3rd Day of Sukkot

I can't believe it's already Sukkot. Sukkot (singular: sukkah) lit. means booths, and are temporary walled structures that we build and 'dwell' in during the holiday. It's a harvest festival that lasts for 8 days. It's supposed to be one of the most joyful holidays. People eat and sometimes sleep in their sukkah. We used to put up our own. It just ended up being too much of a hassle to put up. Really needed more than 2 people to put it together, and we stopped asking people to help us at some point. The wood, I think, ended up rotting and couldn't be used anymore. It was nice when we had it up, though. Like what's custom to do, we had guests or ushpizin over for dinner in it for the first few nights. They were usually our neighbors and were not Jewish. That was fun, and they seemed to enjoy it, too. Now, with covid, it probably wouldn't be wise to do that. We usually ate almost every meal in the sukkah. It was interesting eating outside like that. 

This is my wallpaper for October. It's Overhaul or Kai Chisaki from Boku no (My) Hero Academia. He was the main villain of the anime's 4th season. He was also the boss of a yakuza group, not related to the League of Villains. I think he was one of the best villains of the series so far. He wanted the world to go back to the way it was before Quirks or powers. He was cruel to the yakuza's boss' granddaughter, Eri. Using her blood in special bullets that takes away the victim's Quirk. It doesn't necessarily kill the person, but if they're a pro hero, they'll feel like their livelihood was snatched away. I think there were bullets that also enhanced Quirks, and he used them on his own underlings. The problem with that was sometimes it enhanced them too much, and the power was too great for them to handle. So, they'd go crazy. Thought this seemed somewhat Halloween-like. There's another season coming up, but it won't be until Spring of 2021. Kind of a while. It'd be great to see what happens next. 

The month-long holidays for October are: National Apple Month, National Caramel Month, National Cheese Month, National Chili Month, National Cookie Month, National Pasta Month, National Pretzel Month, National Seafood Month, American Pharmacists Month, Bat Appreciation Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Corn Month, LGBTQ+ History Month, German-American Heritage Month, National Cookbook Month, Pizza Month, Polish-American Heritage Month, Sausage Month, Spinach Lovers Month, Talk About Medicines Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. There are a lot this month. I don't think pharmacists get enough credit. Without them and the meds they make, I wouldn't be able to function. They should be celebrated for the hard work they do. I'm part German, and not that long ago found out I'm part Polish, too. It's good to recognize the history of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Like I mentioned, it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Metastatic or stage 4 breast cancer, which is what I have, doesn't get much in the way of awareness or funding for research. Most of the focus is on the early stages. The ones you can 'beat'. There's no cure for stage 4. The scary thing about that is people are more likely to have it come back as stage 4 after they're 'cured'. They have that forever looming over them. I added an awareness ribbon to my facebook frame for the month. The ribbon is green for spring and the triumph of life over death, pink for the cancer originating in the breast(s), and teal for healing and spirituality. People aren't expected to live very long after being diagnosed with stage 4. About 27% are alive 5 years after diagnosis. 11% after 10 years. I hope I can live much longer than that. (And, that the quality of my life is good.) The stats are old, things have advanced since then, it all depends on what type of breast cancer, etc. Many factors. I'm lucky mine's not triple negative. That one has the worst life expectancy. Mine's er+, pr+, and her2-. Another way of saying it is positive for both hormones and negative for her2. Mine tends to be mixed with how long people tend to live with it. I also don't know much about other people who have it as infiltrating ductal carcinoma or IDC. It's one of the most common types, though. There's a lot to it. 

It's been a while. I think it's the first time I actually didn't post during a month. I might try to get back to doing this on a regular basis. In order to help with getting back into things, I decided to make a schedule. Not with my Google calendar, but in my Notes on my iPhone. That way the times can be easily flexible, and I can put something else in the time 'slot' if I wanted to. It worked pretty well yesterday and, so far, today. It's kind of fun to check off things again on there, too. 

Had a shower today. A couple of weeks ago, there was an issue with it. I was supposed to get one on that Monday. Sometimes, if my home aide forgets or something, I have one on Tuesday. That would have been fine. However, no one showed up for either days. Wednesday afternoon, my palliative care nurse, Brian, called. I told him about the showers, and he seemed upset about it and called Home Health. He was able to get me an appointment for that Friday with someone I didn't really know. Luckily, my usual home aide, Savannah, came that day instead. (Normally the 2nd day is on a Thursday.) Apparently, she was sick most of that week, and assumed they would find someone to see me while she was out. She said that's the usual procedure. Nobody followed up on it, though. This is one of the only things that I've had issues with, which is that unpredictability. I wish it was more set. Even the times during our usual days change. She tries to keep it around 11am most of the time, but sometimes it's much earlier or later. I'm glad I at least get them most weeks. I kind of wish that I could have one more day than the 2 I get, but it's not bad. 

I'm taking 2 chemo meds now, Ibrance and Arimidex. I've been getting more side effects lately. I thought I wouldn't get this one, but I'm loosing my hair. It seemed to take a while. Maybe for me to notice it. It's coming out in clumps. I've decided to have most of it shaved off. It'll be a drastic change, but that way I can be more in control of it. The earliest appointment my hairstylist had was for the 28th. I wanted it sooner. Not sure what my hair will be like by then. I'll tell her about the cancer stuff, too. It might shock her, but hopefully she'll understand why I'd want it shaved. I don't want to be completely bald, just have a little there. I plan to wear knit hats instead of wigs or scarves like so many other cancer patients do. They'll keep my head warm this way. I ordered 7 of them on Amazon. I have 4 of them so far. They all fit pretty well, even with my long hair. I might wear them on a regular basis, if it gets to be too much with the hair loss. The other major side effect I've had has been fatigue. I just feel so wiped out most of the time. 

We had a plumber look at both toilets, since mine and the one downstairs were acting up. There's only one other toilet in the house. That being my parent's. It felt weird having to use it. I don't know what I would have done if I needed to use it in the middle of the night. I wouldn't want to wake her. Supposedly, they are both fixed. However, the plumber said the one downstairs is old and will need to be replaced with a new one soon. It's always had issues, so makes sense it needs to be replaced. He said he could install the new one for us. I'm glad I can use mine again, but I don't trust that downstairs one. This means I'm still going up the stairs to go to the bathroom. That's dangerous for me. They (the palliative care team) want me to stay downstairs most of the time. There's less of a risk of me falling and easily breaking bones that way. I still need to go up them for things like showers and getting dressed. My computer's up there, too. 

Managed to get an hour of reading in today. I'm trying to go through those 6 books I got from My Thrill List. I'm reading a different one every day, so I don't feel stuck on one. Today I read A Noise Downstairs by Linwood Barclay. Got through a good chunk of it. I think it's one of the better of the 6. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out. 

Haven't studied Welsh through Duolingo in a long time. Finally got back to it. Surprised I managed to remember as much as I have. It was enough to open another unit or checkpoint. Hopefully, I can keep it up this time. 

Got back into looking for quotes from Alliance. I haven't done anything related to writing/my books in a very long time. In fact, the last time I searched for quotes from it was back in February. I hope I can keep this up. I was almost done with looking through it. I just need to finish looking through what little is left, then move on to Alliance: Dawn. Hopefully, I can go through all the books I'll look for quotes in quickly, and then move on to other things. For instance, making an author card, drawing things relating to some of the books, making trailers, deciding on which recipes to show in the trailers, etc. Fun stuff. 

4th of Sivan

It's been a while. However, I have a feeling I'll be able to blog more often now. My arm is doing a lot better. Haven't really used my computer since the last time I posted here. I can type normally now. It feels a little weird, but nice. I was thinking of vlogging, and I may still do that. Put out my first vlog about 2 weeks ago. Looked a bit awful because I could only get into my pj's at the time, facial hair was really coming in, and couldn't fix my hair very well. I, at least, had a shower beforehand. It showed how the cancer and broken shoulder thing has affected me, too. 

Yesterday marked the 11th week since I fell in the shower. Tomorrow marks the 10th week since I had surgery to put pins and screws in my right shoulder. I'm surprised at what I'm able to do lately with it. They say the humerus bone, especially with almost a clean break at the head where it meets up with the shoulder, takes one of the longest times for a bone to heal. Since it's one the major bones. I'm not getting much pain from it lately, thank goodness. I've been able to get dressed in my regular clothes since last week, did most of my own laundry on Monday (a little difficult still), trying to eat more with my right hand, able to hold slightly heavier things with it, and more. My orthopedist told me to go slow with things, so I'm trying not to overdo it. It's hard at times, since I want to get back to how things were already. I'll see my orthopedist during the 2nd week of June.

