19th of Cheshvan

I almost forgot. As I was walking through the parking lot to get to Starbucks last week, a car almost ran me over. If I hadn’t started to run, it would have hit me. I had right of way there, and it’s not like I was walking too slow. It was another scary thing. It was pouring rain when we went back out of the café to the car.

We might go to one of my parent’s friends’ place for Thanksgiving. I think they only asked us to get a pie. My parent might get more than just one.

With the previous unit (just started the next one) in Spanish on Duolingo, they’re going over the word si. It’s interesting that with the accent mark as sí, it means yes. Without it as si, it means if. They started putting all the learners learning Spanish in one league this week. Last time I checked, I’m 3rd in the league.

Got my new Molina card. It’s KP through Molina, so they changed the primary care doctor and added Kaiser Permanente at the bottom. (I thought the number was changed, but it’s the same.) I looked more at it. I don’t see the KP stuff in the Molina app. I’m thinking of calling Molina tomorrow about it. I might call KP’s medicaid line as well. I’ll have to make an appointment to see my primary soon. She’s moving to their Silverdale location. They are closing the Poulsbo location. I don’t know how this all works. I guess I’ll find out.

Went to Starbucks again Saturday. I got their new iced pecan crunch oat milk latte and their new dark toffee bundt cake. Both were good. Didn’t get close to getting run over this time.

Went to Kachai Thai for dinner Friday night. I got chicken satay, beef fried rice without onions, and rice pudding for dessert. The pudding was the only dessert they had left. I couldn’t hear our server very well. That was kind of a headache. The pudding had purple rice and sweetened coconut milk. Was better than the last time I had it. No weird aftertaste.

I started a new month for walking. This time, for my outdoor walks, I’m walking all the way over to the tennis courts (starting with the mailbox side) and back once. Apparently, it’s only 1 or 2 min longer than what I was doing last month. I thought it would be more. I only was able to do it once so far. It’s either been too dark and/or too rainy. I’ve decided that when it’s like that, I’ll just do a 14 min or 15 min walk inside. I’m also still doing 2 5-min walks inside. It’s expected to be really rainy and windy today and tomorrow. Weather Underground said the winds will start at 2pm today. It didn’t. My parent said it might be at 6pm. We’ll see. (It already sounds like it's really raining outside right now.) I think the wind will be so strong that the power will probably go out. Since I wasn’t sure when it’ll be windy/rainy, I decided to do a 15 min walk inside. Just to be on the safe side. Don’t want to get out there, and suddenly get stuck in it.

Went to one of the markets (we still call it Central) on Sunday. Got some of my weekly stuff. I was going to get a cranberry supplement, but they didn’t have the one I got last time. I decided to get something else. It’ll last for 50 days at least.

I also got my toothpaste. Apparently they’re the only ones that sell it nearby. It’s Pronamel from Sensodyne, Alpine fresh flavor, and whitens teeth. Good for sensitive teeth, like mine. I’ve been using it as I’ve gotten back to brushing my teeth on a regular basis. Doing it twice a day. I watched a video on youtube talking about when the best time to brush is. (Plus it talked about other hygiene/health things.) They say it’s about an hour after a meal. 30 minutes is ok, but not less than that and it’s not as good. So, I’m doing it an hour after breakfast, and 30 minutes after my last snack, which is kind of close to my bedtime. I also used to use water to rinse it off, but I don’t anymore. Just spit as much of it out as I can. My teeth look the cleanest they’ve been in a long time. Things don’t irritate them much anymore either.

I got a smoked turkey and dill havarti sandwich for dinner. Also, found out they have turkey dinners now. I grabbed one. I wasn’t expecting to get 2 dinners from that market. I also got cherry crunch pie for dessert.

Went to Safeway yesterday. Got some Drano to help with the downstairs’ bathroom sink. (This was after Safeway and going back to Central. They didn't have it at Safeway. They also didn't have milk, and we needed that too. Interesting mix to go back to get.) It seemed to be pretty clogged. It got much better after last night. I got some more cash for the buses. $20 worth of $1 bills. A lot, and it’ll go for quite a few bus rides. I got a grilled salmon and pesto pasta dinner from there. It also has asparagus and cherry tomatoes. I think it’s pretty healthy. Got a tiramisu cake for dessert. Hopefully that will be good too. Got lottery tickets. Mega Millions jackpot is getting pretty big. It’ll be cool to win. The drawing is tonight.

Pinterest (again, I didn't make these. Just sharing. Thought it would be interesting. Some come from my dream home board):

(This one has a link that has tons of different walk-in closets):

Youtube: 

5th of Kislev

This is my wallpaper for December. It's Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler. Seemed good for this month since there's snow, and kind of fits my mood during it. I like Hanukkah a lot, but the Christmas stuff out there, no matter where you go 24/7, gets to be much. It's in your face and on blast. If you don't celebrate that holiday, it gets aggravating after a while. I'm happy when retail people or waiters say things like happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. It's more inclusive and doesn't throw a holiday that you don't celebrate on you. There's a holiday for pretty much everyone this time of year. Including New Year's Eve. I have no problem with friends celebrating it. In fact, I hope it's a great one, and that they knock themselves out with decorating and such. It's the public things that get me the most. (At malls, cafes, other stores, public schools, 'Santa' riding a fire engine through the neighborhood, whole downtown area decorated with Christmas stuff, etc.) Also, Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas. We don't have a holiday like that. Hanukkah is a minor holiday, also referred to as the Festival of Lights. It just so happens to fall around Christmas this year. 

The month-long holidays for December are: National Pear Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Not much this time. I love pears, though. 

My Jewish calendar features 2 menorahs this time. I should say technically hanukiyah, which is the specific menorah used for the holiday. Menorah just means lamp. The one for Hanukkah has 8 branches and one holder for the shamash (helper or leader) candle. Usually the one for the shamash is raised up more than the others and/or is in the middle. A regular one has 6 branches and one holder. So, there is a difference. Each night for Hanukkah we light the shammash and another candle with it. They're really beautiful by the last night. Since my mom used to work for a Judaica shop, she collected a lot of them. Some were free, and some she bought discounted from the shop. Free if they had some minor flaw, like some branches were slightly bent. She and I would sometimes light a bunch of them on top of the piano. It was glorious seeing them all lit up, although it was pretty dangerous, too. When I do it myself now, I usually use one. Sometimes 2 on the last night. I have so many different ones that I inherited from her. I've been using a more traditional one the last few years, but it only uses Shabbos candles, not the slimmer Hanukkah ones. A couple of the branches are bent, too. It's quirky, yet impressive. People can see it more from the outside than the others. We're supposed to have it be seen, so it works. Anyways, one of the ones on the calendar is made out of copper from 1900. The other's iron from 1935. They don't say where they're from, unlike many of the other artifacts in previous months. However, the museum is in Amsterdam. They might have come from there. Interesting to see such old ones. 

The elements calendar features tin this time. They talk about how tin soldiers were almost never made of pure tin. Tin-lead alloys were usually used. Many things called tin don't actually have tin in them, and it's come to mean any sort of thin sheet metal. They show a tin soldier that is 99.99% pure tin. There's a gray tin allotrope growing on a piece of metallic tin. A piece of the mineral cassiterite (tin oxide) from Bolivia. Lead-free solder, which is mostly tin. And, finally ingots of pure tin. Interesting. 

Went to a family friends' place for Thanksgiving. We usually go there. This time it was my parent and I, the 2 hosts, and a work friend of the hostess. I was told there would be 6 of us, so that surprised me. They usually have a sizable crowd for their holiday dinners/parties. (They also host parties for New Year's Eve, sometimes Hanukkah, and a seder during Passover.) For the last couple of years, it's been noticeably smaller. Anyways, I've met their friend before at previous dinners. She's pretty nice and open-minded. They only have one dog left. The other passed away not that long ago. I miss that one, too. They were both big and really friendly. I couldn't eat the green salad we brought, since I'm trying to stay away from pain as much as possible. (Roughage like things scratch up against the scars in my colon. Fun fun.) We also brought a berry/grape salad. Didn't add anything to it, since I'm not familiar with fruit salads. My parent wanted to add whipped cream, which is apparently a thing. I just think fruit is usually good by itself. Like nature's candy. I technically wasn't supposed to eat the berries because of the seeds. I did anyways...The host smoked the turkey, like usual. There was gravy, homemade stuffing (a bowl of it without chestnuts for me), salmon for the person who doesn't eat turkey, cranberry relish (I don't like it, so they usually have the canned jelled stuff for me), cookies, and pumpkin pie. They forgot about a cooked green vegetable, which I probably could have eaten in place of the salad. We played a game of Trivial Pursuit, which is like a tradition there. It used to be very binary with the men against the women. Acknowledging me, and realizing it wasn't the best thing to do anyways, they stopped splitting us up like that. This time it was the 'away team' vs the 'home team'. 3 against 2 isn't bad. If it was with genders in general, I would be by myself and probably wouldn't have gotten very far. (The host would have been too, but he's relatively good at it.) We were in the lead for a while, but the 'home team' won. Sadness. The only thing that I didn't care for was when the hostess was talking shop with her friend for long periods of time. (They both work for OC or Olympic College.) They wanted to share and explain what they went through and such, too. At first it was interesting, then I started to get sleepy. After a while, I kept catching myself before falling asleep. If that was the only down part, that's pretty good. 

Sunday was the start of Crohn's & Colitis Awareness Week. The only things I've done for it are added a frame to my fb profile pic, filled out an infographic on my experience, and shared both to Instagram as well. I've talked about my experience often on here. One thing that's surprised me is that you can still suffer symptoms while in remission. It really depends on how much damage it caused before going into remission. People tend to think in order to be in remission, you must not have related symptoms. Also, there's a high possibility of getting another autoimmune disease eventually with it. I apparently have another one, but they (doctors) don't know what it is yet. So, that's a fun thing, too. There isn't a cure for colitis. This can be hard for many patients to come to terms with. They'll have to deal with it for the rest of their lives. While in remission, it doesn't actually stop. The disease has just gone down to an unnoticeable crawl. 

