2nd of Kislev

I forgot last time to say what happened on getting a new number/card, and more info, on KP. Apparently, they don’t give out new numbers if plans change within KP. Unless you leave the state. All my medical records will transfer over as well. So, no running around trying to get at least my meds onto the new plan. My social worker says it already shows up that I have Medicaid with them. I might not have to worry when I fully change to the new plan. Yay!

I had my last bed bath with a home aide last Tuesday. Normally it’s every Monday and Thursday. She had off on Monday, and Thursday was a holiday. She was planning on trying to squeeze me in for both Tuesday and Friday. I guess Friday didn’t work out for her. She wanted me to friend her on facebook to stay connected. I tried to, but her settings don’t allow me to friend her. So, I messaged her about it. She’ll have to friend me first. It’s a little weird, but she was nice. It’s ok if I don’t hear from her.

I did my own bed bath today. I did it this morning. I used my shower brush for a lot of it. Since it’s hard to reach some areas with my right shoulder. (I broke it in 2020.) I also had wipes that helped. I had my sock aid ready to put my socks on myself. That’s hard to do without it. I still have all the products she used. I ordered them, so I can just order them again when I run out of them. I’ll have to be sure to remember to use lotion. I did remember this time. I’m super dry, and I think she said it’s worse now that it’s close to wintertime. I’m not sure if I’ll do my bed baths more often, or keep it to Mondays and Thursdays. It’s not like I sweat a lot now. Might be different during the summer. I think I got myself cleaner than when she did it. (Got the bed wet in a little area. I'll just try to be more careful and cover that area with the towels more.) I think it took me a little longer. That might get better over time.

Went to Thanksgiving at one of my parent’s friends’ place. It took about 1.5 hours each way to get there and back by car. Kind of a ways. The turkey was really good. The rest of the food was ok. Got to have interesting conversations. There was a couple with 2 children, my parent and I, the hostess’ parents, and the hostess herself. There were supposed to be 10, but it looks like there was just 9 of us. I didn’t know anyone. (Other than my parent, of course.) There was a dog. I think her name was Heart. She had a sweater on that didn’t really fit her anymore. She also had a painful gum issue, I think. The kids were off the walls. Loud and rambunctious. The boy decided to bring his train under the table and play with it. Eventually he started rubbing my legs under the table and put his head out on the side. It was really bizarre and inappropriate. There was also the time when that family was about to leave but the girl got upset, threw her jacket off, and said she was staying. I tried to stay away from them at the end, and gave them as much space as I could. We left so quickly we forgot our utensils for the pies and the bag. (We were leaving the pies behind. We had brought apple and pumpkin pies.) Maybe she can do something up here, and give them to us on the way or something. My parent said we could just buy new stuff and not worry about it. I don’t know if this will turn into an annual thing. It would be interesting if it did. It’s been a while since we were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner with friends. It was nice that way.

Managed to go to both local markets yesterday. I got a smoked turkey and dill havarti sandwich for dinner that night. Cherry crunch pie for dessert. I plan to have a salmon and pesto pasta dinner tonight. It has asparagus and cherry tomatoes as well. I think it’s pretty healthy. I’ll have a Biscoff cookie butter cake for dessert. It’s new and sounds amazing! Didn’t do the lottery tickets because the machine was acting up, and I didn’t want to wait for it to be fixed. Maybe we’ll go back soon.

Didn’t expect to pour cereal all over the floor this morning. I might have enough left in the box for a few days. I tried cleaning it up with a broom and dustpan. Still heard a little crunching afterwards. 

I was going to have a cherry mixed fruit cup with lunch. (I usually have some form of fruit cup.) It was hard to get out of its package. I noticed there was some weird hard brown sticky stuff on it. It was so sticky, I couldn’t open it. The others in the sleeve looked the same, so I had to throw them out. I had mandarin oranges in gel instead. Luckily I have 2 more things of fruit cups besides the orange one. I just feel like I wasted one package of them. It’s not my fault though. There probably was some sort of leak and it got all over the cups. Today’s been weird. 

I managed to get an outside walk in, along with my 2 indoor walks. Tuesday's the start of the last week of my current walk. I'm going from the mailboxes, all the way to the tennis court, and back home. Oh, I also check the mail afterwards, so technically I do go to the mailboxes again. The next one I'll do is twice around that same area. I'm not sure if I can do it twice, but I'll try. Hopefully I can get the last week in with going outside for them. If I don't go out, I do 15 minutes inside. I'll double that when I can't go out with the 'new' way of doing it. 

Oncology called me. I was busy with something so it went to voicemail. They made an appointment for me. This will be to go over the CT scan I'll get done on January 2nd. It's with a different oncologist. The one I was assigned to is Dr. Nik (they shorten it to that), and this will be a Dr. Stephen. Maybe Dr. Nik will be on vacation? (Hopefully he's not leaving too. So many doctors seem to be leaving or moving around.) I hope this one will be ok. Usually they want lab work done like the week before. They didn't mention that this time. I might call them back at some point to make sure.

