19th of Adar

Had a fun weekend. Went to a new place called McCloud’s for dinner on Friday. Their menu is huge! There were so many good sounding desserts on their specials menu. We shared fried pickle fries. They come with ranch. They were kind of in a nifty shape. I thought they were pretty good. I got their bbq combo. I chose the brisket, mashed potatoes, and potato salad. It comes with cornbread. The brisket was very fatty, but the rest of it was decent. The sauce was interesting. The mashed potatoes didn’t look very normal. It needed more salt. The potato salad was just ok. Cornbread was just ok. I ate close to half of everything, and had the rest (including pickle fries) for lunch on Sunday. The mashed potatoes were much better after I added a lot more salt at home. Maybe the rest of their entrees/sides will be better. I had their toffee caramel bundt cake. It was amazing! I ended up eating it all.

We went to Burger King on Saturday for lunch. Been a while since I had been there. I got a whopper with cheese without onions with onion rings and a vanilla cream soda. It was great!

After that, we got pedicures. I decided to get those instead of going to the podiatrist just to get my toenails clipped. I got the same ‘package’ as my parent. The signature one. They do a few different massages in addition to the actual pedicure part. They also add in putting on nail polish. I didn’t want the nail polish. I wasn’t sure if it would make my toenails worse. They almost didn’t understand that I didn’t want it. They don’t know very much English. I think I might have it next time. Something sparkly. I guess it’s ok to try and see what it does. They didn’t trim my nails much. That was my main thing. Next time I’ll ask them to trim them shorter. Hopefully they’ll be able to trim both my big toes’ nails. They’re the weird looking ones. They were still pretty short this time, so it was understandable that they didn’t do much with them. The skin on my legs and feet still feels really soft from all that stuff they did. I think I’ll get their basic thing next time. That still has a couple of massages. (And they still apply lotion and such.) Nail polish is included in it, too. I had worn my slippers so I can easily slip in and out of them. They tried helping me put them on afterwards. They were really nice.

We went home so I could get my socks and shoes on. My feet/legs felt naked and cold on the way home. We went to Starbucks for a snack after that. I got an iced lavender cream oatmilk matcha latte and coffee cake. The latte was new, and it had kind of a fun taste. The coffee cake was good, but very crumbly.

Went to my haircut appointment at 4:30pm. My stylist and the receptionist were the only other people in the store. It was a little weird. I got another buzzcut. It feels like she cut it even shorter than usual. I think the 6-week thing worked out more. It wasn’t getting too crazy before the haircut like it had been. The only issue is I had to make an appointment for more than 6 weeks out. It’s going to get funky again. I guess I can wear a hat if it gets bad. I brought up Rosie passing away. She suggested we get another pet. To fill the void, and that many pets need good homes. It’s hard. I don’t think I want to get attached like that to another pet and then deal with their death again. It hurts. She talked about her new chihuahua puppy. I was thinking a while ago about getting a chihuahua. (Long before Rosie passed away.) A nice small dog. Again, I don’t think I want to deal with that again. Unless maybe if I won the lottery and had my own house. (I might get both a dog and cat.) That’s a big maybe, though. Anyways, it looked like a lot of hair was on the floor when she was done. I didn’t think my hair was that long.

My parent made our usual St Patrick’s Day dinner on Sunday. It’s easier to cook like that during the weekend. There were corned beef, potatoes, carrots, and cabbage. They were all boiled together with a little spices. I had the corned beef with a little maple mustard. It was great without it, but it elevated it a little more. It was all great. Shared soda bread for my last snack. Another fave.

This month’s Universal Yums is on Colombia. (Got it on Monday.) I don’t think Treats covered Colombia. It’s pretty new to me that way. Should be interesting to see what emails I’ll get on it from them. So far, there was a recipe for Sancocho Colombiano. Apparently, a huge stew with beef and vegetables. They usually add a sauce on top of it. They might have rice or avocado as sides. Went through the booklet. I can have the 2 recipes in it. I think 1 of them looked really good. Cheese in hot chocolate is apparently a thing. The music playlist wasn’t great. I thought they’d have traditional music. Instead it was pop, rap, and hip-hop. Looks like fun and different snacks this time. There’s one I can’t have. It’s bacon and lime potato chips. My parent said she might have that one.

I’ve tried the cheese rings with cassava powder. They were pretty good, just had a strange aftertaste. Had some of the Chew n Crunch Stix. They weren’t great. Very interesting that it had specks of candy inside. I noticed there was gelatin in it. I don’t know if that’s from pork, beef, fish, or plants. (I can’t have pork products.) The uncertainty scared me and they weren’t good, so I threw the rest out. Had one of the passion fruit flavored lollipops with bubblegum in the center. The candy part was really good. Very flavorful. You could smell it, too. I’m not sure if I’ve had passion fruit before. It looked like it had seeds, but I think they made the candy have bumps and colored them in to make them look like seeds. The gum wasn’t very good. Didn’t last long. It was an experience, though. Today, I had a little bit of the coconut caramel stick candy. It was awful. It also had gelatin. It wasn’t worth having the whole stick. I threw the rest of it out, too. I also had the coffee cake that actually has coffee in it. It was really good. Seemed like it was steamed. It was nice and moist. Had a little strange aftertaste. Not sure what that was. I gave it 3.5 hearts. I gave the coconut caramel sticks 0 hearts. So, today had both the lowest and highest ratings so far. There are lime potato chips from the same brand that did the bacon and lime potato chips. It sounds interesting. I’ve had lime tortilla chips, but not potato chips. There’s also mayo potato chips. To me, that could be good or bad. All depends on how it’s done. There are garlic plantain chips. I’ve tried plantains a couple of times and didn’t like it. Maybe I’ll like it in a different form? There’s a gummy thing. I’ll try a little bit, but it also has gelatin. If it’s good, I might eat more of it. There are lemon cream sandwich cookies, a peanut chocolate bar, and a wafer chocolate bar. Those seem ‘normal’.

Yesterday I had a meatloaf meal from Safeway for dinner. It also had green beans and mashed potatoes. Their meatloaf only has beef, which is great. They use a ketchup-based sauce, which reminds me of what my mom did with her meatloaves. It didn’t have the garlic and herb butter for the green beans/potatoes this time. I like that usually. It still was good. I had a slice of their Biscoff cookie butter cake for my last snack. It’s one of the best cakes they have. Super popular. They didn’t have it for a while. It was the last one. I’m so happy I got to have it. It was amazing! I had Amy’s broccoli cheddar bake for dinner tonight. It’s a frozen meal. One of my faves. I had an oatmeal raisin cookie for dessert. It was pretty tasty. For my last snack, I’ll have cheddar pretzels and either the last of the s’mores chocolate or the beef and cheese sticks. I love the beef and cheese sticks. Another thing I haven’t seen in a while. It might be best to have that then.

I’ve decided to get most of my Passover food from Amazon. They have a good selection. The QFC in Seattle disappointed me last year. They really didn’t have much. They used to be impressive with a huge selection. They actually have a section for it on Amazon. I looked at it last year and it had pretty much everything I needed. Even the jarred charoset and actual choices of cereal. I’ll check it out again soon. The holiday starts the night of April 12th. I have a little while.

I finished my little project of listening through the decades on Spotify. I didn’t find much in the 2010s and 2020s. I added a little over 330 songs to my liked playlist with that. Now I’m listening to my liked playlist on shuffle with their ‘new’ recommendations mixed in. I’ve added quite a bit more that way. I’m still not used to listening to music throughout the day again. It’s another experience. I used to do it all the time, but I stopped it at some point. Probably after my fall 5 years ago and cancer stuff.

