15 of Tevet

It’s been so long since I’ve actually cooked something. I think the cancer has made it hard to motivate myself to do it. Before my fall back in March 2020 (a month before I was diagnosed with cancer), I was getting back into it. It was fun. I thought I’d try to cook again this year. I might cook on Saturdays. I made Enchilada Pasta from a pin I found on Pinterest this last Saturday. I bought pre-diced white onions, so I didn’t have to do it myself. It really helped. I hate onions, but will eat them if cooked a certain way. The recipe called for yellow onion, but it probably doesn’t matter much. The onions basically disappeared, which was a plus. Good to just have the taste. It has ground beef. It really reminds me of Hamburger Helper that way. I’m not used to using taco seasoning and enchilada sauce. Both were interesting. There’s also low sodium beef broth, pasta, and cheese. The cheese is a blend of monterey jack and cheddar. The cheese was like magic. It thickened up a lot when I added it. The pasta was perfectly cooked. I thought it would be too long. You cook it in the enchilada sauce and beef broth (and the rest of the stuff except cheese) for 15-20 minutes. No extra pot that way. It was really good. Very zesty. It’s made quite a few more dinners during the week. They say it’s 6 servings, but I don’t measure them out. I just go by what I want. I gave myself a little too much Monday night. Felt really full, but I still have a lot left.

Didn’t go to the markets on Sunday, but went to Central on Monday. I’m running really low on what SSI was paying me, so my parent was nice enough to help me with it. I still haven’t heard from Social Security. Anyways, I got a smoked turkey and dill havarti sandwich for dinner. To have a little break from the pasta thing. I also got a slice of cherry pie. I had that as my last snack. I got more instant beef pho. Used one of the instant pho’s on Monday, so I replaced it with this. The bananas looked horrible. It must be bad weather or something, since they’ve looked bad the last few times. I forgot to get milk, so I’ve had cereal without it again. Got one of my fave Amy’s frozen meals: broccoli cheddar bake. Also, got their Country Cheddar one. It’s been a while since I’ve had it, but it sounds good.

I got my first box of Universal Yums. It’s on the UK. I think they do a lot more interactive things than Treats did. One of their emails beforehand had a list of British comedy shows. Each one has a youtube link (I think to playlists), so you can watch some of it. Another email had recipes. It comes with a map of the country with some highlights. On the back you can write how you felt about each snack. There’s a booklet. Much more in depth than Treats on this. They have more recipes, sayings, a music playlist, descriptions of each snack, tips on what to do and not do at a tea party or afternoon tea, and even nutrition info on each snack. There are also stickers. The snacks have been interesting, and I don’t think Treats had any of them before. There’s also a little Yum Bag, which is apparently full of 2 types of little things they found. They’re fudge and a caramel filled with liquid chocolate. (They actually highlight them in the booklet as well.) This one seems more interesting to me. I've tried everything except the rhubarb candy and toffee. The pickled onion potato chips (or crisps) were better than the cheddar potato chips. The candies were softer than I expected. The Millions Iron Brew flavor were awful. Worst thing so far. Reminded me of Nerds, but stickier. Not really chewy. Stuck to my teeth too much and I only had a few pieces. (Gave it 1 or 0 hearts, if I could.) Tried it today, and had the chocolate chip and coconut soft cookies instead. They were good, but had just a little too much coconut. I also got an email from them a couple of nights ago. They featured books from or about the UK. A couple of them sounded interesting and I might add them to my wishlist on Amazon (if they’re on there). They really seem to get into it. Oh, and they asked if I wanted to opt out of Valentine’s Day related stuff next month. I happily did that. I don’t really like the holiday. They said I’ll still get the country related emails.

Monday I did 5 or 6 lessons in Duolingo’s Spanish course. I wanted to finish all the quests and use the xp multipliers I got from finishing them. I did 3 lessons each yesterday and today. Finished 2 quests pretty quickly. Only had 1 mistake today. I’m 4th in the league. That’s pretty good considering how competitive they are in this one.

Watched Flow and finished Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. Flow was really trippy. They got the cat movement/mannerisms correct. It seems like it was a metaphor for death. It was a world where humans had certainly been there, but they disappeared. Interesting how the animals interacted with each other. At times they almost seemed human.

The New Empire was kind of cool. Lots of big ‘monsters’. I like how Kong knows the humans are trying to help him. They fixed his tooth for one thing. (There was another thing the humans gave him, but that might be giving too much away.) Godzilla just seemed angry with everyone but Mothra. I like where he decided to sleep a couple of times. I think he didn’t even know why he was trying to supercharge himself with radiation until Mothra came out.

Went to Silver City last night for dinner. We (my parent and I) shared their pretzel appetizer. It comes with 2 pretzels, so we could each have 1. I ate half of mine. I got their Top Notch burger with coleslaw. It was pretty good. Had half of both of them. Those and the pretzel made a nice lunch today. I had their brownie for dessert. It had ice cream on top, hot fudge, caramel sauce, and a ton of whipped cream. Some chocolate puffs/chunks were on top of the whipped cream. It looked like a huge ice cream sundae. I didn’t have the whole thing.

Had a horrible leg cramp early yesterday morning. I was still in bed. It was so bad that it was spasming for a long time afterwards. I’ve been getting little ones lately, but this was the biggest one in a long time. Maybe I need my cyclobenzaprine dose increased. It’s a muscle relaxer, which has helped a lot. I’ll bring it up with my primary care doctor. Another thing is I’ve been occasionally bleeding from my nose. I don’t know if it’s just dryness or something more.

Figured out another way to organize my pills. It might make it easier. After each day, organize yesterday’s pills. So, I end up refilling it over time. Sunday I’ll end up doing 2 days worth. Once during the day, and once after I have my last batch of pills that day. That’s better than doing all of them at once. It takes time with each one. It won’t take nearly as long. (It also means I won’t need to refill one on Mondays.) I’ll just still go over my pills on Sunday to see what I need to order or get at CVS/Safeway. That doesn’t take much time. 

I got a billing statement today online from Kaiser Permanente. It was more than I expected. They're still using the insurance I get as a dependent, not the Medicaid version. If it were the Medicaid version, I don't think it would even cost me anything. The biggest thing was the CT scan. I kind of think they used my Medicaid for the meds I got earlier this month. They were still at no cost. Normally, if I haven't met the deductible yet, most are $10. Except for Ibrance and Symproic, being $50 each a month. I'd be happy if they are using it for my meds. Wish it was for the rest of it, though. I'm a little nervous about my Xgeva again. I don't know if it'll be covered by Medicaid, or they'll charge me. It's not a cheap med, even when covered normally. If I don't get it, I can easily break more bones. I don't know if I can put a pause on it anyways. I might just go through with it, see how much it is and use their monthly bill pay thing for it and the CT scan stuff. The benefits card will help for now. Hopefully they can switch me to the Medicaid one soon.

