Showing posts with label Persona. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Persona. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Happy New Year!

First post of 2019! Yay! It's probably going to take me a little while to get used to seeing that. Hopefully, I'll post more often this year. Did much better last year. Close to twice as many posts than the previous one. Also, hope it'll be a good year. 

Went to a couple's place for a party to ring in the new year. They've been family friends for most of my life, and we usually go to their place for Thanksgiving, New Year's, and Passover. Besides my parent and I, there was the 2 hosts, and 1 other person. That person didn't stay for very long. I know most of the guests that go to these, but didn't know her. They usually have a lot more guests, too. The last few times it's either been just us or one other person. Makes me wonder...Although, one of their dogs is not doing too well health-wise. She has something similar to diabetes and has incontinence issues. She's always thirsty. Sad. Both of those big dogs are so nice and friendly. 

We brought rosemary crackers, spreadable Finnish cheese with dill, chocolate covered raisins and cherries, BBQ potato chips, dolmas (stuffed grape leaves), pickled herring, BBQ chicken pieces, raspberry Pim's, and a bottle of sparkling cider. The crackers were pretty good with the cheese. No one touched the chips. That's ok. More for us. Dolmas were gone quickly. Pickled herring is kind of a tradition for us on New Year's Eve. I think half of it was gone by the end. The chicken was good, and only a little was left. We weren't sure if there would be enough cider. They always have it available. That's usually what I have there. Turns out they had more than enough. Not only in the refrigerator, but in the garage, too. I opened ours anyways at some point, and it erupted. Luckily, I was in kitchen when it happened and it seemed like no one was watching. It must have been tossed around in the car. Went through about 2 bottles. Pretty much everyone had some, though. Oh, and my parent brought cava wine. The bottle was rainbow colored. The brand donates some of the proceeds to their local LGBTQ+ groups. They're Swedish. I remember there was a thing about it in the news that it was in response to an anti-LGBTQ+ ad by a vodka company (I think). Pretty cool. Even though I don't drink alcohol (mainly for health reasons), I tried a little. Didn't taste very good to me. Alcohol has always tasted a little weird to me, though. Could be because I'm not used to that taste. I like it in cooking, but the alcohol itself burns off that way. There was a spinach artichoke dip, small slices of bread, peanut M&M's, other types of chips, and pickled green beans as well. 
This is my wallpaper for January. It's One Piece's main logo. It has the Straw Hat's Jolly Roger in the O. A stylized version of Luffy is the i in it. It seems perfect for an anime about pirates. In the wallpaper, they also added the figureheads of both of the Straw Hat's ships. The first one, which is on the lower left, was called Going Merry. She seemed like she had a life of her own. Sadly she ended up breaking down beyond repair. There was a lot of drama between one of the members, Usopp, and Luffy about what to do with her. (Usopp even left the crew briefly.) The 'funeral' for her was one of the most emotional scenes. They sent her off to sea and lit her on fire, all the while the crew was breaking down in tears. She actually spoke and tried to console them as she burned up. It was hard not to tear up. The current one, upper right, is called Thousand Sunny. That one doesn't seem as 'alive', but it's virtually indestructible. Made from some of the toughest trees in their world. It's loaded with weapons, too. One of the members, Franky, who's a shipwright, designed and crafted it along with help from some of the best shipwrights. It's twice as big as Going Merry was. 

The month-long holidays for January are: National Candy Month, National Egg Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Meat Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. A lot of good food ones this time. 

This year, I was able to get a Jewish calendar. For the last few years, there haven't been any left at Barnes & Noble, which is where I usually get my calendars. I thought it wasn't that big of a deal considering I can follow it online, but I do like to see the antique pics in the one I usually get. It's from the Amsterdam Jewish Historical Museum. The main pic is of a tzedakah (basically charity) box that doesn't have a date. The other pic's of a velvet Torah cover from the 1800's. 

Got an elements calendar for the 'regular' one. This month's on strontium. It's a pretty pic of it. They have all sort of info on it. The atomic number, indicates where on the periodic table it is, melting/solid/etc. points, pics of what it's used for, a detailed info section, atomic emission spectrum, state of matter, etc. Fascinating stuff. I took chemistry (both high school and college level), but we didn't really go into too much detail of each element. It was mainly formulas and reactions. So, to get a more in depth look is nice. It was apparently used in bombs, but is usually not radioactive. It's occasionally used as an ingredient in luminous paints. Some of those are radioactive, but again strontium isn't what makes them that way. Strontium pills are thought to be good for your bones. It does react similar to calcium, but it's unclear if it has any affect on bone growth. 