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10th of Adar

Rosie, my cat, passed away the week before yesterday during the night. My parent thinks it wasn’t long after we went to bed. She might have had a stroke that morning, and she had at least 2 seizures during the day. I think she had more than just a stroke. The last couple of weeks she seemed to be declining and almost like she tried to prepare for it. I thought she was sleeping in the morning when I had breakfast. (She wasn’t facing me.) She was in the living room. She probably was having a seizure then. She seemed confused/frustrated that she couldn’t get up and move around. She moved a little bit. She kept reaching out to us. We assured her we were there. That night we had her favorite music playing, a light on, and a towel over her since she seemed cold. Tried to have her as comfortable as possible. I stroked her forehead before saying good night. I thought she’d still be with us in the morning. I wasn’t really ready for her to leave us.

We got her close to my birthday (it’s on November 7th), like a day later, in 2010 from the shelter. We were told she was around 3 years old. She had a good long life. She was my baby. I already miss her a lot. At least she’s not suffering.

I posted on most of my socials about it. Most of them seemed to have the reaction I expected. Which was great to see. It was comforting a bit. However, it seemed to explode on Threads. Last time I looked, it had 740 likes, 21 comments, 1 repost, and 2.5K views. I’ve never had such a reaction to a post.

She still had food in her bowl, and suddenly it was gone. Supposedly neither of us threw it out. It just was gone. A little creepy. Maybe she was hungry… A couple of days before that Sunday, she had moved a pillow from the sectional in the living room to near her carrier, on top of her peacock feather. (It might have fallen off, and she could have pushed it to that spot.) It was weird, and I’m not sure why she did it. We left it there for a while. It spooked me occasionally, because it looked like her from the corner of my eye. Sometimes it looked like she was staring at me in her carrier. A little later my parent threw her towel over the carrier and put the pillow away. That helped. Also, it feels like another mourning ritual. Every time I walk in the living room for my indoor walks, it reminds me of it. I feel weird stepping on/near the spot she passed away on.

We lit a yahrzeit candle for her and recited the mourner’s kaddish. She wasn’t human, but felt like we should do something. They have souls, too. She was very loved. I think we did that for most of our pets. I don’t remember doing it for Tasha, but maybe we did.

We got her ashes today. They had her paw print along with it. They didn’t do that for our other pets. I’m not sure how I feel about it. The ashes are in a bigger ‘casket’ looking box. The name plate was separate. It only has her name. They didn’t ask what we wanted on it this time, either. Maybe we could put stuff on it ourselves. We were thinking of ‘The Most Interesting Cat in the World’. Probably have the dates, too. Might be too long, I don’t know. They also have a brochure on grief, and mention a special phone number to talk about the grief of losing a pet specifically. That would be interesting.

I finally called Apria last Wednesday. I kept putting it off because I was nervous. I had to pay for the first month of having the new bed, though. It’s a month today. I wanted to use the benefits card, but they wouldn’t let me. It would have been better if that had worked. At least I was able to pay it. It was only $20.69. I’m also nervous about when I switch to being fully on Medicaid. I don’t know what they’ll do. Maybe Medicaid will pay for the rest of it.

I’m taking gabapentin twice a day right now. One of the things I’ve noticed is I feel happier and like I don’t care/worry about things. I feel a little guilty for feeling happy right now. I’m not noticing much of a change with the pain. I have a hard time going to sleep, but once I am, I’m out cold. (Most of the time.) I don’t wake up like I did before during the night. I think it’s related. I’ll start taking 3 pills this next Friday.

I saw that I got a message from Social Security recently. I was too nervous to read it online. Apparently, the letter from them came in the next day’s mail. It’s about them taking around $96 from what they pay me each month through ssi. They said they’ll start that in April’s paycheck. It’s been a while, and for the last few months it’s been the normal amount. I don’t know why they waited so long to do it. They said I could appeal it. It’s too much for me to deal with. That’s probably what they’d expect from me. They base it on if it’s unfair to you and if it’s a hardship. It is unfair, but not a hardship.

Started a ‘project’ with Spotify. I got the app in order to listen to the Universal Yums playlist for the month. They have a ton of songs with their Turkey or Türkiye playlist. Songs that are traditional and some new stuff, too. Very interesting. Anyways, they post all their playlists on there. After exploring Spotify for a while, I decided to go through music from each decade. I started with what they suggested, which wasn’t very good. I looked more into it, and found All Out decade playlists. They’re much better, accurate, and much longer. I started over with them. They only go back to the 50s on Spotify. I would have started it with earlier decades. Would have been even more interesting. I’ve gotten to the 90s so far. I’m getting a lot for my faves playlist. Should be interesting to see what it’s like when I finish it. Oh, and I got their individual premium. It's not bad. There are no ads this way, and I can listen to how I want to. Like, it doesn't have to be on shuffle. It'll be free for a month.  

I decided to stop going to see a podiatrist just to get my toenails clipped. I decided to try to get pedicures without the nail polish instead. I think my big toenails might be a little difficult, but they’re getting close to looking normal. I can see if they could do them along with the other toenails. Those I think would be easy for them. I’ll go with my parent to one soon. I think it’ll be a lot better for me to get it done there. It was more of a hassle with the podiatrist. They also don’t take Molina or any Medicaid. I’d have to use that since it’s out-of-network. At least when I completely switch over to Medicaid. I think Kaiser Permanente does have someone that does it for you, but it’s very expensive. (From what I’ve heard.) They supposedly do it at your home. I want to see what the people at the nail place will do. It might feel even better. I’ll email my primary care doctor about it. I’ll see what she has to say.

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24th of Tishri

Managed to get another walk in yesterday. Yay! Went a little later than the day before, so most of it was in the dark. No rain this time. A bit chillier. A nice and friendly cat ran up to me. Not sure if it's one I've seen before, since it was so dark. Had my little flashlight with me, but by the time I got used to it, there was another streetlight. So, it took a while for my eyes to adjust again. The spaces between the streetlights are too wide. There's actually been complaints about that in the past. There's always really dark patches at night. Especially on the little path that runs through a greenbelt that's part of my walk. No lights there. I could also use my phone's flashlight. That's more powerful. We'll see. 

I've also been listening to Pandora on my phone during my walks this week. I normally would listen to my walkman mp3 player. When I last did my walks regularly, I thought that Pandora would cut out because there are some 'dead zones' (I think, at least) on my route. It hasn't yet. I like my mp3 player and it has a lot of songs on it, despite it only being like 8% full. I have a paid subscription version of Pandora now without ads, unlimited skips, and more. It has some of my faves, and introduces me to new stuff. So, I'm not sure which one to use now, knowing that both work fine. Maybe I can switch off on them every so often. I like that I have a choice with that now.

In Duolingo's Dutch course, I finished Past Part. and went through all of Feelings 2. Only made a couple of mistakes. Made it to #3 of the Ruby League when I finished today. 

I decided to erase the pencil marks of my drawing of Junko. Took longer than I thought it would, so I'll scan and start fixing it in Photoshop next time. 

Finished editing chapter 15, and a little into chapter 16. There are 20 chapters all together, so I'm getting close to the end again. Went through 8 pages of the ebook version, and 11 pages of the print. 

Managed to practice my clarinet again. Finished the Gershwin book, and went through some advanced solo pieces. I had a tendency to play a little too loud at the beginning. Luckily, some of the solo pieces gave me more practice with dynamics. Was better roughly halfway through. Other than that, it sounded pretty good. A couple of mistakes, but not bad. 

It turns out that we probably don't have to do anything to keep my health insurance coverage as a dependent. My parent found out that I'll be on it at least until January of 2021. I have a feeling they told us about the earlier deadline because of the change in insurance itself. I have a feeling that went out to everyone who had a dependent on theirs. Member services got back with me and said they found the approval letter, but can't give the dependent a copy of that letter. Bizarre. Only my parent and her employer (I think) can get a copy of it. At least we know they have it. If they have the letter, they could use it in the future after January 2021. Probably for every year I'd need to. Still kind of scary. Even if I'm still on it, I may have to get new doctors, since it'll be a totally different plan. I don't know. Again, probably another good reason to wait and see what happens before I make that appointment to see a dermatologist. I hope it'll still cover the gender program, too. I was going to ask the social worker assigned to me through it how to go about getting electrolysis. They cover it through the program, since it's transition-related. I don't know if I need approval from a therapist or someone else first? Or, if I can just get it done without approval, where can I go that's covered? I don't know much about it. I might wait to see what happens with my insurance before I attempt to start electrolysis, to make sure. It'd be interesting if we're both on better plans. 