Finished watching The Truth Seekers. It's a Singaporean private detective drama. They solve cold cases. I liked it a lot. I didn't care for the added tension towards the end. Plus, the love triangle thing...The characters were likable and felt like family. They left it wide open for another season. I'd so watch it if there is one in the future. 

Started watching the 2nd season of High Seas recently. It's a Spanish mystery series set in the 40s on a luxury cruise ship. The cinematography's great, they have elegant costumes that would have been popular at the time, and a lot of aspects are accurate to the way things would have been. The acting is occasionally over-the-top. Very interesting story and kind of cool that most of it is from the perspective of 2 sisters. This season seems a little weird. Ghosts might be involved this time, although it might all be an act by someone they rescued recently. That someone is apparently lesbian or bi. Not sure if that's good representation, considering she could be stealing and a fraud posing as a medium. She kissed one of the sisters that believes her. As far as they've shown, the sister is straight, and recently got married to the owner of the ship. She could be bi...She seemed to like it. They were hinting that she'd do something like that with how touchy-feely she was with her. This season isn't long, and I'm already halfway through it. It'd be interesting to see how it goes. The 1st season was mainly about mysterious murders and the sisters' long-thought dead father. I wasn't sure there would be another season with how the last one ended, so it's been a pleasant surprise.

I finished Duolingo's Dutch course. I was thinking about going back to modern Hebrew next, but their course for it is awful. I can't seem to find any good apps for it, either. I thought about Yiddish, but that's hardly available anywhere. Although, I did read that Duolingo is creating a course for it and might be out in a few months. Started Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course today. It's really new. Newer than I thought. Came out a week ago. There hasn't been any speaking lessons yet, but I'm at the very basic stuff. Some of the other languages didn't have those until a few more units in. They have a lot of different native speakers, which is good to get more of a feel to how it sounds. I knew the language was a little odd, but really looking at it brings that to light more. It's another language that my ancestors spoke, so I thought it would be good to learn that way. Not many people speak it anymore. There is an effort to change that, though. The course looks short, but maybe they're only showing me some of it, then once I get to the last checkpoint shown there will be more. If not, I still feel lucky to get a taste of it. 

Finished editing Alliance: Dawn. Started editing Sweet Endless Terror. It's 12 short stories based on my nightmares. Went through the 1st story: The Head. It's the shortest one. 5 pages of the ebook and 8 pages of the print. I also didn't remember how short the ebook was. It's only 94 pages. The print is 255 pages. I formatted the print to be for a small book, so it makes sense. The difference is weird, though. Especially seeing them side by side. 

Finished fixing the drawing of Junko's lines. In Photoshop, I added color to her skin, eye (she's winking, so only one is open), hair, shoes, and ears. They're not exactly the colors I had in mind, but they're not bad looking. I don't know much about color codes in Photoshop, but I'm looking them up as I go. I'll color in her skirt, socks, and shirt next. Then, I'll mess with shading. I have to remember to go a little darker with that than I did with Shadow. 

3rd of Elul

This is my wallpaper for September. It's Tanjirou from Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon-Slaying Blade). I've been really amazed by this anime. Wasn't expecting much. The animation has been top-notch (just looking at the water scenes, it looks so real, which is difficult to pull off), music is haunting at times, the characters are well developed, epic fight scenes, and the plot is interesting. I wasn't expecting much because it's essentially a zombie anime. There's so much more to it, though. It takes place in the Taisho period, which is 1912-1926. So, more 'modern' than some of the other anime I've watched that are historically based. I like the idea that Tanjirou only joined the Demon Slayers to cure his sister, Nezuko, of being a demon. The demons in the story more closely resemble zombies in that they eat people and were once human themselves. They still have a sense of self, intelligence, and magical abilities. Scarier this way. Nezuko seems to be one of the first demons that hasn't eaten a single human. Instead, she gathers energy by sleeping. She was kind of tricked into thinking all humans are family and to protect them at all costs. She's incredibly strong, even for a demon. She's also cute. Tanjirou is kindhearted and a huge empath. He feels for most of the demons he defeats.  

The month-long holidays for September are: National Biscuit Month, National Breakfast Month, National Honey Month, National Potato Month, National Rice Month, National Cheese Month, National Piano Month, Pain Awareness Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Quite a lot this month. 

The month of Elul ends with Rosh Hashanah or our New Year. It's also the start of the High Holy Days, which ends with Yom Kippur or the Day of Atonement. The HHDs last for 10 days. RH and YK are the most important holidays on the Jewish calendar. Many people 'prepare' the month before. One of the customs I follow (as did my mom) is blowing the shofar (ram's horn) every morning throughout most of the month. We refrain from it on Shabbos (which is every Friday night until Saturday night). I sometimes forget to do it until a few days into the month, like this year. Hopefully, I'll remember tomorrow and the rest of the month...It can be fun. It's supposed to wake us up spiritually. 

The elements calendar features arsenic this time. The main pic's of pure arsenic metal granules. The one next to it is of a type of arsenic treated wood. Another pic's of an old tin of arsenic. The last pic's of Paris Green, which is useful in pigments and rat poison. Scary one for this month.

Recently 2 groups on fb shared the same post. One in an ace group, and the other in a non-binary one. It was an 'adding' game where you state your age and post a selfie, then friend whoever interacts with it. I almost didn't respond to either posts, thinking it was just a popularity contest. However, it was a good way to let others know it was ok to friend them. Some people might not want to for many reasons. Also, a great way to connect with other LGBTQ+ people on there. So, I did eventually post in both of them. I gained 25 friends through that over the weekend. I think that's the most I've had in such a short time. Also, overall, I'm up to the most friends I've had on my list at once there. They all seem like cool and interesting people. 

We did our big monthly grocery shopping yesterday. We normally go to Costco, but it was closed for Labor Day. So, we went to Trader Joe's. I think I only found one thing there: olive hummus. Haven't had hummus in a very long time. I like making hummus and cheese sandwiches. They're refreshing, tasty, and full of protein. The olive one is one of the best. They also had chocolate hummus. That sounds nasty. I did read an article about it, and the author was surprised by how great it was. I don't know...

We also went to a local bakery. I love their Norwegian brown bread, and I usually get it sliced. Turns out that the ones that were available were frozen. They can't cut it until it thaws enough. Last time that happened it took like 3 hours. I didn't want to go through that again. On the other hand, it is getting harder to cut things, so it makes it even more difficult than before for me. I also got a maple doughboy. It's one of the things they're known for. It's huge! It's like a gingerbread man, only in donut form. This one had maple frosting. The other version is glazed. 

There's a smoked goods shop right next to it. They have smoked salmon, smoked nuts, smoked cheeses, jams, spices, and other snack-like things. I got smoked cheddar (one of my faves) and blueberry jam. I don't think I had their blueberry jam before. Too many seeds can be a trigger for my gut. So, I thought a jam with either very few/none or really small seeds would be best. I still like to have it. I think the blueberry one follows that. 

Went to World Market after that. Found quite a lot of things this time. Got my fave pickled red cabbage and apple salad, an artichoke pasta sauce, dill pickle mustard, pumpkin spice pancake mix (I still have a little of their banana and caramel pancake mix, and it's easy and delicious), pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels, and a few other things. 

Went to a local market for dinner yesterday. I just grabbed what I could eat at the salad bar. I'm trying to be better about avoiding trigger foods, and eating more protein. I need more protein than most healthy people, since I tend to have issues with absorbing it. It's hard for me to even get over half of what's considered the normal range for healthy people. Since I have to stay away from most raw vegetables, I steered clear of most of the greens like lettuce and spinach. Making it not really look like a 'healthy' salad. Shredded carrots seem to be ok, as well as a few cherry tomatoes. They had turkey, hard-boiled eggs, olives, and various other types of salads like potato salad and orzo salad. Didn't turn out as much as I expected, but it was ok. 

At Safeway, I found another mug cake mix thing. This time it's a chocolate chip cookie with chocolate frosting from the same company that did the cinnamon roll one. Should be interesting. Since it's so many calories and sugar, I'm saving it for my treat days. They also had a 12-pack of their rainbow chip (like M&Ms) cookies that were cheap. I got the small packs of 2 in the past. They're really good. It will last me a while. I pretty much have my desserts set for the next couple of weeks at least. Yay!

Went out to Costco today. Realized later that we got a lot of protein-packed things. I'm going to try 2 more different types of jerky. One's teriyaki beef and the other is beef steak. They actually have decent amounts to a bag there. 

I decided a couple of days ago to count the lumps I have at the moment. I've thought for a while that it was just around 5 of them and no big deal, but never counted them until then. There are over 30 of them! Most are in my hands. There's one big one in my neck, another in between my right eye and nose, another on a toe, and another in the crook of my left elbow. Some are soft, but a lot of them are hardening. Some seem to be growing so much they might burst through the surface. The hard ones in my hands feel weird when I grip things. Whatever I'm holding feels bumpy or uneven, even if it's smooth and straight. Some of the bumps are getting so big, I can see them just from looking at the sides of my fingers. I wonder if they're calcium deposits? I hope not. At least most of the time they're not painful. I see my primary in the middle of this month. Maybe she'll order imaging on at least my hands. I'll see my rheumatologist at the end of that week. He'll probably be able to help a lot more.

