26th of Tammuz

This is my wallpaper for July. It's another Dear manga wallpaper I made a while ago. I didn't actually create the art. I just stretched the image big enough to make a wallpaper out of it. There's another manga named Dear that's sports related. This one's by Cocoa Fujiwara, and is fantasy-based. Quite different. These are all the main characters. Subaru is so tall! (Compared to the others.) Taller than I remembered when I was reading it. Hopefully, someday I'll finish reading it. I only stopped because the rest of the chapters weren't available. I liked it a lot. The story was unique, and each character was interesting. This seemed like a nice summery one. 

The weather calendar's main pic's of a shelf cloud in Kansas with a storm behind it during a sunset. They captured a bolt of lightning from the storm. It's cool looking. The smaller pics are of tornado-producing supercell clouds, that were also in Kansas. They seem pretty hung up on tornadoes. There are plenty of other weather-related phenomena they could capture. 

The month-long holidays for July are: National Grilling Month, National Hot Dog Month, National Ice Cream Month, National Blueberries Month, and National Honey Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Lots of good food ones. Also, locally, it's like we have another Pride month. 2 months is a bit much...

My shoulder is a lot better than it was. The heating pad and Vicodin seemed to have helped quite a bit. It's still not 100%, though. It aches every so often throughout the day. I'll probably have to continue to use the heating pad for a little longer. Went for the entire day yesterday and today without taking Vicodin. Yay! I really didn't like how it was making me feel. My stomach was worse on it, too. Had more headaches than usual. So, I was determined to stop even if I was still in a lot of pain. I don't understand how people can get addicted to it. It just makes me feel sicker the longer I'm on it. I also was taking Benefiber for a few days while I was taking Vicodin. I might have had too much each day with it. It made my intestines hurt more than they already were. It helped with the constipation I had with the painkillers. I might try taking it once a day in the future, just to get more fiber. I'm always low on it. So, even if I didn't have colitis it might still be a good thing. I'll see how that goes. I managed to get to most things today, despite the shoulder still slightly hurting and my gut pain getting worse. 

I tried to eat lighter yesterday to help a bit. Haven't eaten much different today, I just have to figure something plain/bland for dinner again. Yesterday, I had a salmon onigiri (rice ball) and some vegetable spring rolls. They were pretty bland enough, and still really tasty. Maybe I'll have something with the rest of the spring rolls? Today, I've also gone back to being strict with tracking my calories (keeping to my 1200-1600 daily range) and such. I didn't last week, because I didn't really care and I was in a lot more pain. 

Went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond this weekend. I hadn't been to one in a very long time. I tend to forget what's actually there. There was a ton of kitchen/cooking stuff. Things that most places locally don't have. It was interesting to look at it all. My old mattress protector was ripped to shreds enough that I had to throw it out a couple of years ago. I had forgotten what it was called at the time, and kept telling myself I'll look for it online. It's difficult to sleep without it. Considering, it usually has some padding. It's felt like I've been sleeping on the floor or something ever since I threw the old one out. It even feels weird to the touch with my other linens on it. Anyways, they had them there. At first, I thought what I threw out was a mattress pad. That seemed too thick, though. I looked at the mattress protectors, and they seemed to be the right thing. I also looked at the info they had on mattress protectors and pads. They of course had the twin mattress protectors just barely within my reach. Almost had to jump for one of them. The one I picked supposedly keeps the bed cool, is hypoallergenic, and has other interesting features. When I took it out of its packaging, it felt nice and soft. I decided to wash it before I used it. Today was not only a laundry day, but also a day I usually launder my bed stuff. I do it every other week, along with my eye mask. Although, the mask has to be washed by hand. So, it worked out that way. Maybe I'll sleep better with the new mattress protector. At least, it'll be more normal.