Asexual Awareness Week

This started on Sunday. It's always a week before Halloween. I don't think I'm going to do much for it. I already talk about and share ace related stuff on a regular basis. There definitely needs to be more visibility, though. 

I fully realized I was ace right before Pride in 2016. Someone had talked about it while prepping for our local Pride. I had an inkling of it when I was 16 and a fellow classmate came out to me as ace. I didn't know him very well, and it makes me wonder why he chose me as one of the first people to come out to. I nervously laughed then looked it up. There wasn't much of a community online and not much info at the library, either. Of what I did find, it terrified me how much I related to it. At that age, I just wanted to be like everyone else around me. I didn't hate others who were LGBTQ+, but I didn't want to be 'different' personally. I think I had a lot of internalized acephobia. I hoped someday I'd suddenly feel like everybody else, or if someone liked me in that way, I'd suddenly feel it, too. Nope, never happened. It was alienating. I've heard other aces felt broken. I never felt that way. I was whole, only alien or inhuman compared to others. Being aro and agender probably were also contributing factors to this 'othering' feeling. Everyone was experiencing these 3 things (having romantic/sexual attractions and a gender), except me. I denied being ace until I was 31. I had to accept it myself before coming out to others. After that I fully embraced it. It probably would have been harder for me if I embraced it and was out as a teen. Again, there wasn't much of a community and kids can be awful to each other if you're considered out of the norm. It was bad enough with being the only Jew in school...I'm a bit jealous and very happy for ace teens now. At the very least, they have communities online where they can feel they belong and/or are accepted. 

Figuring out I was ace also made me wonder about my romantic attraction. I, again, wanted to at least have that so I could feel more 'normal'. Nope. About as aro as it gets. (Realized that in October that year.) I was hesitant about it until I asked myself why. I think it was a mix of internalized arophobia, amatonormativity, and heteronormativity. Now I embrace that, too. It also made me think about what I do experience. My strongest attraction is platonic. This isn't just wanting to be friends with someone. Best way to describe it is you want to be really close best friends with certain people. It's almost on a spiritual level. I'm pan this way. (No, not everyone is.) There's apparently a newer term going around called oriented aro aces. This is for aro aces that do experience some sort of strong attraction. They tend to add the prefix of that attraction (like people do for their sexual or romantic orientations) first. So, I'd be a pan aro ace. It's useful for if we want some form of a relationship like a qpr. A qpr is a queerplatonic relationship, which is what I would love. A squish is a platonic crush, and I've realized I've had a lot more than I thought. They're kind of confusing at first, especially when you don't realize you're aro ace, because it's not like you want to date or have sex with that person. It can be a strong feeling, too. Another one is aesthetic attraction. Certain people look gorgeous or grab your attention, basically. It's not in a sexual or romantic way. I'm attracted to men this way. Yet another is sensual (tactile way, not sexual) attraction. I don't know if I'm attracted to people this way. Some people get really into figuring this stuff out. 

In January, my parent's insurance will change. I'm on my current one as a dependent due to a disability. They deemed I had at least one back in 2012 or 2013. I think that was because of the bipolar 2. Type 2's have lower lows than type 1's. In fact, they're much more at risk for suicide. I was suicidal for years. The mania side isn't the happy type, either. It's racing thoughts, getting irritated easily, taking on too many things, etc. Pretty serious, especially when not treated. I have other mental health issues and now chronic physical health stuff, too. Anyways, the new plan does allow dependents due to a disability, but they have to have some sort of documentation in order to approve it. So, I tried searching for a letter about it in my actual health documents (not online) last week. Saw the letter about them telling me that they'll give me a year extension because my mom passed away, in 2012. I was aging out. After some going back and forth, they eventually approved of me later. But, that approval was not there. I looked at my messages online with them. Nothing. Then, I vaguely remembered that my parent was the one that told me I was approved. I never got a letter from them about it. She found out through her employer somehow. So, I messaged member services yesterday. Hopefully, they'll find something. My parent's looking into things about it, too. It's like a weird puzzle. She told me at first that we only had until November 15th to submit that documentation. Found out yesterday that we actually have until January. Better, but still coming up quickly. She said there's a possibility I could get dental if they approve me as a dependent. I haven't seen a dentist in years. That would be great. Also, knowing that colitis can affect dental stuff, it would be even more important now. Whatever this 2nd autoimmune disease is, it has already messed with my mouth a bit, so it's an added thing. 

I'm getting really tired of this mystery pain. It's so intense, at times, that it feels bone-deep. It's not just the pain I'm tired of, but the weak feeling in my arms/parts of my legs, mouth bumps/sores, worsening fatigue (also a symptom of colitis, but this is more than before), bumps/sores on my hands, shaky hands, resistance every time I move my arms, and more. It's really getting annoying. Especially when I'm asked how I am at stores, or feel I need to look healthy and friendly while out. It's like I put up a facade to make other people feel more comfortable. That's draining in itself. If I stop smiling or be honest and tell someone I'm not feeling well, I feel like others will think I'm angry or make them feel bad for caring. Or, they'll want me to explain why I don't feel well, which if I'm at a store to get something, I'm most likely not going to want to go into detail. I've heard from other people in IBD groups on fb feeling similarly. It's a weird dilemma. I felt odd last time someone at the bakery at a local market asked me how I was. I was feeling really awful at the time, but smiled and lied saying things were good. She always asks me. 

I messaged my rheumatologist asking about getting blood tests that were suggested. They were suggested in the notes of the scl-70 blood test. Saying that about 20% of patients with scleroderma test positive for it, so there are other tests to get a better picture. If I truly don't have it, they'll all be negative. At least we could check. I really feel like that's what it is, but it could be something similar. I don't know. I forgot to tell him where I saw these suggestions, and asked me. I've apparently already been tested for one of them, so that's good. Another one there was a lab error and they weren't able to do it. I wasn't told this before. He said he could order that test again and the others. Hopefully, he still will after telling him that the suggestions come from the notes. I still have to make a dermatologist appointment, but I'm hesitant to do it until after I know what's going to happen with my insurance. I might wait until then. 

Apparently, the dishwasher started working again last night. It was getting harder to hand-wash my dishes after every meal, so that was a relief. Seems to have done it on its own. My parent's still going to have someone look at it. 

I managed to get a walk in yesterday! Yay! My routine walks are roughly 2 miles. Haven't gotten to it in a long time. I've decided a way to get myself to do it is to go right after dinner. Harder to 'forget' if there's a set time, and I won't be as distracted with other things. Also, taking a shower right after every other is a pretty good incentive, I think. I can't take showers every day, because of lots of skin issues (that I know of), so I try to take one every other day. Half the time, I won't have to feel sweaty afterwards. I apparently ate late enough that it was dark halfway through it. That's ok. I have a small flashlight. For the entire time I was out there, it was raining heavily and windy. I have a new umbrella, which helped. However, the rain came in on the sides under the umbrella a bit. My socks and part of my jeans were soaked by the time I got home. Despite all that, it was nice to finally get out there again. If I can keep this up every day for a few weeks, I might be able to add another walk. There was a time when I did 3 of them a day. Not sure if I'll get to that point. 