I plan to get back into anime and Netflix shows. I still have quite a few anime that I haven't finished from a few years ago. The list for what I want to see is long. I have quite a lot on my Netflix list as well. 

Pinterest (again I did not make these. Just wanted to share):

Youtube:

26th of Cheshvan

My nurse plans to discharge me from palliative care (pc) this week. My home aide did my last bed bath today. She might come on Friday, we don’t know. Most likely won’t. It’s usually on Monday and Thursday. She had off this Monday, and Thursday’s a holiday. At least I’ll be somewhat clean for the holiday. I have a plan for doing it myself. I might even get cleaner. My shower brush will come in handy. As my home aide was leaving, she said that I can friend her on facebook. She said she doesn’t normally say it, but that would be nice to keep in touch. I don’t know if I will or not. I searched for her, just to see. (I was surprised I found her.) She’s right, she doesn’t do much on there. She might react to things though. She was nice, but it might be a little strange.

My social worker said she’ll call me sometime this week. It’ll be about being in touch with another social worker who deals with cancer patients on Medicaid, I think.

They told me I can still stay in touch and call the pc doctor, even when I’m discharged from it. He never was very good at communicating. He keeps saying he’ll call me but never does. I don’t really trust him anymore. My primary doctor and oncologist would do a better job.

We didn’t get to go grocery shopping for the week during the weekend. We went to Central yesterday. On Sunday, my parent spent much of the day making a kosher Ukrainian borscht. All the meat in it was beef. There was quite a bit of vegetables, too. I think that was the first time I’ve had borscht. It seemed earthy. That might have been the beets. The only thing I didn’t like were the pieces of beef. They were a little too fatty for me. The sausage was good with it. Despite it being skimmed, it also left an oily film on my lips. That’s not a bad thing. It was pretty good.

I thought I was finally getting all my royalties from kdp/Amazon, but apparently some of it already went to the ‘state’ as unclaimed property. This is all on kdp or Amazon. I did what they asked me to do. I feel like they almost stole it from me. Luckily, there’s a claim you can file with the Department of Revenue to see if you have unclaimed ‘property’ or money. I shouldn’t have to give them the document that kdp gave me. The link will apparently disappear in 2 business days. I’ll download it to my computer just in case beforehand. They said I’ll get $33 from the US market. I’m not sure where they got the $33 from, if all of it went to the ‘state’. I got the royalty from the UK today. The $33 they say will be paid on 11/29. This is so weird. The Unclaimed Property Division emailed me back. They had a document of things that were unclaimed to me. Nothing on kdp. (Surprised they had anything.) I’ll try to upload the document kdp gave me to them and see what happens. I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it… Maybe if I don’t get anywhere with the Unclaimed Division, I can email kdp back. They said I could use the email to reply back, if I needed to.

For Thanksgiving we were told to bring pie. We might get apple and pumpkin pies. They’ll probably be good. I don’t know what else will be there. Hopefully foods I can have. There will be 10 people, 8 adults and 2 children. That’s not too bad. Maybe it’ll be a new tradition to go to this friend’s place for Thanksgiving. The only downside would be how far away it is from home. (I think she said it's in Lacey, which would be about a 1.5-hour drive.) We’ll see how it goes. It’s nice to be with people for it, though. It’s a different experience when it’s just my parent and I and Rosie. Nice but different. I hope the friends we used to visit for Thanksgiving have a good one too.

I managed to do an outside walk today. The weather was good. No rain or wind. A little cold and cloudy, but nice walking weather. A little kid in a van yelled hello as they went past me. That was odd, and looked like the kid was going to fall out of the window.

Rosie’s been good today, but she’s been peeing and pooping outside the box lately. I looked up, with Google’s AI, how to clean up after a cat's mess in the bathroom. It came up with some pretty good suggestions. We’ll see how that goes. My parent might get in touch with Rosie’s vet to see what more we can do about it.

Went to Diablo’s tonight. I got their Diablo’s fries without onions, guacamole, and sour cream. It was like nachos but with fries. It was huge! (Fries themselves were huge!) Very good, though. The fries seemed to have a slightly spicy seasoning. I think I ate around a 1/3 of it. It’ll be a lot for tomorrow’s lunch. Got churros for dessert. Those were good too. 

Pinterest (again, I did not make these, I'm just sharing them):

(The next 2 are from the same house plan. One's the main floor, the other 2nd floor):

Youtube: 

19th of Cheshvan

I almost forgot. As I was walking through the parking lot to get to Starbucks last week, a car almost ran me over. If I hadn’t started to run, it would have hit me. I had right of way there, and it’s not like I was walking too slow. It was another scary thing. It was pouring rain when we went back out of the café to the car.

We might go to one of my parent’s friends’ place for Thanksgiving. I think they only asked us to get a pie. My parent might get more than just one.

With the previous unit (just started the next one) in Spanish on Duolingo, they’re going over the word si. It’s interesting that with the accent mark as sí, it means yes. Without it as si, it means if. They started putting all the learners learning Spanish in one league this week. Last time I checked, I’m 3rd in the league.

