12th of Kislev

Today's Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR). Went to a TDoR vigil on Sunday. I haven't gone for a few years, and I think the last time was my first. That one was at a park in the rain and cold. This year it was in an auditorium at the Bainbridge Island Museum of Art. Much more comfortable venue. I'm reluctant to go every time and have mixed feelings about it. (I even felt weird about 'TDoR' as a title for this post and decided not to.) This was the first one that I had been to after realizing I was agender. So, it seemed even more personal for me. It was hard enough to hear the names and know they were murdered, but most of them had more details as to how it happened. (Being shot, hung, etc.) There was a Buddhist priest that hit a bell (or gong?) after each name, which added to it. I thought it was a nice touch. I saw some people I hadn't seen in a long time, which was great. The theme at this one was about being welcomed. People don't just want to be 'tolerated' or 'loved', they want to feel welcomed to be themselves. 

Dad was one of the speakers. There was also someone who was apart of the first TDoR 20 years ago in Boston (I think). It wasn't really 'official'. It was a march for a trans woman named Rita Hester who was brutally murdered. The following year they turned it into an annual vigil commemorating trans people who were murdered within that year around the world. At one point, they asked people to go up and speak. I couldn't. I think my throat would have closed up. The last speaker was a reverend, originally from Scotland. He was pretty cool. 

Went to the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium in Tacoma the weekend after my birthday. I hadn't been to a zoo in a very long time. Haven't been to that particular one probably since 2003. It was just before I left for college. Dad had horrible migraines, and mom had a hard time getting around. I was the only one that was 'fine'. Kind of tainted it. Anyways, it was great this time. Half the animals seemed to be inside or relocated because of construction, so we couldn't see all of them. Saw quite a lot, though. It'd be cool to go to the Woodland Park Zoo in the future. I think I have more memories of that one, and it might be bigger. I just tend to forgot about the zoos and museums near us. 

After that we went to the Cheesecake Factory. I had chicken pot-stickers. They were appetizers on the 'light' menu, and seemed the perfect size for dinner. So many entrees are ginormous there. They listed the calories, and the pot-stickers were one of the lowest. It was eye-opening to see the others. Many were over 1000 calories. I got their Very Cherry Ghirardelli Chocolate Cheesecake. It had quite a lot of calories, but at that point I didn't care. It was spectacular looking. 

I tried adding more vegetables to all my meals besides dinner. It went ok for a couple of days, but then I felt it was just easier to go back to the way it was before. I also ended up feeling really sick. I'm not sure if adding the vegetables had anything to do with that part...Since I still have some mild malabsorption issues, I thought it would help me. Plus, peeling and cooking almost every vegetable made it more of a chore.

I wore my chest binder yesterday for a few hours. I'm thinking of getting back into it. I tend to forget to pull it down to almost passed my butt. If I don't it wrinkles up and gets really uncomfortable. With it pulled down like that, it feels much better. Hardly notice it, except it's not very flexible. So, I really notice it while picking up things, going to sit, going up stairs, and such. I look much better in the mirror with it. Shirts sit different, too. I've noticed that I burp a lot with it on, too. Not sure what that's about. 

I plan to look for a new primary soon. Partly because I want to start Kaiser Permanente's Gender Health Program. Just glanced at their site on it, and apparently if I call their gender specialists, they can connect me with a primary that's been trained in gender-related health care. Not sure if they'd have anybody like that near me. I can't stand my current one. She hasn't asked me to come in for a wellness visit, and it's been roughly 1 1/2 years since I last saw her. It's supposed to be once a year, considering all the health stuff I've had. The last time I saw her she gave me a lecture when I brought up trying another GI. I wanted one with an MD. I had only one with an MD. The next one was a nurse, and the last one a physician's assistant. They can't do much. The PA even told me her hands were tied and couldn't help. She also keeps telling me how smart I am. I don't go there to be praised, and when it's all the time, it ain't flattering. I have a feeling if I told her I was trans, she'd think I was influenced by Dad, seeking attention, or something. The new one would know I was trans from the start. I feel I need to come out in order to talk about this stuff with them. If I get someone trained in gender issues, that'd be best. 

