This holiday was yesterday. I love cherries, so putting them in a pie makes them even better! Haven't had it in a while, though. Finding a good cherry pie locally can be difficult. They tend to have what I call sugar or 'gel' packets. Basically large globs of sugar. Not the best. Sometimes those are good, but really shouldn't be there. They mess up pecan pie often, too. Either too few nuts, too dry, too much filling, etc. I sadly can't have that anymore, even if it's one of my faves, too.
This week hasn't been great health-wise. Monday, I had one of the biggest migraines I've had in a very long time. The 'aura' for mine are often auditory. Usually thudding sounds. When it happens, it also feels like blood is spurting from my head. There's a lot of pressure, too. That part usually lasts a while, and gets really annoying. Not really painful. As soon as it finally stops, the massive painful headache starts. At this point, I'm also sensitive to light, certain sounds, cold (more so than usual), and certain foods. Usually this phase doesn't last long. Maybe a few hours. This time was different. The headache finally died down on Wednesday. However, the after effect was stronger than usual, too. I get sick to my stomach, feel like I'm in a fog, still sensitive to a few things, and fatigue sets in like I had been through a marathon. This phase usually lasts for an even shorter time than the headache. I was still in it when we went to the local trans support group that night. Another headache, that felt similar to the migraine one (but there was no aura beforehand), started after having the banana cream pie for dessert at Shari's after group. The bananas in it were still frozen. Might have triggered it? It was bizarre.
It felt like I was finally starting to recover around noon yesterday. A few hours later, I decided to try a new game on the PlayStation 4 called The Vanishing of Ethan Carter. A detective/horror game. Sounded fun. However, the clues had text that would light up near them. If you clicked 'inspect', what he thinks/observes comes out as text quickly and swirls around. Occasionally repeating over and over. Sometimes, it wants you to find a certain clue by clicking '???', and then those question marks swirl around wildly. They combine when you've found something. There's some jerking around of the camera, too. It eventually made me so nauseated, I came very close to throwing up several times after I stopped playing. Stomach was really upset for a while, and felt like the acid was burning through it. So, I laid down, trying to calm it down. Felt like I couldn't look at a screen (like the computer or iPhone), couldn't color in my 'adult' coloring book (it's a book based on designs of a tattoo artist, which is usually fun), or really much else; for fear that I'd throw up or start another headache. So, I just closed my eyes and sat there. Eventually, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. Felt better afterwards. Today's been pretty good so far, but I'm trying not to trigger anything. Trying to be kinder to myself, too.
I'm thinking of looking into chest binders again. I don't think the one I have worked too well. I also stopped wearing it when my health issues got worse, and it was hurting more. Things don't seem as bad as they were when I was on Lialda (that's not to say things are fine. I still have awful health stuff), now. So, I thought it'd be an ok time to look into it again. Plus, they're bothering me more than usual lately. I'll go with a different brand this time. I have an Underworks one. I've heard gc2b and Shapeshifters are good, so I'll look at those, along with any other brands I find. I want something long, so it stays put and doesn't roll up or anything. Similar to my current one. I don't want the weird string feeling rubbing up and down my back, and the weird puckering it does around the neck area. Maybe something that gets me even flatter? I don't know.
Sunday was the start of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. I've been posting something aro related for every morning post on my author account on Instagram. A couple of people have stopped following me during it, but I've decided not to care about that. This is a part of me, and if people don't like it or don't want to be informed, so be it. All the better, actually. I've gotten a lot of likes from fellow aros on a lot of those posts, which has been nice to see. Some have added a couple of those posts to their stories on there, tagging me as well. My evening posts are still following the pattern I'm trying to set. For normal weeks, I've 'assigned' certain topics for the days of the week. Some having 2 topics for the day. That makes it more interesting, I think.
I also recently found out that there's an aro ace flag. It was created at the end of 2018, so it's rather new. 2 shades of blue for being aro ace and the aro ace spectrum, and our experiences. Blue was chosen because it is between the aromantic green (in that flag) and asexual purple (in that flag). White for wholeness, as well as aro aces who are aplantonic (don't experience platonic attraction), nonamorous, or not seeking a partnership of some sort. Yellow is for love and relationships that exist outside of conventional romantic and sexual relationships. Orange is for community. It's in between green and purple in the other direction on the color wheel. Much more colorful than the current aro and ace flags, which is nice. I think it looks snazzy.
There's also an oriented aro ace flag. I saw this a while before this 'new' aro ace flag. An oriented aro ace is someone who experiences other attractions strongly. Many go by this for queerplatonic relationships. Before I heard about this, I read that people were just saying what their 'queerplatonic' attraction was. This seems to encompass more, though. There are many other types of attractions. I'm an oriented aro ace. Specifically, a pan aro ace. My strongest is platonic, although I might rephrase that as queerplatonic, since it feels like something even more (hard to describe). I have potential to be attracted to people of all genders this way. I would love to be in a queerplatonic relationship or qpr in the future. The problem is trying to figure out how to get a partner for one. It's not like dating, and that makes me cringe. I'm slightly romance-repulsed, although not as strongly as my sex-repulsion. Probably more romance-averse...I have read about some people that are trying to create a site that's based on finding queerplatonic partners, and for aro aces specifically. I don't think there truly is anything like that out yet. It's hard, especially because not many know about this sort of relationship, and it might seem...weird at first to others. It's also hard to know who actually wants to be in one. Then, there's if you're compatible, like with most relationships. I've heard that going to aro and ace group meetings has helped many people find partners for it. The closest one to me is in Seattle, and they recently changed the name from Seattle Aces to Seattle Aces & Aros. Through their facebook group, they seem to be sincerely trying to include aros, too. They're not just changing the name. It's not really local for me, though. They only have one meeting a month, but do have events throughout the rest of the month. Some of them sound fun.
Anyways, that flag is also pretty new. Created a few months before the aro ace one. Dark blue is for the shared aro ace experience, grey for the aro ace spectrum, white for orientations within the community (bi aro ace, gay aro ace, pan aro ace, etc.), and teal for non-romantic and non-sexual attractions. It's nice looking, too. Still more colorful than the current aro and ace flags.