Today, I finished the Romance unit and am halfway through the Past Part. one in Duolingo's Dutch course. The Romance one was more interesting than I expected. There was some LGBTQ+ representation. Also, some sentences were about consent. Some on not wanting anything romantic or sexual, but to cuddle instead. I know as a company they're very affirming and accepting of LGBTQ+ people, but it was cool to see. By the end, I made it to #4 in the Ruby League. That's pretty good. Hopefully, I can keep it up. 

Yesterday, I figured out how I wanted the folds in Junko's clothes to look, then inked it all. I might keep the pencil marks on it to help edit it in Photoshop. Although, it'll be messier. Still on the fence about it. Next time I'll decide on that and start editing in Photoshop. 

Got to editing more of Alliance. Finished chapter 14, and am well into chapter 15. Went through 7 pages of the ebook, and 11 pages of the print. 

Practiced my clarinet. Finished the Clarinet Solos book, Duke Ellington book, and started the Gershwin one. Played better than expected. Hopefully, I can keep this up for the rest of the week.  

National Noodle Day!

This holiday was yesterday. I love noodles! The only type I don't care for are cellophane noodles. Haven't had it in a while, so that may have changed. There are so many different kinds out there. It was also National German-American Heritage Day and Mad Hatter Day yesterday. 

Did quite a bit of shopping over the weekend. I only have 2 good shirts for fall, and one semi-good one that's really old and thinning out. That last one used to be good for winter, because it was thick and fuzzy. (I think it's fleece? Not sure.) Anyways, on Saturday, I looked at Amazon for more fall/winter shirts. I never seem to find very many styles I like at local malls and such. Plus, shirts are usually short here. I like tunic-length. My torso is really long, and tunic-length usually covers me well. I also have broad shoulders, and looking mainly in the 'women's' section makes it a bit more challenging. 

I found 7 good looking sweaters/sweatshirts. All are tunic-length and long-sleeved. More than I expected. They'll really help. Only one seems to be winter-like. I'll have to look for more winter ones in the future, but this is a big step. I can probably use some of the fall stuff in the winter, if I put a heavy coat on and/or hoodie. I still need to look for a coat. My current one is really old, falling apart, doesn't have a lining anymore, etc. 

They all look really comfy. In fact, some of the reviewers said they felt so nice and soft, they didn't want to take them off. Some of them are made to be oversized. As long as I'm not swimming in them, it seems like that would be nice. I like that they all had the measurements for the sizes. Might even be more accurate this way than guessing at a brick-and-mortar store. For some things I was a medium, if I wanted them somewhat snug. (This surprised me...I used to be much bigger.) So, I ordered those as a large to have it a little looser. The others are extra-large. I tried to order the next bigger size with those, too. Just to make sure. If they don't fit, I can return them. Just have to keep that in mind. 

4 of them are coming today. Really fast! I got 2 already. Both are from Amazon Essentials. I thought it was cool that they have their own line that's pretty cheap. One's a burgundy crew-neck T-shirt. The other's a v-neck camel heather sweater. They're simple, but simple is good and basic. Something I needed. The other 2 things that are coming are both sweatshirts. Both have pockets, which wasn't what I was looking for, but I'll take it. One of them is purple, and the other is khaki with gold trim. I thought it'd be good to get a variety of colors. I'll try on those 4 shirts when I get them all.

2 more are coming tomorrow. One's a red wine with silver stripes (thick one across the chest, and 2 at the elbows) sweater. Kind of reminds me of my college's, WSU, colors: grey and crimson. That'll be cool. The 2nd's a cable crew-neck sweater in charcoal heather. 

The last one is a loose and chunky turtleneck sweater in beige. It looks the most comfy and winter-like. It apparently won't arrive until the end of the month. This makes me think that it might be handmade and they only start making it when you order, which would be interesting. 

Sunday, we mostly did grocery shopping. I want to get more into making recipes from Pinterest, and planning the week's dinners in advance. I forgot to look at recipes before we went out, but I'll look soon. Have to see what we have of whatever recipe I decide on next, then make a list of the stuff I'd need. It's actually cheaper than getting premade meals, boxed stuff, etc. A lot of them are packed with more nutrients, too. Also, have more control over what goes into it. If I make a full recipe of something with many servings, I might need to freeze some of them to keep them 'fresh'. I'm hoping to convert most recipes into 1 or 2 servings, though. Might be more difficult with crockpot-based ones. Those might keep better. We'll see. 

Finished the Suffix unit and am halfway through the University unit for Duolingo's Dutch course. I think I only did it once last week. Hopefully, It'll be better this week. Still in the Ruby League. 

Finally went back to drawing Junko. I was frustrated with how she was turning out. Looking back at it today, it didn't seem as bad as I thought. I drew her clothes and erased some extra lines this time. Next, I'll add folds in the fabric and maybe fine-tune her clothes more. 

Edited more of Alliance. Finished going through chapter 11, and well into chapter 12. Went through 7 pages of the ebook, and 11 pages of the print. A lot in such a short time. 

Practiced my clarinet. I haven't done it for probably 2 weeks. Nice to get back to it. I played Mozart this time. Almost finished the book. There's just one more piece. 

24th of Elul

Had a busy day Friday. Spent most of the day in Tacoma. Went to 2 different recycling places. Then, to the Tacoma Mall so my parent could recycle her old ipad and iphone. The line for the new iphone was long. Glad we weren't there for that. 

My parent found out that she had pink eye Thursday afternoon, and was told not to go back to work the next day. Since it's highly contagious. I hope I don't get it. Although, I think I would have had signs by now. This made it easier to make a full day of it. 

We went to Half Price Books after that. She gave them a huge collection of books. (Filled up 3 boxes.) They didn't see the value in it, sadly. They'll recycle them for her. I did find a cookbook there. It's called Traditional Swedish Cooking. It was only $7. Really good for a cookbook. It's interesting. There's a lot of fish recipes. More than I expected. Fish side dishes, salads, stews, etc. Even fish that I haven't heard of before. They have other salads that seem 'safe' for me, too. Lots of cooked vegetables. Other types of stews. Tons of desserts. There's a section for bread, and another for preserves. Sounds fun. It also has alcoholic drinks. I don't drink alcohol, but it was interesting. There are tips for certain ingredients. A lot of the recipes sound doable to me, even with the pain. 

After that, we went to my rheumatologist's appointment. He seemed to actually listen to me, was thorough, and tried to come up with things to help. He thought the muscle relaxant was a good idea. I think it might be helping, but I definitely feel it when it wears off. I might ask for a higher dose. 

He was worried about my hands. Brought up seeing a hand surgeon to figure out how to get rid of the lumps. There are so many. They're still somewhat small, but are growing and hardening. They're not painful, unless I mess with them for a while. They're annoying and sometimes move around. He was concerned about the weird sores on my hands, too. 

I brought up my mouth sores. Although, I think I only have one right now (like a thin line on the edge of the left corner of my lips). He still took a look at it. I forgot to tell him that one of the sores that disappeared was black with a little white on top and big. It scared me. Now that it's not there anymore, maybe it doesn't matter if I told him. 

I wasn't sure, but I thought the big lump on my neck might be a swollen lymph node. I thought it was too big for one. He said they can get much bigger, and it would make sense if it were. He wants me to see a dermatologist, since he's not an expert in what's going on with my skin. 

I brought up the possibility that I have scleroderma. He agreed it could be, but also brought up lupus. He ordered 2 blood tests, one for scleroderma, and the other is the ANCA Screen. I think the ANCA Screen is to help narrow down what autoimmune disease it is. If it's positive, it's a certain group. If negative, those are eliminated. I don't know much about that test. I had a strong urge to get imaging done on my hands and wrists, and he agreed and ordered x-rays. Those lumps could be calcium deposits, which would show up on x-rays. Plus, the structure of my hands seems to have changed. They're more twisted and bony looking. The positions the put my hands in were awkward to stay in, too. Apparently the results are all back, but I'm nervous to look at them. What if both blood tests are negative and the x-rays come back with nothing? I'm back to square one. However, what if all of them indicate what I think is going on? He said he'd make a phone appointment depending on the results. If he doesn't, I'll see him in 6 months. That's a long time, but maybe the dermatologist will come up with things. 

