinner. It seemed to be the right size for one person. It was saltier than I expected. Other than that, it was pretty good. I also found a very small red velvet cupcake. Usually I see such big ones, it was almost refreshing to see such a small one. It was very rich and decadent tasting. I was running really low on cereal (had like an 1/8 of a serving left), so I’m glad we went to Safeway to get more yesterday. I was also out of my turkey bacon. Had my last fruit cup yesterday. Got more of the mixed fruit in black cherry gel and mandarin oranges in orange gel. Those are good. Not sure why the mixed fruit one seems soupier. We ran out of big black bags. We especially need them for the puppy pads and trash each week. I also wanted them to start going through the stuff on my old bed. I’m going to throw most of it away. Except for the sherpa blanket. I haven’t really needed it yet this year, but it’s nice to have and soft. Since I was going through cough drops really quickly, I decided to get more. Last time I had the cherry store brand version. This time I got Halls’ black cherry. Hopefully they’re good. They have the same amount of menthol. We got more puppy pads. She really goes through them. We went to Petco this time. Got a toothbrush. It’s been longer than it should be with one brush, so it was time. I never know what to get so I got a medium. It apparently helps whiten teeth. My old one said it flosses as well. I doubt that. I had Safeway’s broccoli and chicken penne Alfredo for dinner yesterday. I think it’s better than Central’s chicken fettuccine Alfredo. The sauce is better and there’s no green onions. It also has broccoli. Good to have a vegetable. I also got their tiramisu cake for dessert, which I had half of as my last snack yesterday. It’s one of their best cakes. Although, I really love their Biscoff cookie butter cake. That’s amazing!

I got weird letters in the mail on Friday. They made me worry that I was kicked off of Medicaid or Apple Health. Most of the letters were from Washington Health Plan Finder. So, I called them today. They said I probably have it through Washington’s Healthcare Authority instead. Since I already was on it, they declined me getting on it through them. They said, to be sure, call Healthcare Authority and gave me the number. It was to their customer service. They had an automated thing that checked my status. (It was a little hard to hear.) It said I’m still on it. Thank goodness! I was really worried.

Last Thursday I had an xgeva and doctor’s appointment. I took the Access bus to and from it. Apparently, when my parent came home earlier than me, she said Rosie was crying for me. That was nice. I didn’t think she’d do that. I know she’s close to me, but she had my parent there. Anyways, the xgeva injection was slow and painful. Everyone was running late at the clinic.

I managed to get my primary care doctor to make a referral to get a new hospital bed. I got a call the next day saying they can deliver one that day. Super fast! I wasn’t ready. I moved it to February 3rd. I also made another appointment to take my old hospital bed the same day. I have to find a way to get rid of my old regular bed first. (They don’t move other beds.) That bed is also not good. My parent suggested the Got Junk people. That might be good and easy. I’m a little nervous I might not have a bed if the new one doesn’t work out somehow. It’ll probably be fine. If I don’t have a way to get rid of my old bed by Friday, I’ll call them and reschedule. It’ll be nice to sleep and be in my room again. I need to get a surge protector/power strip for the outlet near my bed. I’ll need it for the bed, iPhone charger, watch charger, and lamp on the nightstand. I need to dust at least near my bed, too. At some point, I might take down my ace flag and get a small TV mounted in that area. That might be nice. 

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7th of Tevet

I’m still waiting for Social Security’s decision on my SSI. I think they’re giving me until January 11th, but I think they might have finally made their decision before that. I sent papers to them like they asked me to. They suggested I hand the envelope to them at the office or mail it. Mailing it was easier for me. I’m not sure why it’s taking so long, since I sent it a while ago. I hope it gets to them, and they decide to approve me. If not, we’ll have to appeal it. I did recently get another notification that they still consider me categorically needy for health care stuff. That’s something. I think that’s the state, not on the federal level? I called them a couple of times. Each time I would be put on hold for over 2 hours. Too long for me. I don’t think they’d be able to help me either. If they didn’t get the papers, that’s not my fault. Where did it go, if they didn’t get it? It got me so worried at one point, I couldn’t sleep well. Now, realizing I can’t do anything more and they should have gotten it, oddly makes me feel a little better.

I called Access Bus for another ride. This time to my oncology appointment coming up on Thursday. That went smoothly. Except I forgot who I’m seeing. It’s someone who I haven’t met before. I don’t know what happened to Dr. Nik.