Got my new Molina card. It’s KP through Molina, so they changed the primary care doctor and added Kaiser Permanente at the bottom. (I thought the number was changed, but it’s the same.) I looked more at it. I don’t see the KP stuff in the Molina app. I’m thinking of calling Molina tomorrow about it. I might call KP’s medicaid line as well. I’ll have to make an appointment to see my primary soon. She’s moving to their Silverdale location. They are closing the Poulsbo location. I don’t know how this all works. I guess I’ll find out.

Went to Starbucks again Saturday. I got their new iced pecan crunch oat milk latte and their new dark toffee bundt cake. Both were good. Didn’t get close to getting run over this time.

Went to Kachai Thai for dinner Friday night. I got chicken satay, beef fried rice without onions, and rice pudding for dessert. The pudding was the only dessert they had left. I couldn’t hear our server very well. That was kind of a headache. The pudding had purple rice and sweetened coconut milk. Was better than the last time I had it. No weird aftertaste.

I started a new month for walking. This time, for my outdoor walks, I’m walking all the way over to the tennis courts (starting with the mailbox side) and back once. Apparently, it’s only 1 or 2 min longer than what I was doing last month. I thought it would be more. I only was able to do it once so far. It’s either been too dark and/or too rainy. I’ve decided that when it’s like that, I’ll just do a 14 min or 15 min walk inside. I’m also still doing 2 5-min walks inside. It’s expected to be really rainy and windy today and tomorrow. Weather Underground said the winds will start at 2pm today. It didn’t. My parent said it might be at 6pm. We’ll see. (It already sounds like it's really raining outside right now.) I think the wind will be so strong that the power will probably go out. Since I wasn’t sure when it’ll be windy/rainy, I decided to do a 15 min walk inside. Just to be on the safe side. Don’t want to get out there, and suddenly get stuck in it.

Went to one of the markets (we still call it Central) on Sunday. Got some of my weekly stuff. I was going to get a cranberry supplement, but they didn’t have the one I got last time. I decided to get something else. It’ll last for 50 days at least.

I also got my toothpaste. Apparently they’re the only ones that sell it nearby. It’s Pronamel from Sensodyne, Alpine fresh flavor, and whitens teeth. Good for sensitive teeth, like mine. I’ve been using it as I’ve gotten back to brushing my teeth on a regular basis. Doing it twice a day. I watched a video on youtube talking about when the best time to brush is. (Plus it talked about other hygiene/health things.) They say it’s about an hour after a meal. 30 minutes is ok, but not less than that and it’s not as good. So, I’m doing it an hour after breakfast, and 30 minutes after my last snack, which is kind of close to my bedtime. I also used to use water to rinse it off, but I don’t anymore. Just spit as much of it out as I can. My teeth look the cleanest they’ve been in a long time. Things don’t irritate them much anymore either.

I got a smoked turkey and dill havarti sandwich for dinner. Also, found out they have turkey dinners now. I grabbed one. I wasn’t expecting to get 2 dinners from that market. I also got cherry crunch pie for dessert.

Went to Safeway yesterday. Got some Drano to help with the downstairs’ bathroom sink. (This was after Safeway and going back to Central. They didn't have it at Safeway. They also didn't have milk, and we needed that too. Interesting mix to go back to get.) It seemed to be pretty clogged. It got much better after last night. I got some more cash for the buses. $20 worth of $1 bills. A lot, and it’ll go for quite a few bus rides. I got a grilled salmon and pesto pasta dinner from there. It also has asparagus and cherry tomatoes. I think it’s pretty healthy. Got a tiramisu cake for dessert. Hopefully that will be good too. Got lottery tickets. Mega Millions jackpot is getting pretty big. It’ll be cool to win. The drawing is tonight.

Pinterest (again, I didn't make these. Just sharing. Thought it would be interesting. Some come from my dream home board):

(This one has a link that has tons of different walk-in closets):

Youtube: 

5th of Kislev

This is my wallpaper for December. It's Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler. Seemed good for this month since there's snow, and kind of fits my mood during it. I like Hanukkah a lot, but the Christmas stuff out there, no matter where you go 24/7, gets to be much. It's in your face and on blast. If you don't celebrate that holiday, it gets aggravating after a while. I'm happy when retail people or waiters say things like happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. It's more inclusive and doesn't throw a holiday that you don't celebrate on you. There's a holiday for pretty much everyone this time of year. Including New Year's Eve. I have no problem with friends celebrating it. In fact, I hope it's a great one, and that they knock themselves out with decorating and such. It's the public things that get me the most. (At malls, cafes, other stores, public schools, 'Santa' riding a fire engine through the neighborhood, whole downtown area decorated with Christmas stuff, etc.) Also, Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas. We don't have a holiday like that. Hanukkah is a minor holiday, also referred to as the Festival of Lights. It just so happens to fall around Christmas this year. 

