National Peanut Butter Day!

Most of the time, I love peanut butter. A little goes a long way. I can only have the smooth kind now, since whole and chunks of nuts can upset my gut. Sad that I have to stay away from most nuts this way. Smooth peanut butter, however, is one of my comfort or calming foods. I would think with how rich it can be, that it'd be a trigger as well. Luckily, it's not.

Last week there was a local trans meeting. It was a lot better than the meeting before that. For that one, if it had been my first time there, I wouldn't have come back. One of the members was rude to me and a few other people. She has a weird thing with enby people. I don't know what it is...It's unnerving. I think she was the one that brought up that Washington state is planning to add the 'x' option for birth certificates. X standing for non-binary genders, along with the f for female or m for male. A lot of states have either done some form (IDs and/or birth certificates) of this already or are considering it. It has stirred up 'debate', and some people are scared about it. I'd be freaking happy with that x on everything, personally. When you're neither m nor f, it puts you in a funny spot if those are the only options. Anyways, she was worried that they'll take away her f or do away with both the m and f, if they make this change. Why? Why would they take away your f? This is for enby people. We're not taking away anything. Although, no one really needs gender on their IDs. If we do have them, like now, there should be an option for others. I know there was also an argument by some nurses saying they won't know how to treat patients that have the x. That we're somehow going to destroy their system. Maybe the system needs to be updated. Maybe medical professionals should put things on forms/reminders like: those who have a vagina, penis, breasts, etc. That sort of thing. It makes it seem colder, but on the other hand it doesn't out people necessarily and everyone might feel a bit more comfortable. That's basically what the gendered stuff in health boils down to. It wouldn't be awful to make a system like that. 

She also made me feel awful about how I felt about something. It somehow didn't seem that big of a thing. At some point, it felt like she was interrogating me about it. She also seems to think being enby is a young person's thing. It isn't. Just because some people are figuring it out earlier (thanks to the internet), doesn't mean others won't find out later in life. Is being binary trans a young person's thing? No. Same with enbies. I've been surprised by the age group in the enby group I'm in on fb. There are people in their late teens, but we have a lot that are in their 50's and 60's. I think one person said they were 73, and they only realized a few years ago. I also want to learn more from the older generations and their stories/experiences. It's really cool to have that mix. 

This time the 'I' statements and not 'you' statements were stressed at the beginning. I think this helped a lot. She seemed to not talk as much...At least, she was a lot more polite and not as in your face. 

One of the members said I should try the Binder Reminder app, especially if I'm thinking of getting a chest binder. It reminds you when you need to take it off, do special exercises, etc. I think it also lists resources. The down side...it's an Android app. I have an iPhone. There is no iPhone alternative. Sadness. I could create my own reminders, though. Maybe using alarms on my phone based on what's recommended. It's a makeshift solution, at least. I'm glad that he brought it up to me. He didn't know about it until a few days before, because someone on Tumblr mentioned it. Tumblr seems to be the go-to place for a lot of LGBTQ+ stuff, but also for the haters/gatekeepers...I've stayed away from it for a while now because of those haters. I don't need that. 

I also liked that someone came back from some sort of LGBTQ+ retreat, had wanted to do one of the exercises they brought up. She asked us for trans positivity terms. At the workshop she was in all that people were coming up with were negative for the trans section. Absolutely nothing positive. We came up with a long list in just a few minutes. It was cool to see. Some were very creative and moving. I brought up diversity. The community is extremely diverse, and that's a very positive thing to me. There was also sassy, divine, wise, spiritual, weird (in a good way), and many more. 

Oh, recently trolls have been raiding trans groups on fb. Specifically making it a point to target enby groups. (One of the admins in the enby group I'm in mentioned it a few days ago.) Apparently, they think if we're bombarded by bigotry and the 'truth', that we'll somehow realize we were really cis all along. It's weird. Also, that we're too 'confused' and are 'mentally ill', so we again need to be set straight. Raiding is when they flood a group with their members and suddenly start trolling/spewing hate, then they'll report their own posts repeatedly. I'm not exactly sure how this works, but eventually that group will have too many reports and will be shut down. They've managed to shut down several groups in the past. Apparently they do this during certain times of the year, so it's dubbed raiding season. Often, in order to stop it, groups will go secret during that time. They'll scrutinize each post more, too. It makes it extremely hard to join during those times, but they need more of a safeguard. It's kind of sick to think about people raiding on a regular basis, or even ever. Maybe this is why when I started looking for enby groups, not many were showing up? How do you stop people like this? 