I didn't get to writing more of Alliance 3 today. However, I did think more about the promos and my other books. I might lower the paperbacks' prices when the promos start on the 14th. That way I can have something close to a promo for them. It won't be the same as having Amazon promote the ebooks through Select, but it'll be something. Their Select program is only for the ebooks. I wish they had one for paperbacks. Maybe they will in the future. It's still kind of a new thing for them. Someone told me yesterday that they just got a copy of the cookbook and can't wait to use it. That's great! 

Went through the Adjectives and Adverbs unit for Chinese. I'm slowly getting better with the pronunciation. I get confused sometimes with the up and down tones. Had many 'perfect' sentences this time with speaking. They turn the color of the mispronounced words (sometimes parts of words) red when you get them wrong. Green is when you get them right. If they're all green, you get a quick 'perfect!'. I'm glad they highlight them this way. You know your weaknesses more. For the rest of it I've been doing really well. Even with the grammar and sentence structure. I'm getting better with quickly learning new characters, too. The next unit is Clothing. That should be interesting. 

Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler's manga had an update. It's put out monthly, although sometimes there's nothing for a couple of months. The story just keeps getting darker. I wonder what Undertaker's true relationship was to the Phantomhives. Yes, we know that he was in love with Ciel's grandmother. However, it seems much deeper than that. The Undertaker said he needed the bloodline to continue. Why? And, he seemed like bringing back 'our' Ciel's dead identical twin brother was only part of his plan. (We still don't know the true name of the one we've known as Ciel throughout the series. It's his dead brother's name.) I'm thinking he's planning to bring back Vincent. He's their father. A couple of the other shinigami showed up at the end of this chapter. After reading this one, more questions have sprung up.

I didn't much extra cleaning besides the laundry and cat stuff. I don't want to stress my shoulder too much. I did get to drawing today. Drew the assassin's head/bust from the first book of Alliance. She had no name in that book, she does have one now, but considering it's in the book I'm currently writing, I won't mention it yet. She's also like a bodyguard for one of the Dark Healers. She'll protect him, and kill anyone he tells her to. 

Started watching Satsuriku no Tenshi (Angels of Death or Slaughter) a couple of days ago. It's apparently based on a horror game. I like it so far. Puts more of a spin on it personally when the main character has the same name as me. They have quite a few things written out in English on the walls, too. It seems to be some sort of survival game. Rachel had witnessed a massacre, and went to see a therapist about it. At some point, she woke up from the session and walked out of the room. It seemed very different compared to the hospital before. She heard an announcement in an elevator that she was the next sacrifice. Each floor has a killer, and she has to get through them all. She met Isaac on one of the levels. He has a huge scythe and seems to be blood thirsty. He came close to killing her. She made it to another elevator just in time. On that floor, she met her therapist again. Turned out he was another 'killer' in the game. Only he seemed more interested in ripping out her eyes. After Isaac travels to that level and kills the therapist, he's branded as a sacrifice, too. He was not supposed to travel to another level. It ended with her wanting him to kill her. So, apparently they team up. I'm unsure how that will go. I wonder if it's real or something she made up. I guess that's part of it. I like psychological/horror/survival anime. Actually, pretty much any medium that has that combo. Hopefully, they can pull it off well. 

Close to finishing Shiyan Pin Jiating (Creatures Family Days). It's only been available in Chinese dub with English subs. It's supposed to be a Chinese and Japanese collab anyways. Very interesting to hear the Chinese while learning it this way. They even have Chinese subs above the English subs. So, I can try to read along with that at the same time. Although, that gets a bit difficult and dizzying. This is a much darker anime than it seemed at first. 