The month-long holidays for December are: National Pear Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Not much this time. I love pears, though. 

My Jewish calendar features 2 menorahs this time. I should say technically hanukiyah, which is the specific menorah used for the holiday. Menorah just means lamp. The one for Hanukkah has 8 branches and one holder for the shamash (helper or leader) candle. Usually the one for the shamash is raised up more than the others and/or is in the middle. A regular one has 6 branches and one holder. So, there is a difference. Each night for Hanukkah we light the shammash and another candle with it. They're really beautiful by the last night. Since my mom used to work for a Judaica shop, she collected a lot of them. Some were free, and some she bought discounted from the shop. Free if they had some minor flaw, like some branches were slightly bent. She and I would sometimes light a bunch of them on top of the piano. It was glorious seeing them all lit up, although it was pretty dangerous, too. When I do it myself now, I usually use one. Sometimes 2 on the last night. I have so many different ones that I inherited from her. I've been using a more traditional one the last few years, but it only uses Shabbos candles, not the slimmer Hanukkah ones. A couple of the branches are bent, too. It's quirky, yet impressive. People can see it more from the outside than the others. We're supposed to have it be seen, so it works. Anyways, one of the ones on the calendar is made out of copper from 1900. The other's iron from 1935. They don't say where they're from, unlike many of the other artifacts in previous months. However, the museum is in Amsterdam. They might have come from there. Interesting to see such old ones. 

The elements calendar features tin this time. They talk about how tin soldiers were almost never made of pure tin. Tin-lead alloys were usually used. Many things called tin don't actually have tin in them, and it's come to mean any sort of thin sheet metal. They show a tin soldier that is 99.99% pure tin. There's a gray tin allotrope growing on a piece of metallic tin. A piece of the mineral cassiterite (tin oxide) from Bolivia. Lead-free solder, which is mostly tin. And, finally ingots of pure tin. Interesting. 

Went to a family friends' place for Thanksgiving. We usually go there. This time it was my parent and I, the 2 hosts, and a work friend of the hostess. I was told there would be 6 of us, so that surprised me. They usually have a sizable crowd for their holiday dinners/parties. (They also host parties for New Year's Eve, sometimes Hanukkah, and a seder during Passover.) For the last couple of years, it's been noticeably smaller. Anyways, I've met their friend before at previous dinners. She's pretty nice and open-minded. They only have one dog left. The other passed away not that long ago. I miss that one, too. They were both big and really friendly. I couldn't eat the green salad we brought, since I'm trying to stay away from pain as much as possible. (Roughage like things scratch up against the scars in my colon. Fun fun.) We also brought a berry/grape salad. Didn't add anything to it, since I'm not familiar with fruit salads. My parent wanted to add whipped cream, which is apparently a thing. I just think fruit is usually good by itself. Like nature's candy. I technically wasn't supposed to eat the berries because of the seeds. I did anyways...The host smoked the turkey, like usual. There was gravy, homemade stuffing (a bowl of it without chestnuts for me), salmon for the person who doesn't eat turkey, cranberry relish (I don't like it, so they usually have the canned jelled stuff for me), cookies, and pumpkin pie. They forgot about a cooked green vegetable, which I probably could have eaten in place of the salad. We played a game of Trivial Pursuit, which is like a tradition there. It used to be very binary with the men against the women. Acknowledging me, and realizing it wasn't the best thing to do anyways, they stopped splitting us up like that. This time it was the 'away team' vs the 'home team'. 3 against 2 isn't bad. If it was with genders in general, I would be by myself and probably wouldn't have gotten very far. (The host would have been too, but he's relatively good at it.) We were in the lead for a while, but the 'home team' won. Sadness. The only thing that I didn't care for was when the hostess was talking shop with her friend for long periods of time. (They both work for OC or Olympic College.) They wanted to share and explain what they went through and such, too. At first it was interesting, then I started to get sleepy. After a while, I kept catching myself before falling asleep. If that was the only down part, that's pretty good. 

Sunday was the start of Crohn's & Colitis Awareness Week. The only things I've done for it are added a frame to my fb profile pic, filled out an infographic on my experience, and shared both to Instagram as well. I've talked about my experience often on here. One thing that's surprised me is that you can still suffer symptoms while in remission. It really depends on how much damage it caused before going into remission. People tend to think in order to be in remission, you must not have related symptoms. Also, there's a high possibility of getting another autoimmune disease eventually with it. I apparently have another one, but they (doctors) don't know what it is yet. So, that's a fun thing, too. There isn't a cure for colitis. This can be hard for many patients to come to terms with. They'll have to deal with it for the rest of their lives. While in remission, it doesn't actually stop. The disease has just gone down to an unnoticeable crawl. 

Finished watching The Truth Seekers. It's a Singaporean private detective drama. They solve cold cases. I liked it a lot. I didn't care for the added tension towards the end. Plus, the love triangle thing...The characters were likable and felt like family. They left it wide open for another season. I'd so watch it if there is one in the future. 