We got Rosie and Tasha 2 new toys. One looks like a sci-fi bony caterpillar. It's a 'wobbly bug'. If it's on the linoleum and is turned on, it vibrates and moves in circles. It doesn't move on carpet, and most of the house is carpeted...Rosie was terrified by it, and doesn't seem to like it even when it's off. I don't know how Tasha feels about that one. The other is 'Winged Chase', and it has a butterfly that whips around quickly when turned on. It actually looked cool that way, but again Rosie was scared of it while it was on. She loves it when it's off, though. She can bat and gnaw at it still. I don't know how Tasha feels about it when it's on. Dad told me that Tasha was playing with it a couple of mornings ago. So, maybe she likes it when it's off, too. 

I've been feeling like a cold or something is coming on really slowly the last few days. Runny nose, slight cough, sore throat at times, getting hot flashes in the morning, etc. I don't want to be sick. It can intensify symptoms of colitis. Even when the patient is in remission. (I oddly still get symptoms, although I feel I really have been in a strange flare most of this month.) So, it appears a little differently usually. If anything, I hope it's not the flu. I already got my shot, so I should be a little more protected. Still...it's scary.

I only missed a couple of days of writing so far. Not too bad. It's mainly been because of feeling 'sick'. I'm a few pages into chapter 3 of Alliance 3. This part has been fun to write. I won't say much, because it might spoil it. 

I started writing out the seafood section of the cookbook today. Got 6 of them done. That's good, I think. One of them was dated as 1966, which I think is the oldest. Maybe she found the recipe much later, but it came from that year? She would have been about 11 years old. I don't think she would have started this so early... (If she did, that's really impressive.) She tends to not give too many details about things. Her handwriting is difficult to read at times. I'm perfectly fine with reading cursive, but she wrote it in a very loopy and bubbly way. I know she was mainly writing them for herself, but it's still a slight pain. I found a few recipes she wrote down of Dad's. They're interesting. I stopped at the fish recipes that she got from a grocery store a long time ago somewhere. It doesn't say where. So, I'm crediting it as just 'from a grocery store'.

German has been interesting. Today, among a lot of other things, I learned the word for gender: Geschlecht. (I thought there was an r between the e and s, but the wiki has it like this.) The sentence example Duolingo had translated to: Is gender important? Very interesting. I also looked into enby terms in German, and there's a wikipedia article on it. Apparently actually saying 'gender' is also used in German sometimes. So is 'agender'. However, another way they say agender is: Geschlechtslos. That seems harder to say. I'm glad there's an actual German equivalent, though. Gender identity is: Geschlechtsidentitat. The a has the 2 dots over it. I should probably try getting the German keyboard on my desktop, like I did for Japanese. The community over there has come up with several gender-neutral pronouns, too. It is a gendered language so to read about how they navigate it is interesting. They have several words for non-binary as well as for the shortened form, enby. Nichtbinar (a has the 2 dots again) seems to be the most 'formal'. It's literally 'not binary'. There's also nibi for enby. I find it a little frustrating still that their 's', 'ch', 'z', 'v', 'd', and probably a few others; change their sound depending on a certain order. I'm still trying to figure some of that out, because they don't actually go over that. I'm at least seeing some sort of pattern. Sometimes the 'ie' and 'ei' slip me up a bit. Ie is pronounced as 'ee' and ei as 'ai'. I knew before about the ei thing, but just seeing them together, sometimes in the same word, is tricky. My brain tells me it only makes sense to switch them, but that's obviously not true. Their words are getting longer with each lesson. I know they do that, but it still seems scary at first. I like how the lit. translation for I'm hungry is: I have the hunger. (They do this with thirsty, too.) It's a different way of thinking again. I'm noticing that they apparently capitalize their nouns, too. That freaked me out at first. When my throat started having issues, even now, they haven't been picking up on my voice well. 

I've been posting the same pics I post on Instagram to deviantART. Most of the time, I don't share them in groups on there anymore. They're still managing to attract people. One person faved over 50 of my food pics or 'deviations'. Most were from before I had a long inactive spell. I was really surprised. That's a lot, and that never happens with me. They later added me to their 'watch' list. Those are like artists they're following on there. They said they just really love my food pics. I've also gotten more llamas on there lately. Llamas can be given by other members as basically a way to say they like your art. It's an in thing. Depending on how many llamas you get, your page's llama gets upgrades. Mine made it to white super llama recently. It's a fun little thing. I've also gotten more follows than I expected on Instagram. That's made it to a little over 60. I'm only following 26 people myself. Also, getting more and more likes with each thing I post. People especially like the food stuff.

Youtube:

Most of these are from before I found those Boku no (My) Hero Academia amv's that I shared last time. Also, I decided to try Blogger's youtube vid search/insert instead this time. Not all of them showed up in the search. Oh well. Youtube's actual site is weird on my desktop, so this was easier. (I can't embed/add video through the app I have.) Not sure why the other ones weren't there:

Fairy Tail:

Pandora Hearts (This one seems to change the meaning of the song, and it surprisingly fits):

Servamp:

Bungou (Literary) Stray Dogs:

National Hot Tea Day!

