Monday, May 7, 2012

Face Down


By Arashi. It's the theme song for Kagi no Kakatta Heya or Locked Room. Kind of a cool one. Makes sense that Arashi would do the theme song, considering they usually do for dramas that a member stars in. It's pretty fitting looking at the lyrics. I usually like their acting, and variety shows more than their songs.:iconsleepygreeceplz:But, I'm noticing that I'm liking more of their current songs. Maybe they're getting better with time? They're all pretty talented.:iconfrancisplz:

This is my wallpaper for the month. It's Carla, Gray, Natsu, Wendy, Lucy, Erza, and Happy from Fairy Tail. Yep, another Fairy Tail themed one.:iconchibinitalyplz:The more I watch, the more I like it.:eager:

My Jewish calendar has an Omer counting board. Made out of wood, glass, and parchment. From the Netherlands, around 1700-1750. Kind of old, but interesting. We're supposed to be counting the days starting from the 2nd day of Passover until Shavuot. Shavuot celebrates when we received the Torah. So, a lot of people study Torah throughout the day and night then. It's kind of interesting. Not sure if we'll do the same thing we did last year. Where the congregation sat around and discussed various different portions. We also eat a lot of dairy products during the holiday. Symbolizing the 'land flowing with milk and honey', or Israel. Anyways, there's also a wooden mezuzah and an etrog box. They have no idea when the mezuzah was made or where it came from. The box actually looks like an etrog. And, is from Amsterdam in 1893. I find these really old things they display to be interesting.:iconchibihungaryplz:

My herb calendar just has a few different varieties of mint in glasses full of water. Better than last month's, I think.:iconhongkongplz:

I have some really sad news.:iconamericasadchibiplz:My mom died after a long battle with 2 types of cancer, on last Tuesday. She was admitted to the hospital about a week before. It was one of the toughest weeks I've ever gone through.:iconlietplz:We visited everyday. She had tons of other visitors. In fact, at one point, she told me she was getting tired of so many people calling her before they came and just to 'check in'. She was overwhelmed, but happy about how many people cared.:iconhappychinaplz:

Her abdominal tumor had gotten so big, that her organs barely had room to function. Couldn't eat much, had a hard time breathing, liver failed, blood clots formed in a vital area, etc. Her body was kind of a mess. At least she had some time to see people. 

I was told on the last day, that she sounded in high spirits and even joked a bit. So, I kind of hoped things would improve or something. We visited her that night, and she had already slipped into a coma. I thought she was joking with us, because of how loud she was snoring. But, no matter what we did, she didn't wake up. I couldn't stay with her once we figured out she was in a coma. Eventually, we had to leave to get some form of sleep. They told us they'd call us if something changes. And, sure enough, I was woken up by Dad at about 7am and told she had just passed away. 

It seemed a little too fast towards the end.:iconitalyishorrifiedplz:I mean, I know she was pretty sick, but things progressed faster than expected. At least, it was in her sleep, and she's not suffering anymore. Almost a funny side note is, her phone was still on while she went into a coma. So, she was connected to everyone even at the end.

I just couldn't bring myself to see her after she died, and was still in the hospital room. They wanted us to gather her belongings. Dad said that there were lots of flowers around her, and some tissues. It was hard on her too. She told me she felt that it was just an imposter. 

Had the funeral on Thursday. It was a nice service, and I think she would have liked it.:iconthailandplz:One of my aunts (her sister), came over from the east coast for it. Nice to have other family come out, and go through it with you. 

It was a very rainy day. Some of the 'reality' sunk in when I was watching the rain hit her coffin. And, when people went over and took a shovelful of dirt and dumped it on it. I like how at Jewish funerals, everyone grabs a shovelful of dirt and tosses it on the coffin. Kind of like each one of us helped bury her. Some people say something quietly to the deceased before they do it. My grandpa had emailed a eulogy to be read during it. It was sweet. The rabbi's eulogy was pretty good too. 

The only downside to it, was having everyone line up in 2 rows, and the mourners have to walk down the middle. Apparently you can't greet people or shake hands, you just walk through to your car. Kind of not as personal that way.:iconswissplz:My dad and aunt made it to the car pretty quickly. But, I was swamped with people when I was almost to the car door. I think they knew me more, so I guess it kind of makes sense. But, it was pouring out and they wanted to leave. So many hugs there.:faint:Plus, got a present from our Hadassah group. It's a picture of Mom, Dad (I think she's in it...), and I with a Mahj themed frame around it.

A few hours later we started to sit shiva, and there was a service. Sitting shiva is when people go into 'intense' mourning for 7 days. The mourners aren't technically allowed to do much of anything else. Both congregations have been providing meals for us. That first night, people brought a ton of food. Most of it desserts. We have so much food, we're not exactly sure what to do with it all.:iconseychelles-plz:

You're also supposed to light a yahrzeit candle that lasts for 7 days straight. It's a memorial candle. Normally, when not sitting shiva, it's lit on the anniversary of when the person died and it only lasts 24 hours. It's interesting to see a candle this big, and seeing it still going.:iconchibiswedenplz:

We've also gotten a huge amount of flowers and cards. Which is really nice. Makes the piano look like a shrine, though. What with those and the candle. Plus, a pic of when my mom was around 18. Before she had so many problems. And, obviously before I knew her.:iconkikuplz:

That first night we must have had like 50 people cram into our house. It was by far overwhelming.:iconusaplz:I didn't even get the chance to say hello to everyone. That service was short, laid back, and nice. We shared some memories of her. After the service, there was some time to actually talk to people. There was a handful that really sincerely wanted to talk to me, and said if there's anything I need just call. 