Started watching the 2nd season of High Seas recently. It's a Spanish mystery series set in the 40s on a luxury cruise ship. The cinematography's great, they have elegant costumes that would have been popular at the time, and a lot of aspects are accurate to the way things would have been. The acting is occasionally over-the-top. Very interesting story and kind of cool that most of it is from the perspective of 2 sisters. This season seems a little weird. Ghosts might be involved this time, although it might all be an act by someone they rescued recently. That someone is apparently lesbian or bi. Not sure if that's good representation, considering she could be stealing and a fraud posing as a medium. She kissed one of the sisters that believes her. As far as they've shown, the sister is straight, and recently got married to the owner of the ship. She could be bi...She seemed to like it. They were hinting that she'd do something like that with how touchy-feely she was with her. This season isn't long, and I'm already halfway through it. It'd be interesting to see how it goes. The 1st season was mainly about mysterious murders and the sisters' long-thought dead father. I wasn't sure there would be another season with how the last one ended, so it's been a pleasant surprise.

I finished Duolingo's Dutch course. I was thinking about going back to modern Hebrew next, but their course for it is awful. I can't seem to find any good apps for it, either. I thought about Yiddish, but that's hardly available anywhere. Although, I did read that Duolingo is creating a course for it and might be out in a few months. Started Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course today. It's really new. Newer than I thought. Came out a week ago. There hasn't been any speaking lessons yet, but I'm at the very basic stuff. Some of the other languages didn't have those until a few more units in. They have a lot of different native speakers, which is good to get more of a feel to how it sounds. I knew the language was a little odd, but really looking at it brings that to light more. It's another language that my ancestors spoke, so I thought it would be good to learn that way. Not many people speak it anymore. There is an effort to change that, though. The course looks short, but maybe they're only showing me some of it, then once I get to the last checkpoint shown there will be more. If not, I still feel lucky to get a taste of it. 

Finished editing Alliance: Dawn. Started editing Sweet Endless Terror. It's 12 short stories based on my nightmares. Went through the 1st story: The Head. It's the shortest one. 5 pages of the ebook and 8 pages of the print. I also didn't remember how short the ebook was. It's only 94 pages. The print is 255 pages. I formatted the print to be for a small book, so it makes sense. The difference is weird, though. Especially seeing them side by side. 

Finished fixing the drawing of Junko's lines. In Photoshop, I added color to her skin, eye (she's winking, so only one is open), hair, shoes, and ears. They're not exactly the colors I had in mind, but they're not bad looking. I don't know much about color codes in Photoshop, but I'm looking them up as I go. I'll color in her skirt, socks, and shirt next. Then, I'll mess with shading. I have to remember to go a little darker with that than I did with Shadow. 

National Cake Day!

Wow! It has been a while since my last post. (Longer than expected.) Yay for cake! My fave is Black Forest cake. It was National Parfait Day yesterday. I hate what most people think a parfait is in this region. That's layers of yogurt, fruit, and granola. I like the ones that are layers of pudding, whipped cream, maybe some fruit filling, and cake. That sounds a lot better to me. 

I haven't changed either my desktop's or iPhone's wallpaper, so I'm not showing a new one this month. The Pusheen calendar for November is titled: 6 Reasons to be Thankful for Your Cat. The first one has a heart around Pusheen, with the caption: warms your heart. Next to it, she's in an office chair, with the caption: warms your seat. The first one in the 2nd row has her on a bed and her speech bubble has a heart in it. The caption: cuddle buddy. The one next to that has her looking somewhat angry on a bed with food in the bubble. The caption: alarm clock buddy. The first one on the last row has her laying down, hearts coming off of her, and hand petting her. The caption: beautiful friend. The one next to that has her laying down on some papers, coffee nearby, and a hand gripping a pencil. The caption: beautiful paperweight. It's cute. 

The month-long holidays for November are: National Peanut Butter Lovers Month, Raisin Bread Month, National Memoir Writing Month, National Native-American Heritage Month, National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Interesting that it's both Memoir Writing Month and NaNoWriMo. Especially, because I finished writing both novels this month.

There's at least one reason why I haven't posted much on here lately. I was trying to finish writing both the memoir and sequel to Alliance. I managed to finish writing the sequel a couple of weeks ago, and finished the memoir 5 days later. 

By the way, the sequel finally has a name. It's Alliance: Dawn. Dawn makes so much sense, on many levels, for the name...People who read it will understand. I have ideas for the memoir's title, but haven't decided yet. One of the biggest candidates is Hineini. Hineini means Here I Am in Hebrew. However, there are already memoirs with the same title out there. So, I don't know if I'll use it. I'm not feeling as into the other ideas for the title. 

Taking out the month of being too sick and it being too hot and smoky to write, plus writing half as much at the beginning, it took me roughly 4 months to write both of them. That's really fast! My first book took a few years to write. 2nd one took close to a year. This is like lightning speed for me. First time doing 2 at once, too. So, technically, it was about 2 months each. Even though I wrote them at the same time, if I just did them one at a time with the same amount of writing each day, it would have been like that. I was writing 4 pages a day, 6 days a week. (Not writing on Shabbat.) 