I decided to go back to going to places like the markets lately. Haven't since I fell, and things have changed a lot. Understandably. Since I'm trying to go out to more things and walking more, I started using my cane recently. It does help quite a bit. I just need to practice it more often. I have almost a fear that someone will go up to me and say I'm faking it, but no one has. They just seem pushy, yet wait for me and give me some space. I feel like I have to have it as close to my side as possible, so I don't trip anyone. I end up tripping myself instead sometimes. I really shouldn't care much about this stuff, but it might take time to get over. I forgot to take my cane yesterday to both markets, and I'm feeling it today. For some reason, my right hip is painful when I don't use it. The cane is more for support than anything. My left shoulder pops and cracks a lot, which makes it weird when I use the cane, too. I have to use my left with it. I also have to remember to switch hands when I pick up something. I shouldn't be using my right a lot still. 

I might have my hysterectomy soon. Both the ovaries and uterus. The only reason they postponed it, was because they thought I wasn't healthy/strong enough. I haven't had those attacks in a while. I've also felt much stronger, in less pain, able to do more, etc. I think I'm in the best shape for it right now. The scheduler for their surgeries called yesterday. Told me to call her back even though it'll go straight to voicemail. I left a message. Haven't heard from her since. My oncologist agrees that now might be the best time. Although, we have to time it to me being off of the Ibrance for 2 weeks beforehand. So, that will either be in 3 weeks or a month later. That's not that long of a wait. I might be one of their few patients actually happy about having it done. I don't know what type they'll do, or how long I'll be in the hospital. Don't really care. As long as things go smoothly. Eventually, it'd be great to get top surgery. I'll be rid of the cancer in my breasts, too. I do want it a certain way, so it's probably good I'm not having that part done now. 

I'll see an ear, nose, and throat doc tomorrow. My neck has felt really weird. The left side, from my left ear down to my collarbone to the middle area of my neck, has felt like it's swelling. Sometimes it drains. It's affecting my dysphagia (problems swallowing) a bit, too. I'll wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I'm drowning and coughing. They don't think it's related to the cancer or a tumor, but they don't really know. The ENT doc may also be able to do something about the dysphagia I've been dealing with for over a year. Might be able to look into it more. Probably will order more imaging. I had to be tested again (just nasal, not the one that goes further up, thank goodness. That other one was hellish) for covid yesterday so I could still go to the appointment. Got the results today that it wasn't detected. I have to go all the way out to Tacoma (about an hour from home) for this appointment. I'll need to stop by the lab area to get a blood draw. They have to see how Ibrance is affecting all my blood cell counts. It is an immunosuppressant. At least, since I'll be out there, we might stop by It's Greek to Me afterwards. It's right next to the clinic. 

The dysphoria with my facial hair has been becoming more frequent and harder to ignore. Due to covid, I have no idea when I'll be able to start electrolysis. My 'women's' electric wand-like razor bit the dust. I tried trimming it with scissors, but it does basically nothing. So, I looked on Amazon. Found a 'men's' version that's roughly $30 cheaper than my current one was, has 3 modes, and is rechargeable. My current one was constantly eating batteries. Being rechargeable for the new one, is a huge plus. Hopefully, it'll help me. 

Just for fun, I also looked at monthly subscription boxes. I've felt more bored and drained since the health stuff in March started. It's hard to do much at the moment. So, why not find something to help remedy that and fun? I decided to start one that features a different country's snacks every month. I think I've seen things about it in the past and was curious. It'll be like visiting those places from the comfort of home. I love trying new foods, too. I also found one where they give you 2 hardcover books and 2 ebooks every month under these genres: mystery, horror, thriller, or surprise me. I chose surprise me. I love those genres, and they can pick from any of those for me. I've been meaning to get back into actually reading. I haven't in a while. This will give me a challenge to read every book each month, too. Something to keep me preoccupied. I did see a cat subscription box that looked interesting, but thought that might create too much clutter. It comes with a different theme of toys and treats for them. I suppose we could just toss the ones they destroy or don't care about. Something to keep in mind for the future. 

In order to keep me functioning day to day, I've had to start taking a lot of pills. I counted close to 30 a day. The fentanyl patches didn't work. I switched to morphine for my long-term painkiller instead. I'm still taking oxycodone regularly. It's supposed to be for my 'breakthrough' pain, but I'm nervous to ease up on it. I don't want to go back to being in so much pain. My med team is very understandable about that. I'm taking a stool softener a few times a day, and my bathroom stuff is still weird. At least, it happens. I'm also taking tylenol on top of the other painkillers. That's how bad the pain was. I have to be on 3 different ones. I'm on 2 different anti-nausea meds. They've worked really well together. Hardly ever feel nauseous anymore. I'm taking the Ibrance, tamoxifen, and had a lupron injection a couple of weeks ago. I think the tamoxifen has made my mouth numb. That and Ibrance might have affected how things taste, too. It's just a little off. Like, slightly washed out. Making me crave bolder flavors. Still taking lamotrigine. Keeps me mentally stable, so it's just as important. I'm on a steroid that pretty much stopped those attacks. I'm not sure I like that they increased the dosage. I think it's made me hungrier at times. Started going back to a gummy multivitamin. It's not as important, but I have noticed familiar signs of malabsorption issues, so I figured it wouldn't hurt. I have lost a little weight. Not much, but enough for my med team to take note and tell me I'm still stable, but we have to keep track of it. I wouldn't mind losing a little more. As long as I don't become underweight, that's perfectly fine with me. 

Rosie seems to know exactly when I'm supposed to take my meds, and waits every time near my chair until I'm done with them. I have to take them with food. She already has a thing with getting me to eat at certain times, but staying so close to me when I take my pills and then leaving only when I get up, is new. 

I feel an urge to explore new food or food I haven't had in a long time more lately. It might be the idea/living with metastatic cancer, the meds affecting how things taste, or just wanting to explore more food. Could be a combo. Trying to not overdo it, though. 

I want to start my own sort of cheese tasting plates in the future. I've seen some on pinterest. I wouldn't go over the top with it, especially considering it'd just be for me. I'll be using it more of as a concept. A fun healthy travel from home snack thing. I'll try 3 cheeses each time. I could pick new ones from my cheese guide book I got a couple of years ago. It'd be a handy way to use it. I can go by region or country, or just see what fancies me that time. I plan to choose 3 different forms like soft, semi-soft, and hard. I could use meat like many cheese plates do. Since it would just be me, maybe 1 or 2 types. I could use my rotisserie chicken deli meat, beef lil smokies, beef sticks, chicken sausages, etc. Lots to choose from. Most have nuts, but the only type of nuts I can really have are in the smooth butter forms. Doesn't seem right, so that won't be there. There's usually fresh and dried fruit. It'll be a couple from each. I could have things like fresh strawberries, melons, and grapes. Then, dried apricots, dried pineapple, and dried apples. There will be a couple of veggies like baby carrots, roasted red bell peppers, and shredded cabbage. A couple of salty/acidic things: olives, dolmas, pickles, pickled cabbage. One type of cracker and one type of bread. Finally, a spread of some sort like hummus, fruit spread, honey, etc. Some people add garnishes, but I don't really need that. I could try new things for the other stuff besides cheese every time, too. That would satisfy trying more stuff. A little bit of everything does sound like it'd be healthy. Especially with another way of getting more fruit and veggies. Seems balanced. I'll have multiple sit-down ones, considering it'll just be me and it can take a while to finish 3 cheeses. I might start this sort of thing when I'm finished with my current cheeses. I've got a provolone and garlic and herb Boursin cheese at the moment. First time I've tried Trader Joe's version of the provolone, and it's ok. Huge slices, and it smells like it should. I'm not too into smelly cheeses, though. Not sure how long I'll be able to stand it. Although, like I said, it is decent. Maybe having it in other things would be better. I'm thinking of my 'starter' cheese plate cheeses as ones I know and love. For instance, maybe mozzarella, Dubliner cheddar, and an aged parmesan. Although, I'm not used to hard non-shaved parmesan. So, that will still be a little different. 

I'm trying to get back into my writing stuff. I entered all 5 ebook versions of my books in the Authors Give Back promo on Smashwords. That was extended to the end of the month. It's a way for things to be more affordable and brighten someone's day during the pandemic. I set them to 60% off. There were 30%, 60%, and 100% off options. I don't think I'll have my old books set to free ever again. It's just been too often, and I feel I really need to actually make something from them. Discounts are totally understandable. People are looking more at them both on Smashwords and Amazon lately, which is great. I want them to be noticed even more. Thought about entering a book into Amazon's UK storyteller awards. Any book that's in English is eligible, however it had to have been put out in the last year. Mine are too old, sadly. Oh well. I started up my author instagram account again. Been reading the paperback version of Alliance for the 1st time. That's been an interesting way to see it. Still feel the print is a little too big, even with my eyes having issues lately. (I really need an eye exam and new contacts soon.) I plan to try to read through all my paperback versions. Although, that might be a little more difficult if I take on those monthly books I'll get in the mail. Hopefully, I can get back to finding and writing down quotes from my books. Haven't been able to focus that much lately.

