3rd Day of Sukkot

I can't believe it's already Sukkot. Sukkot (singular: sukkah) lit. means booths, and are temporary walled structures that we build and 'dwell' in during the holiday. It's a harvest festival that lasts for 8 days. It's supposed to be one of the most joyful holidays. People eat and sometimes sleep in their sukkah. We used to put up our own. It just ended up being too much of a hassle to put up. Really needed more than 2 people to put it together, and we stopped asking people to help us at some point. The wood, I think, ended up rotting and couldn't be used anymore. It was nice when we had it up, though. Like what's custom to do, we had guests or ushpizin over for dinner in it for the first few nights. They were usually our neighbors and were not Jewish. That was fun, and they seemed to enjoy it, too. Now, with covid, it probably wouldn't be wise to do that. We usually ate almost every meal in the sukkah. It was interesting eating outside like that. 

This is my wallpaper for October. It's Overhaul or Kai Chisaki from Boku no (My) Hero Academia. He was the main villain of the anime's 4th season. He was also the boss of a yakuza group, not related to the League of Villains. I think he was one of the best villains of the series so far. He wanted the world to go back to the way it was before Quirks or powers. He was cruel to the yakuza's boss' granddaughter, Eri. Using her blood in special bullets that takes away the victim's Quirk. It doesn't necessarily kill the person, but if they're a pro hero, they'll feel like their livelihood was snatched away. I think there were bullets that also enhanced Quirks, and he used them on his own underlings. The problem with that was sometimes it enhanced them too much, and the power was too great for them to handle. So, they'd go crazy. Thought this seemed somewhat Halloween-like. There's another season coming up, but it won't be until Spring of 2021. Kind of a while. It'd be great to see what happens next. 

The month-long holidays for October are: National Apple Month, National Caramel Month, National Cheese Month, National Chili Month, National Cookie Month, National Pasta Month, National Pretzel Month, National Seafood Month, American Pharmacists Month, Bat Appreciation Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Corn Month, LGBTQ+ History Month, German-American Heritage Month, National Cookbook Month, Pizza Month, Polish-American Heritage Month, Sausage Month, Spinach Lovers Month, Talk About Medicines Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. There are a lot this month. I don't think pharmacists get enough credit. Without them and the meds they make, I wouldn't be able to function. They should be celebrated for the hard work they do. I'm part German, and not that long ago found out I'm part Polish, too. It's good to recognize the history of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Like I mentioned, it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Metastatic or stage 4 breast cancer, which is what I have, doesn't get much in the way of awareness or funding for research. Most of the focus is on the early stages. The ones you can 'beat'. There's no cure for stage 4. The scary thing about that is people are more likely to have it come back as stage 4 after they're 'cured'. They have that forever looming over them. I added an awareness ribbon to my facebook frame for the month. The ribbon is green for spring and the triumph of life over death, pink for the cancer originating in the breast(s), and teal for healing and spirituality. People aren't expected to live very long after being diagnosed with stage 4. About 27% are alive 5 years after diagnosis. 11% after 10 years. I hope I can live much longer than that. (And, that the quality of my life is good.) The stats are old, things have advanced since then, it all depends on what type of breast cancer, etc. Many factors. I'm lucky mine's not triple negative. That one has the worst life expectancy. Mine's er+, pr+, and her2-. Another way of saying it is positive for both hormones and negative for her2. Mine tends to be mixed with how long people tend to live with it. I also don't know much about other people who have it as infiltrating ductal carcinoma or IDC. It's one of the most common types, though. There's a lot to it. 

It's been a while. I think it's the first time I actually didn't post during a month. I might try to get back to doing this on a regular basis. In order to help with getting back into things, I decided to make a schedule. Not with my Google calendar, but in my Notes on my iPhone. That way the times can be easily flexible, and I can put something else in the time 'slot' if I wanted to. It worked pretty well yesterday and, so far, today. It's kind of fun to check off things again on there, too. 

Had a shower today. A couple of weeks ago, there was an issue with it. I was supposed to get one on that Monday. Sometimes, if my home aide forgets or something, I have one on Tuesday. That would have been fine. However, no one showed up for either days. Wednesday afternoon, my palliative care nurse, Brian, called. I told him about the showers, and he seemed upset about it and called Home Health. He was able to get me an appointment for that Friday with someone I didn't really know. Luckily, my usual home aide, Savannah, came that day instead. (Normally the 2nd day is on a Thursday.) Apparently, she was sick most of that week, and assumed they would find someone to see me while she was out. She said that's the usual procedure. Nobody followed up on it, though. This is one of the only things that I've had issues with, which is that unpredictability. I wish it was more set. Even the times during our usual days change. She tries to keep it around 11am most of the time, but sometimes it's much earlier or later. I'm glad I at least get them most weeks. I kind of wish that I could have one more day than the 2 I get, but it's not bad. 

I'm taking 2 chemo meds now, Ibrance and Arimidex. I've been getting more side effects lately. I thought I wouldn't get this one, but I'm loosing my hair. It seemed to take a while. Maybe for me to notice it. It's coming out in clumps. I've decided to have most of it shaved off. It'll be a drastic change, but that way I can be more in control of it. The earliest appointment my hairstylist had was for the 28th. I wanted it sooner. Not sure what my hair will be like by then. I'll tell her about the cancer stuff, too. It might shock her, but hopefully she'll understand why I'd want it shaved. I don't want to be completely bald, just have a little there. I plan to wear knit hats instead of wigs or scarves like so many other cancer patients do. They'll keep my head warm this way. I ordered 7 of them on Amazon. I have 4 of them so far. They all fit pretty well, even with my long hair. I might wear them on a regular basis, if it gets to be too much with the hair loss. The other major side effect I've had has been fatigue. I just feel so wiped out most of the time. 

We had a plumber look at both toilets, since mine and the one downstairs were acting up. There's only one other toilet in the house. That being my parent's. It felt weird having to use it. I don't know what I would have done if I needed to use it in the middle of the night. I wouldn't want to wake her. Supposedly, they are both fixed. However, the plumber said the one downstairs is old and will need to be replaced with a new one soon. It's always had issues, so makes sense it needs to be replaced. He said he could install the new one for us. I'm glad I can use mine again, but I don't trust that downstairs one. This means I'm still going up the stairs to go to the bathroom. That's dangerous for me. They (the palliative care team) want me to stay downstairs most of the time. There's less of a risk of me falling and easily breaking bones that way. I still need to go up them for things like showers and getting dressed. My computer's up there, too. 

Managed to get an hour of reading in today. I'm trying to go through those 6 books I got from My Thrill List. I'm reading a different one every day, so I don't feel stuck on one. Today I read A Noise Downstairs by Linwood Barclay. Got through a good chunk of it. I think it's one of the better of the 6. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out. 

Haven't studied Welsh through Duolingo in a long time. Finally got back to it. Surprised I managed to remember as much as I have. It was enough to open another unit or checkpoint. Hopefully, I can keep it up this time. 

Got back into looking for quotes from Alliance. I haven't done anything related to writing/my books in a very long time. In fact, the last time I searched for quotes from it was back in February. I hope I can keep this up. I was almost done with looking through it. I just need to finish looking through what little is left, then move on to Alliance: Dawn. Hopefully, I can go through all the books I'll look for quotes in quickly, and then move on to other things. For instance, making an author card, drawing things relating to some of the books, making trailers, deciding on which recipes to show in the trailers, etc. Fun stuff. 

9th of Adar

This is my wallpaper for March. It's Zoro from One Piece. One of the coolest characters in the series. Also, one of the strongest, despite not having eaten a Devil Fruit. Devil Fruits give people powers. For instance, Luffy, the captain of the Straw Hats and main character, ate a fruit that turned his body into rubber. Brook ate one before he died that brought him back to life many years later as a skeleton. He's essentially immortal. He can also leave his 'body' as a ghost to explore things. The downside to eating a Devil Fruit is that the user will never be able to swim again. If they land in the water, their power gets drained, and they start drowning. Being pirates, that's a pretty big downside. Luffy has had to be rescued at least a few times because of this. Zoro does have a possessed sword, but he'd still be powerful without it. He fights with 3 swords when he's serious. It seems one of the few weaknesses he has is easily getting lost. He's horrible with directions (even his own), and ends up walking the wrong way. In fact, in the current arc of the anime, he went the wrong way and is getting to know more of the people of Wano on his own. He was supposed to meet up with the others. He found a boat (I guess he thought going by boat would be a shortcut?), people on the boat gave him free food (big deal, considering so many people are starving to death outside of the capital), he gambled for a while, saved someone, and that someone showed him the way to his village. Pretty big detour. 