Now, I'm editing both of them. Trying to edit a chapter from both each day. I'm a little further into Dawn than the Memoir. It's shorter, too. The memoir seems to be the longest of the 4 books I've written. Dawn is slightly less than its prequel. Sometimes it feels like I'm editing so much, my brain hurts afterwards. 

After editing, I'll format them both for their ebook and paperback versions. Then, I'll create their cover arts. I have a clear idea of how Dawn's art will be. I'm a little fuzzy with the memoir. After that, I'll figure out pricing. Then, I can go through the submission process through Amazon. 

I'll have it so Dawn could be bought bundled with Alliance, and by itself. That way people can have the series so far, or get the sequel on its own. This also ups the likelihood that people will actually see it. Some people only look for series bundles. I'll have both of them as preorders first. Thinking they might go live in February or March. I can still be paid with however much I make from preorders during that time. Also, Amazon promotes books more during the preorder. (It'll be my first time using the preorder through them.)  With making ebook and paperback versions of these new books, I'll be more visible in 4 more ways. Besides the 4 ways I have now with my other books. Add in the bundle part with Dawn, and it gives me even more visibility. It's not just being visible through 2 more 'entries' in this sense. I could also rotate Amazon's promos on all 4 books, so there could be a sale at any given time. This adds more to it. Although, as it is right now, I can only run promos with the ebook versions. Still, it's something. I'll also post links to them on the sides here, like I did with the other 2. Easy for people to access them this way. 

I did get to the point of practicing my clarinet for an hour each day during the week. I only stopped when I started editing those books. It felt really nice, and I was noticing more of my mistakes. That meant I was getting good enough to tell again, I could fix them. I might get back to it after the editing. 

Went to Thanksgiving dinner at a friends' place. The couple that hosts it is like family. This year it was just Dad, me, and that couple. Usually, there are a lot more guests. One of their dogs is having incontinence issues now, so we couldn't sit on the couch beforehand, like usual. The wife injured her knee, I think. So, almost everything was being done by the husband. He looked so exhausted. He smokes their turkey, and I've always found that kind of cool and interesting. It adds a unique flavor to it. Anyways, I could see why they wanted less people. They said they wanted at least a couple of friends over for Thanksgiving, and they asked us. I think we're the closest to them. 

I also found out the person that was so rude to me last year when I came out as aro ace, isn't a friend of theirs anymore. They were appalled by her behavior. Plus, there were other questionable things. She was oddly into talking about Jesus sometimes. Not something Jews usually do, and why I at least have an inkling she's a 'Jew for Jesus'. In other words, Christian in disguise. Really scary. She's also a Trump supporter, that couple and my family are really against Trump. For obvious reasons...The hostess has strong political opinions, so that can be a conflict if you aren't on the same wavelength that way. That person was also very ageist, at least towards me. Also, most of the food she brought was awful or just really weird. She would tell us that she messed up horribly just as we're about to try it. Or, how about bringing little pork sausages to a Passover seder? Oh, wrapped in crescent rolls. It's a Jewish holiday, pork isn't kosher, and we don't eat anything leavened during the holiday. Way to mess up in multiple ways. She told me it wouldn't hurt me to try them, too...So weird. I'm glad I most likely won't see her again.

I was going to go to Leavenworth to celebrate my birthday. My birthday was on the 7th. Turns out that has been postponed until around March. At least, it seems like it's still on. Dad brought the idea up, and I thought it'd be great. I've only been there once, and it was a long time ago. It was fun, though. I did go to the Olive Garden for my birthday dinner. That was nice. So, we did do something for it. I hadn't been there in a long time, and it used to my fave restaurant. 

Thanksgiving!

Mood:

Hope everyone who celebrates it had a great one!For the ones who don't, I hope it was a great day for you, too. Dad and I did go to those friends of the family's place. There were 9 people this time. Not bad. Not as many as usual, though. We brought the crackers and herring for the appetizer. The person we picked up had brought 2 homemade pies, and 3 or 4 pies that were store-bought (she just warmed them up in the oven). The homemade ones were: sweet potato pie (I hate sweet potato!) and apple pie. The others were: blueberry, cherry, pumpkin, and I think one other that I'm blanking on. There was an interesting pear and cranberry dish. I think the pears/cranberries were cooked, and the pears were peeled. It was really good, but half of one was very filling. It was also something I could eat, since I was following that list. The turkey was smoked, like usual. The person who brought the salad, had a lot of things I don't like added to it. So, I didn't feel too bad with turning it down. The stuffing was dry, but good. They always have one with chestnuts, and the other without. I hate chestnuts, so that works for me. There was the canned jelly cranberry sauce again. Good stuff. There was also peas, but they just seemed mediocre. Since that IBD grocery list encourages people to have squash, I had a slice of pumpkin pie and another of the blueberry. Wanted to try at least one other. They both were very good.