Got the author copies of my paperback books last week. So nice to actually see them in print! They're like my babies. They had some scuff marks, which I wasn't happy about. The matte finish on the 4 that had it felt weird, but that might just be because they're new. The glossy finish for Sweet Endless Terror was nice, and really fit well with it. The only other issue I see with them is the font size. I went with what was suggested, but it's bigger than I expected. Might be good for the cookbook, but the others...I'm not so sure. The font's not incredibly large, but maybe it's just a slight size too big than what I'm used to. I think the memoir is the only one that ended up slightly smaller in font compared to the others. Maybe it's the size of the books. If I change the print's font to something smaller, I'll have to change the formatting, change the cover size, etc. It's not a simple change. I'll just stick with it for now. Seeing them all stacked up really shows how much writing I've put out there, too. It's impressive to me to see it all like that, even if they're not really huge books. Alliance is the thickest, like I expected. Alliance: Dawn comes close. Also, understandable.
Youtube:
One Piece:
Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun (Toilet-bound Hanako-kun):
Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer):
Boku no (My) Hero Academia:
Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom):
Showing posts with label chest binder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chest binder. Show all posts
Friday, February 21, 2020
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
12th of Kislev
Today's Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR). Went to a TDoR vigil on Sunday. I haven't gone for a few years, and I think the last time was my first. That one was at a park in the rain and cold. This year it was in an auditorium at the Bainbridge Island Museum of Art. Much more comfortable venue. I'm reluctant to go every time and have mixed feelings about it. (I even felt weird about 'TDoR' as a title for this post and decided not to.) This was the first one that I had been to after realizing I was agender. So, it seemed even more personal for me. It was hard enough to hear the names and know they were murdered, but most of them had more details as to how it happened. (Being shot, hung, etc.) There was a Buddhist priest that hit a bell (or gong?) after each name, which added to it. I thought it was a nice touch. I saw some people I hadn't seen in a long time, which was great. The theme at this one was about being welcomed. People don't just want to be 'tolerated' or 'loved', they want to feel welcomed to be themselves.
Dad was one of the speakers. There was also someone who was apart of the first TDoR 20 years ago in Boston (I think). It wasn't really 'official'. It was a march for a trans woman named Rita Hester who was brutally murdered. The following year they turned it into an annual vigil commemorating trans people who were murdered within that year around the world. At one point, they asked people to go up and speak. I couldn't. I think my throat would have closed up. The last speaker was a reverend, originally from Scotland. He was pretty cool.
Went to the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium in Tacoma the weekend after my birthday. I hadn't been to a zoo in a very long time. Haven't been to that particular one probably since 2003. It was just before I left for college. Dad had horrible migraines, and mom had a hard time getting around. I was the only one that was 'fine'. Kind of tainted it. Anyways, it was great this time. Half the animals seemed to be inside or relocated because of construction, so we couldn't see all of them. Saw quite a lot, though. It'd be cool to go to the Woodland Park Zoo in the future. I think I have more memories of that one, and it might be bigger. I just tend to forgot about the zoos and museums near us.
After that we went to the Cheesecake Factory. I had chicken pot-stickers. They were appetizers on the 'light' menu, and seemed the perfect size for dinner. So many entrees are ginormous there. They listed the calories, and the pot-stickers were one of the lowest. It was eye-opening to see the others. Many were over 1000 calories. I got their Very Cherry Ghirardelli Chocolate Cheesecake. It had quite a lot of calories, but at that point I didn't care. It was spectacular looking.
I tried adding more vegetables to all my meals besides dinner. It went ok for a couple of days, but then I felt it was just easier to go back to the way it was before. I also ended up feeling really sick. I'm not sure if adding the vegetables had anything to do with that part...Since I still have some mild malabsorption issues, I thought it would help me. Plus, peeling and cooking almost every vegetable made it more of a chore.
I wore my chest binder yesterday for a few hours. I'm thinking of getting back into it. I tend to forget to pull it down to almost passed my butt. If I don't it wrinkles up and gets really uncomfortable. With it pulled down like that, it feels much better. Hardly notice it, except it's not very flexible. So, I really notice it while picking up things, going to sit, going up stairs, and such. I look much better in the mirror with it. Shirts sit different, too. I've noticed that I burp a lot with it on, too. Not sure what that's about.
I plan to look for a new primary soon. Partly because I want to start Kaiser Permanente's Gender Health Program. Just glanced at their site on it, and apparently if I call their gender specialists, they can connect me with a primary that's been trained in gender-related health care. Not sure if they'd have anybody like that near me. I can't stand my current one. She hasn't asked me to come in for a wellness visit, and it's been roughly 1 1/2 years since I last saw her. It's supposed to be once a year, considering all the health stuff I've had. The last time I saw her she gave me a lecture when I brought up trying another GI. I wanted one with an MD. I had only one with an MD. The next one was a nurse, and the last one a physician's assistant. They can't do much. The PA even told me her hands were tied and couldn't help. She also keeps telling me how smart I am. I don't go there to be praised, and when it's all the time, it ain't flattering. I have a feeling if I told her I was trans, she'd think I was influenced by Dad, seeking attention, or something. The new one would know I was trans from the start. I feel I need to come out in order to talk about this stuff with them. If I get someone trained in gender issues, that'd be best.
Recently, I decided to try and friend more people on fb. I only friend or accept requests from people I know in some way. I haven't met all of them in person. Some are from forums I was active on years ago. Most of the new ones I knew for a while, but thought they wouldn't accept it. I should have just friended them in the past without caring about that. Considering not accepting it is the worst that will come of it. I think I got 10 new friends on there in the last week or so. One was someone from an ace group on there who friended me. That was cool. I don't usually think too much about friending people from groups on there. Maybe I should. There are some cool people in all the groups I'm in.
Finished watching The Method on Netflix. It was really raw. More so than many detective shows. I liked it but didn't at the same time. Went back to watching The Sniffer after that. It's another detective series. Interestingly, it's Ukrainian, set in an unknown Russian city, and filmed in Ukraine. It's a much better show. The main character doesn't want to kill anyone. The one from The Method kills without thinking, and calls it mercy afterwards. The one in The Sniffer is a bit of a germophobe for a good reason. He has a super sensitive nose, and it can get to be too much if there are too many smells around him. He keeps his apartment extremely clean so he's not overwhelmed. He tells people to wear special suits when they visit him. He also has his own elevator and parking garage. Same reason behind wearing gloves and not shaking hands. He's officially a partner as an 'expert' to the detective now. The detective reminds me of an actor from NCIS: LA. Both characters have great chemistry and their humor is on point. I just hate the 'sniffer's' ex-wife. She always seems to have a bee up her bonnet. She treats their son like crap, too. Turns out she might be addicted to prescription drugs, so that might be why.