Started watching Hataraku Saibou or Cells at Work on Saturday. This one's interesting. It's about the world of cells in our bodies. The main characters are a red blood cell (rbc) and a white blood cell (wbc). I don't think they have actual names, but numbers with what type of cell they are. Like, Red Blood Cell 200. I think people that don't have any previous knowledge of biology won't truly get everything. They can see how things work, though. I like that they anthropomorphized all of them, and they've made it seem like an actual world. The white blood cells are hilarious to watch when they've found an invader. They immediately swarm it and scream things like: "Die, germs, die!" Then, they attack until the invaders become nothing but a bloody mess. It's rather violent, but that goes along with what actually happens. It's fitting that the red blood cells are mail people. They're constantly delivering things. It was the first day for the main rbc, and she was having a hard time finding where to go. She needed to go to the lungs. The platelets are cute little kids. The T-cells are even more crazy about killing things than the white blood cells. The main wbc met the rbc just after attacking a bacteria. He helped her find the lungs, and saved her when one of the bacteria found its way into the rbc's package. They got rid of him by stuffing him in a rocket and setting it off as a sneeze. It's also interesting to watch this from the perspective of having an autoimmune disease.

Started watching the 2nd season of Gintama.: Shirogane no Tamashii-hen (Gintama.: Silver Soul Arc) yesterday. I didn't realize it'd be out so soon. I get notifications from MyAnimeList of anime on my 'plan to watch' list that's about to premiere. It was nice to see. Gintama is my fave, and this is it's last season. (It's the 2nd half of the last arc.) So, it's bittersweet for me. The first episode didn't disappoint. I wonder how it's all going to end. 

Finished watching Samurai Gourmet on Netflix. It was cute. He slowly realized that you should enjoy your food however way you want. Also, that you should try to be adventurous, but old favorites are good to have as well. I like how they dealt with foreigners in one of the last episodes. They were at a yakiniku place, and the chef seemed to really hate foreigners. The retiree on the other hand thought that since they traveled so far, they should be treated with utmost respect. The fact they decided to come to Japan instead of somewhere else was something to be proud of. The foreigners in this one didn't understand Japanese, and the retiree helped them with figuring out the menu. The chef lectured the foreigners in Japanese when they started sprinkling red pepper flakes on the meat. The retiree was scared to confront the chef, but another man slightly older than him stepped in. He made the chef realize that what's important is that the customer should be able to eat their food however they want. They'll enjoy it more that way. The chef apologized and the waitress told them they can have something on the house for their troubles. The retiree tried it with some red pepper flakes, and said it made the meat even better. Next, I'll watch Million Yen Women on Netflix. I watched at least the first episode a while back. It's a weird one, and I'm unsure if I'll finish it.

National Graham Cracker Day!

I used to really like graham crackers. I grew tired of them after having them as a snack for a while. They're especially good stale, or crumbled up and used as a topping or crust. They're ok with s'mores. I'm more into the chocolate and marshmallow part of that, though. I'm not going to do the usual monthly thing on here. Might in the future soon.

Yesterday, I marched in a local 4th of July parade with the local Pride group. I thought this year's float was cool. It was a ferry boat. There were inflatable orcas tied to the sides. A bubble machine was poking out on top. A speaker for the music was at the other end poking out. I was one of the people in the float. There were 2 people in rainbow captain costumes, and 2 who were in rainbow skipper costumes. There had to be someone at each 'window'. I waved my genderqueer flag out of one of them and tried to wave at the same time. The only problem was the music wouldn't play. The generator ran out of gas as soon as we started moving. Hard to do it without power. So, we ended up just smiling and waving, instead of dancing and looking more excited. Also, there were some sudden stops. With me trying to wave both a hand and my flag, I wasn't holding onto anything most of the time. So, I came close to falling with each stop. I was also wearing my aro ace pride shirt. Saw a few people I knew. At least one person booed us. I tried to think that it was just another type of cheer at the time. Most people were excited to see us and supportive. I should remember that more. Some people seemed a little confused about what my shirt said and the flag. That's ok. They can look it up. I tried to be cheerful as we went through. I'm glad that they drove us back to where most of the cars were at the end. It's a shelp to walk all the way back. Also helped that I wasn't walking during the parade. It was cooler than last time and there was a breeze. Made it nicer. There was one other ace there. I think they were also enby. Yay! 