Went to the Cheesecake Factory after that. We don't go there very often, so it was a treat. So many things on their menu are calorie-laden. It's often hard to pick if I've eaten anything beforehand. I only had breakfast before that, so I could handle quite a bit. It was also the start of my treat days, but I didn't want to go overboard. I got their cheddar-stuffed burger. Most of the cheddar fell out and pooled on the plate as soon as I started eating it. Much more liquidy than I expected and kind of gross looking. The burger and sweet grilled onions were great. I ate all of the burger and onions, a little of the cheddar, roughly 1/4 of the bun, none of the fixings, and roughly half of the fries. I think I did pretty well with that. For dessert, I got their Cinnabon Cinnamon Swirl Cheesecake. It had layers of Cinnabon cinnamon cheesecake, vanilla crunch cake, cream cheese frosting, and caramel on top. There was cinnamon and sugar sprinkles on the back of the slice, too. It tasted and smelled like a cinnamon roll. Like 2 desserts in one. Got home pretty late.

For the last couple of days, Rosie has had an upset stomach. I woke up to her scratching on my closet door Sunday morning. She scratches near things she doesn't like. She does this almost every time she goes to the bathroom in the litter boxes. Seems that she's trying to flush it away or something. She never covers. Anyways, I ignored her until the 3rd time she came by to scratch. I lightly tapped her on the butt, and told her to stop. She walked a little towards the middle of my bedroom and proceeded to throw up. What a way to start the day! Turned out she had thrown up a lot near my closet. I took care of it all before I got ready for the day. Then, she seemed fine throughout the day. Monday morning, she threw up again in my room. Near my sneakers this time. Cleaned it up. Throughout the day she would throw up clear stuff. She seemed depressed and was very affectionate. I was angry Sunday morning, but that quickly turned into feeling bad for her. She must have eaten something she shouldn't have. She doesn't get sick that often. She hasn't thrown up today. At least, not that I know of.

I've decided to try to stick more closely with the daily calorie range limit I set for myself (1200-1600, 1400 being the 'sweet spot'), and to be close to what's recommended of other things like sugar, carbs, protein, etc. It's a balancing act. The calorie range is the easy part. I vary wildly day to day when it comes to many of the other things. Half the time I go a little over what's recommended for sugar, the other half I get maybe half of it. I'm usually well over for carbs. That's something I'm going to have to 'manipulate' a bit. Since I have a problem with absorbing protein, I need more than what's recommended for a healthy person. However, I have a hard time going over the halfway mark for that healthy person's recommended amount. I never make it to the full amount for that. So, it's an even more difficult thing for me. Interestingly, I usually am under the recommended amount for fat. I plan to still have Friday night to Sunday as my treat days, but I might try to be a bit more careful. Maybe my limit should be around 1800 calories a day for those. Not sure about the rest of the nutrients. I think I figured out today's stuff pretty well. Except for the protein. Seems like I'll just barely make it over the halfway mark for that. I'll end up being slightly under 1400 calories, which isn't bad. Only 4g over for carbs. (The recommended amount for carbs is 225g.) Right on for sugar. Yay! Better with potassium than usual, too. That's close to it's halfway mark. Only 4% under the recommended amount for calcium. 17% under for iron. Potassium, iron, and calcium can be tricky for me, too.

Studied Dutch on Duolingo both yesterday and today. I skipped it on Friday. Despite that, I'm still in the Ruby League. I'm 1/4 way through the Arts 2 unit now, and made it passed the 5th checkpoint. I think that's the last checkpoint. They did it a little differently with this one. It must be a new thing. In order to pass it, they quiz you on content you were taught after the 4th checkpoint. They don't let you see the translations of the words in sentences you may have forgotten, can't repeat what was said, a couple of different formats for the questions than the usual, etc. Supposedly it wasn't graded either. Maybe it's more of a review? Made it through quickly. 

Edited Alliance yesterday and today, as well. I'm well into chapter 10 now. Today I went through 7 pages of the ebook version, and 9 pages of the print. I only did it for 4 days last week, but I managed to go through 36 pages of the ebook, and 51 pages of the print all together. That's a lot! I'm still surprised at how quickly I'm moving through it this time. 

Practiced my clarinet yesterday. Finished playing through my klezmer book, and started the Mozart one. I wasn't feeling up to it today. Hopefully, I'll get to it tomorrow. 

Finished watching the new anime adaptation of Fruits Basket. There is going to be a 2nd season. It really did stick to the manga. The 1st anime didn't, and the mangaka (creator) was really upset by it. She hated the design, the music, the voice actors' portrayals, etc. That one also had a lighter more immature tone. The actual manga gets dark quick. There's still a lot of humor, though. The design with this new anime followed the one in the manga to a T, which was interesting to see. They made the art prettier and animation better. The voice actors were much better. I remember how much I hated the Japanese voice actors in the older anime. It's really rare, but the English dub was much better in that. This time the Japanese voice actors sounded pretty much how I'd imagine the characters to sound. The music was better with the new one, too. It wasn't so wishy-washy. With the old one, they veered off into a different direction than the manga halfway through because they caught up to it. The manga wasn't even halfway through. So, people only got a glimpse at the plot. I'm glad I read all of the manga. It gets complex. There were characters that I liked that weren't in the old anime, since they were introduced later. Got to see one of those in the last couple of minutes of the 2019 version's finale. That was Rin, the horse in the zodiac. I've also realized that there are quite a few queer themes in it, which might be why I liked it so much in the past. I didn't realize it at the time. It's hinted that a few characters may be trans and some are gender non-conforming. One character is clearly bi, but jokes about it sometimes. Their friendships are portrayed in a much deeper way than many series (manga/anime, and even in Western media). Some of them could easily be called queerplatonic. There's a big twist to the story in the manga. They have you thinking one of them is a certain gender throughout most of it, but isn't. They were forced to be a certain gender. I think they might actually be non-binary. (I'm trying to not spoil who that is.) The main protagonist, Tohru, is tougher than she seems also. Probably was a way to portray a strong female character girls and women could look up to or be inspired by. Rare in shoujo anime/manga, to me. She seems more...real. I think she sometimes slips out of gender roles, too. The series also touches on mental illness and some other deep topics. Hopefully, the 2nd season will be out soon. They just said sometime in 2020. I'm not sure how many seasons they'll make. I think if they want to do the whole thing it might be 3 or 4 seasons long? Not sure. That would be cool. I'll get to see more of the manga-only characters next season. Yay!

Also, finished Naka no Hito Genome or the Ones Within. I liked it a lot. It had a dark side to it, which is my sort of thing. The characters were unique and most were lovable. I think Anya is actually ace, possibly aro as well. He's never had a crush, and he's said he doesn't like anyone when he was asked about dating. Some of the others don't seem straight, either. They leave it ambiguous, which was a fascinating side to it. They hint at some of them possibly being gay, lesbian, or bi/pan. Again, it's put in such a way, except for Anya, that you can't really tell. Makino, who doesn't talk much and loves to sleep, seems to attract everyone. He also seems, at least, to be gender non-conforming. I think I share a lot of Akatsuki's traits, which was interesting. The only one I felt iffy about was Akatsuki's stalker, Yuzu. I think she was meant to make people feel that way. The games were interesting. They managed to get over half the amount of viewers they needed. It leaves it wide open for a 2nd season. I really hope it does have one. It seems highly underrated. 