This holiday was a few days ago. Yay! I love hot tea. Or, really either way, cold or hot. The hot one feels like a nice warm bath for my insides. The cold one is nice and refreshing. I love almost any kind of tea, regular or herbal. I don't remember too many I've hated. I think the only 2 that come to mind were the ones served by the Bedouin's when I visited Israel about 7 years ago. They were 2 types of a special mint tea. I normally love mint, but they put in a bunch of bitter things, and there wasn't anything to sweeten it with. I drank all of a cup of one of them, to be polite and because I'd feel guilty for declining it. It's hot tea month, so it was celebrated twice that day? Interesting. Today the first day of Shevat. The month Tu B'Shevat falls in. Yay!

This is my January wallpaper. I couldn't post it before, because my desktop's internet connection was wonky. It has been really weird for the past several months. It's not too bad right now. Again, this is Kekkai Sensen or Blood Blockade Battlefront themed. It seems to be of the ending sequence to the 1st season. Libra (the secret group the main characters are members of) essentially keep the peace and hunt vampires in Hellsalem's Lot, which used to be New York City. 

I'm keeping up with writing everyday except Saturdays. I'm close to 20 pages into the next Alliance sequel. Maybe I'll just call it Alliance 3 for now? The 2nd chapter is on a new character's backstory. The character was introduced and had a few appearances in the 2nd book. It just so happens that she's agender. My first character that is. I wasn't expecting it. She uses she/her pronouns because she thinks it's easier for other people than they/them. She was referred to as Subject 6 up until she was in her early teens. Somewhat of a hint as to what her past was like. It's a difficult one. She's gone through a lot. Her eyes change colors, and with each change her mood and personality changes as well. That's kind of fun and unique. Her normal eye color is weird, too. It's like TV static or snow.

With the cookbook, I went through a bunch of Cornish hen recipes. There were 6 of them alone from Tyson that Mom had. There have been a couple of others after that. I kind of want to make one of the Tyson ones. There's a grape and wine based one, a garlic one, roast one, etc. They're from the 80s, but still sound good and simple. We got Cornish hens recently, and Dad made one for herself. The other's for me when I want to make one of those recipes. I still have to finish a lot of leftovers before then. (A chicken broccoli cheese casserole, chicken ravioli, bread that's getting really old, etc.) I don't want to waste food. The hen in the freezer will probably keep long enough after I finish everything else. Also, got to some of the duck recipes. They sound good as well.

I found 2 new helpful health apps recently. One is Poop Tracker, the other My Colitis. Poop Tracker sounds disgusting, but it's important for IBD patients to keep track of it. Everyone poops...It's kind of funny how in depth they are about it. Much more so than My IBD Diary was. Things like the color, more 'types' of the 'official' shapes, amount, pain, etc. Each entry is called a Log, too. Adds to the humor a bit, I think. 

My Colitis seems a lot better than IBD Diary, too. Their 'poop tracker' is in depth as well, but not quite as much as PT. Although, they ask for what symptoms the person experienced and severity of the pain. They also have a med section. You can set reminders, log when you took them, and what type they are. There's a section for meals. They ask you what type of meal it was, to describe it, say what your appetite was beforehand (the options are a lot more detailed than I thought they'd be), if there was pain after it, and what sort of reactions you had after it. There's a detailed section for moods. One for symptoms and tests. Odd that they ask if your pregnant first for that. There's a section that breaks down everything with reports. So, you get an idea of what might be triggers, how often you went to the bathroom, if you're flaring, your mood, symptoms, etc. For the bm one they list the average daily amount, form it most often took, most frequent hour and day of the week, pain level, and more. Really in depth about this part and other reports. You can see graphs on them as well. I really needed something that was completely IBD based and this is it. (IBD Diary didn't have much to it. Didn't seem like it was really for people with it.) Not only just IBD, but colitis. That's a big plus. They also list resources and support groups.