A week ago, I badly strained my shoulder. It somehow started during a very painful bowel movement. (Sorry...It's a bit gross.) I don't how that happened...After the pain persisted for 4 days (Monday at this point), I decided I really needed to go to Urgent Care. It wasn't getting better on its own. 

I have a high pain tolerance now, and tend to just remember the worst of it. Going through the symptoms with the staff there, made me realize there was more to it. There was the shoulder pain that covered my entire left shoulder, left half of my chest, and left upper arm. A huge area. The pain was like scalding hot water was ebbing off and on. It wasn't (still isn't) necessarily sharp. My left hip had barely there type of pain. My abdominal pain was close to being as bad as my shoulder. That has been intensifying the last few weeks. My blood pressure was oddly high. I'm usually low. Even when I go to UC or the hospital, it's usually on the low end. They brushed it off as just nerves, but I don't think that was the case. I'll just have to watch it next time. I've been much more nauseous than usual, too. Came close to throwing up several times before going to UC.

I had blood and urine tests done. Of what I got back at the time, everything was 'normal'. My sodium was the lowest it's been, and was verging on breaking through the lowest normal range value. It usually is low, but this was surprisingly by a lot. It's not like I don't have enough sodium in my diet. I have plenty. I'm a little worried about this. Even if it's still technically within normal range, it's not my normal. Could be a sign I'm not absorbing it well. My chloride seemed better, but also on the low end. I can't stand food that's too salty, so it's not like just adding saltier food will help. Wouldn't be able to keep it up, at least. Salt helps with the nervous system, so it's important to get enough. Most people (at least Americans) get too much of it. There was something with one of my blood counts, too. Like, it was just slightly higher than my norm. Still within normal range, though. There were some white blood cells found in my urine, which they flagged. The doctor didn't talk about that. That's usually a sign that there's inflammation. It could be a sign of a UTI or inflammation from somewhere else. They found and flagged that there was bacteria in it, too. Since peeing doesn't hurt, it most likely means the inflammation is somewhere else and my body is fighting something. 

The doctor said I most likely strained my shoulder badly. She wanted me to put a heating pad on it and take Vicodin for the pain. As well as, resting it. She also strongly suspects that my colitis is flaring again. Just mainly going by the symptoms. So, she said I should have a follow-up soon with a gastroenterologist. Both my primary and GI (she's really just a PA, not an MD which is what I need) are awful, so I think I'll get new ones soon. She also suggested that I eat more of my 'safe' foods for the time being. She gave me some tips on a printout for easing colitis symptoms, too. She told me she also has a chronic illness and understood a lot of what I said about it. That was nice. Not good that she has one too, but good that she 'gets it' more. I liked that she really tried to help me as much as she could. 

I've been taking the Vicodin since late Monday afternoon. 2 pills a day, since I'm still in pain. She prescribed 15 pills, taken every 4-6 hours when in pain. I've decided to take one with lunch and one with my late night snack. (Usually lunch is 11am or 12pm; late snack is around 8:30pm.) I have to have food with it. I figure in order to get some sleep with this pain, I should take one close to when I go to bed. To have some relief during the day, after lunch might be best. This way I also can check on my pain more between doses. It makes very drowsy, time is weird, like there's something heavy on my chest, a little wobbly on my feet, navigating through cloudy jelly, etc. It's a good and slightly bad experience. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to throw up more while on it, too. I've noticed this happens about 3 or 4 hours after taking it. It's weird. This was all lovely while I was in the parade, too. Very strange experience. 

I think the heating pad has been slowly working, too. I had less time with it yesterday, though. I know it takes a while even for muscular 'injuries' to heal, but it's still annoying. I want the pain to stop and be able to move it around more. I'm tired of it already. I can't even wash my hair at the moment. Can't move my shoulder enough for it. Not only is there the actual washing with shampoo/conditioner part, but I also have to comb it (first with my hands, then with an actual comb), use a smoothing spray and comb that through, work in a styling mousse and comb that through, shape the curls with my fingers, and finally take care of the hair that fell out. That's a lot of moving in painful positions for my shoulder. I feel too embarrassed to ask for help with it. Getting dressed hurts, too. I keep getting dressed anyways. Mainly to feel some semblance of normalcy with it. It is getting better at least. 