Dropped Asobi Asobase. It was hilarious until there was a transphobic segment. I thought it'd turn out different. The girls were suspecting her to be a boy that hid 'himself' in order to get into an all-girls' school. This was after one of the characters saw her dumping a boy. The boy did say he didn't care if she were trans, and that he still loved her. That was a plus, at least. The girls really wanted to ask if she was a 'boy', but were terrified. She messed with them a little. (That part's kind of understandable.) She's considered one of the most popular girls. After being questioned, they made her appear normal. I thought that was great. They never revealed that she was trans, either. The true issue I had was about a second later the narrator cut in, and said that one of the girls (Hanako?) instinctively knew the truth and something was wrong. She made it seem like she was a wolf in sheep's clothing or something. It was very negative and perpetuated the idea that, in particular, trans girls/women are out to trick people. Not cool. I won't sit through more of that. I haven't come across many anime that were so blatant about it.
Apparently, a remake of Fruits Basket's coming out in 2019. I usually get notified of anime that I'm interested in about to be aired, and news on anime I've seen from MyAnimeList. The news was all over the Japanese/Asian pages I follow on fb, too. Ones that aren't anime based. It was one of the first shows that got me hooked. Not long before that I thought anime was just for little kids. I was so wrong...My roommate and floormates at one of the dorms in college introduced me to it. Yes, that entire floor was into anime...It was scary at first. They were far more into it than I ever was. It's one of the best shoujo series out there. I don't normally like shoujo. The anime was great, but the manga was 100 times better. It was one of the first manga I read. The manga ran from 1998 until 2006. (Longer than I thought...) The anime aired in 2001. So, they were only working off of 3 of the 8 years for the adaptation. Many fans hated the ending. The mangaka (creator) had issues with how things were done. With this new version, they plan to adapt it in its entirety. They plan to have totally different voice actors, director, production, etc. I have to admit, I liked the English dubbed version more than the Japanese version. That's rare for me. It seems like they'll have better ones this time. The mangaka is overseeing everything, too. The art is getting an upgrade. The mangaka said that she was very sick when she made Fruits Basket, so according to her, her art was shaky and not up to par. I don't know about that...It was a bit different compared to the anime, though. Should be interesting to see the new art. So far there are only 2 promo posters, and I can't really get a 'feel' from them. I didn't think they'd remake it, and certainly not 18 years later.
Sent a DNA sample to AncestryDNA. It was spit-based, and I was surprised at how much they wanted. It was gross 'collecting' it. I'll get to see where all of my family came from. Dad did it a few months ago. Should be interesting. It'll take 6-8 weeks.
Dad was one of the speakers. There was also someone who was apart of the first TDoR 20 years ago in Boston (I think). It wasn't really 'official'. It was a march for a trans woman named Rita Hester who was brutally murdered. The following year they turned it into an annual vigil commemorating trans people who were murdered within that year around the world. At one point, they asked people to go up and speak. I couldn't. I think my throat would have closed up. The last speaker was a reverend, originally from Scotland. He was pretty cool.
Went to the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium in Tacoma the weekend after my birthday. I hadn't been to a zoo in a very long time. Haven't been to that particular one probably since 2003. It was just before I left for college. Dad had horrible migraines, and mom had a hard time getting around. I was the only one that was 'fine'. Kind of tainted it. Anyways, it was great this time. Half the animals seemed to be inside or relocated because of construction, so we couldn't see all of them. Saw quite a lot, though. It'd be cool to go to the Woodland Park Zoo in the future. I think I have more memories of that one, and it might be bigger. I just tend to forgot about the zoos and museums near us.
After that we went to the Cheesecake Factory. I had chicken pot-stickers. They were appetizers on the 'light' menu, and seemed the perfect size for dinner. So many entrees are ginormous there. They listed the calories, and the pot-stickers were one of the lowest. It was eye-opening to see the others. Many were over 1000 calories. I got their Very Cherry Ghirardelli Chocolate Cheesecake. It had quite a lot of calories, but at that point I didn't care. It was spectacular looking.
I tried adding more vegetables to all my meals besides dinner. It went ok for a couple of days, but then I felt it was just easier to go back to the way it was before. I also ended up feeling really sick. I'm not sure if adding the vegetables had anything to do with that part...Since I still have some mild malabsorption issues, I thought it would help me. Plus, peeling and cooking almost every vegetable made it more of a chore.
I wore my chest binder yesterday for a few hours. I'm thinking of getting back into it. I tend to forget to pull it down to almost passed my butt. If I don't it wrinkles up and gets really uncomfortable. With it pulled down like that, it feels much better. Hardly notice it, except it's not very flexible. So, I really notice it while picking up things, going to sit, going up stairs, and such. I look much better in the mirror with it. Shirts sit different, too. I've noticed that I burp a lot with it on, too. Not sure what that's about.
I plan to look for a new primary soon. Partly because I want to start Kaiser Permanente's Gender Health Program. Just glanced at their site on it, and apparently if I call their gender specialists, they can connect me with a primary that's been trained in gender-related health care. Not sure if they'd have anybody like that near me. I can't stand my current one. She hasn't asked me to come in for a wellness visit, and it's been roughly 1 1/2 years since I last saw her. It's supposed to be once a year, considering all the health stuff I've had. The last time I saw her she gave me a lecture when I brought up trying another GI. I wanted one with an MD. I had only one with an MD. The next one was a nurse, and the last one a physician's assistant. They can't do much. The PA even told me her hands were tied and couldn't help. She also keeps telling me how smart I am. I don't go there to be praised, and when it's all the time, it ain't flattering. I have a feeling if I told her I was trans, she'd think I was influenced by Dad, seeking attention, or something. The new one would know I was trans from the start. I feel I need to come out in order to talk about this stuff with them. If I get someone trained in gender issues, that'd be best.
Recently, I decided to try and friend more people on fb. I only friend or accept requests from people I know in some way. I haven't met all of them in person. Some are from forums I was active on years ago. Most of the new ones I knew for a while, but thought they wouldn't accept it. I should have just friended them in the past without caring about that. Considering not accepting it is the worst that will come of it. I think I got 10 new friends on there in the last week or so. One was someone from an ace group on there who friended me. That was cool. I don't usually think too much about friending people from groups on there. Maybe I should. There are some cool people in all the groups I'm in.
