15th of Tammuz

I decided I'll try something a little different with my books. I'm taking 3 of the ebook versions out of Amazon's Select program. It's a program only for the ebooks that helps promote them. You get 2 different promo 'tools' to use on them for each 3-month term. It also puts them in their 'library', which people can borrow and with each page read the author gets something from it. (Not much, though.) They also suggest them more. The thing is...if you enroll them in that it has to be exclusive to Amazon. You can't have it at any other retailer. It cuts the audience down. I also don't think it's working much. Although, I think they're keeping me from seeing how much I'm selling because I haven't switched to direct deposit into a bank account. It's set to checks, but they don't use checks in the US anymore. I probably should change that soon to make sure. 

Anyways, those 3 will be: Alliance, Alliance: Dawn, and Sweet Endless Terror. They're the oldest. I'm keeping them on Amazon (just not with Select). Both versions will be there. I'll publish them to Smashwords. They'll most likely be approved for their Premium Catalog, so it can be distributed to a lot of other retailers. Retailers like Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, etc. They have a lot more than when I published last through them. They also will promote a series more. I'll have both the first book and sequel to Alliance on there this way. That'll help. Some retailers have higher royalties, too. I can't put them up on Smashwords until their terms are up. That'll be in August. 

I'll keep the memoir and cookbook in Select for now. When I'm done with Alliance 3 and it's published, I'll take the memoir off of Select. Eventually, that'll go to Smashwords, too. I think with every new book, I'll take an old one off of Select and publish it to Smashwords as well. It could be a nice little system this way. I could still use Amazon's promo tools this way. I could technically only do this after writing so many books. I'm going to take advantage of them. I just have to keep track of what's in Select and how long their terms are. 

Wrote more of Alliance 3 today. I would have gotten more done, but I was blanking a lot. The weird thing is I have so many more ideas for later in the story. Word wasn't acting up, either. Yay!

Went through the Measure unit for Chinese. They use different measure words for things like people, animals, food, drinks, etc. Also, they seem to not use digits like 1, 2, 3. Instead, they use the characters for those: 一 (yī), 二 (èr), 三 (sān). They use liang for 2 people instead of er. Kind of like we use 'couple' sometimes. It looks a bit weird with phone numbers just in those characters. Interesting, though. Next, it's the Money unit. I was ok with pronunciation this time. Had a few perfect sentences, and the rest were very close. They've added speaking back what you've heard without it written out. As well as answering a question with saying the correct choice given. A little more difficult, but seems like a good way to learn it, too. 

Yesterday I started reading the manga, Choujin Gakuen or Supernatural Academy. It's been interesting so far. I might go into it more next time. Read more of Helck today. Not much went on other than quite a bit of dialog. Asuta's fine, at least. She's still imprisoned. 

Managed to get to cleaning my bathroom today. Yay! Finished cleaning the toilet. Next will be the tub/shower area. 

I've kept up grooming Rosie with the mitt. Her lumps are all slowly coming to the surface. I clipped off one of the biggest clumps a couple of weeks ago with scissors, because it was so close to just falling off. Some of the others are getting to that point now. Her fur is so nice, soft, and shiny. It's really helped her, and I think she knows it. I think she thinks of it like some humans might think of going to the spa for a massage. She loves it and becomes very relaxed afterwards. I also inked Doina's head from Alliance. I'll edit the 3 newest heads in Photoshop and post them soon.

I've been keeping up with being strict with my calories and such. (Started going back to this Monday.) I've set my daily calorie range to 1200-1600. I'm trying to shoot for the middle of it (1400) most of the time. Of course, during the weekend I'll allow myself to eat as much as I want, since they're my treat days. It's interesting to figure this stuff out beforehand through MyFitnessPal. I still can have quite a decent amount of food throughout the day. I'm always surprised by how much I can eat of certain things this way. Like, the carrot cake slice I got recently is supposed to be a single serving. It's about 800 calories, though. So, I've been having a quarter of it each time. (4 servings for something that's supposed to be one...It just amazes me.) Down to the last one, and it might be a little stale. Many things are going to make more servings than what's listed, while eating this way. I'm doing slightly better with protein lately, too. Still trying to watch the other nutrients and keep it more balanced. I'm 'documenting' a lot of this on Instagram. I've done it before in the past. I keep thinking people will think it's annoying and stop following. I've found the opposite to be true. I've been getting a lot more likes and follows. I guess people like this sort of thing. 

National Chocolate Pudding Day!

I love chocolate pudding. Interesting that there's a day for it. It's very filling and soothing. Other puddings I like are: butterscotch, Oreo, and vanilla. 

There's another thing I forgot to mention on here. Last Thursday, Navient finally approved my IBR or Income Based Repayment plan application. Yay! Don't have to even think about it for a year. Then, I just have to reapply to renew it annually. That way they can see if there have been any changes in income, and adjust it accordingly. I don't have to pay anything this year, or for the rest of the plan if I don't make enough. Once the plan's time is up, whatever is left is forgiven. So, it goes away. It's like wiping the slate clean. They said only half of the applicants are approved for this plan. Makes it even better. Having to reapply once a year isn't bad. It eases my mind a bit.

Yesterday I went back to keeping a record of what I eat, calories, nutrients, etc. through MyFitnessPal's app. Went back to the set daily calorie range of 1200-1600 again. Of course, I'll also allow myself to have a bit more during the weekends. They're my treat days. I'm also focusing on my protein (I never get enough), sugar (with Pride stuff it's been a little high, but normally it's lower than what I should be having), and sodium (usually low on this, too). It's a balancing act that I haven't quite mastered. I want to be better about it, though. I have to remember that when I eat out and I get something that won't last as leftovers, it's ok to not eat it all. This would be with things like: ice cream, shakes, really messy burgers, fettuccine Alfredo (gets nasty the next day). Also, getting something when I'm pretty far from home. (Might not keep well after the car ride back home.) Everything comes in huge sizes at restaurants, and even with just getting stuff at the market. It's crazy. Difficult sometimes, too. It's set up so if you don't want to eat a lot, you end up wasting food most of the time. Either that or you overeat so much it's painful. Not good either way. Sure, most of the time I can make leftovers of things, but you have to split it up and make sure you eat the rest of it right away. When I eat like this, I tend to make quite a bit of leftovers. I have to think about that more, too. However, eating like this has always made me feel better and healthier. Even before I had any symptoms of colitis. It helps a lot in a different way with that, too. 

Did much better with Chinese today. Went through the Question + Answer unit. Almost every speaking exercise I did was perfect. These are usually full sentences. I thought my pronunciation would be off, but it was spot on according to them. It's cool to see 'perfect' keep popping up for those. They also have an option to play back your pronunciation. I don't like hearing myself, but that seems useful with trying to improve on it. I seem to be having a little difficulty with remembering how to draw some of the characters. It's like I forget a few strokes for some. A few I'm already familiar with because of learning Japanese. Still, not many of those have shown up yet. I've been hearing 'shénme' (or 什么) a lot in some of the dramas I've watched on Netflix. It sounded like 'shema' (or שמע). The shema is one of the most important prayers in Judaism, and lit. means 'hear'. So, it sounded interesting to hear to me. Turns out in Chinese 什么 is 'what'. They put it at the end of a question. I must have been hearing a lot of whats...I also have the simplified Chinese keyboard on my phone now. That's interesting. It has both the pinyin and characters. Haven't really used it much. 

I'm getting more used to the tones, too. Using it over 'a', there are 4: ā, á, ǎ, à. First one is 'leveled', second is going up, third is down and up, and fourth is down. I sometimes say the u-like (or is it more of a v?) one too quickly, and it ends up sounding like one of the others. I liked how they showed them with hills at the beginning. Their mascot seems to be an old wise-looking man. He was trying to go uphill, walking across a flat plane, stuck in the middle of a valley, and falling downhill. It was cute and funny. I just realized, the dot on the 'i' for the pinyin with tones disappears and the tone marks replace it, so it looks a little odd. Normal: i, with a tone: ī. The next unit is Numbers, and after that there's a 'checkpoint' like what Duolingo has. 

Read more of the manga Alive. They plan to steal the Heart of Akuro. Supposedly Hirose is fused inside it. The US military found it and is keeping it in a lab on a base in Japan. Taisuke beat him, survived, but had amnesia. A big family, some with powers, helped him for 2 years. The 'mom' seems really suspicious. Once he saw Yuuta, Nami, and his sister again, he got his memories back. No one knows what happened to Megu and Katsumata. 

