19th of Kislev

Managed to go to the bank on Tuesday. I was taken off the shared account. That took a little while. Then, I asked for a printout of a bank statement. That statement will show my royalties I finally recently got. I added my social security number to them. (Wrote it in pencil below my name, in case I made a mistake and needed to correct it. Hope that's good enough.) I also was going to highlight the royalty payments, but then I thought it won’t matter. They’re easy to see. They gave me kind of a small envelope. I managed to stuff all those papers in. The bank also had a menorah in the back. Nice to see something Hanukkah related. I didn’t put my number on it and send it that day, because it was raining, and I didn’t want it to get ruined. I put it in the mailbox yesterday. It was a bit thick, but it made it in. Now I can start thinking about other things. I’ve been so worried about this, and I hope they respond quickly. I did what they told me to do. Hopefully it’s all correct. In the letter they were asking for why I was getting royalties, but I told the interviewer about that. She didn’t highlight it either. She just wrote royalties on the envelope. I’m a bit worried if I did enough for it. Maybe they’ll tell me by calling me. Again, I just need to relax and think about other things until I hear from them.

After going to the bank we (my parent and I) went to Central Market (or Town & Country now) for dinner/dessert stuff. My parent was getting ingredients for her scallop and parsnip puree dish, which was from a French recipe. It looked good and fancy. Although, I hate parsnips and can’t have shellfish. I got a turkey dinner. It had roasted turkey, brussels sprouts, a little stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce. It was pretty good. I didn’t melt the plastic of the gravy container this time as I heated it up. Yay! I wanted to try something from their new bakery area. A lot of it looks pretty or over-the-top. I got the fudge Boston mini. It looked good. It fell apart as I ate it. It was like a parfait. It had cake, custard, fudge, chocolate frosting, and little hollow balls that were like sprinkles. It was so rich tasting, I couldn’t eat the whole thing.

I noticed something on the ground Tuesday night. I didn’t have my contacts in, so I couldn’t really see what it was. I thought it was a big dead rat. In the morning, after putting my contacts in, I looked at it again. It was just one of Rosie’s mouse toys. It scared me. Good that it means she played with it, though. Despite getting a new type of litter box, she’s still peeing and pooping outside it. We both think maybe she just needs a bigger one. Her hips/legs felt good enough to jump on my bed last night and during the day today. Her blood tests came back, and her diabetes seems to be under control. The only thing seems to be that she's very dehydrated. We plan to change her water bowl to a fountain-like one. She might like it more if it's moving, I think. She does drink a lot. Maybe it's just not being absorbed. 

Duolingo was going through maintenance as I did my lessons today. It was a bit glitchy. I missed 3 sentences. I think I was still correct, and maybe they marked me down because of the maintenance. I think I did 3 lessons. They made me redo one story. I’m now 10th in the league.

Got this month’s Treats and it’s on Poland. The recipe is for Polish paczki, which are like donuts. There are some ‘new’ snacks. There’s a sesame candy/snap that was good. Had the Delfina chocolate bar today. It had alcohol in it. Didn’t expect that.

This will probably be my last Treats box. I’ve been getting it for about 3 years. Amazon will stop their subscription for it at the end of this month. I feel like it’s time to try something new anyways. I’m thinking of getting Universal Yums. Specifically their Yum Yum box. It seems like they cover more countries, and I think you get more in depth info on the country and its snacks. You pick a country to start with, then they choose the next one. It’s a surprise each time like Treats is. I’m not sure what I’ll pick. They also have you fill out a quiz on what flavors you like and such. It might be more customizable that way.

Had a hard time sleeping last night. Something made me feel upset enough to cry. Then, Rosie decided to sleep on the bed and a little on me. She was there for a good chunk of the night. She normally gets off at like 12:30am. I decided to raise the leg part, which I like. She doesn’t. After a while of this, she finally made like she was getting off, so I lowered it for her. She finally got down. That was like at 4am. I had a hard time the rest of the night too.

Did my bed bath today. Didn’t get any water on the bed again. I think I did a better job with my hair. I haven’t been using my shampoo for a little while, and instead use the rinse-free soap stuff. My home aide used it on my hair occasionally too. It’s easier to work in, and if I miss a spot, it’s ok. Different with my shampoo.