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7th of Tevet

I’m still waiting for Social Security’s decision on my SSI. I think they’re giving me until January 11th, but I think they might have finally made their decision before that. I sent papers to them like they asked me to. They suggested I hand the envelope to them at the office or mail it. Mailing it was easier for me. I’m not sure why it’s taking so long, since I sent it a while ago. I hope it gets to them, and they decide to approve me. If not, we’ll have to appeal it. I did recently get another notification that they still consider me categorically needy for health care stuff. That’s something. I think that’s the state, not on the federal level? I called them a couple of times. Each time I would be put on hold for over 2 hours. Too long for me. I don’t think they’d be able to help me either. If they didn’t get the papers, that’s not my fault. Where did it go, if they didn’t get it? It got me so worried at one point, I couldn’t sleep well. Now, realizing I can’t do anything more and they should have gotten it, oddly makes me feel a little better.

I called Access Bus for another ride. This time to my oncology appointment coming up on Thursday. That went smoothly. Except I forgot who I’m seeing. It’s someone who I haven’t met before. I don’t know what happened to Dr. Nik.

Had my CT scan last Thursday morning. I usually get both that and a full bone scan done in Tacoma. This was just the CT scan part and it was at KP’s Silverdale clinic. Much closer. I had to get up a little earlier than usual. (It’s bad enough I usually have to get up early to take a pill.) They told me not to eat 4 hours beforehand. They were going to do some bloodwork, but looked over my info again and apparently they didn’t have to. They wanted me there an hour early so I could drink the contrast before it. They didn’t tell me to take my clothes off this time. I just had to push my jeans down a little. I was really worried they wouldn’t be able to get an IV in. It was a big ordeal last time I had it done there. This time he got it in right away. He said I had rock hard veins, but it looked like a few good ones. I had a hard time breathing during it. We thought my arms would be up enough so they wouldn’t hit the machine, they did anyway. It wasn’t too bad this time.

The results were pretty good. Only thing that showed up were gallstones. No mention of lung nodules,  atelectasis (partial lung collapse), or fatty liver disease. Maybe my walks have helped?   

I was really hungry afterwards. I thought about going to the Oak Table. The parking lot was way too crowded, and it looked like we would have to wait a long time. So, we decided to go to Green Light Diner instead. I got their smoked salmon eggs Benedict without scallions and with hash browns. I was thinking of getting the Oak Table version, so why not try theirs? The eggs seemed almost hard-boiled instead of poached. They have herbed cream cheese along with their hollandaise sauce. There were capers, too. The salmon seemed thicker and there was more of it. It was pretty good all together. The hash browns needed just a little more salt. I ate the whole thing. I was that hungry.

Oncology called me yesterday and left a voicemail. They wanted me to get some lab work done before my appointment this Thursday. So, I had a blood draw yesterday for it. I knew I needed it soon, because it’s been a while. It went well. In fact, they said I had a beautiful vein. I got 2 results back yesterday. My alk phos was high, and my platelet count was high. That’s not normal for me. Makes me wonder what that actually means. Google is a bit scary when I searched for it on there. My cancer marker (which I got today) is the lowest it’s ever been. (Since they have kept track of it.) I think that’s a good thing.

It’s a new month today with my walking plan. My new outside walk is walking out of the neighborhood, to the Mormon church, through the greenbelt, next to the tennis courts and back. I plan to do inside walks occasionally too. Like when it’s too rainy out there. I decided to do 40 minutes inside today. When I know how long the new outside route will be, I can change it. If I had gone out today, the sun would have been in my eyes. I did 137 rounds inside. That’s a lot. Apparently, just over a mile.

I plan to start cooking again. I haven’t done it in a long time. A lot of the recipes I see on Pinterest look great. It’d be nice to try them. A lot of them have either cheese in it, or you can add it as like a garnish at the end. Some are truly without cheese. However, I think it’ll be fun to cook with it. Some of the recipes might last me most of the week. So, that’s also a positive. Maybe I'll do it for Saturday dinners? That sounds like a good time.

I did 6 Spanish lessons on Duolingo today. I usually do 3. I only missed one sentence. I flagged it because I think mine was just another way to do it. They have interacted with me in the past when I flag them. They say things like they added another option putting mine into it, too. I finished all 3 quests. One of the quests wanted me to finish 5 lessons, so that’s partially why I did that. After the 5th one, I got another xp multiplier, so had to use it. I might try to do more than the 3 I usually do. I also got to 2 stories. One they’ve done before and the other seemed new. I don’t like when they repeat. When I was done today, I was 4th in the league. Not sure if I’m still at that spot now.

Rosie’s been using the box often. Sometimes she misses and it ends up on the puppy pads, but she was doing really well for a few days. (Those days doing nothing on the puppy pads.) The happy pills might be helping her. Today, she’s made it in the box most of the time, and a little on the pads.

Had a nice New Year’s Eve at home. We got some snacks for it. Got pickled herring, a cheese ball (thought it would be interesting to try), plain Ruffles chips with French onion dip, dolmas, olives, smoked salmon spread, chocolate covered malt balls, chocolate covered cherries, little slices of rye bread (for things like fish, cheese, etc.), the Hanukkah truffles, and I think that’s it. It was nice. We saw the celebrations from around the world. I fell asleep at some point. We watched the local fireworks too. Had sparkling apple cider to ring in the new year. Kind of like our champagne. Since I don’t drink alcohol. Still trying to eat everything we got, and have the 2nd bottle of sparkling apple cider. Nice to keep it going. 

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2nd of Kislev

I forgot last time to say what happened on getting a new number/card, and more info, on KP. Apparently, they don’t give out new numbers if plans change within KP. Unless you leave the state. All my medical records will transfer over as well. So, no running around trying to get at least my meds onto the new plan. My social worker says it already shows up that I have Medicaid with them. I might not have to worry when I fully change to the new plan. Yay!

I had my last bed bath with a home aide last Tuesday. Normally it’s every Monday and Thursday. She had off on Monday, and Thursday was a holiday. She was planning on trying to squeeze me in for both Tuesday and Friday. I guess Friday didn’t work out for her. She wanted me to friend her on facebook to stay connected. I tried to, but her settings don’t allow me to friend her. So, I messaged her about it. She’ll have to friend me first. It’s a little weird, but she was nice. It’s ok if I don’t hear from her.