Finished watching The Method on Netflix. It was really raw. More so than many detective shows. I liked it but didn't at the same time. Went back to watching The Sniffer after that. It's another detective series. Interestingly, it's Ukrainian, set in an unknown Russian city, and filmed in Ukraine. It's a much better show. The main character doesn't want to kill anyone. The one from The Method kills without thinking, and calls it mercy afterwards. The one in The Sniffer is a bit of a germophobe for a good reason. He has a super sensitive nose, and it can get to be too much if there are too many smells around him. He keeps his apartment extremely clean so he's not overwhelmed. He tells people to wear special suits when they visit him. He also has his own elevator and parking garage. Same reason behind wearing gloves and not shaking hands. He's officially a partner as an 'expert' to the detective now. The detective reminds me of an actor from NCIS: LA. Both characters have great chemistry and their humor is on point. I just hate the 'sniffer's' ex-wife. She always seems to have a bee up her bonnet. She treats their son like crap, too. Turns out she might be addicted to prescription drugs, so that might be why.
Dropped Asobi Asobase. It was hilarious until there was a transphobic segment. I thought it'd turn out different. The girls were suspecting her to be a boy that hid 'himself' in order to get into an all-girls' school. This was after one of the characters saw her dumping a boy. The boy did say he didn't care if she were trans, and that he still loved her. That was a plus, at least. The girls really wanted to ask if she was a 'boy', but were terrified. She messed with them a little. (That part's kind of understandable.) She's considered one of the most popular girls. After being questioned, they made her appear normal. I thought that was great. They never revealed that she was trans, either. The true issue I had was about a second later the narrator cut in, and said that one of the girls (Hanako?) instinctively knew the truth and something was wrong. She made it seem like she was a wolf in sheep's clothing or something. It was very negative and perpetuated the idea that, in particular, trans girls/women are out to trick people. Not cool. I won't sit through more of that. I haven't come across many anime that were so blatant about it.
Apparently, a remake of Fruits Basket's coming out in 2019. I usually get notified of anime that I'm interested in about to be aired, and news on anime I've seen from MyAnimeList. The news was all over the Japanese/Asian pages I follow on fb, too. Ones that aren't anime based. It was one of the first shows that got me hooked. Not long before that I thought anime was just for little kids. I was so wrong...My roommate and floormates at one of the dorms in college introduced me to it. Yes, that entire floor was into anime...It was scary at first. They were far more into it than I ever was. It's one of the best shoujo series out there. I don't normally like shoujo. The anime was great, but the manga was 100 times better. It was one of the first manga I read. The manga ran from 1998 until 2006. (Longer than I thought...) The anime aired in 2001. So, they were only working off of 3 of the 8 years for the adaptation. Many fans hated the ending. The mangaka (creator) had issues with how things were done. With this new version, they plan to adapt it in its entirety. They plan to have totally different voice actors, director, production, etc. I have to admit, I liked the English dubbed version more than the Japanese version. That's rare for me. It seems like they'll have better ones this time. The mangaka is overseeing everything, too. The art is getting an upgrade. The mangaka said that she was very sick when she made Fruits Basket, so according to her, her art was shaky and not up to par. I don't know about that...It was a bit different compared to the anime, though. Should be interesting to see the new art. So far there are only 2 promo posters, and I can't really get a 'feel' from them. I didn't think they'd remake it, and certainly not 18 years later.
Sent a DNA sample to AncestryDNA. It was spit-based, and I was surprised at how much they wanted. It was gross 'collecting' it. I'll get to see where all of my family came from. Dad did it a few months ago. Should be interesting. It'll take 6-8 weeks.
Thursday, April 19, 2018
Garlic Day!
I love garlic! One day to celebrate it is not enough! It's also Bicycle Day. I haven't ridden a bike in a long time. My current bike, one that I got when I was around 11, is deteriorating. It has sat in the garage for a while and bugs have chewed on the handle bars, seat, and tires. I tried to have it repaired a few years ago, but it didn't do much. As soon as I started to ride it, it deflated and seemed to reverse to the way it was before we brought it to the repair shop. I probably need a new one if I ever go back to riding a bike. I loved it as a tween/teen. In fact, it seemed like I couldn't get enough of it. It helped with getting me down to a normal weight when I got it.
I've been feeling worse gut-wise lately. To me, it seems like I might actually be flaring again. Before, I was apparently feeling the effects of the scarring in my colon, but this is different. By the way, I love being in an IBD group and many have said that being in remission is not really something to be excited about. (Maybe a little happy...) You still suffer through a lot of the symptoms or side effects. Often with new ones, like with the scarring I had new types of pains/symptoms to deal with. They never completely go away. Going to the bathroom a lot more often, a lot more piercing-like pain in my gut, sometimes just breathing has set off more pain, etc. I've been really ravenous yet nauseous at the same time lately. That's been really weird. It's like I have an incredible urge to eat, but just the thought of eating makes me want to throw up. When I knew I was flaring in the past, I didn't have much of an appetite. So, this is different. However, I have read that things can be different with every flare. I've also had a more sluggish feeling when I wake up than usual. I figure if this stuff continues and/or becomes more severe, I'll either go to Urgent Care or email my primary. I don't trust my primary or GI, though. (I've mentioned the reasons in the past on here.)
I want to bring up top surgery with my primary soon. Just to go over it. I have more than one reason for top surgery. Not sure which one I'll use to talk to her about it. Should I come out to someone who treated me disrespectfully last time, or bring it up as preventing breast cancer? The breast cancer is a big thing. My mom had it, my mom's mom had it, and one of my mom's sisters had it. That's of the ones I know. I have an extremely high probability of getting it. (Not sure if I have the gene.) And, yes, I am scared of it. If I do get top surgery in the future, they would need to take most of it out. Not leave a little, like they do most of the time to make it look 'natural' and masculine. (Men usually aren't completely flat. They have a little something there.) Plus, nipples also get to me, so I'd tell them to not form ones for me. Often, they form new nipples from the patient's own tissue. Also, to make it look natural. I think people get sensation back with them eventually, too.