Went to Olive Garden tonight for dinner. I got their chicken and gnocchi soup, which had more gnocchi than last time. Then, I got a 6 oz sirloin that had fettuccine Alfredo on the side. The steak supposedly had a garlic herb butter, but I think that fell off and went into the pasta instead. It was all pretty good. Took half of it home. Not sure how good it’ll be the next day. I’ll see.

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27th of Cheshvan

It’s been a long time since my last post. I hardly ever go on my computer, and I could only blog through that before. It looks like Blogger now supports smartphones. I don’t think they have an app still, but I’m using Chrome for it. We’ll see how this goes. If it works out well, I can try to get into blogging again. Yay! I’ve been posting a lot about my health stuff on facebook. It’s kind of turned into a health blog that way. I also updated some of the lists on here. It was a little more difficult to do than on my computer, because of the order I put things in. For instance, I like to have the most recent show I finished at the top in my Netflix list. It likes to put the most recent entry at the bottom. Takes a little more time. Oh well. 

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but I had tried out the Celebrate States monthly subscription for a while. That was kind of fun. Each month they send you stuff from a certain state. Each state’s a mystery until close to that month. They reveal it kind of early on facebook, but if you’re not following that, you don’t know. With each state they featured I tried to ‘virtually’ visit it. I’m a little behind on that, but it’s fun. I’m going through Texas right now. 

Anyways, they sometimes sent things like brochures/magazines, coloring pages with the state flag/flower/etc., and a map of what it produces and the counties. Interesting stuff. For my ‘visits’ I used those brochures/magazines and Atlas Obscura online. Now, it’s mainly Atlas Obscura. They have interesting places. 

Since I filled out a questionnaire saying I have cats, they would send a cat toy occasionally. That was nice. Some of the items were interesting. I got candles and soaps often. My parent thought the Syracuse black garlic salt was a good find, and might get more of that. I liked some of the tea it had. I don’t regret trying it out, however it started losing it’s value for me with the last few boxes. Seemed like we weren’t getting as much, items weren’t as good, and they stopped putting cat toys in it. The coloring pages were too kid-like, too. 

So, I decided to stop getting it yesterday. Apparently, they’re sending me one more box. It’ll be this month’s Thanksgiving themed one. I think it’ll be Pennsylvania. I don’t exactly know, but I thought I saw something on it. I don’t know why I’d be getting one more box. It’s not like I double ordered or something. I suppose it’s not bad. 

I decided to order another states thing called 50 States of Mine. There was only the premium box option. It’s only a little under $7 more than the Celebrate States one. Not that much of a difference. It’s more food based, no ‘kid’ things, usually has 8 or 9 items (which is more than CS had), has things that are related to what the state’s known for, and just seems better. This is based off of watching youtube vids on it and reviews. If I don’t like it, or the value isn’t really worth it, I can always try something else. There’s an Irish box I could try or others. Apparently, the box for this month is Kentucky. So fitting. It’s my birth month and that’s the state I was born in. Seems like it was destined for me to try. We’ll see. 

I’m still getting the Treats monthly subscription box. I like it a lot. It’s fun to see what they have for each country. Again, it features a different country’s snacks every month. October’s was Croatia and Serbia. First time they had 2 countries. It seemed like they were pretty evenly split with where each snack came from. The oddest one to me, seemed oddly one of my faves. It’s called Smoki, and it’s peanut flavored cornmeal pieces. They described them as shaped like peanuts. They looked more like cashews. They used real peanuts in it. It had a strong peanut and salty flavor. Interesting. If I didn’t like peanuts it would have been nasty. The worst tasting of the box sounded like it’d be good. It was sandwich cookies with chocolate in the middle. I don’t know how they messed that up, but I almost threw up trying it. The chestnut chocolate bar was strong, but pretty good. I haven’t had chestnuts that often. The only other time I think I’ve tried them was someone I know makes a stuffing with them. I hate it in that. Maybe it’s the way they make it? I don’t know. 

There was a time where my pain got much worse. I had to be readmitted into palliative care to get it back under control. It seems my body had grown more tolerant to the morphine. I was trying to sleep back in my old bed. I didn’t know if they were going to take the hospital bed because I was out of the program for a little while. My pain increased while I did that in my back, pelvis, and neck. The neck was new, so they were worried about that. So it was a combo of my meds and sleeping in a different bed. Turns out they weren’t going to take the hospital bed, so I went back to it. The pain was slightly better with that. We ended up increasing my dose of morphine by quite a lot. So much, apparently my pc doctor was worried I could overdose and ordered Narcan for me. My parent would have to use it to revive me. That doctor ordered it after they exited me from palliative care again. That was odd. Didn’t tell me about it, until I pressured them about it. It seems I’m stuck with sleeping in the hospital bed. It’s in the family room, which is an odd place to sleep. At least my pain is better. 