Did the usual miscellaneous cleaning. Hope to get back to cleaning my bathroom next time. I'll probably get to inking Doina and posting those 3 tomorrow. 

12th of Tammuz

I forgot to mention that I recently got Celestial Seasonings Vanilla Honey Chamomile tea. It also has orange peel in it. It's surprisingly good and calming. Sweet, but not too sweet. Plus, there are no calories (like most bagged tea). It's like magic. The blends are fun to try.

From Friday to Sunday there were Pride events. So many it was overwhelming to hear about them all. I went to the Seattle Trans Pride with Dad on Friday. We marched in the parade, went through the booths, and listened to live music. 

There were so many people! I thought I would see more people I knew. There were only a handful of them. It was cool to meet new people. One person named Yael marched next to me and chatted. They were probably a little too chatty. They might have been nervous, though. 

There was one person who kept telling me to smile just before we started marching. I 'naturally' smile all the time. In fact, my face sometimes hurts from smiling by the end of the day. I don't see how I could smile even more. Another thing is it reminded me of what's expected of women. They're expected to be smiling. If they're not, they're considered to be bitchy/moody. That's so wrong, though. It felt like she was assuming I was a woman, which adds a special layer of awfulness to it. Another side of this is the march is somewhat bittersweet. We're celebrating who we are. However, it's also a march for trans rights and then some. It's understandable if someone doesn't want to smile for it. It seems like  something someone outside of the community would say.

I loved seeing the diversity of people there. People of color, those with disabilities, people of different sizes from heavy-set to very thin ones, people of all ages, different styles of dress, etc. The signs were interesting, too. 

I waved my genderqueer (or GQ) flag, too. People asked me about it, got it confused with the non-binary (or nb or enby) flag, and some were really happy to see it. The GQ flag is lavender for androgyny or queerness, white for agender and neutrois, and green for all the other genders outside of the binary. GQ is older than enby, and they're essentially the same. At some point, some people had issues with the word 'queer' (understandable), so enby was created as an alternative. A lot of people, including me, like both. I saw a few people with GQ and enby flags. One person had an GQ flag as big as my ace flag. (3' x 5'.) They wore it like a cape. That was cool. Another person had body glitter paint on their back in the enby flag colors. One person saw my flag and told me they walked next to me because they thought it was the enby flag. They had an enby-related sign. I can't remember what it said, but it was something like enby people deserve respect and their lives matter. I think part of it referred to someone who was recently killed for being enby, too. (It was a long sign.) It was nice to hear that they specifically stood next to me because of my flag. Even if they mistook it for the enby one. It still fits.

A couple of people asked me what agender was when I was more specific. Some people looked confused when I said I don't have a gender. When I told someone I'm 3 of the A's (aro ace and agender), they asked: "So you're like grey-ace?" For some reason being all the way on the ace side was harder for her to grasp. How could I never experience sexual attraction to anyone? That was interesting considering so many people don't even think about the grey area. 

I think there were more booths than last time. We didn't even peek at the food trucks. (Therefore, I don't know how many there were.) It was great to see. I got so much candy from the vendors. It was like Halloween. Lots of pens, too. The pencils from the PFLAG booth looked cool. They're in Pride colors, but the colors fade into each other and have a metallic look. 

There were a lot of pronoun buttons. I got some they/them ones. Right now, my pronouns are she/her and they/them. I don't feel either completely 'fit' me though. I said something similar in the enby group on fb when someone asked ours. Someone commented: "Been there!" Doesn't really help...At least, I know I'm not alone with it. 

There were some very informative stuff there. There was an ACLU handbook on trans rights in Washington. I still haven't read through it. Good to have and know, though. I didn't know there was such a thing called Queer Scouts. They're an adult group that gets together to watch LGBTQ+ movies and have events. Gay City had quite a lot of info. Even a list people could look up for their resources and groups. There were some counseling groups. The Seattle library branch had a list of DVDs they have of trans related movies/docs. A lot of stuff. 

We were going to eat dinner at Anapurna like last year. However, the line was much longer. They told us it would be 30 minutes. We left at the 30-minute mark. Apparently they were ready for us roughly 30 minutes later. An hour long wait altogether. Too long. We got something from the ferry's galley, and ate there. The sandwich was a little too dry, but ok. The cranberry orange bread was really good. I don't drink soda that often, but I got a Crush. It was packed with sugar, too. Wahoo! I was craving it, though. The shlep there and back took a lot out of me. 

I was still tired the next day, but went to the Bainbridge Island Pride Picnic anyways. It wasn't like the Kitsap one. More like a Pride fest. However, they have one next month. There were vendors, but most weren't LGBTQ+ related. It's good they were there in support, I guess. There was live music, too. The was a food truck for Wok n Roll. I got pot-stickers and a strawberry mint lemonade. Those were good. The Papa Murphy's Pizza booth were just selling soda. There was a local bakery booth. Their display looked enticing. I got their brownie. It was amazing! More like actual fudge dusted with powdered sugar. 

Yesterday was Seattle Pride. Both our local Pride org and the Seattle Aces wanted me to march with them. I can't be in 2 places at once...I was still tired from Trans Pride. Plus, it gets incredibly crowded. It was the first time the Seattle Aces were marching in it. They know I'm interested in the group, so they invited me to everything they had related to it. Even their afterparty. This year the local Pride org had a float that looked like a ferry. (I think it was only their 2nd time in the parade.) Dad and I watched most of it through Kiro 7's live-feed. (They're a local news station.) I think I heard that it ended up being the largest Pride parade in the country. A lot more people watching on the sidelines than last year, too. I'm glad I wasn't actually there. I did see the ace group, but didn't see our local Pride org. Saw pics afterwards, at least. The next Pride thing I might go to is marching with the Pride group in a local 4th of July parade. I'll definitely get my aro ace Pride shirt before then. Not sure if I'll wear that or this year's local org's shirt.  

I went back to writing Alliance 3 today. Didn't get much of it done, because Word was being really slow. It was frustrating. 

Went through the Food unit for Chinese. Half the time I went through their review. If you don't do anything in the app every day, the plant starts to die and the leaves next to the completed units turn brown. I hadn't been on it for 3 days. It looked sad. Also, my pronunciation seemed worse. Probably because I hadn't done it for 3 days, too. I still passed all the new stuff. I find it's fun and addicting to learn. German was fun too, but this seems more so. Their h's seem close to the Hebrew ch, too. 

Finished reading the manga, +Anima. It was surprisingly good. I wasn't expecting much from it. I feel bad for what Cooro had to go through now. He's the main character who befriended 3 other +anima, and they traveled together. There was even less info on him than the others for most of it. He apparently was born a +anima. There was speculation that he was 'artificial', created in the research center. Instead, his mother died while giving birth to him. As a newborn, he wanted to survive so much that he saw a bunch of crows gathering around him, reached out to them, and became a crow +anima at the moment. He obviously didn't remember this. Towards the end, he went to the place where his mother died, and the crows were gathering there just like before. Even though he had his +anima surgically removed, as soon as he saw them something clicked and he gained it back. He became emotional, like on some level he knew what happened. His mission was to gather +anima so Fry could research them and steal their +anima. Cooro never wanted to go back to the research facility. Fry gave himself Cooro's +anima, but he lost it when Cooro got it back. It's implied that he died. I'm not sure I like that or not. I think he was misunderstood. 

I mostly just got to the miscellaneous cleaning stuff. I did finish drawing Doina's head from Alliance. Took me a while to get it decent. Might be because I haven't been drawing on a regular basis for a while. Next, I'll ink and post Tzvi, Antonio, and Doina's heads to dA and Instagram. 

Went back to watching Bad Guys on Netflix. It's a Korean detective series. There are 3 convicts asked to help solve cases in exchange for shorter sentences. All of them, including the lead detective, seem damaged in some way. The only one that might not be is the female assistant to the lead. She's really tough herself, though. The convicts methods are ruthless, but they don't seem 'evil'. Just horribly misunderstood. The 'scariest' one is the young psychopath. He doesn't remember any of his murders. He supposedly blacks out during them. In fact, he hired a pi at one point to keep an eye on himself to see if he really does kill people. He may have been set up just because of who he is. Another one kills any man who abuses women. The other one seems to just be caught up with the wrong people. They're all strong. The psychopath is also incredibly bright and tends to solve big parts of the cases that others just can't see. The lead detective hates following the rules, and is pretty violent himself. He refers to himself and the convicts as wild dogs that have been starved and beaten by society. It's interesting to see their different perspectives on the cases. It's really interesting. The cinematography is gorgeous. All the main actors are incredibly attractive looking, too. There's a lot of dark humor. 