I ordered a chest binder on Sunday and got it yesterday. That's pretty quick. It's called the Ultimate Chest Binder Tank from Underworks. It's very long and can be tucked in my jeans. It also mentioned that it compresses the stomach a bit, too. The 'compression' rating was 'extreme'. Also, was highly rated and one of their bestsellers. Including tax and shipping, it was $35. That's really not bad. There are a lot more expensive sites for them. If I had been 2 sizes bigger, it'd be $7 more. It adds more to the price the bigger you are at a certain point, and continues to up to their largest size. I was lucky considering I was small enough to not have the price increase. I thought I'd be a bigger size than I am. They have gotten smaller with losing weight, but I didn't think by much. I'm a large according to them, with 2 inches to spare until the next larger size. The model for it looked a bit strange, since they had compression underwear on as well. (I didn't know there was such a thing...) That was slightly distracting in visualizing it for myself.
I wore it yesterday. Wanted to see what it was like right away, and see what others thought. It wasn't as difficult to get into as I expected. I couldn't put it on the way they suggested, because of my hips being too wide. They suggest putting your legs through the neck hole, and then pulling the whole thing up. It bunched at my hips. So, I put it over my head like a shirt instead. I've read some trans men and enbies have to do it that way, since some of us are curvier than others. It was a little difficult to get both arms through the holes. Then, the whole thing bunched up with my hair, at my armpits. So, I had to wrestle a bit while making sure I didn't rip my hair out. I think I still ended up getting long strands of hair underneath the binder. However, I noticed those ticklish strands were symmetric on either side of me, so it might be apart of the actual binder. I only felt that when I moved my arms up. It's a bit longer than what it showed on the model. It actually covers most of my butt. It's supposed to end at my hips. I don't think I had it on straight at first. While out somewhere in the bathroom, I readjusted it a bit and it fit a lot better. Didn't feel it much after that.
It definitely seemed to make my breasts disappear, which was a nice thing to see. The only part I didn't like much was while looking down at myself, it seems to make my gut look bigger. Seemingly turning me into a ball...However, looking at it in a mirror after it was readjusted, it wasn't as pronounced as I thought. In fact, I seemed to look a little thinner. It just was my perspective playing tricks on me. Things fit differently, too. Things like seat belts were positioned differently. That was very interesting. I know it makes it more of a 'masculine' shape, so it would be different, but I didn't expect things to be by that much.
It's a bit stiff to move around in. That might change as I break it in. I only noticed a slight breathing issue after wearing it for about 4 hours. I wasn't really out of breath, but it was like my breaths weren't fully being taken in. I also started to get sharp jabs of pain in my abdomen. That might have actually been related to my colitis, though. I immediately took it off when we got home anyways. I panicked for a moment as I tried to get it off. I felt stuck. Out of frustration, I shoved it down as hard as I could off of me. It actually worked. Maybe stepping into it would work if I bunched it up, pull it up quickly, and then undid that once it got over my hips. It kind of was like the opposite of that getting it off. I felt like I broke it, but that would be difficult to do. Might try that next time.
They say you should never wear them for more than 12 hours, and it's advisable to wear up to 8 hours max. I think I'm going to start with a couple of hours each time and maybe add more time slowly to it. 4 hours might have been too long for a first wear. I didn't cough after getting it off like people suggest. Apparently, it's to clear your lungs. I didn't wear it today, because I think I still feel a little weird respiratory-wise. I hope to wear it tomorrow afternoon. We'll see.
I posted about it on my fb page, the enby fb group, and Instagram. Got a lot of likes and loves so far. A friend I knew from high school asked what the reason behind the binder was. I had talked about the binder stuff and how I'm dysphoric about my chest a lot lately on fb. So, this threw me off a bit. Maybe she didn't realize it or see those posts? Or was surprised? She seemed understanding when I explained it. It's ok to ask questions, but seemed odd. I noticed after my explanation and another post related to it, 2 friends defriended me on fb. I can't figure out who dropped me. I thought it was some of my conservative family and friends, but all of them are still there. In one way I feel a little hurt, but in another way happy about it. Maybe they were transphobic and actually realized that I was trans? Or, they didn't approve of what I was doing? I don't need people like them in my friends' list anyways.
There was a local trans meeting last night. Partially why I wanted to wear my binder right away. Most of the meeting was taken up by basically one person saying how angry they were with the group not being the way they want it, talking about their trans cafe/building ideas (we still don't have a permanent place), arguing with others, etc. Most stuff that has been discussed to death in the group already. It was very off putting. We did go over a couple of other topics, but she really did dominate the time. Another person that came late also seemed angry about Pride stuff. Things we honestly have already discussed with that, too. She wanted to put the burden of Pride stuff on someone else. These people never talk in the online group about all this, which is basically where it needs to be done. Other members can give more input, too.
I also have some personal issues with the person who was angry with the group. She still sees me as a woman. She doesn't get a lot of the stuff I talk about. She doesn't have to, but she does need to be respectful. When I first brought up that I was agender, she said there are many different types of women out there. Yes, there are. But, I'm not one of them. When I use air quotes around feminine in relation to myself, she immediately corrects me and says it is feminine. For example, I mentioned my 'feminine' hairstyle. She immediately said it definitely is. No, it's mine. It's considered feminine by society, but it's my style. Hard to describe why it felt so weird. Or, how about bringing up that I sometimes like makeup and doing my nails, and she responded with: "Don't we gals all love that stuff?!" Also, she seems to put some sort of sexual thing to everything. Not in a dirty humor sort of way, but creepy.
She kept referring to my binder as a corset. When I told her it wasn't one, she said it practically is. No, just no...Corsets deal with shaping the waist. Binders deal with the chest, and bind or compress breasts. If worn correctly and with the right size, they don't actually permanently shape anything. I do have to say, there are horror stories of people not binding correctly. You can break ribs, end up with chronic respiratory problems, bruise the area, rip chunks off (some people use duct tape, and that's one of the outcomes with that), etc. That's why I'm going to try my best with being mindful and safe about it.
I'm up to 200 pages in total with writing both Alliance 3 and the cookbook. I'm glad I got over my wall with Alliance, however I've been skipping writing it more often lately. I've been getting up later because of whatever is going on with me. (Possible flare.) I still have a lot of ideas, so hopefully I can get back into it again soon. I'm still rearranging the cookbook. Just got into the dessert sections with that. Not much left. After that, I'll go through to edit some more and/or make sure things are the way they should be. I might look at other cookbooks again to see if I still like the template I have at the moment or the order the sections are in.