I also am trying to get back to learning Polish through Duolingo. I've remembered a lot more than I thought I would. It still is hard to focus very long on it. It'd be great if I can get to the point of practicing my clarinet again. I might be able to do it for short periods of time now. I'd love to get back to drawing, too. I just should try to pace myself. If I do too much one day, it'll take a while to get back to things. I hate that. I even just want to get back to my walks. One day at a time. 

3rd of Adar

Yesterday, I enrolled all 4 of my books on Smashwords into their Read an Ebook Week site-wide promo. First time entering them into something like that. It goes from March 1st until the 7th. They encourage enrolling beforehand, so those books get a chance to be featured in a promo email to Smashwords customers, which goes out a few days before. A little more exposure that way. I decided to have them all at 50% off. You can choose 25% off, 50% off, 75% off, or free. I think 50% is plenty. That makes 3 of the books $2, and one of them $2.50. Pretty cheap. They have interesting banners and such that people can download to help promote it on other sites. I may add one on here. I don't know. There seems to be more benefits to this one than many of their regular promo 'tools', so it's good to have the opportunity. I think they have something like 3 or 4 site-wide promos a year. Not much. 

The cookbook's Select term on Amazon ended yesterday. I plan to submit it to Smashwords on the 1st. It probably won't be apart of RAEW, but that's ok. I think I'll also have a delay in publishing for this one, and add the option of preordering it up until it's officially published on there. I think it's good to do it this way for each one. People get a taste for it beforehand. Should be interesting to see how this one goes, considering it's quite a bit different than my other books.  

I watched some of the recent Democratic Debate, and have an issue with how a couple of questions were directed at Bernie Sanders. I'm not really voting for him this time, but that's a different topic. He was asked about his Judaism, which I guess is fine in itself. I do feel a little uneasy about people questioning how Jewish he is lately... However, the very next question after that was on how he feels about Israel. This is antisemitic. It brings up the 'dual loyalty' trope. Do not bring up someone's Judaism, and then immediately ask about their opinion on Israel. Sure, I get they were trying to see what his policy on Israel will be, but that was not the way to do it. What about asking other candidates about it, too? 

Jewish opinions, as a whole, on Israel are extremely diverse and...complicated. (Even without bringing up the conflict there.) For one, many Israelis don't view Diaspora Jews (those that don't live in Israel) in a good light. Some try very hard to convince us to make aliyah (basically immigration to Israel). Sometimes taking advantage of things like growing antisemitism in Europe and America. Another point, they think even worse of Reform or Progressive (what that branch is called in Europe) Jews, even within their own country. Many also feel the 'ideal' Jew is of European descent. Jews come from all over the world. They particularly have a hard time with Ethiopian Jews. That is getting better lately, but it's still an issue. Many Jews also take issue with the government, even within the country. It's problematic to say the least. However, there are a lot of good people living there, too. 

I'd personally like more focus on Diaspora Jewry than Israel. (Particularly on American Jews, since that's even more relevant to me.) It's not my country. I'm an American Jew. Proud to be American, like many other American Jews. I'm embarrassed, ashamed, and appalled by the current administration, but that's different. 

I did not feel like I 'came home', like so many say, when I visited Israel. Granted I had an awful time getting there, but it never truly felt like home to me. I did make some good facebook friends from that trip, and I certainly don't regret going. There were some good times. It was an amazing opportunity. Especially to see it for myself. Separate fact from fiction in some ways, too. It was nice that most things were kosher, and I didn't have to worry about it as much as back home. It was also cool to see so many shuls (aka synagogues) next to each other. 

We took Tasha to her checkup on Tuesday. She seemed pretty healthy for her age. That being around 15 or 16. Her teeth had a little tartar, and she had a mild case of gingivitis. They said the dental treats are helping with the gingivitis and overall dental health, but only a dentist can get rid of the tartar. They suggested she be seen by a dentist. That seemed like it'll be too expensive. Apparently, her heart murmur's a little worse. It's always been a slightly there thing. They suggested she see a cardiologist, and have imaging done to check out her heart. Again, pretty pricey. She lost a lot of weight for a cat her size. Went from 10 pounds to 8 pounds. Turkish Vans are normally on the heavy side. She seems to be a pound under the low end for normal range. She got her annual shots, blood tests, and a urinalysis. 

The vet clinic called my parent yesterday. Tasha has hyperthyroidism or an overactive thyroid. It makes sense with the weight loss, shedding more than normal, tremors (thought this was either from being cold, or fear of Rosie), excessive drinking, etc. She might not even have the arthritis, but muscle weakness/wasting from it. That would also make it difficult to jump up on things. Their heart can be affected, too. There is a med she can take, surgery, or radioactive iodine therapy. As well as a special low iodine cat food. So, it is treatable, at least. The med and food might not be too bad financially, either. I want to hug her more often now. She probably was trying to tell us that something was up for a while. Hope she feels better in the future. 

I've been trying to take it easier on myself this week, because of the nasty migraine and headaches I had last week. Didn't really have headaches this week. Maybe a slight one after drinking something too cold today, but really didn't have them the rest of the time. Yay! Hopefully, I can get back to other things next week. I don't want to trigger another migraine or awful headaches, so I'll still try to take it slow. Trying to go to bed earlier and spend a little less time looking at screens, and that might have helped. I might not play PS4 games for a while. Just to protect myself for now. New games can have unknown effects, many games are dark in color, and it's also somewhat dark in that room. So, ends up being weird lighting. I do want to get back to it at some point. Might want to try Red Dead Redemption 2. I do have 2 games I can play on my PC for now. 

National Cherry Pie Day!

This holiday was yesterday. I love cherries, so putting them in a pie makes them even better! Haven't had it in a while, though. Finding a good cherry pie locally can be difficult. They tend to have what I call sugar or 'gel' packets. Basically large globs of sugar. Not the best. Sometimes those are good, but really shouldn't be there. They mess up pecan pie often, too. Either too few nuts, too dry, too much filling, etc. I sadly can't have that anymore, even if it's one of my faves, too. 

This week hasn't been great health-wise. Monday, I had one of the biggest migraines I've had in a very long time. The 'aura' for mine are often auditory. Usually thudding sounds. When it happens, it also feels like blood is spurting from my head. There's a lot of pressure, too. That part usually lasts a while, and gets really annoying. Not really painful. As soon as it finally stops, the massive painful headache starts. At this point, I'm also sensitive to light, certain sounds, cold (more so than usual), and certain foods. Usually this phase doesn't last long. Maybe a few hours. This time was different. The headache finally died down on Wednesday. However, the after effect was stronger than usual, too. I get sick to my stomach, feel like I'm in a fog, still sensitive to a few things, and fatigue sets in like I had been through a marathon. This phase usually lasts for an even shorter time than the headache. I was still in it when we went to the local trans support group that night. Another headache, that felt similar to the migraine one (but there was no aura beforehand), started after having the banana cream pie for dessert at Shari's after group. The bananas in it were still frozen. Might have triggered it? It was bizarre. 

It felt like I was finally starting to recover around noon yesterday. A few hours later, I decided to try a new game on the PlayStation 4 called The Vanishing of Ethan Carter. A detective/horror game. Sounded fun. However, the clues had text that would light up near them. If you clicked 'inspect', what he thinks/observes comes out as text quickly and swirls around. Occasionally repeating over and over. Sometimes, it wants you to find a certain clue by clicking '???', and then those question marks swirl around wildly. They combine when you've found something. There's some jerking around of the camera, too. It eventually made me so nauseated, I came very close to throwing up several times after I stopped playing. Stomach was really upset for a while, and felt like the acid was burning through it. So, I laid down, trying to calm it down. Felt like I couldn't look at a screen (like the computer or iPhone), couldn't color in my 'adult' coloring book (it's a book based on designs of a tattoo artist, which is usually fun), or really much else; for fear that I'd throw up or start another headache. So, I just closed my eyes and sat there. Eventually, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. Felt better afterwards. Today's been pretty good so far, but I'm trying not to trigger anything. Trying to be kinder to myself, too. 

I'm thinking of looking into chest binders again. I don't think the one I have worked too well. I also stopped wearing it when my health issues got worse, and it was hurting more. Things don't seem as bad as they were when I was on Lialda (that's not to say things are fine. I still have awful health stuff), now. So, I thought it'd be an ok time to look into it again. Plus, they're bothering me more than usual lately. I'll go with a different brand this time. I have an Underworks one. I've heard gc2b and Shapeshifters are good, so I'll look at those, along with any other brands I find. I want something long, so it stays put and doesn't roll up or anything. Similar to my current one. I don't want the weird string feeling rubbing up and down my back, and the weird puckering it does around the neck area. Maybe something that gets me even flatter? I don't know. 

