National Graham Cracker Day!

I used to really like graham crackers. I grew tired of them after having them as a snack for a while. They're especially good stale, or crumbled up and used as a topping or crust. They're ok with s'mores. I'm more into the chocolate and marshmallow part of that, though. I'm not going to do the usual monthly thing on here. Might in the future soon.

Yesterday, I marched in a local 4th of July parade with the local Pride group. I thought this year's float was cool. It was a ferry boat. There were inflatable orcas tied to the sides. A bubble machine was poking out on top. A speaker for the music was at the other end poking out. I was one of the people in the float. There were 2 people in rainbow captain costumes, and 2 who were in rainbow skipper costumes. There had to be someone at each 'window'. I waved my genderqueer flag out of one of them and tried to wave at the same time. The only problem was the music wouldn't play. The generator ran out of gas as soon as we started moving. Hard to do it without power. So, we ended up just smiling and waving, instead of dancing and looking more excited. Also, there were some sudden stops. With me trying to wave both a hand and my flag, I wasn't holding onto anything most of the time. So, I came close to falling with each stop. I was also wearing my aro ace pride shirt. Saw a few people I knew. At least one person booed us. I tried to think that it was just another type of cheer at the time. Most people were excited to see us and supportive. I should remember that more. Some people seemed a little confused about what my shirt said and the flag. That's ok. They can look it up. I tried to be cheerful as we went through. I'm glad that they drove us back to where most of the cars were at the end. It's a shelp to walk all the way back. Also helped that I wasn't walking during the parade. It was cooler than last time and there was a breeze. Made it nicer. There was one other ace there. I think they were also enby. Yay! 

A week ago, I badly strained my shoulder. It somehow started during a very painful bowel movement. (Sorry...It's a bit gross.) I don't how that happened...After the pain persisted for 4 days (Monday at this point), I decided I really needed to go to Urgent Care. It wasn't getting better on its own. 

I have a high pain tolerance now, and tend to just remember the worst of it. Going through the symptoms with the staff there, made me realize there was more to it. There was the shoulder pain that covered my entire left shoulder, left half of my chest, and left upper arm. A huge area. The pain was like scalding hot water was ebbing off and on. It wasn't (still isn't) necessarily sharp. My left hip had barely there type of pain. My abdominal pain was close to being as bad as my shoulder. That has been intensifying the last few weeks. My blood pressure was oddly high. I'm usually low. Even when I go to UC or the hospital, it's usually on the low end. They brushed it off as just nerves, but I don't think that was the case. I'll just have to watch it next time. I've been much more nauseous than usual, too. Came close to throwing up several times before going to UC.

I had blood and urine tests done. Of what I got back at the time, everything was 'normal'. My sodium was the lowest it's been, and was verging on breaking through the lowest normal range value. It usually is low, but this was surprisingly by a lot. It's not like I don't have enough sodium in my diet. I have plenty. I'm a little worried about this. Even if it's still technically within normal range, it's not my normal. Could be a sign I'm not absorbing it well. My chloride seemed better, but also on the low end. I can't stand food that's too salty, so it's not like just adding saltier food will help. Wouldn't be able to keep it up, at least. Salt helps with the nervous system, so it's important to get enough. Most people (at least Americans) get too much of it. There was something with one of my blood counts, too. Like, it was just slightly higher than my norm. Still within normal range, though. There were some white blood cells found in my urine, which they flagged. The doctor didn't talk about that. That's usually a sign that there's inflammation. It could be a sign of a UTI or inflammation from somewhere else. They found and flagged that there was bacteria in it, too. Since peeing doesn't hurt, it most likely means the inflammation is somewhere else and my body is fighting something. 

The doctor said I most likely strained my shoulder badly. She wanted me to put a heating pad on it and take Vicodin for the pain. As well as, resting it. She also strongly suspects that my colitis is flaring again. Just mainly going by the symptoms. So, she said I should have a follow-up soon with a gastroenterologist. Both my primary and GI (she's really just a PA, not an MD which is what I need) are awful, so I think I'll get new ones soon. She also suggested that I eat more of my 'safe' foods for the time being. She gave me some tips on a printout for easing colitis symptoms, too. She told me she also has a chronic illness and understood a lot of what I said about it. That was nice. Not good that she has one too, but good that she 'gets it' more. I liked that she really tried to help me as much as she could. 