I did my own bed bath today. I did it this morning. I used my shower brush for a lot of it. Since it’s hard to reach some areas with my right shoulder. (I broke it in 2020.) I also had wipes that helped. I had my sock aid ready to put my socks on myself. That’s hard to do without it. I still have all the products she used. I ordered them, so I can just order them again when I run out of them. I’ll have to be sure to remember to use lotion. I did remember this time. I’m super dry, and I think she said it’s worse now that it’s close to wintertime. I’m not sure if I’ll do my bed baths more often, or keep it to Mondays and Thursdays. It’s not like I sweat a lot now. Might be different during the summer. I think I got myself cleaner than when she did it. (Got the bed wet in a little area. I'll just try to be more careful and cover that area with the towels more.) I think it took me a little longer. That might get better over time.

Went to Thanksgiving at one of my parent’s friends’ place. It took about 1.5 hours each way to get there and back by car. Kind of a ways. The turkey was really good. The rest of the food was ok. Got to have interesting conversations. There was a couple with 2 children, my parent and I, the hostess’ parents, and the hostess herself. There were supposed to be 10, but it looks like there was just 9 of us. I didn’t know anyone. (Other than my parent, of course.) There was a dog. I think her name was Heart. She had a sweater on that didn’t really fit her anymore. She also had a painful gum issue, I think. The kids were off the walls. Loud and rambunctious. The boy decided to bring his train under the table and play with it. Eventually he started rubbing my legs under the table and put his head out on the side. It was really bizarre and inappropriate. There was also the time when that family was about to leave but the girl got upset, threw her jacket off, and said she was staying. I tried to stay away from them at the end, and gave them as much space as I could. We left so quickly we forgot our utensils for the pies and the bag. (We were leaving the pies behind. We had brought apple and pumpkin pies.) Maybe she can do something up here, and give them to us on the way or something. My parent said we could just buy new stuff and not worry about it. I don’t know if this will turn into an annual thing. It would be interesting if it did. It’s been a while since we were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner with friends. It was nice that way.

Managed to go to both local markets yesterday. I got a smoked turkey and dill havarti sandwich for dinner that night. Cherry crunch pie for dessert. I plan to have a salmon and pesto pasta dinner tonight. It has asparagus and cherry tomatoes as well. I think it’s pretty healthy. I’ll have a Biscoff cookie butter cake for dessert. It’s new and sounds amazing! Didn’t do the lottery tickets because the machine was acting up, and I didn’t want to wait for it to be fixed. Maybe we’ll go back soon.

Didn’t expect to pour cereal all over the floor this morning. I might have enough left in the box for a few days. I tried cleaning it up with a broom and dustpan. Still heard a little crunching afterwards. 

I was going to have a cherry mixed fruit cup with lunch. (I usually have some form of fruit cup.) It was hard to get out of its package. I noticed there was some weird hard brown sticky stuff on it. It was so sticky, I couldn’t open it. The others in the sleeve looked the same, so I had to throw them out. I had mandarin oranges in gel instead. Luckily I have 2 more things of fruit cups besides the orange one. I just feel like I wasted one package of them. It’s not my fault though. There probably was some sort of leak and it got all over the cups. Today’s been weird. 

I managed to get an outside walk in, along with my 2 indoor walks. Tuesday's the start of the last week of my current walk. I'm going from the mailboxes, all the way to the tennis court, and back home. Oh, I also check the mail afterwards, so technically I do go to the mailboxes again. The next one I'll do is twice around that same area. I'm not sure if I can do it twice, but I'll try. Hopefully I can get the last week in with going outside for them. If I don't go out, I do 15 minutes inside. I'll double that when I can't go out with the 'new' way of doing it. 

Oncology called me. I was busy with something so it went to voicemail. They made an appointment for me. This will be to go over the CT scan I'll get done on January 2nd. It's with a different oncologist. The one I was assigned to is Dr. Nik (they shorten it to that), and this will be a Dr. Stephen. Maybe Dr. Nik will be on vacation? (Hopefully he's not leaving too. So many doctors seem to be leaving or moving around.) I hope this one will be ok. Usually they want lab work done like the week before. They didn't mention that this time. I might call them back at some point to make sure.

I plan to get back into anime and Netflix shows. I still have quite a few anime that I haven't finished from a few years ago. The list for what I want to see is long. I have quite a lot on my Netflix list as well. 

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26th of Cheshvan

My nurse plans to discharge me from palliative care (pc) this week. My home aide did my last bed bath today. She might come on Friday, we don’t know. Most likely won’t. It’s usually on Monday and Thursday. She had off this Monday, and Thursday’s a holiday. At least I’ll be somewhat clean for the holiday. I have a plan for doing it myself. I might even get cleaner. My shower brush will come in handy. As my home aide was leaving, she said that I can friend her on facebook. She said she doesn’t normally say it, but that would be nice to keep in touch. I don’t know if I will or not. I searched for her, just to see. (I was surprised I found her.) She’s right, she doesn’t do much on there. She might react to things though. She was nice, but it might be a little strange.

My social worker said she’ll call me sometime this week. It’ll be about being in touch with another social worker who deals with cancer patients on Medicaid, I think.

They told me I can still stay in touch and call the pc doctor, even when I’m discharged from it. He never was very good at communicating. He keeps saying he’ll call me but never does. I don’t really trust him anymore. My primary doctor and oncologist would do a better job.

We didn’t get to go grocery shopping for the week during the weekend. We went to Central yesterday. On Sunday, my parent spent much of the day making a kosher Ukrainian borscht. All the meat in it was beef. There was quite a bit of vegetables, too. I think that was the first time I’ve had borscht. It seemed earthy. That might have been the beets. The only thing I didn’t like were the pieces of beef. They were a little too fatty for me. The sausage was good with it. Despite it being skimmed, it also left an oily film on my lips. That’s not a bad thing. It was pretty good.

I thought I was finally getting all my royalties from kdp/Amazon, but apparently some of it already went to the ‘state’ as unclaimed property. This is all on kdp or Amazon. I did what they asked me to do. I feel like they almost stole it from me. Luckily, there’s a claim you can file with the Department of Revenue to see if you have unclaimed ‘property’ or money. I shouldn’t have to give them the document that kdp gave me. The link will apparently disappear in 2 business days. I’ll download it to my computer just in case beforehand. They said I’ll get $33 from the US market. I’m not sure where they got the $33 from, if all of it went to the ‘state’. I got the royalty from the UK today. The $33 they say will be paid on 11/29. This is so weird. The Unclaimed Property Division emailed me back. They had a document of things that were unclaimed to me. Nothing on kdp. (Surprised they had anything.) I’ll try to upload the document kdp gave me to them and see what happens. I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it… Maybe if I don’t get anywhere with the Unclaimed Division, I can email kdp back. They said I could use the email to reply back, if I needed to.