Eventually, 4 people left. So, it was just me, Dad, the hosts, and the person we had brought with us. I wanted to tell the hosts at some point about me being aro ace and creating a new local ace group. (Since they are like family, to me.) I don't know how, but the person that came with us got me talking about it before I brought it up with them.She's very close-minded, and thinks her way is the only right way. I've found in the past that she's very ageist against most people who are younger than her, too. It's interesting because the hosts, and all the guests but her are very liberal, supportive, and open. 

She kept saying: "You'll change your mind someday" over what I was saying. I think she thought I was saying that I'm celibate.She also said: "You just haven't met the right man. You chose to be that, right?" So much wrong with this! I felt like saying: "You'll become ace someday. You just haven't met the right person. You chose to be straight, right?" That would have put me on her level, though. I know it probably would have put it more into perspective for her, at least. The hosts understood it pretty quickly, as I talked more about it. She apologized eventually. 

I brought up the idea of being in a qpr, and how it sounds wonderful to me. The hosts seemed to understand what that sort of relationship would be like, and the concept seemed nice to them. After saying what I might look for in a partner for it, the lady from before said: "So...it sounds like a dog would be what you're looking for, then?" No! I want a living breathing human being I can talk to and still be close to.Comparing it to having a pet feels vaguely like bestiality somehow. It's a close relationship. Is it normal for people to date or have sex with animals? Animals and humans aren't the same...I certainly hope relationships aren't entirely built on sex and romance normally. (This is coming from an aro ace. So, I don't really know.) There are a lot of different relationships/types of love out there. I think the 'bestiality' thing comes up when people don't understand orientations in general. Things out of what they deem 'normal' or 'natural'. I think she apologized after I explained it further, too.

Eventually, the idea of me making a book on asexuality was brought up. I think it'd be a huge undertaking, but from what I've seen there isn't a good one on it out there. The free one that I read, was about 25 pages, but could have easily been about 12 pages. He repeated himself several times. Didn't go into detail about anything. He shared a couple of his experiences, but not much. If I do one, I want it to be a lot more in-depth. Not sure if it'd center on me and I give out cited facts I've found online, or gather stories/experiences of other aces in addition to mine along with that info. There are so many different types of aces, there are little known sexualities in the spectrum, bring up the idea of (a)romantic attractions (and maybe the split attraction model as a whole), issues within the community, and so much more. It'd be jam-packed with a lot more info than that free book was. I didn't get much from that one.Then, maybe at some other point, I can add this part of my identity to the memoir I've thought about writing. I'm starting to notice that I have more than enough 'material' to write one. I keep thinking I'm too young to write it, and then I realized I've gone through a lot already, and being aro ace adds another lens to it. 

At the end, the dogs got to the herring, so we couldn't take that home. There were plenty of crackers left, though. Also, the person that came with us gave us 2 of the pies: apple and blueberry. Yay for more pie!On the way back while dropping her off, she said I opened up her eyes. She said it was very interesting. What got me, a little, was at the end where she managed to say: "You could still change in the future. You never know." I have heard some people say that sexuality can fluxuate or change over time. That might be true for very few people. It's like me telling her: "You might change to being ace in the future." To many people this equates to telling someone that their orientation is a phase. That's not cool.I saw someone shared a shirt recently that read: Straight was my phase. That seems more accurate...For many aces, we didn't know where we fell. So, we just assumed we were straight. (Some assumed they were bi. That's another big one I've read.) Realizing who you actually are eventually makes more sense. Once you've figured it out, often times, people don't suddenly change in the future. They are who they are. If they do change, they might have been in the process of figuring it out before. That's different. I think if I told straight people that who they were was just a phase, or eventually they'll magically have a new orientation in the future; they'd think I was crazy. That's what it sounded like to me, at least.I just let it slide, because she was tiring in many ways. We were talking about what it's like to be the only Jew in school, and she suddenly brought up something related to Jesus. It was so weird, and we thought there would be a point to bringing it up, and there wasn't. For some reason, I feel like she isn't actually Jewish, and more of a 'Messianic Jew'. There's been some weird vibes with that over time, too.

I like how the first thing people brought up at the beginning, was that I looked like I lost a lot of weight. Half the time, I feel like I'm gaining. And, the other half, losing.I have noticed that my pajamas have gotten much more baggy, and keeps falling off of me. That might be a sign of losing it again. But, I think I'm feeling like this based on me not getting my normal exercises in for months, and eating really oddly. So, my mindset on it might be skewed to what it is in actuality. Most of the time, I am eating less often. Except for dinner, eating less in quantity, too. Usually, anyways. Had a huge plate of mainly just spaghetti (the pasta, not very much sauce) for lunch today. Had a craving for it, and it certainly wasn't my new 'normal'. Felt like throwing it up afterwards, but to me, it was worth it.I still have that weird thing where I have to remind myself to eat, since I don't experience hunger anymore. 