Both arms are still hurting a lot. I tried Tylenol PM last night, because the pain was also keeping me from sleeping, and I felt I needed to try something for it. The problem is so many sleep aids can mess with my mental health stuff, and so many can affect my colitis, possibly setting off a flare. That eliminates many right there. The only painkiller my primary will let me have is Tylenol, and I've been told by GIs that NSAIDs can cause flares or make it worse. I looked it up online, and Tylenol PM seems to be the safest for people with IBD in general. It basically has Benadryl and extra strength Tylenol. Benadryl's usually safe for the mental health part, too. I think I got a little more sleep. It was mostly calming. So, even when I was awake in bed, I was more relaxed. That's nicer than without. I guess I'll see how it goes after a few nights. 

I pinned a sausage and hash browns slow-cooker recipe a while back on Pinterest onto one of my boards. I think I mentioned it on here after I made it. I was the first to share a pic of it. I did not create the pin. However, a ton of people have been repinning it from me. Around 200! It's like every hour or so I get a notification on it. Kind of annoying. I've never had that happen before. Sure, a handful of people repin my pins normally, but this is very different. It doesn't even look that great. It tasted amazing, though!

Despite not going back to my Dutch this weekend (including Monday) on Duolingo, I was promoted to the Sapphire League today. That shocked me. How could I still be in the top 10 by the end of that week? I finished the Kitchen unit, and am close to finishing the Materials one. 

Managed to draw a rough outline of Junko's legs. Took a little while to figure how I wanted to position them. Edited more of Alliance. I'm into chapter 4 now. Went through 6 pages of the ebook, and 8 pages of the print. That's more than I was doing each day last week. Maybe I'll get to a lot more this time. It's flowing a lot better now. 

4th Day of Pesach!

Tonight is the start of the 5th day of Pesach or Passover. I managed to cook (although I planned to not do as much as usual), prepare, set, and lead our family seder Friday night. Despite my health deteriorating. Felt accomplished afterwards. Even if it was just for my parent and I. 

I roasted a beef marrow bone this time. Safeway had ran out of their soup bones (which is what I got last time), so I went to Central Market to see what they had. Felt a bit panicked that I wouldn't find a bone...They had them in the 'extra' meat section. Same place as the beef tongue, chicken schmaltz, chicken feet, organ meats, etc. It was easy to roast. I'm keeping it in the freezer so I could use it next year, too. Used to do that with an actual roasted lamb shank bone (that's traditionally what it's supposed to be) for years. It became petrified. Looked cool.

'Roasted' the egg for the plate by holding a hard-boiled egg with tongs over a stovetop burner's flames. Took longer than expected, but certainly not as long as putting it in the oven. Plus, I was able to monitor it better. Hard-boiled eggs in the oven can explode. I've only done that a couple of times. 

We had the usual appetizers: hard-boiled eggs, matzo, and gefilte fish. I got a lot of hard-boiled eggs from Safeway, which made it so much easier. Made matzo ball soup. Used chicken broth instead of water, and added carrots, celery, and parsley. I should have used reduced sodium broth, because it ended up really salty. I like that, but it was on the verge of too much. There's a lot of sodium in the balls and soup flavoring mix. The matzo balls turned out just right. Fluffy, but with some structure to them. 

We had roasted chicken, Pesach roasted garlic couscous, salad with craisins and shredded carrots, and Pesach popovers. I tried using the orange ginger sauce as a dressing, and the ginger was way too strong. I made 24 (2 batches) popovers this year. I know we'd have 2 at our seder, and our friends' seder the next night had 11 people. Just in case, I thought having 2 per person would be enough. I know that many people love them. 

We broke into the dark chocolate seder plate, and I had a Pesach peppermint patty for dessert. That plate is just as impressive as last year. There were a few bad reviews of it on Amazon, saying and showing pics of it arriving broken up. Ours was fine. Totally intact. In fact, it was difficult to break. Makes me wonder if they broke it up themselves just to make a negative review. We have a lot more Pesach desserts. There's pound cake, chocolate covered macaroons, chocolate macaroons, large marshmallows, and fruit jelly slices. (I think that's all the others.) I don't think I've had Osem's pound cake flavor previously. I've had their marble and chocolate chip cakes. Every time they've been amazing! Somehow very moist, soft, and the flavor is perfect. Sometimes it tastes better than regular cake. It's like magic. 

It was nice seeing everyone at the 2nd night's seder. Found out that one of the hosts' dogs had to be put down. She was having a lot of issues for a while. Both their dogs were/are big. It seemed kind of sad to only see Zoe, who's younger than the other one was. Hopefully, she has many more healthy years. 

I brought up my health stuff there. I didn't really want to bring it up, but when asked what I'm up to right now...I was honest about trying to get this health stuff taken care of. I told them about the awful treatment I got during my upper endo/colonoscopy, and how weird that GI was. They were understanding about it. There was one person that seemed not very 'with it' about the sex and gender thing (he wasn't hateful, just confused about it), but seemed well-meaning and did feel awful about what happened to me. Still haven't written/filed a complaint about it. I also briefly touched on the other health stuff I'm going through. It seemed like they wanted me to elaborate, but I didn't want to go into more of that. 

There was a lot of good stuff for the meal part. Last year, I remember not eating much of what was there. There were much fewer people, and a few things I either didn't like or would upset my gut. This year there were hard-boiled eggs, seemingly homemade gefilte fish (still had mini bones mixed in and didn't have that 'jarred' taste. I prefer the jarred ones more), matzo ball soup (theirs is never that great, always have to add so much salt), salad greens (we brought this, plus craisins and shredded carrots to mix in), Pesach popovers (obviously we brought these), cauliflower casserole thing, beef brisket, potato kugel (like a casserole), a fruit mix (pineapple, blueberries, grapes), Pesach chocolate chip cookies (the hostess makes these every year, and they're really addicting), fruit slices jelly candy, and Pesach peppermint patties. 

I've kept up with eating kosher for Pesach stuff so far. Last year I ended it early, because we went to Leavenworth during the middle of it. Still have some ideas for meals and there are quite a bit of snacks as well as desserts. Most years I don't make it to the end of the holiday. It gets too difficult at a certain point. Plus, it's not the greatest for someone with digestive issues to keep it up for long. If I end it early, at least I kept it up for half the holiday. 

I have an appointment to see my primary on Thursday. Yesterday I decided to make a list of my symptoms ordered from head to toe to prepare for it. I also went without Extra Strength Tylenol to see what it was like. Tylenol only takes the edge off. I'm still in a lot of pain while on it. I've been taking it for roughly a month straight, which isn't good. Might cause other issues later on if I continue to take 2 or 3 doses of it every day. I almost couldn't stand it when I was completely off of it. Noticed more things this way, too. 

My eyelid rash is worse, and may have spread a little to my nose, top tips of my ears, and my scalp. The scalp one I'm really unsure about, but there are certain areas that if I just touch them, they burn. I feel the same sunburn burn feeling I have with the eyelid rash in those areas. Not very visible with those, but neither was the eyelid area for a while. Felt the pain long before I could actually see it. 

My jaw joints feel really swollen. Somehow, I think that's affected my ears which are achy. My dysphagia is worse at times. Still taking Lansoprazole, and I don't notice any difference with that or the other gut stuff. I've been taking it since my follow-up with that GI. That was on the 9th. I've been very lightheaded, and have both chest and shoulder pain. I'm a little scared of that combo. 

All my muscles are worse with the pain and weakness. I have a weird circular rough patch of skin near my elbow. Both wrists are worse than before. The left one (which was the first one to be in pain) has a lump that feels like it's filled with something. Both hands hurt; joints and muscles. The knuckles are swollen, too. I'm constantly nauseous. Sometimes it hurts to breathe. There's some spine pain. Every so often, I've had bright red blood come out of my butt. Not just a little. My parent thinks that the ones who performed my colonoscopy might have punctured something. I'm not so sure about that. That just doesn't seem right to me. If it's not, then why is it doing that? It is disturbing either way. 

Looking up myositis again, I think a lot of my symptoms line up with dermatomyositis (dm) more than polymyositis (pm). The clear difference between them is one has skin-related signs, like rashes. Makes sense because 'derma' relates to skin. It's an inflammatory ('itis') skin ('dermato') and muscle ('myos') disease. Also, both dm and pm are rare autoimmune diseases. When I looked up dm, the pic that popped up next to the description looked like my eyelid rash. Makes me really lean towards that. I'm not a medical expert, but I'm oddly fascinated with learning about things I don't have answers for yet. Even if it's scary, I can't help but look into it. (Another possibility was lupus, but I highly doubt it.) I can always suggest that it might be this, also. If anything, they can test for it to eliminate that possibility. Oh, both dm and pm can cause arthritis. So, I could have both. Wahoo!

Whatever this is, it's getting worse every day. I thought about going to Urgent Care, but realized they wouldn't know what to do. Thought about going to the hospital, but I don't want to go there unless I'm on the verge of death. My mom passed away in the last local hospital I was in. That's enough of a turn-off. Plus, I've been hospitalized twice over a decade ago. It wasn't fun. (Constantly being called Princess and referred to as hon added to that.) Although, I remember one of those times the food was amazing! It would be scary if my primary suggests I go to the hospital after my appointment. If she does, I feel I wouldn't have much of a choice. The good sides to it would be they can ease my pain, monitor me, run a bunch of tests, and help me with whatever needs to be done right there. It's gotten to the point where it's hard to cope with. So, I don't know. Just need to make it to Thursday to see.

Got a new pillow recently. My really old one was beat up and didn't resemble a pillow anymore. The new one's a copper pillow. I didn't really care about that, but it was on sale, so why not? It's supposed to keep you cool, anti-microbial, and hypoallergenic. All I cared about was a sturdy fully stuffed pillow. It is, and it's pretty comfy. It lifts my head more than the other kind did in the past, but that's ok. 