The month-long holidays for March are: National Frozen Food Month, National Noodle Month, Irish-American Heritage Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. 

Purim starts Monday night. Depending on how people follow it, it ends either Tuesday night or Wednesday night. We retell the story of Esther, usually in a fun way. Sometimes with skits. Each name has a certain thing the audience can shout out. Like, Haman, the villain, gets boo'd at and we use groggers (noisemakers) every time he's mentioned. Some cheer when Mordechai and/or Esther's names are read. Some make fun of how clueless the king is. It can get pretty rowdy. Especially, when you throw in that the adults are supposed to drink until they can't tell the difference between the villain and the hero. Plus, there's candy and hamantaschen (triangle-shaped jam-filled cookies), and usually a carnival. Dressing up in costumes is a big thing, too. Some have likened that part and the candy to a Jewish Halloween. There's another tradition where people hand out goodie bags/baskets (mishloach manot) to family, friends, and neighbors. Usually filled with food and/or drinks. People also give to charity. It's a fun holiday. Haven't attended a service or carnival for it in a very long time. I think they actually have hamantaschen now at our local market. I might try those, but they're vegan and use soy-based things...I'd rather it be the normal ones. 

With Purim coming up, that means there's roughly a month until Passover. Not much time. It's an even bigger holiday, especially because of the dietary restrictions. It has to be planned. I think this year I might try to get things online again. As long as I do it early enough, that should be fine. I ordered a little too close to the holiday last year. It looks like I'll be alone for both of the first nights. (It lasts for 8 days.) So, I'll have both seders (ritual dinners) all to myself at home. That's not too bad. Less food to think about, and don't have to bring something to another person's seder. Plus, I can eat what I like at both. 

Since Sunday, I've been having severe back, shoulder, neck, and hip pain. Stiffness, too. Really awful along my spine. It's actually gotten so bad, I'm having trouble moving around. Really having a hard time getting up from lying and sitting positions. It's like my body just doesn't want to do it, not only because of the pain. I've come close to not being able to get out of bed the last couple of mornings. Looking at my back yesterday, I noticed 2 huge lumps. One over my spine, and one over my left shoulder. I don't know if I simply imagined them, though. If I didn't...that doesn't sound good. Sometimes it hurts just to breathe. I thought it might be related to being constipated, but after 'fixing' that, it seems to have gotten worse. I'm really nervous about it now. However, I can't do anything until I've gotten approval to be put back on my health insurance. As soon as I do, I'm going to Urgent Care for this. I'm not sure how long I can wait after that, if it doesn't go away on its own. I do plan to get a new primary care doc, too. If this gets much worse while I'm waiting for that approval, I may need to go to the hospital, even though I really don't want to unless I'm covered. 

There might be hints that I'll be approved soon, because of getting 3 (I think) checks of a sizable amount recently. They did say they'd back pay it, however I haven't really done much since I've been off it. I only saw my primary, which they billed as a phone visit. That's not much even when you're not insured. Certainly not as much as what's on one or two of those checks. I'm not sure why they paid me so much. Oh, and my current med is the same price it would be if I were covered, so it doesn't seem related to that. It's nice, but weird.  

Despite the pain, I managed to make a dinner and dessert on Monday. It had been a while since I felt like I actually cooked. Made Philly Cheesesteak stuffed pasta shells for the dinner. Found the recipe on Pinterest. I had been wanting to make it for a while. Sounded so good. I cooked the 'filling' the way I normally would for something like a ground beef, onion, and green bell pepper mixture. They wanted me to do it in a weird way that would create even more dishes. I did add a little margarine (I used that instead of the butter that was listed) into the mixture. That filling is seasoned with Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, salt, and pepper. It was my first time dealing with jumbo pasta shells and stuffing them. That was interesting, and kind of a fun part. After they're stuffed, cheddar is sprinkled over them. The cheese sauce was made in the same pan that the beef mixture was in, so it picked up those flavors. On top of that the sauce has more cheddar, beef broth, milk, and some corn starch to thicken it. They have you pour half of that between the shells before putting it in the oven. Then, you add the rest to individual portions. It was more of a to-do than I thought it would be, but it was really worth it. It turned out amazing! Made a lot, too. Since I'm the only one eating it, I've been having it for meals throughout the week. 

I also made a cherry cheesecake. Recipe came from my cookbook, My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes. I haven't done many things from it, so I thought I'd explore a bit. Plus, it let's me, and others, see what things look like. There are no pics in the book. This was one of the first dessert recipes in it. Seemed really simple. I think it was from the 80's. They have you mix cream cheese and powdered sugar together, then fold in Cool Whip, pour that into a graham cracker (or shortbread) pie crust, top with a whole can of cherry pie filling, and chill it in the refrigerator. It ended up making a little too much filling/cheesecake for the crust to handle, so I had to throw out the excess. I got more of the cherries on there than I thought I could, but still had 1/4 of a can left. Oh well. The finished product was awesome! Tastes even better than Safeway's cheesecakes. It ended up really thick with the filling, too. Feels like I get a substantial amount with each slice. 

I plan to go back to doing a Pinterest recipe every week, along with one from my cookbook. I'll switch the types around, as well. For instance, next time I'll make a dessert from Pinterest, and a dinner from the cookbook. I do have drink and snack recipes for both, too. I suppose I could just do a different combo each time. Doesn't have to be a dinner and dessert. So, I'll see how that goes.

Since I'm in so much pain, I feel like not eating much today. Last night, things filled me up more than they should have, and I had a weird feeling of my stomach creating bubbles. Had hiccups when I tried to sleep after that. So, all I plan to have today is a little of the pasta thing, and maybe cheesecake for 'dinner'. Enough to take my med and have it regulated. Plus, at least I won't waste what I made. This isn't a good thing to do when you have colitis, though. I try to have 5 small meals a day (I splurge a bit during the weekend and some Wednesdays), so things are balanced. Keeps me from being too nauseated, oddly enough. Also, I already have issues with absorbing certain things like protein. Eating the way I am today for a longer period of time, will cause a lot of issues. Could even spark a flare. I suppose it's ok every once in a while to eat like this. 

Youtube:

Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer):

One Piece:

12th of Shevat

This is my wallpaper for February. It's Allen, the main character, from D.Gray-man. Kind of fits my mood for Valentine's Day. A lot of the month is set up around it, especially at places like grocery stores or in commercials. It promotes amatonormativity, which can hurt everyone, not just aromantic people. It's the assumption that everyone's striving for a romantic partner, it's central (most important relationship), exclusive, monogamous, and part of what makes us human. It ignores little known relationship types, like queerplatonic ones. I would really like to be in one in the future. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week starts a week after the holiday, so that's something to look forward to. It's perfect timing. 

Tu B'Shevat is coming up Sunday night. That's our new year for the trees. One of my fave holidays. You get to eat a lot of fruit and nuts (not so much for me, since it's a trigger food), appreciate trees, and more. 

The month-long holidays for February are: National Canned Food Month, National Cherry Month, National Potato Lovers Month, Barley Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Cherries and potatoes are a couple of my fave foods! 

I created an author Instagram account: R C MacDonald I've been basically testing the waters this week. Wasn't sure exactly how I wanted it. It's a mix of topics from my books (fantasy, horror, LGBTQ+, Judaism, cooking, etc.), a little on my personal life, and my book stuff. I might just change the 2nd sentence of my bio to: A writer's world. Not as clunky...My book stuff will be things like a stack of my books, quotes from them, book trailers, author business card, etc. 