I've been taking the Vicodin since late Monday afternoon. 2 pills a day, since I'm still in pain. She prescribed 15 pills, taken every 4-6 hours when in pain. I've decided to take one with lunch and one with my late night snack. (Usually lunch is 11am or 12pm; late snack is around 8:30pm.) I have to have food with it. I figure in order to get some sleep with this pain, I should take one close to when I go to bed. To have some relief during the day, after lunch might be best. This way I also can check on my pain more between doses. It makes very drowsy, time is weird, like there's something heavy on my chest, a little wobbly on my feet, navigating through cloudy jelly, etc. It's a good and slightly bad experience. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to throw up more while on it, too. I've noticed this happens about 3 or 4 hours after taking it. It's weird. This was all lovely while I was in the parade, too. Very strange experience. 

I think the heating pad has been slowly working, too. I had less time with it yesterday, though. I know it takes a while even for muscular 'injuries' to heal, but it's still annoying. I want the pain to stop and be able to move it around more. I'm tired of it already. I can't even wash my hair at the moment. Can't move my shoulder enough for it. Not only is there the actual washing with shampoo/conditioner part, but I also have to comb it (first with my hands, then with an actual comb), use a smoothing spray and comb that through, work in a styling mousse and comb that through, shape the curls with my fingers, and finally take care of the hair that fell out. That's a lot of moving in painful positions for my shoulder. I feel too embarrassed to ask for help with it. Getting dressed hurts, too. I keep getting dressed anyways. Mainly to feel some semblance of normalcy with it. It is getting better at least. 

I decided last night to have Benefiber while I'm on Vicodin, too. One of the side effects is constipation, and I think I've started to get that. Dad had a really bad bout with it when she was on Vicodin last. So bad she went to the hospital. I don't need that sort of thing. Benefiber might help with it. I'm taking it with breakfast, lunch, and my late night snack. They say to take it 3 times a day to get the full effect. I'm lucky I still had a big thing of it, although it's pretty old. The best by date is in January. That's not an expiration date, though. It should be good for now. 

I did get my aro ace pride shirt around the 29th or 30th. It's really nice. Feels soft, it's long, stretchy and clingy, fits me well, and the print design is cool. I shared a pic of me wearing it in the ace groups I'm in on fb. I specifically mentioned how so many shirts for ace and/or aros were cutesy, and how I felt this perpetuates people infantilizing us. (It's a big problem.) I wanted something badass instead. One of the first comments I got was that I looked adorable...Oh, and adding an 'omg' to it made it a little worse. The point went right over their head. The rest of the comments were better. 

Many people liked it on my personal page. One of my aunts noticed I looked like I lost a lot of weight. I noticed that as soon as I posted the pic, but wasn't sure if it was just me or something. Good to know someone saw it, too. Maybe it's another sign that I'm flaring. I didn't look at my weight at UC, but the doctor might have factored that in (with my weight history) when she said that I'm flaring. Last time I knew I was flaring, I did lose a lot of weight. 

I set a schedule for promos for all my ebooks on Amazon. I thought it would be good to do, especially since 3 of them will be taken out of Select soon. Alliance will have a free book promo July 14th-18th. My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes will have a Countdown Deal July 19th-26th. Alliance: Dawn will have a Countdown Deal July 24th-31st. It'll be the same dates with a UK version. More Than Meets the Eye will have a free book promo August 6th-10th. The cookbook will have another Countdown Deal through Amazon UK August 11th-18th. Sweet Endless Terror will have a free book promo August 13th-17th. So, there will be 7 promos from July 14th to August 18th. I've never taken advantage of the UK marketplace, and having all of the books up at once. I had to think about when all of the books' terms will be up. Even if they're going to be renewed, you can only schedule them within the term that they're already in. Plus, I wanted A2's promo later than A1's. Their terms end at roughly the same time, so it was a little more difficult to figure. A1 will be free, so I can hook people first. A2 will basically be discounted so they'd have to pay something for that next book. Since the cookbook is the newest, it'll be a countdown one. I could hook people in with the others being free, too. We'll see how this goes. Those 3 books could leave Select with a little bang. (Again, they'll still be on Amazon afterwards.) Interestingly, the cookbook's ranking is steadily going up. It has shown some sells. My author ranking reached the highest it's been yesterday. Slowly something's happening. I'm still going to take those 3 off Select and add them to Smashwords. 

