Sunday, July 9, 2017

World Chocolate Day!

This holiday was last Friday. I love chocolate! Awesome there's a global day for it. There are so many things you can do with it. A few years ago, I read an article about a restaurant that's chocolate themed. All their meals have chocolate in them. They had chocolate soup, mole (an amazing savory Mexican sauce that uses chocolate as a base), curries with it, etc. Of course, lots of chocolate desserts. I wonder if it's still going? That would be awesome to go there. Perfect for this holiday. People could probably try to have a chocolate themed day at home, too. That would be interesting to do. 
This is my wallpaper for July. It's Leo from Kekkai Sensen or Blood Blockade Battlefront. Thought it looked a little like fireworks to go with the 4th of July. Kekkai Sensen takes place in New York City, so even that still goes with the theme. There's going to be a 2nd season in October. (They finally decided on a date.) The only issue I had with the 1st season, and apparently many other fans had, was that the final episode was 3 months late. At least, it was a longer episode than the others. Seemed like it was a movie. It's been about 2 years since the 1st season aired. That's a long time in itself. I've read that the 1st season had a different antagonist than the manga. So, it seemed to be a different story. The 2nd season might be closer to the manga. I haven't read the manga, although that might be interesting. For some people, the series seemed too complicated. I liked that aspect, though. It made you think. I wonder if the antagonist will actually be an ally in the 2nd season, knowing what happened at the end. He was occasionally possessed by a vampire called the King of Despair. His human self seemed 'good' and on the good guys' side. His nickname as himself was Black. I also want to know more about Leo's sister who's blind and wheelchair-bound. Should be interesting to see what they do with this series.

The Pusheen calendar has 3 different colored Pusheens. Each of them has a different colored heart near their butts. They're eating ice cream. One has what looks like a sundae with 3 scoops of ice cream that's actually the same colors as the Pusheens. Kind of creepy that way. One looks unhappy. She has what looks to be a big thing of swirled ice cream. Although, it does look kind of like a giant cupcake, too. The one with a scoop in a cone looks the happiest. There's also another thing of ice cream by itself with a cat head shaped cookie. The actual calendar has a shooting star with the same colors as the cats as a tail. Interesting one.

The month-long holidays for the month of July are: National Baked Bean Month, National Grilling Month, National Hot Dog Month, National Ice Cream Month, National Blueberries Month, National Honey Month, National Horseradish Month, National Watermelon Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Basically, summer foods this month. 

Marched with the local Pride group in a 4th of July parade. The theme was the parade's 50th anniversary. Actually had a float for it this time. There was a comedy award with a monetary prize, so they tried to go with that. It was a Scooby Doo one. They realized that Scooby Doo didn't come out until 1969, but it was close to '67 at least. There was even a cute Great Dane as Scooby. The kids seemed to really like it. There was also music from '67 coming from our float. (Except obviously there was the Scooby Doo theme.) I wore my flag and this year's Pride shirt. The one I didn't want to change into in public at Seattle Pride. Someone gave me a small American flag to wave around, too. I tried to dance a bit, but I think I mostly just ended up smiling and waving. Oh well. That's better than nothing. 

I also ended up with a sunburn on my face, even though I was in less sun than when we went to Seattle Pride. I didn't get any sunburn from that. It's especially bad around and on my nose, which travels in streaks across my cheeks. It's an odd spot. It started peeling there a couple of days ago. Hurt for a while, and now it's just like a light burning feeling.

I also met another ace! She heard about the Pride group marching, and joined us. She didn't know about the other Pride stuff. She had an ace shirt that had one of the popular sayings. The rest of her outfit was in ace colors. The shirt stood out the most. I was so happy to see another ace! I think she was, too. Although, she realized I'm older than she thought at first. And, therefore I think quite a bit older than her. I don't know how old she is, but it seemed like she was still in high school. I don't know. She comes from the same town, so that's cool. We talked quite a bit while we waited. I told her about the ace group I started on fb, and am trying to start offline. She joined the online one, and said she might go to the offline one. Yay! She might also be aro. At least, on the aro-spectrum. She's still questioning that, which is all good. She might be going to Pride fest on the 15th, too.

I'm hoping to bring a group flyer to Pride, and some info pamphlets on both aces and aros. We might get a lot more people in the group after they at least see the flyer. Pride is actually on the same day as an offline group meeting. So, I told the group that it'll be cancelled or they can come to Pride and see me. Or, just enjoy Pride in general. The next meeting after that should be interesting. I'm pretty sure some will actually show up. Just not sure how many. Maybe people will be more active online, too. Might finally be able to start doing the things I was planning for the group. I guess we'll see. 

I'm thinking of wearing the Planned Parenthood ace temporary tattoo I got at the Seattle Trans Pride. Might wear it on one of my cheeks, and maybe the rainbow one on the other? I also have a trans one. I'm hoping to find things that represent my 3 identities. Maybe small flags for aro and agender. If I see other stuff I'll be ecstatic. There might be some non-binary things in general, too.