For Thanksgiving we were told to bring pie. We might get apple and pumpkin pies. They’ll probably be good. I don’t know what else will be there. Hopefully foods I can have. There will be 10 people, 8 adults and 2 children. That’s not too bad. Maybe it’ll be a new tradition to go to this friend’s place for Thanksgiving. The only downside would be how far away it is from home. (I think she said it's in Lacey, which would be about a 1.5-hour drive.) We’ll see how it goes. It’s nice to be with people for it, though. It’s a different experience when it’s just my parent and I and Rosie. Nice but different. I hope the friends we used to visit for Thanksgiving have a good one too.

I managed to do an outside walk today. The weather was good. No rain or wind. A little cold and cloudy, but nice walking weather. A little kid in a van yelled hello as they went past me. That was odd, and looked like the kid was going to fall out of the window.

Rosie’s been good today, but she’s been peeing and pooping outside the box lately. I looked up, with Google’s AI, how to clean up after a cat's mess in the bathroom. It came up with some pretty good suggestions. We’ll see how that goes. My parent might get in touch with Rosie’s vet to see what more we can do about it.

Went to Diablo’s tonight. I got their Diablo’s fries without onions, guacamole, and sour cream. It was like nachos but with fries. It was huge! (Fries themselves were huge!) Very good, though. The fries seemed to have a slightly spicy seasoning. I think I ate around a 1/3 of it. It’ll be a lot for tomorrow’s lunch. Got churros for dessert. Those were good too. 

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4th of Cheshvan

Had a bed bath today. It went faster than usual. One reason being I got a haircut on Saturday. So, less vigorously washing my hair. She used the dry soap stuff on it. She said I didn’t need the regular shampoo this time. You don’t have to rinse that stuff off. She said it’s good this time considering my stylist washed my hair already. Another reason was I’ve been taking my towels down and back up. Since she’s not doing that anymore, it cuts out some time. It ended up being around 12 minutes.

 

I got up the nerve to call Molina. I was on hold for a little while. Their ‘menu’ before that was awful. It took close to 30 minutes in total. There was a lot of waiting for them to figure out stuff. I can stay on KP (Kaiser Permanente) through Molina, and they switched me to staying on it. Yay! I wasn’t sure if they would let me. I’ll get another card with my primary doctor’s name as my pcp, their address, phone number, etc. I might have to visit her for my meds, etc. to transfer. I forgot to ask about that. There’s still no premiums, copays, etc. Hopefully I did all this correctly. I asked as many questions as I could think of. At least I won’t have to have a totally different medical team/facilities. 

I didn’t think I slept very well last night. However, I got 1 hr 8 min of deep sleep in. I usually get like 20 min at most. 

It was really raining and windy this morning. It’s stopped raining and the wind has died down since. I was nervous that the power would go out earlier. 

I’ll have to go for my walk earlier than before tomorrow, since it gets dark earlier now. I was going out at around 5:15pm. Now it might be around 4pm or so. Today I walked for 10 minutes inside instead. Hopefully I’ll go out tomorrow. 

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15th of Tevet

It's been a long time since my last post. Probably the longest gap in posts. I hope to get back into it. Although, it won't be the same. Interesting using this computer again. 

My last scans were in October. Everything came back fine. No progression, and if I remember correctly, they didn't even see the lung nodule from before. My next ones (CT and full bone) will be next month. I had to call and make an appointment with the infusion center there in order to get the IV in through ultrasound. It seems to be the only way to get it in. They always have a hard time even with that. I'm nervous that they'll find something this time on my CT scan. Had a nightmare where they said the cancer had spread to my liver and lungs. Also, with the full bone scan, that it had progressed. It hasn't progressed in a while. In the dream I had to switch to a chemo that was through an IV. I had to sit there for about 6 hours until it was done. I had weird side effects, too. 

Had an appointment with my primary care doctor in October. Hadn't seen her in-person in about 2 years. The main focus was on recertifying me for insurances through my parent. I'm on her plan as a dependent. They have paperwork for a doctor to fill out. I was nervous, but around the end of December, I got a letter saying I was approved. So, I still get health, dental, and vision through it. The new plan for coverage started this month. The only downside is now there's a copay for all my meds and things. We had met the deductible or something, so we didn't have a copay for a while. I'll probably meet it up again quickly. It's nice they have a special card that covers medical expenses. Although, it's sometimes weird what it considers as medical. It's handy. 

We also talked about my urine incontinence. I know, gross, but it's something I have to live with at the moment. I'll get the urge, and then not have much time to get to a bathroom. It's embarrassing. She suggested that I get pads. I'm still trying them out. Not sure which absorbency is best. I think it feels more 'normal' to try the pads rather than the underwear. Those would feel more like diapers. Not good. She also said I should try going to the bathroom on a schedule. So, I've been trying to do it either before or after meals. It's a little better that way, but I have to remember. 

I also brought up my painful toes/feet. She said I had toenail fungus on every toe except one. It's bad in both my big toes. She tried to clip my toenails for me. She didn't even want to touch my big toes. The toenails are looking pretty gnarly now. My toes hurt a lot as well as the middle of my feet. So much so, it hurts to walk. Feels like I'm walking on hard pointy rocks. I'm walking even less now because of it. My primary sent a referral to see a podiatrist, and I've already made an appointment. That will be the end of this month. Hopefully, they can help me. 

I've been having issues with recurring uti's. The last one was just a couple of weeks ago. I also had one that was in between that and my primary appointment in October. They seem to be happening more often. I went to Urgent Care, like usual, for it. This time they were a lot more thorough. They were surprised about how dehydrated I was. They put an IV in me, after a few tries, and ran fluids and antibiotics through it. They did a lot of blood tests. One of them being for lactate. They had to get it without a tourniquet. It can indicate sepsis. I was high the first time, so they had to do it again. The second time they had to do it on my chest near my left shoulder. That was weird. No other spot was working, though. That ended up even higher. They wanted to do it again because of that. It was just too much, and it was starting to snow a lot. We had to leave. They let me go with a pill-form of antibiotics, and a promise that I'll talk to my primary about it. I don't think I actually had sepsis. I didn't have a fever for one thing.

I had a phone appointment with my primary after that. She suggested some things to help. I thought there were 2 things that I could easily do. That being cranberry and d-mannose supplements. One is supposed to make it harder for bacteria to stick, and one makes it more acidic. Both said helps with cleaning the area. So I got them both. They're huge pills. I had to split the doses up. They wanted me to take 2 capsules of the cranberry and 4 capsules of the d-mannose. I'm doing 1 cranberry and 2 d-mannose twice a day. The d-mannose pills smell really bad. I didn't know they'd also have calories. It's also interesting that they're both put out by Azo. I didn't know they did other meds. So far so good. I don't think I've had another uti. Maybe this is all I need. Although, I have a lot of pills now. I could make meals out of them.

