Thursday, June 7, 2018

24th of Sivan

Went to the local trans meeting last night. There weren't very many people this time. One person told me she realized that she's demisexual recently. That was cool. Demisexuals or demis are on the ace spectrum, aka ace-spec. Sometimes written as a-spec, but aros use that too, and can get confusing that way. Not all ace-spec people are aro-spec...Anyways, they're the grey area between asexuals and sexuals. (Sexuals are also referred to as allosexuals or allos.) Essentially anyone in that area has very little sexual attraction, or has it under certain conditions. Demis only have it once an emotional bond has formed. Before that, they're basically ace. Fraysexuals are basically the opposite. They have sexual attraction, but it fades away as soon as that emotional bond is formed. I think one of the new people said they were demi, too. Awesome! 

We also talked about squishes and qpr's. Squishes are like platonic crushes, and a qpr is a queerplatonic relationship. Many aro aces want qpr's and have strong squishes, like me. Especially if you're aro ace, many of us go by our platonic attraction for a qpr. I'm pan this way. I can be attracted to anyone platonically. It's not really the same as being 'just' friends with someone. It's much deeper. It's like having the urge to be super close best friends with certain people. It's a bit hard to explain...Some are attracted to the same gender, some by another gender, some to 2 or more, some to all, etc. this way. There's even aplatonic. Some people will say who they're attracted to that way by saying they're queerpanplatonic, using myself as an example. It might be a bit weird for people who aren't both aro and ace or on those spectrums. On the other hand, I think it might be an interesting thing for people to think about. I think these sort of things should be taught in schools to introduce different types of relationships, and let people learn more about themselves. 

All this had nothing to do with trans stuff, but we had ran out of things to talk about with that...I think the new person that was there this time and last week, likes me. (More like a friend not romantically.) We're both enby, and upon hearing that his (last night that was his pronoun, he's genderfluid) ears seemed to perk up. Sat next to me this time, too. That's cool. I was happy there was another enby, too. I wish there were more agender people, though...I think he thought I was much younger than I am. He's 19. He asked me if I was about to start college. (The meetings are held at a college.) I said I haven't been attending college for about 10 years. He looked a little disappointed. I find it odd that people still think I look that young. By people of that age group, even. 

Tried to get the carrot cake at Shari's afterwards. They were out of it for the 3rd time in a row...It must either be there to take up space on the menu or it's extremely popular. I got the banana cream pie instead. I like that they put actual banana slices towards the bottom. Feels more 'real' that way. 

Started feeling really awful just before going to group last night. It was worse today. I've been feeling really lethargic, a tension headache that covers my entire head, like I'm going through clouds, walking through mud, throat's itchy and swollen, my temp's low (normally it's pretty low, but this is by quite a bit from my norm), more nauseous than usual, and like I'm talking slower and softer. It might have seemed weird last night. It was so bad today, I had to take a nap. I'm not a napping person. I usually only nap when I'm sick, and it has to be pretty bad. Had a hard time sleeping, but I think I got some in. My head was in even more pain when I woke up. I'm wondering if it might be signs of anemia. I've been anemic before, but this seems a little different. 

Rosie wanted me to eat a lot all day. Every time I was downstairs and moved, she ran to her bowl, made like she was going to eat, then looked at me, then at the refrigerator, etc. Even if I had just eaten. She even tried to get me to eat while I was upstairs. I think she thinks the answer to all ailments is to eat. It wasn't like she didn't have food. When I did eat, she seemed happy, hugged me a lot, purred, and watched the backyard. It was also like she was guarding me while I ate, which was also a little unusual. She knows something is up with me. 

Submitted the paperback version of the cookbook. When I saw the preview, I noticed that they had it as 158 pages, when Word's version (sized to what the paperback would be) is 160 pages. I approved it, and clicked save and publish before that really sunk in. What if it's missing those 2 pages? What if things like the table of contents are off because of it? It seemed fine when I saw the other stuff and before I realized the page thing. I just didn't look at the last page. I guess I'll find out after they approve it. Maybe it was just an approximation of the page count or something. It's under review at the moment, and I can't change or check things until it's live. I'll get more of a royalty from the paperback than I realized. 60% of the $14.99. I'll earn roughly $2 more than the ebook. The ebook became live within 12 hours, but isn't completely 'connected' to me yet. (Can't even see sales, if there are any, yet.) All the details aren't up yet either. At least both versions will be out very soon. I'll tell everyone once that's all settled. 

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