Finished Kino, and I didn't remember her backstory. She was originally from a country that when you turn 12, they give you a surgery to turn you into an adult. It was a lot more messed up than it sounds. She doesn't remember her real name. She took the name Kino after the real Kino saved her, but was killed by her parents. She was going to be killed, because she didn't want the surgery. All the children that refused must be eliminated. She took the real Kino's motorcycle, Hermes, after he coaxed her into trying to survive by getting on him and riding out of the country. He thought if she died, he'd lose his purpose. It was weird seeing (the 'new') Kino with long hair. It also makes me wonder if she's immortal if she didn't have the surgery. Since that country worked differently. Maybe she's been at it longer than we think. The last episode hinted at a sequel, which would be interesting. Hermes mentioned that it was the end of her journey. Kino replied that a new one will start when she wakes up. The last minute or so she woke up from her nap, and said a new journey starts now. I'm curious as to what happened to the ex-prince who was traveling with a talking dog and violent (she loved holding grenades and knives) quiet girl. The ex-prince (technically king of a country that the citizens ended up killing each other) was saved by Kino, and every so often there were episodes that followed his travels. With the last one he was in, he was looking to immigrate somewhere, but none of the countries he went to were accepting immigrants. Kind of sad. He seemed the most 'normal' character. I want to learn more about Kino's teacher, too. She was badass. How did they meet? What happened to her?

I've made it pretty far into One Piece. I'm about 260 episodes behind, but currently in the 550's. I'm getting there. (I've been skipping fillers, which takes out a lot of episodes.) I like it a lot more than I expected. The only thing I don't like are some of the styles the characters have after the 2 year jump. Franky's is the worst. I know he's a cyborg, and even more so now after the accident at the lab, but it's like they went a little too over the top with him. He's a lot more 'robotic' looking. They messed with Brook's style, too. Made him look like a 70s funk and soul singer. Before, he looked like a classical musician. I liked that style a lot, and it seemed to suit him well. Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji didn't seem to change much. That's good. Luffy's wearing frillier clothes, Zoro seems to have lost an eye, and Sanji has more stubble. It seems they whitened Robin's skin color, which isn't cool to me. Otherwise, she seems the same. Nami got skimpier clothes and bustier. Not that great either. Usopp actually looks better. Much tougher. I think his somewhat dark skin color stayed the same, which is good. Chopper pretty much just changed his hat. So, I guess he's like those others I mentioned. Their new abilities are awesome, though! Much cooler. Even the 'weak' members are really strong now. The current arc, Fish-man Island, has been stretched out a lot, and it finally seems close to the end of it. They'll finally be able to explore the New World. I like that they've tackled a lot of heavy issues well so far. Humans being racist towards the fish-men and merfolk, gender diversity (issues relating to it), genocides, gender inequality, corrupt politicians, corrupt government (The Marines are really twisted, and they have a hand in everything), the rich vs the poor, etc. I'm surprised they even touched on these topics. Some of them a lot more often than others. It's definitely not for children, but it's got a lot going for it. Especially for a show about pirates. 

I hope to get back to drawing soon. Might do some that are related to Alliance. Oh, and someone who I haven't really spoken to since high school facebook messaged me recently. We've been facebook friends for a while. Anyways, she wanted to learn more about self-publishing. She later said she though it was so cool that I already published 4 books, and that I'm writing 2 more. It was nice to hear that she thought I was a cool person, too. I've stopped playing my clarinet for now. I probably won't play it until it's recorked. It seems awkward to play at the moment. 

Youtube: 

I finished the 2nd season of Boku no (My) Hero Academia, so I looked at amv's related to it. It's partially to share a bit of what the series is like on here. Here are some:


 

National Milk Day!

I don't like it by itself, but if it's in or with things, it's great! Drinking it, by itself, has always given me a weird reaction. It's the same one I get with most juices. My throat starts to close up, I get phlegmy, and it eventually feels like I'm suffocating. Not sure if it's a very mild allergic reaction or what, but it's always been that way for me. I apparently have no problem with chocolate milk...It's confusing that way. It's great for cooking, baking, adding to drinks like chai or hot chocolate, making cheese, ice cream, etc. A very versatile liquid. It should be appreciated for that. 

I might be leading a Tu B'Shevat seder. Tu B'Shevat is our New Year for the Trees. The name is actually a stylized way of saying the date of it. The 15th of Shevat, which on the regular calendar starts the night of January 30th and goes until sundown the next day. I didn't realize it was so soon. It's a rather minor, but beautiful holiday. Most people go for walks, hike, plant trees, and generally outside stuff. 

A rather new custom is having a seder for it. Seder is basically a ritual meal. It lit. means order, so things go in a certain 'order'. Most people think of Passover when they hear 'seder'. This seder has Kabbalistic roots, which might be out there for some. (It's Jewish mysticism.) I think it makes it even more interesting and philosophical. Each season is represented by a different colored wine. Going from white to red. (If I remember correctly.) People like me who can't have alcohol have white and regular grape juice. We mix them a certain amount for the in between seasons. Each season has a different set of fruit and nuts to eat. We eat a lot of fruit and nuts for it...I think we're supposed to eat at least one fruit or nut we haven't had yet. 