8th of Tammuz

A few days ago, I noticed that I only had roughly 350 mb left of available storage on my phone. Not much. I thought about deleting apps to make space, yet I don't have that many apps on it. Then, I decided to delete and redownload the largest sized apps to see what would happen. Facebook was the biggest space sucker, which was just over 1 gb. Interestingly, after doing this with several apps, it freed up a ton of space. A little over 3 gb's. It's running much smoother now. I'll have to remember this next time I get the notification that it's low. 

Duolingo's Chinese course isn't very good. The German course was a lot better developed. Chinese is a tonal language, so you'd think they'd have more speaking exercises for that than German. No, they don't have any. They just spew out a bunch of vocabulary, spring sentences on you early without breaking them down, and there's no writing out what you hear in Chinese. Sure, they write out the pinyin (romanization of characters) for the characters and they have you match the sound, but that's not much. I did learn a little bit, but not much this way. So, I searched for reviews of other apps. 

HelloChinese sounded the best, so I got it. It's free, too. It looks similar to Duolingo. There's a trek through the course with bubbles for units. They start with a Pronunciation unit. They go through an intro for pinyin, syllables, and tones. They really break that stuff down. They also have you pronounce things as you go. They let you hear every part if you tap the pinyin. I missed a few, but still passed the quiz for it. I'm actually surprised how many I got right. Especially with the speaking part. Next, I went through Basics 1. This was quite different than the first, and seems to be the setup for the rest of them. They introduced vocab like: mama (mother), baba (father), wo (I/me), ni (you), shi (is/are/am), etc. They did it with 'cards' similar to what Duolingo does. There are sentences to translate. A lot of speaking exercises. There are video recordings of native Chinese people speaking. (They have normal and slowed down speeds.) You have to pick which sentence they said in Chinese. You also get to draw the characters. Has a lot of good stuff packed into it. Types of stuff most language learning apps should have. Hopefully, they'll have a typing in Chinese part soon. That would be good. I apparently did so well in Basics 1, I didn't have to do the last part of it. They put a leaf on it after I passed it. It looks like there's a plant that grows as you progress. Next, is Basics 2. They also have a training game. I haven't played it yet, but it sounds interesting. I'll go through their course, then switch to another language in Duolingo. 

I finally decided on a pride shirt. I ordered the Aro Ace Get Out of My Face one. It has skulls, arrows, a spade, etc. It looks a lot cooler than most of the others. A lot of the aro ace stuff is cutesy. While I like that sometimes, I'd rather have something that looked badass. It should be delivered by the 27th. I won't be able to wear it at a few events in between, but there are a couple later. I'll also have something I can wear year round. I wanted that even more. The only pride shirts I have right now are the local Pride organization's official shirts for the last 2 years. That's not really specific to my 'identities' though. Going to get a 3rd shirt from them later today. I like them, and they're good for general Pride stuff. I just want to be out as aro ace and agender as well. I didn't find any good agender pride shirts. It's like we're even more invisible than aros and aces. 

Tomorrow is Seattle Trans Pride. I liked that a lot last year. There's a parade we march in that meets back up into a park. The park has vender booths and live music. I'll get to bring my little genderqueer flag this time. It was nice to see people I hadn't seen in a while. There were so many marchers last year, and it was cool to see the people on the sides cheering us on. 

The 2nd local Pride picnic we're going to is on Saturday. Then, there's Seattle Pride on Sunday. I'm unsure if I want to be in that parade. Last year, it was really hot, had to climb a steep hill to get to the 'staging area' to meet up with the group, and it was really crowded. This year it's supposed to be much cooler, so that's one plus this time. I can use my little genderqueer flag instead of my huge ace one. A little better. The local Pride group will also be in a local 4th of July parade. I'm unsure of this one, too. There's the local Pride fest towards the end of next month. 

I'm thinking of dropping Bordertown. I still can't tell if I've watched the whole thing, and it's not that great either. Even though I only saw one episode of Bad Guys, it was much better. 

International Picnic Day!

This holiday was on Monday. Such a summer thing. Perfect for this time of year. I'll be going to another Pride picnic on Saturday. Seems like it'll be a bigger to-do than the last one. There will be live music, food trucks, and various vendor booths. Sounds fun. It was also National Sushi Day. I love kappamaki and tekkamaki, or cucumber and tuna rolls. Egg ones are good, too. (Just not as great as those.) There are a lot of different types of sushi out there I can't have. Some I just hate the ingredients of. Like, California rolls. So, I might seem picky when it comes to sushi.

I didn't blog the last couple of days because of the heat. I went to a couple of places to cool off on Monday. Wasn't thinking much about blogging while out. It got up to 90 degrees. That's too warm for me. 80 degrees is usually the cutoff point for it being too warm for me. The hottest temp I've experienced was close to 120 degrees in Scottsdale, Arizona. At least it's not like that here. Yesterday, it got up to around the same temp. Today is supposed to be a little cooler, although it's heating up pretty quickly. Tomorrow and on looks like it'll be much nicer. Ranging in the high 60s to 70s. 

When in any vehicle (cars, ferries, planes, etc.) while in motion, I've always had a hard time staying awake. As soon as I feel that motion, I have a strong urge to sleep. I can't control it, and it's gotten worse over time. Loud music doesn't help. Sometimes digging my nails into my skin or having an exciting conversation might slightly help. However, those aren't very effective most of the time. I'm starting to worry a bit about it, so I searched for something like it online. I didn't think I'd find anything. 

There was one thing that has the same symptoms: sopite syndrome. It was originally discovered through various experiments by the military. It's a type of motion sickness. I didn't realize there were other types. When I hear 'motion sickness', I think of someone that gets nauseous and may throw up. I've never felt 'sick' or nauseous because of it. With this one, most people don't. If they don't fall asleep, they may become drowsy, groggy, depressed, or cranky. I usually feel really drowsy, groggy, and rarely might feel irritated. So, it certainly sounds like me. I'm thinking of bringing this up with my primary the next time I see her. I didn't realize it might actually be a thing. Just something weird that I would do. 

It's different than when people fall asleep because of how long the trip is, they're fatigued from other things, the constant (supposedly) white noise in the background, it's too monotonous, etc. All that would be 'normal'. This will hit me right away, and I can't control it. It happens whether I'm fatigued beforehand or not. I've actually felt refreshed and awake just before it happens. Doesn't matter if there's interesting scenery or not. There were a couple of relatives who tried to relate to it on fb, and I do like that they tried, but it wasn't the same. They started talking amongst themselves about sleep apnea at one point. Aside from the 'sleep' part, that had nothing to do with sopite syndrome...

Wanted to get back to writing Alliance 3 this week, but since it's been so hot, I've kept my desktop off. My room gets warmer with it on, and that room gets the hottest in the house. I guess I'll get to it either at the end of this week or next week. I have a lot of ideas for it, though. 

Started learning Chinese through Duolingo on Monday. I had gone through all of their course for German, and at least half the units were at level 3 or above. I felt I needed to try something different. I've always been curious about Chinese. I think it's Mandarin specifically. They don't actually say. I know there are many different dialects, and Mandarin is one of the most common. 

The first one was on hello, goodbye, and good. They had the transliteration for them, too. The accents on those words reminded me of Hebrew trope. In fact, hearing the way they're pronounced, made sense that way. It's very interesting. Without the accents, hello is nihao. Hao is good. Zaijian is goodbye. Also, went through the first Numbers unit. 1, 2, 3 is yi, er, san. (3 is the same as in Japanese.) I probably should get the Chinese keyboard. Started the Names unit yesterday. This one has been a little more difficult. I know they use the surname first system, but in Duolingo you have to switch it to the surname being last when you translate it. Also, they're going over saying 'you are (name)' and 'I am (name)'. For this they lit. say 'call' instead. So, it's like 'you're called...' or 'I'm called...' It's a little awkward. 