I accidentally stepped on Rosie's tail this past weekend. I immediately felt really bad about it. She got up and hissed at me. As soon as she did, Tasha jumped off the bed and attacked her. First time I saw her do that. Normally it's the other way around. Apparently she felt she needed to protect me after that hiss. It scared Rosie enough she ran downstairs and hissed more along the way. Tasha stopped a few steps down, came back to me, and demanded attention. Also, not the usual. I'll take it, though. Felt bad for Rosie. All of this happened so quickly. 

Rosh Chodesh Shevat

It's the beginning of the month of Shevat on the Jewish calendar, aka Rosh Chodesh (lit. Head of the Month) Shevat. On the 15th of Shevat, there's Tu B'Shevat, which is our New Year for the Trees. Another new year...It's basically to celebrate nature. We eat a lot of fruit and nuts, some people plant trees, and others just go for a walk or hike. There's also a seder, which is set up similarly to a Passover one. (Seder lit. means 'order', and it's usually used for a ritual dinner that goes in a certain order.) 

Went to Gig Harbor last Friday. It was cold and wet outside. The waterfront wasn't that exciting. There weren't as many shops as I remembered. We did see an interesting one that had various olive oils, balsamic vinegars, spices, mustards, and more. You can sample all the oils and vinegar. That was fun. I got Quebec maple mustard there. I didn't realize at the time that it was a grainy kind. Might not be the best for me, but it's not like I'm going to have a lot of it. It's stronger than expected, too. Can barely taste the maple part. 

Went to an Italian restaurant called Il Lucano Ristorante Italiano for dinner. It was great and seemed authentic. The owner comes from an Italian town named Lucano. He holds cooking classes at the restaurant. He greeted everyone and seated them when we were there. He seemed very friendly (maybe a little too friendly...) and full of energy. He sang to the music occasionally, which was interesting. They serve bread and olive oil with garlic and herbs mixed in. I've heard that it's a thing for Mediterranean countries, but not many American restaurants that have that theme seem to actually serve it like that. They might have bread, but usually not much else. There were a lot of good sounding dishes on the menu. I got their veal parmagiano. Seemed quite different than what I'd get at other restaurants. The marinara had a ton of olive oil and garlic. The pasta seemed fresh and like it was made by them. The veal was done just right. It was really good parmesan and mozzarella. There was also a ton of basil. I was a little worried when I found a bunch of fresh basil leaves connected to a long stem under one of the veal cutlets. I realized that it might have purposely added to some of the flavor. I was very impressed by the food there. We might make the trek out there again. 

After that, we saw Aquaman in IMAX. I think this was only my 2nd or 3rd time watching an IMAX movie. It's huge! Felt like I was surrounded by it. Not many people were there. My parent and I were there with 2 friends. That was nice. I liked the movie until about 30 minutes towards the end. It became way too corny. Why would you have a long kiss in the midst of fighting? Plus, why do the leg up thing during it? That was weird, too. Seemed forced. The slow and dramatic poses were funny. They might have been going for that, though. 

The plaza, where the theater was, was more interesting than the waterfront. Lots of stuff to see. Seemed like other big plazas around it were interesting, too. We saw a cupcake ferris wheel display at Home Goods near the theater. It moves, and you could probably rig it up to turn the wheel on its own. The more I thought about it, the funnier it got. 

I've been keeping up with my Italian for the most part. It feels longer than the previous courses I've gone through on Duolingo. I originally planned to do a new language roughly every 3 months. I'm still on track since next week will mark 3 months. It might end up being a little over, which is ok. I've got about 10 more units until the end. I usually just go through the first level, not all 5. At the beginning, I was maxing out the levels to familiarize myself. However, later on I got the concepts right away and haven't needed to do more of the levels. Each unit builds off of the previous, too. When I started the German course, Duolingo only had 1 level for each unit. I think the 5 is overkill. Sure, 2 I can see. Especially, if something really isn't sinking in. When I did the HelloChinese course, they didn't stick too long on one unit. Maybe I'm just a fast learner with this stuff. I hardly make mistakes now with it. The only times I do is when I don't see something right away. Another thing with Duolingo is you can test out of units completely in one part. There are 4 to about 10 parts to each one. At least I don't do that. It's good that they have a few different options since not everyone learns the same way. I also found an app called Mango. It has over 70 languages. It sounds better and more in-depth than Duolingo. Duo doesn't have that many languages, either. They have cultural, grammar, and pronunciation notes. Duo doesn't have that. They have speaking parts to it, which is great that I'd be able to keep that aspect of it. I'm going to give some of the languages my family might have spoke a try. They actually have Yiddish and Gaelic (I think both an Irish and Scots version) on Mango! That was surprising to see. Hopefully, that one will work out. Not sure exactly which language on my list will be next. 

I managed to practice my clarinet today. I hope to get back into the habit of playing every day, except Shabbos (Saturday). It's been a while since I last played. Might have been in October...Anyways, if I can keep playing every day, I might add more to it slowly over time. Like, going over things with a metronome that have odd time signatures. I think I've been speeding up on certain things, and slowing down with others. Then, I'll listen to recordings of what I play. I did this a few years ago, and it really helped even though not everything can be found online. Eventually, play with the recording. Then, record myself and post the audio to Youtube. That way I can hear myself and others will hopefully give me some constructive criticism. I most likely will get trolls, but at least I'll be able to hear myself. It'll take me a while to feel confident enough to do that. Didn't sound too bad today. In fact, it was better than expected. I also noticed something that I had a bad habit of doing in the past. I tried to break it down and play it the way it should be slowly. It'll be hard to break that habit, but with practice I know I can. I figured out a different one last time I played, and improved on that. It was better. Now that I'm more aware, it should get easier. I also finally used a new reed. I play a size 3, which is rather thick. It goes from 1 to 5 with thickness. (There are 1/2 sizes.) Most people don't play 5s. I think most of them play a 2 or 2 1/2. (It doesn't mean I'm better than them for playing a 3...) I might be able to play a 4 now, but that seems intimidating. Highly doubt I could ever play a 5. It gets harder to play, but the sound can be deeper and more full. 

I also got a walk in today. I hope to get back into doing those every day. Probably with my usual 2-mile one for a month, than adding another one. It was cold out there. By the end, I somehow felt both freezing and sweltering. Despite that, it was still nice to be out there. 

Started reading MAR Omega. It's the sequel to the manga version of MAR. I watched the anime, so I at least know most if not all of the story. I liked the anime. It's interesting to see it in a different light. It seems Kai is Ginta's successor. We don't know much about him, and he's an orphan. I have a feeling he was born in our world, and thrown into theirs right after (since he doesn't remember anything before being adopted). He has somewhat of a similar personality as Ginta. Ginta's his hero and he hopes to be like him someday. Should be interesting to see how this one turns out. It's much shorter than the prequel. 

Got back to editing Alliance today, too. There were a lot of errors. Hopefully, I can get back to doing this on a regular basis as well. I want to finish it so I can read/edit the sequel, read/edit Sweet Endless Terror, publish all those to Smashwords, and then finish writing the most current sequel of Alliance. Hopefully, get to writing new stuff, too. That's a lot, but if I do this almost every day, it'll be quicker than it has been. 

Went back to drawing today. Mainly just got to planning how I want Shadow to pose and looking at things like arm proportions. At least, I'm looking into it more. I want to do better with drawing a character's full body. I already came up with a much better head (hair, face, etc.) design for him. I'm much happier with that. It took some messing around, though. His neck and top shoulder area looks pretty good, too. I'm making progress with it. I think another drawing project I might do is a meme that has you drawing something new every day for a month. Drawing your portrait, a still life, pets, something in certain colors, food, etc. That sounds fun. I might need another drawing pad before then. I think I'm on my second to last page of the big one, and the small one is already filled out. 

Happy New Year!

First post of 2019! Yay! It's probably going to take me a little while to get used to seeing that. Hopefully, I'll post more often this year. Did much better last year. Close to twice as many posts than the previous one. Also, hope it'll be a good year. 

Went to a couple's place for a party to ring in the new year. They've been family friends for most of my life, and we usually go to their place for Thanksgiving, New Year's, and Passover. Besides my parent and I, there was the 2 hosts, and 1 other person. That person didn't stay for very long. I know most of the guests that go to these, but didn't know her. They usually have a lot more guests, too. The last few times it's either been just us or one other person. Makes me wonder...Although, one of their dogs is not doing too well health-wise. She has something similar to diabetes and has incontinence issues. She's always thirsty. Sad. Both of those big dogs are so nice and friendly. 

We brought rosemary crackers, spreadable Finnish cheese with dill, chocolate covered raisins and cherries, BBQ potato chips, dolmas (stuffed grape leaves), pickled herring, BBQ chicken pieces, raspberry Pim's, and a bottle of sparkling cider. The crackers were pretty good with the cheese. No one touched the chips. That's ok. More for us. Dolmas were gone quickly. Pickled herring is kind of a tradition for us on New Year's Eve. I think half of it was gone by the end. The chicken was good, and only a little was left. We weren't sure if there would be enough cider. They always have it available. That's usually what I have there. Turns out they had more than enough. Not only in the refrigerator, but in the garage, too. I opened ours anyways at some point, and it erupted. Luckily, I was in kitchen when it happened and it seemed like no one was watching. It must have been tossed around in the car. Went through about 2 bottles. Pretty much everyone had some, though. Oh, and my parent brought cava wine. The bottle was rainbow colored. The brand donates some of the proceeds to their local LGBTQ+ groups. They're Swedish. I remember there was a thing about it in the news that it was in response to an anti-LGBTQ+ ad by a vodka company (I think). Pretty cool. Even though I don't drink alcohol (mainly for health reasons), I tried a little. Didn't taste very good to me. Alcohol has always tasted a little weird to me, though. Could be because I'm not used to that taste. I like it in cooking, but the alcohol itself burns off that way. There was a spinach artichoke dip, small slices of bread, peanut M&M's, other types of chips, and pickled green beans as well. 