Sunday was the start of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. I've been posting something aro related for every morning post on my author account on Instagram. A couple of people have stopped following me during it, but I've decided not to care about that. This is a part of me, and if people don't like it or don't want to be informed, so be it. All the better, actually. I've gotten a lot of likes from fellow aros on a lot of those posts, which has been nice to see. Some have added a couple of those posts to their stories on there, tagging me as well. My evening posts are still following the pattern I'm trying to set. For normal weeks, I've 'assigned' certain topics for the days of the week. Some having 2 topics for the day. That makes it more interesting, I think. 

I also recently found out that there's an aro ace flag. It was created at the end of 2018, so it's rather new. 2 shades of blue for being aro ace and the aro ace spectrum, and our experiences. Blue was chosen because it is between the aromantic green (in that flag) and asexual purple (in that flag). White for wholeness, as well as aro aces who are aplantonic (don't experience platonic attraction), nonamorous, or not seeking a partnership of some sort. Yellow is for love and relationships that exist outside of conventional romantic and sexual relationships. Orange is for community. It's in between green and purple in the other direction on the color wheel. Much more colorful than the current aro and ace flags, which is nice. I think it looks snazzy. 

There's also an oriented aro ace flag. I saw this a while before this 'new' aro ace flag. An oriented aro ace is someone who experiences other attractions strongly. Many go by this for queerplatonic relationships. Before I heard about this, I read that people were just saying what their 'queerplatonic' attraction was. This seems to encompass more, though. There are many other types of attractions. I'm an oriented aro ace. Specifically, a pan aro ace. My strongest is platonic, although I might rephrase that as queerplatonic, since it feels like something even more (hard to describe). I have potential to be attracted to people of all genders this way. I would love to be in a queerplatonic relationship or qpr in the future. The problem is trying to figure out how to get a partner for one. It's not like dating, and that makes me cringe. I'm slightly romance-repulsed, although not as strongly as my sex-repulsion. Probably more romance-averse...I have read about some people that are trying to create a site that's based on finding queerplatonic partners, and for aro aces specifically. I don't think there truly is anything like that out yet. It's hard, especially because not many know about this sort of relationship, and it might seem...weird at first to others. It's also hard to know who actually wants to be in one. Then, there's if you're compatible, like with most relationships. I've heard that going to aro and ace group meetings has helped many people find partners for it. The closest one to me is in Seattle, and they recently changed the name from Seattle Aces to Seattle Aces & Aros. Through their facebook group, they seem to be sincerely trying to include aros, too. They're not just changing the name. It's not really local for me, though. They only have one meeting a month, but do have events throughout the rest of the month. Some of them sound fun.

Anyways, that flag is also pretty new. Created a few months before the aro ace one. Dark blue is for the shared aro ace experience, grey for the aro ace spectrum, white for orientations within the community (bi aro ace, gay aro ace, pan aro ace, etc.), and teal for non-romantic and non-sexual attractions. It's nice looking, too. Still more colorful than the current aro and ace flags. 

Got the author copies of my paperback books last week. So nice to actually see them in print! They're like my babies. They had some scuff marks, which I wasn't happy about. The matte finish on the 4 that had it felt weird, but that might just be because they're new. The glossy finish for Sweet Endless Terror was nice, and really fit well with it. The only other issue I see with them is the font size. I went with what was suggested, but it's bigger than I expected. Might be good for the cookbook, but the others...I'm not so sure. The font's not incredibly large, but maybe it's just a slight size too big than what I'm used to. I think the memoir is the only one that ended up slightly smaller in font compared to the others. Maybe it's the size of the books. If I change the print's font to something smaller, I'll have to change the formatting, change the cover size, etc. It's not a simple change. I'll just stick with it for now. Seeing them all stacked up really shows how much writing I've put out there, too. It's impressive to me to see it all like that, even if they're not really huge books. Alliance is the thickest, like I expected. Alliance: Dawn comes close. Also, understandable. 

Youtube:

One Piece:


Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun (Toilet-bound Hanako-kun):

Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer):



Boku no (My) Hero Academia:

Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom):

17th of Shevat

I started Duolingo's Polish course on Monday. I decided on Polish, because it may have been another language my ancestors spoke. I didn't really know some of my mom's side came from there until I did the 23andMe DNA test a year or so ago. I say might have spoken, because they were Ashkenazi. They may have only spoke Yiddish in those areas, and/or were closed off. Or, they might have assimilated and spoke Polish. I've heard some felt that Yiddish was beneath them (like they felt only the poor speak it, and they wanted to seem of higher class), and tried to blend in as much as possible. On the other hand, Yiddish was influenced by Polish. (Yiddish is really a mix of Hebrew, German, and eastern European languages.) It's complicated. It was at least spoken around them. I thought I'd choose one that related to my mom's side, since Scottish Gaelic related to my parent's side. Seems like a good way to do it. Next one might be Welsh...Anyways, I was nervous about it. So far, it's been really interesting and fun. I'm getting it more than I expected. I read, and have noticed, that a lot of languages have influenced Polish. There are some Russian elements, a lot of German, some Italian, and some French already that I can see. Makes it more fascinating. Despite not caring about getting into the next league, I've stayed in the top 10 for the week so far. They don't seem as competitive this time. It'll be interesting to make it to the next league, if I stay in the top 10 by Sunday. 

Went back to reading the manga, Shichifuku (7 Lucky Gods) Mafia. I couldn't find any updates on it for a few years. I really liked it. All of it's now available online. It's a shorter series than I thought it was, with only 12 chapters. I only had a few more chapters left when I put it on-hold. Basically, it's about a young yakuza boss, Leo, that has the 7 Gods of Fortune as his subordinates. Each is a lucky G-d of something, like music, warriors, fishing, agriculture, etc. Whenever they used their powers to protect the previous boss, Leo's mother (nicknamed Tiger Goddess), they sucked her life force out. Eventually, she died from it, and he had to take over. He wasn't even living in Japan when he was told to go back. He had to win them over. There's another yakuza family full of demons that's about to battle them. Should be interesting to see how it unfolds. 

My author Instagram account has been interesting so far. I've decided to post twice a day this week. Once in the morning, and once at night. Each day will have a theme. Today's is horror for the 1st post, and on chronic illness for the 2nd. Found something from Horror Society on Pinterest to share this morning, and I'll probably find something from my IBD board on Pinterest to post later. (Although, there are some interesting things on fb, as well.) My most liked pic's of a piece of artwork that has Proud to be Agender written on the side, with a drawing of someone holding a huge agender flag. I thought it was a powerful looking. I mentioned what the stripes on the flag represented. The only sad part is I don't know who created that art, so I mentioned that and where I found it. It has 15 likes so far. I was especially surprised by this, because no one liked the post on gender-neutral terms before that. Maybe it wasn't as eye-catching? People have been liking the posts on Judaism, too. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week starts on Sunday, so the 1st posts that week will relate to being aro. 2nd posts could be for the other regular 'themes'. Also, the paperback versions of my books should arrive tomorrow. I'll post about that on there, and other places, when I get them. 

In searching for quotes/settings for Alliance, I've made it to chapter 16. Pretty quick. Probably will be done in a couple of days with this. Then, I'll go through Alliance: Dawn. Eventually, I'll post the quotes every so often on the Instagram account, and make trailers with them, too. I might draw some of the settings or buildings, and put those in the trailers. I might do things a little differently for the other book trailers. 

National Hot Chocolate Day!

I love hot chocolate! It's a decadent treat when it's really cold and/or windy out. It's nice with mini marshmallows. Not long ago, I decided to add enough whipped cream on top of the marshmallows to fill it to the brim. It was amazing! The whipped cream and marshmallows cooled it down enough to drink it as soon as I wanted to. Not much of a wait. I tend to wait until things are at or close to room temperature. (Mainly because cold or hot food hurts my teeth.) Plus, it made it even more decadent. 

I decided for Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course to not force myself to the next league. It's really competitive. I might add some time before going to bed next week, but I don't think I'll earn enough xp to get to the next league, even with that. Sad. I'm still breezing through the course. Made it to level 4 of Phrases 3. Getting less things wrong. I tend to get it wrong when I forget a letter, or a word that I had in my head but didn't type out. That's pretty good. 

