7th of Tevet

I’m still waiting for Social Security’s decision on my SSI. I think they’re giving me until January 11th, but I think they might have finally made their decision before that. I sent papers to them like they asked me to. They suggested I hand the envelope to them at the office or mail it. Mailing it was easier for me. I’m not sure why it’s taking so long, since I sent it a while ago. I hope it gets to them, and they decide to approve me. If not, we’ll have to appeal it. I did recently get another notification that they still consider me categorically needy for health care stuff. That’s something. I think that’s the state, not on the federal level? I called them a couple of times. Each time I would be put on hold for over 2 hours. Too long for me. I don’t think they’d be able to help me either. If they didn’t get the papers, that’s not my fault. Where did it go, if they didn’t get it? It got me so worried at one point, I couldn’t sleep well. Now, realizing I can’t do anything more and they should have gotten it, oddly makes me feel a little better.

I called Access Bus for another ride. This time to my oncology appointment coming up on Thursday. That went smoothly. Except I forgot who I’m seeing. It’s someone who I haven’t met before. I don’t know what happened to Dr. Nik.

Had my CT scan last Thursday morning. I usually get both that and a full bone scan done in Tacoma. This was just the CT scan part and it was at KP’s Silverdale clinic. Much closer. I had to get up a little earlier than usual. (It’s bad enough I usually have to get up early to take a pill.) They told me not to eat 4 hours beforehand. They were going to do some bloodwork, but looked over my info again and apparently they didn’t have to. They wanted me there an hour early so I could drink the contrast before it. They didn’t tell me to take my clothes off this time. I just had to push my jeans down a little. I was really worried they wouldn’t be able to get an IV in. It was a big ordeal last time I had it done there. This time he got it in right away. He said I had rock hard veins, but it looked like a few good ones. I had a hard time breathing during it. We thought my arms would be up enough so they wouldn’t hit the machine, they did anyway. It wasn’t too bad this time.

The results were pretty good. Only thing that showed up were gallstones. No mention of lung nodules,  atelectasis (partial lung collapse), or fatty liver disease. Maybe my walks have helped?   

I was really hungry afterwards. I thought about going to the Oak Table. The parking lot was way too crowded, and it looked like we would have to wait a long time. So, we decided to go to Green Light Diner instead. I got their smoked salmon eggs Benedict without scallions and with hash browns. I was thinking of getting the Oak Table version, so why not try theirs? The eggs seemed almost hard-boiled instead of poached. They have herbed cream cheese along with their hollandaise sauce. There were capers, too. The salmon seemed thicker and there was more of it. It was pretty good all together. The hash browns needed just a little more salt. I ate the whole thing. I was that hungry.

Oncology called me yesterday and left a voicemail. They wanted me to get some lab work done before my appointment this Thursday. So, I had a blood draw yesterday for it. I knew I needed it soon, because it’s been a while. It went well. In fact, they said I had a beautiful vein. I got 2 results back yesterday. My alk phos was high, and my platelet count was high. That’s not normal for me. Makes me wonder what that actually means. Google is a bit scary when I searched for it on there. My cancer marker (which I got today) is the lowest it’s ever been. (Since they have kept track of it.) I think that’s a good thing.

It’s a new month today with my walking plan. My new outside walk is walking out of the neighborhood, to the Mormon church, through the greenbelt, next to the tennis courts and back. I plan to do inside walks occasionally too. Like when it’s too rainy out there. I decided to do 40 minutes inside today. When I know how long the new outside route will be, I can change it. If I had gone out today, the sun would have been in my eyes. I did 137 rounds inside. That’s a lot. Apparently, just over a mile.

I plan to start cooking again. I haven’t done it in a long time. A lot of the recipes I see on Pinterest look great. It’d be nice to try them. A lot of them have either cheese in it, or you can add it as like a garnish at the end. Some are truly without cheese. However, I think it’ll be fun to cook with it. Some of the recipes might last me most of the week. So, that’s also a positive. Maybe I'll do it for Saturday dinners? That sounds like a good time.