I finished watching the most current season of Gintama (Silver Soul). It was amazing. I love how the women are so strong in it, and how every character has a role to play. There were a ton of old characters that reappeared. Some of them we hadn't seen since the beginning of the series. (It's a long series.) That was a treat. I missed some of them. Apparently the final season will be coming up soon. I don't want it to end. It's an amazing series.
Finished Miira no Kaikata (How to Keep a Mummy). It was one of the cutest anime I've seen. It also had a dark tone not only to the humor, but the story as well. I like that sort of thing. I want a little miira-kun...They're so cute and loving. (We don't know the gender of any of the baby creatures.) The dream-eating tapir was interesting, too. The humans taking care of these creatures (there was a baby dragon and oni or demon too) weren't exactly 'normal' themselves. I like that Sora has a 'feminine' side. His friend, Tazuki, thinks he should be embarrassed about it and is confused that he's not. Tazuki seems cold and aloof most of the time. He's also very protective of Sora. He got the baby oni, which was fitting. Another character had a sleep issue. Every time he slept, he'd have violent nightmares, sleep walk during them, and act out. He tried to go without sleep, but would end up sleeping during school, and beat up people. After the tapir found him, his nightmares disappeared (the tapir was eating them), he was happier, and his real personality came out. The girl in the group is super strong physically, and has an unusual fear of reptiles. Odd for her to get the dragon. In fact, she tried to kill them at first.
Started watching Saredo Tsumibito wa Ryuu to Odoru or Dances with the Dragons. It's interesting and I'm unsure if I like it or not. Started watching Devils Line. I was unsure about this one after the first episode. Second one made me like it quite a bit. It's a vampire anime, but much more mature and violent than most are. Should be interesting to see where this one goes.
Started watching Shiyan Pin Jiating. That's actually adapted from a Chinese manhua or comic. So, it's a Chinese and Japanese anime collab. That one has been really intriguing. The only downside so far is they're about half as long as usual for each episode. It's about a family where the parents are scientists and have left their children behind. All but one of those children are made from experiments. That one 'human' is the only one that seems to be taking charge of taking care of everyone. He's also very intelligent. One of the sisters is part spider. She has 4 spider legs in addition to her 'human' legs and arms. She also spits acid on her food and likes to hunt insects. Another sister is part plant and only needs sunlight and water to survive. She sometimes grows things from her body. Another sister is psychic and doesn't talk much. The other brother is part dog. He turns into one whenever he's excited. It reminds me of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki or Diary of a Crazed Family. All the family members, except one, weren't really 'human'. One's part cat, another jellyfish, another lion, etc. Very much like it actually. But, they were descendants of a G-d, not experiments. I loved that show, and I like the concept. So, this is my kind of thing. Started watching the 3rd season of Boku no (My) Hero Academia. This has become one of my faves.
Still watching the 2nd season of Saiki Kusuo no Psi-nan or the Disastrous Life of Saiki Kusuo. With every episode, I love this series more and more. It can be a bit difficult to get into at first, considering they talk really fast in this one. Kusuo basically said he was aro, and it's hinted he's ace as well. He has no interest in romance, doesn't understand the point of it, and has never felt romantically attracted to anyone. He doesn't seem attracted to people sexually, either. He does care deeply for his friends and family, and as long as it doesn't involve him directly, he tries to help them with their romantic pursuits/issues. With the most recent episode, he's proven how incredibly overpowered he is with his psychic abilities yet again. He has set a time loop that repeats a year 4 times so far. The earth shifts back a year each time, but he uses mind control over the people. They don't age and they think it's just another day in that year with each passing year. It's a bit confusing. This way new things do pop up, but earth-based events are the same. He's doing all this so a volcano doesn't destroy Japan. He has been trying to figure out how to stop it without destroying the entire world himself. His pink hairpins inhibit his abilities. If both of them came off, he'd unknowingly destroy everything. Maybe even the universe. His glasses inhibit his visual abilities, thin gloves inhibit his abilities based on touch, etc. I love the concept behind his character and story. He's constantly helping people without them even realizing it. He finds a lot of it a chore, but feels good about it afterwards. There are a lot of other interesting characters, too.
Still watching One Piece. I have a little over 150 episodes until I catch up to the current ones. Getting close. It's a very long series. I'm surprised I've made it this far this quickly. (I'm not watching a lot of episodes at once.) I like it a lot. It's not necessarily my favorite, nothing could compare to Gintama to me, but it's getting close. Also, it helps that the main character, Luffy, is aro ace. (Confirmed by the creator.) He only has interest in food and adventure. He thinks of his crew as family and loves animals. Treats animals almost like he does humans, unless he's hungry. He tames them easily, too. The arcs seem to be getting longer and longer. Joker or Doflamingo, the current villain, is the only villain so far that has the perfect evil laugh. He seems to be the most clever, vindictive, and ruthless one, too. Black Clover has been good, too.
The 2 recent manga I finished (they're on the side list) were good. Much better than expected. One of them had way too much romance at times, though. The 2 onesthat I started (also on the other list) have been good, as well.
I've also been keeping up with drawing character heads from Alliance. (I always found the word 'bust' odd for heads in art...) I've finished 9 of them so far. People seem to like them, even though I see so many mistakes and they're not exactly what's in my head. There are so many more characters...It's quite a project. I have noticed that drawing them is taking less time with each 'head'. So, that's good.
I've been feeling worse gut-wise lately. To me, it seems like I might actually be flaring again. Before, I was apparently feeling the effects of the scarring in my colon, but this is different. By the way, I love being in an IBD group and many have said that being in remission is not really something to be excited about. (Maybe a little happy...) You still suffer through a lot of the symptoms or side effects. Often with new ones, like with the scarring I had new types of pains/symptoms to deal with. They never completely go away. Going to the bathroom a lot more often, a lot more piercing-like pain in my gut, sometimes just breathing has set off more pain, etc. I've been really ravenous yet nauseous at the same time lately. That's been really weird. It's like I have an incredible urge to eat, but just the thought of eating makes me want to throw up. When I knew I was flaring in the past, I didn't have much of an appetite. So, this is different. However, I have read that things can be different with every flare. I've also had a more sluggish feeling when I wake up than usual. I figure if this stuff continues and/or becomes more severe, I'll either go to Urgent Care or email my primary. I don't trust my primary or GI, though. (I've mentioned the reasons in the past on here.)