Had my CT scan last Thursday morning. I usually get both that and a full bone scan done in Tacoma. This was just the CT scan part and it was at KP’s Silverdale clinic. Much closer. I had to get up a little earlier than usual. (It’s bad enough I usually have to get up early to take a pill.) They told me not to eat 4 hours beforehand. They were going to do some bloodwork, but looked over my info again and apparently they didn’t have to. They wanted me there an hour early so I could drink the contrast before it. They didn’t tell me to take my clothes off this time. I just had to push my jeans down a little. I was really worried they wouldn’t be able to get an IV in. It was a big ordeal last time I had it done there. This time he got it in right away. He said I had rock hard veins, but it looked like a few good ones. I had a hard time breathing during it. We thought my arms would be up enough so they wouldn’t hit the machine, they did anyway. It wasn’t too bad this time.

The results were pretty good. Only thing that showed up were gallstones. No mention of lung nodules,  atelectasis (partial lung collapse), or fatty liver disease. Maybe my walks have helped?   

I was really hungry afterwards. I thought about going to the Oak Table. The parking lot was way too crowded, and it looked like we would have to wait a long time. So, we decided to go to Green Light Diner instead. I got their smoked salmon eggs Benedict without scallions and with hash browns. I was thinking of getting the Oak Table version, so why not try theirs? The eggs seemed almost hard-boiled instead of poached. They have herbed cream cheese along with their hollandaise sauce. There were capers, too. The salmon seemed thicker and there was more of it. It was pretty good all together. The hash browns needed just a little more salt. I ate the whole thing. I was that hungry.

Oncology called me yesterday and left a voicemail. They wanted me to get some lab work done before my appointment this Thursday. So, I had a blood draw yesterday for it. I knew I needed it soon, because it’s been a while. It went well. In fact, they said I had a beautiful vein. I got 2 results back yesterday. My alk phos was high, and my platelet count was high. That’s not normal for me. Makes me wonder what that actually means. Google is a bit scary when I searched for it on there. My cancer marker (which I got today) is the lowest it’s ever been. (Since they have kept track of it.) I think that’s a good thing.

It’s a new month today with my walking plan. My new outside walk is walking out of the neighborhood, to the Mormon church, through the greenbelt, next to the tennis courts and back. I plan to do inside walks occasionally too. Like when it’s too rainy out there. I decided to do 40 minutes inside today. When I know how long the new outside route will be, I can change it. If I had gone out today, the sun would have been in my eyes. I did 137 rounds inside. That’s a lot. Apparently, just over a mile.

I plan to start cooking again. I haven’t done it in a long time. A lot of the recipes I see on Pinterest look great. It’d be nice to try them. A lot of them have either cheese in it, or you can add it as like a garnish at the end. Some are truly without cheese. However, I think it’ll be fun to cook with it. Some of the recipes might last me most of the week. So, that’s also a positive. Maybe I'll do it for Saturday dinners? That sounds like a good time.

I did 6 Spanish lessons on Duolingo today. I usually do 3. I only missed one sentence. I flagged it because I think mine was just another way to do it. They have interacted with me in the past when I flag them. They say things like they added another option putting mine into it, too. I finished all 3 quests. One of the quests wanted me to finish 5 lessons, so that’s partially why I did that. After the 5th one, I got another xp multiplier, so had to use it. I might try to do more than the 3 I usually do. I also got to 2 stories. One they’ve done before and the other seemed new. I don’t like when they repeat. When I was done today, I was 4th in the league. Not sure if I’m still at that spot now.

Rosie’s been using the box often. Sometimes she misses and it ends up on the puppy pads, but she was doing really well for a few days. (Those days doing nothing on the puppy pads.) The happy pills might be helping her. Today, she’s made it in the box most of the time, and a little on the pads.

Had a nice New Year’s Eve at home. We got some snacks for it. Got pickled herring, a cheese ball (thought it would be interesting to try), plain Ruffles chips with French onion dip, dolmas, olives, smoked salmon spread, chocolate covered malt balls, chocolate covered cherries, little slices of rye bread (for things like fish, cheese, etc.), the Hanukkah truffles, and I think that’s it. It was nice. We saw the celebrations from around the world. I fell asleep at some point. We watched the local fireworks too. Had sparkling apple cider to ring in the new year. Kind of like our champagne. Since I don’t drink alcohol. Still trying to eat everything we got, and have the 2nd bottle of sparkling apple cider. Nice to keep it going. 