Finished watching Bad Guys on Netflix. It was pretty good. They added a little too much drama to the ending, though. I feel really bad for what Lee Jung-Moon aka Psycho (that was his nickname) went through. He's a psychopath, and he was used just because of it. He walked in on burglars killing his parents, and killed them in self defense. Ever since then, the police have been trying to pin a serial murder case on him. If he's a psychopath, of course he did it, right? They caught him getting a certain type of oil for his girlfriend. She was a painter and needed it for the paint. That oil was found on all the victims. He also was found at every crime scene the nights of the murders. He had no memory of it. The detective set him up and tried to kill him. Part of his purpose for creating the team was to eventually kill him himself. He assaulted Psycho a few times, too. He blamed him for his daughter's murder, which was apart of the serial killings. Psycho never wanted to kill anyone, and was hoping it wasn't true. What actually happened was a really twisted prosecutor killed them all. He believed the only way to punish killers was to kill someone close to them. He killed the detective's daughter as a diversion. That was the only difference. That prosecutor found out that Lee was a psychopath, and took him to a psychiatrist. That psychiatrist then drugged him, tried to tell him to kill people that the prosecutor wanted to kill through hypnotism, they gave him a knife, and drove him to every victim's place. He still subconsciously refused to kill them. So, the prosecutor did it and framed him. The drugs made him forget everything. The mob went after him when they thought he killed their main boss. His girlfriend was forced by the detective to lie and say she was the only victim that got away. It devastated him. She still felt guilty once he was working cases with the team. They had to act like they didn't know each other. He went through hell. The detective asked for forgiveness when he was told the truth. Lee refused, and even came close to shooting him. He felt he couldn't trust anyone again after all that. After they got the prosecutor, Lee's sentence was erased. He was completely innocent, and technically the only one who wasn't a true criminal. I'm glad he was able to be freed. He looked younger than he was. In their present time, he was around my age. However, he looked like he was in his early 20s to me. 

Went back to watching Samurai Gourmet on Netflix. It's a Japanese drama centered on food. It's a lighthearted feel-good type show. Each episode is about 20 minutes, so it's not long. It's about a guy who just went into retirement. He likes food, and goes out somewhere different every time. He imagines how a samurai would do things in certain situations that arise there. I like that it's centered on someone older than the norm, which is usually in their 20s or 30s. It's from a different perspective that way. And, they didn't make him act old, either. The food they feature looks amazing. The last one I saw was he decided to try a run-down old izakaya. Izakaya are traditional Japanese bars/pubs. He had beer, fried chicken, a tofu and tripe stew, salad, and a few other snack like things. At one point, it started downpouring, and the rain leaked through the roof and onto the patrons. It was apparently normal to them (except the retiree), and the hostess gave them all umbrellas. It was interesting to watch that one. It didn't dampen their spirits, instead they became more lively. With the one before that, he went to a quiet cafe. He hadn't felt like he had time to sit at one with a book since he was in his 20s. That in itself was a treat for him. He got coffee that was 'traditionally' made the Japanese way and eventually had spaghetti for lunch. Again, everything looked amazing. It makes me hungry just watching what he eats. He did have one bad experience, but his wife's cooking made up for it later. I like that she's been doing her own thing, too. She just retired as well. Although, her outings aren't centered on food, and she often doesn't go with him. 

I'm really close to catching up in One Piece. Only 3 more left, which I'll probably get to today. This arc has been really twisted and disturbing. More so than the Dressrosa one. It seems all light and childish at first, but it really isn't. Linlin or Big Mom has issues. That's putting it mildly. She's been unstable mentally since she was very little. Her parents left her on an island full of giants at 5 years old. She was taken in by an orphanage there that was ran by a corrupt nun. She was into child trafficking with the Marines. When Linlin ate something she really liked for her birthday, she ended up eating all the children and the nun. She didn't know she did it and figured they just vanished. She also killed a 300 year old giant before this without realizing what she was doing. A chef that ate the cooking devil fruit found her, witnessed what happened to the nun and children, and decided to join forces with her. They became pirates. He was perfect for her since he could turn anything into food. She's always been huge, too. Never knows her true strength. She wanted to create a utopia full of different types of people, because that's what the nun wanted. She also wanted everything sweets related, since she has an awful sweet tooth. She'll abandon her children like toys if they disobey or are too 'ugly' to her. She uses her citizens souls in food and to create animorphic trees/flowers/etc. Makes for a surreal world. Everyone's about to escape from her at the moment. They keep referring to the treasure box that the Fishmen gave up. I remember the Fishmen actually gave her a dummy one full of explosives. I keep thinking she's going to open it and blow herself up. That would be oddly satisfying to watch, and it would benefit everyone. 