Still doing something related to promoting my books every day. Had a free book one for my memoir on Amazon. It finished at #2 in the LGBTQ+ memoirs/biography top 100 best sellers free kindle section. Not sure how many LGBTQ+ related ones are on there, and free at that, but it was great to see. It was ranked #35 in the general memoir/biography free kindle section. That seems even better, considering I think there are a lot more ones in general. 'Sold' more than I thought I would, too. Yay! I'm just nervous about haters reviewing it, or even finding me. Also, created a facebook page for it. 

My cookbook's ebook is having a countdown deal, at the moment, on Amazon. Soon, there will be a UK one. That one hasn't been as great. Sold one copy, at least. 

Updated my facebook author page, and a bunch of the book pages on there. I'm going to create an author Instagram page soon. I looked up ideas/tips for it, and there's so much I can do. I think I'll link up that one to the fb one, so I don't have to post twice. I do have more ideas for the fb one itself now, too. 

For Instagram, it'll follow themes/genres of my books (like food, horror, whimsy/fantasy, animals, LGBTQ+, etc.), my own pics to give people a view of my world, and stuff about my books specifically. Sounds like it'll be fun. I have a ton of things I can share from Pinterest to it. I'll of course credit anything that I didn't create. They suggested I post something on there at least once a day. That can be easy to do. I'll post book trailers, cover art, quotes, etc. on there, too. Just won't be as often as the other stuff. Some authors really show off their personality on there. Added stuff with fb could be sharing things from there related to my books. Like, memes. Maybe specific ones for each book, and could share posts from pages that those books 'like'. I'll post trailers to Youtube, as well. Pinterest might be good for sharing pics of things I've made from the cookbook. I might create a twitter author profile, too. I can share things from various other posts on there. Not sure about Tumblr. 

Another suggestion was to take pics of stacks of books. For some, that's what they've finished for the year or other amount of time. For others, it's of their own books. Many of them are simple with just showing the books stacked, but others add things related to the themes in them. Like, a skull, fake coins, and fake jewelry on top and/or around it for a pirate series I saw. That's fun. I want to do something like that. Maybe only have the stack...I never ordered the author versions of my books. I want to for other reasons, too. For instance, having the paperback of the cookbook will be better than using the photo album full of recipes it was based on. You can see it better, it's not as clunky, and more. For authors, the price is how much it is to print/make and tax. Cheaper than regular price. I've read some people buy hundreds of (author) copies of their books for things like book signings and giveaways. That seems like a lot of money, however I now have an idea of how other authors might do that. Wouldn't be able to do something like that unless they really picked up. 

I'm going through Alliance again. I'm searching for quotes to share, and setting/building descriptions. With the descriptions, I might draw them out. Maybe I'll use those for the background of its book trailers. It's either using those, or old nature pics I've taken, or free fantasy stock pics online. I'd really prefer something I've made, rather than other people's pics. I'm finding more quotes than I thought I would. I'll do the same 2 things with the sequel. For Sweet Endless Terror's trailers, I think I'll have a description of each story, drawings relating to them (like a heart, knife, ribbon, planets, etc.), and/or maybe a few quotes from each. I can share those parts separately on Instagram, too. I could explain certain terms in the memoir trailer. I'll have pics of what I made for the cookbook one, and the name of the dish. Maybe describe it. I saw something about a site that has free music you can use for vids. (They're legal, and the artists made those tracks to be free to use.) So, there's lots to do for all of them. If I start a vlog on Youtube, that could help, too. 

The mysterious symptoms I've been experiencing since February are getting better. Yay! So, the tapering off of Lialda seems to be helping. However...My colitis symptoms are worsening. More trips to the bathroom, awful abdominal pain, horrible nausea, and more. It's better than having the other stuff as it was before on top of that. It's still difficult to go through. Hopefully, it won't get too severe with the colitis symptoms. 

Youtube:

Boku no (My) Hero Academia:

One Piece:

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun (Toilet-bound Hanako-kun):

27th of Tevet

For Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course, I finished all levels of the Colours unit, and started the 2nd level of the Home one. This is the last unit before the 2nd checkpoint. There are only 2 more sections. Ended up at 9th place in the Obsidian League today. Hopefully, I can stay in the top ten by Sunday. 

Yesterday, I updated the description for Alliance's facebook page, made a post about it being on Smashwords again, completely revised, and being free on there. (Here's its facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/alliancebooks/) I changed the name of it today, and posted about Alliance: Dawn, too. It was a page just for Alliance (first book), but I'm turning it into one page for the whole series. Good to have everything in one place. 

I'm trying to do a little of promoting/getting the word out every day. I have a lot of ideas, which seems like it'll be overwhelming. If I do little chunks every day, it won't feel like that as much.  

Today, I also republished, updated, and posted to both Sweet Endless Terror and My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes' facebook pages. Here's Sweet Endless Terror, and here's My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes. I think I might create a new author page, considering I don't like my current one, and I want to start 'fresh' with that. I still need to make one for More Than Meets the Eye. I also read that another way to get pages noticed is by having your page 'like' another page. That actually sounds fun. I could base it on what the books are about. For example, the cookbook page can like food, cookbook, cooking, etc. related pages. Sweet Endless Terror could like horror stuff. Seems like they can take on their own personalities, which is an interesting concept. 

After I get through all that, I'll make an author account on Instagram, and another on Twitter. Not sure if I'll make separate ones for the books on there. Seems like a hassle. However, I can see making one for the cookbook on those. Maybe one on Pinterest for that, too. I plan to make and share some of the dishes from it. I think a good way to promote that is to let people know what some of it will look like. 

After doing those things on fb, I checked the pageviews on Smashwords. A couple of them really got a boost right away. Very interesting. The more people that see it, the more likely they might buy it. 

My memoir's free promo on Amazon started yesterday. 4 people 'bought' it. That's more than I thought I'd get the first day. None today so far. It's ranked as #12 in the Gay & Lesbian Biographies & Memoirs section. Odd that they don't have an LGBTQ+ one, and cram everyone into that. I'm not gay or lesbian...Pretty cool they ranked that high, though. It's #158 in the Kindle Store's (ebook) Memoirs. That's interesting. Might be interesting to see what happens after I make a page for it on fb.

I just realized, this morning, that many of the symptoms I've been experiencing since February may be side effects of the Lialda. No one has been monitoring me with that. I have a feeling it's changed, my body's rejected it, or something. The side effects I found online line up with a lot of my mystery symptoms. Myalgia (muscle pain), joint pain, hair loss, malaise, sneezing a lot, feeling weak, swelling in hands, severe back pain, and more. It makes too much sense, and I'm wondering why no one (doctors) suggested that some of this could be the Lialda, and looked into it. I've been taking a half dose since Tuesday. The back and muscle pain seem to be getting a little better. I'm wondering if I should just taper off, like I'm doing, and then stop taking it. Not get the next refill. I'd rather have the possibility of having a flare (not sure if I'm in one or not), than feel those other symptoms. Those symptoms combined have been hell. I still suspect a couple of my symptoms are actually related to another autoimmune disease. (I did test positive for that.) Having the other symptoms cleared up might help with pinpointing it in the future. 

Youtube: 

Fairy Tail:

Boku no (My) Hero Academia:



Dr. Stone:

One Piece:




Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer):

Tsuritama (lit. Fishing Ball. Kind of miss this anime. It was so trippy. Not sure if I like the ending song/part of this amv, but the rest of it's good):

Magi (this makes me want to watch more of the series. I think I only watched the 1st season a while ago, and one or two episodes of the 2nd season.):

25th of Tevet

Today, for Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course, I finished the last level (there are 5) of the Food 2 unit, and am up to the 3rd level of the Colours one. Made it to 5th place in the Obsidian League. With making it to 3rd place yesterday, it was the highest I've gotten in that one. Maybe I'll stay in the top ten by the end of the week. I think Diamond League is next, and it's the highest one. For the last couple of weeks I've ended up at around 16th place, so I've stayed in the same league for a while. People seem to be using it more in this one. Much more competitive. 

3 of my books (Alliance, Alliance: Dawn, and Sweet Endless Terror) are now both on Smashwords and Amazon. All 3 made it into Smashwords' Premium Catalog which distributes to online retailers like Apple, Kobo, Barnes & Noble (not their brick-and-mortar stores), some libraries, Scribd, etc. They only deal with ebooks. They can be bought on Smashwords itself, too. 

All 5 books (other 2: More Than Meets the Eye, My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes), with both their revised ebook and paperback versions, are on Amazon. I might be able to get those other 2 on Smashwords by the end of February. Their Select terms will have ended by then. When books are in the kdp (Kindle Direct Publishing) Select Program, they're exclusive to Amazon. They're pretty strict about it. It automatically renews to a new term, unless you uncheck a box. They will still be in it until that term ends. Kind of like a contract. The interesting thing about all this is Amazon distributes to a lot of different places for paperbacks (as long as the author/publisher agrees to it), but doesn't for ebooks. Smashwords distributes to a lot of places. More than Amazon does for paperbacks. So, with both, I'll have much more exposure this way. 