The things I didn't create will be from Pinterest and facebook mainly. Of course, I'm crediting them. I'm finding a lot of interesting things on Pinterest for the 'fantasy' part. Beautiful art relating to 'demons' in Alliance. Of dragons, phoenixes, griffins, wraiths, cat demons, etc. Nice eye candy, but when I post them, I'll also give info on characters from the story. For instance, info on Gun with the dragon pics. Or, on Zero with the phoenix ones. That way people get to know the series more. I have plenty of stuff for my colitis, LGBTQ+ stuff, food, some for horror, lots of animals, music/clarinet, and some quotes from other people on boards on Pinterest. Quite a lot of material. 

I've decided it might be easiest to set a theme every day. This is what I think might be best: Monday for fantasy or writing in general. Tuesday for LGBTQ+ things. Wednesday for horror or chronic illness. (They seem to go together pretty well, oddly...) Thursday for cooking. Friday for Judaism. Saturday for animals or more Judaism. Sunday for music. This will change during holidays or awareness weeks. During those, I could post about them. Like, with Tu B'Shevat, I'll post on that during it. Aro stuff during the week of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness week. It might switch up when I have something to share of my books or personal life, too. People will expect certain content most of the time, which should be a draw for some. 

I was posting once a day this week, but I think I'll try posting twice a day next week. Probably one in the morning/early afternoon and one at night. Except, I'll only post once on Saturdays, after Shabbos ends. The 2nd post on Friday will be a little earlier than the rest of the week, too. I think I can have quite a lot of fun with this, and not have to do a lot for it. It'll be a view not only into my books, but my personality and identity. 

I'm posting the same stuff to my author fb page. That might have added things occasionally. Today, I liked many pages as my page. (Fave pages that I already liked on my personal one.) Wanted to see what that would be like. It might be a way for people to get more info on things, as well. Things like Judaism, LGBTQ+ people, IBD, etc. My page could become a resource with that. I couldn't like pages as a page on my phone, which was weird. 

I've been searching for quotes from Alliance, as well as settings/building descriptions. Found quite a lot for the descriptions, and more than I thought I would for quotes. Plan to fill out author interview questions on Smashwords at some point. Really want to start a vlog, too. That would help with more exposure. 

Ordered author copies of all 5 paperback versions of my books from Amazon. I thought it would be much more expensive. With shipping and handling, taxes, and printing/manufacturing costs together it's $26. For 5 books, that's nothing. Just with the printing part, they ranged around $3 to $4 each. I thought that part would be more. Very interesting. I should get it Tuesday at the earliest. They make them as soon as you buy them, so it takes a little time to put them together. I'm ok with that. I'm excited about actually being able to touch and hold them. They're like my babies. I do have a print out of the very 1st rough draft of Alliance. I don't think it was all of it. Having that is very different than an edited (without marks all over it) and finished actual book. 

My memoir, More Than Meets the Eye, is now on Smashwords. It won't be released until the 28th, but it is on preorder. It was approved for their Premium Catalog unusually quickly. I got the 1st approval in about the first few minutes. That's the auto vetter part, where they automatically check the formatting. The 2nd approval is manual and takes a few days for authors who've previously submitted works, and about 2 weeks for new ones. I submitted it yesterday afternoon, and was fully approved early this morning. Probably the fastest approval for one of my books. The only thing I didn't like was they only had a Gay & Lesbian category, not an LGBTQ+ one. Not even a trans one, if they were just split up. Since I'm neither gay nor lesbian, it feels really weird to put it under that. It ignores other people in the community, too. Yet, I did see some authors using it for books relating to other parts of the community. I at least tagged it as LGBTQ. Also, tagged it as agender, asexual, and aromantic. There were very few books under the agender tag, and they were fictional. Similar with aromantic. That might make it easier for people to find. I already have the most page views for its 1st day compared to my other books. There have been 4 sample downloads, too. 

Got tired of playing Oblivion. It really got boring. I don't use that word lightly. The scenery was great, though. So, I've been trying various games on PS4 Now to find something to stick to. The most interesting one so far has been G-d of War 3: Remastered. It's based on a lot of Greek mythology, which is fun to me. Your character is Kratos, and he is seeking revenge against Zeus. The cinematography is really great. Feel like it's a movie even when it's not a cut scene. There are a lot of puzzles in it, which surprised me (especially with the type of game it is), but that adds another interesting layer. First game I played where you get trophies. That's fun. Got one for killing Poseidon. That was pretty epic. Made the seas rise. Also one for incinerating Apollo. I thought they wanted me to save him, but there wasn't a way to do so. He was imprisoned in part of Hades, near the River Styx. The bramble around him made it look like a prison cell. I managed to ride Cerberus and have him spit fire balls. I thought he would only set fire to the brambles, so I could free Apollo. No...The fire immediately engulfed him, and didn't hit the brambles much. It was pretty horrific to watch him. At least, I got his bow and arrows. I can set things on fire with that. I'm trying to defeat Hades at the moment. I don't think I've actually seen him yet. Just a statue, and his wife Persephone in a casket hanging in front of it. There are also notes written by people that were sent there, people praying to seemingly nothing, and a giant in the forge area. Apparently that giant is a friend of Kratos, but is stuck there. I don't remember his name. Interesting details. At some point, I might play Red Dead Redemption 2. It's the prequel to that franchise. My parent really likes that game, and it sounds detailed and fun.

I've decided to stop the Duolingo Scottish Gaelic course. I'm really tired of it, and there's not much content. Half of the units have been leveled out completely, the other half all have the 1st level cleared. Not bad. I'm thinking of starting either Polish or Welsh on Monday. 

I've been having some bad pain days lately. The type of pain I know that's associated with colitis. It feels like part of my intestines blew up on my left side. It's somewhat hard there. Maybe it's from inflammation? My back and other areas of my abdomen feel really sore. Hopefully, it just needs to heal for now. Going to the bathroom a lot more often again, too. It's better than having a lot of that other stuff, on top of it, before I tapered off of Lialda. Still difficult, though.

Happy New Year!

Hopefully, this year will be amazing! The 2010s were rocky for me, to say the least. Some really amazing moments, and some of the worst. Being sick at the end of 2019, just goes along with how that year was. I plan to post more often on here, again. I might get into vlogging on youtube. I've been meaning to try it out, but haven't gotten the guts to do it yet. I have a webcam built into my new (I still feel like it is) computer, so it should be easier than doing it on my phone. I want to get back to medically transitioning this year. I'll feel a lot better mentally, which might help me 'cope' with the other physical health stuff. I want a new primary doc, rheumatologist, etc. as well. My current primary doc misgendered me at the end of my last appointment, and made me feel awful about something else. The rheumatologist doesn't seem to know how to order lab tests, which I think is a real problem. Hopefully, I can see a dermatologist and a new gastroenterologist. Plan to do a lot of promoting my books after I republish them. (The revised versions.) Making business cards, author pages/sites, book trailers, and more. So, there's already a lot of things planned for this year. 

This is my wallpaper for January. It's Zenitsu from Kimetsu no Yaiba or Demon Slayer. He's annoying at times, but when he's in battle-mode, he's pretty cool. His personality completely changes. Seems like a part of him goes to sleep. He has a lightning-based ability after being struck by a lightning bolt. It affected him so much that even his hair and eye color changed. Thought this was an interesting and elegant one. 

The month-long holidays for January are: National Candy Month, National Egg Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. 

I actually forgot to get new calendars until today. Ordered another Jewish Historical Museum one. The museum is in Amsterdam, and many of their pieces come from what was once the local Jewish community in that area. They also have some from around the world. I really like their calendars, and get them most years. Each month they feature pieces from the museum. It's also a good one to keep track of the Jewish calendar. Our calendar is mainly lunar-based, so holidays seem to change every year in relation to the 'regular' calendar. In reality, they are always the same on ours. Although, some years there are added months for a similar thing to leap years, but most of the time it's the same. The regular calendar doesn't list many of the holidays, and some of them can be inaccurate. It also has the parsha or Torah portion for each week, which is handy. I also ordered another elements calendar. I liked that this past year, so why not get it for this one. They go into a lot of detail for each element. The example pics of things with that element are interesting. I'm surprised that Amazon expects them to be here in 2 days. That's really fast. 