12th of Tammuz

I forgot to mention that I recently got Celestial Seasonings Vanilla Honey Chamomile tea. It also has orange peel in it. It's surprisingly good and calming. Sweet, but not too sweet. Plus, there are no calories (like most bagged tea). It's like magic. The blends are fun to try.

From Friday to Sunday there were Pride events. So many it was overwhelming to hear about them all. I went to the Seattle Trans Pride with Dad on Friday. We marched in the parade, went through the booths, and listened to live music. 

There were so many people! I thought I would see more people I knew. There were only a handful of them. It was cool to meet new people. One person named Yael marched next to me and chatted. They were probably a little too chatty. They might have been nervous, though. 

There was one person who kept telling me to smile just before we started marching. I 'naturally' smile all the time. In fact, my face sometimes hurts from smiling by the end of the day. I don't see how I could smile even more. Another thing is it reminded me of what's expected of women. They're expected to be smiling. If they're not, they're considered to be bitchy/moody. That's so wrong, though. It felt like she was assuming I was a woman, which adds a special layer of awfulness to it. Another side of this is the march is somewhat bittersweet. We're celebrating who we are. However, it's also a march for trans rights and then some. It's understandable if someone doesn't want to smile for it. It seems like  something someone outside of the community would say.

I loved seeing the diversity of people there. People of color, those with disabilities, people of different sizes from heavy-set to very thin ones, people of all ages, different styles of dress, etc. The signs were interesting, too. 

I waved my genderqueer (or GQ) flag, too. People asked me about it, got it confused with the non-binary (or nb or enby) flag, and some were really happy to see it. The GQ flag is lavender for androgyny or queerness, white for agender and neutrois, and green for all the other genders outside of the binary. GQ is older than enby, and they're essentially the same. At some point, some people had issues with the word 'queer' (understandable), so enby was created as an alternative. A lot of people, including me, like both. I saw a few people with GQ and enby flags. One person had an GQ flag as big as my ace flag. (3' x 5'.) They wore it like a cape. That was cool. Another person had body glitter paint on their back in the enby flag colors. One person saw my flag and told me they walked next to me because they thought it was the enby flag. They had an enby-related sign. I can't remember what it said, but it was something like enby people deserve respect and their lives matter. I think part of it referred to someone who was recently killed for being enby, too. (It was a long sign.) It was nice to hear that they specifically stood next to me because of my flag. Even if they mistook it for the enby one. It still fits.

A couple of people asked me what agender was when I was more specific. Some people looked confused when I said I don't have a gender. When I told someone I'm 3 of the A's (aro ace and agender), they asked: "So you're like grey-ace?" For some reason being all the way on the ace side was harder for her to grasp. How could I never experience sexual attraction to anyone? That was interesting considering so many people don't even think about the grey area. 

I think there were more booths than last time. We didn't even peek at the food trucks. (Therefore, I don't know how many there were.) It was great to see. I got so much candy from the vendors. It was like Halloween. Lots of pens, too. The pencils from the PFLAG booth looked cool. They're in Pride colors, but the colors fade into each other and have a metallic look. 

There were a lot of pronoun buttons. I got some they/them ones. Right now, my pronouns are she/her and they/them. I don't feel either completely 'fit' me though. I said something similar in the enby group on fb when someone asked ours. Someone commented: "Been there!" Doesn't really help...At least, I know I'm not alone with it. 

There were some very informative stuff there. There was an ACLU handbook on trans rights in Washington. I still haven't read through it. Good to have and know, though. I didn't know there was such a thing called Queer Scouts. They're an adult group that gets together to watch LGBTQ+ movies and have events. Gay City had quite a lot of info. Even a list people could look up for their resources and groups. There were some counseling groups. The Seattle library branch had a list of DVDs they have of trans related movies/docs. A lot of stuff. 

We were going to eat dinner at Anapurna like last year. However, the line was much longer. They told us it would be 30 minutes. We left at the 30-minute mark. Apparently they were ready for us roughly 30 minutes later. An hour long wait altogether. Too long. We got something from the ferry's galley, and ate there. The sandwich was a little too dry, but ok. The cranberry orange bread was really good. I don't drink soda that often, but I got a Crush. It was packed with sugar, too. Wahoo! I was craving it, though. The shlep there and back took a lot out of me. 