I did 6 Spanish lessons on Duolingo today. I usually do 3. I only missed one sentence. I flagged it because I think mine was just another way to do it. They have interacted with me in the past when I flag them. They say things like they added another option putting mine into it, too. I finished all 3 quests. One of the quests wanted me to finish 5 lessons, so that’s partially why I did that. After the 5th one, I got another xp multiplier, so had to use it. I might try to do more than the 3 I usually do. I also got to 2 stories. One they’ve done before and the other seemed new. I don’t like when they repeat. When I was done today, I was 4th in the league. Not sure if I’m still at that spot now.

Rosie’s been using the box often. Sometimes she misses and it ends up on the puppy pads, but she was doing really well for a few days. (Those days doing nothing on the puppy pads.) The happy pills might be helping her. Today, she’s made it in the box most of the time, and a little on the pads.

Had a nice New Year’s Eve at home. We got some snacks for it. Got pickled herring, a cheese ball (thought it would be interesting to try), plain Ruffles chips with French onion dip, dolmas, olives, smoked salmon spread, chocolate covered malt balls, chocolate covered cherries, little slices of rye bread (for things like fish, cheese, etc.), the Hanukkah truffles, and I think that’s it. It was nice. We saw the celebrations from around the world. I fell asleep at some point. We watched the local fireworks too. Had sparkling apple cider to ring in the new year. Kind of like our champagne. Since I don’t drink alcohol. Still trying to eat everything we got, and have the 2nd bottle of sparkling apple cider. Nice to keep it going. 

Pinterest (I did not make these. Just sharing):

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15th of Tevet

It's been a long time since my last post. Probably the longest gap in posts. I hope to get back into it. Although, it won't be the same. Interesting using this computer again. 

My last scans were in October. Everything came back fine. No progression, and if I remember correctly, they didn't even see the lung nodule from before. My next ones (CT and full bone) will be next month. I had to call and make an appointment with the infusion center there in order to get the IV in through ultrasound. It seems to be the only way to get it in. They always have a hard time even with that. I'm nervous that they'll find something this time on my CT scan. Had a nightmare where they said the cancer had spread to my liver and lungs. Also, with the full bone scan, that it had progressed. It hasn't progressed in a while. In the dream I had to switch to a chemo that was through an IV. I had to sit there for about 6 hours until it was done. I had weird side effects, too. 

Had an appointment with my primary care doctor in October. Hadn't seen her in-person in about 2 years. The main focus was on recertifying me for insurances through my parent. I'm on her plan as a dependent. They have paperwork for a doctor to fill out. I was nervous, but around the end of December, I got a letter saying I was approved. So, I still get health, dental, and vision through it. The new plan for coverage started this month. The only downside is now there's a copay for all my meds and things. We had met the deductible or something, so we didn't have a copay for a while. I'll probably meet it up again quickly. It's nice they have a special card that covers medical expenses. Although, it's sometimes weird what it considers as medical. It's handy. 

We also talked about my urine incontinence. I know, gross, but it's something I have to live with at the moment. I'll get the urge, and then not have much time to get to a bathroom. It's embarrassing. She suggested that I get pads. I'm still trying them out. Not sure which absorbency is best. I think it feels more 'normal' to try the pads rather than the underwear. Those would feel more like diapers. Not good. She also said I should try going to the bathroom on a schedule. So, I've been trying to do it either before or after meals. It's a little better that way, but I have to remember. 

I also brought up my painful toes/feet. She said I had toenail fungus on every toe except one. It's bad in both my big toes. She tried to clip my toenails for me. She didn't even want to touch my big toes. The toenails are looking pretty gnarly now. My toes hurt a lot as well as the middle of my feet. So much so, it hurts to walk. Feels like I'm walking on hard pointy rocks. I'm walking even less now because of it. My primary sent a referral to see a podiatrist, and I've already made an appointment. That will be the end of this month. Hopefully, they can help me. 