Recently, I decided to try and friend more people on fb. I only friend or accept requests from people I know in some way. I haven't met all of them in person. Some are from forums I was active on years ago. Most of the new ones I knew for a while, but thought they wouldn't accept it. I should have just friended them in the past without caring about that. Considering not accepting it is the worst that will come of it. I think I got 10 new friends on there in the last week or so. One was someone from an ace group on there who friended me. That was cool. I don't usually think too much about friending people from groups on there. Maybe I should. There are some cool people in all the groups I'm in.

Finished watching The Method on Netflix. It was really raw. More so than many detective shows. I liked it but didn't at the same time. Went back to watching The Sniffer after that. It's another detective series. Interestingly, it's Ukrainian, set in an unknown Russian city, and filmed in Ukraine. It's a much better show. The main character doesn't want to kill anyone. The one from The Method kills without thinking, and calls it mercy afterwards. The one in The Sniffer is a bit of a germophobe for a good reason. He has a super sensitive nose, and it can get to be too much if there are too many smells around him. He keeps his apartment extremely clean so he's not overwhelmed. He tells people to wear special suits when they visit him. He also has his own elevator and parking garage. Same reason behind wearing gloves and not shaking hands. He's officially a partner as an 'expert' to the detective now. The detective reminds me of an actor from NCIS: LA. Both characters have great chemistry and their humor is on point. I just hate the 'sniffer's' ex-wife. She always seems to have a bee up her bonnet. She treats their son like crap, too. Turns out she might be addicted to prescription drugs, so that might be why.

Dropped Asobi Asobase. It was hilarious until there was a transphobic segment. I thought it'd turn out different. The girls were suspecting her to be a boy that hid 'himself' in order to get into an all-girls' school. This was after one of the characters saw her dumping a boy. The boy did say he didn't care if she were trans, and that he still loved her. That was a plus, at least. The girls really wanted to ask if she was a 'boy', but were terrified. She messed with them a little. (That part's kind of understandable.) She's considered one of the most popular girls. After being questioned, they made her appear normal. I thought that was great. They never revealed that she was trans, either. The true issue I had was about a second later the narrator cut in, and said that one of the girls (Hanako?) instinctively knew the truth and something was wrong. She made it seem like she was a wolf in sheep's clothing or something. It was very negative and perpetuated the idea that, in particular, trans girls/women are out to trick people. Not cool. I won't sit through more of that. I haven't come across many anime that were so blatant about it. 

Apparently, a remake of Fruits Basket's coming out in 2019. I usually get notified of anime that I'm interested in about to be aired, and news on anime I've seen from MyAnimeList. The news was all over the Japanese/Asian pages I follow on fb, too. Ones that aren't anime based. It was one of the first shows that got me hooked. Not long before that I thought anime was just for little kids. I was so wrong...My roommate and floormates at one of the dorms in college introduced me to it. Yes, that entire floor was into anime...It was scary at first. They were far more into it than I ever was. It's one of the best shoujo series out there. I don't normally like shoujo. The anime was great, but the manga was 100 times better. It was one of the first manga I read. The manga ran from 1998 until 2006. (Longer than I thought...) The anime aired in 2001. So, they were only working off of 3 of the 8 years for the adaptation. Many fans hated the ending. The mangaka (creator) had issues with how things were done. With this new version, they plan to adapt it in its entirety. They plan to have totally different voice actors, director, production, etc. I have to admit, I liked the English dubbed version more than the Japanese version. That's rare for me. It seems like they'll have better ones this time. The mangaka is overseeing everything, too. The art is getting an upgrade. The mangaka said that she was very sick when she made Fruits Basket, so according to her, her art was shaky and not up to par. I don't know about that...It was a bit different compared to the anime, though. Should be interesting to see the new art. So far there are only 2 promo posters, and I can't really get a 'feel' from them. I didn't think they'd remake it, and certainly not 18 years later. 

Sent a DNA sample to AncestryDNA. It was spit-based, and I was surprised at how much they wanted. It was gross 'collecting' it. I'll get to see where all of my family came from. Dad did it a few months ago. Should be interesting. It'll take 6-8 weeks.