11th of Elul

Had a Taco Tuesday night thing yesterday with my parent. We don't usually do that, but it was fun and nice. Since I can't really have the hard corn taco shells, I found little soft flour tortilla taco bowls for myself. Corn is a trigger food (although sometimes I can handle it mashed up), and hard things can scrape up against the scars of my colon. My parent's corn shells came with a taco kit, which had seasoning for the ground beef and taco sauce. We shared that as well as vegetarian refried beans, chopped tomatoes, and shredded lettuce. I added a little smoked cheddar to mine. It was delicious! We were thinking of having leftover homemade sausage Mexican rice on the side, but we were too full. Ended up with enough fixings for another night. That might be tonight. I was surprised those taco bowls had 2 to a serving. They were fun. 

It was cold enough today that I put away my fan, and put out/turned on my heater. It's a nice one. However, it uses up so much power that I can't leave it on overnight. It can rotate, which helps heat up the whole room. You can set the temp, an alarm where it warns people and pets if they get too close, and more. I just didn't think I'd need it now. 

Played Fate yesterday. Again, it's an rpg. Your character, along with their cat or dog, goes on quests in the dungeon. You can pick either a girl or boy, but honestly they look similar. Plus, they use the same armor, weapons, and equipment, which is rare for an rpg. The further the level in the dungeon, the more difficult it gets. I think I read somewhere that it's 100 levels deep, but I don't know. Their pets help with fights and carrying extra things they find that might not fit in their inventory. They level up, too. There are some shops to get potions, jewelry, weapons, armor, and other equipment in town. There's a penguin that can enchant things, but it's unpredictable. I think I'm at level 40 of the dungeon. That's the deepest I've gone. My character is a level 35. There's also fame titles. I'm currently famous. Don't know what comes after that. I also have a cat named after Rosie. So, it's like she's there with me. My character is pretty well equipped, has tough armor, and a powerful sword. Yet, they died at level 40. It was the first time with that character that they've died. That's how crazy that level was. When they die, you get 3 choices: 'Death' or the Grim Reaper takes a lot of your xp (experience points) and gold, Death sends you to a random level (could be much further down), or makes you leave all of your gold where you died and sends you a few levels up. For the last one, you have a time limit to get back to your gold, otherwise it disappears. I chose that. I actually managed to get to my gold in time and defeated all the monsters on that level. Yay! I'm a little scared to go deeper. I've also noticed the bigger the monster, the easier they are to kill. Don't know why. They're scarier looking, though. There are huge ogres, dragons, griffins, yetis, ones that look like huge brains, and more. The little poisonous spiders are super annoying, there are also tiny imps that stab you rapidly. The unicorns are cool looking, but somehow they made them scary, too. I might play some Sims 2: Seasons next.

Went through all of the Language unit and started the S. Past 2 one of Duolingo's Dutch course. Stumbled a few times on pronunciations of some of the new words. Made it to placing 8th in the Sapphire League. Not bad. Pretty much where I ended up yesterday, but had to work my way back up since other people got to it today, too.

I think I fixed Junko's legs enough. They look better, at least. Added a faint outline of her clothes. That'll cover a lot of the strangeness anyways. 

Edited more of Alliance. Made it to chapter 6. 3 pages of the ebook, and 5 of the print. There was quite a messy section that I didn't see before. I'm happy I picked up on it. 

Practiced my clarinet. Finished the Irish tunes book, and got to playing some klezmer. The Irish tunes book isn't really a 'book'. It's actually a print out of an email someone sent with the pages stapled. It's really battered looking, too. My klezmer book is breaking down, as well. I love playing klezmer. I'm playing better than I expected this week. My fingers seem to be getting more flexible again the more I play. 

10th of Elul

Started watching Darr Sabko Lagta Hai (I'll shorten it to Darr in the future) or Everybody Feels Fear on Netflix. Again, it's an Indian horror show. Seems like each episode will be a different story. There's a model, Bipasha Basu (basically plays herself), that hosts it. In the first episode, a blind woman who could sense ghosts told a story to her. The only way the woman knew about the story was because the ghosts told her. Some of it was hokey, but it was interesting. Not particularly scary to me so far. Although, I'm used to horror shows and movies. It does have a vaguely similar vibe to Goodnight DJ. Except in that one they weren't all horror-based. 

Went through all of the Weather unit in Duolingo's Dutch course. Only got one question wrong. Yay! I'm in the top ten of the Sapphire League now. If you're in the top 3 by the end of the week, you get a chest. Chests are full of gems, and gems can be used to restore health or for things in the store. Not sure how much you get for those. I haven't been in the top 3 of any of the leagues yet. You just have to make it to the top 10 in order to be promoted to the next league. It'd be interesting to try to get to that point. 

I realized that Junko's torso was still too long. Ended up shortening it again. Legs look a little weird. I'll have to tweak it again next time. Maybe I should just go off my gut, and not so much with the guidelines I'm using. 

Edited more of Alliance. Went through 5 pages of the ebook and 6 pages of the print. Much faster speed than usual, considering I did that in just a half hour. It reads much better than my last edit of the whole thing. 

Practiced my clarinet. Did 40 minutes again. I think I'll stick to that time this week. Maybe try 50 minutes next week. My pinkies seemed more flexible. Only played Irish tunes this time. Messed up a couple of times, but wasn't bad. 

9th of Elul

For Duolingo's Dutch course, I finished the School and Relative Pronouns units today. Next will be Weather. I'm surprised to still be in the Sapphire League, despite only being active for 1 or 2 days last week. Hopefully, I can get to doing it every day again. 

Managed to get back to drawing Junko. I realized her torso was too elongated, even though I was following a guideline. I had to shorten everything below her waist a little. She's looking a lot better now. I'll make her legs look more anatomically correct next, or at least more proportional. I'll refine the rest of her a bit more, too. Then, I'll add her clothes. 

Edited more of Alliance. Made it well into chapter 5. Went through 8 pages of the ebook, and 11 of the print. I think that's the most I've done in a day. Wahoo!

I practiced my clarinet today. Haven't played it in roughly 7 months. Mainly because of my health. It felt so good just to get back to it. Played much better than expected. I'm not breathing as well as I used to, both my arms are still in a lot of constant pain, and my pinkies are very stiff (making it difficult to play the alternative keys...). All of this makes it more difficult. I was happy to do 40 minutes of it. My target normally is an hour. I went through a little of the advanced classical solo pieces, a jazz book, and Irish tunes. I was nervous about starting with an advanced book, but it wasn't too bad. Hopefully I can get to practicing every day during the week again.

Another aspect that made it a bit more difficult was the new sores in my mouth. I've had this thread-like one inside the left corner of my lip for a while. Had a weird clear blister inside my right cheek. It was scary looking, but disappeared the next day. Last night I found a much scarier looking one on my lower inner lip near that thread-like one. It's wide, black, occasionally has a little white on top, and the edges look weird. I've never had something like that. I only noticed it last night because I accidentally bit down on it. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't hard enough to draw blood. It feels weird. Most of the time it's not painful, just feels like there's a sticky glob of some sort. After having snack today, I noticed there's another sore on the other side of my mouth. This one seems more normal, but thick. So, it feels like there's a piece of food stuck there. Really annoying. I didn't have mouth sores in the past as extraintestinal symptoms of my colitis. I think it's related to that 'new' unknown thing I've been having symptoms of since February. We know it's another autoimmune disease (specifically rheumatic related). I still think it's scleroderma, but I don't know if it's common for patients who have that to have mouth sores.

I decided to drop Possession. It's a Korean supernatural detective show. I was halfway through, but it was getting too painful story-wise to watch. Plus, it's a pretty lengthy show (16 episodes, each about 1 hr and 15 min), and I didn't want to push through that. I'm thinking of watching Darr Sabko Lagta Hai or Everybody Feels Fear on Netflix next. It's an Indian (in Hindi) anthology horror show. It sounds very interesting. Kind of sounds similar to Goodnight DJ. 