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5th Night of Hanukkah

 It's the 5th night of Hanukkah. It's an 8-day long holiday. The last day is on January 2nd. 

Went to Central Market, Safeway, and Petsmart last Sunday. Rosie needed more food and treats. Her treats basically clean her teeth. I got salmon flavor this time. She loves them. She’ll even jump off my bed to get them.

Safeway apparently doesn’t have a Hanukkah section this year. It could be because of how late the holiday is. It’s the same day on the Jewish calendar (25th of Kislev), but it doesn’t match up with the regular calendar. I think the Jewish calendar added a month this year, so it could be because of that. There was a section at Central. They had a lot of gelt (chocolate coins). I got a couple of the bigger bags of gelt the week before. This time I also got Hanukkah candles. They were expensive. One box was like $20. I got a $14 box of them. It has blue and white candles. Nice to have more than one color. It has enough for the holiday plus one more. Maybe that’s just in case? A little weird. I also got Hanukkah cookies. They have a blue Star of David on each of them and are shortbread cookies. I think they have clear sprinkles. Cute for the holiday.   

Rosie’s new litter box came. Another package from Chewy came before that. Don’t know what’s in that one. The litter box is big. I just hope I can still get to the toilet and sink in there.

I’ve been taking care of the puppy pads a few times a day. She’s been using them instead of the litter box to pee most of the time. Although, there have been a few times where she used the box for it! She pooped a couple of times in it too. I think we need to get more pads.

We did our traditional Chinese buffet dinner on Christmas Eve. It’s a tradition among American Jews to have Chinese food on Christmas. (Either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.) It was a bit crowded. In fact, I thought I tripped over someone, but no one was there. They had some good stuff. 

The first night of Hanukkah was on December 25th. I’ve been lighting the candles. These candles seem ‘taller’ than the ones I’m used to. So, they last a little longer. We listened to some klezmer while we ate dinner the 1st night. I had a broccoli cheddar bake. One of my fave frozen meals, but it’s not fried… People eat cheese/dairy products during the holiday, too. (Just not as well-known.) At least I covered that. We had Hanukkah cookies and gelt for dessert. That’s kind of close to feeling like the holiday. We might look for sufganiyot (jelly-filled donuts).

I had my bed bath last Thursday. Ran out of wipes, so it was a good thing that I bought more. At some point I hope to use my shampoo again. The no rinse stuff seems like it’s still somewhat good for my hair. I don’t think I got the bed wet. I’ve been pretty good about that lately. Had to use the antifungal cream, since I’ve felt itchy. It burns in those areas with that stuff. I don’t put on as much as my home aide did. That was overkill. I’ve been putting on lotion. My skin feels better with it. I put some of it under my eyelids. For some reason that area has gotten dry and rough. The lotion helps a bit.

I had to make an appointment to see my primary care doctor. Apparently she needs to go over my pain meds. Maybe she can help with my pain more. I feel like they ignored my pain with palliative care towards the end. So, I have a CT scan coming up, an oncology appointment (with someone I don’t know), and the primary care doctor one. January sounds a little busy.

I might ask my primary care doctor about getting a new (well new to me. It’ll probably be gently used) hospital bed. I’m hoping to put it in my room upstairs. Hopefully they can take my current bed up there down to the garage or something, and take my old hospital bed. The current hospital bed slumps to one side. It feels crooked. The remote’s buttons have worn down so much it doesn’t have the illustrations anymore. It’ll be nice to be in my own room again. It’ll be nice if all the buttons work on the remote, too. The only ones that work on my current one are for the head and leg part, not the whole thing.

Went to Central today. I found another Hanukkah thing. A bag of 2 different types of chocolate truffles. It says Happy Hanukkah on it. My parent found a premade meatloaf. Just had to add ketchup and cook it. Didn’t have pork in it, even though the one they make for the meals does have it. We had it for dinner, along with pearled pesto couscous and a green cauliflower. The cauliflower was butter-poached. It tasted like cauliflower, but looked like broccoli. It was a bit weird. The meatloaf was good, except I noticed it was really salty in parts of it. The couscous was great. We also got chocolate coffee cups with mousse for dessert. We’ll have that later. 