I've been sick with a nasty cold since Saturday. Maybe a little of Friday, too. Although, I just had horrible back pain then. I wonder if it was like a warning beforehand? My back still hurts, but it's not as constant or as intense. This is much worse than when I was sick right after my birthday (Nov. 7th) for a month. I had a breather for about a couple of weeks in between. My nose has been running like crazy, painfully sneezing a lot, coughing attacks, occasionally feeling like I can't breathe, sore throat, and more. It's been so bad, I've resorted to using Safeway's version of DayQuil and NyQuil. Recently started the severe version of the DayQuil, and that's been working a lot better. Using both feels like I'm drugged up a lot of the time, although the illness also makes me feel weird. I've been able to sleep lately, at least. Hopefully, I'll get over this soon. I feel like I'm putting some things on hold because of it. I might try to get at least one 2-mile walk in a day once I beat this. I'm itching to try that again.

I found out recently that I have vision and dental coverage now. Wahoo! I haven't seen a dentist in roughly 14 years (since I wasn't covered), so it'll be interesting to see one now. I might shock them. Vision has been weird. I haven't really had it either. They say I might have, but couldn't access it for some reason. Supposedly, I'll still have health insurance, too. I'm a dependent on my parent's plan, and they changed to a new system that goes into effect this month. I saw that I still had coverage documents right before New Year's. Checked it again afterwards, and those documents disappeared. My card was still in their system and other things indicated I was still covered. There was no denial letter, so I'm guessing I simply have to wait and see. I have a feeling it'll take some time for everything to transfer. Makes me anxious, though. Hopefully, it'll be sorted out in the next couple of weeks, since I'll need to order meds around that time. 

I finished the first level of all the units in Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course. There really wasn't much to it. I try to stick with languages for at least 3 months at a time. It was barely a month's worth when I finished it. So, I'm trying to level out all the units now. There are 5 levels or 'crowns' to each one. Almost done with the Pers. Det. (Personal Details) unit. Only 3 more units until the 1st checkpoint. There are 2 checkpoints. 3, if you count the very end as one. I don't think this will last 3 months, but it'll be better than just a month. I'm now in 8th place of the Obsidian League. There's only one more league. I don't know what that one's called. I've never gotten this far with the leagues.

Finished editing the memoir. It had more errors than I expected, but still better than the others so far. The only one left is the cookbook. This should go pretty quickly. Then, I'll check the formatting of all of them. Haven't done much with drawing lately, since I haven't had the motivation with being sick. 

We normally go to a family friends' (they're a couple) place for New Year's Eve. The same people that host Thanksgiving dinners and Passover seders. Someone that we all knew passed away recently (I was shocked by it), and their dog has cancer (I think). A lot of things at once, so they couldn't do it this year. That's ok. We had our own party. Had snacks off and on from around dinnertime until midnight. Had chips and French onion dip, pickled herring on rosemary crackers, butterflake rolls, gelt (chocolate coins I still had/have from Hanukkah), a 'rainbow chip' (like M&M's, but smaller) cookie, hot chocolate, and sparkling apple cider. (Probably forgot a few things.) Most of it I don't have very often. Forgot that I also got white cheddar Babybel snacks to have a 'new' cheese for the new year. I haven't had that version of Babybel's cheeses. Oh well. I can have it now. 

Rosie seems to be back to her old self. Eating and drinking normally. As far as I know, she hasn't been throwing up. She's been incredibly loving and purring a lot. She knows I'm sick, and has been trying to help me. She's been trying to get me to eat more than usual. Kneading my legs and cuddling up close to my head, which isn't as normal. Every time I have a painful sneeze, when I'm lying down, she checks out my nose. Cute and annoying at the same time. Tasha's even been more loving towards me lately. Greeting me often, asking to be petted, begging for my food, etc.  

Youtube:

One Piece:






One Punch Man:

Mob Psycho 100:

5th of Kislev

This is my wallpaper for December. It's Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler. Seemed good for this month since there's snow, and kind of fits my mood during it. I like Hanukkah a lot, but the Christmas stuff out there, no matter where you go 24/7, gets to be much. It's in your face and on blast. If you don't celebrate that holiday, it gets aggravating after a while. I'm happy when retail people or waiters say things like happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. It's more inclusive and doesn't throw a holiday that you don't celebrate on you. There's a holiday for pretty much everyone this time of year. Including New Year's Eve. I have no problem with friends celebrating it. In fact, I hope it's a great one, and that they knock themselves out with decorating and such. It's the public things that get me the most. (At malls, cafes, other stores, public schools, 'Santa' riding a fire engine through the neighborhood, whole downtown area decorated with Christmas stuff, etc.) Also, Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas. We don't have a holiday like that. Hanukkah is a minor holiday, also referred to as the Festival of Lights. It just so happens to fall around Christmas this year. 

The month-long holidays for December are: National Pear Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Not much this time. I love pears, though. 

My Jewish calendar features 2 menorahs this time. I should say technically hanukiyah, which is the specific menorah used for the holiday. Menorah just means lamp. The one for Hanukkah has 8 branches and one holder for the shamash (helper or leader) candle. Usually the one for the shamash is raised up more than the others and/or is in the middle. A regular one has 6 branches and one holder. So, there is a difference. Each night for Hanukkah we light the shammash and another candle with it. They're really beautiful by the last night. Since my mom used to work for a Judaica shop, she collected a lot of them. Some were free, and some she bought discounted from the shop. Free if they had some minor flaw, like some branches were slightly bent. She and I would sometimes light a bunch of them on top of the piano. It was glorious seeing them all lit up, although it was pretty dangerous, too. When I do it myself now, I usually use one. Sometimes 2 on the last night. I have so many different ones that I inherited from her. I've been using a more traditional one the last few years, but it only uses Shabbos candles, not the slimmer Hanukkah ones. A couple of the branches are bent, too. It's quirky, yet impressive. People can see it more from the outside than the others. We're supposed to have it be seen, so it works. Anyways, one of the ones on the calendar is made out of copper from 1900. The other's iron from 1935. They don't say where they're from, unlike many of the other artifacts in previous months. However, the museum is in Amsterdam. They might have come from there. Interesting to see such old ones. 

The elements calendar features tin this time. They talk about how tin soldiers were almost never made of pure tin. Tin-lead alloys were usually used. Many things called tin don't actually have tin in them, and it's come to mean any sort of thin sheet metal. They show a tin soldier that is 99.99% pure tin. There's a gray tin allotrope growing on a piece of metallic tin. A piece of the mineral cassiterite (tin oxide) from Bolivia. Lead-free solder, which is mostly tin. And, finally ingots of pure tin. Interesting. 

Went to a family friends' place for Thanksgiving. We usually go there. This time it was my parent and I, the 2 hosts, and a work friend of the hostess. I was told there would be 6 of us, so that surprised me. They usually have a sizable crowd for their holiday dinners/parties. (They also host parties for New Year's Eve, sometimes Hanukkah, and a seder during Passover.) For the last couple of years, it's been noticeably smaller. Anyways, I've met their friend before at previous dinners. She's pretty nice and open-minded. They only have one dog left. The other passed away not that long ago. I miss that one, too. They were both big and really friendly. I couldn't eat the green salad we brought, since I'm trying to stay away from pain as much as possible. (Roughage like things scratch up against the scars in my colon. Fun fun.) We also brought a berry/grape salad. Didn't add anything to it, since I'm not familiar with fruit salads. My parent wanted to add whipped cream, which is apparently a thing. I just think fruit is usually good by itself. Like nature's candy. I technically wasn't supposed to eat the berries because of the seeds. I did anyways...The host smoked the turkey, like usual. There was gravy, homemade stuffing (a bowl of it without chestnuts for me), salmon for the person who doesn't eat turkey, cranberry relish (I don't like it, so they usually have the canned jelled stuff for me), cookies, and pumpkin pie. They forgot about a cooked green vegetable, which I probably could have eaten in place of the salad. We played a game of Trivial Pursuit, which is like a tradition there. It used to be very binary with the men against the women. Acknowledging me, and realizing it wasn't the best thing to do anyways, they stopped splitting us up like that. This time it was the 'away team' vs the 'home team'. 3 against 2 isn't bad. If it was with genders in general, I would be by myself and probably wouldn't have gotten very far. (The host would have been too, but he's relatively good at it.) We were in the lead for a while, but the 'home team' won. Sadness. The only thing that I didn't care for was when the hostess was talking shop with her friend for long periods of time. (They both work for OC or Olympic College.) They wanted to share and explain what they went through and such, too. At first it was interesting, then I started to get sleepy. After a while, I kept catching myself before falling asleep. If that was the only down part, that's pretty good. 