I want to bring up top surgery with my primary soon. Just to go over it. I have more than one reason for top surgery. Not sure which one I'll use to talk to her about it. Should I come out to someone who treated me disrespectfully last time, or bring it up as preventing breast cancer? The breast cancer is a big thing. My mom had it, my mom's mom had it, and one of my mom's sisters had it. That's of the ones I know. I have an extremely high probability of getting it. (Not sure if I have the gene.) And, yes, I am scared of it. If I do get top surgery in the future, they would need to take most of it out. Not leave a little, like they do most of the time to make it look 'natural' and masculine. (Men usually aren't completely flat. They have a little something there.) Plus, nipples also get to me, so I'd tell them to not form ones for me. Often, they form new nipples from the patient's own tissue. Also, to make it look natural. I think people get sensation back with them eventually, too.
I ordered a chest binder on Sunday and got it yesterday. That's pretty quick. It's called the Ultimate Chest Binder Tank from Underworks. It's very long and can be tucked in my jeans. It also mentioned that it compresses the stomach a bit, too. The 'compression' rating was 'extreme'. Also, was highly rated and one of their bestsellers. Including tax and shipping, it was $35. That's really not bad. There are a lot more expensive sites for them. If I had been 2 sizes bigger, it'd be $7 more. It adds more to the price the bigger you are at a certain point, and continues to up to their largest size. I was lucky considering I was small enough to not have the price increase. I thought I'd be a bigger size than I am. They have gotten smaller with losing weight, but I didn't think by much. I'm a large according to them, with 2 inches to spare until the next larger size. The model for it looked a bit strange, since they had compression underwear on as well. (I didn't know there was such a thing...) That was slightly distracting in visualizing it for myself.
I wore it yesterday. Wanted to see what it was like right away, and see what others thought. It wasn't as difficult to get into as I expected. I couldn't put it on the way they suggested, because of my hips being too wide. They suggest putting your legs through the neck hole, and then pulling the whole thing up. It bunched at my hips. So, I put it over my head like a shirt instead. I've read some trans men and enbies have to do it that way, since some of us are curvier than others. It was a little difficult to get both arms through the holes. Then, the whole thing bunched up with my hair, at my armpits. So, I had to wrestle a bit while making sure I didn't rip my hair out. I think I still ended up getting long strands of hair underneath the binder. However, I noticed those ticklish strands were symmetric on either side of me, so it might be apart of the actual binder. I only felt that when I moved my arms up. It's a bit longer than what it showed on the model. It actually covers most of my butt. It's supposed to end at my hips. I don't think I had it on straight at first. While out somewhere in the bathroom, I readjusted it a bit and it fit a lot better. Didn't feel it much after that.
It definitely seemed to make my breasts disappear, which was a nice thing to see. The only part I didn't like much was while looking down at myself, it seems to make my gut look bigger. Seemingly turning me into a ball...However, looking at it in a mirror after it was readjusted, it wasn't as pronounced as I thought. In fact, I seemed to look a little thinner. It just was my perspective playing tricks on me. Things fit differently, too. Things like seat belts were positioned differently. That was very interesting. I know it makes it more of a 'masculine' shape, so it would be different, but I didn't expect things to be by that much.
It's a bit stiff to move around in. That might change as I break it in. I only noticed a slight breathing issue after wearing it for about 4 hours. I wasn't really out of breath, but it was like my breaths weren't fully being taken in. I also started to get sharp jabs of pain in my abdomen. That might have actually been related to my colitis, though. I immediately took it off when we got home anyways. I panicked for a moment as I tried to get it off. I felt stuck. Out of frustration, I shoved it down as hard as I could off of me. It actually worked. Maybe stepping into it would work if I bunched it up, pull it up quickly, and then undid that once it got over my hips. It kind of was like the opposite of that getting it off. I felt like I broke it, but that would be difficult to do. Might try that next time.
They say you should never wear them for more than 12 hours, and it's advisable to wear up to 8 hours max. I think I'm going to start with a couple of hours each time and maybe add more time slowly to it. 4 hours might have been too long for a first wear. I didn't cough after getting it off like people suggest. Apparently, it's to clear your lungs. I didn't wear it today, because I think I still feel a little weird respiratory-wise. I hope to wear it tomorrow afternoon. We'll see.
I posted about it on my fb page, the enby fb group, and Instagram. Got a lot of likes and loves so far. A friend I knew from high school asked what the reason behind the binder was. I had talked about the binder stuff and how I'm dysphoric about my chest a lot lately on fb. So, this threw me off a bit. Maybe she didn't realize it or see those posts? Or was surprised? She seemed understanding when I explained it. It's ok to ask questions, but seemed odd. I noticed after my explanation and another post related to it, 2 friends defriended me on fb. I can't figure out who dropped me. I thought it was some of my conservative family and friends, but all of them are still there. In one way I feel a little hurt, but in another way happy about it. Maybe they were transphobic and actually realized that I was trans? Or, they didn't approve of what I was doing? I don't need people like them in my friends' list anyways.
There was a local trans meeting last night. Partially why I wanted to wear my binder right away. Most of the meeting was taken up by basically one person saying how angry they were with the group not being the way they want it, talking about their trans cafe/building ideas (we still don't have a permanent place), arguing with others, etc. Most stuff that has been discussed to death in the group already. It was very off putting. We did go over a couple of other topics, but she really did dominate the time. Another person that came late also seemed angry about Pride stuff. Things we honestly have already discussed with that, too. She wanted to put the burden of Pride stuff on someone else. These people never talk in the online group about all this, which is basically where it needs to be done. Other members can give more input, too.
I also have some personal issues with the person who was angry with the group. She still sees me as a woman. She doesn't get a lot of the stuff I talk about. She doesn't have to, but she does need to be respectful. When I first brought up that I was agender, she said there are many different types of women out there. Yes, there are. But, I'm not one of them. When I use air quotes around feminine in relation to myself, she immediately corrects me and says it is feminine. For example, I mentioned my 'feminine' hairstyle. She immediately said it definitely is. No, it's mine. It's considered feminine by society, but it's my style. Hard to describe why it felt so weird. Or, how about bringing up that I sometimes like makeup and doing my nails, and she responded with: "Don't we gals all love that stuff?!" Also, she seems to put some sort of sexual thing to everything. Not in a dirty humor sort of way, but creepy.