Tried out another flavor of Betty Crocker's Mug Treats: chocolate chip cookie with chocolate frosting. It really was like a huge cookie in a mug. This one cooked for about 10 seconds less than the cinnamon roll one. Used milk again instead of water. It was great. I don't think it really needed the frosting, though. It's packed with sugar and calories, and I think omitting the frosting would take a lot of that away. I could use the frosting for something else in the future. I've decided to only have it Friday nights (the start of Shabbos), since it's a treat night where calories don't matter as much. There are 4 to a pack, so it'll last a while. Also, have a big thing of rainbow chip cookies from Safeway. I think there are 12 to a pack of that. This way I have roughly 2 weeks worth of desserts for myself. That's not counting occasionally getting desserts at restaurants, or even if I want to try the tea cookies my parent got. Or, if I need a break from the mug cookies on a Friday night. I like that I'm covered on that for a while. 

I made pumpkin spice pancakes yesterday for lunch. The mix was from World Market. It was new, and since I like their banana caramel one, I thought I'd give it a shot. Plus, all their pancake mixes are cheap. It was ok. It smelled great, but had a very mild spice taste. They used real pumpkin, but I couldn't really taste it. It probably would have been better with powdered sugar and/or syrup. Didn't have syrup at the time, though. I still have quite a bit of the banana one. Maybe I could combine them for a serving next time. Sounds like they would taste great together. I'm glad I tried it. Hope to try their other flavors in the future. Some of them seem really creative. I have to at least get through the banana one first. Also, tried the pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels from World Market. They were amazing! I'm saving them for snacks during the weekend, which are my treat days. They have a lot of sugar. Not bad on calories, at least. 

I searched for some new apps this weekend, as well. Found some Jewish ones, more color by number ones, and a game. Still using a small fraction of my iPhone storage space. The game is called Cat Cafe. You get to own your own cat cafe with cats you adopt, orders to fill from customers, cleaning it, getting thank you notes from customers, toys, decorating it, and more. Both the cats and customers are so cute! They say the cats are based on real shelter cats in New Zealand. Interesting side to it. 

With the Jewish ones, I found a daily Torah study app from Chabbad. It's really fascinating. I can try to study a little of it everyday. They have a calendar where you can tap on that day and get the lessons for it. You can look into other days this way, too. The lessons are on Rashi's commentary, psalms, Tanya, thoughts on holidays/time of year or parsha (Torah portion), a daily mitzvah, and one other thing. Quite a lot packed into it. 

Redownloaded Jewish.tv. It's also through Chabbad. Full of videos for studying, documentaries, cooking, music, and more. I only got rid of it before because my old phone had ran out of space. 

The last Jewish app is one that I also had on my old phone. It's called Sefaria. It's a really vast and valuable resource. They have the Tanach, Mishnah, Talmud, Midrash, Halachah, Kabbalah, Tanaitic, texts on philosophy, liturgy, Musar, and so much more. It's like having a huge library of Jewish texts on my phone. You could even download whatever you want to go through offline. I'm still surprised it's free. They've managed to keep it up through donations alone.

Oh, I also got Yelp. I was using Foursquare for a while, so I decided to try this, too. Swarm, which I still use, is part of Foursquare. I can try it out. Might be better.

International Cat Day!

This holiday was yesterday. I love cats! I love other animals as well, but cats hold a special place in my heart. Been around them since I was born. Our current cats are a Turkish Van, Natasha (Tasha for short), and a tortoiseshell (aka tortie), Rosie. Tortoiseshell isn't technically a breed. It's based on the color of their coat. They're similar to calicos this way. She's a tabby (short hair), which has stripes along with the different colors. We went through a lot of names for her, but Rosie seems to fit so well. She's glomped onto me almost since we got her. Tries to take care of me, too. She has an issue with matted fur. The vet clinic had to shave most of the mats off recently, and I've been using a grooming glove twice a day since. The mats haven't come back. Her fur is so much softer and shinier now. She seems happy about it and begs to be groomed now. She'll 'groom' me at the same time by licking my free hand. So cute! 

Turkish Vans have long fur, but it's in a single layer instead of multiple. Makes it very soft. They often have color on the head and tail and sometimes parts of their legs/feet (she has some in those areas), and white for the rest of the body. Tasha is black and white. They're prone to polydactyly, which is lit. many fingers/toes. Tasha has that. Her paws are huge because of it. Yet, she has a small slender head. A collar doesn't fit her. She'll just wiggle out of it, if you manage to get it on her. She also barks like a dog when startled. Loves water. This might be because the breed comes from near Lake Van in Turkey. Pretty unique cat. Since we got Rosie, they've fought each other. However, they seem to be mellowing out. Tasha has become braver in the last couple of years. Wanting to stick around me, sleeping on my bed during the day, going downstairs and hanging out with us, watching things out the back door, etc. Things she wouldn't do before. She's standing her ground more, too. I think this has made Rosie feel even more jealous, but she's not attacking as often. 

Tuesday marked the 10-year anniversary of this blog! Wahoo! Never thought I'd keep it up for as long as I have on here. This will be the 1,049th post. It'll be cool if I keep it up in some form for another 10 years, at least. Hopefully, I can get back to posting more often. The year I posted the most was in 2010. Did better than most years last year. I've also created 3 other blogs on here. The 2nd one was on what I'd say to my mom after she passed away. Similar to writing letters to her, I guess. I had that completely private where no one but me could see it. I deleted that one, because it was painful to see after a while. The 3rd one was supposed to be on various different topics and my point of view on them. That became inactive after a few posts. Maybe I'll get back to it in the future. It was an interesting concept. The final one was on practicing my Japanese. I even switched to the Blogger Japanese base where the comments, headings, etc. are all in the language. They even email you in Japanese if there's an alert of some sort. It was cool. Might go back to it in the future, and/or make another language learning one. As an example, since I'm studying it right now, I could make a Dutch one. I did have a few comments on the Japanese one from actual Japanese people. That was nice. I've read you can create 100 blogs through Blogger. That's way too many to keep up with. I also like the lists feature. I can keep up with things and see what I've finished at a glance. The links list is probably not completely up to date, but that's good to have as reference, too. There's a lot you can customize. I stuck with one background/configuration until just a few years ago. It looks quite different now. I think I was forced to, because they weren't able to support the old version. I like it, even if it's taken me a little while to get used to. It's pretty great to be able to link to my books (with the cover art) with a widget on here, too. Even if I'm a little embarrassed by my 1st book after editing it. I need to go over the beginning yet again. Then I'll go through the sequel, and finally resubmit both of them for publishing. Anyways, this is like my little home online. 

I've been using Pandora since college. It's really gotten to know my 'tastes' in music over the years. (Of what's in their database.) I've loved that it picks new music based on things you've liked already. I recently got Pandora Premium. I had been using the free version. They give you the 1st month free, and then start the subscription. There are no ads and I think their recommendations have been much better. I haven't looked at My Thumbprint radio yet. I've just kept listening to my Shuffle one. It shuffles the ones I've thumbed up and suggests new tunes. I'm not sure how different Thumbprint would be. I guess I can see in the future. 

Recently started watching Naka no Hito Genome [Jikkyouchuu] (The Ones Within- Genome [Now Streaming]). It's been very interesting so far. A very different twist on a currently popular genre, isekai. Isekai (different world) is when people from our world are transported, reincarnated, or trapped in a parallel universe. Sometimes this works in reverse. It's usually fantasy or horror based, and a lot of them are influenced by or actually in their own video games (mostly rpg's). I think it's a fun one, but there have been a lot of them in the last few anime seasons. Some people are sick of them. This one has a group of gaming 'streamers' or video uploaders from our world transported to a place called 13th Avenue. Each player specializes in a certain type of game, like cultivation games, fighting games, puzzle games, horror games, etc. A man in an alpaca mask, called Paca, gathers them together and explains that they have to clear all the stages and collect tokens. They must reach 100 million viewers at the same time in the 'livestream'. The viewers are watching everything they do. Even when they're not participating in a stage. There are a certain number of people allowed to do each one. If you go against Paca the punishment could be deadly. They can die or be injured in the stages, too. It's really dark at times, which is my kind of thing. 