Also, some said we should get together for lunch or something soon. In fact, one suggested possibly having lunch out together today or tomorrow. They hoped today, but that doesn't look like it's happening.:iconheroamericaplz:

What's been nice is a couple of my friends from high school, who are also my friends on fb said they would like to get together as well. I haven't seen and really talked to these people in about 9 years. It'd be so awesome if we do get together!:iconchibispainplz:One of them has been wanting to talk to me for a long time, but didn't know how to ask. It's kind of funny, because I didn't think any of them really cared like that. I've actually managed to talk a lot with that person in the last week or so. We were going to meet on Sunday, but something came up on her end. We're hoping to meet either on Thursday or Saturday. We've got a lot of catching up to do!:iconberwaldplz:It's something really nice to look forward to.:la:Another one might get together with me in a couple of weeks. That's pretty cool too. 

In about a month, a couple of members from our Hadassah group were thinking of taking me out, too. One of them said it could be anywhere I want, and not to worry about how expensive things are. That's hard for me to do, in normal circumstances.:iconnorwayunimpressedplz:Even when it's my b-day I have doubts about how expensive something is. 

So, I might eventually get my social life up and running again. It hasn't been like that in years. Went to a Bat Mitzvah on Saturday. I didn't really want the focus to be on me, I wanted it on the Bat Mitzvah girl. It's her special day, and it should be joyful.:iconchibipolandplz:But, especially after the speech the mom gave, that mentioned my mom, people swamped me again. It's almost too much attention for me.:iconpolandplz:People hugged and talked to me so much, by the time I got to the 'lunch', there was mainly dessert left at the tables. I'm getting kind of tired of sweets at the moment.:iconwtfukplz:

My aunt left that day too. She had made copies of the funeral service that she tape recorded. One for us, one for her, one for the other aunt on that side, and the last one for my grandparents. Kind of giving them the feeling of actually being there with us. It was a surprisingly good recording. Surprising, especially because of the rain. But, somehow it set the tone of the mood more. I couldn't sit through the entire recording when they listened to it here. It was just too much.:iconwtfromanoplz: 

Somehow, it's sinking in even more today. Probably because I'm alone at home. It's weird, its felt unreal the last several days. I think the 'light' feeling's starting to subside a bit. I saw my new psychiatrist the day we had the funeral. That was, I think, pretty overwhelming to him too. I'm thinking about maybe changing my therapist appointment to something sooner. 
On a lighter note, I started watching Mikeneko Holmes no Suiri, or Mystery with Holmes, the Calico Cat. I can tell already this has become another fave. Kind of funny that both Ohno and Aiba have shows airing in the same season, and I'm watching them. Ohno and Aiba are from the band Arashi. I'm not sure if I've seen Aiba in other dramas, but I'm liking his acting, too. Katayama Yoshitaro became a detective after having followed the will of his father who had been known as a great detective. However, Yoshitaro can't step into murder scenes because he faints whenever he sees blood, and criminals can easily slip away since he has a fear of heights. He also has a fear of women and ghosts. He happens to believe whatever people say. He's tried in vain to resign, but his brother Hiroshi, who loves mystery novels, and his sharp-tongued sister Harumi always manage to convince him to remain as a detective. One day, Yoshitaro finds a calico cat that seems to understand what people say, and has great reasoning skills. With the help of hints given by the cat, Yoshitaro luckily succeeds in solving cases. He reminds me a lot of Monk. More so than Ohno's drama. A detective who has so many phobias, but ends up solving difficult cases. The cat's hilarious. (With him, it also reminds me of the Cat Who... mystery novels.) Apparently, it changes into a human periodically. I'll probably learn more about it as I go, but it's very interesting so far. 

Started re-watching Bleach. I might continue with it until the next anime season. I stopped at about episode 4 when I was watching it with my anime club in college. Been curious about it again.:iconchibisitalyplz:Especially, because the series ended recently. It's better than I remember it being. Tsuritama has been interesting. Not exactly sure where it's headed, but it's definitely unique. I'm really loving Acchi Kocchi, though.:love:Hilarious and cute. Actually reminds me of stuff we did in high school. Obviously not the same, but similar stuff. 

Naruto Shippuden is finally getting back to the main story line.:dummy:The next great ninja war is about to start. Looks like it'll be epic. Fairy Tail's been interesting too. Not really intense, and not much to do with the main story. Although, we might get to learn more about Lucy's father soon. 

Kekkaishi's been interesting to watch. I'm still reading it. The spirit dogs have different voices than I expected, and they seem to be mixing different parts of the story together. It's ok, makes a different perspective, I guess. It's still not the best series, but not bad either. Hyouka's been pretty interesting. Not sure where that's really going either. But, it's good. Not liking the ending sequence too much though. Looks slightly ecchi.:iconromanoplz:

deviantART faves: APH:Romania I did not make this! A pretty cool drawing of Romania from Hetalia. Interesting effects throughout. 

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