I've been having issues with recurring uti's. The last one was just a couple of weeks ago. I also had one that was in between that and my primary appointment in October. They seem to be happening more often. I went to Urgent Care, like usual, for it. This time they were a lot more thorough. They were surprised about how dehydrated I was. They put an IV in me, after a few tries, and ran fluids and antibiotics through it. They did a lot of blood tests. One of them being for lactate. They had to get it without a tourniquet. It can indicate sepsis. I was high the first time, so they had to do it again. The second time they had to do it on my chest near my left shoulder. That was weird. No other spot was working, though. That ended up even higher. They wanted to do it again because of that. It was just too much, and it was starting to snow a lot. We had to leave. They let me go with a pill-form of antibiotics, and a promise that I'll talk to my primary about it. I don't think I actually had sepsis. I didn't have a fever for one thing.

I had a phone appointment with my primary after that. She suggested some things to help. I thought there were 2 things that I could easily do. That being cranberry and d-mannose supplements. One is supposed to make it harder for bacteria to stick, and one makes it more acidic. Both said helps with cleaning the area. So I got them both. They're huge pills. I had to split the doses up. They wanted me to take 2 capsules of the cranberry and 4 capsules of the d-mannose. I'm doing 1 cranberry and 2 d-mannose twice a day. The d-mannose pills smell really bad. I didn't know they'd also have calories. It's also interesting that they're both put out by Azo. I didn't know they did other meds. So far so good. I don't think I've had another uti. Maybe this is all I need. Although, I have a lot of pills now. I could make meals out of them.

My meds and pain of walking have made me gain quite a bit of weight. It's frustrating. Recently, I decided to go back to the way I used to eat, and doing sit-ups at least. I think I've lost a little bit in the last couple of weeks because of that. The way I used to eat meaning only having 1200-1600 calories during the week, and pretty much whatever I want during the weekend (and holidays). I try to eat 5 meals a day, and want them roughly even. So, 240-320 calories each. I tend to eat less with snacks, and more with meals like dinner. It's a little difficult. It was a bit eye-opening with some things. Plus, I have to be careful with things like bananas that tend to be calorie-packed. I'm up to 10 sit-ups twice a day. Might keep that up for a while, and then do 15 twice a day. I do them a little after I wake up (after going to the bathroom and having breakfast), and when I get into bed just before trying to sleep. I did around similar times the last time I was into it. It's been a while. I also want to get back into walking, but it hurts so much. Maybe with the podiatrist's help I can do it. I want to start off with small walks, and then work my way up to the 2-mile ones I was doing before. At least 2 of those a day would be great. I might get an Apple Watch soon, and that can help a lot with this health stuff. I want to feel better and healthier. 

We've also been into eating out at restaurants lately. I can still do that with the way I want to eat, and probably would be best to do it during the weekends. I'll most likely have more leftovers, but that's ok. We've tried a lot of new ones. Some have been great, others just ok. It's another thing for me to look forward to. (We've also been going to restaurants we haven't been to in a long time.) Oh, Elmer's isn't around anymore. A Denny's moved in. I'm still not used to it. I miss Elmer's. One of the server's from Elmer's is now with Maynard's, a restaurant we tried not too long ago. It was interesting catching up with him. I was surprised he was there. It was ok there. The last 'new' restaurant, or at least new to us, we went to was a Mongolian BBQ place. It wasn't outstanding or anything. I thought it was good. I had the chicken dumplings, which were apparently pot stickers. I got their honey walnut chicken. That was sweet, savory, and smooth. Had little candied walnuts. 

I'm still using Duolingo. I'm studying Spanish through it. It seems so much easier than I expected when I started. I don't particularly like Duolingo's new layout. I don't even think they're sure of it yet. Things keep changing. I liked the way it was before. I've been keeping up with my streak since I did Yiddish. It's like 640 days now. I only forgot about it on New Year's Eve, and they used one of my freeze streaks to keep it going. First time really using that. I think I have like 3 of them. I think that's the max number you can have at once. I try to do 4 lessons, and usually get 100% on it. It's only when it's questionable or unclear when I get them wrong. I've flagged quite a few sentences during this course, because of that. 