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19th of Kislev

Managed to go to the bank on Tuesday. I was taken off the shared account. That took a little while. Then, I asked for a printout of a bank statement. That statement will show my royalties I finally recently got. I added my social security number to them. (Wrote it in pencil below my name, in case I made a mistake and needed to correct it. Hope that's good enough.) I also was going to highlight the royalty payments, but then I thought it won’t matter. They’re easy to see. They gave me kind of a small envelope. I managed to stuff all those papers in. The bank also had a menorah in the back. Nice to see something Hanukkah related. I didn’t put my number on it and send it that day, because it was raining, and I didn’t want it to get ruined. I put it in the mailbox yesterday. It was a bit thick, but it made it in. Now I can start thinking about other things. I’ve been so worried about this, and I hope they respond quickly. I did what they told me to do. Hopefully it’s all correct. In the letter they were asking for why I was getting royalties, but I told the interviewer about that. She didn’t highlight it either. She just wrote royalties on the envelope. I’m a bit worried if I did enough for it. Maybe they’ll tell me by calling me. Again, I just need to relax and think about other things until I hear from them.

After going to the bank we (my parent and I) went to Central Market (or Town & Country now) for dinner/dessert stuff. My parent was getting ingredients for her scallop and parsnip puree dish, which was from a French recipe. It looked good and fancy. Although, I hate parsnips and can’t have shellfish. I got a turkey dinner. It had roasted turkey, brussels sprouts, a little stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce. It was pretty good. I didn’t melt the plastic of the gravy container this time as I heated it up. Yay! I wanted to try something from their new bakery area. A lot of it looks pretty or over-the-top. I got the fudge Boston mini. It looked good. It fell apart as I ate it. It was like a parfait. It had cake, custard, fudge, chocolate frosting, and little hollow balls that were like sprinkles. It was so rich tasting, I couldn’t eat the whole thing.

I noticed something on the ground Tuesday night. I didn’t have my contacts in, so I couldn’t really see what it was. I thought it was a big dead rat. In the morning, after putting my contacts in, I looked at it again. It was just one of Rosie’s mouse toys. It scared me. Good that it means she played with it, though. Despite getting a new type of litter box, she’s still peeing and pooping outside it. We both think maybe she just needs a bigger one. Her hips/legs felt good enough to jump on my bed last night and during the day today. Her blood tests came back, and her diabetes seems to be under control. The only thing seems to be that she's very dehydrated. We plan to change her water bowl to a fountain-like one. She might like it more if it's moving, I think. She does drink a lot. Maybe it's just not being absorbed. 

Duolingo was going through maintenance as I did my lessons today. It was a bit glitchy. I missed 3 sentences. I think I was still correct, and maybe they marked me down because of the maintenance. I think I did 3 lessons. They made me redo one story. I’m now 10th in the league.

Got this month’s Treats and it’s on Poland. The recipe is for Polish paczki, which are like donuts. There are some ‘new’ snacks. There’s a sesame candy/snap that was good. Had the Delfina chocolate bar today. It had alcohol in it. Didn’t expect that.

This will probably be my last Treats box. I’ve been getting it for about 3 years. Amazon will stop their subscription for it at the end of this month. I feel like it’s time to try something new anyways. I’m thinking of getting Universal Yums. Specifically their Yum Yum box. It seems like they cover more countries, and I think you get more in depth info on the country and its snacks. You pick a country to start with, then they choose the next one. It’s a surprise each time like Treats is. I’m not sure what I’ll pick. They also have you fill out a quiz on what flavors you like and such. It might be more customizable that way.

Had a hard time sleeping last night. Something made me feel upset enough to cry. Then, Rosie decided to sleep on the bed and a little on me. She was there for a good chunk of the night. She normally gets off at like 12:30am. I decided to raise the leg part, which I like. She doesn’t. After a while of this, she finally made like she was getting off, so I lowered it for her. She finally got down. That was like at 4am. I had a hard time the rest of the night too.

Did my bed bath today. Didn’t get any water on the bed again. I think I did a better job with my hair. I haven’t been using my shampoo for a little while, and instead use the rinse-free soap stuff. My home aide used it on my hair occasionally too. It’s easier to work in, and if I miss a spot, it’s ok. Different with my shampoo.

Went to Olive Garden tonight for dinner. I got their chicken and gnocchi soup, which had more gnocchi than last time. Then, I got a 6 oz sirloin that had fettuccine Alfredo on the side. The steak supposedly had a garlic herb butter, but I think that fell off and went into the pasta instead. It was all pretty good. Took half of it home. Not sure how good it’ll be the next day. I’ll see.

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