It got a bit personal for me in one of the last episodes I saw (I'm not up to date on the series yet). The main character, Akatsuki, has a similar dominant handedness as me. We're both essentially cross-dominant. We tend to prefer a certain hand for certain tasks, and this can switch at times. For instance, I mostly write with my right hand, carry an umbrella in my left, might kick a ball with either foot or catch it with either hand (depends on which is closest), eat with a fork and knife similar to a left-handed person but a little different (I've been told it's weird, but it makes the most sense to me) etc. They say he's ambidextrous, but was forced to do things like write with his right instead of left. They do suspect a lot of cross-dominants are actually ambidextrous, and it wouldn't surprise me if I was. Left-handed people weren't treated very well even when I was in elementary school. Scared me enough I tried to make sure I used my right hand for at least writing. I'm surprised they had a character like that.  

He has a stalker that's one of the gamers. She has a wall covered in pics of him, and has been 'studying' him since they met. She knew about the cross-dominant thing. I've had 3 or 4 stalkers in the past. 1 woman and 2 or 3 men. A couple of them had done a similar thing with pics of me. The 1st one I found out at a Jewish youth group camping trip. I think I was 14 or 15? He had made a shrine with pics of me, the shoe I lost that day, and candles all around in his cabin room. I accidentally found it along with a friend. Kept blowing kisses at me the rest of the trip, and followed me all the way home. Another one, a roommate at a dorm in college, had made a huge collage of pics of me sleeping and other times without my knowledge. She also wrote a 5-page letter that she gave me when I moved out. Funnily enough, I had to move because of another stalker. That one was much scarier/violent, but he never made collages of me. That I know of, anyway. The anime did bring back those memories. It was creepy enough with what she did/was doing in it. I like Akatsuki even more so now.  

Watched Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler): Book of the Atlantic. It's an anime movie based on the manga's Luxury Liner or Campania arc. Campania was the name of the ship. It was one of the best arcs in the manga. The zombies were introduced, a lot was revealed about Undertaker, and Lizzie has some major character development. A lot of people hated her before that arc. The zombies in it aren't exactly like how most are portrayed. They crave souls, not brains, and you can't be zombified if you're bitten/injured by them. There's a special way to make a zombie that only the fugitive shinigami (lit. death g-d, like the grim reaper) can do. He really was experimenting to try and bring back the dead, not necessarily make zombies. Recently, in the manga, he still hasn't truly perfected the process of making a person come back to life with their soul intact, awareness, memories, same personality, without needing blood transfusions, etc. He's come very close, though. I thought it'd be great to see. It wasn't available for roughly 2 1/2 years. I thought it was pretty well done. A lot of the animation was stunning. Lizzie's fight with the zombies really looked like a ballet, which is like how it was portrayed in the manga. It was oddly beautiful. Sebastian's 1st fight with them was portrayed as a crazy violent demonic dance. They came close. Interesting to see both animated. There's only so much the manga can do. They followed almost everything exactly the way it was in the manga, like the other 'Books'. There's a season on the Circus arc, and another on the Detective arc. I hope they adapt the other story arcs in the future. There have been several since. 

Finished Ultraviolet on Netflix. It's a Polish detective show. Ultraviolet or UV is an online amateur detective forum. They often solve cases much faster than the actual detectives, so there's usually tension between them. The main character, Ola, becomes a member after witnessing a crime. A retired cop and a detective friend help her and UV. The last case was more intense than the others. It'd be cool if another season came out. The characters were very likable. 

Started watching Deadwind, but decided to drop it. It's a Finnish detective show. There's not much humor (even dark humor), everyone looks so depressed, and the acting isn't great. 

Tried out Memories of the Alhambra last night. It's a fantasy Korean drama mostly set in Spain. It sounded really interesting and is highly rated. Dropped it after that first episode, because I couldn't get passed how much of a jerk the male lead was, and weak the female lead was. Seemed sexist. The scenery and game stuff was impressive, though. I brought up what I thought about it in my feed on MyDramaList, and people really seem mixed on it. Some said you should just ignore the female lead. It's supposed to be only about the man. Focus more on the game. Others also hated the sexism and couldn't get passed 1 or 2 episodes. Everyone agreed that there was sexism in it, yet the ones that loved it thought it wasn't a big deal. I wonder if there's a lot of sexism amongst Asian drama fans or they just ignore it? I don't watch that many romance dramas, but it seems like a theme in most of them of that genre around the world. Particularly of non-LGBTQ+ romance shows. I've watched some other types of Korean shows, usually detective ones, that didn't really have that element. In fact, the women were kickass and strong both physically and personality-wise. So, it doesn't seem like just a cultural thing to me. I'll try Possessed next. It's a Korean supernatural detective show. 

Wednesday, we went to the dump and recycled a lot of styrofoam. Got rid of the old computers (Mom's, my parent's, and mine), printers, monitors, and keyboards. There was also a cat bed that neither cat really was into, a rope I got from my horse management class, and some of my really old bedding. Felt a little sentimental about the rope, but it was ragged, pricked me every time I touched it, really old, and there really isn't anything I'd use it for. I think it was one of the ropes I used with the horse assigned to me. He was one of the most abused horses and took a while to break. After that he was glued to me. He wouldn't let anyone else touch him, and was super jealous if I took care of another horse. Was super gentle with me, and if he thought he stepped on me he was beside himself and visibly looked hurt. There were a couple of times like that, but he just would graze my shoe. I hope he found a nice home after the stables were torn down. The new electronics made a lot of styrofoam. It was nice we could find a place to recycle it. 

While we were out around Tacoma, we decided to go to Half Price Books. I found a cookbook called the Joy of Chinese Cooking for about $6. Thought that was really good. It's from the early 80's, so might not be the best. There's a lot of fried dishes. (Like deep-fried, not referring to stir-fried.) I'm not sure if that's really the way authentic Chinese food is. It does indicate things like what's classic, what's festival/party food, what utensils/methods to use, time, and more. That's handy. They don't always list amount of servings, which makes it a little difficult. There's also info on how the Chinese view food, philosophy of it, etiquette, cookware, history of some ingredients, etc. That stuff's always interesting to read about. We went to another HPB, but I didn't find anything else. Last time I went to HPB I found a cheese encyclopedia for around $2. It wasn't thin and was in good shape. That's been interesting. Haven't looked at it often, but it's a wealth of info just sitting there. It features cheeses from around the world, even from places most people don't think about. It'd be cool to try out more cheeses and look them up beforehand. 

Went to Krispy Kreme after all that. Needed something with my 'dinner' pills, since I knew I'd have a late dinner and I need to stick to having my pills at certain times. Have to have food with them. I've only been there once or twice, and it's been a very long time. Got their cake batter donut and chocolate milk. I didn't know they had different fillings besides custard or lemon. This was cake batter flavored frosting. It was surprisingly light and tasty. Hadn't had chocolate milk in an even longer time, so that was an experience, too.

I did manage to mostly stay away from social media last Shabbos. (Friday night until Saturday night. Shabbos is Yiddish for Shabbat, and Shabbat is our day of rest.) It felt nice. Haven't done that in a while, and it felt more like a 'rest' this way. I also got to lighting the candles, saying the blessings, and attended online services for both Friday night and Saturday morning. Did quite a lot more than what I have been doing lately. I used to try to at least do the candles/blessings. Hopefully, I can do the same things as last time this Shabbos. I was kind of disappointed by last Saturday morning online services, because they had technical difficulties and just reuploaded the service from the week before instead. Didn't realize it until about halfway through. Felt a bit off. The night one was nice, though. They seem like a much more diverse congregation than some out there. Probably because they're in NYC. It was still cool to see.