I've gotten back into reading as well. You can see how many I finished recently on the side of the blog. Everything from Shadow of the Lions by Christopher Swann up is what I've read since December of 2021. Close to a year ago. That's 16 books. I thought that was pretty good for someone who hasn't been into reading in a long time. 

I'm trying to get back into anime. I started that back up again only a couple of days ago. Before that, it's been since November 2021. Roughly the same time as my last post on here. I'm so far behind. There are so many interesting looking shows that came out in the meantime. I'm not sure how long I can keep up getting back into watching anime now. As it is I might not watch it today. I managed to watch the 1000th episode of One Piece yesterday, I think. I can't believe it's over 1000 episodes now. It'll probably go on forever. 

I've been a lot more into Netflix shows. I've watched a lot, and it's another thing for me to look forward to. I finished 1899 recently. That was interesting. It felt like they were trying to do more with it than they had. Some of it was predictable, but there were a lot of twists. I'm not sure what they'll do with it if there's a 2nd season. I'm currently watching Devil in Ohio. It's just been ok. It has an actress that I like, and am glad she's in something different. I don't remember her first name, but she played the main actress in Bones. She seems more flexible and 'normal' in this. I don't exactly know where this show is going, but it's interesting at least. I'm looking more forward to Wednesday. I liked the Addams Family. Wednesday, Morticia, and Gomez were my fave characters. One on Wednesday seems right up my alley, then.

We've recently been into getting lottery tickets. We've been getting them usually once a week. It's now up to $1.1 billion. I can't imagine even having half of that amount. I've worked out the annuity for some of them, just for fun. (First year would be just over $8 million.) I think if we did win, I'd get half and go for the annuity option. I'll probably not live very long, but I'd still get a huge chunk of money every year. I could pass it on to someone after I die. I don't know who that would be. There's a lot of things I'd be able to do with that amount of money. I could donate a lot, get rid of my student loan debt, get my own nice and cozy house in Seattle, have even better health insurance, and more. 

I wanted to go to a Hanukkah party this year. They were going to have public lighting at a local mall, and then have a party at their synagogue. I hadn't seen people from that congregation in a long time. Plus, their spiritual leader (not quite a rabbi yet) got in touch with me, and wanted me to meet another ace Jew. He was new to their congregation and was feeling really isolated. The 'rabbi' started an email with both of us and introduced us to each other. I responded, but he never did. Anyways, I had another reason to go. The weather was crazy that week. The day they were supposed to have it, there was a lot of snow and ice on top of the snow. Thick ice. Not something we see in this region often. So dangerous, they were telling people not to go outside on the roads unless it was an emergency. They cancelled the party at the synagogue, and thought the roads would still be ok enough for the public lighting. I don't how the lighting was. I wished they just pushed the party to like the last day of Hanukkah. The snow and ice were practically gone by then. They were going to have latkes, donuts, singing, and bags of goodies. I don't know what the bags of goodies would have had, but I'm sure it would have been fun. We didn't have latkes this year. Didn't even have donuts for that matter. I didn't feel very well, and only lit the candles for a few nights off and on. I know it's not a big holiday, but it didn't feel like the usual year for it. I did have some fried things at least. 

It was just my parent and I for our New Year Eve celebration. We used to go to a couple's (friends of the family) place for it. Along with other holiday dinners throughout the year. Ever since Covid hit, they stopped having those dinners. It's felt weird with just us. At least with NYE, we can have whatever snacks we want for it. I got Ruffles chips with French onion dip, pickled herring with Breton crackers, and chocolate covered cherries. I think those are pretty good for NYE. Oh, and of course we got sparkling apple cider. That's like my champagne. I can't have alcohol. At least it's something bubbly. We watched the fireworks at the Space Needle on TV. Before that, it was NYE shows from around the world/country. The fireworks didn't seem that impressive this time. The drones were interesting, but also distracting. 