My mom led Tu B'Shevat seders for a few years. People loved it. For many people, even though most were Jewish, hadn't heard of this seder. It inspired others to do it with the local congregations, too. I haven't actually been to one in several years. I still have Mom's haggadah (books to follow along with) printouts, and her notes on what type of fruit and nuts to get. The guests we'll have, I think, are colleagues of Dad's. They don't know much about Judaism, so this would be an interesting introduction. They might be interested in the Passover one, too. That's not until the end of March. The Tu B'Shevat seder should be interesting. I'm not sure why I feel excited about it. I do like the seder itself, so maybe that's part of it. Maybe it's also the chance to educate people in a way. 

I also decided to start learning German through Duolingo. I haven't really studied my Japanese in a long time, and I think I was tired of it. I love learning languages, and I think I like it most when I switch to different ones at some point. 

I started learning Hebrew when I was 7. Didn't do much conversational until a few years later. If there are vowels, I can read it fluently. Might only understand about half of it. It's different without the vowels...

When I was in high school and trying to decide on a language, I was somewhat leaning towards German. Some of my ancestors spoke it. Some also spoke Yiddish, which is a mix of mostly German, Hebrew, and a little of Russian. It's written out in Hebrew. So, it felt like I'd be connecting to my ancestors in some way. However, I'm not sure why, I decided to take French instead. I loved it, but I also felt a little pull to learning German someday. I did well with French, and took every class available for it. I think my teacher was sick of seeing me.

In college, I took Russian. I took it with a somewhat similar mindset as I would have with German. Again, I had other ancestors that spoke Russian, and some of those spoke Yiddish. I liked it a lot, and was doing well. I became very sick, and unfortunately had to drop it. It felt familiar in some way.

I was kind of thinking about starting Korean, but thought why not try what I wanted to first back in high school? I'm surprised at how much I already know. For the most part, it's rather easy so far. I'm finding the somewhat challenging parts are the verb endings, and occasionally getting a little confused by the masculine and feminine nouns. They don't really go over that sort of stuff on Duolingo. It seems they just expect you to memorize the correct way for certain sentences. I might want to look at online sites for that stuff. I'm still doing well on Duolingo with it. I'm even pronouncing it correctly according to them. They quiz you on pronunciation by having you repeat what was said into the mic. I haven't been wrong yet with that. You can do that on the quizzes/practice sessions, as well as just having a conversation with their bots. I haven't chatted with them yet. I also have a German keyboard on my phone now. Maybe in the future I'll go back to Russian.

I've decided to stop with restricting my calories starting tonight. I've felt increasingly nauseated for the last week, and I think it had something to do with it. I might go back to the unbalanced, as far as calories go, meals. I guess my system likes to have fewer calories for breakfast and snacks, and more for dinner. I don't think my system liked having everything so exact, too. So for now, I'm not going to care. I will try to get more protein, at least. I can think of the other nutrition stuff.

I'm almost done with watching the 2nd season of Boku no Hero Academia (My Hero Academia). I've been pleasantly surprised by this series. The creator said that they were heavily inspired by American comics, and you can tell. Especially with the number 1 hero, All Might. Almost everyone in their world has a quirk or special ability. There are quirk users who are mutants, too. Asui is one of them, being part frog. She can basically do anything a frog can, and she's one of the best characters. The main character, Midoriya or Deku, was born without a quirk. He later inherits one. He finally managed to figure out how to control it. It's even cooler now. I like that he actually thinks things through, and is one of the smartest in his class. So many shounen series have the main character not thinking first before acting, or being completely clueless. This one's different. The main villain is interesting, too. He has hands all over him, including one on his face. He has a quirk that can decay things when he touches them. More villains are slowly being introduced. There's going to be another season starting in April. I'd be surprised if they didn't have another one, considering I'm up to the final episode and it still feels like they're setting up the story.

Started Miira no Kaikata (How to Keep a Mummy) today. I didn't know what this one would be like. It was really good. Full of comedy, and the mummy is super cute. I don't feel like things are 'super cute' often. It's like a tiny wrapped up blob with tiny limbs and big white eyes. It often cries rivers of tears, and is painfully shy. Doesn't seem very mummy-like. Besides the wrapping around its body. Sora's father likes sending him weird otherworldly things from his travels. The mummy was one of them. He found it in Egypt, shipped it to his son in a coffin, and gave him a very thick manual of a letter. The mummy broke out of its coffin, and Sora was expecting it to be deadly. Instead he realized that the mummy was pitifully weak, yet really cute. He called it Mii-kun. Mii-kun was mimicking Sora's dog for a while. It learned how to bark, and tried to eat dog food. It really wants to impress Sora and is terrified it'll be sent back. From the intro/outro it seems other people get little 'monsters'. 