I've made Alliance free on Smashwords, and its ebook on Amazon is $2.99. I wanted to have it as free on there too, but $2.99 is the lowest they'll allow for this one. It's a rather big book. Paperback version is $12.99. Again, one of the lowest prices I could set. Alliance: Dawn is on preorder, and will be out through Smashwords on January 29th. However, if people see it on Smashwords, they can buy it in a presale. I set that up yesterday. Only people who get it on Smashwords will be able to buy it and get it immediately. They won't have to wait until it's officially out on there and wherever they distribute to. It's set at $4.99. I'm following what was suggested of having the 1st book in a series for free. I'll do that until either Dawn is published on there, or a little after. I think the sequel's at a reasonable price. 

Sweet Endless Terror's ebook is $3.99 at both places. However, yesterday I also set up a coupon for it on Smashwords. It's public, so it'll go into their Special Deals Catalog. Only people who see it on Smashwords will be able to use it. They encourage people to share the coupon link, too. (That's: https://www.smashwords.com/books/presale/1000407) I've set that for 50% off for a month, which if people use it, is $2. The paperback on Amazon is $11.99. 

Another good side to Smashwords is I get more of a percentage for royalties than with Amazon. If not in Select, I think they only give authors 35%, with it, it can be up to 75%. With Smashwords, the lowest amount is usually 78%, and depending on how expensive it is, it could increase. Seems backwards, but I'll definitely take it. There seems to be more freedom with their promos and such, too. 

Decided, since they're still in Select, on using Amazon's promos for my other 2 books. More Than Meets the Eye's (my memoir) ebook will have a free book promo from the 23rd until the 27th. (It's $4.99 at the moment, and paperback is $13.99.) My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes (cookbook) ebook will have 2 countdown deals. One in the US marketplace from the 27th until the 3rd. 2nd one in the UK marketplace from the 3rd until the 10th. The price (in the US one) right now is $5.99. ($14.99 for the paperback.) It starts off with a big discount (80%), then slowly reaches full price by the end of each 'deal'. With all these promos, it feels like something will be going on with them almost every day. I'm still going to need to do more. 

I also checked out my author profile on Goodreads. I don't really use that site often. Turns out there were 2 author profiles for me, but I could only access one. I think it might have been because of paperback and ebook versions of things. They get them confused. Anyways, my main one is R. C. MacDonald, but the other one was R C MacDonald. There wasn't much difference, and you're not allowed to have 2 entries. I didn't create that 2nd one. Someone else must have. They have some people that create author profiles if they think the author isn't on there themselves. It's to cover more in their listings, not really acting like they are the author. Still, weird. So, I sent them a message about it yesterday. They emailed me this morning, telling me that they merged the 2. So, it's all under my main one, R. C. MacDonald, now. Yay! 

I also tried to changed the gender on my profile. I didn't realize at the time I created the account that I was agender, so checked off female when I created it. That's incorrect. They only have 2 options, and I'm neither. I clicked the 'Select' option. That seemed to make the gender part disappear after saving it. However, if I want to edit something else, I have to constantly put it as 'Select' before saving. Otherwise, it goes right back to female. I noticed later on my phone that it still says female, but on my desktop it's off. I might message them about this, too. I'd rather it not be there than to be forced to choose things I'm not. They could just have 3 options: male, female, other. Other can make it easier to include everyone else, although it also feels like the 'others' don't matter as much as the 1st two. Still problematic, but better. I think on MyAnimeList they recently (1 or 2 years ago) gave users a 3rd option of non-binary, which is what I picked on there. That might be the best way. Some haters really did not like the change, but more and more people are setting their gender to that on there. I wish more popular sites would switch to something like that. 

Found out there's a lot of confusion with the health insurance coverage itself. It's a really big mess, especially for dependents. It's not just affecting me. They're giving me some time to help sort it out, but in the meantime, I'm not covered. It's like being in a state of limbo. They want me to fill out a form, talk to my primary doc, have her fill out forms, and they'll also go through my records. Once approved, they'll reimburse us for anything that would have been extra while I wasn't covered. I don't think they (ones who switched everyone to the new plan) ever got the approval letter for me to be a dependent back in 2013. They deemed me disabled, thus eligible/accepted, because of the bipolar 2 and other mental health stuff at the time. It's supposed to be good for 10 years, then they reevaluate. It seems Kaiser Permanente has been hiding it for some reason. They told me, as a dependent, that I couldn't see it. My parent couldn't see it either, despite them telling me she was one of the few people who could. It's absurd. Hopefully, with all this extra paperwork and my records, they can find it. I have a lot of other health issues now than I did in 2013, too. I have a better case for it. 

I still needed to order my meds. I first used the Kaiser Permanente mail-order pharmacy, like usual. I wasn't informed of it, but they cancelled my order, since I wasn't covered. One good side is they managed to get my primary doc to order a few more refills of lamotrigine. There weren't any before that. I consider it the most important med. Keeps my bipolar 2 in check, balanced, and makes me seem 'normal'. It's the only med that's worked for me. I'd really not want to mess too much with my mental state by not taking it anymore. My doc apparently has to see me once a year for it, and to test how it's affecting my liver and other organs. She can't order more until I do. However, she didn't ask me to make an appointment this time, and I don't think it's been a year. I only found out about the cancellation when I called them. 

So, I decided to try their in-person pharmacy. Lamotrigine is the same price as when I was covered. $9. Pretty dang cheap. Cheaper than what other meds were set at while covered,  that being $10. It's surprising, because I'm taking the highest legal dose. I got that. Thank goodness I have the next batch now.

On the other hand, lialda, which is for the colitis, is super expensive. With KP, without coverage, it's $250 a month for the dose I'm at. The pharmacist suggested that I look at GoodRx online to compare prices and get a coupon. I decided to do what she suggested. At many places, it easily is over $1,000. The cheapest I found, with a coupon, is $91. Better than $250, but still seems expensive. I'm not even sure if the lialda is working. I've never been tested to see and how it's affecting the rest of my system, which I'm supposed to every few months for pretty much all meds related to colitis. It's actually highly recommended by the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. I've been taking it for a year and a half. Don't know if it's making me worse. I'm going to experiment with having one pill a day instead of 2. (They're huge pills!) Started that yesterday. Hasn't been long, but so far, nothing different than the last few days. (I think I might be flaring anyways.) I could at some point get the next dose, too. If I keep up the one a day thing, I have about 11 more days until I run out with my current batch. 

A little nice side thing is one of the cats gave me a present this morning. I have a feeling it was Rosie. It was one of her fave toys, a big stuffed rat. It was left at where I normally sit in the family room. She knows things are going on with me health-wise. (Keep getting sick, feel like I'm flaring; that sort of thing.) She's extremely protective of me when I lay on my bed to watch something, play a game on my phone, etc. Really clinging to my legs with her claws dug in. Good thing there's a heavy electric blanket, and a couple of other layers that I'm under usually. Doesn't hurt that way, but she does get upset when I get up to do something, and tries really hard to make me stay. Certainly has a strong grip. She probably thought I needed that rat. 

This new anime season has some really interesting ones. There was positive and 'real' (more true to life of what many people experience) representation of an LGBTQ+ person in a recent episode of The Case Files of Jeweler Richard. Very well done. They treated her with respect and seriously. Other LGBTQ+ people were really impressed by that episode, too. One of the main themes has been to not discriminate based on religion, gender, sexual orientation (she was lesbian), what language they speak (Richard is fluent in many languages, so he sees clients that speak a variety of different ones), and more. All things Richard was trying to teach Seigi. Seigi is new to it all, and works for him at his office. Richard seems to be multiracial, although he appears white. The gems are animated really well. They look very close to reality and are beautiful. He essentially solves mysteries of the pieces of jewelry people ask him to appraise. He also gives real info on the gems, and the process in making some of the pieces. Might be boring to some, but I find it interesting. 

Darwin's Game has been really brutal so far. It's a survival game, so it makes sense. There's a game app that once you open it for the first time, it affects the real world. There's no way to quit the game. You're granted special powers at the beginning, but some players don't know what they are, like the main character, Sudou. We still don't truly know what his power is. There are hints that it has to do with replicating something he touches. Like, a gun or taser. It doesn't seem like that's all of it, though. If you die in the game, you die in the real world. You leave behind an imprint of your body. People not playing the game think that it's some sort of street art. Non-players, like bystanders or police, can get killed, too. There have been a lot of intense deaths. Sudou doesn't want to kill anyone. The only way to not kill anyone is for the opponent to give up. They lose points, and that's added to the other player's points. You can form teams. People in your team won't be forced to fight you. Also, you get the added bonus of more people to fight on your side. Some people have survived by being paid for giving info on other players. Info is valuable, and hard to get. There's some dark humor in it, too. I like that sort of thing. The only thing I didn't like was the very end of the 1st episode and beginning of the 2nd. It was obviously for fan service, but might have also conveyed how eccentric the other main character, Karino is. She's the strongest player in the game. Also, was the 1st player to give up against Sudou. She's never lost a fight until then. I kind of like her, except for what she did in that weird scene. I know she was messing with him, but we really didn't need that.