I decided last night to have Benefiber while I'm on Vicodin, too. One of the side effects is constipation, and I think I've started to get that. Dad had a really bad bout with it when she was on Vicodin last. So bad she went to the hospital. I don't need that sort of thing. Benefiber might help with it. I'm taking it with breakfast, lunch, and my late night snack. They say to take it 3 times a day to get the full effect. I'm lucky I still had a big thing of it, although it's pretty old. The best by date is in January. That's not an expiration date, though. It should be good for now. 

I did get my aro ace pride shirt around the 29th or 30th. It's really nice. Feels soft, it's long, stretchy and clingy, fits me well, and the print design is cool. I shared a pic of me wearing it in the ace groups I'm in on fb. I specifically mentioned how so many shirts for ace and/or aros were cutesy, and how I felt this perpetuates people infantilizing us. (It's a big problem.) I wanted something badass instead. One of the first comments I got was that I looked adorable...Oh, and adding an 'omg' to it made it a little worse. The point went right over their head. The rest of the comments were better. 

Many people liked it on my personal page. One of my aunts noticed I looked like I lost a lot of weight. I noticed that as soon as I posted the pic, but wasn't sure if it was just me or something. Good to know someone saw it, too. Maybe it's another sign that I'm flaring. I didn't look at my weight at UC, but the doctor might have factored that in (with my weight history) when she said that I'm flaring. Last time I knew I was flaring, I did lose a lot of weight. 

I set a schedule for promos for all my ebooks on Amazon. I thought it would be good to do, especially since 3 of them will be taken out of Select soon. Alliance will have a free book promo July 14th-18th. My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes will have a Countdown Deal July 19th-26th. Alliance: Dawn will have a Countdown Deal July 24th-31st. It'll be the same dates with a UK version. More Than Meets the Eye will have a free book promo August 6th-10th. The cookbook will have another Countdown Deal through Amazon UK August 11th-18th. Sweet Endless Terror will have a free book promo August 13th-17th. So, there will be 7 promos from July 14th to August 18th. I've never taken advantage of the UK marketplace, and having all of the books up at once. I had to think about when all of the books' terms will be up. Even if they're going to be renewed, you can only schedule them within the term that they're already in. Plus, I wanted A2's promo later than A1's. Their terms end at roughly the same time, so it was a little more difficult to figure. A1 will be free, so I can hook people first. A2 will basically be discounted so they'd have to pay something for that next book. Since the cookbook is the newest, it'll be a countdown one. I could hook people in with the others being free, too. We'll see how this goes. Those 3 books could leave Select with a little bang. (Again, they'll still be on Amazon afterwards.) Interestingly, the cookbook's ranking is steadily going up. It has shown some sells. My author ranking reached the highest it's been yesterday. Slowly something's happening. I'm still going to take those 3 off Select and add them to Smashwords. 