This is my wallpaper for January. It's One Piece's main logo. It has the Straw Hat's Jolly Roger in the O. A stylized version of Luffy is the i in it. It seems perfect for an anime about pirates. In the wallpaper, they also added the figureheads of both of the Straw Hat's ships. The first one, which is on the lower left, was called Going Merry. She seemed like she had a life of her own. Sadly she ended up breaking down beyond repair. There was a lot of drama between one of the members, Usopp, and Luffy about what to do with her. (Usopp even left the crew briefly.) The 'funeral' for her was one of the most emotional scenes. They sent her off to sea and lit her on fire, all the while the crew was breaking down in tears. She actually spoke and tried to console them as she burned up. It was hard not to tear up. The current one, upper right, is called Thousand Sunny. That one doesn't seem as 'alive', but it's virtually indestructible. Made from some of the toughest trees in their world. It's loaded with weapons, too. One of the members, Franky, who's a shipwright, designed and crafted it along with help from some of the best shipwrights. It's twice as big as Going Merry was. 

The month-long holidays for January are: National Candy Month, National Egg Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Meat Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. A lot of good food ones this time. 

This year, I was able to get a Jewish calendar. For the last few years, there haven't been any left at Barnes & Noble, which is where I usually get my calendars. I thought it wasn't that big of a deal considering I can follow it online, but I do like to see the antique pics in the one I usually get. It's from the Amsterdam Jewish Historical Museum. The main pic is of a tzedakah (basically charity) box that doesn't have a date. The other pic's of a velvet Torah cover from the 1800's. 

Got an elements calendar for the 'regular' one. This month's on strontium. It's a pretty pic of it. They have all sort of info on it. The atomic number, indicates where on the periodic table it is, melting/solid/etc. points, pics of what it's used for, a detailed info section, atomic emission spectrum, state of matter, etc. Fascinating stuff. I took chemistry (both high school and college level), but we didn't really go into too much detail of each element. It was mainly formulas and reactions. So, to get a more in depth look is nice. It was apparently used in bombs, but is usually not radioactive. It's occasionally used as an ingredient in luminous paints. Some of those are radioactive, but again strontium isn't what makes them that way. Strontium pills are thought to be good for your bones. It does react similar to calcium, but it's unclear if it has any affect on bone growth. 

Got a haircut last Friday. It was the longest it had ever been. My last haircut was just 8 months ago. Not much time in between. It was growing really fast. While I wanted long hair, it was getting too difficult to take care of and kept getting stuck in things. Felt like it was swallowing me and had a limited field of vision. It was so much I couldn't even put it up in bun well. It was so long, the hairstylist had to cut off some of it in order to just wash it. It was quite something to see it all on the floor at the end. It's now roughly half as long. Much more manageable, I can see more around me, it's more out of my face, people can see my face, doesn't fall into my food, don't have to hold onto it in order to eat, and so much more. Looked even better after I washed and styled it for the first time. It's still rather long, so I get somewhat of a similar feel. 

Got my DNA test results back from AncestryDNA. That's been interesting. I'm 51% Ashkenazi (Jews who came from Germany and out to eastern Europe), 29% Celtic (particularly from Scotland), 14% from England, Wales, and 'Northwestern Europe' (that's not very descriptive), 4% from France, and 2% from Sweden. I had no idea about the last 2. This means my mom was 100% Ashkenazi. There are some diseases that only they have or are more likely to have than the rest of the population. That worries me a bit. I didn't realize how concentrated that side was. At least, people can't dispute that I'm Jewish, I guess. They split that side into 2 groups: Western and Central Europe, and Central and Eastern Europe. There's some overlap with them, and I'm not sure why they split them. It was interesting to see the ethnic map.

They also have a history section where you can see where they started on the timeline, and where they immigrated. That timeline goes from 1725 to 1950. They only show the 2 Ashkenazi groups and Scottish part for it. They have dots of where they lived at the time. It's detailed enough to see the cities they were in. Some dots are huge, and that's where they're more concentrated. None of the Ash. groups have info until the 1800-1825 section, and that's with the C/E Europe one. The other group doesn't show up until the 1825-1850 one. I was surprised by where the Ash. groups were from. Sure, I knew about Germany, Romania, Belarus, and Russia; but none of the others. There were surprisingly huge dots in Poland, Lithuania, and Ukraine. The Scottish one wasn't as surprising, but interesting. They immigrated to Australia, Canada (particularly Nova Scotia), and the US pretty early.

Apparently, my family came from/immigrated to 26 countries and a territory. Here's the list: Germany, The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Moldova, Romania, Lithuania, Latvia, Ukraine, Scotland, Ireland, England, Wales, France, Sweden, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Canada, US, Australia, New Zealand, Slovakia, Hungary, Austria, Czech Republic, Isle of Man. I'm kind of tempted to look into learning more about these places. Like, what's the culture like for Jews in some of them, about the cultures around them, trying foods from them, maybe learning some of their languages, about the Celtic parts as well, music of these areas, and more. That's a little overwhelming. I do have some knowledge of these places, but it didn't seem as personal in the past. Plus, if I ever go on that dream trip in the future where I visit all the countries my family's from, it's going to be a much longer trip than I thought. I could break it up, though.

For an extra $10, they give you results of 18 genetic traits. I did that not too long ago. Most of it was spot on. They thought I had a cleft chin. I don't. They were correct about finger length. My ring finger is slightly longer than my pointer. The hair type one was really laughable. It said I had naturally straight hair. Nope. Very curly. Most of my family has curly/wavy hair, so I'm not sure where this came from. They were right about hair thickness, though. It said thicker-than-average. The iris pattern part was interesting. I know I used to have flecks of gold in it, but can't see it too well now. They said I have rings. Maybe I'll look at them in better light at some point. For skin pigment, they said light to medium skin tone. I have a very light skin tone. Although, parts of me are slightly yellow/olive like. Interesting. The only food sensitivity (of the traits they tested) I have is to sweets. Makes sense. Sweet food has always been really intense to me. Most of the time I can only handle so much of it. If I plan to eat a lot of it (like if I'm at potluck/buffet, and a lot is probably different to me than others), I have to eat it slowly. It's not just the first bite that's intense, it's pretty much every bite. I've actually ended up with some enlarged taste buds after eating 'too much' sweets. Despite this, I do love sweet food. I think I have other sensitivities like that, but they didn't really test for many.

I'm going to try and go on social media less. Most of the week, only checking for notifications, and posting personal stuff (food I eat or other pics to Instagram and dA, personal statuses, sharing posts from here, etc.). Then setting a time during the weekend, or if I'm at somewhere like a restaurant waiting for food, to 'catch up'. However, making sure to not do it for too long. I tried this several months ago. It worked for a little while. Felt a lot better. The problem with this is I end up feeling like I'm missing out on too many things. Things like news in general, friends' stuff, and fun things. So, we'll see how that goes.

Finished watching Persona. It was pretty good. Seemed more real. Cases took weeks at least. Although, I felt like they added a soap opera-feel with some of the drama that popped up. I hate that they left such a cliffhanger at the end. Apparently, there is another season, but it's not on Netflix. Don't know if they'll get it. At least it wasn't as bad of a cliffhanger as Anjaan (an Indian supernatural detective show) I saw on there. That was one of the worst. Although, I just looked at Netflix, and they apparently added a lot more 'new' episodes. (About 50 more. They only had about 15 before.) Yay! At least I know there's more on there. I might watch Gab-Dong next. It's a Korean detective show.

Finished all of D.Gray-man. That includes the more recent Hallow sequel. I think some of the character designs in Hallow were awful or too 'different'. I read that those designs were more faithful to the manga, but it still didn't seem right. Lenalee seemed to be the worst. Her personality changed almost completely, too. Miranda looked odd to me, although she seemed more 'normal'. (Looked like a raccoon before.) Their eyes were 'shinier', too. A bit distracting. I do like that they didn't censor the blood in this one. In the first series, the demons exploded instead of bled. It ended at a weird time. Seemed like a pretty big cliffhanger, as well. Besides that, it seemed decent. I like how many complex layers Allen Walker had. He cares about both humans and demons, despite being an exorcist. He's part demon, too. His past from a very young age was traumatic. He even had a mental breakdown when he was little, after the man who took care of him, a clown named Mana, became a demon. He killed that demon himself. (If I remember correctly.) His 'innocence' (or weapon, to simplify it) activated on its own, and he didn't want to kill him. His personality changed after that. His hair changed, too. In Hallow, he ends up trying to get more in touch with who he really is. We all thought Kanda died, but he suddenly showed up at the end like nothing. Makes me curious about continuing the story in the manga.

Happy Belated New Year!

Wow, it's already 2018! (Although, on the Jewish calendar we're well into the year 5778.) Hopefully, I'll be better about posting this year. Last year, I tied with the year before on number of posts. Those last 2 years were my least active, though...The more I post, the shorter the posts will be. 

For my January wallpaper, the internet connection for my desktop is having issues at the moment. So, I won't be sharing the pic. (This app doesn't do well with pics.) Maybe in the future. It's of most of the main characters in Kekkai Sensen or Blood Blockade Battlefront. I think someone based it off of a screenshot of the 1st season's ending sequence. (So, if you've seen that, you have an idea of what it looks like. Others can look it up, too.) That song, Sugar Song to Bitter Step, was one of the best. The soundtracks to both seasons are great. It's funky and jazzy. Plus, the animation to it was cool and slightly cute. 