She kept referring to my binder as a corset. When I told her it wasn't one, she said it practically is. No, just no...Corsets deal with shaping the waist. Binders deal with the chest, and bind or compress breasts. If worn correctly and with the right size, they don't actually permanently shape anything. I do have to say, there are horror stories of people not binding correctly. You can break ribs, end up with chronic respiratory problems, bruise the area, rip chunks off (some people use duct tape, and that's one of the outcomes with that), etc. That's why I'm going to try my best with being mindful and safe about it.
I'm up to 200 pages in total with writing both Alliance 3 and the cookbook. I'm glad I got over my wall with Alliance, however I've been skipping writing it more often lately. I've been getting up later because of whatever is going on with me. (Possible flare.) I still have a lot of ideas, so hopefully I can get back into it again soon. I'm still rearranging the cookbook. Just got into the dessert sections with that. Not much left. After that, I'll go through to edit some more and/or make sure things are the way they should be. I might look at other cookbooks again to see if I still like the template I have at the moment or the order the sections are in.
I finished watching the most current season of Gintama (Silver Soul). It was amazing. I love how the women are so strong in it, and how every character has a role to play. There were a ton of old characters that reappeared. Some of them we hadn't seen since the beginning of the series. (It's a long series.) That was a treat. I missed some of them. Apparently the final season will be coming up soon. I don't want it to end. It's an amazing series.
Finished Miira no Kaikata (How to Keep a Mummy). It was one of the cutest anime I've seen. It also had a dark tone not only to the humor, but the story as well. I like that sort of thing. I want a little miira-kun...They're so cute and loving. (We don't know the gender of any of the baby creatures.) The dream-eating tapir was interesting, too. The humans taking care of these creatures (there was a baby dragon and oni or demon too) weren't exactly 'normal' themselves. I like that Sora has a 'feminine' side. His friend, Tazuki, thinks he should be embarrassed about it and is confused that he's not. Tazuki seems cold and aloof most of the time. He's also very protective of Sora. He got the baby oni, which was fitting. Another character had a sleep issue. Every time he slept, he'd have violent nightmares, sleep walk during them, and act out. He tried to go without sleep, but would end up sleeping during school, and beat up people. After the tapir found him, his nightmares disappeared (the tapir was eating them), he was happier, and his real personality came out. The girl in the group is super strong physically, and has an unusual fear of reptiles. Odd for her to get the dragon. In fact, she tried to kill them at first.
Started watching Saredo Tsumibito wa Ryuu to Odoru or Dances with the Dragons. It's interesting and I'm unsure if I like it or not. Started watching Devils Line. I was unsure about this one after the first episode. Second one made me like it quite a bit. It's a vampire anime, but much more mature and violent than most are. Should be interesting to see where this one goes.
Started watching Shiyan Pin Jiating. That's actually adapted from a Chinese manhua or comic. So, it's a Chinese and Japanese anime collab. That one has been really intriguing. The only downside so far is they're about half as long as usual for each episode. It's about a family where the parents are scientists and have left their children behind. All but one of those children are made from experiments. That one 'human' is the only one that seems to be taking charge of taking care of everyone. He's also very intelligent. One of the sisters is part spider. She has 4 spider legs in addition to her 'human' legs and arms. She also spits acid on her food and likes to hunt insects. Another sister is part plant and only needs sunlight and water to survive. She sometimes grows things from her body. Another sister is psychic and doesn't talk much. The other brother is part dog. He turns into one whenever he's excited. It reminds me of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki or Diary of a Crazed Family. All the family members, except one, weren't really 'human'. One's part cat, another jellyfish, another lion, etc. Very much like it actually. But, they were descendants of a G-d, not experiments. I loved that show, and I like the concept. So, this is my kind of thing. Started watching the 3rd season of Boku no (My) Hero Academia. This has become one of my faves.
Still watching the 2nd season of Saiki Kusuo no Psi-nan or the Disastrous Life of Saiki Kusuo. With every episode, I love this series more and more. It can be a bit difficult to get into at first, considering they talk really fast in this one. Kusuo basically said he was aro, and it's hinted he's ace as well. He has no interest in romance, doesn't understand the point of it, and has never felt romantically attracted to anyone. He doesn't seem attracted to people sexually, either. He does care deeply for his friends and family, and as long as it doesn't involve him directly, he tries to help them with their romantic pursuits/issues. With the most recent episode, he's proven how incredibly overpowered he is with his psychic abilities yet again. He has set a time loop that repeats a year 4 times so far. The earth shifts back a year each time, but he uses mind control over the people. They don't age and they think it's just another day in that year with each passing year. It's a bit confusing. This way new things do pop up, but earth-based events are the same. He's doing all this so a volcano doesn't destroy Japan. He has been trying to figure out how to stop it without destroying the entire world himself. His pink hairpins inhibit his abilities. If both of them came off, he'd unknowingly destroy everything. Maybe even the universe. His glasses inhibit his visual abilities, thin gloves inhibit his abilities based on touch, etc. I love the concept behind his character and story. He's constantly helping people without them even realizing it. He finds a lot of it a chore, but feels good about it afterwards. There are a lot of other interesting characters, too.
Still watching One Piece. I have a little over 150 episodes until I catch up to the current ones. Getting close. It's a very long series. I'm surprised I've made it this far this quickly. (I'm not watching a lot of episodes at once.) I like it a lot. It's not necessarily my favorite, nothing could compare to Gintama to me, but it's getting close. Also, it helps that the main character, Luffy, is aro ace. (Confirmed by the creator.) He only has interest in food and adventure. He thinks of his crew as family and loves animals. Treats animals almost like he does humans, unless he's hungry. He tames them easily, too. The arcs seem to be getting longer and longer. Joker or Doflamingo, the current villain, is the only villain so far that has the perfect evil laugh. He seems to be the most clever, vindictive, and ruthless one, too. Black Clover has been good, too.
The 2 recent manga I finished (they're on the side list) were good. Much better than expected. One of them had way too much romance at times, though. The 2 onesthat I started (also on the other list) have been good, as well.
I've also been keeping up with drawing character heads from Alliance. (I always found the word 'bust' odd for heads in art...) I've finished 9 of them so far. People seem to like them, even though I see so many mistakes and they're not exactly what's in my head. There are so many more characters...It's quite a project. I have noticed that drawing them is taking less time with each 'head'. So, that's good.
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