I recently had a CT scan, full bone scan, and neck MRI. The neck one was because of that new pain. Everything was stable. Been stable for a while. It’s not exactly the best, because there’s no improvement. It’s not getting better. Just the same. We’re trying to get it to NED or No Evidence of Disease. I might feel better if there was some sort of improvement. I wanted a second opinion from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. I was told to wait for them to call me. They never did. There’s got to be something more to try. I just feel like I’m constantly waiting for the next tests, and just keep taking my oral chemo. There’s got to be a trial or something more I can do. 

I started xgeva several months ago. Last month was my 3rd dose of it. It’s supposed to strengthen my bones. Most people with bone mets need something like this. It’s a shot instead of infusion. It really hurts as it goes in. I get it in the back of my left upper arm. The nurse likes to go super slow with it, so it draws out the pain. She thinks it minimizes the pain. It doesn’t. It’s so much fluid, my arm gets sloshy. Hard to describe. I haven’t really had side effects, other then the pain at the injection site. It might have affected my dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), but we’re not sure. If it did, it’s a rare thing. 

About a month ago, Tasha, one of our cats, passed away. I know she was around 17 years old, but this was sudden. She literally just collapsed and was gone. She was asking to be put up on the banister to get to her food and water bowls, and seemed so happy. I looked away for a sec and was getting ready to pick her up, when she suddenly collapsed. She made a howling sound. We weren’t sure if she was gone and took her to the emergency vet clinic. They came back and told us she was already gone. It was hard and I miss her. We have her ashes in a nice looking box urn now. I think Rosie, our other cat, still looks for her sometimes. They did not like each other, but I think Rosie just wanted to play with her most of the time. Now it’s just Rosie. I think she likes being the only one now. 

My birthday’s coming up on November 7th. We got Rosie from the shelter around my birthday, so it’s kind of like hers, too. She got a birthday card from Chewy. That was nice. Chewy’s where we get her insulin from. Maybe she’d like a tuna cake or something. I’m not sure about what I want. We’re going to the Oak Table for brunch. That’s a nice place. I’d like to go somewhere for dinner, but I’m not sure where. I don’t know what I want to do for my birthday, but feel like I should do something. Maybe go to some sort of museum? I feel like each birthday’s even more important now, since I have stage 4 cancer. It gives a different perspective on birthdays. My parent keeps telling me to not postpone the fun. I’m trying to have as much fun as I can, but sometimes I don’t know what to do. 

I finished the Yiddish course through Duolingo. That was interesting. I tried their Hebrew one again, and it was awful. I’m doing their French one now. It’s much better and fleshed out, of course. They have stories and a podcast on top of the course. Much more developed. Lots of speaking exercises, which is what the other courses need. I took all the French classes that were available in high school. I still remember a lot. It’s kind of a weird language. I almost took a proficiency test back then that could have given me college credits and a trip to Paris if I passed. My teacher was encouraging me to take it, but I was too scared of it. I should have tried it. I always had good grades in it. I have a just over 200-day streak now on there. Longest I’ve ever had. Should be interesting to see how long I can keep it up. 

I’ve been getting buzzcuts for about a year now. Ever since my hairstylist heard about my cancer, she hasn’t charged me for it. She feels like it’s something she can do for me. It’s nice, but it still feels odd. Last time my hair grew much faster than usual. There was a lot. Having a buzzcut is so much easier to manage. I don’t even have to brush it. It’s nice. 

We got a freezer a few months ago. That’s been really handy. I’ve gotten things like blueberry pancakes, bean/rice/cheese burritos, carne asada burritos (from Trader Joe’s, and one of the best), teriyaki rice bowls, chicken melts with pita, and more. Good stuff for throughout the day. A variety of new things to try. It has made it easier to keep track of my calories and other nutrients. I don’t get as many dinners from the local markets as I did before, which is good. Those are like made for 2 people, but look like single servings, so it’s hard.