I didn't get a Jewish calendar again this year. I'll just go off of my google calendar. I did get a regular calendar that's weather themed. It has some beautiful pics. The only odd parts are that there are about 4 articles (one in between a few months each), and text for each day. The texts are info blurbs on weather in general and historical weather events. Makes it look very busy, has tiny font, and takes up about half of the space for each day. Not much room to add stuff. Even less when they have holidays listed. For this month's main pic it was taken on May 24, 2016, when numerous tornadoes hit Dodge City, KS. The storm produced a show of fiery mammatus clouds lit up by the setting sun as it moved away from Dodge City and weakened. It's cool looking. 

The month-long holidays for January are: National Candy Month, National Egg Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Meat Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Apparently, it's all food holidays for the month. A lot of them seem vague, and you could do a lot with them. I usually have at least one cup of hot tea a day. I love tea! It feels like a soothing bath on the inside. Plus, the blends can be pretty creative, and just the plain stuff is great, too. Eggs are packed with nutrients, tasty, and interesting. I love the meats I allow myself to eat. Like, beef, chicken, turkey, and even buffalo. Good stuff. I probably could never be vegetarian because of that even if I wanted to. I have my own not so positive opinions on going vegetarian or vegan. The fanatics are scary, too. Oatmeal and candy are great. I don't particularly like having soup most of the time. I prefer stews. They tend to be heartier, and not mostly liquid. 

On New Year's Eve day, I had brunch with an old friend I hadn't seen in almost 15 years. That was back when we graduated high school. (Not sure if I saw her that day, so it may have been longer...) I only remember talking to her occasionally during lunch. I don't think we interacted often before. I still thought she was cool, and she also thought of me as a friend. We found each other several years ago through facebook. She reacted in some way to most of my posts. We didn't actually chat much. Last year, she was planning a trip back to the town I live in; and wanted to see me for at least one of the days she'd be here. Those plans fell through. I don't think she was able to even see family in the area. She recently moved about 20 minutes away from me. Much closer. She said she now has more time, and can meet up with people. She also had off that day. So, that's how that came about. The odd thing was she apparently doesn't have her profile up on fb anymore. However, we're still connected through fb's messenger...Not sure how that works. She has my phone number now, and said she'd rather call or text instead. The messenger's still texting, though...She likes most of my pics on Instagram, as well. That's interesting.

It was nice to see her. We talked a lot. Found out we have similar interests. After we went to brunch, she still wanted to chat more. So, we went to a local cafe. We were there for a while. I think she lost track of time at some point, and was late for something. She said she'd love to meet again either to have lunch/brunch together, cook at her place together, or something else. Sounded great. We'll see how that goes. It seems kind of surreal with not seeing or really talking to someone for so long and with them wanting to reconnect now. I like it, but feels a bit weird. 

I also have made a couple more friends on fb. One who found me through a couple of ace groups, and another one much more recently who met me at the local trans group. (I've made a lot of friends through this group already.) They're both cool people. The one I met face-to-face is non-binary, but leans heavily to the masculine side. So, he tends to say he's a trans man. Totally understandable, and awesome to know another non-binary person there. He's best friends with another member. They're both rather new to the group. We chatted for a while when I got home after the last meeting on messenger. I was tired and it was late, but I think we chatted for about a half hour. Longer than it should have been for the time. It was really nice, though. 

At the last local trans group, I ended up talking more than usual...I'm not used to talking about things that relate directly to me there. I talked about realizing I have gender dysphoria. A regular member was kind of rude about what agender people might be dysphoric about. (Not every agender person has dysphoria. Just like binary trans people.) I know she was just trying to understand, but it made me uneasy. A lot of things she said this time made me uncomfortable. She asked if gendered things can trigger it, does that mean it'd be better to have a little bit of both masculine and feminine qualities? She kept repeating this even though I told her: no, it means we wouldn't want either. Anything gendered can be dysphoric. If someone's androgyne, they might want what she asked. That's different. 

She also asked why I felt like I was breaking a rule or caring about how others perceive me. Why not just do what you want? Seemed to belittle how I felt, and some people jumped in saying they felt similar towards the beginning of their transition. She got a bit flustered. There were some other worse things she said that were inappropriate. If it was my first meeting, I'd be very reluctant to go again.

One of the new people said they were essentially questioning. They related a lot to what I said about my dysphoria, when I knew I was different, and how I realized. That was awesome to hear. They said they might have realized they're agender, after what I said. I think they're a bit more masculine than me, though. I think I'm really not leaning much either way. 

My gender expression (like how you want to dress/present) is different. I think I'm a mix that way. I know I like a lot of feminine things, and I'm realizing I might like more masculine things than I thought. This is of course what society deems that's supposedly 'gendered' a certain way. In reality, most of it really doesn't have a gender. Anyone can wear/use them. Anyways, I think it'd be interesting to explore this side of me more, too. If I do 'present' as a mix, I wonder how people will react? In a way, it sounds fun. In another way, scary. 

I also brought up chest binding. I've started to look a bit more into it. It seems the most recommended ones are either from gc2b or Underworks. There's apparently a lot of debate about which is best. I'm leaning more towards Underworks. I saw a really nice looking one on there. It's also cheaper than the same type on gc2b. All the reviews for it are positive. It's the most popular binder on there. Some of the reviewers were even agender. I was surprised by that and how many there were. That's a plus to me, for some reason...I'm thinking about their Ultimate Chest Binder Tank. It's long, and if I tuck it under my pants it's less likely to roll up. Plus, it might smooth out my belly just a little bit. I know it won't be much, but any amount is good with me. I think it's best with a tank top design, since it won't cover my arms, and might be less visible this way. The only thing is figuring out my size. Since I've lost so much weight, my bra size has gradually gotten smaller. (Not by a lot, but it's noticeable.) My current size is probably a little different than it was the last time I got one. They say if you know your bra size, it's easy to figure which size binder you need. I'll have to measure again. My new friend from that group said he can give me his binder that was too small, if it was my size. That was nice of him. It's a different design than I want, though. Him and another member brought up exercises and a few other things. I felt like a good chunk of the meeting was about me...

There was an ally who was new to the group. She's good friends with the person who made me feel uneasy. I liked her a lot more. She seemed a lot more respectful. She was a little odd. At the end of the meeting, she went up to me and said that I was brave. Why am I brave for talking about this stuff in a safe place like a trans group? Maybe it was because I said I was out to everyone? Still seems odd to me, but nice of her, I guess.

Dad and I were going to go to a New Year's Eve party at a couple's place. They've been family friends for a long time. Sadly, they had to cancel it, because their dogs were sick. I know one of them was having bladder issues last time we were at their place. Maybe it was related somehow. I hope the other dog wasn't too sick. So, instead, we had our own party at home. We ate a lot of snacks, watched things together, and saw the fireworks on TV. Not bad. 

On the 2nd, I went back to restricting my calorie intake. This time I'm shooting for as close to 280 calories for each meal as I can. It's a lot more balanced this way. I have a hard time with making my breakfast and 2 snacks big enough. Lunch hasn't changed much. It's a little more difficult to make my dinner smaller. It's an interesting dilemma trying to balance it all. I'm glad I have up to 2 treat days where I won't care each week. Gives me a break, at least. The problem with eating like this is the leftovers. It makes for more of them. I guess it can be looked at as a good thing, in a way. Won't have to make things as often, and it takes longer to get through things. Also, it's been more difficult getting enough protein each day. I need more than most healthy people, and I normally hardly ever reach half my goal for the day let alone to it. My Fitness Pal's app is amazing for keeping track of this stuff. 

I've been posting a lot of my meals to Instagram since the 3rd. Pretty much everything except for 'repeats' or most of the treat day stuff. Treat day meals are mainly shared if either I cook something new or I go to a restaurant. I've been listing the calories for each (except for treat day stuff). People apparently like this sort of thing. I mainly was doing it to better visualize what close to or on 280 calorie meals look like. I thought people would get angry with the influx of pics, but they're not. I'm gaining more likes than usual, and more followers. I'm just amazed. I started posting some of them on deviantART, and they seem to like them, too. I'm not even sharing them through groups on there anymore. Very interesting. 

I started writing another sequel to Alliance. It kind of hurts to write about something awful that happened to such a lovable character. Feels like my baby's hurt. However, it's part of the story...Other than that, I'm excited to see what happens next. I don't even know until I write it or the ideas come to me in my sleep. It just happens. 

Started writing a cookbook, too. It's mainly based on my mom's photo album where she stuffed a bunch of recipes in. Some have been passed down through the generations, her own things, a couple of Dad's things, newspaper clippings, from grocery stores, etc. A lot of stuff. She apparently started this in 1968. That's oldest dated one. Obviously some family recipes are older, but weren't written down until she did it later. The newest seems to be from the early 2000s. Interesting span of time. I remember, about 2 years ago, going through it and tossing out the really weird ones or ones I'd never make/have. That was quite a lot. There's a ton more left, though. 

The 1st recipe is a bit strange but interesting. It's coffee boiled over fire. They add an egg to it, and you cook it over coals. I'd be willing to try that someday. 1 of the 2 alcoholic drinks I left might still be good without the alcohol. It's a punch that family friends would make. The other one was one of her fave drinks. I couldn't toss it. Maybe someday I'll be able to have alcohol and try it. (I can't because of meds.) Other people who can have it might want to try it. There are a lot of recipes for Cornish game hens. I don't know why. We hardly ever ate them. I think with many of the recipes, she wanted to make them but never got to them. Some of them might have just been for sentimental reasons. There a a lot of Jewish recipes, and I've already made some of them. The ones I've used have been great.

I wanted to make all the recipes and add pics of each one to them, so people would know what they looked like. I realized I probably won't be able to do them all. I plan to make some of them, though. (More than the ones I've made in the past.) A lot of them sound really good. 