Started the last season of Gintama. It's bittersweet. This is my fave anime, and possibly show in general. Hopefully, they'll make it long. I think the manga is still going, even though the creator said it was ending soon. So, there's at least a little more time. The first episode was amazing! It actually gave me chills down my spine. Should be interesting to see where the story goes. They also had so many characters appear! Some we haven't seen since the very first few episodes. Still no shinsengumi yet. They should make an appearance soon.

Kino no Tabi (Kino's Travels): The Beautiful World has been good. I don't remember much of the original movie that I saw years ago, but it seems to have a slightly different atmosphere. I do remember that Hermes, a motorcycle, would talk to Kino and no one else could hear him. It made people think Kino had a mental illness or something wasn't quite 'right' with her. In this version people can clearly hear him, and have even kept up conversations with him. Quite a different aspect. People (viewers and even characters) still get confused about her gender. She doesn't 'act' or dress like a girl. She's an extremely good sniper, too. The animation seems better. The stories of the places she goes to are still really twisted. There's always something more to them. Often the countries she goes to turn out to be really violent or have odd views on killing others. The last one I watched was a bit different. The country was once corrupt and rude to travelers. Then, they realized a volcano was going to erupt and wipe out their beloved country, so they changed their attitude. They tried to be the kindest country they could be. Kino liked it there. The next day after she left, the country was destroyed. There was also one where you lose all memories of your time there, but they make sure you have a great stay. That one seemed to make her really frustrated. Especially when Hermes said he was allowed to remember everything, but couldn't tell her. 

I've managed to keep up with writing the next sequel to Alliance. I'm surprised at how fast that one's coming along. The cookbook has been interesting so far. Today I wrote out all 6 of the really old Tyson Cornish game hen recipes. There was very small type and it was fading. They sounded really good. I'm tempted to make some of them. One was garlic based, another one was Asian-styled with mandarin oranges, another one was champagne based, etc. Even just the sauces sounded good. 

Happy Belated New Year!

Wow, it's already 2018! (Although, on the Jewish calendar we're well into the year 5778.) Hopefully, I'll be better about posting this year. Last year, I tied with the year before on number of posts. Those last 2 years were my least active, though...The more I post, the shorter the posts will be. 

For my January wallpaper, the internet connection for my desktop is having issues at the moment. So, I won't be sharing the pic. (This app doesn't do well with pics.) Maybe in the future. It's of most of the main characters in Kekkai Sensen or Blood Blockade Battlefront. I think someone based it off of a screenshot of the 1st season's ending sequence. (So, if you've seen that, you have an idea of what it looks like. Others can look it up, too.) That song, Sugar Song to Bitter Step, was one of the best. The soundtracks to both seasons are great. It's funky and jazzy. Plus, the animation to it was cool and slightly cute. 

I didn't get a Jewish calendar again this year. I'll just go off of my google calendar. I did get a regular calendar that's weather themed. It has some beautiful pics. The only odd parts are that there are about 4 articles (one in between a few months each), and text for each day. The texts are info blurbs on weather in general and historical weather events. Makes it look very busy, has tiny font, and takes up about half of the space for each day. Not much room to add stuff. Even less when they have holidays listed. For this month's main pic it was taken on May 24, 2016, when numerous tornadoes hit Dodge City, KS. The storm produced a show of fiery mammatus clouds lit up by the setting sun as it moved away from Dodge City and weakened. It's cool looking. 

The month-long holidays for January are: National Candy Month, National Egg Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Meat Month, National Oatmeal Month, National Soup Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Apparently, it's all food holidays for the month. A lot of them seem vague, and you could do a lot with them. I usually have at least one cup of hot tea a day. I love tea! It feels like a soothing bath on the inside. Plus, the blends can be pretty creative, and just the plain stuff is great, too. Eggs are packed with nutrients, tasty, and interesting. I love the meats I allow myself to eat. Like, beef, chicken, turkey, and even buffalo. Good stuff. I probably could never be vegetarian because of that even if I wanted to. I have my own not so positive opinions on going vegetarian or vegan. The fanatics are scary, too. Oatmeal and candy are great. I don't particularly like having soup most of the time. I prefer stews. They tend to be heartier, and not mostly liquid. 

On New Year's Eve day, I had brunch with an old friend I hadn't seen in almost 15 years. That was back when we graduated high school. (Not sure if I saw her that day, so it may have been longer...) I only remember talking to her occasionally during lunch. I don't think we interacted often before. I still thought she was cool, and she also thought of me as a friend. We found each other several years ago through facebook. She reacted in some way to most of my posts. We didn't actually chat much. Last year, she was planning a trip back to the town I live in; and wanted to see me for at least one of the days she'd be here. Those plans fell through. I don't think she was able to even see family in the area. She recently moved about 20 minutes away from me. Much closer. She said she now has more time, and can meet up with people. She also had off that day. So, that's how that came about. The odd thing was she apparently doesn't have her profile up on fb anymore. However, we're still connected through fb's messenger...Not sure how that works. She has my phone number now, and said she'd rather call or text instead. The messenger's still texting, though...She likes most of my pics on Instagram, as well. That's interesting.