My meds and pain of walking have made me gain quite a bit of weight. It's frustrating. Recently, I decided to go back to the way I used to eat, and doing sit-ups at least. I think I've lost a little bit in the last couple of weeks because of that. The way I used to eat meaning only having 1200-1600 calories during the week, and pretty much whatever I want during the weekend (and holidays). I try to eat 5 meals a day, and want them roughly even. So, 240-320 calories each. I tend to eat less with snacks, and more with meals like dinner. It's a little difficult. It was a bit eye-opening with some things. Plus, I have to be careful with things like bananas that tend to be calorie-packed. I'm up to 10 sit-ups twice a day. Might keep that up for a while, and then do 15 twice a day. I do them a little after I wake up (after going to the bathroom and having breakfast), and when I get into bed just before trying to sleep. I did around similar times the last time I was into it. It's been a while. I also want to get back into walking, but it hurts so much. Maybe with the podiatrist's help I can do it. I want to start off with small walks, and then work my way up to the 2-mile ones I was doing before. At least 2 of those a day would be great. I might get an Apple Watch soon, and that can help a lot with this health stuff. I want to feel better and healthier. 

We've also been into eating out at restaurants lately. I can still do that with the way I want to eat, and probably would be best to do it during the weekends. I'll most likely have more leftovers, but that's ok. We've tried a lot of new ones. Some have been great, others just ok. It's another thing for me to look forward to. (We've also been going to restaurants we haven't been to in a long time.) Oh, Elmer's isn't around anymore. A Denny's moved in. I'm still not used to it. I miss Elmer's. One of the server's from Elmer's is now with Maynard's, a restaurant we tried not too long ago. It was interesting catching up with him. I was surprised he was there. It was ok there. The last 'new' restaurant, or at least new to us, we went to was a Mongolian BBQ place. It wasn't outstanding or anything. I thought it was good. I had the chicken dumplings, which were apparently pot stickers. I got their honey walnut chicken. That was sweet, savory, and smooth. Had little candied walnuts. 

I'm still using Duolingo. I'm studying Spanish through it. It seems so much easier than I expected when I started. I don't particularly like Duolingo's new layout. I don't even think they're sure of it yet. Things keep changing. I liked the way it was before. I've been keeping up with my streak since I did Yiddish. It's like 640 days now. I only forgot about it on New Year's Eve, and they used one of my freeze streaks to keep it going. First time really using that. I think I have like 3 of them. I think that's the max number you can have at once. I try to do 4 lessons, and usually get 100% on it. It's only when it's questionable or unclear when I get them wrong. I've flagged quite a few sentences during this course, because of that. 

I've gotten back into reading as well. You can see how many I finished recently on the side of the blog. Everything from Shadow of the Lions by Christopher Swann up is what I've read since December of 2021. Close to a year ago. That's 16 books. I thought that was pretty good for someone who hasn't been into reading in a long time. 

I'm trying to get back into anime. I started that back up again only a couple of days ago. Before that, it's been since November 2021. Roughly the same time as my last post on here. I'm so far behind. There are so many interesting looking shows that came out in the meantime. I'm not sure how long I can keep up getting back into watching anime now. As it is I might not watch it today. I managed to watch the 1000th episode of One Piece yesterday, I think. I can't believe it's over 1000 episodes now. It'll probably go on forever. 

I've been a lot more into Netflix shows. I've watched a lot, and it's another thing for me to look forward to. I finished 1899 recently. That was interesting. It felt like they were trying to do more with it than they had. Some of it was predictable, but there were a lot of twists. I'm not sure what they'll do with it if there's a 2nd season. I'm currently watching Devil in Ohio. It's just been ok. It has an actress that I like, and am glad she's in something different. I don't remember her first name, but she played the main actress in Bones. She seems more flexible and 'normal' in this. I don't exactly know where this show is going, but it's interesting at least. I'm looking more forward to Wednesday. I liked the Addams Family. Wednesday, Morticia, and Gomez were my fave characters. One on Wednesday seems right up my alley, then.

We've recently been into getting lottery tickets. We've been getting them usually once a week. It's now up to $1.1 billion. I can't imagine even having half of that amount. I've worked out the annuity for some of them, just for fun. (First year would be just over $8 million.) I think if we did win, I'd get half and go for the annuity option. I'll probably not live very long, but I'd still get a huge chunk of money every year. I could pass it on to someone after I die. I don't know who that would be. There's a lot of things I'd be able to do with that amount of money. I could donate a lot, get rid of my student loan debt, get my own nice and cozy house in Seattle, have even better health insurance, and more. 

I wanted to go to a Hanukkah party this year. They were going to have public lighting at a local mall, and then have a party at their synagogue. I hadn't seen people from that congregation in a long time. Plus, their spiritual leader (not quite a rabbi yet) got in touch with me, and wanted me to meet another ace Jew. He was new to their congregation and was feeling really isolated. The 'rabbi' started an email with both of us and introduced us to each other. I responded, but he never did. Anyways, I had another reason to go. The weather was crazy that week. The day they were supposed to have it, there was a lot of snow and ice on top of the snow. Thick ice. Not something we see in this region often. So dangerous, they were telling people not to go outside on the roads unless it was an emergency. They cancelled the party at the synagogue, and thought the roads would still be ok enough for the public lighting. I don't how the lighting was. I wished they just pushed the party to like the last day of Hanukkah. The snow and ice were practically gone by then. They were going to have latkes, donuts, singing, and bags of goodies. I don't know what the bags of goodies would have had, but I'm sure it would have been fun. We didn't have latkes this year. Didn't even have donuts for that matter. I didn't feel very well, and only lit the candles for a few nights off and on. I know it's not a big holiday, but it didn't feel like the usual year for it. I did have some fried things at least. 

It was just my parent and I for our New Year Eve celebration. We used to go to a couple's (friends of the family) place for it. Along with other holiday dinners throughout the year. Ever since Covid hit, they stopped having those dinners. It's felt weird with just us. At least with NYE, we can have whatever snacks we want for it. I got Ruffles chips with French onion dip, pickled herring with Breton crackers, and chocolate covered cherries. I think those are pretty good for NYE. Oh, and of course we got sparkling apple cider. That's like my champagne. I can't have alcohol. At least it's something bubbly. We watched the fireworks at the Space Needle on TV. Before that, it was NYE shows from around the world/country. The fireworks didn't seem that impressive this time. The drones were interesting, but also distracting. 