I also decided to try and do better about other parts of my health. I've been showering more often. It's been hard since I started feeling really fatigued about 2 years ago, due to my IBD. Last year was the worst that symptom, but I'm still going to try to keep up with this. Since I have a genetic skin disease (since both my parents had/have it, mine's worse than theirs), eczema, naturally sensitive, and more; the best 'schedule' for me is to shower every other day. If it's more often, I get reactions. Same thing with not doing it as often. My 'bumps' open up, they turn red, I get very itchy, more sensitive, eczema acts up, and more. It's not pretty. I was going for far too long between showers. With washing my hair, I shouldn't do more or less than every 3 days. So, my hair and shower need to be scheduled slightly differently. My hair gets pretty bad when I don't do it every 3 days. I've also been washing my face every night and day with a facial cleanser. Of course, with the exception of after or just before a shower (since I already wash my face with shower soap in it). I didn't do the cleanser before. Also, using lotion on my face after. The skin feels so much smoother, tighter, smells good, and is shinier. My shower soap seems to be helping a bit with my loose skin, too. I've got a lot of that. That's one of the downsides to losing weight (it's nasty), and it seems like it takes forever to tighten up. I don't have as many reactions with my skin now, too. Seems to be getting better. Also, my hair looks and feels nicer. So, hopefully my health will be better this year, and can keep it up. 

3rd Night of Pesach!

The 1st night of Pesach or Passover was on Monday.  (The days of our holidays always start at night. So, technically, tonight's the start of the 3rd day.) Pesach is a holiday where we retell and symbolically reenact the story of when we were freed from slavery in Egypt. Basically the story of Exodus. We usually have 2 seders or ritual dinners for the first 2 nights. Seder lit. means order, so there's a particular order to these dinners. There's a seder plate full of things that symbolically represent certain aspects of it. Those being: lamb shank bone for the Pesach offering, horseradish for the harshness of slavery, parsley dipped in saltwater for the tears shed when we were slaves (and the green part for Spring), charoset (usually a fruit/nut mixture) for the mortar we made, roasted egg for the holiday offering when the Temple stood, for mourning of the Temple's destruction, and for the life cycle, lettuce for a 2nd 'bitter herb' that also represents that harshness, and a more modern one being an orange representing the inclusion of LGBTQ+ Jews. 

The matzo kind of represents both our slavery and freedom. When we were told to leave Egypt, we didn't have enough time to bake leavened bread/cakes, so we made unleavened bread. We eat this throughout the holiday, which lasts for 8 days. There are different forms of it that we can use, though. It can be smashed into pieces to make farfel, which can be good for making things like granola or stuffing. It can be pulverized into a sort of powder to become matzo meal. This is used in a lot of things. Like, in matzo balls, gefilte fish (acts somewhat like a binder), cakes, popovers, and more. Of course, there are uses for using the matzo as is, too. It's like a giant cracker. Some people make a matzo pizza, have melted margarine on it, sometimes honey on it, use it in lasagna, use it in a spinach pie, in matzo brei (basically a fried egg/matzo mixture. Can be either sweet or savory. I usually like the savory kind more), for sandwiches, etc. 

This is my wallpaper for April. It's Rin from Ao no Exorcist or Blue Exorcist. Thought it was cute. I thought, since I actually really like Pesach food, it would make sense to have this as my wallpaper. He looks like this when he sees really good food. (Or, when someone compliments him...) 

My Pusheen calendar features Pusheen as a unicorn. There's a rainbow with clouds on either end behind her. Her horn is sticking straight up, like a party hat. And, she has a mane in blue, yellow, and pink. Kind of reminds me of the pansexual flag. Her tail has pink, green, and purple in it. There's also a big yellow star below. Cute, and interesting for this month.

The month-long holidays for April are: National Garlic Month, National Grilled Cheese Month, National Soft Pretzel Month, National Garden Month, National Pet Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. I love garlic, grilled cheese sandwiches, and soft pretzels! My kind of month. Pets are important too, but shouldn't they be celebrated every day?
 
I didn't expect it to be just me at my seder for the 1st night. It was actually an interesting experience. More personal. I still read things out loud, and went through all the motions. I was the leader, 'participant', and group altogether. I even hid the afikomen. The afikomen is supposed to be the last thing you eat for the night. It's matzo that the leader hid towards the beginning of the seder. Kids are usually the ones that search for it. They might get a reward like money if they find it. I got a Hebrew picture dictionary one year. It was fun back then, but kids also got really competitive with it. I also had a seder playlist on youtube full of seder songs. It feels weird to sing alone, so it was nice to sing along to something.
 
Interestingly, Rosie stayed by my side most of the night. When she wasn't near me, she was on a sectional watching me. She really wanted the food, too. I ended up giving her a little chicken and a tiny piece of matzo. She was kind of like a participant. After mouthing the matzo for a bit, then suddenly chomping it down, it seemed like she liked it. Yesterday and today, with whatever I've eaten, she's been begging for it. She doesn't normally beg like this. Maybe Pesach food's especially good to her.
 
I made hard-boiled eggs. One that I roasted, another as an appetizer, and the rest for a couple of sandwiches during the week. Roasted a beet instead of a shank bone. We had to throw out the shank bone, that we used for years, when the refrigerator had issues a couple of months before the holiday last year. Roasting a beet is what a lot of vegetarians/vegans do for the seder. It seems easier, too. The juices do look kind of like blood, and that was used during the story on the doorposts. I think it was a bloody lamb shank bone they used to smear it. So, it's a really similar concept. I don't think it was roasted enough, but the juice did come out.
 
Instead of the usual chopped apples, crushed walnuts, grape juice, and cinnamon mix for the charoset; I did an applesauce, creamy peanut butter, grape juice, and cinnamon mix. This was because of my digestive issues. The hard part about this is peanut butter is kitinyot, which for Ashkenazi Jews (their ancestors came from Germany and Eastern Europe) isn't kosher for Pesach. I thought since it was to help keep me from being sick, it would be ok. Health always is more important. I used shredded lettuce for the 2nd bitter herb, but it looked like it was going bad. We don't usually eat what's on the plate anyways.
 
The orange has even more significance for me this year, considering I fully realized I was ace back in June and aro back in November. They are considered apart of the LGBTQ+ community. The orange might also symbolize the struggles within the greater LGBTQ+ community. Every letter has its own struggles. Especially, since people think the default or what's 'normal' is heteroromantic heterosexual cis people. Anything outside of that, is considered abnormal, inhuman (by some), or something that needs to be fixed. The orange, on the other hand, basically says you belong and nothing's wrong with you for being LGBTQ+. I think that's beautiful. When I was looking at oranges at the grocery store, all of them were so huge! Ended up getting a few anyways. The one I used dwarfed everything in comparison. Almost took up the entire middle area.
 
For the appetizer, I had a hard-boiled egg, gefilte fish, and matzo ball soup. The gefilte fish is like a fish loaf made of usually 3 different types of fish, and it's normally chilled. Many people are put off by it when they see it for the first time. Some really hate it. I love it. It's full of protein and good fish. I don't see what's wrong with it besides the gel that might be in the jar and the loaf shape. That gel's just to keep it fresh. When it's at room temperature, it's not the best. Yet again, I forget to put it in the refrigerator early enough before the seder, and it was just slightly cooler than room temperature. Still tasty, though.
 
Made the matzo balls from a mix, and they came out big and fluffy. For the soup part, I used chicken broth, carrots, and parsley. This is only the 2nd time I've made it like this. In the past, I sometimes would get it already made in a jar, or one of my parents would make it. Dad came home towards the end of the seder, and asked if she could have some of it. I, of course, said sure. She said she would have added onions, or shallots, or garlic, or celery. I was thinking of adding dried onions, but ended up forgetting about them while I was hectically cooking. She also said I should make it my own. Well, I think I did, don't you think? Except for the dried onions, anyway. It's supposed to be simple. The main attraction's the matzo balls. She did say it was good.
 
For the main dinner part, I had roasted chicken, salad greens with a garlic dressing, and 'savory' herb stuffing. We got a full roasted chicken like we sometimes do on Fridays. So, we just left a little bit for the seder. It was more than I expected, and I only had half of what was left, but it was still good. The garlic dressing seemed decent. I was surprised by how much the stuffing looked and tasted like regular stuffing. It used farfel as its base. They had me saute that in vegetable oil, add boiling water after it sat, add seasoning, and let it simmer until the liquid was gone. Very interesting.
 
For dessert, I wanted to try a little of everything. I tried to slice the chocolate chip cake as thinly as I could, so I wouldn't be too full to try the other stuff. That was even better than I remembered! Had a toffee crunch macaroon, a triple chocolate macaroon, a marshmallow, a candy fruit slice, and a chunk of the dark chocolate seder plate. I've had the toffee crunch macaroons and fruit slices before. In fact, those fruit slices are usually what we get. Although, some years we skip them. We usually get candied orange peels, too. I either didn't see them or remember them. The rest of the stuff was basically new for me. The triple chocolate macaroon is a chocolate-coconut macaroon with chocolate chips and is covered in chocolate. Surprisingly, really good. The marshmallow is super dense, and kind of has a more marshmallow flavor than a regular one. If that's possible. The seder plate was difficult to break and it's super thick. It has a beautiful and intricate design. Probably will take a while to eat...I think I still ended up eating too much, even though I tried to give myself small portions of things.
 
Last night we went to our friends' seder. I think there were about 10 of us in total. A pretty large group. The dogs were really happy to see us again, although they seemed less energized.
 