I'm also doing things a little differently with this one. I've decided that I'll start each time with going over more levels from previous units, then continue. They didn't have the 5-level system when I started German. So, this might be a better way to incorporate them. Plus, it'll be like I'm keeping the previous stuff 'fresh'. So far, they've only used a male voice and no illustrations of people. That might be different after I get past the beginner's stuff. With German, the main speaker seemed female. They haven't gone over the pronunciation part yet, where they tell you to repeat what was said into the mic. Maybe that'll be later, too. I would think that's even more important for a tonal language. Also, they don't seem to go over as much grammar as German. At least looking at the visible units. That's interesting. There might not be as much to their grammar. After Names there's Greetings 2, Food 1, and Occupation. That's the end of the first section. I don't think German had a food unit until at least the 2nd section. The occupation one was even later in the trek. Interesting to see how this one goes. 

Finished watching The Break. I correctly predicted who the killer was towards the beginning. It seemed really drawn out. I'm watching Bordertown on Netflix now. It's a Finnish detective show. There's some Russian spoken as well, since it takes place in a 'border town' between Finland and Russia. I already watched some of it a long time ago, but it wasn't through my account. So, I wasn't sure where I stopped. I'm about halfway through it. It still feels like I've watched the 'current' stuff already. Maybe I've actually watched the whole thing already? Oh well. I'll finish it soon again. Next will be the Korean show Bad Guys. I've seen the first episode of that, and it was good. It'll be interesting to go back to. 

2nd of Tammuz

Yesterday was Rosh Chodesh Tammuz, or the beginning of the month of Tammuz. It's a women's holiday. Also a moon based holiday, since we have a lunar calendar. All of the days/holidays start at night, and new months are supposed to correspond with the new moon. I don't think there are any big holidays in Tammuz. I could be blanking on them, though.

Got a response back from the congregation we used to be members of. The admin said they'll add a note to the weekly newsletter. Yay! They'll get a chance to see it. The other congregation hasn't responded yet. Hopefully they'll put it in their newsletter, too. Had very few responses to the AVEN thread. At least, some people have seen it on there, too. I was going to post in other forums and possibly in old online blogs/journals, but decided to give it a bit of a break. Might do that on Sunday. I don't know. 

I'm planning to go back to writing Alliance 3 on Monday. I have many more ideas, and I'm itching to continue. I have other book ideas, but I think I should finish this one before I start another. 

Finished leveling up all of the Basics 2 for German. There was a lot to that one. It was good to go over more of the basics. I was getting a bit rusty with what this one covered. I'm able to pick up more patterns than I did when I started. Plus, they've been repeating a lot with each level in each 'unit'. Apparently, most things that are plural have the feminine the or die (dee). So, the women would be: die Frau (dee Frow), the boys: die Jungen (dee Yung-en), the children: die kinder (dee kindehr), etc. It covered the words for 'are' well, too. Seid (Zyet) seems to only be used with ihr (eer) or you. (You are... would be ihr seid...) Sind (Zint) is used for everything else. Interesting. For the more advanced units I wasn't paying much attention to these things. The first Phrases unit will be next. I find those usually are fun. Maybe the other levels will be different for that one.

Read more of the manga, Hajimete no Aku or My First Devil. I don't like that they paint Jiro as naive or an idiot, because he doesn't think about romance or care. Seems arophobic. It seems to me that he might actually be aro. It's not his fault many of the girls have a romantic thing for him. It's like his family is trying to push amatonormativity on him. I also don't like the aspect that Jiro and Kyouko are both cousins. His side of the family is really pushing for them to get together. The 'slice of life' stuff has been humorous, though. I find it odd that Jiro is supposed to be evil, but he says that they have to be kind to civilians. The 'good' people in the story seem a lot more evil. 

I only got to the cat stuff and laundry for cleaning today. Hopefully I can get to more of my bathroom next week. Rosie wanted me to keep grooming her with the mitt after my arm tired out. I started to walk away and she tried to reach out to me. She has claws, but I think she forgets sometimes. She followed me for a while, too. Seemingly hoping to be groomed more. 

I finally broke through the 800th episode mark for One Piece last night. Yay! I've got 40 more to go in order to catch up to current episodes. I've gone through about 18 years worth of it in about 2 years. (Usually, there are 4 episodes a month.) I skipped the fillers, but there hasn't been many. It won't take me long to catch up. I like it a lot. There are some unique elements to it, some homages to other anime/books, and most of the characters are lovable.  The only thing I haven't liked is that the opening and recap take about 6 minutes. So, you end up with roughly 15-17 minutes per episode. I usually skip that beginning stuff. It doesn't seem long enough.

The current arc I'm on has to do with Big Mom. She's one of the pirate emperors. She loves sweets. So much she's turned her country into various islands that are sweets or snacks based. There's a chocolate one where everything is made of out of chocolate. There are even juice rivers. She lives on Whole Cake Island, and it's cake based. There seems to be a lot of Alice in Wonderland nods with the Seducing Forest right next to her castle. There's even a white rabbit, and a mirror devil fruit eater who can travel and trap people in mirrors. Her mirror dimension is trippy, too. One of Big Mom's ex-husbands looks a bit like Humpty-Dumpty from Alice in Wonderland. (He somehow reminded me of something from Monty Python, as well.) One of the enemies that's giving Luffy a hard time ate the biscuit devil fruit, and can make armored biscuit soldiers. Some of it reminds me of Disney stuff, especially when Big Mom sang a few times. Big Mom has had around 150 children with many different fathers. Maybe that's why she's always hungry? Germa, Sanji's father, has had about 66 children. Sanji's the 3rd son. San means 3. Most of Germa's children are men. The only exception, I think, has been Reiji. Rei means zero. His family abused him horribly in the past. No wonder he never brought them up. The Straw Hats' (Luffy's crew) plan was to rescue Sanji, and get a rubbing from Big Mom's poneglyph. Poneglyphs are big stone blocks that have ancient writing on it. The one she has might have partial directions to Raftel where One Piece supposedly is at or near. Robin, a member of the Straw Hats, is one of the few that can decipher them. She's not with Luffy at the moment, thus why they're trying to get a rubbing from it. She also has been deciphering them to learn about the 100-year gap that the government doesn't want people to know. That entire history has been erased except for these blocks. I think Luffy, along with the members that went with him, are actually going to have to battle Big Mom. They didn't want to fight anyone. She's one of the most powerful characters.

National Strawberry Shortcake Day!

Strawberry shortcake reminds me of summer, so it's perfect for this time of year. Also, reminds me of fair food. I don't think the big local fairs are until July and/or August. A couple of weeks ago I had a strawberry shortcake cake. It had the same elements: strawberries (in jam form), whipped cream, and cake, but put together in cake form. Normally, they're layered, and not put together like that. It was good. The best ones I had were at the fair and they used a scone for the cake layer. I think they used really thick whipped cream, too. It was amazing! 

Created a thread promoting my cookbook on AVEN's forums. (AVEN is Asexual Visibility and Education Network.) I thought it'd be best in their celebration forum. Since, I am happy about it. I think it's something to celebrate. Haven't had a reaction yet. Also, posted a status about it on there. Nothing on that yet, either. I later posted a status about it on Arocalypse. (An aro-based community. Similar to AVEN.) The forums on there aren't very active, and they have a tiny fraction of members compared to AVEN. Sometimes the statuses get a bit more attention than the actual forums. I wasn't sure which of their forums would be appropriate to create a thread for it in. They have less sections than AVEN, too.

I also sent emails to both of the local congregations. Since I copied and pasted what I wrote in Notes on my phone, the font came out bigger than usual. Not bad, but surprised me and might look weird to them. I'm not a member of either of them, but most of the members of both knew me and especially my mom. She made a huge impact with both of them. We were 'official' members of one of them for a while. She would run a Judaica shop for them, was on the board for a while, would tutor Hebrew, etc. She and I were both apart of a Rosh Chodesh group that didn't last long (but came back a few times), Hadassah (this was actually a joint group with both congregations), and I think a Kabbalah group that met a long time ago. All this in addition to going to services. Everyone knew her, and most people loved her. She was very knowledgeable about Judaism, so people sometimes went to her instead of the rabbis. I thought they'd both definitely be interested in this. A couple of the recipes are actually emails from members of those groups. So, they may see themselves in it. Plus, there's a huge Passover and Hanukkah section. In general, they might be interested in it just for that. Someone made it a point to tell me that I should email one of the congregations when I published it. (This was face to face during Thanksgiving.) Haven't gotten a response yet. We'll see what they'll do with it. 