27th of Cheshvan

It’s been a long time since my last post. I hardly ever go on my computer, and I could only blog through that before. It looks like Blogger now supports smartphones. I don’t think they have an app still, but I’m using Chrome for it. We’ll see how this goes. If it works out well, I can try to get into blogging again. Yay! I’ve been posting a lot about my health stuff on facebook. It’s kind of turned into a health blog that way. I also updated some of the lists on here. It was a little more difficult to do than on my computer, because of the order I put things in. For instance, I like to have the most recent show I finished at the top in my Netflix list. It likes to put the most recent entry at the bottom. Takes a little more time. Oh well. 

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but I had tried out the Celebrate States monthly subscription for a while. That was kind of fun. Each month they send you stuff from a certain state. Each state’s a mystery until close to that month. They reveal it kind of early on facebook, but if you’re not following that, you don’t know. With each state they featured I tried to ‘virtually’ visit it. I’m a little behind on that, but it’s fun. I’m going through Texas right now. 

Anyways, they sometimes sent things like brochures/magazines, coloring pages with the state flag/flower/etc., and a map of what it produces and the counties. Interesting stuff. For my ‘visits’ I used those brochures/magazines and Atlas Obscura online. Now, it’s mainly Atlas Obscura. They have interesting places. 

Since I filled out a questionnaire saying I have cats, they would send a cat toy occasionally. That was nice. Some of the items were interesting. I got candles and soaps often. My parent thought the Syracuse black garlic salt was a good find, and might get more of that. I liked some of the tea it had. I don’t regret trying it out, however it started losing it’s value for me with the last few boxes. Seemed like we weren’t getting as much, items weren’t as good, and they stopped putting cat toys in it. The coloring pages were too kid-like, too. 

So, I decided to stop getting it yesterday. Apparently, they’re sending me one more box. It’ll be this month’s Thanksgiving themed one. I think it’ll be Pennsylvania. I don’t exactly know, but I thought I saw something on it. I don’t know why I’d be getting one more box. It’s not like I double ordered or something. I suppose it’s not bad. 

I decided to order another states thing called 50 States of Mine. There was only the premium box option. It’s only a little under $7 more than the Celebrate States one. Not that much of a difference. It’s more food based, no ‘kid’ things, usually has 8 or 9 items (which is more than CS had), has things that are related to what the state’s known for, and just seems better. This is based off of watching youtube vids on it and reviews. If I don’t like it, or the value isn’t really worth it, I can always try something else. There’s an Irish box I could try or others. Apparently, the box for this month is Kentucky. So fitting. It’s my birth month and that’s the state I was born in. Seems like it was destined for me to try. We’ll see. 

I’m still getting the Treats monthly subscription box. I like it a lot. It’s fun to see what they have for each country. Again, it features a different country’s snacks every month. October’s was Croatia and Serbia. First time they had 2 countries. It seemed like they were pretty evenly split with where each snack came from. The oddest one to me, seemed oddly one of my faves. It’s called Smoki, and it’s peanut flavored cornmeal pieces. They described them as shaped like peanuts. They looked more like cashews. They used real peanuts in it. It had a strong peanut and salty flavor. Interesting. If I didn’t like peanuts it would have been nasty. The worst tasting of the box sounded like it’d be good. It was sandwich cookies with chocolate in the middle. I don’t know how they messed that up, but I almost threw up trying it. The chestnut chocolate bar was strong, but pretty good. I haven’t had chestnuts that often. The only other time I think I’ve tried them was someone I know makes a stuffing with them. I hate it in that. Maybe it’s the way they make it? I don’t know. 

There was a time where my pain got much worse. I had to be readmitted into palliative care to get it back under control. It seems my body had grown more tolerant to the morphine. I was trying to sleep back in my old bed. I didn’t know if they were going to take the hospital bed because I was out of the program for a little while. My pain increased while I did that in my back, pelvis, and neck. The neck was new, so they were worried about that. So it was a combo of my meds and sleeping in a different bed. Turns out they weren’t going to take the hospital bed, so I went back to it. The pain was slightly better with that. We ended up increasing my dose of morphine by quite a lot. So much, apparently my pc doctor was worried I could overdose and ordered Narcan for me. My parent would have to use it to revive me. That doctor ordered it after they exited me from palliative care again. That was odd. Didn’t tell me about it, until I pressured them about it. It seems I’m stuck with sleeping in the hospital bed. It’s in the family room, which is an odd place to sleep. At least my pain is better. 