I did end up making the popovers, even though I really wasn't feeling it this year. It wouldn't have mattered if I modified it more, it's still the same thing essentially. My mom made them and brought them for a few years. Then, she stopped when she started to get really sick. I ended up making them during that time, and have kept it going. I just realized, I probably have been making them longer than my mom did...So, they're more of my thing than it was for her. Yet, I think people want them every year because it reminds them of her...I think they were originally from her grandmother's recipe, and she ended up writing it down at some point? I don't know why she didn't start making them sooner.
 
The only thing I didn't really care for was their matzo ball soup during the meal. I normally don't like it anyways. I always end up adding a lot of salt to it. The chicken broth, I think, is homemade but there's no flavor to it. Normally, homemade stuff is better. Their matzo balls always end up too big and fluffy, and not really shaped like balls. More like they're shaped like mountains. Not much flavor in those either. I usually have it, because I don't want them to feel bad. It usually looks like they spend a lot of time on it. The appetizer before the seder was chopped liver and matzo. I hate chopped liver, so I stayed away from it. Usually, there's an alternative to something like that. Anyways, there was brisket, my popovers, the salad greens we brought with some dressings, a vegetable blend (kind of like a bake), hard-boiled eggs, and gefilte fish for the dinner. For dessert, there were chocolate covered marshmallows with nuts on top, candy fruit slices, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and a fruit salad. The cookies always look like mounds of chocolate chip cookie dough. They're super good, and still kosher for Pesach.
 
It was nice to see everyone there. Haven't seen at least one of them for a few years. She seemed to gush over me at one point, which I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or feel uncomfortable. It was a weird feeling, but I know she meant well about it. All in all, it was a nice seder.
 
I recently was messaged in fb's instant messenger, from someone who's apart of 2 of the closed ace groups I'm apart of. I know I had recently posted about 2 things in one of those groups, so I thought either they wanted to talk about those or they wanted to be friends. It was a guy who said it would be an honor to get to know such an amazing woman. Since I was thinking this came from an ace person, that they just really wanted to get to know me. So, I gave him a chance. Notice, he never said he was actually ace during the entire conversation. That should have been a flag early on. Eventually, the topic turned to relationships. I said I was aro ace, and would love to be in a qpr. I had to explain what a qpr was, which was understandable. Eventually, he said he wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with. That was my cue to leave. Just the wording of it seemed odd. I don't know if he was actually a romantic ace or not ace at all. I'm leaning towards not ace at all. But, then again I've never dealt with a romantic ace like that before...There are quite a few allies in every fb ace group I'm in. Some of these 'allies' tend to be people who try to 'fix' us, which is scary stuff. I've already read about a few people who have been kicked out and banned from those groups because of that sort of behavior. Even if they might have been a romantic ace, they were really pushing the romance on me. The aro part of me was getting really uncomfortable. So, I stopped talking to him, and banned him so he couldn't bug me anymore.
 
Another thing I've noticed, there was also a recent article I've read about it, is that ace stuff seems to be centered on romantic aces. Even some ace activists will say things like: "We're not broken, we still fall in love!" This makes aro aces feel even more broken than they might already feel. Also, I recently saw a positivity meme lumping heteroromantic aces, aro heterosexuals, and aro aces together. I don't care what it was about, it seemed wrong to throw aro aces in there. I understand putting the first 2 in there and telling them they belong or whatever. But, being aro ace, there is no hetero in there. It's basically saying the default is 'straight', which hurts everyone. I have rarely heard people say aro aces are 'basically' straight. It's only been a few people on tumblr to be exact. A lot of people just don't know what to make of us. Also, read an article where someone seemed to think you couldn't be both aro and ace. They weren't either of those, by the way. It still felt so wrong to me.
 
There's an interesting app that people keep talking about called GayBFF. It's basically a platonic dating app for LGBTQ+ people. My type of thing. I so wanted to somehow find someone for a qpr, and this sounded like it'd help. The main focus in a qpr is emotional/platonic attraction. In a 'normal' relationship, it seems the main focus is romantic and/or sexual attraction. 2 attractions I don't have. Oh, and platonic attraction is a lot more than 'just friends'. So, this would have been perfect. Anyways, I created my profile, and looked at my matches. The closest ones were in Seattle. No one on this side of the water. That's too far for me, and people shouldn't have to go all the way out there for it. (Or, for everything for that matter.) What I put for people I'm looking for was really open. All the orientations, genders, etc. Just no one who smokes or is a heavy drinker. The other side of this is they didn't have ace listed, but they did have 'other'. I noticed there were a few aro aces that said it in their profile. So, that's not bad. I'm happy I saw those few, actually. The app might be so new that people locally might not know about it or are thinking about it. So, maybe in the future I'll try it again. Kind of sad, though.
 
Since no one showed up to the local ace meeting last time, I started an ace media list while I was there. Things like books, movies, TV shows, music, plays, podcasts, etc. Those that have either asexuality as a theme, or characters that are ace, musicians who are, etc. I've been weeding out the ones that make fun of asexuality, or the creator didn't understand what it really meant, or it was vaguely 'implied'. So, they're more authentic. I also want a representation of ones on the spectrum, and different romantic orientations (that includes aces who are aro and people on that spectrum). One site had a huge list of stuff, and that was a good starter for me.
 
I'm surprised by how many anime characters there are. I know the most recent one was when the creator of One Piece basically said during an interview that Luffy is aro ace. Luffy is the main character of the series. It's considered one of the most popular anime/manga in history. (It's also one of the longest running.) One of the reasons why I was reluctant to try the anime, actually. I don't think the creator actually used the words aromantic and asexual during the interview. However, he said that Luffy isn't attracted to anyone romantically or sexually. His loves are adventure and food. His friends are his family. So, he's very close with them. After hearing about this, I actually like Luffy more now. I think I mentioned a lot of this last time, but it's still interesting. And, that was before I looked at the list.
 
I actually found a handful of asexuality-themed songs. One is rather hokey, and there was one that I thought was really good. The others were so-so.
 
This list could actually be a really good thing to do. Raising awareness, and saying there is some representation out there. Might be good for people who don't know about asexuality. Might change people's minds about it, too. I could share it in many different places online eventually. I want some input from the local ace group I started on fb. Hopefully, in person during our offline meetings. I might bring it up again soon. Maybe show what's on there already when I do. Or, I could also make it like an open document where people add stuff they know about. Maybe both? It can be flexible.
 
We're now up to 13 members. Yay! One person asked to join, and I noticed they were a swinger. A lot of their profile page was very sexual. Even their profile pic was. So, I ignored that one. First time I had to decide on it like that. Then, yesterday, another person asked to join. There was no sexual content, so I approved them. If there is sexual content, or it's suggested, or I see they're something like a swinger; I'm not going to approve it. Some aces are into things like bdsm, work in the 'adult' industry, or are apart of organizations like the Center for Sex Positive Culture. We have different views with these, though. With the Center for Sex Positive Culture, they seem to be truly sex positive. Meaning they look at all orientations in a positive light. The one in Seattle has some ace related events. They would actually like feedback for more ideas on events. I'm somewhat interested in going to those events, actually. Many aces are sex-positive. Even if they're sex-repulsed when it involves themselves. Also, in general, many groups on fb don't approve people with such content. I'm happy we've made it to 13, though. For a while we were at 9. There's a lot of people I don't know in the group now, which I think is pretty cool. I'm glad we have some allies, as well. They can help the group just by learning about it, spreading the word about the group, seeing what they can do, etc.
 
Also, someone mentioned bringing up ace stuff at a diversity conference. I'd be really nervous to talk in front of a lot of people like that. But, I'm slightly interested in talking/presenting at events in the future. I'd probably have to make a powerpoint or at least have lots of notes. I wouldn't be sure where to begin. How else are people going to learn about it, if they don't hear from people who actually are ace? There aren't that many people presenting on it in general. I think people will like to hear from actual aces, rather than from people who've just researched it. Maybe sharing personal experiences will help, too. At least, to show that we're not all the same.
 
I'm almost ready to publish the print version of Alliance on Amazon. I essentially just have to go over the proof preview, and then move on to the pricing. (I've always thought the first sentence sounded awkward, so I'll change that first. I think I've figured out a better way to word it...) I briefly looked at that proof a few days ago. It was really cool to see the cover, spine, and back art put together. You can twirl the outside of the book around and see it from several angles.
 
I like the overall concept for the entire cover. There's a wall with a grey-ish and black dirty looking floor on the front. A teardrop is in the middle, and it shows part of a garden scene. The teardrop has a glowing effect on the wall. The spine is made to look like it's where the wall ends, and it has a 'marble' effect that to me looks like a shadow of trees/leaves. The back is the full pic of the garden that's lighter, and somewhat glows itself. I distorted the actual pic a little. It's of a pic I took when I went to a local park/garden a while ago. Thought it was a cool looking scene. The lettering on the front and spine is white, and on the back it's black. A lot of the theme of the book is nothing is as it seems. The humans seem to have it more difficult than the demons do. So, it's like the humans are looking through the teardrop side. But, things might not be so great on the other side. It's kind of an abstract thing. I think with just having the front cover, it didn't illustrate the full meaning. So, this might work better. It's interesting to see the guts of it, too. I'm getting excited about it!

Sweet Endless Terror will be a bit different. I might have it about half the size of Alliance, since it's roughly half as long in Word. It's also 12 short stories, so there's no actual 'chapters' to it. Should be interesting. The front cover will be the same with the skull and candle I drew/colored, and the black background. The lettering on the front is the same color as the flame. The spine will be black with the same color/font text. The back will have my drawing of a bloody knife standing on its tip with a red ribbon flowing down/over it. I thought that looked cool. The knife and the ribbon (separately) have big roles in 2 of the stories. Maybe I'll make the back cover text the same color as the blood? It'll also have a black background. I'm adding a description to this on the back, like I did for Alliance.