Leveled out both Basics 1 and The for German. There are 3 types of 'the's: feminine die (dee), masculine der (dehr), and neutral das (dahs). It was good to review them. I just remembered that mädchen (mayd-chin) or girl actually uses das and not die. So, a girl is neutral and when she becomes a woman she's feminine? Woman is frau (frow), by the way. Kind (kint) or child uses das, as well. That makes more sense. Junge (yung-eh) or boy uses der along with mann (mahn) or man. Those make sense. The only one that doesn't is mädchen...Next is leveling out Basics 2. On Duolingo, I didn't realize that if you pay a certain amount of gems, you can open bonus 'units'. Idioms and proverbs, and flirting are available for those at the moment. I think they show more when you earn a certain amount of gems. I currently have the most I've had at once. I wouldn't care about the flirting one, but the other one sounds good. 

In the manga, Helck, they made it to another demon castle. They finally got a chance to relax. The demon king there imprisoned a winged human. It seems that they want Helck to talk to him soon. They finally went back to Asuta. Several chapters ago, she was caught by the humans, and that was it until now. It looks like they beat her up and handcuffed her to a wall in a prison cell. Nothing more was revealed, but it looks like the next chapter will continue with her side of it. I like Asuta. She loves to wear men's clothes, and hates wearing anything feminine. She's ok with or doesn't really care when people call her a guy or a girl. She seems pretty enby to me, and cool at that. In an 'extra' or side chapter, her sister tried to get her to wear a dress. It was like pulling teeth. With the dress she ended up with, she asked if it looked weird. When she went to the event she was invited to later, people thought she looked like both a prince and princess. In the eyes of her sister, it seems like she couldn't win. 

In addition to the cat stuff, I managed to sweep up my bathroom floor. It doesn't seem like I did it that long ago, yet there was a lot of litter. They seem to go in there a lot. Tried to sweep the big bathroom rug with a brush this time. I think I was somewhat successful with it. At some point, I probably should launder it. It smells gross. I can't smell it when it's on the floor, though. 

Something's going on with the cats. Tasha has made the spot near the door jam to my room as her new spot. She huddles up to that door jam and watches me happily when I'm in my room. She's also been hanging out in a corner of my room (near a bookcase) lately, too. This isn't normal for her. She's normally too scared and thinks my room or anywhere near it is Rosie's territory. She's terrified of Rosie. However, I think that's changing, too. She's not running away when Rosie walks in. Lately, Rosie has only lightly fought back when Tasha socked her in the face. Otherwise, she seems curious about her. They've been lying down much closer to each other than normal, too. Maybe, just maybe, they're finally accepting each other? That would be great. I think Tasha is trying to get closer to me, too. That's one thing Rosie doesn't like. She's incredibly possessive and protective of me. I'm not used to having 2 cats hanging around me this often. I like it, though. 

30th of Sivan

Last night we went Red Lobster to celebrate Dad's birthday. She got a shrimp cocktail and fried calamari. She loves shellfish, so that was good for her. I got one of my faves, maple-glazed chicken. It comes with a salad, which I had bleu cheese dressing with. It also comes with rice pilaf and a choice of another side. I chose mashed potatoes. The maple sauce also has cherries pureed in it. I could drink that stuff. So good! Since Dad doesn't eat cheese, I got all the Cheddar Bay Biscuits to myself. I only had one, and took the rest home. Had half of the entree and salad. Still was filling. We later went to a local international market for chocolate. She got a very dark orange chocolate. I got birthday chocolate. That has milk chocolate on the outside, and white chocolate on the inside with sprinkles. It was like a party in my mouth for dessert. Interesting that I was the one that chose the 'birthday' one. Although, she loves very dark chocolate, so it wouldn't have been her thing. 

There was a troll that showed up in one of the IBD groups on fb. They made a post about it being a disorder and not a disease. (IBD is Inflammatory Bowel Disease.) They wondered why it was called a disease, when (according to them) a disease is something someone 'catches'. They said when they think of that word they think of STDs. People calmly tried to explain it to him numerous times, and he either called them trolls or twisted their words. People also started listing other diseases, and he said that they should be called disorders, too. It was wild how trollish he was being. In a chronic illness group, no less. We're already going through enough. I've never liked the idea that I have a disease, either. It's hard to wrap your head around at first. Doesn't mean it suddenly changes it. Someone mentioned that it essentially boils down to dis-ease, which is true and I've heard that before. At least, most of the members had a sense of humor about it as it continued.

Also, read an article not long after that about how people with IBD were lobotomized in the past. (Some were also subject to electroshock therapy beforehand.) Doctors considered it to be all in the head connected to mental illness or some sort of emotion. Seems like a fraction of the general public still thinks in a similar way. Apparently the first patient (with IBD) to have it done was in 1948. They were still doing it until the late 80's. That's a long time. No one officially apologized, but one doctor apologized to a few of his previous patients privately. I didn't know how the medical community treated it in the past, so it was eyeopening. There were doctors who were completely against it and tried new treatments, instead. Still, it really messed with people. They still had their disease, but they lost their personalities and then some. Awful. It also makes me worry a little about the 'new' idea that the gut microbiom affects the brain. It seems like the opposite, but along a similar way of thinking. It was odd encountering that troll and reading this article right after. 

Made a post on fb about my cookbook's page. Some people have already liked it. I also tweeted about it, and posted it to Tumblr. So, I'm getting the word out slowly. I'll eventually get to online forums, emailing both local congregations, and maybe some of the old blogs/journals I had like livejournal. Probably will think of other places after that. 

Navient emailed me last night mentioning the income-based repayment plan as an option. They didn't mention it before, and I've already applied for it. Weird. This morning, they said they had my application. I just have to wait for them to approve it. They seem behind on things. I wish they had mentioned this plan long before. I don't think it's a good deal for them. The idea that at some point everything that's left (whether I wasn't able to pay any of it, or just partially) will be completely forgiven. It'll be like wiping the slate clean, and they wouldn't get that money back. Also, with me not paying anything in the meantime, probably doesn't look good either. (Not that I was before...) Rates won't go up or anything during that time, too. 

I got through most of the 5th level of the Basics in German. I'm flying through it. Like I mentioned before, they're just repeating the same stuff over and over again. At least, I'm looking at it differently than when I first started, and it's a good refresher on the very simple stuff. 

Finished reading the manga, Bokke-san. It was pretty good. I'm not sure if I completely liked the ending. I won't spoil that, but Hino's estranged brother wasn't even mentioned until the last couple of chapters. Yet, he had a rather major role in it. Seemed odd. It was a feel-good ending. Most of the loose ends were tied up, too. I wish it was longer. It's only 18 chapters or 2 volumes. They could have done a lot more with it. That's another thing, it seemed like a rushed ending. 

The only cleaning I got to this time was the cat stuff. Through grooming Rosie with the mitt, her lumps are slowly coming out. They've turned white. They seem to almost be at the point of being able to just pull them off. I won't use the scissors, but it seems like it'll be easier to cut them off now. Her fur feels so nice, soft, and shiny now. I think she likes it a lot, too. 

Inked in Antonio's head from Alliance. Still not happy with it, but thought I should move on. Started drawing Doina's head. Hopefully, she'll turn out better. The vision of her in my head is cool. 

International Falafel Day!

Falafels are really good! Especially in a pita sandwich with hummus. It was everywhere in Israel, and I think they had the best falafel. Although, I've had some locally that come close. Falafels are basically chickpea patties. Today's my parent's birthday. So happy birthday to her!

According to fb, I came out as agender on there exactly a year ago yesterday. I thought that was in July. I don't think I was exactly sure at the time. Interesting that I realized during Pride month. Perfect time. It felt like a weight off my shoulders just to know. I've learned a lot about myself and the enby community in the last year. I've shared some of that on here already. 