Makes it hard to remember to drink my water and tea, too. I usually pair them up with food. Sometimes, if I end up moving around a lot, I try to drink more. The problem is, I've been told by my gastro to increase my normal fluid intake. I haven't even been hitting what's considered the norm. It's not good, because I actually feel the effect of that already. How do you increase something you haven't even hit the norm for in a while? It's a bit more difficult when you run out of Splenda for tea...I feel weird adding calories to drinks, like when you use sugar. I have to tell myself that it's not that many calories, and I'm not eating quite enough as a whole anyways. Having just water, gets tiring. Tea is more exciting, even if we only had one flavor left of it. I'm also still taking citrucel at night, as well as the probiotics. Both of those have added sugar, too. I'm really not a fan of that...I usually try to drink something else after having the citrucel, so I at least get more fluids that way. 

I mentioned the 'IBD Grocery List', and some people seemed worried I wouldn't be able to eat what they brought. They shouldn't worry. I felt a little guilty though for making them suddenly feel that way.It was interesting because part of what my gastro suggested was that I avoid insoluble fiber, but increase the soluble kind. I told them I can't have whole seeds/nuts, certain fruit/vegetable peels, etc. The person who brought the salad, suggested if having the pumpkin seeds separate would help. I hadn't gotten to telling them that I can't have raw vegetables, and even with fruit it might be preferred to cook them a bit. When I said that, and told them not to worry, they looked kind of hurt...I can't help what might help or harm me. It just is the way it is. The 'list' isn't technically about fiber, but that kind of thing was basically my gastro warning me/trying to make me feel more comfortable. Like, this will most likely help you. I think it has helped more, but it's limited things more, too. Probably contributing to me possibly losing weight again. On the list, they encourage eating things like fish, certain vegetables (asparagus, different types of squash- pumpkin being a big one, spinach, carrots, potatoes- peeled, and green beans), certain fruits (melon, bananas, apples- peeled or applesauce, peaches- without peel, mango, canned fruits), creamy peanut butter, chicken, turkey, eggs, white rice, oatmeal, etc. It's very interesting to look at. 

I think I read that Ace Day was yesterday. So, not only do we have a week at the end of October, but a day at the end of November, too...It's better than nothing. It apparently was also National Cake Day. Very fitting, and I wonder if it was planned that way? Without realizing it much, I was more active on AVEN, Tumblr (with looking at ace blogs), and in ace groups on facebook that day. Hadn't been active on AVEN for a while. Their new server is up and running now. Seems much faster, and I think it's made to accommodate more people. I actually posted to their aro thread, but there have been no responses/likes to it yet. Maybe it's just not that active. People seem to like my posts in the threads about what you drank or ate last. It feels like we think about food more than a lot of people...Also, was accepted into a secret Jewish ace group on facebook, called Jace. I think I asked to be invited on Friday. Not that long to wait. Really cool that I'll be able to get to know other Jewish aces.I've noticed they range widely from secular/cultural to Orthodox. (According to a poll on there.) I'd personally want it to be a mix of different Jews. Makes it more interesting. Feels more like a community this way, too.

Well, Wednesday is a potluck, and Thursday is when my MRE is done. Potlucks are nice. It's a more social thing for the local trans group, too. MRE is essentially imaging on my small intestines. I'm nervous about the MRE.It sounds like it'll take a good chunk out of the day. The test itself takes a while. I probably will do the blood test for it on Wednesday. They said I could do it as close to a day before, and it'd be fine. I probably won't eat from my last snack Wednesday or even that potluck, until after the test. If I remember correctly, it might end at around 2pm. That's a long time.The only thing I'd have in my system, before that test, would be the contrast. I might not feel hunger, but there might be other bodily signs. I'm kind of excited about looking at the results, though. Even if it's really damaged. Something about seeing my insides, in a safe way obviously, sounds awesome. I'm in awe of looking at the way I look on the inside.Sounds weird, but we're marvelous beings that way. Just seeing how things work or not work (in some instances), is beautiful to me. Felt that way about my endoscopy/colonoscopy, too.

I also noticed a new thing a couple of nights ago. It scares me, but it's so close to this test...They probably will see what's up with that, too. The lump I felt earlier, has grown more than I thought it did. Can see it more, too. Also, feels like something big is flopping around inside. Sometimes that 'thing' stings. I'm still afraid that it might be a semi-obstruction (that's getting worse), adhesion, or something similar. It doesn't feel like it's a simple thing. I hate not knowing.My gastro said she'll email me as soon as she looks over the results, and we can go from there. I hope I can be put on painkillers soon. It's getting really difficult. Hard to come up with things that will keep me distracted enough. If I focus too much on it, the pain feels much worse. I'm also scared that I'll have to have surgery done. Had a dream about that last night. It's really getting to me. Some days, I feel like I could tell myself that nothing's wrong and it's all in my head. But, most days, that's far from the case. Those days where I feel I can somehow 'ignore' them or they aren't as bad, are getting fewer. Rosie seems to sense my pain, and is being a lot more needy. She's been leaning up against the most painful area more often, too. She's so sweet.