27th of Cheshvan

It’s been a long time since my last post. I hardly ever go on my computer, and I could only blog through that before. It looks like Blogger now supports smartphones. I don’t think they have an app still, but I’m using Chrome for it. We’ll see how this goes. If it works out well, I can try to get into blogging again. Yay! I’ve been posting a lot about my health stuff on facebook. It’s kind of turned into a health blog that way. I also updated some of the lists on here. It was a little more difficult to do than on my computer, because of the order I put things in. For instance, I like to have the most recent show I finished at the top in my Netflix list. It likes to put the most recent entry at the bottom. Takes a little more time. Oh well. 

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but I had tried out the Celebrate States monthly subscription for a while. That was kind of fun. Each month they send you stuff from a certain state. Each state’s a mystery until close to that month. They reveal it kind of early on facebook, but if you’re not following that, you don’t know. With each state they featured I tried to ‘virtually’ visit it. I’m a little behind on that, but it’s fun. I’m going through Texas right now. 

Anyways, they sometimes sent things like brochures/magazines, coloring pages with the state flag/flower/etc., and a map of what it produces and the counties. Interesting stuff. For my ‘visits’ I used those brochures/magazines and Atlas Obscura online. Now, it’s mainly Atlas Obscura. They have interesting places. 

Since I filled out a questionnaire saying I have cats, they would send a cat toy occasionally. That was nice. Some of the items were interesting. I got candles and soaps often. My parent thought the Syracuse black garlic salt was a good find, and might get more of that. I liked some of the tea it had. I don’t regret trying it out, however it started losing it’s value for me with the last few boxes. Seemed like we weren’t getting as much, items weren’t as good, and they stopped putting cat toys in it. The coloring pages were too kid-like, too. 

So, I decided to stop getting it yesterday. Apparently, they’re sending me one more box. It’ll be this month’s Thanksgiving themed one. I think it’ll be Pennsylvania. I don’t exactly know, but I thought I saw something on it. I don’t know why I’d be getting one more box. It’s not like I double ordered or something. I suppose it’s not bad. 

I decided to order another states thing called 50 States of Mine. There was only the premium box option. It’s only a little under $7 more than the Celebrate States one. Not that much of a difference. It’s more food based, no ‘kid’ things, usually has 8 or 9 items (which is more than CS had), has things that are related to what the state’s known for, and just seems better. This is based off of watching youtube vids on it and reviews. If I don’t like it, or the value isn’t really worth it, I can always try something else. There’s an Irish box I could try or others. Apparently, the box for this month is Kentucky. So fitting. It’s my birth month and that’s the state I was born in. Seems like it was destined for me to try. We’ll see. 

I’m still getting the Treats monthly subscription box. I like it a lot. It’s fun to see what they have for each country. Again, it features a different country’s snacks every month. October’s was Croatia and Serbia. First time they had 2 countries. It seemed like they were pretty evenly split with where each snack came from. The oddest one to me, seemed oddly one of my faves. It’s called Smoki, and it’s peanut flavored cornmeal pieces. They described them as shaped like peanuts. They looked more like cashews. They used real peanuts in it. It had a strong peanut and salty flavor. Interesting. If I didn’t like peanuts it would have been nasty. The worst tasting of the box sounded like it’d be good. It was sandwich cookies with chocolate in the middle. I don’t know how they messed that up, but I almost threw up trying it. The chestnut chocolate bar was strong, but pretty good. I haven’t had chestnuts that often. The only other time I think I’ve tried them was someone I know makes a stuffing with them. I hate it in that. Maybe it’s the way they make it? I don’t know. 

There was a time where my pain got much worse. I had to be readmitted into palliative care to get it back under control. It seems my body had grown more tolerant to the morphine. I was trying to sleep back in my old bed. I didn’t know if they were going to take the hospital bed because I was out of the program for a little while. My pain increased while I did that in my back, pelvis, and neck. The neck was new, so they were worried about that. So it was a combo of my meds and sleeping in a different bed. Turns out they weren’t going to take the hospital bed, so I went back to it. The pain was slightly better with that. We ended up increasing my dose of morphine by quite a lot. So much, apparently my pc doctor was worried I could overdose and ordered Narcan for me. My parent would have to use it to revive me. That doctor ordered it after they exited me from palliative care again. That was odd. Didn’t tell me about it, until I pressured them about it. It seems I’m stuck with sleeping in the hospital bed. It’s in the family room, which is an odd place to sleep. At least my pain is better. 

I recently had a CT scan, full bone scan, and neck MRI. The neck one was because of that new pain. Everything was stable. Been stable for a while. It’s not exactly the best, because there’s no improvement. It’s not getting better. Just the same. We’re trying to get it to NED or No Evidence of Disease. I might feel better if there was some sort of improvement. I wanted a second opinion from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. I was told to wait for them to call me. They never did. There’s got to be something more to try. I just feel like I’m constantly waiting for the next tests, and just keep taking my oral chemo. There’s got to be a trial or something more I can do. 

I started xgeva several months ago. Last month was my 3rd dose of it. It’s supposed to strengthen my bones. Most people with bone mets need something like this. It’s a shot instead of infusion. It really hurts as it goes in. I get it in the back of my left upper arm. The nurse likes to go super slow with it, so it draws out the pain. She thinks it minimizes the pain. It doesn’t. It’s so much fluid, my arm gets sloshy. Hard to describe. I haven’t really had side effects, other then the pain at the injection site. It might have affected my dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), but we’re not sure. If it did, it’s a rare thing. 

About a month ago, Tasha, one of our cats, passed away. I know she was around 17 years old, but this was sudden. She literally just collapsed and was gone. She was asking to be put up on the banister to get to her food and water bowls, and seemed so happy. I looked away for a sec and was getting ready to pick her up, when she suddenly collapsed. She made a howling sound. We weren’t sure if she was gone and took her to the emergency vet clinic. They came back and told us she was already gone. It was hard and I miss her. We have her ashes in a nice looking box urn now. I think Rosie, our other cat, still looks for her sometimes. They did not like each other, but I think Rosie just wanted to play with her most of the time. Now it’s just Rosie. I think she likes being the only one now. 

My birthday’s coming up on November 7th. We got Rosie from the shelter around my birthday, so it’s kind of like hers, too. She got a birthday card from Chewy. That was nice. Chewy’s where we get her insulin from. Maybe she’d like a tuna cake or something. I’m not sure about what I want. We’re going to the Oak Table for brunch. That’s a nice place. I’d like to go somewhere for dinner, but I’m not sure where. I don’t know what I want to do for my birthday, but feel like I should do something. Maybe go to some sort of museum? I feel like each birthday’s even more important now, since I have stage 4 cancer. It gives a different perspective on birthdays. My parent keeps telling me to not postpone the fun. I’m trying to have as much fun as I can, but sometimes I don’t know what to do. 