Created an official fb page for the cookbook. There are some things you can only input on desktop. (Like, the ISBN.) Makes it a bit difficult considering I do most online stuff on my phone. The profile pic's of the Passover popover from the cover. Looks kind of funny this way. The cover pic's the Passover almond and cream torte, and its recipe is in there, too. I decided I might post pics of things I've made from it. The ones I have now are mainly from the Passover section. I might make dishes from other sections in the future, and can post them there. It'll be like a way to advertise, yet have fun and showcase what's in it. If it gets big enough, I'll let fans share their pics of dishes made from the cookbook. It'll be a fun little community thing, too. Not sure how often I'll post there at the beginning. I'm thinking of making a status on fb about the page and ask people to like it. 

A few days ago, I finished the German course on Duolingo. However, I've gone back to the beginning and plan to level everything out. That might take a while. The first several somehow were up to level 3 already. Not sure how. I started going through the first Basic 'unit' today. Almost done with it. They have 5 levels each. This last level has 15 parts to it. Quite a lot. I have noticed that they repeat a lot with each level, at least for this one. I started this before Duolingo switched to the 5-level system, so things might be a bit off until I reach the point I was at once that was implemented. That wasn't that far into it. This 'unit' is about things like the different a's for things. Like, eine for woman and ein for girl. (Odd that girl is masc.) Also, the difference between bin and bist, or am and (you) are respectively. They kept repeating wasser (water) and brot (bread). The pronouns er (he), sie (she), and es (it) were really hammered in, too. I'm breezing through it since I already know this stuff. 

Ao no Exorcist, or Blue Exorcist, finally had another update. It's been a couple of months. Rin got to go back 40 years and see his mother as a kid. He never got to meet her because she died as soon as she had him and Yukio. She came from a tough background. A homeless orphan, who the only 'family' she made were also homeless and died in a fire. They most likely were trying to keep warm and the fire got out of control. The Order eventually found her after she snuck into Shiro's (the person who later raised the twins) shed. She was trying to stay warm and find food. As soon as she said that she could see their dog (obviously a demon, and not everyone can see them), they took her. She met Satan while playing house in a junkyard. The only form he took was of blue flames. They said it was before he developed an ego, and his first intelligent interaction. I find this a bit odd considering it was just 40 years ago. He already had sons by then, but it might have been different in his world. It's no wonder he later became interested in her. Should be interesting to see what actually happened to her. 

For cleaning, I managed to finish vacuuming my bedroom. I worry a bit when I here something loud get sucked up. Is it something important? Oh well. The only thing I haven't been able to find is an earring backing, and if that was sucked up it's not a big deal. It was gross when I found a giant mass of hair under my desk, and it just instantly sucked it up. It looked impressive at the same time. So, now my room is the cleanest it's been in a long time. Yay! Next, I'll start with the bathroom stuff again. 

Went back to watching the Break a couple of days ago. It's a Belgian detective show, which is in French. Some of my French came back to me while watching it. It's kind of slow. A lot of staring and aerial shots. Interesting story, though. 

28th of Sivan

Went to our local Pride's picnic yesterday. It was raining heavily most of the time, so we mostly stayed in the lodge. They had a buffet area in the back. There were fruit, veggie trays with ranch, huge foot-long hot dogs, BBQ brisket, bagged single serving chips, baked beans, and more for the lunch part. There were Irish cream bars, cappucino bars, and sugar cookies for dessert. The brisket was really good, as well as the desserts. Dad got a hot dog, and it was so big it couldn't fit in the bun. The chairs were really comfy. I knew a lot of people there. It was nice to talk to some of them. Especially about trans, aro ace, and IBD stuff. (IBD doesn't have to do with the community, except for the fact that some of us have it.) 

Occasionally, there were breaks in the rain, and they had set up campfires with the fixings for s'mores on the side. I just grabbed a cold marshmallow and chocolate. They were out, so...they probably didn't mind. There were a lot of people there. We filled up most of the lodge. It's rather big. They had a live band, but also music coming from the speakers. 

Put out a status on fb yesterday announcing that both versions of the cookbook are out. The main link was to the paperback, since I think most people would want a 'hard' copy of a cookbook. An ebook cookbook might be a bit cumbersome, and you don't want it to get dirty, either...A cousin said she bought it and can't wait to get it. Yay! The paperback's not completely 'connected' to me yet, and people aren't charged until they get it. So, I don't know how many copies I've sold yet. 

However, today I did notice that the paperback does have a ranking. It's not ranked until it sells. So, it's happening. I also don't know if they're keeping sells from me, because I haven't switched to direct deposit into a bank account yet. It's still set to checks. They've stopped supporting checks in the US. I probably should switch soon. Just to see, at the very least. 

I also posted the cover on Instagram. 19 likes for it so far. That's quite a lot for me. Submitted it to dA, too. Posted it to a few groups on there. There were a few faves/collects, and one person commented asking what was on the cover. I mentioned it in the description... 

I embedded the ebook version of it on the left side of this blog. (You can see it in the desktop version.) They don't let you embed the paperback version. Soon the ebook and paperback will be linked together, and you can choose which format on there. So it won't matter much soon. I need to finish Alliance 3 to even out what's on here. It's weird for me to think I've put out 5 books already. I have a lot more ideas for books, besides the Alliance series. Also, the more I put out, the more I'll get noticed. 

Social Security accepted that I am who I said I was today. With that, I applied for the income-based repayment plan through the government. They said I was eligible. If I can't pay it within 25 years, it'll be completely forgiven. That's awesome! Better plan than I thought it was. Won't have to pay a thing unless my income reaches a certain point. I just have to recertify annually. Now, Navient has to ok it. Once they do, it'll take effect soon. 

I'll try to get to more things tomorrow. The application took a little longer than expected, and my computer slowed down/froze a lot. At least I got a little promoting done, as well as doing the cat stuff for cleaning. 

By the way, they both seem to be guarding me lately. Rosie's letting Tasha sleep against my room's door jam during the day. Tasha's looking happier because of it. I think she wants to get closer to me, too. Rosie's still very possessive of me, so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out. 

25th of Sivan

Head-wise, I'm feeling slightly better. Gut-wise, worse. It's like I'm being stabbed by knives in my abdomen on top of everything else. Maybe whatever I have has travelled. I hope it's just that I'm sick and not something more. 

The cookbook's paperback is live now. However, things aren't settled quite yet. It isn't connected to the ebook at the moment, for one thing. Read that it might take up to 48 hours to get everything 'set' after it went live. The ebook isn't quite there yet, either. Might be ready for me to tell/share the link with people tomorrow. That should be interesting. 

Figured out a better way to deal with my student loans. I think I was out of forbearances, or at least couldn't apply for another one for a while. Navient has been hounding me through emails the last couple of months. Anyways, through seeing what plans I'm eligible for, I found an income-based plan. As long as my 'income' is below a certain amount I won't have to pay. Once a year I'll have to 'recertify' for it and they'll give me a reminder. That sounds like it'll be a load off my mind for a while. I just have to wait for Social Security to check that I am who I say I am, then apply for it. I think it's actually a government-based plan. So, it's through both them and Navient. Good that there's something like this.

On Sunday, there's the local Pride picnic. That was nice last year. It's at a retreat and camping center in the middle of the woods. There's a lake nearby. They have a labyrinth meditation area near it, too. I haven't seen that yet, but might this time. The local Pride organization has a huge rainbow flag they hang from the main cabin area. I think it was originally a piece of a much bigger flag. It's impressive. There are usually things like hot dogs and hamburgers, outdoor games, speakers, and music. I'm thinking of going to another local Pride picnic in a couple of weeks. That one I haven't been to, and it seems it's only its 2nd year. It'd be great to go to Seattle Trans Pride, too. It was cool to see the amount of people marching, flags, people out in support watching, and going through the booths after the march. I can wave my little genderqueer flag this time. I'm not sure about marching in the Seattle Pride and July 4th parades. It's usually hot out for both of them. It's tiring, too. The Seattle Aces are marching this year, though. It's their first year doing it. So, both them and our local Pride org have spots in it. The Seattle Non-Binary Collective might, too. Might be interesting to watch instead. 

I've realized that most ace activists focus mainly on erasure. That's a big thing, but it isn't the only thing we face. There tends to be an attitude that our issues should be downplayed, because there are other groups that have it worse. Probably the mentality that comes from people playing the Oppression Olympics on Tumblr. It stifles our voices, I think. Another really big issue is 'corrective' rape. Not many people want to talk about it. Aces (as well as aros) go through conversion therapy along with the other parts of the greater LGBTQ+ community. There was a recent study that aces are less likely to be offered housing than gay people. (Gay people were less likely than straight people. That should be noted, too.) That might stem from erasure and being 'invisible', but it seems like an added layer to it. This stuff needs to be talked about more. I'm all for visibility, too. 