I was still tired the next day, but went to the Bainbridge Island Pride Picnic anyways. It wasn't like the Kitsap one. More like a Pride fest. However, they have one next month. There were vendors, but most weren't LGBTQ+ related. It's good they were there in support, I guess. There was live music, too. The was a food truck for Wok n Roll. I got pot-stickers and a strawberry mint lemonade. Those were good. The Papa Murphy's Pizza booth were just selling soda. There was a local bakery booth. Their display looked enticing. I got their brownie. It was amazing! More like actual fudge dusted with powdered sugar. 

Yesterday was Seattle Pride. Both our local Pride org and the Seattle Aces wanted me to march with them. I can't be in 2 places at once...I was still tired from Trans Pride. Plus, it gets incredibly crowded. It was the first time the Seattle Aces were marching in it. They know I'm interested in the group, so they invited me to everything they had related to it. Even their afterparty. This year the local Pride org had a float that looked like a ferry. (I think it was only their 2nd time in the parade.) Dad and I watched most of it through Kiro 7's live-feed. (They're a local news station.) I think I heard that it ended up being the largest Pride parade in the country. A lot more people watching on the sidelines than last year, too. I'm glad I wasn't actually there. I did see the ace group, but didn't see our local Pride org. Saw pics afterwards, at least. The next Pride thing I might go to is marching with the Pride group in a local 4th of July parade. I'll definitely get my aro ace Pride shirt before then. Not sure if I'll wear that or this year's local org's shirt.  

I went back to writing Alliance 3 today. Didn't get much of it done, because Word was being really slow. It was frustrating. 

Went through the Food unit for Chinese. Half the time I went through their review. If you don't do anything in the app every day, the plant starts to die and the leaves next to the completed units turn brown. I hadn't been on it for 3 days. It looked sad. Also, my pronunciation seemed worse. Probably because I hadn't done it for 3 days, too. I still passed all the new stuff. I find it's fun and addicting to learn. German was fun too, but this seems more so. Their h's seem close to the Hebrew ch, too. 

Finished reading the manga, +Anima. It was surprisingly good. I wasn't expecting much from it. I feel bad for what Cooro had to go through now. He's the main character who befriended 3 other +anima, and they traveled together. There was even less info on him than the others for most of it. He apparently was born a +anima. There was speculation that he was 'artificial', created in the research center. Instead, his mother died while giving birth to him. As a newborn, he wanted to survive so much that he saw a bunch of crows gathering around him, reached out to them, and became a crow +anima at the moment. He obviously didn't remember this. Towards the end, he went to the place where his mother died, and the crows were gathering there just like before. Even though he had his +anima surgically removed, as soon as he saw them something clicked and he gained it back. He became emotional, like on some level he knew what happened. His mission was to gather +anima so Fry could research them and steal their +anima. Cooro never wanted to go back to the research facility. Fry gave himself Cooro's +anima, but he lost it when Cooro got it back. It's implied that he died. I'm not sure I like that or not. I think he was misunderstood. 

I mostly just got to the miscellaneous cleaning stuff. I did finish drawing Doina's head from Alliance. Took me a while to get it decent. Might be because I haven't been drawing on a regular basis for a while. Next, I'll ink and post Tzvi, Antonio, and Doina's heads to dA and Instagram. 

Went back to watching Bad Guys on Netflix. It's a Korean detective series. There are 3 convicts asked to help solve cases in exchange for shorter sentences. All of them, including the lead detective, seem damaged in some way. The only one that might not be is the female assistant to the lead. She's really tough herself, though. The convicts methods are ruthless, but they don't seem 'evil'. Just horribly misunderstood. The 'scariest' one is the young psychopath. He doesn't remember any of his murders. He supposedly blacks out during them. In fact, he hired a pi at one point to keep an eye on himself to see if he really does kill people. He may have been set up just because of who he is. Another one kills any man who abuses women. The other one seems to just be caught up with the wrong people. They're all strong. The psychopath is also incredibly bright and tends to solve big parts of the cases that others just can't see. The lead detective hates following the rules, and is pretty violent himself. He refers to himself and the convicts as wild dogs that have been starved and beaten by society. It's interesting to see their different perspectives on the cases. It's really interesting. The cinematography is gorgeous. All the main actors are incredibly attractive looking, too. There's a lot of dark humor.