I finished the Yiddish course through Duolingo. That was interesting. I tried their Hebrew one again, and it was awful. I’m doing their French one now. It’s much better and fleshed out, of course. They have stories and a podcast on top of the course. Much more developed. Lots of speaking exercises, which is what the other courses need. I took all the French classes that were available in high school. I still remember a lot. It’s kind of a weird language. I almost took a proficiency test back then that could have given me college credits and a trip to Paris if I passed. My teacher was encouraging me to take it, but I was too scared of it. I should have tried it. I always had good grades in it. I have a just over 200-day streak now on there. Longest I’ve ever had. Should be interesting to see how long I can keep it up. 

I’ve been getting buzzcuts for about a year now. Ever since my hairstylist heard about my cancer, she hasn’t charged me for it. She feels like it’s something she can do for me. It’s nice, but it still feels odd. Last time my hair grew much faster than usual. There was a lot. Having a buzzcut is so much easier to manage. I don’t even have to brush it. It’s nice. 

We got a freezer a few months ago. That’s been really handy. I’ve gotten things like blueberry pancakes, bean/rice/cheese burritos, carne asada burritos (from Trader Joe’s, and one of the best), teriyaki rice bowls, chicken melts with pita, and more. Good stuff for throughout the day. A variety of new things to try. It has made it easier to keep track of my calories and other nutrients. I don’t get as many dinners from the local markets as I did before, which is good. Those are like made for 2 people, but look like single servings, so it’s hard. 

29th of Nisan

It's been a long time since I lasted posted here. Didn't want it to be this long between posts. Hopefully, I'll get to posting more often. I've been posting a lot to places like Facebook, Tumblr, and PatientsLikeMe. They've kind of become more of a way for people to know what's going on with me. It's a bit more difficult to post on here, because I can only really do it through my desktop. There isn't an app for this. At least, not a reliable one. I haven't really used my computer in a while, either. Trying to stay downstairs as much as I can, and my computer's upstairs in my room. My room doesn't even feel like my room anymore. It's odd that I now sleep downstairs in the family room with a hospital bed in the middle of it. They want me to avoid upstairs as much as possible because of my bone mets, and it's easier to break a bone if I fall. I miss being up here, though. 

Yesterday marked the anniversary of when I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. It's crazy that it's been a year. Feels like longer. A lot has happened. At least, I can look at it like I survived a year. Many people don't make it past 5 years after diagnosis. I hope I can make it that long, and surpass it by a lot. I want to live for as long as I can. Hopefully, my quality of life will still be relatively good for a long time. 

I didn't do Passover this year. That's twice in a row of not doing it. Last year I was recovering from falling in the shower and breaking my right shoulder, and I had just learned about having cancer. I think it was later that year. That's another thing. It kind of crept up on me this year. Last month was rather expensive, and I didn't want to add on to it. I also was just not feeling it this year. Even a month beforehand, when I usually try to start getting the food for it, it just didn't feel right. I'm hoping next year I can feel up to it. If I do it early enough, I can find everything I need for the holiday and not worry about cooking much during it. I've felt so fatigued that it's hard for me to do things like cook. That holiday is very cooking-centric. However, like I mentioned, if it's early enough, I can get most of it already prepared online. No need to make my own things like cereal that way. It's one of my fave holidays. 

Kind of along the same line, I recently started Duolingo's Yiddish course. It just came out a few days ago. Feels like another way to connect with my ancestors who spoke it. It's interesting that I tried their Scottish Gaelic course when it came out, too. Some of my other ancestors spoke that. There aren't many speakers of either language today. There might be more who speak Yiddish than Scottish Gaelic today. People are trying to change that with both languages, though. I think that's awesome! It was interesting that on the day Yiddish went live, Duolingo had a thing where if you order a bagel in Yiddish at participating stores, you'd get it for free. I wish they had one that was local to me. I could have tried it. So far, I'm doing pretty well with it. Only missed a few questions/sentences out of 7 units, and leveling out 4 of those. (There are 5 levels with around 5 lessons for each unit.) With most of them, I've gotten perfect scores. I started out on the totally new to it trek. They start you off with the letters that way. They added in actual words and sentences earlier than I expected. It would have been even greater if they also had speaking exercises. I know it's still in beta, but hopefully they can add that in the future. I'm just happy I get to be exposed a bit more to it. My plan for Duolingo before is going to be put on hold until I finish their Yiddish course. I've wanted to do this for a while. The plan before was with every new Treats monthly subscription box, change to the language that that country speaks. So, if it's something like India, start learning Hindi. I thought that would be a great way to learn languages, and learn more about the country they feature. I did that last month when it was on India. Hindi was very interesting, but I don't think their course for it was even as good as their Yiddish course so far. The month before that I tried Bahasa Indonesia on there. Even though it was Malaysian snacks that time, I couldn't find any good Bahasa Malaysia apps and it wasn't on Duolingo. Bahasa Indonesia is supposed to be similar, so I went with that. Before that, I was trying to do Welsh. Got really tired of it quickly. Hopefully, I can stick with Yiddish all the way to the end of the course, and keep it up every day. 

I went to the dentist for the first time in roughly 15 years recently. I finally got dental insurance last year, and just hadn't gone yet. My oncologist really wanted me to go before I started xgeva. Xgeva's a bone strengthening med. It's like zometa, only not an infusion. This one's in shot form. She thinks it'll be better for me after I ended up feeling really sick with the first zometa infusion. Anyways, both these meds can cause dental problems. One of those being jaw necrosis. They don't want me to go through major dental procedures while on it. The dentist poked around and looked at x-rays of my teeth that first visit. He said the only problem he saw was that I had cavities. 7 of them. So, I'll need 7 fillings. Not major dental stuff, so he ok'd me taking xgeva, and sent a fax to my oncologist. The next time I saw him he did a deep cleaning. It was painful at times. He prescribed a toothpaste and mouth rinse afterwards. I read that they help with preventing more cavities, remineralizes, and helps to prevent worsening of gingivitis. That's kind of good. I'm only supposed to use the mouth rinse for 10 days. The toothpaste has an odd flavor. It says it's fruit-flavored, but tastes like bubble gum. I'd prefer to get back to my other toothpaste in the future. That one has a better flavor and is for sensitive teeth. My teeth have always been sensitive. Even when they were super healthy. The insurance didn't cover those prescriptions, but they weren't as expensive as I expected. So that was a plus. The next time I'll see him he'll do a 'tissue check'. Not sure what that entails. Then, he'll get to doing 2 of the fillings. The only problem I have with this dental place is they continue to call and text my parent about my appointments. They're not contacting me. I wrote my phone number on the intake form. They somehow got my number before I gave it to them, since they called while I was filling it out. I brought this up to them at the end of my appointment last time, and specifically said call or text me, not my parent. They started to say they didn't have it. I brought up that it's on the intake form, and said my number again for them. My parent got a text reminder of my next appointment that night. The next time they text her, I'll call them about it. It's kind of ridiculous. I don't know why they're contacting her and not me. It feels like maybe they're afraid or something? I didn't answer that time they called me because I had so much stuff on my lap and I was in the midst of finishing that form. So weird. 