It was nice to see her. We talked a lot. Found out we have similar interests. After we went to brunch, she still wanted to chat more. So, we went to a local cafe. We were there for a while. I think she lost track of time at some point, and was late for something. She said she'd love to meet again either to have lunch/brunch together, cook at her place together, or something else. Sounded great. We'll see how that goes. It seems kind of surreal with not seeing or really talking to someone for so long and with them wanting to reconnect now. I like it, but feels a bit weird. 

I also have made a couple more friends on fb. One who found me through a couple of ace groups, and another one much more recently who met me at the local trans group. (I've made a lot of friends through this group already.) They're both cool people. The one I met face-to-face is non-binary, but leans heavily to the masculine side. So, he tends to say he's a trans man. Totally understandable, and awesome to know another non-binary person there. He's best friends with another member. They're both rather new to the group. We chatted for a while when I got home after the last meeting on messenger. I was tired and it was late, but I think we chatted for about a half hour. Longer than it should have been for the time. It was really nice, though. 

At the last local trans group, I ended up talking more than usual...I'm not used to talking about things that relate directly to me there. I talked about realizing I have gender dysphoria. A regular member was kind of rude about what agender people might be dysphoric about. (Not every agender person has dysphoria. Just like binary trans people.) I know she was just trying to understand, but it made me uneasy. A lot of things she said this time made me uncomfortable. She asked if gendered things can trigger it, does that mean it'd be better to have a little bit of both masculine and feminine qualities? She kept repeating this even though I told her: no, it means we wouldn't want either. Anything gendered can be dysphoric. If someone's androgyne, they might want what she asked. That's different. 

She also asked why I felt like I was breaking a rule or caring about how others perceive me. Why not just do what you want? Seemed to belittle how I felt, and some people jumped in saying they felt similar towards the beginning of their transition. She got a bit flustered. There were some other worse things she said that were inappropriate. If it was my first meeting, I'd be very reluctant to go again.

One of the new people said they were essentially questioning. They related a lot to what I said about my dysphoria, when I knew I was different, and how I realized. That was awesome to hear. They said they might have realized they're agender, after what I said. I think they're a bit more masculine than me, though. I think I'm really not leaning much either way. 

My gender expression (like how you want to dress/present) is different. I think I'm a mix that way. I know I like a lot of feminine things, and I'm realizing I might like more masculine things than I thought. This is of course what society deems that's supposedly 'gendered' a certain way. In reality, most of it really doesn't have a gender. Anyone can wear/use them. Anyways, I think it'd be interesting to explore this side of me more, too. If I do 'present' as a mix, I wonder how people will react? In a way, it sounds fun. In another way, scary. 

I also brought up chest binding. I've started to look a bit more into it. It seems the most recommended ones are either from gc2b or Underworks. There's apparently a lot of debate about which is best. I'm leaning more towards Underworks. I saw a really nice looking one on there. It's also cheaper than the same type on gc2b. All the reviews for it are positive. It's the most popular binder on there. Some of the reviewers were even agender. I was surprised by that and how many there were. That's a plus to me, for some reason...I'm thinking about their Ultimate Chest Binder Tank. It's long, and if I tuck it under my pants it's less likely to roll up. Plus, it might smooth out my belly just a little bit. I know it won't be much, but any amount is good with me. I think it's best with a tank top design, since it won't cover my arms, and might be less visible this way. The only thing is figuring out my size. Since I've lost so much weight, my bra size has gradually gotten smaller. (Not by a lot, but it's noticeable.) My current size is probably a little different than it was the last time I got one. They say if you know your bra size, it's easy to figure which size binder you need. I'll have to measure again. My new friend from that group said he can give me his binder that was too small, if it was my size. That was nice of him. It's a different design than I want, though. Him and another member brought up exercises and a few other things. I felt like a good chunk of the meeting was about me...

There was an ally who was new to the group. She's good friends with the person who made me feel uneasy. I liked her a lot more. She seemed a lot more respectful. She was a little odd. At the end of the meeting, she went up to me and said that I was brave. Why am I brave for talking about this stuff in a safe place like a trans group? Maybe it was because I said I was out to everyone? Still seems odd to me, but nice of her, I guess.