Finished watching Glitch. It had way too much drama. I never finished the first season, because it was being drawn out and slow. I apparently didn't miss much after starting this season. They must have realized that they were drawing it out too much, and thought adding more drama would help. There were too many side things, too. I don't think I'll watch another season if they have it. I'm going to watch The Break next. According to Netflix, I've only seen the first episode. I thought I saw more...

Hopefully next week will be much better. The cookbook might catch on. I know people who knew her would be interested (that'd be a lot), and maybe they'll tell their friends and family. 

24th of Sivan

Went to the local trans meeting last night. There weren't very many people this time. One person told me she realized that she's demisexual recently. That was cool. Demisexuals or demis are on the ace spectrum, aka ace-spec. Sometimes written as a-spec, but aros use that too, and can get confusing that way. Not all ace-spec people are aro-spec...Anyways, they're the grey area between asexuals and sexuals. (Sexuals are also referred to as allosexuals or allos.) Essentially anyone in that area has very little sexual attraction, or has it under certain conditions. Demis only have it once an emotional bond has formed. Before that, they're basically ace. Fraysexuals are basically the opposite. They have sexual attraction, but it fades away as soon as that emotional bond is formed. I think one of the new people said they were demi, too. Awesome! 

We also talked about squishes and qpr's. Squishes are like platonic crushes, and a qpr is a queerplatonic relationship. Many aro aces want qpr's and have strong squishes, like me. Especially if you're aro ace, many of us go by our platonic attraction for a qpr. I'm pan this way. I can be attracted to anyone platonically. It's not really the same as being 'just' friends with someone. It's much deeper. It's like having the urge to be super close best friends with certain people. It's a bit hard to explain...Some are attracted to the same gender, some by another gender, some to 2 or more, some to all, etc. this way. There's even aplatonic. Some people will say who they're attracted to that way by saying they're queerpanplatonic, using myself as an example. It might be a bit weird for people who aren't both aro and ace or on those spectrums. On the other hand, I think it might be an interesting thing for people to think about. I think these sort of things should be taught in schools to introduce different types of relationships, and let people learn more about themselves. 

All this had nothing to do with trans stuff, but we had ran out of things to talk about with that...I think the new person that was there this time and last week, likes me. (More like a friend not romantically.) We're both enby, and upon hearing that his (last night that was his pronoun, he's genderfluid) ears seemed to perk up. Sat next to me this time, too. That's cool. I was happy there was another enby, too. I wish there were more agender people, though...I think he thought I was much younger than I am. He's 19. He asked me if I was about to start college. (The meetings are held at a college.) I said I haven't been attending college for about 10 years. He looked a little disappointed. I find it odd that people still think I look that young. By people of that age group, even. 

Tried to get the carrot cake at Shari's afterwards. They were out of it for the 3rd time in a row...It must either be there to take up space on the menu or it's extremely popular. I got the banana cream pie instead. I like that they put actual banana slices towards the bottom. Feels more 'real' that way. 

Started feeling really awful just before going to group last night. It was worse today. I've been feeling really lethargic, a tension headache that covers my entire head, like I'm going through clouds, walking through mud, throat's itchy and swollen, my temp's low (normally it's pretty low, but this is by quite a bit from my norm), more nauseous than usual, and like I'm talking slower and softer. It might have seemed weird last night. It was so bad today, I had to take a nap. I'm not a napping person. I usually only nap when I'm sick, and it has to be pretty bad. Had a hard time sleeping, but I think I got some in. My head was in even more pain when I woke up. I'm wondering if it might be signs of anemia. I've been anemic before, but this seems a little different. 

Rosie wanted me to eat a lot all day. Every time I was downstairs and moved, she ran to her bowl, made like she was going to eat, then looked at me, then at the refrigerator, etc. Even if I had just eaten. She even tried to get me to eat while I was upstairs. I think she thinks the answer to all ailments is to eat. It wasn't like she didn't have food. When I did eat, she seemed happy, hugged me a lot, purred, and watched the backyard. It was also like she was guarding me while I ate, which was also a little unusual. She knows something is up with me. 

Submitted the paperback version of the cookbook. When I saw the preview, I noticed that they had it as 158 pages, when Word's version (sized to what the paperback would be) is 160 pages. I approved it, and clicked save and publish before that really sunk in. What if it's missing those 2 pages? What if things like the table of contents are off because of it? It seemed fine when I saw the other stuff and before I realized the page thing. I just didn't look at the last page. I guess I'll find out after they approve it. Maybe it was just an approximation of the page count or something. It's under review at the moment, and I can't change or check things until it's live. I'll get more of a royalty from the paperback than I realized. 60% of the $14.99. I'll earn roughly $2 more than the ebook. The ebook became live within 12 hours, but isn't completely 'connected' to me yet. (Can't even see sales, if there are any, yet.) All the details aren't up yet either. At least both versions will be out very soon. I'll tell everyone once that's all settled. 

23rd of Sivan

Figured out the pricing for both versions of the cookbook. The ebook cookbooks seemed so much more expensive than most 'regular' ones. I know that you get more out of cookbooks than regular books, but it was surprising. I don't think I'll ever set my ebook prices in the mid-teens, and that was about average. It's insane, considering we can get up to 70% in royalties with those. If you want it to be in the 'select' program, you have to set it to that. Otherwise, there's the option of setting it to 35%. Different than what it is for paperback. I decided the ebook would be $5.99. Not too bad, considering. I didn't want to cheapen myself. It's the most expensive ebook of the ones I've published so far. I was surprised by the fact that the majority of cookbooks on there seem diet related. Very few 'regular' ones. Maybe it gives mine more of a chance. There were very few cookbooks in general on there compared to other categories. 

Decided that the paperback will be $14.99. Same price as my memoir's paperback, and much cheaper than most paperback versions of the cookbooks on there. There's a smaller percentage of author royalties for paperbacks. Most of the price goes to Amazon for the labor of printing, putting it together, and sending it out. Understandable that they'd need a larger share for that stuff. There's also a set minimum calculated by them for how much they'll need to make it happen. The amount of pages, size, page color (white or cream), cover, type of cover (glossy or matte), etc. are factored in. I think it'll be over that minimum. It's not like it's a huge book. 

Filled out the publishing forms and submitted the ebook version. Apparently, they found no spelling/formatting errors. I thought they would find at least one thing. That's great! It was cool to preview it. Especially seeing the cover there. I think it turned out well. They say that it'll take up to 72 hours to approve and fully publish it. I think it took a lot less time than that last time. Should be interesting to see how it does. I'll fill out the publishing forms and submit the paperback next time. That one has a few more things to it. 

For German, I finished the Abstract Objects 4 lesson. It was another long one. About 10 parts. A bit more difficult than usual, too. I only missed 3 questions. I think the next one is on more pronouns. The one after that is classical music. That's interesting to throw in there. There are only 3 more after that. 

Tried the Italian 5-cheese blend sandwich slices. I'm not sure if I like it. It's smellier and more intense than I expected. I don't usually like when it's like that. Each cheese by itself doesn't seem all that smelly or intense, but I guess if you put them together it's different? Tried it first in a chicken sandwich with mustard yesterday. Today it was the same except with tartar sauce instead of mustard. It was better. Maybe creamy sauces are best with it? 

National Gingerbread Day!

Gingerbread's great! Went to the Gingerbread Factory in Leavenworth not too long ago. It was good, but not the best gingerbread I've had. I think it takes more skill to get it just right. Good combo of things that go into it, too. I think it's an even bigger thing in Europe than here.

I've been feeling really crummy today. I was coughing all day yesterday, and today my throat feels swollen. Nose has been runny, stuffed up, and hurts to breathe through it. Have felt so nauseous, that every time I try to eat I feel like I'll throw up immediately. Feels like I've got another cold or something. Oh, fun fun. 