We recently found out that Rosie, our cat, has diabetes. My parent was giving her insulin for a while. The insulin was human and pretty expensive. One little bottle is $300, but that's supposed to last 6 months. It still is a lot. We also changed her food to a higher protein one that needs a prescription. Tasha, our other cat, loves that stuff, too. We were told last Monday that she may have beaten her diabetes. It might have gone into remission. That way she might not need insulin anymore. The food might be enough for now. Her readings for the glucose monitor were much lower than before. They monitored her at the vet clinic for a day. That'll be great if she doesn't need the shots anymore. 

On Monday, I had a CT and full bone scan done. It was an exhausting day. They took forever to get the IV in. I came close to passing out at one point. They told me last time that I should make an appointment just beforehand with one of the people from the infusion center. That way they can use an ultrasound to find a vein quickly. I thought I'd be fine this time. Plus, I couldn't find the card of the person I was supposed to call. I shouldn't have to make another appointment for before it either. They gave me a card of another person from the infusion center for next time. Hopefully, I'll remember. I have to have them done every 3 months. The results came back really quickly. They seem great, except for 2 things in the findings section of the CT scan. That being a small fat-containing umbilical hernia, and focal fluid collections or masses. I'll bring that up with my oncologist the next time I see her. Like I said, the rest of it looked great. Even the bone scan is stable. There's no progression, but there's also no shrinkage or anything disappearing. My lungs are clear now, too. They saw a lung nodule last time that they were worried about. They suspected that it was a met, and now they're not sure. It's gone now at least. 

Home Health stopped having their aides come by to give me a shower. It was right after my home aide had quit, and my palliative care nurse had just gotten back from vacation. It shocked him, and he said it made him stammer. I think the way it was done wasn't right. I didn't like them in the first place, and wanted to be able to do it on my own for a while. They didn't give me any 'tools' to try it on my own beforehand. One home aide suggested I buy a long shower brush. I can't reach my back, neck, upper left arm, and anything from the knee down on my own without any tools. That's still quite a lot. I wasn't able to get the brush before they stopped coming to see if it would actually help me. It would have been best to have at least one more time of them coming by, seeing how I handle a brush, and maybe tell me some tips on how to better use it. That would have been much better. I like how the manager told me I can get back into the program whenever I need them. Well, I needed them right then. I have been able to do it on my own with the brush since then. It really wears me out, though. 

I decided to stop getting the Arts in Letters monthly subscription. They were very interesting, but I just couldn't keep up with them after a while. I love the idea of them, too. I hope the person behind it can keep it up. I looked up other monthly subscription boxes to replace it. I decided on Celebrate States. This is a very interesting one. I love learning about states. Each box comes with a ton of info on it, and quite a lot of items. Each one is personalized according to what you filled out on the quiz just before ordering it. Since I said I had cats, there was a cat toy in the first box. I don't know if every box will have something cat-related, but that's nice. You had a choice of either Florida or North Carolina for the first box. I chose Florida. There was a nice smelling candle, homemade soap, honey, teas, gum, a shell, goat's milk lotion, a rub for meat, and more. It had more things in it than I was expecting. I think the next state is California, since they mentioned it on their Facebook page. After the first month, it's a mystery as to what the next state will be. I also virtually visited places that sounded interesting, which I found in the guidebook and magazines that came with it. I might do the same thing with future states. Gives me something to do, at least. 

A friend sent me a box filled with things. It was essentially a care package to help keep me preoccupied. I didn't expect to get something like that. There's certainly a lot to it. There's a ton of chocolate, a drawing book, an art book, coloring books, fun socks, teas, colored pencils, markers, a candle (Peruvian lime scented), ramen, a cat treat, a huge jigsaw puzzle featuring birds, and more. It was very nice of them. The only problem was finding places for everything. I really appreciated it, though. Apparently, another friend is going to send me something, too. That being Girl Scout cookies and gift cards. They don't have to send me these things, but it's all so nice and sweet of both of them. 

I tried to get into my regular clothes recently. I normally wear my pajamas. Even when I go out. Found out I lost weight everywhere but the area they did my hysterectomy in. My shirt was baggier than the last time I wore it. My jeans were baggy except for the top, where I couldn't zip it up. I just hope I don't get something like my mom did. She had 2 abdominal tumors. She lost weight at the time, the first tumor was detected, everywhere but her belly. This is different, though. Maybe that hernia has something to do with it, too. I think it has to do with how the area has healed since the hysterectomy. It's made more of a pooch. If I want to try wearing jeans now I need to get a bigger sized pair. It's weird that the legs of those jeans will be super baggy that way. I've managed for the couple days lately, that I wanted to wear regular clothes, to wear a shirt, pajama bottoms, and regular socks. It's better than before, I guess. 

At some point, I want to get back to my walks. This week might be best for that. It's going to get up to and around 70 degrees at some point. That's going to be nice. It's been so cold still. The fleece/sherpa blend blanket I got not long ago has really helped at night. If I start doing my walks when it's nice out, I might be more likely to keep it up. We'll see. I hope to eat closer to what I used to, as well. It's a little difficult with having the to-go meals for dinners, and all that chocolate. However, I could halve some of those dinners. With the chocolate, I'm trying to just have one serving at a time. Even with that, it adds quite a few calories. I'm trying to also give myself a break sometimes. Keeping my 'splurge' days would be good. Those being Friday night through Sunday. My palliative care nurse said I really shouldn't care too much about eating healthier. Just do what I can, but with my situation, it's ok to indulge more with things. I want to feel healthier, though. 

I want to get back to watching things, too. It took me a while to get through the last 2 things I finished through Netflix. I'm almost done with The School Nurse Files. I think there's only one more episode left. Hopefully, I can finish that soon. The next show on my list is Betaal, which is a short Indian zombie show. The School Nurse Files is a supernatural Korean one. It's kind of eccentric. I think it was based on a manhwa or Korean comic. It's a bit surreal as a live-action show. I also want to get back into watching anime. I've been somewhat catching up again with One Piece, but I've pretty much stopped watching other things. I'm about a year behind on anime I'd like to watch. That's quite a lot. Plus, during this season, there are a ton of shows that I love that started their next season. It feels weird to be so far behind. Hopefully, I'll get into it again.