Kyokou Suiri aka In/Spectre has been interesting, too. The main character, Kotoko, was kidnapped when she was 11 by youkai (supernatural beings). They demanded that she become their G-d of Wisdom, in exchange for an eye and a leg. She agreed to it. She basically became a mediator between the supernatural and human worlds. At 17, she constantly has youkai asking for her advice. A college student, Kurou, was dumped by his girlfriend because he wouldn't run away after seeing a kappa. Kotoko teams up with him, falling for him after bumping into each other at the hospital so often. He has a sick cousin, and she has to get check-ups often because of her condition. There's more to him than it seems at first. As a kid, he ate 2 youkai. One being a mermaid, but we don't know the other one yet. The mermaid gave him the ability to heal quickly. He seems to not feel pain, either. Even had his arm ripped off and acted like it was nothing. If he just had eaten the mermaid he would live forever, and look like the age he did when he ate it. That other thing he ate makes him age like normal. Not sure if he still can live forever. He's been reluctant to help her, but seems to be coming around. 

Uchi Tama?! has been freaking adorable and calming. Looking it up, it's based on a character franchise that started in 1983. Looks similar to Sanrio's characters like Hello Kitty. This is a new take on those characters that also had their own OVA (original video animation) series in 1988, game not long after, anime in 1993, movie, a few more games, and another anime. This one has human-like versions of the animals, that occasionally shifts to their actual forms. Tama's the main character. He's a cat that often goes missing with his friend Pochi, who's a dog. He's friends with all the cats and dogs in the neighborhood. The characters are all pretty unique and interesting. I like the concept of anthropomorphized pets, and seeing their point-of-view like that. They really did capture the same tendencies/behaviors of cats and dogs in the real world well. I think they only show their animal forms when they interact with humans. There was one segment that was super trippy. One of the cats found a portal to another world, ran in and out of it a few times, with ancient cat and dog warriors fighting it out in gladiator attire following him. All this while the dogs were talking about how peaceful it was and about nipples. Being shocked that humans only have 2, and asking about other animals. They seemed totally unfazed by what was happening behind them. Somehow, it kind of goes with how pets are...Like, cats mysteriously disappearing for a while (sometimes reappearing in weird places), dogs being focused on certain things, etc. 

I'm really liking Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun or Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun. The classic urban legend in Japan is about a ghost that haunts a toilet in a girls' bathroom at a school. There are apparently a lot of different versions of the story. Usually that ghost grants wishes for a price and if you call them a certain way, and is a girl. In some stories, if you mess up on calling her, she eats you or something. In this one, the ghost is a boy. The toilet is in the 3rd floor's girl's bathroom at an old school building. You have to knock 3 times on the 3rd bathroom stall, and say the ghost's name 3 times. He seems innocent and harmless at first, but he certainly has a dark side. He's much more powerful than he appears. His main weapon seems to be a butcher knife. There's a lot of dark humor. The art's quirky, which is fun. Nene tries to meet Hanako to ask for him to make a boy fall in love with her. He has no idea how to do that. It backfires with everything he suggests. Hanako carries a bag of mermaid scales. (Not sure why.) She eats one out of frustration before he could tell her what would happen, and turns into a fish. It also means she becomes a servant to mermaids, in their world. Wanting to turn back and terrified of the mermaid (which looks like an ugly giant fish), she begs him to turn her back. He eats a scale, so that he 'shares' the curse. She turns back to human form, but every time water splashes on her skin, she grows scales. She becomes friends with him, and it seems like she's going to end up helping him with the 'wishes'. A new character showed up, and he might turn into another friend that helps him. Although, he comes from a long line of exorcists, and vows to exorcise him. He's no match for Hanako. 

Somali and the Forest Spirit's about a little human girl, Somali, and a golem. They go on a journey to find her parents after the golem finds her all alone in the forest he watches over. He turns into a father figure. In their world, humans are rare and are treated poorly. It's full of demons and other supernatural creatures. She has to pretend she's part minotaur. The golem made fake horns that are attached to a hoodie. As long as it stays in place on Somali while they're out in public, no one suspects anything. The art is beautiful. 

I've also started watching the 2nd season of Ultraviolet recently. It's a Polish detective series on Netflix. Ultraviolet is a group of online amateur detectives. The police tend to hate them because they 'meddle' in their cases, and they solve them faster. I'm a little upset they killed off a major main character so early this season. Now it seems they have a new character trying to take on the same roles he did. I think I like him, but in a different way. It just has a very different feel this season, which can be good. I like the series a lot.

13th of Tevet

I've leveled out all the units up to the 1st checkpoint of Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course. Leveled out meaning all of those have 5 crowns, or have gone through all 5 levels of each unit. Started the 2nd level of Phrases 2. There are less units in this section. So, it feels like it's going by quickly. I'm currently at 16th place in the Obsidian League. I doubt I'll make it to the top 10 by the end of the week, but we'll see. 

I finally finished editing all 5 of my published books yesterday. Wahoo! Still haven't gone back to writing that unfinished sequel to Alliance. (It'll be the 3rd in the series.) Might get to it soon, I don't know. 

The cookbook, which was the last one I edited, had the least amount of errors. I really just added a couple of words and changed a couple of letters. Nothing big. Kind of made me hungry going through them. Gave me, or maybe reminded me of, another idea to promote it. That being, making a lot of the dishes I haven't yet. I can't really do the complex stuff, but there's a lot of simple and easy things. I can share pics of them to places like its fb page, Instagram, twitter, etc. It'll give a way for people to actually see what it'll look like. There are no pics in it, except for a Passover popover on the cover, but that's different. It's actually harder to publish/format with pics in the manuscript. More expensive for customers, too. 

The most errors were probably in Alliance. That was my 1st book, so I get that. It was a bit annoying, though. Alliance: Dawn was much better, but still had quite a lot of mistakes. Surprisingly, my 2nd book, Sweet Endless Terror, really wasn't bad. Not many mistakes. I had to add and update quite a few things to my memoir. Things changed, but I didn't add too many current stuff, just changed my thoughts on some of it. Maybe in the future I'll write another one, but that'll be a while. 

I started checking the formatting today. Wasn't sure if the newer version of Word changed them or something, so I want to make sure. Finished checking both the ebook and print versions of Alliance. I wasn't expecting to finish it today. I have a feeling they'll all go pretty quickly. There really were no errors in formatting. I realized and changed a few things with the front and back 'matter' of the ebook, and a little of the About the Author section of the print. I don't really want to give away my personal fb page, and yet I had it listed. I had both Kindle and Smashwords editions listed at the top, which would not only be too much to look at for the beginning, but both places don't like to have other 'distributors' listed. (Both call themselves distributors, and the authors are the publishers. Gets a little weird considering I have to get approval from them.) Plus those will be specific editions. It just would have made more sense this way. I might have had it different when they were in the Kindle Select program. That's exclusive, and they're strict about it. I might update the extra stuff in the future when I make new accounts on various social media platforms for it. People can actually interact more this way. 

I'm apparently still sick. It's a lot better than it was, at least. Nose is still runny, woke up with a sore throat that never really went away, abdominal pain, etc. Tried a half dose of the severe DayQuil stuff this morning. First time since Sunday having it. Hasn't helped much this time. Maybe it's just the tail-end of it? Hopefully. Getting a little worried about it. 

I'm going to try ordering my meds tomorrow. I don't know what's going on with my insurance. There wasn't a denial letter, but I haven't gotten anything about it. I noticed about a week ago that they still have my insurance card on Kaiser-Permanente's site. (Haven't looked back since.) Maybe it still hasn't completely transferred. I know they're covering vision and dental for me already, which I haven't really had either of in a very long time. Another side of this is before I ordered lamotrigine in October, my refills went from like 90 to saying as needed until mid-December. After that, no more refills. My primary doc never asked me to make an appointment to renew those refills for it. She does that once a year. Apparently, she can't approve more than a year's worth (over 90 refills each time doesn't make sense...I order 1 a month), and they have to test my blood to see if it's affecting my liver and other things. Not hearing from her makes it even weirder. I'm hoping if I order them, they can talk to my doc about it before approving more refills. If they can only do like 1 or 2 and want me to see my doc to get more, I will. That med is a lifesaver. So, it's not just the uncertainty of my insurance, but of being able to get an important med, too. 