I think I ended up sleeping in because of a combo of things. My bed had just been laundered before I went to sleep, and therefore was still warm. Also my clean pillow was at a perfect position and not very lumpy. (That's rare for me.) I had just had some really good ice cream. Before that I helped Dad with moving old rusted barbecues from the backyard to the driveway in the front. (There were about 5 or 6 barbecues altogether.) That was a bit tiring and slightly dangerous, although she did one of the most dangerous parts. Getting on the falling apart deck, throwing the newest barbecue off of it, and getting herself off the deck. Thrilling to watch, too. Someone that picks up scrap came and took it all away today. Another thing was that I was starting to feel sicker. Perfect storm for sleep. I haven't slept so soundly in a long time, so that was a plus. 

I finally finished the print version of the cookbook's cover. Took me a little while. With this, I also figured out the description. Yay! It's still not as short as I'd like, but it's close. The spine looks pretty thin. They say if the print version is less than 100 pages, not to put any text on it. It's 160, so it's close, but over enough there should be something. 

Watched another episode of Glitch on Netflix last night. Had a really surprising and sad ending. Not sure where it's going with the story. Especially after this episode. 

I'll try to get to learning German later today. Tomorrow night there will be a local trans group meeting. Hopefully, I can get up when I plan to and get more stuff done beforehand. 

National Cheese Day!

I love cheese! Just a day devoted to it isn't enough...I guess I celebrated with having garlic and herb Jack cheese spread on sourdough. Recently got Italian 5-cheese blend slices for sandwiches. That sounds really good. 

This is my wallpaper for June. It's another Hitman Reborn manga wallpaper I made a few months ago. I didn't create the art; just put 2 chapter pages together and resized them. The half-siblings (they have the same father), Bianchi and Gokudera, are on the left. Bianchi, aka Poison Scorpion Bianchi in the mafia, specializes in poison cooking. Gokudera is Tsuna's Guardian of the Storm Ring, and has sworn to become Tsuna's right hand man. He's aka Smokin' Bomb Hayato, and he specializes in explosives. Despite his looks and attitude (seemingly like a delinquent), he's a genius and excels at academics. His sister used to test out her cooking on him as a little kid, particularly right after piano recitals. She's immune to her own cooking. So, every time he sees her, he gets physically sick. It was so traumatic, he also swore off playing the piano. They eventually do make up (not entirely though...), but for most of the series there's that tension between them. Tsuna and Reborn are on the right. I thought the summer like one with Tsuna seemed appropriate for this month. 

The weather calendar's main pic's of a rainbow at sunset over cliffs at a Utah national park. The dark clouds around it look really ominous. It's a cool shot. The other 3 smaller pics are of tornadoes in Dodge City, Kansas. It seems like most of the pics are tornado themed...

The month-long holidays for June are: National Candy Month, National Dairy Month, National Iced Tea Month, Pride Month, National Camping Month, National Zoo and Aquarium Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Yay, for Pride Month! I haven't gone camping in a very long time, but I remember liking it. 

Apparently, there's a calendar going around where there are specific Pride days for different sexual orientations and genders every day for June. The whole month is supposed to be for everyone in the community, but it is interesting. I have 5 days on it. The 10th for ace pride, 15th for agender pride, 20th for genderqueer pride, 25th for non-binary pride, and 30th for aro pride. All my LGBTQ+ 'identities' seem to be represented. Not many of the lesser known ones were listed, but interesting they came up with 30 of them. I also found it interesting that my 'days' are every 5 days after the 10th. 

I started looking for Pride shirts yesterday. A little late, but I'd also like something to be 'out' with for the rest of the year. So far, there are 2 cool aro ace ones. Made me happy to see at least 2 that were for aro aces specifically. I'm leaning more towards one that has animal skulls, arrows, flowers in the ace flag colors, spades, says aro ace off to the side, and banners. Arrows are an aro symbol. It looks really badass, and like a tattoo design. The other one's of a spade splattered with the ace flag colors. The ace of spades in cards represents aro aces in the community. For that one, unless they know the flag and know about the spade, the meaning's more hidden. Haven't looked much for agender stuff. I'll narrow it down when I'm done looking around online. I wouldn't mind getting one shirt representing 1 or 2 identities, and some sort of accessory like wristbands or earrings for the others. That way I can be 'out' with everything at once, and that seems cheaper. 

I thought about a description for the cookbook. I'm not 100% happy with it yet. Seems too long. I want to mention some highlights so others can get a feel for it. I was going to start putting the print version's cover together, but can't really do that without a description for the back. I'll probably get to the cover tomorrow. Might even finish it. Then, it'll be figuring out pricing for both versions and filling out the publishing forms. That's all that's left. Not much.

For German, I finished the Present 4 lesson. There were 6 parts, and I completed them all in one sitting. It was a lot. Missed about 3 or 4. Not bad, considering. Next is their Fantasy lesson. That only has about 3 parts, so I'll probably at least start the next one after that, too. 

Managed to draw a little today. Haven't done it in a while. Finished drawing Antonio's (from Alliance) head, and I'll ink him next time. I think Antonio's head has a better shape than my previous ones. I'm slowly improving on it. He doesn't quite look like what's in my head, but he's not bad. The next head will be Doina's. She sounds like she'd be cool to draw.

Finished watching Chosen. It was intense and had a good ending, for the most part. I like how they got revenge against the people behind the game. Started watching the 2nd season of Glitch a couple of days ago. Saw most of the 1st season a while ago. I like the idea behind it and where they've taken it. 

Made a list about a week ago of the shows I have on my Netflix list. I put them in order of length. So, Chosen was only 3 episodes and that was the first on the 'list'. Glitch is 2nd since I'm just watching the 2nd season. It's good I made this new ordered list, because I can finally finish most of the ones I started previously this way. There will be a 'schedule' of sorts. I never went back to them because there were other new interesting shows. I decided that if I want to add more shows, I can add them to the list once I get to the really lengthy shows. Shows like Filinta are 100s of episodes long, and if I just watch that I'll never see anything new. Also, made a list for shows to watch during the weekend. Things like nature docs, food, comedy, travel, etc. That way I get to the 'extra' ones, too. Kind of fun to see what I'll see next on the list, as well.

National Olive Day!

I love olives! Could probably eat them all day and not get tired of them. It's also Donut Day. 

I'm not going to do the monthly stuff today. Feeling frustrated at the moment. Felt sick again today, and slept in. Didn't get much done. 

I did manage to finish the ebook cover. Decided on the popover one. I think I chose a nice font. I didn't want it to seem pretentious, wanted everyone to be able to read it, and didn't want it to look goofy. The text is yellow, which I like the effect with the black background. The position of where my pen name is, is a little different than the usual. This time it's in between the title and popover. Normally, it might have been under the popover, but I don't think there's enough space under it. I like the placement of the popover, too. I guess as long as my pen name's on there and it's smaller than the title, it's all good. It looks interesting this way, too. 

After that, I downloaded the template for the paperback version. Only problem is my computer's having issues with extracting it from the zip file. Normally it doesn't. This has been going on for the last few hours now. Adding to my frustration. I decided to go with cream colored pages this time. It's 6" x 9" and 160 pages long. Apparently, you have to figure out the color beforehand. 

I called the mail-order pharmacy at around 11am today. It was about not getting lialda yet. She was surprised by it, too. She said I should have gotten both of them, at the latest, last Tuesday. She told me she'd call back after checking the tracking number and pulling up info on it. At around 1:30pm, she called back. She said it was held up somewhere, and they didn't know why. Couldn't tell if it was the pharmacy's fault (although she noticed it was mailed by them on the 24th) or the postal service. She said the updated arrival time would be today. If it wasn't in the mail today, she said to call them back. They'll prescribe an emergency amount to be picked up at a pharmacy immediately. Their call hours end at 5pm today. I only have enough lialda to take me through tomorrow night. Nothing for Sunday and on. I was really anxious after that. Checked the mail at about 2:50, it wasn't there yet. Again, at 3:15, nothing. Finally, the mail arrived at 3:30. My meds were there, thank goodness. I was worried about it. Plus, 3:30 was cutting it close to when I couldn't call them back. I'm frustrated about it, too. Mail-order is supposed to be easier and is usually quick. This seemed dangerous for me. 

I did get to the regular miscellaneous cleaning today. Just not vacuuming. Rosie didn't stand for much of the mitt today, so I stopped early. Hope to get to my German at some point later. 

It's been a weird week, and hopefully the next one will be better. Probably will publish both versions of the cookbook then. Might try to do some of it on Sunday.