It seems difficult to find info online about being agender or even just on the community. Interestingly, I think I'm finding the most stuff on Pinterest. Tumblr didn't have much. Tumblr's known for their large ace and aro communities, at least. Also, known for acephobic and arophobic people. So, things can still be iffy there. Some aces and aros can't handle being on there, and have refused to go back. Frankly, I'm starting to feel similar. I got rid of the app recently on my phone, and have only downloaded it again once or twice since. Fb doesn't have much in the way of agender-specific pages. I might join an aro ace and agender group on there. Cool that it's for people who are all 3. There was another one that I saw that's about qpr's. I think it'd be awesome to be in one, so I might join that, too. The problem with that, is I'm already apart of a lot of groups. Funny how I went from being in like one group to so many in just a year. Probably should cool it for a while on that. Plus, some members of many of those groups are all 3, too. It's just...not the same as being in a group specifically for agender people (or all 3), and another one for those that want to be in a qpr. 

I've also realized that many agender people feel like aliens, and that seems to be one of the mascots that represents us. I find this almost scary, considering I've felt like an alien because of it. (Scary because I used that word before I knew I was agender.) Maybe even because of being all 3. The idea of not having a gender, and no romantic and sexual attractions is really out there for other people. Having those things might seem like what makes others 'human'. Making someone like me feel more and more alien. I kind of like the alien mascot, though. There apparently are some agender fashion accounts on Instagram. Those are interesting. Since we don't have a gender, we wear what feels comfortable. This can make for some unique fashion. There's even an account on how to do genderless makeup. That actually sounds cool. I still think feminine looking clothes look better than masculine (and some unisex for that matter) clothes on me. Plus, they seem to have much more of a cool and fun variety. 

Also, I found some interesting sites that sell Pride stuff. Some of them are: Red Bubble, Look Human, Merchandace, Zazzle. Even Amazon has some stuff. So, if I don't find anything at Pride, I can go to those. They all have sections for my identities. There are even a few things that represent all 3. They also have non-binary stuff in general. I think the least amount of stuff was for the agender category. I guess the label is still pretty new compared to the others.

I got a call recently from the gastroenterology department about the referral and making an appointment. I've been pretty busy since (at least during the weekdays), and will call them back to make an appointment soon. Hopefully, tomorrow. I might look into their gastros a little beforehand, too. To see which ones might be better. Might ask a bit more about whoever I end up getting. I've recently read about one of the things to look out for is someone who's dismissive of your situation. It's common for medical personnel who don't know much about IBD. It's rare, but some IBD specialists do this, too. It can put an IBD patient's life at risk. That sucks that we have to be so careful. Hopefully, the next gastro won't be like that. As it is, I have to be put on some sort of med to keep the IBD in check. Even if I might still be in remission. 

Also, I've had really weird painful lumps behind my ear and down my jawline. It's not normal, and they're popping up more often than before. I'm hesitant in thinking this, but it might have to do with my lymph nodes. I don't really know, but they are happening in specific areas. I thought the first two would just go away on their own. That's why I wasn't too worried about it. Now that there are more of them, and they're not going away; it's a different story. Even eating feels a little weird with them. So, they might be really deep. 

I've apparently lost a lot of weight again. The thing is, I keep thinking I'm gaining. Yet, more than one person has told me otherwise. I recently ordered socks and underwear from Amazon. I'm not used to doing that. The socks seem form fitting, and a lot more narrow than my previous ones. It Feels better, though. My ankles used to be indistinguishable. Now, I can actually see them clearly. I also decided to try the next smaller size for the underwear. It actually fits so much better than the next size up did. So, I'm even smaller in that way. It's almost surreal to me. I still have to get new sneakers. My current ones have holes on the outside, have absolutely no tread, the sole worn down in areas, and some of those areas so much that it looks like it has scorch marks. I want to get more of the same style/kind. I like the colors, and it feels really comfy. Need to look into jeans, and a few other things, as well. I'm still not used to the idea that I'm smaller than I used to be. When I see things like this fit, it makes me feel a bit better. 

For a while, I was going through withdrawal of lamotrigine. I had forgotten to get it before I was close to finishing a bottle. I ordered it online, so I had to wait a while. I had gone down to about 1/4 of my usual dose for a few days. Then, nothing. That was dangerous. This is the only type of med, besides a multivitamin, I'm taking right now. It's for type 2 Bipolar. It's also known as an epilepsy med. So, if you miss even one dose, you feel it. (I'm at the highest dose you can take for it.) I felt dizzy, heavy headed, like my head was going to explode, like I was going through fog, it was hard to concentrate, and more. It didn't help that my face was sunburned and had the gut issues at the same time. Felt amazing when I went back to it at the full dose. It's really a miracle drug to me. Keeps me level, and has kept suicidal thoughts away. (There are many other benefits to it for me, but those are the biggest.) Helped me lose a little weight at first, too. That's a rare side effect. Type 2 has a lower low than type 1, and our mania is different. Often, the mania is more 'hidden'. We're at a very high risk of suicide without help of some kind. 

I've made it to just over 40 pages for the memoir. I'm surprised by that. So much in such a short time. Plus, I'm very close to 40 pages of the sequel to Alliance. Much closer to the other book now. I wonder how long it'll take to finish both of them? At this rate, it might take about a couple of months more. Crazy! My other 2 books took much longer. I also was writing one at a time. I finished the 4th chapter of the memoir. The topic was on music. Oddly, that's the shortest chapter so far. I say oddly because it has been such a huge part of my life. Next one is on cooking and food. So far it's been on: aro ace and agender, Judaism, pets and animals, and music. The sequel has gone in a direction I didn't expect. That actually makes it better in my eyes. Motivates me to write more. Plus, no one wants a predictable and boring story.

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