I recently had a CT scan, full bone scan, and neck MRI. The neck one was because of that new pain. Everything was stable. Been stable for a while. It’s not exactly the best, because there’s no improvement. It’s not getting better. Just the same. We’re trying to get it to NED or No Evidence of Disease. I might feel better if there was some sort of improvement. I wanted a second opinion from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. I was told to wait for them to call me. They never did. There’s got to be something more to try. I just feel like I’m constantly waiting for the next tests, and just keep taking my oral chemo. There’s got to be a trial or something more I can do. 

I started xgeva several months ago. Last month was my 3rd dose of it. It’s supposed to strengthen my bones. Most people with bone mets need something like this. It’s a shot instead of infusion. It really hurts as it goes in. I get it in the back of my left upper arm. The nurse likes to go super slow with it, so it draws out the pain. She thinks it minimizes the pain. It doesn’t. It’s so much fluid, my arm gets sloshy. Hard to describe. I haven’t really had side effects, other then the pain at the injection site. It might have affected my dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), but we’re not sure. If it did, it’s a rare thing. 

About a month ago, Tasha, one of our cats, passed away. I know she was around 17 years old, but this was sudden. She literally just collapsed and was gone. She was asking to be put up on the banister to get to her food and water bowls, and seemed so happy. I looked away for a sec and was getting ready to pick her up, when she suddenly collapsed. She made a howling sound. We weren’t sure if she was gone and took her to the emergency vet clinic. They came back and told us she was already gone. It was hard and I miss her. We have her ashes in a nice looking box urn now. I think Rosie, our other cat, still looks for her sometimes. They did not like each other, but I think Rosie just wanted to play with her most of the time. Now it’s just Rosie. I think she likes being the only one now. 

My birthday’s coming up on November 7th. We got Rosie from the shelter around my birthday, so it’s kind of like hers, too. She got a birthday card from Chewy. That was nice. Chewy’s where we get her insulin from. Maybe she’d like a tuna cake or something. I’m not sure about what I want. We’re going to the Oak Table for brunch. That’s a nice place. I’d like to go somewhere for dinner, but I’m not sure where. I don’t know what I want to do for my birthday, but feel like I should do something. Maybe go to some sort of museum? I feel like each birthday’s even more important now, since I have stage 4 cancer. It gives a different perspective on birthdays. My parent keeps telling me to not postpone the fun. I’m trying to have as much fun as I can, but sometimes I don’t know what to do. 

I finished the Yiddish course through Duolingo. That was interesting. I tried their Hebrew one again, and it was awful. I’m doing their French one now. It’s much better and fleshed out, of course. They have stories and a podcast on top of the course. Much more developed. Lots of speaking exercises, which is what the other courses need. I took all the French classes that were available in high school. I still remember a lot. It’s kind of a weird language. I almost took a proficiency test back then that could have given me college credits and a trip to Paris if I passed. My teacher was encouraging me to take it, but I was too scared of it. I should have tried it. I always had good grades in it. I have a just over 200-day streak now on there. Longest I’ve ever had. Should be interesting to see how long I can keep it up. 

I’ve been getting buzzcuts for about a year now. Ever since my hairstylist heard about my cancer, she hasn’t charged me for it. She feels like it’s something she can do for me. It’s nice, but it still feels odd. Last time my hair grew much faster than usual. There was a lot. Having a buzzcut is so much easier to manage. I don’t even have to brush it. It’s nice. 

We got a freezer a few months ago. That’s been really handy. I’ve gotten things like blueberry pancakes, bean/rice/cheese burritos, carne asada burritos (from Trader Joe’s, and one of the best), teriyaki rice bowls, chicken melts with pita, and more. Good stuff for throughout the day. A variety of new things to try. It has made it easier to keep track of my calories and other nutrients. I don’t get as many dinners from the local markets as I did before, which is good. Those are like made for 2 people, but look like single servings, so it’s hard.