Youtube: 

Boku no (My) Hero Academia:

5th of Kislev

This is my wallpaper for December. It's Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler. Seemed good for this month since there's snow, and kind of fits my mood during it. I like Hanukkah a lot, but the Christmas stuff out there, no matter where you go 24/7, gets to be much. It's in your face and on blast. If you don't celebrate that holiday, it gets aggravating after a while. I'm happy when retail people or waiters say things like happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. It's more inclusive and doesn't throw a holiday that you don't celebrate on you. There's a holiday for pretty much everyone this time of year. Including New Year's Eve. I have no problem with friends celebrating it. In fact, I hope it's a great one, and that they knock themselves out with decorating and such. It's the public things that get me the most. (At malls, cafes, other stores, public schools, 'Santa' riding a fire engine through the neighborhood, whole downtown area decorated with Christmas stuff, etc.) Also, Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas. We don't have a holiday like that. Hanukkah is a minor holiday, also referred to as the Festival of Lights. It just so happens to fall around Christmas this year. 

The month-long holidays for December are: National Pear Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Not much this time. I love pears, though. 

My Jewish calendar features 2 menorahs this time. I should say technically hanukiyah, which is the specific menorah used for the holiday. Menorah just means lamp. The one for Hanukkah has 8 branches and one holder for the shamash (helper or leader) candle. Usually the one for the shamash is raised up more than the others and/or is in the middle. A regular one has 6 branches and one holder. So, there is a difference. Each night for Hanukkah we light the shammash and another candle with it. They're really beautiful by the last night. Since my mom used to work for a Judaica shop, she collected a lot of them. Some were free, and some she bought discounted from the shop. Free if they had some minor flaw, like some branches were slightly bent. She and I would sometimes light a bunch of them on top of the piano. It was glorious seeing them all lit up, although it was pretty dangerous, too. When I do it myself now, I usually use one. Sometimes 2 on the last night. I have so many different ones that I inherited from her. I've been using a more traditional one the last few years, but it only uses Shabbos candles, not the slimmer Hanukkah ones. A couple of the branches are bent, too. It's quirky, yet impressive. People can see it more from the outside than the others. We're supposed to have it be seen, so it works. Anyways, one of the ones on the calendar is made out of copper from 1900. The other's iron from 1935. They don't say where they're from, unlike many of the other artifacts in previous months. However, the museum is in Amsterdam. They might have come from there. Interesting to see such old ones. 

The elements calendar features tin this time. They talk about how tin soldiers were almost never made of pure tin. Tin-lead alloys were usually used. Many things called tin don't actually have tin in them, and it's come to mean any sort of thin sheet metal. They show a tin soldier that is 99.99% pure tin. There's a gray tin allotrope growing on a piece of metallic tin. A piece of the mineral cassiterite (tin oxide) from Bolivia. Lead-free solder, which is mostly tin. And, finally ingots of pure tin. Interesting. 

Went to a family friends' place for Thanksgiving. We usually go there. This time it was my parent and I, the 2 hosts, and a work friend of the hostess. I was told there would be 6 of us, so that surprised me. They usually have a sizable crowd for their holiday dinners/parties. (They also host parties for New Year's Eve, sometimes Hanukkah, and a seder during Passover.) For the last couple of years, it's been noticeably smaller. Anyways, I've met their friend before at previous dinners. She's pretty nice and open-minded. They only have one dog left. The other passed away not that long ago. I miss that one, too. They were both big and really friendly. I couldn't eat the green salad we brought, since I'm trying to stay away from pain as much as possible. (Roughage like things scratch up against the scars in my colon. Fun fun.) We also brought a berry/grape salad. Didn't add anything to it, since I'm not familiar with fruit salads. My parent wanted to add whipped cream, which is apparently a thing. I just think fruit is usually good by itself. Like nature's candy. I technically wasn't supposed to eat the berries because of the seeds. I did anyways...The host smoked the turkey, like usual. There was gravy, homemade stuffing (a bowl of it without chestnuts for me), salmon for the person who doesn't eat turkey, cranberry relish (I don't like it, so they usually have the canned jelled stuff for me), cookies, and pumpkin pie. They forgot about a cooked green vegetable, which I probably could have eaten in place of the salad. We played a game of Trivial Pursuit, which is like a tradition there. It used to be very binary with the men against the women. Acknowledging me, and realizing it wasn't the best thing to do anyways, they stopped splitting us up like that. This time it was the 'away team' vs the 'home team'. 3 against 2 isn't bad. If it was with genders in general, I would be by myself and probably wouldn't have gotten very far. (The host would have been too, but he's relatively good at it.) We were in the lead for a while, but the 'home team' won. Sadness. The only thing that I didn't care for was when the hostess was talking shop with her friend for long periods of time. (They both work for OC or Olympic College.) They wanted to share and explain what they went through and such, too. At first it was interesting, then I started to get sleepy. After a while, I kept catching myself before falling asleep. If that was the only down part, that's pretty good. 

Sunday was the start of Crohn's & Colitis Awareness Week. The only things I've done for it are added a frame to my fb profile pic, filled out an infographic on my experience, and shared both to Instagram as well. I've talked about my experience often on here. One thing that's surprised me is that you can still suffer symptoms while in remission. It really depends on how much damage it caused before going into remission. People tend to think in order to be in remission, you must not have related symptoms. Also, there's a high possibility of getting another autoimmune disease eventually with it. I apparently have another one, but they (doctors) don't know what it is yet. So, that's a fun thing, too. There isn't a cure for colitis. This can be hard for many patients to come to terms with. They'll have to deal with it for the rest of their lives. While in remission, it doesn't actually stop. The disease has just gone down to an unnoticeable crawl. 

Finished watching The Truth Seekers. It's a Singaporean private detective drama. They solve cold cases. I liked it a lot. I didn't care for the added tension towards the end. Plus, the love triangle thing...The characters were likable and felt like family. They left it wide open for another season. I'd so watch it if there is one in the future. 

Started watching the 2nd season of High Seas recently. It's a Spanish mystery series set in the 40s on a luxury cruise ship. The cinematography's great, they have elegant costumes that would have been popular at the time, and a lot of aspects are accurate to the way things would have been. The acting is occasionally over-the-top. Very interesting story and kind of cool that most of it is from the perspective of 2 sisters. This season seems a little weird. Ghosts might be involved this time, although it might all be an act by someone they rescued recently. That someone is apparently lesbian or bi. Not sure if that's good representation, considering she could be stealing and a fraud posing as a medium. She kissed one of the sisters that believes her. As far as they've shown, the sister is straight, and recently got married to the owner of the ship. She could be bi...She seemed to like it. They were hinting that she'd do something like that with how touchy-feely she was with her. This season isn't long, and I'm already halfway through it. It'd be interesting to see how it goes. The 1st season was mainly about mysterious murders and the sisters' long-thought dead father. I wasn't sure there would be another season with how the last one ended, so it's been a pleasant surprise.

I finished Duolingo's Dutch course. I was thinking about going back to modern Hebrew next, but their course for it is awful. I can't seem to find any good apps for it, either. I thought about Yiddish, but that's hardly available anywhere. Although, I did read that Duolingo is creating a course for it and might be out in a few months. Started Duolingo's Scottish Gaelic course today. It's really new. Newer than I thought. Came out a week ago. There hasn't been any speaking lessons yet, but I'm at the very basic stuff. Some of the other languages didn't have those until a few more units in. They have a lot of different native speakers, which is good to get more of a feel to how it sounds. I knew the language was a little odd, but really looking at it brings that to light more. It's another language that my ancestors spoke, so I thought it would be good to learn that way. Not many people speak it anymore. There is an effort to change that, though. The course looks short, but maybe they're only showing me some of it, then once I get to the last checkpoint shown there will be more. If not, I still feel lucky to get a taste of it. 

Finished editing Alliance: Dawn. Started editing Sweet Endless Terror. It's 12 short stories based on my nightmares. Went through the 1st story: The Head. It's the shortest one. 5 pages of the ebook and 8 pages of the print. I also didn't remember how short the ebook was. It's only 94 pages. The print is 255 pages. I formatted the print to be for a small book, so it makes sense. The difference is weird, though. Especially seeing them side by side. 

Finished fixing the drawing of Junko's lines. In Photoshop, I added color to her skin, eye (she's winking, so only one is open), hair, shoes, and ears. They're not exactly the colors I had in mind, but they're not bad looking. I don't know much about color codes in Photoshop, but I'm looking them up as I go. I'll color in her skirt, socks, and shirt next. Then, I'll mess with shading. I have to remember to go a little darker with that than I did with Shadow.