Yesterday was also Mother's Day. I have a hard time with that day. My mom passed away 6 years ago on May 1st. The whole month is difficult. Her birthday is on the 21st and my parents' anniversary is not long after that. So, this adds to it. It's like a reminder that she's not here. Plus, I hate this, but I have a hard time calling my other parent, 'mom'. I hate it because she's just as much a woman as my mom was, and she's also my parent...While out, I call her my parent. If we're by ourselves or with people we know, I call her dad. I still feel mixed with it. Father's Day is difficult too, but for other reasons. There is a Parents Day, but it's not commercialized or played up much.
I got sidetracked yesterday, so I didn't get to blogging. That's ok. It'll be fine if I only get to it during the week.
It's been hot today and yesterday. Today was close to 90. Definitely not our norm for this time of year.
I slept in later than I planned to today. Had such a hard time sleeping last night, but was able to sleep soundly for a few hours this morning. Tasha liked that I had my window open, and decided to stay perched up there for a while. Rosie cried more. I think they both fought a few times throughout the night, too. It was a little too warm, although there was a slight cool breeze. The right side of my abdomen had more pain than the other. It was more like a pressurized type of pain. Difficult to sleep with, too.
Yesterday, both Dad and I went to a Thai place for lunch with a friend of Dad's and her daughter. It was kind of like a Mother's Day thing that way...Her daughter is genderfluid, I think, and Two-Spirit. So, sometimes she's her son instead of daughter. I find that cool. Since we are both enby, it was also cool to chat about it. The restaurant wasn't very well air conditioned, so it was a little uncomfortable after a while. It was nice talking to them and the food was good. Except for the salad. The dressing was a little weird. Very plain, too.
After the restaurant, I dropped off my leftovers, and we both went to Starbucks. I got a huge chocolate chip cookie and iced chai. There weren't many people there. They're known to have their ac on blast even when it's not hot, so it was the perfect place to go.
We don't have ac at home. Usually, there's one room downstairs that stays relatively cool. Once it hits about 90 out, it starts to warm up, though. My room upstairs gets the hottest. I can't stand having my desktop on in this weather because it makes that room even hotter. It's like walking into an oven. Probably not good for my computer, either.
Today, I didn't get to writing Alliance 3 or the cookbook, since it was already warming up when I woke up. All of it's on my computer. I should be able to get to those Wednesday and on, according to the current forecast. Tuesday's supposed to not be as hot as today, but it's still up there. So, I'm unsure about it. Probably won't go for one of my walks later today, either.
I did get to my German today. It was a spirituality lesson. I felt a little uneasy when I saw the title. If it was religious stuff, I'd have issues with it. Instead it was more on the supernatural and phrases. Like, 'cats have nine lives'. Also, the word for ghost or spirit is 'geist', which makes sense when I think of things like 'poltergeist'. I had started to go through the next lesson, but my phone kept crashing. So, I just stopped there.
Ao no (Blue) Exorcist's manga finally had an update. Although, it wasn't technically the next chapter. Somewhat like an in between one. No questions were answered. In fact, it just added more. We still don't know what Shiemi is, and yet they keep teasing us about it. Amaimon recently found out, and was pissed he wasn't told before. He's had an odd attraction towards her, and it confused him in the passed. There's a fan theory that she's like Mother Earth, and since Amaimon is the Demon Lord of the Earth, they're supposed to get together. I'm not sure about that. He has been a real jerk to her in the past. Shiemi did realize that she (romantically) loves Rin. I really thought they were going to make her aro or something. She's not into romance, and has constantly asked people what it was like to fall in love. It just confused her more. While I like them together, I thought it could have been a strong platonic relationship. Not romantic. They played it off as she was just too naive or slow about it. I know Rin confessed to her, but she didn't have to fall for him like that, too. It's just disappointing. Maybe she's demiromantic? If that's the case, it's a little better in my eyes.
Didn't feel like drawing today. Something about the heat makes me not want to do much. I'm able to blog today through an app on my phone, so no need for my computer to be on for it. Although, this app isn't the best.
Watched a Korean movie called Psychokinesis. It was funnier than I expected. A guy gains the ability of psychokinesis after drinking mountain water that had something alien fall into it. He uses his ability to save his estranged daughter. Some of it was really hokey, but I think it was meant to be. The villain played her part well, and he got back at her in an epic way.
Watched more of Devils Line on Saturday. It's better than I expected. The 'devils' are vampires. It's more mature than most vampire anime. They're not romanticized, which is good to see.
On Saturday, I watched Boku no (My) Hero Academia. With this current season, it's getting better and better. It seems Deku and the other heroes stopped the villains' plans. They were sent there to capture Bakugo. They fell on the one that got him and another student. The only problem is they ended up landing right where the villains were regrouping at the end of the episode. I can see why they'd want Bakugo. He seems like a wild card. Not entirely like a hero or a villain. He used to bully Deku after all. He seems to only care about himself and beating everyone. I think he's more complicated than that, though. He wants to go against people who are giving their all as well. If he won a match, but thought the other opponent didn't take it as seriously as him, he gets pissed and doesn't acknowledge it. He tried to refuse an award because of that type of scenario last season. He has some standards.
Watched One Piece last night. Luffy finally defeated Doflamingo, and the Birdcage came down. Rather satisfying to see him lose. His sunglasses broke, but they still refused to show his eyes. Makes me wonder if there was something wrong with them. The marines actually apologized to the former king of Dressrosa for letting Doflamingo take over. That's rare. They're often shown as very corrupt in this series. To own up to it is big.
I feel kind of mixed up with my gender dysphoria. I think because my mind tries to frame it in a binarist way. It's hard not to when the binary is strictly enforced by society. There was a poem someone wrote recently in the enby group on fb. It was about feeling like a weird patchwork doll. I don't think they're agender, but I could still relate to a lot of it. Being very dysphoric about my chest, people would think I'd want to be more masculine. Dysphoric about facial hair, more feminine. Loving my long hair, which is considered 'feminine'. Wanting my ovaries and such out is seen as 'masculine'. I'm not sure about other parts of me, but with this alone...it's weird looking at it in a binary way. When I look at it from just an agender perspective, it makes sense. However, I can't shake that weirdness. It doesn't help that medical transition stuff isn't very well known for enby people. There isn't really a 'standard' like for binary trans people. Almost everything is centered on them. That's great that they've made so many strides to get where they are now (really amazing!), but enby people are so much further behind with that stuff. I think we're making some headway, at least. If I were to go through KP's gender health program, they still might be able to help. It would be like feeling around in the dark, though. Interesting to think about in the future. I'm still iffy about coming out to my primary, since I don't trust her. If she has a bad reaction, I would have more reason to drop her.
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