Sunday was the start of Crohn's & Colitis Awareness Week. The only things I've done for it are added a frame to my fb profile pic, filled out an infographic on my experience, and shared both to Instagram as well. I've talked about my experience often on here. One thing that's surprised me is that you can still suffer symptoms while in remission. It really depends on how much damage it caused before going into remission. People tend to think in order to be in remission, you must not have related symptoms. Also, there's a high possibility of getting another autoimmune disease eventually with it. I apparently have another one, but they (doctors) don't know what it is yet. So, that's a fun thing, too. There isn't a cure for colitis. This can be hard for many patients to come to terms with. They'll have to deal with it for the rest of their lives. While in remission, it doesn't actually stop. The disease has just gone down to an unnoticeable crawl. 

Finished watching The Truth Seekers. It's a Singaporean private detective drama. They solve cold cases. I liked it a lot. I didn't care for the added tension towards the end. Plus, the love triangle thing...The characters were likable and felt like family. They left it wide open for another season. I'd so watch it if there is one in the future. 

Started watching the 2nd season of High Seas recently. It's a Spanish mystery series set in the 40s on a luxury cruise ship. The cinematography's great, they have elegant costumes that would have been popular at the time, and a lot of aspects are accurate to the way things would have been. The acting is occasionally over-the-top. Very interesting story and kind of cool that most of it is from the perspective of 2 sisters. This season seems a little weird. Ghosts might be involved this time, although it might all be an act by someone they rescued recently. That someone is apparently lesbian or bi. Not sure if that's good representation, considering she could be stealing and a fraud posing as a medium. She kissed one of the sisters that believes her. As far as they've shown, the sister is straight, and recently got married to the owner of the ship. She could be bi...She seemed to like it. They were hinting that she'd do something like that with how touchy-feely she was with her. This season isn't long, and I'm already halfway through it. It'd be interesting to see how it goes. The 1st season was mainly about mysterious murders and the sisters' long-thought dead father. I wasn't sure there would be another season with how the last one ended, so it's been a pleasant surprise.

I finished Duolingo's Dutch course. I was thinking about going back to modern Hebrew next, but their course for it is awful. I can't seem to find any good apps for it, either. I thought about Yiddish, but that's hardly available anywhere. Although, I did read that Duolingo is creating a course for it and might be out in a few months. Started Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course today. It's really new. Newer than I thought. Came out a week ago. There hasn't been any speaking lessons yet, but I'm at the very basic stuff. Some of the other languages didn't have those until a few more units in. They have a lot of different native speakers, which is good to get more of a feel to how it sounds. I knew the language was a little odd, but really looking at it brings that to light more. It's another language that my ancestors spoke, so I thought it would be good to learn that way. Not many people speak it anymore. There is an effort to change that, though. The course looks short, but maybe they're only showing me some of it, then once I get to the last checkpoint shown there will be more. If not, I still feel lucky to get a taste of it. 

Finished editing Alliance: Dawn. Started editing Sweet Endless Terror. It's 12 short stories based on my nightmares. Went through the 1st story: The Head. It's the shortest one. 5 pages of the ebook and 8 pages of the print. I also didn't remember how short the ebook was. It's only 94 pages. The print is 255 pages. I formatted the print to be for a small book, so it makes sense. The difference is weird, though. Especially seeing them side by side. 

Finished fixing the drawing of Junko's lines. In Photoshop, I added color to her skin, eye (she's winking, so only one is open), hair, shoes, and ears. They're not exactly the colors I had in mind, but they're not bad looking. I don't know much about color codes in Photoshop, but I'm looking them up as I go. I'll color in her skirt, socks, and shirt next. Then, I'll mess with shading. I have to remember to go a little darker with that than I did with Shadow. 

Election Day!

I voted through the mail last Wednesday. Some of it was difficult, because I didn't recognize some of the names and they weren't affiliated with certain parties. I tried to make an informed decision on those. 2 of the candidates running for school board, one of them I was familiar with beforehand, would be awful if they won. One that seemed a little too into 'loving kids', and the other is a big transphobe who probably hates anyone else in the greater queer community. I think I also recognized another name that was a member of one of the local synagogues. That'd be cool if she won. Some candidates seemed overqualified, if that were possible. Others essentially said vote for me since I'm running for another term. Nothing on their background or education. One initiative seemed like a no-brainer to be for. Unless you weren't for diversity...Another one was easy to vote against. It was put out by someone who tries to get ridiculous initiatives to pass every year. Usually harmful in some way. I didn't really like that there were so many advisory votes this time. Sure, it's great to get the people's opinion, but you've already voted on them. If there were like 2 or 3, that would have been fine. It seemed like there were around 8 of them. 

This is my wallpaper for November. It's one of Luffy's wanted posters from One Piece. He is a pirate after all. His current bounty is much higher than this. The higher the bounty a pirate has, the higher the notoriety and standing they have in their world. The Marines consider them more of a threat and dangerous the higher the bounty. Sometimes they don't get the right picture of the person, and others are mistaken for them. The currency that most of their world uses is called the Belly or Berry (the English version can't seem to decide, the romaji is berii). There are some islands that have their own currency. Like, Extol for Skypeia and Gor for Amazon Lily. Wano's currency is: Gold, Platinum, and Silver. Wano is where they are in the anime currently. It's inspired by Feudal Japan. The art, isolation of the country, dialects, fashion, culture, having a shogunate, etc. are all based on it. It's interesting how detailed it is. Seems to be like an homage to that time. Not glorifying it, but more like showcasing it. Some of the designs of the characters living in Wano look like they walked right out of some famous art pieces from back then. A different style than most of the series. I think it also shows the hardships of the poor of that time. The creator of the series doesn't shy away from tackling topics like slavery, bigotry, corruption, gender equality, genocide, grief, etc. in general. In Wano, most people are starving and can't afford things like good health care. The water around them is completely polluted and toxic. The animals drink the water and therefore are poisonous to humans. Meanwhile, the capital and major cities are living lavishly. Anyways, I thought this looked fun and cool. Not really birthday related (my birthday's on Thursday), but nice. Luffy is also aro ace, according to an interview of the creator. Pretty awesome that the main character of one of the most popular manga/anime is aro ace! So, somewhat related to me that way.

The month-long holidays for November are: National Peanut Butter Lovers Month, National Pomegranate Month, Banana Pudding Lovers Month, National Memoir Writing Month, National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. 

Last Wednesday, we had a local trans meeting. There were only a handful of us. We had moved to a much bigger room. Seemed funny almost with such a small group of us. Most of the people that were there were non-binary, which was great to me. Not the usual. They wanted to have the same type of top surgery I wanted. People get weirded out when I bring up that nipples cause dysphoria for me, too. It's not just my chest. So, I'll need all of it to go. No masculinizing or feminizing. Simply flat. A member tried to talk me out of it a few months ago. That it seemed too out there. Seeing the pics that people share in fb enby groups of their after nippleless top surgery looks amazing to me. Looks more like how I'd want to see myself. 

We all went to Shari's afterwards. I got their new simple pretzel cheeseburger. The burger seemed like a veggie one. I expected beef. It looked weird. Got their new graveyard shake for dessert. It's supposed to be a s'mores galore pie shake (they blend an entire slice with ice cream to make it) with added chocolate syrup, Oreo crumbs for the 'dirt' part, and gummy worms. They were out of the 'worms', didn't have much of the 'dirt', added a little piece of chocolate on top, and there didn't seem to be any extra chocolate syrup. There was a huge glob of what I think was a concentrated graham cracker ball. It was disappointing and bizarre. 