Got a haircut last Friday. It was the longest it had ever been. My last haircut was just 8 months ago. Not much time in between. It was growing really fast. While I wanted long hair, it was getting too difficult to take care of and kept getting stuck in things. Felt like it was swallowing me and had a limited field of vision. It was so much I couldn't even put it up in bun well. It was so long, the hairstylist had to cut off some of it in order to just wash it. It was quite something to see it all on the floor at the end. It's now roughly half as long. Much more manageable, I can see more around me, it's more out of my face, people can see my face, doesn't fall into my food, don't have to hold onto it in order to eat, and so much more. Looked even better after I washed and styled it for the first time. It's still rather long, so I get somewhat of a similar feel. 

Got my DNA test results back from AncestryDNA. That's been interesting. I'm 51% Ashkenazi (Jews who came from Germany and out to eastern Europe), 29% Celtic (particularly from Scotland), 14% from England, Wales, and 'Northwestern Europe' (that's not very descriptive), 4% from France, and 2% from Sweden. I had no idea about the last 2. This means my mom was 100% Ashkenazi. There are some diseases that only they have or are more likely to have than the rest of the population. That worries me a bit. I didn't realize how concentrated that side was. At least, people can't dispute that I'm Jewish, I guess. They split that side into 2 groups: Western and Central Europe, and Central and Eastern Europe. There's some overlap with them, and I'm not sure why they split them. It was interesting to see the ethnic map.

They also have a history section where you can see where they started on the timeline, and where they immigrated. That timeline goes from 1725 to 1950. They only show the 2 Ashkenazi groups and Scottish part for it. They have dots of where they lived at the time. It's detailed enough to see the cities they were in. Some dots are huge, and that's where they're more concentrated. None of the Ash. groups have info until the 1800-1825 section, and that's with the C/E Europe one. The other group doesn't show up until the 1825-1850 one. I was surprised by where the Ash. groups were from. Sure, I knew about Germany, Romania, Belarus, and Russia; but none of the others. There were surprisingly huge dots in Poland, Lithuania, and Ukraine. The Scottish one wasn't as surprising, but interesting. They immigrated to Australia, Canada (particularly Nova Scotia), and the US pretty early.

Apparently, my family came from/immigrated to 26 countries and a territory. Here's the list: Germany, The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Moldova, Romania, Lithuania, Latvia, Ukraine, Scotland, Ireland, England, Wales, France, Sweden, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Canada, US, Australia, New Zealand, Slovakia, Hungary, Austria, Czech Republic, Isle of Man. I'm kind of tempted to look into learning more about these places. Like, what's the culture like for Jews in some of them, about the cultures around them, trying foods from them, maybe learning some of their languages, about the Celtic parts as well, music of these areas, and more. That's a little overwhelming. I do have some knowledge of these places, but it didn't seem as personal in the past. Plus, if I ever go on that dream trip in the future where I visit all the countries my family's from, it's going to be a much longer trip than I thought. I could break it up, though.

For an extra $10, they give you results of 18 genetic traits. I did that not too long ago. Most of it was spot on. They thought I had a cleft chin. I don't. They were correct about finger length. My ring finger is slightly longer than my pointer. The hair type one was really laughable. It said I had naturally straight hair. Nope. Very curly. Most of my family has curly/wavy hair, so I'm not sure where this came from. They were right about hair thickness, though. It said thicker-than-average. The iris pattern part was interesting. I know I used to have flecks of gold in it, but can't see it too well now. They said I have rings. Maybe I'll look at them in better light at some point. For skin pigment, they said light to medium skin tone. I have a very light skin tone. Although, parts of me are slightly yellow/olive like. Interesting. The only food sensitivity (of the traits they tested) I have is to sweets. Makes sense. Sweet food has always been really intense to me. Most of the time I can only handle so much of it. If I plan to eat a lot of it (like if I'm at potluck/buffet, and a lot is probably different to me than others), I have to eat it slowly. It's not just the first bite that's intense, it's pretty much every bite. I've actually ended up with some enlarged taste buds after eating 'too much' sweets. Despite this, I do love sweet food. I think I have other sensitivities like that, but they didn't really test for many.

I'm going to try and go on social media less. Most of the week, only checking for notifications, and posting personal stuff (food I eat or other pics to Instagram and dA, personal statuses, sharing posts from here, etc.). Then setting a time during the weekend, or if I'm at somewhere like a restaurant waiting for food, to 'catch up'. However, making sure to not do it for too long. I tried this several months ago. It worked for a little while. Felt a lot better. The problem with this is I end up feeling like I'm missing out on too many things. Things like news in general, friends' stuff, and fun things. So, we'll see how that goes.