Finished watching Bad Guys on Netflix. It was pretty good. They added a little too much drama to the ending, though. I feel really bad for what Lee Jung-Moon aka Psycho (that was his nickname) went through. He's a psychopath, and he was used just because of it. He walked in on burglars killing his parents, and killed them in self defense. Ever since then, the police have been trying to pin a serial murder case on him. If he's a psychopath, of course he did it, right? They caught him getting a certain type of oil for his girlfriend. She was a painter and needed it for the paint. That oil was found on all the victims. He also was found at every crime scene the nights of the murders. He had no memory of it. The detective set him up and tried to kill him. Part of his purpose for creating the team was to eventually kill him himself. He assaulted Psycho a few times, too. He blamed him for his daughter's murder, which was apart of the serial killings. Psycho never wanted to kill anyone, and was hoping it wasn't true. What actually happened was a really twisted prosecutor killed them all. He believed the only way to punish killers was to kill someone close to them. He killed the detective's daughter as a diversion. That was the only difference. That prosecutor found out that Lee was a psychopath, and took him to a psychiatrist. That psychiatrist then drugged him, tried to tell him to kill people that the prosecutor wanted to kill through hypnotism, they gave him a knife, and drove him to every victim's place. He still subconsciously refused to kill them. So, the prosecutor did it and framed him. The drugs made him forget everything. The mob went after him when they thought he killed their main boss. His girlfriend was forced by the detective to lie and say she was the only victim that got away. It devastated him. She still felt guilty once he was working cases with the team. They had to act like they didn't know each other. He went through hell. The detective asked for forgiveness when he was told the truth. Lee refused, and even came close to shooting him. He felt he couldn't trust anyone again after all that. After they got the prosecutor, Lee's sentence was erased. He was completely innocent, and technically the only one who wasn't a true criminal. I'm glad he was able to be freed. He looked younger than he was. In their present time, he was around my age. However, he looked like he was in his early 20s to me. 

Went back to watching Samurai Gourmet on Netflix. It's a Japanese drama centered on food. It's a lighthearted feel-good type show. Each episode is about 20 minutes, so it's not long. It's about a guy who just went into retirement. He likes food, and goes out somewhere different every time. He imagines how a samurai would do things in certain situations that arise there. I like that it's centered on someone older than the norm, which is usually in their 20s or 30s. It's from a different perspective that way. And, they didn't make him act old, either. The food they feature looks amazing. The last one I saw was he decided to try a run-down old izakaya. Izakaya are traditional Japanese bars/pubs. He had beer, fried chicken, a tofu and tripe stew, salad, and a few other snack like things. At one point, it started downpouring, and the rain leaked through the roof and onto the patrons. It was apparently normal to them (except the retiree), and the hostess gave them all umbrellas. It was interesting to watch that one. It didn't dampen their spirits, instead they became more lively. With the one before that, he went to a quiet cafe. He hadn't felt like he had time to sit at one with a book since he was in his 20s. That in itself was a treat for him. He got coffee that was 'traditionally' made the Japanese way and eventually had spaghetti for lunch. Again, everything looked amazing. It makes me hungry just watching what he eats. He did have one bad experience, but his wife's cooking made up for it later. I like that she's been doing her own thing, too. She just retired as well. Although, her outings aren't centered on food, and she often doesn't go with him. 

I'm really close to catching up in One Piece. Only 3 more left, which I'll probably get to today. This arc has been really twisted and disturbing. More so than the Dressrosa one. It seems all light and childish at first, but it really isn't. Linlin or Big Mom has issues. That's putting it mildly. She's been unstable mentally since she was very little. Her parents left her on an island full of giants at 5 years old. She was taken in by an orphanage there that was ran by a corrupt nun. She was into child trafficking with the Marines. When Linlin ate something she really liked for her birthday, she ended up eating all the children and the nun. She didn't know she did it and figured they just vanished. She also killed a 300 year old giant before this without realizing what she was doing. A chef that ate the cooking devil fruit found her, witnessed what happened to the nun and children, and decided to join forces with her. They became pirates. He was perfect for her since he could turn anything into food. She's always been huge, too. Never knows her true strength. She wanted to create a utopia full of different types of people, because that's what the nun wanted. She also wanted everything sweets related, since she has an awful sweet tooth. She'll abandon her children like toys if they disobey or are too 'ugly' to her. She uses her citizens souls in food and to create animorphic trees/flowers/etc. Makes for a surreal world. Everyone's about to escape from her at the moment. They keep referring to the treasure box that the Fishmen gave up. I remember the Fishmen actually gave her a dummy one full of explosives. I keep thinking she's going to open it and blow herself up. That would be oddly satisfying to watch, and it would benefit everyone.