I felt a little uneasy when one of the new members said that all trans people are autistic. Many trans people are, but many aren't. I think it seems like it's an unusually high percentage because trans people are often tested for it more. Often they, or other people around them, feel like something must be wrong with them for being trans. It's also this way for the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. It's more common in the cis/non-queer population than people think. Many of them go undiagnosed. There's nothing wrong with people who are autistic, but there is something wrong with saying all trans people are. What about cis autistic people? Are they really trans and don't know it? What about trans people who aren't? It might feel invalidating to them to hear that all trans people are. Correlation does not equal causation. I'm not autistic. However, I'm not exactly neurotypical, either. I have a lot of mental health stuff (bipolar 2, anxiety, agoraphobia, PTSD, etc.) and physical chronic illnesses (colitis, possibly another autoimmune disease, Eustachian tube dysfunction, multiple skin issues, etc.). Both have an impact on the way I think that would be different than someone who was healthy mentally and physically. Since I have these things, does it mean all trans people do as well? No. Not at all. I have a different perspective as an aro ace agender person as well. (Compared to allo cis people.) Being trans simply means you have a gender that doesn't match the one you were assigned at birth. That says nothing about mental health, being autistic, or other aspects of who that person is or what they have. Are all cis people the same? No. Thank goodness we're all different. The world would be boring if we were all the same.

We also talked about possibly having a potluck for my birthday at the next meeting tomorrow. Since it's the day before it. We don't celebrate birthdays as a group often. I can only remember 2 times in the past. It might be a fun thing to do in the future for members, though. My parent suggested she'd bring a cake and others could bring snack-like stuff. That sounds good. Not sure if it's actually going to happen. I might forget about it tomorrow until right before the meeting starts. 

Someone on fb friended me that same day. I didn't recognize the name, but their profile mentioned they graduated a year ahead of me at the same high school. Although, they graduated from another high school at the same time...That seemed fishy. They had many mutual friends, so I thought maybe I didn't remember them. He seemed really nice on messenger that first night. Although, he insisted he'd find a way to make me feel better. That seemed questionable. On Halloween, he asked what I'll be doing. Seemed innocent enough. I said probably not much other than watch a horror movie and have dinner out. He asked about wearing a costume. I didn't wear one this year, but I did wear skeleton earrings. He said he'd like to see them in person. He said he doesn't get any trick-or-treaters, and his camper is so cold. He'd want someone with him. According to his profile he's either bi or pan, which I thought was cool. Not cool that he seemed like he was trying to flirt with me, get 'romantic', and creepy. Being aro ace, it takes me a while to realize someone is flirting with me, unless I'm hyper-aware. People tend to think I'm flirting when I'm just being nice, friendly, and polite. I don't want another romantic relationship. I had a boyfriend and that part was suffocating for me. He was all over me trying to be as romantic as possible, and often sexual which I wasn't that into either. I put up with it, because I felt I had to. (Silly society...) I was very attached to him emotionally, and strongly attracted platonically (I guess queerplatonically would be a better word). Because of this, it really hurt when we broke up. Anyways, I would love a queerplatonic relationship instead. It's hard to find that, though. This exchange creeped me out. I also wonder how people can flirt with others when they barely know the person. I understand after knowing the basics of who they are. Why not become friends first? I blocked this person, by the way.

Went to Red Lobster on Halloween for dinner. I was surprised to see any kids there. It was a way to get away from trick-or-treaters for a while. We live right in the middle of the neighborhood, right at a 3-way stop. It's a popular spot to go. It was like that even when I was kid. For the last few years we haven't been handing out candy. It's been nice that way. We just turn out the lights and usually go somewhere else for a while. I got steak with mashed potatoes and a caprese salad there. It comes with a choice of soup or salad. I didn't get either. All their soups now have shellfish or pork products, and the salads upset my gut, particularly the greens part. So, I got none of that. The caprese salad is perfect for me. I don't have issues with tomatoes. I don't eat the onions. The mozzarella is good for protein, and basil is healthy too. It's all in balsamic vinegar, which is oddly good for me. I don't normally get steak, but it was done right. It's a perfect form of more protein. All together, it was one of their lower-calorie meals, so I managed to eat most of it. Had their vanilla bean cheesecake for dessert. One of my faves. I'm never able to finish it, since it's so huge.

I don't really have plans for my birthday. Probably would celebrate it more this coming weekend. I do want brunch at the Oak Table. Went there last year, too. I'd like to go somewhere for a dinner, but not sure what really speaks to me for that. Might be at a Japanese steakhouse, but I also like a lot of other restaurants. Last year, we went to the Cheesecake Factory, I think. I went there not that long ago, so I wouldn't want that. Went to a zoo last year and got a mani/pedi. Not really feeling those this time. Maybe some museums? Not sure which ones, though. 

I've been in even more pain lately. Especially in the right side of my abdomen and more intense patches in my right arm. I also passed quite a bit of blood recently. No #2, just blood. (Not related to a 'monthly friend' I would have if my IUD wasn't working.) That was fun. Had a slight reaction to that. I think my colitis might be flaring, although I've never had blood come out of me like that. I did have occult blood in a test, but none that was visible. It's common for people with Ulcerative Colitis to bleed a lot. I've had symptoms resembling Crohn's Disease more. Crohn's also can affect the colon. I think the pain on my side might be from my colon. That blood might have been from that area. (It hasn't bled since.) It's a constant cramp-like pain. Lying down makes it feel like it's oozing out and it twitches a lot. Not sure about my arm. There's resistance to both arms when I move them. The right one feels like it's been beaten up, someone's pushing on it in certain areas, and it burns. I have to wait to see what goes on with my insurance before I can do much about this stuff. It's just a pain to deal with. Still haven't gotten those 3 other test results back. I don't know if they take a while to run. It'd be nice to know those results already, though.

Youtube: 

One Piece:



Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler):

Fairy Tail:


Ao no (Blue) Exorcist:

Boku no (My) Hero Academia:

One Punch Man:

Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom):

Black Clover:

Bungou (Literary) Stray Dogs:

5th of Tishri

This is my wallpaper for October. It's Gilbert or Gil, who's sometimes referred to as Raven (because of his 'chain'), from Pandora Hearts. This seemed Halloween-like. Pandora Hearts as a series fits well with the holiday. It's loosely based on Alice and Wonderland, complex, some horror, and very dark. The anime didn't really do it justice. I might switch it to something else halfway through the month. 

The month-long holidays for October are: National Apple Month, National Caramel Month, National Pasta Month, National Pretzel Month, Bat Appreciation Month, LGBTQ+ History Month, German-American Heritage Month, National Cookbook Month, Spinach Lovers Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun.

Rosh Hashanah was Sunday night until Tuesday night. It was our New Year (lit. translated to Head [of] the Year), and the first month is Tishri. For RH, we eat honey and sweet things for a sweet year. We eat round challah (an egg bread), which has many meanings. One of them that I like is that it represents the life cycle. Time isn't truly linear in Judaism. Instead, it goes in cycles. We're just starting another one. There are also things like Tu B'Shevat which is the New Year for the Trees. There are technically 4 'New Years', but RH is the main one. I 'attended' the 1st night and 1st morning/afternoon services online. Central Synagogue in NYC live-streamed it all, like their Shabbat ones. It's also the start of the High Holy Days or Days of Awe. That goes for 10 days, and ends with Yom Kippur or Day of Atonement. During those 10 days, it's supposed to be a time of deep introspection, asking forgiveness, how we can better ourselves and the community, and more. The day after RH ends is a minor fast day called the Fast of Gedaliah. I've never observed it, and can't even if I wanted to. I did eat less than usual on Wednesday, though. Some people think it's a warm-up fast day for YK, but it's really remembering the assassination of Gedaliah, who was a governor of Judah. YK is considered to be the most important holiday on the Jewish calendar. It's considered the Shabbat of Shabats. (Shabbat being our day of rest.) We're supposed to fast from sunset to sunset. 25 hours. It doesn't just mean no food, but also no drinks, gum, etc. I can't fast because of my meds and colitis. They say if it'll harm your health, it'll be a sin if you do so anyways. I still feel guilty about it almost every year. Children are also exempt from fasting. 

The elements calendar features copper this time. There's a mini periodic table made out of pure copper, copper in bullion form, a weave chain made out of wired copper, and a brass, which is a copper alloy, ring. It's a very useful element. 

I looked at the test results that recently came back. The x-rays appeared normal. Even though my hands certainly don't seem normal. The lumps are soft tissue-based then, which is better than them being something like calcium deposits. My fingers look more twisted, but they said it looked fine in the x-ray...Pretty much everything but one test came back as normal or negative. The ANCA titer was a strong positive. They said the pattern may suggest 2 rare diseases, but other aspects might go along with IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease), and a couple of other autoimmune diseases. He did warn me that it might pick up on my colitis and be positive that way. The scleroderma blood test noted that getting a negative result doesn't necessarily rule it out. ~20% of patients with scleroderma have positive results for that one. That seems like a small amount. They suggested other tests to try. I'm thinking of asking about those in an email to my rheumatologist. I still haven't made a dermatology appointment, and they might order more tests. My rheum. told me depending on the results, my next office appointment with him would be in 6 months. If the scleroderma test had come back positive, he would have made a phone appointment. He also briefly mentioned lupus and how he didn't want to start treatment for that before they tested for other things. I don't think that's what it is, but at least he seems to be trying to help me. Hopefully, he'll agree to running those other tests.

I've also been getting weird red fluid filled sacs in my mouth. They're not particularly painful, but annoying and a little off-putting. One of the most recent ones showed up right next to where the jaws hinge together in my right cheek. Really far back there. I thought it was a wad of food or something. That's kind of kept me from enjoying food, and deciding to eat less on Wednesday. Most of the time those sacs show up on my lip. The area inside that rubs against my teeth. They end up popping after a while (probably from the rubbing), letting out stuff, and leaving behind craters. I don't think the one near my jaws has popped yet. Although, it does taste weird sometimes. 

I apparently am going to be a social media and camera person for the local trans group. I'm going to create Instagram and twitter accounts for the group. They already have 2 facebook groups. 1 public page, and 1 secret group. Those are essentially covered. There are admins and mods there, and quite a few active people. We just don't have any other social media presence. Not everyone uses facebook. We can't even access the old website, for a variety of reasons. One of the facilitators is going to create a group email account, then I'll create the Instragram and twitter accounts with that. Nice I won't have to use my personal email. I'll also ask members of the secret group on fb, once I've created those other accounts, if they have other social media suggestions. I think these are the main 3 that are the most popular, but I'd still want input. I'll create an image for Instagram to share every time we have a meeting coming up, and maybe one for when the facilitators won't be available (that's rare). With twitter, I could just type that out. I'll create images for events and other announcements, too. I can take pics of the group at special events, like Pride or ones that we create, and post them to those accounts. Of course, I'll ask people before I take the pics if they're cool with being in them. That's important. We could have a record of what the group has participated in this way. I'm thinking of also posting things that are trans related, possibly memes and articles, there as well. That way those accounts can still seem active. We only have 2 or 3 meetings a month. It might be nice to see things in between. I love taking pics, and since I'll be taking them, I might not be in a lot of them. I'm happy with that. Oh and I'll mention if people want the location, they'll have to pm those accounts. It's a safety issue if the exact address is listed publicly. We might need to change to a different room anyways, since a class was meeting Wednesday night in our room at that time. We thought it was cleared up already, but they might need to be 'reminded' every quarter. It's at a college currently. 

Finished watching Kimetsu no Yaiba. The animation was amazing! Apparently, the next story arc will be a movie. They ended it with them making it on a train for their next mission. Only Zenitsu knew what a train was. It takes place during the Taisho period (1912-1926). Tanjirou grew up in the mountains and Inosuke is used to living in the forests. So, of course they aren't going to know much about it. Inosuke thought it was some sort of demon and tried to attack it as soon as he saw it. It's interesting that they sneak in some of the modernization and cultural shifts that were going on at the time. Hopefully, there will be another actual season after that. There were a lot of twists and turns. 

Finished watching the last season of Fairy Tail. It was ok. Somehow the last season didn't seem as great as the previous ones. Fairy Tail's manga started in 2006 and ended in 2017. The anime started in 2009. It's had a lot of breaks between seasons. A lot of people thought the last battle ended too soon and too easily. However, Natsu had the power of all the dragon slayers against that final villain. That was a huge power-up. Some made fun of it because the magic coming off of him at that point was rainbow colored. Saying it was too 'gay' or something. I don't mind the idea of LGBTQ+ community defeating the most powerful villain...I'm surprised they didn't say it looked more like a Power Rangers thing. People also didn't like the idea of friendship giving them boosts. Like friendship is magic. As corny as it sounds, I like that, though. I felt that they considered the guild members as family, not just friends. In fact, the series mentioned that numerous times. That's a stronger type of bond to me. Many fans were pissed off that Natsu and Lucy didn't kiss at the end. I have a feeling Natsu might be aro ace. Lucy obviously isn't. She expected him to kiss her at the end, too. Instead he said that they'll be best friends forever. That was pretty awesome in my view. Many stories that have a boy and girl as protagonists make them end up as a romantic couple. This was a good break from that. They seemed to hint at another season at the end. Even though this was supposed to be it. I don't think I'll watch it if there is.

Finished watching Darr Sabko Lagta Hai or Everybody Feels Fear on Netflix. I liked it overall. Some of it was overacted, corny, and low-budget. Some of the stories were based on Hindu mythology, and others on Indian culture in general. That was really interesting. The 'scariness' was more psychological. Each episode ended with an uneasiness and hints the story never actually ended. I thought that was a smart way of doing it. The last story was the goriest and most brutal. I didn't like that one as much as the others. 

Started watching the 2nd season of Radiant and Ascendance of a Bookworm. I still find it interesting that Radiant is an adaptation of a French manga. There are hints of French culture, history, and humor in it. Ascendance of a Bookworm is another isekai (different world) anime. This genre seems to just be getting more popular every season. It's about a librarian who absolutely loves books. She died one day, but as she was about to she begged that in her next life she'd be able to read all the books she wanted to. Reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode where a man who loves books ends up in a post-apocalyptic world with just books around him, however his glasses break. So, he can't read any of them. She woke up to find that she was reincarnated as a frail little girl. In their world, there are no book stores. Only the very rich can afford books. Each copy is made by hand. Very similar to what it was like before the printing press in our world. Most people in theirs are illiterate. The only thing they can read are numbers for things like prices. She did find one book, but the shopkeeper wouldn't let her touch it. It was too valuable and her reaction was too suspicious. She's decided to write and make her own books instead. Haven't gotten to it, but apparently she has some sort of magical powers in that world. I tried another isekai yesterday, but couldn't stand more than 5 minutes of it. 

Started watching The Truth Seekers on Netflix. It's a Singaporean detective drama, mainly in Mandarin (there's a little English and Japanese). It's aka Cold Case Investigators. Bai Qingxiong, a veteran cop, creates a detective agency that specializes in solving cold cases. He was tired of not bringing closure to the families of the victims in such cases. At the moment, they meet at a Japanese restaurant that his wife owns. Looking at the opening, it seems like they might get an actual place for it eventually. Each case might affect them personally. In this first one, one of the detectives, Huang Yuyang, was in a relationship with the main suspect briefly. That main suspect was actually the one that hired them to solve the case. I guessed right on who the real killer was. Yay! It looks like the main suspect from that case (he wasn't the killer) will join them. A couple of the actors look familiar. I haven't watched too many Singaporean dramas, but I looked up one of the actors and he was in Against the Tide. It'd make sense that I'd remember him since he played a main character.

Youtube:

One Piece:


Dr. Stone:

Kimetsu no Yaiba:

3rd of Elul

This is my wallpaper for September. It's Tanjirou from Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon-Slaying Blade). I've been really amazed by this anime. Wasn't expecting much. The animation has been top-notch (just looking at the water scenes, it looks so real, which is difficult to pull off), music is haunting at times, the characters are well developed, epic fight scenes, and the plot is interesting. I wasn't expecting much because it's essentially a zombie anime. There's so much more to it, though. It takes place in the Taisho period, which is 1912-1926. So, more 'modern' than some of the other anime I've watched that are historically based. I like the idea that Tanjirou only joined the Demon Slayers to cure his sister, Nezuko, of being a demon. The demons in the story more closely resemble zombies in that they eat people and were once human themselves. They still have a sense of self, intelligence, and magical abilities. Scarier this way. Nezuko seems to be one of the first demons that hasn't eaten a single human. Instead, she gathers energy by sleeping. She was kind of tricked into thinking all humans are family and to protect them at all costs. She's incredibly strong, even for a demon. She's also cute. Tanjirou is kindhearted and a huge empath. He feels for most of the demons he defeats.  

The month-long holidays for September are: National Biscuit Month, National Breakfast Month, National Honey Month, National Potato Month, National Rice Month, National Cheese Month, National Piano Month, Pain Awareness Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Quite a lot this month. 

The month of Elul ends with Rosh Hashanah or our New Year. It's also the start of the High Holy Days, which ends with Yom Kippur or the Day of Atonement. The HHDs last for 10 days. RH and YK are the most important holidays on the Jewish calendar. Many people 'prepare' the month before. One of the customs I follow (as did my mom) is blowing the shofar (ram's horn) every morning throughout most of the month. We refrain from it on Shabbos (which is every Friday night until Saturday night). I sometimes forget to do it until a few days into the month, like this year. Hopefully, I'll remember tomorrow and the rest of the month...It can be fun. It's supposed to wake us up spiritually. 

The elements calendar features arsenic this time. The main pic's of pure arsenic metal granules. The one next to it is of a type of arsenic treated wood. Another pic's of an old tin of arsenic. The last pic's of Paris Green, which is useful in pigments and rat poison. Scary one for this month.

Recently 2 groups on fb shared the same post. One in an ace group, and the other in a non-binary one. It was an 'adding' game where you state your age and post a selfie, then friend whoever interacts with it. I almost didn't respond to either posts, thinking it was just a popularity contest. However, it was a good way to let others know it was ok to friend them. Some people might not want to for many reasons. Also, a great way to connect with other LGBTQ+ people on there. So, I did eventually post in both of them. I gained 25 friends through that over the weekend. I think that's the most I've had in such a short time. Also, overall, I'm up to the most friends I've had on my list at once there. They all seem like cool and interesting people. 

We did our big monthly grocery shopping yesterday. We normally go to Costco, but it was closed for Labor Day. So, we went to Trader Joe's. I think I only found one thing there: olive hummus. Haven't had hummus in a very long time. I like making hummus and cheese sandwiches. They're refreshing, tasty, and full of protein. The olive one is one of the best. They also had chocolate hummus. That sounds nasty. I did read an article about it, and the author was surprised by how great it was. I don't know...

We also went to a local bakery. I love their Norwegian brown bread, and I usually get it sliced. Turns out that the ones that were available were frozen. They can't cut it until it thaws enough. Last time that happened it took like 3 hours. I didn't want to go through that again. On the other hand, it is getting harder to cut things, so it makes it even more difficult than before for me. I also got a maple doughboy. It's one of the things they're known for. It's huge! It's like a gingerbread man, only in donut form. This one had maple frosting. The other version is glazed. 

There's a smoked goods shop right next to it. They have smoked salmon, smoked nuts, smoked cheeses, jams, spices, and other snack-like things. I got smoked cheddar (one of my faves) and blueberry jam. I don't think I had their blueberry jam before. Too many seeds can be a trigger for my gut. So, I thought a jam with either very few/none or really small seeds would be best. I still like to have it. I think the blueberry one follows that. 

Went to World Market after that. Found quite a lot of things this time. Got my fave pickled red cabbage and apple salad, an artichoke pasta sauce, dill pickle mustard, pumpkin spice pancake mix (I still have a little of their banana and caramel pancake mix, and it's easy and delicious), pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels, and a few other things. 

Went to a local market for dinner yesterday. I just grabbed what I could eat at the salad bar. I'm trying to be better about avoiding trigger foods, and eating more protein. I need more protein than most healthy people, since I tend to have issues with absorbing it. It's hard for me to even get over half of what's considered the normal range for healthy people. Since I have to stay away from most raw vegetables, I steered clear of most of the greens like lettuce and spinach. Making it not really look like a 'healthy' salad. Shredded carrots seem to be ok, as well as a few cherry tomatoes. They had turkey, hard-boiled eggs, olives, and various other types of salads like potato salad and orzo salad. Didn't turn out as much as I expected, but it was ok. 

At Safeway, I found another mug cake mix thing. This time it's a chocolate chip cookie with chocolate frosting from the same company that did the cinnamon roll one. Should be interesting. Since it's so many calories and sugar, I'm saving it for my treat days. They also had a 12-pack of their rainbow chip (like M&Ms) cookies that were cheap. I got the small packs of 2 in the past. They're really good. It will last me a while. I pretty much have my desserts set for the next couple of weeks at least. Yay!

Went out to Costco today. Realized later that we got a lot of protein-packed things. I'm going to try 2 more different types of jerky. One's teriyaki beef and the other is beef steak. They actually have decent amounts to a bag there. 

I decided a couple of days ago to count the lumps I have at the moment. I've thought for a while that it was just around 5 of them and no big deal, but never counted them until then. There are over 30 of them! Most are in my hands. There's one big one in my neck, another in between my right eye and nose, another on a toe, and another in the crook of my left elbow. Some are soft, but a lot of them are hardening. Some seem to be growing so much they might burst through the surface. The hard ones in my hands feel weird when I grip things. Whatever I'm holding feels bumpy or uneven, even if it's smooth and straight. Some of the bumps are getting so big, I can see them just from looking at the sides of my fingers. I wonder if they're calcium deposits? I hope not. At least most of the time they're not painful. I see my primary in the middle of this month. Maybe she'll order imaging on at least my hands. I'll see my rheumatologist at the end of that week. He'll probably be able to help a lot more.

Both arms are still hurting a lot. I tried Tylenol PM last night, because the pain was also keeping me from sleeping, and I felt I needed to try something for it. The problem is so many sleep aids can mess with my mental health stuff, and so many can affect my colitis, possibly setting off a flare. That eliminates many right there. The only painkiller my primary will let me have is Tylenol, and I've been told by GIs that NSAIDs can cause flares or make it worse. I looked it up online, and Tylenol PM seems to be the safest for people with IBD in general. It basically has Benadryl and extra strength Tylenol. Benadryl's usually safe for the mental health part, too. I think I got a little more sleep. It was mostly calming. So, even when I was awake in bed, I was more relaxed. That's nicer than without. I guess I'll see how it goes after a few nights. 

I pinned a sausage and hash browns slow-cooker recipe a while back on Pinterest onto one of my boards. I think I mentioned it on here after I made it. I was the first to share a pic of it. I did not create the pin. However, a ton of people have been repinning it from me. Around 200! It's like every hour or so I get a notification on it. Kind of annoying. I've never had that happen before. Sure, a handful of people repin my pins normally, but this is very different. It doesn't even look that great. It tasted amazing, though!

Despite not going back to my Dutch this weekend (including Monday) on Duolingo, I was promoted to the Sapphire League today. That shocked me. How could I still be in the top 10 by the end of that week? I finished the Kitchen unit, and am close to finishing the Materials one. 

Managed to draw a rough outline of Junko's legs. Took a little while to figure how I wanted to position them. Edited more of Alliance. I'm into chapter 4 now. Went through 6 pages of the ebook, and 8 pages of the print. That's more than I was doing each day last week. Maybe I'll get to a lot more this time. It's flowing a lot better now.