Finished watching Persona. It was pretty good. Seemed more real. Cases took weeks at least. Although, I felt like they added a soap opera-feel with some of the drama that popped up. I hate that they left such a cliffhanger at the end. Apparently, there is another season, but it's not on Netflix. Don't know if they'll get it. At least it wasn't as bad of a cliffhanger as Anjaan (an Indian supernatural detective show) I saw on there. That was one of the worst. Although, I just looked at Netflix, and they apparently added a lot more 'new' episodes. (About 50 more. They only had about 15 before.) Yay! At least I know there's more on there. I might watch Gab-Dong next. It's a Korean detective show.

Finished all of D.Gray-man. That includes the more recent Hallow sequel. I think some of the character designs in Hallow were awful or too 'different'. I read that those designs were more faithful to the manga, but it still didn't seem right. Lenalee seemed to be the worst. Her personality changed almost completely, too. Miranda looked odd to me, although she seemed more 'normal'. (Looked like a raccoon before.) Their eyes were 'shinier', too. A bit distracting. I do like that they didn't censor the blood in this one. In the first series, the demons exploded instead of bled. It ended at a weird time. Seemed like a pretty big cliffhanger, as well. Besides that, it seemed decent. I like how many complex layers Allen Walker had. He cares about both humans and demons, despite being an exorcist. He's part demon, too. His past from a very young age was traumatic. He even had a mental breakdown when he was little, after the man who took care of him, a clown named Mana, became a demon. He killed that demon himself. (If I remember correctly.) His 'innocence' (or weapon, to simplify it) activated on its own, and he didn't want to kill him. His personality changed after that. His hair changed, too. In Hallow, he ends up trying to get more in touch with who he really is. We all thought Kanda died, but he suddenly showed up at the end like nothing. Makes me curious about continuing the story in the manga.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

4th of Tevet

Hanukkah started the night of the 2nd and ended on the 10th. I used one of the biggest menorahs that we had. We have quite a collection. This one was free, since my mom worked at a Judaica shop, parts of it are bent, and it leans to one side. They couldn't sell it like that. It's hard to light towards the end, because some of the cups bend inwards toward the shamesh. The shamesh candle/cup rests above the others. You're supposed to light the others with that candle. Made it difficult to put it back in its cup. It only uses Shabbos candles, which are thicker and bigger than the Hanukkah ones. It makes quite a statement. I think people can see this one the best from outside, and we're supposed to be public about it. 

Found frozen latkes from Trader Joe's and had them on the 1st night. They also had huge bags of gelt. Gelt are chocolate coins. A long time ago it used to be real coins that students would give to teachers as a way to honor them. Anyways, their bags were much bigger than our local market's. World Market had even bigger ones with more of a variety. Had sufganiyot (jelly donuts) on the 1st and 6th (I think) night. So, I did get to enjoy some good Hanukkah food.
This is my wallpaper for December. It's Bakugo from Boku no (My) Hero Academia. Thought it was perfect for this time of year. I like the warm glow. Since I have my taskbar and start menu set to picking colors from the background, it changed to warm crimson with slightly different shades of warm orange highlights. Makes it pretty when put together. I found a lot of new wallpapers, including this one, yesterday. I wanted more of a variety (based on more shows), and most of the ones from before are in black and white. I wanted more color. 

There's only one interesting month-long holiday for December: National Pear Month. I love pears! However, now I can only have them peeled, chopped up, and cooked. They're too tough on my system otherwise. 

It's been a while since my last post. Hopefully, I can get back to posting more regularly. It's great that I've already posted more this year than the past few years on here. I've been sick off and on, which is partially why it's been a while. (I don't feel motivated to do much when I'm sick.)

I finally made an appointment to see my primary next Monday. I don't think I'm going to come out to her as agender, because it'll most likely be the last time I see her, and don't really want to deal with her much. I have to see her in order to get refills for lamotrigine. She tells me that she can't refill it unless I see her once a year about it. My previous doctors said differently, but maybe the system has changed. She might think my parent influenced me or the meds affected me, if I come out to her. I've also been in a lot of pain and more symptoms (related to colitis) have popped up. Last time I talked to her, she seemed utterly fed up and frustrated with my case. I'm sorry I have so much to deal with...She'll most likely run blood tests to see how lamotrigine is affecting my liver (I think, either that or kidneys) and a general panel. I can see how things are in general without mentioning any of the health issues I've been having that way. 

I'm thinking of calling the Gender Health Program number soon. I wanted to have my primary appointment first. I might email my parent's previous case worker on it, too. Just to ask her questions about it before I take the plunge. 