Dad and I were going to go to a New Year's Eve party at a couple's place. They've been family friends for a long time. Sadly, they had to cancel it, because their dogs were sick. I know one of them was having bladder issues last time we were at their place. Maybe it was related somehow. I hope the other dog wasn't too sick. So, instead, we had our own party at home. We ate a lot of snacks, watched things together, and saw the fireworks on TV. Not bad. 

On the 2nd, I went back to restricting my calorie intake. This time I'm shooting for as close to 280 calories for each meal as I can. It's a lot more balanced this way. I have a hard time with making my breakfast and 2 snacks big enough. Lunch hasn't changed much. It's a little more difficult to make my dinner smaller. It's an interesting dilemma trying to balance it all. I'm glad I have up to 2 treat days where I won't care each week. Gives me a break, at least. The problem with eating like this is the leftovers. It makes for more of them. I guess it can be looked at as a good thing, in a way. Won't have to make things as often, and it takes longer to get through things. Also, it's been more difficult getting enough protein each day. I need more than most healthy people, and I normally hardly ever reach half my goal for the day let alone to it. My Fitness Pal's app is amazing for keeping track of this stuff. 

I've been posting a lot of my meals to Instagram since the 3rd. Pretty much everything except for 'repeats' or most of the treat day stuff. Treat day meals are mainly shared if either I cook something new or I go to a restaurant. I've been listing the calories for each (except for treat day stuff). People apparently like this sort of thing. I mainly was doing it to better visualize what close to or on 280 calorie meals look like. I thought people would get angry with the influx of pics, but they're not. I'm gaining more likes than usual, and more followers. I'm just amazed. I started posting some of them on deviantART, and they seem to like them, too. I'm not even sharing them through groups on there anymore. Very interesting. 

I started writing another sequel to Alliance. It kind of hurts to write about something awful that happened to such a lovable character. Feels like my baby's hurt. However, it's part of the story...Other than that, I'm excited to see what happens next. I don't even know until I write it or the ideas come to me in my sleep. It just happens. 

Started writing a cookbook, too. It's mainly based on my mom's photo album where she stuffed a bunch of recipes in. Some have been passed down through the generations, her own things, a couple of Dad's things, newspaper clippings, from grocery stores, etc. A lot of stuff. She apparently started this in 1968. That's oldest dated one. Obviously some family recipes are older, but weren't written down until she did it later. The newest seems to be from the early 2000s. Interesting span of time. I remember, about 2 years ago, going through it and tossing out the really weird ones or ones I'd never make/have. That was quite a lot. There's a ton more left, though. 

The 1st recipe is a bit strange but interesting. It's coffee boiled over fire. They add an egg to it, and you cook it over coals. I'd be willing to try that someday. 1 of the 2 alcoholic drinks I left might still be good without the alcohol. It's a punch that family friends would make. The other one was one of her fave drinks. I couldn't toss it. Maybe someday I'll be able to have alcohol and try it. (I can't because of meds.) Other people who can have it might want to try it. There are a lot of recipes for Cornish game hens. I don't know why. We hardly ever ate them. I think with many of the recipes, she wanted to make them but never got to them. Some of them might have just been for sentimental reasons. There a a lot of Jewish recipes, and I've already made some of them. The ones I've used have been great.

I wanted to make all the recipes and add pics of each one to them, so people would know what they looked like. I realized I probably won't be able to do them all. I plan to make some of them, though. (More than the ones I've made in the past.) A lot of them sound really good. 

I also decided to try and do better about other parts of my health. I've been showering more often. It's been hard since I started feeling really fatigued about 2 years ago, due to my IBD. Last year was the worst that symptom, but I'm still going to try to keep up with this. Since I have a genetic skin disease (since both my parents had/have it, mine's worse than theirs), eczema, naturally sensitive, and more; the best 'schedule' for me is to shower every other day. If it's more often, I get reactions. Same thing with not doing it as often. My 'bumps' open up, they turn red, I get very itchy, more sensitive, eczema acts up, and more. It's not pretty. I was going for far too long between showers. With washing my hair, I shouldn't do more or less than every 3 days. So, my hair and shower need to be scheduled slightly differently. My hair gets pretty bad when I don't do it every 3 days. I've also been washing my face every night and day with a facial cleanser. Of course, with the exception of after or just before a shower (since I already wash my face with shower soap in it). I didn't do the cleanser before. Also, using lotion on my face after. The skin feels so much smoother, tighter, smells good, and is shinier. My shower soap seems to be helping a bit with my loose skin, too. I've got a lot of that. That's one of the downsides to losing weight (it's nasty), and it seems like it takes forever to tighten up. I don't have as many reactions with my skin now, too. Seems to be getting better. Also, my hair looks and feels nicer. So, hopefully my health will be better this year, and can keep it up.