When I do finally start it, I'm going to first want to see a new primary. One that's been trained with gender issues. They can set me up with one. I also want that new primary to refer me to gastroenterology again to get a new GI. One with an MD. My current one actually told me that she's not equipped to deal with my case. Her hands are tied. (She's a PA.) I've only had one GI with an MD. That's not much. I also want to see a gender therapist. Apparently, my insurance's program will cover pretty much everything. I was surprised that they'd cover electrolysis. It's expensive otherwise. It's a big possibility for me now. 

Since I've had issues with awful life-threatening monthly 'friends' in the past (it's more complicated than that), and other issues, I most likely am sterile. I've been iffy about having my own kid for a while. Occasionally, it's been tempting, but at other times I'm completely turned off from it. Pregnancy and childbirth are incredibly gendered, so the process would most likely cause a lot of dysphoria. If I'm not sterile, it could kill me. If I do want kids in the future, I could adopt. Anyways, I'm thinking of getting a hysterectomy and oophorectomy. Not only because of the issues they give me, but it'll help with my dysphoria. I don't care if I'd have to take hormones for the rest of my life to make up for what's lost. People might try to talk me out of it because of how 'young' I am. I've always looked much younger than I am. I think I brought this sort of thing up after having an 8-month long 'friend' roughly a decade ago. My doctor was against it, and thought I'd change my mind eventually. Might be why I ended up becoming hesitant about it. I don't know. With those things out, I won't have to have another IUD implanted. Another positive. That program covers top surgery, too. So, yay! Another thing. After all this, I'd probably look very different. Probably happier, too. 

A couple of days ago, I decided to change my sleeping 'schedule' a little. Before, I had a set time to get up during the week. Now, I've decided that whenever I start to get ready for bed, I set my alarm for 9 hours later. 1/2 hour for getting ready, and 8 1/2 for being in bed. However, I tend to toss and turn at least for another 1/2 hour. It's more like I'm shooting for 8 hours of sleep. I haven't had a full night's sleep for a couple of years now. It's really difficult with the pain, and oddly being so fatigued. The eye mask and earplugs help a lot, though. Hopefully, no matter when I go to sleep, having the same set amount of time will help. This also means getting up at different times, but I think this would be more natural. It might be easier on my body. I'll probably do this during the weekends, too. 

Lately, despite feeling happy and excited to try so many different foods, I've occasionally felt tired of eating. Like the act itself. I've felt like this in the past, and have a hard time feeling any hunger during it. It's related to my colitis. Makes it a little difficult. I absolutely love food, so it can be frustrating, too. I tend to not pay attention to time between meals when I'm like this. I need to have 5 small meals daily. The daily range I set for myself is 1200-1600 calories, except on the weekends where I allow myself to eat however much I want. (Usually more calories.) If I forget times, I might skip meals. Sometimes I don't try to make up for a skipped meal, which means I go below my min amount of calories for a day. So a couple of days ago, I decided to set a timer after I start a meal for 3 hours. This way things are more set, I know when to start making/eating a meal, and I make sure to have it. The difficult part sometimes is getting myself to eat it. Smells great and might look amazing, but I still might have a hard time. This will help, though.

Found a lot of stuff at World Market recently. They have a pancake mix line with a variety of flavors. I've thought about trying them in the past. They're normally inexpensive, but this time they were about 50% off. Got the banana caramel one. It's amazing! I thought it'd call for milk and/or eggs, but it just had you add water and melted butter or vegetable oil. (I've been using the oil for them.) One serving is rather satisfying and easy to figure out the measurements for the water and oil. The directions apparently have you make 3 servings. The texture is nice, too. It's crispy. It has the same amount of sugar as my cereal, which isn't much. Despite having little caramel chips and banana mixed throughout. They don't even need syrup. They have a ton of calcium and some protein. Seem pretty healthy. I'm going to make them about half the time for my breakfasts until I finish the canister. I want to try the other flavors, too. 

Finished watching the Sniffer on Netflix. It was surprisingly good. Hope there's a 4th season. I liked that at the end of the finale Victor hugged the Sniffer tightly. (Not really a spoiler.) The Sniffer usually doesn't like hugs, and even handshakes can be odd for him. He hugged back. I think they both needed that emotionally (they went through hell that episode), and it was a friendly gesture. I almost feel like they could be in a qpr, since they're such close friends. The main theme song had a cool vibe. Went back to Persona, which is a Malaysian detective show. It's in Mandarin, but there's quite a bit of English sprinkled throughout.

Youtube (It's been a while, so I'm sharing a little more this time):

Boku no (My) Hero Academia:


Gintama:


Rurouni Kenshin:

Kekkai Sensen (Blood Blockade Battlefront):

Mix:


Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler):

Zombieland Saga:

One Piece: