This holiday was yesterday. I love pretzels! Especially the big soft ones. The flavored smaller/hard ones are good, too. It was also Pumpkin Day. Pumpkin is basically the only type of squash I'll eat.
Maybe that'll change in the future. Took me a long time to like or be ok with pumpkin pie. And, other things with actual pumpkin in it. They don't actually use pumpkin in pumpkin spice products. It's just artificial flavoring. Might be why I like it, though.
I like some of the pumpkin spice drinks (the tea version is surprisingly good!), but I'm definitely not obsessed with it like some people are. It was Mince Meat Pie Day, as well. I love the dessert version. The one most people think of. There is an older, more traditional, version that is savory/semi-sweet and actually has meat. (I think it was originally with mutton.) That one's not that popular anymore, from what I read. I remember people kept telling me that the dessert version is an acquired taste. I think even my mom was weary of it. To be honest, I loved it the first time I tried it.
It's a fruity pie with spices. Today's National Potato Day. I absolutely love potatoes! (A lot more so than pretzels.) I could eat them all day everyday. I don't think that would be wise, though.
There are so many things you could do with them. It's the 4th day of Asexual Awareness Week. I've been trying to do at least one thing related to it online.
There are some sites and facebook pages that have AAW 'kits' for ideas of what to do each day. If you've come out and are very open with it, it's encouraged to do as much as you can to educate people, be visible, and/or help other aces. If people aren't out, it's ok. They don't have to be. They might feel like it's unsafe, or there are many other reasons for them to feel like they don't want to. That's perfectly fine. We do face discrimination or acephobia, but it might be quite different than other groups of minorities. Some seem subtle. The sad part is the more we're out there, the more likely acephobia will spread and become more dangerous.
I've read that many of what we're going through is similar to what bis and pans have gone through. Not exactly the same, but similar. We're considered invisible, people don't believe us, they say there must be something wrong with us, etc. Apparently, some states say you must consummate in order to be married. Which hurts aces, too. Not sure how they'd enforce this, but it's disturbing nonetheless. (I kind of don't want to know...
) People have forced aces to go through conversion therapy. Those same people force other sexual minorities to do the same thing. It's when they try to 'convert' people to be heterosexual/straight or, in their eyes: normal. This has driven many people to kill themselves. They use brainwashing and torture. It's not pretty. There are people who use rape specifically to 'turn' aces heterosexual. Saying it's for their own good. Some go through hormone therapy, thinking they are broken and need to be fixed because society tells them they're not normal. So, it's not just saying rude comments online. I might have had the more subtle or tame stuff happen, before I fully realized I was ace. It still doesn't feel good.
One was more recent, when I went to see a gynecologist to talk about getting another IUD inserted. (I have to be put under for it.) I don't use it for birth control, which for some reason some people have a hard time understanding. It's used to keep me from hemorrhaging, by regulating my hormones. Very important, and a lifesaver. Anyways, she laughed in my face when I answered no to if I'm sexually active. And, then she asked if I ever have been. When I answered I haven't, she laughed harder. She asked if I had a partner, and if I did, I must have a problem with him or something. There's a lot of assumptions and issues with asking that sort of thing...
I said no. She asked: will you ever have a partner and be sexually active in the future? It's kind of putting aros down with this statement, as well. I said I'd like a partner (one who's not romantic, didn't realize this at the time), but am not interested in sex. She said there must be something wrong with me, and it's only natural to have sex. Especially for someone my age. Are you scared of it? It was bizarre.
I came there asking for help with something else. Not to be ridiculed for not being interested in sex.When I did have a boyfriend, he also thought something was wrong with me for not being into it. (He never forced me to have it, thank goodness.) He even went to a doctor's appointment with me, and asked what they could do to make me want to have it. I also can't have things like pap smears (unless I'm knocked out), because it's very painful for me. I can't even use tampons. So, they automatically assumed I equated sex with pain. And, that was the reason I wasn't into it. No, that really wasn't it, but ok. The doctor gave me advice, told me some 'exercises' I could do (actually these might have been ok to tell me if just for the pain), advice for my boyfriend, and recommended some videos. It was a weird feeling. Society was basically telling me I should be into it, and it was just what humans were made to do.
There's also sex ed stuff. It's all aimed at heterosexual people. Aces view it in a different light. Many other sexual minorities do, I'm sure, too. There's a push to be more inclusive of everyone for it, which is great. Not sure when it'll be more widespread, or how many teachers already do. I have heard about a sex ed teacher who is ace, and he tries to make it more accessible to everyone.
Just so people know, aces can have sex. Asexuality does not equal celibacy. This is a huge misconception. Although, some aces are celibate. Some do it for the pleasure, some to please their partner, some to have kids, etc. There are many reasons. The ones who do it for pleasure aren't necessarily 'cold' to their partners. They may care about them romantically, emotionally, or other ways.
There are many different types of aces. Some who are sex repulsed, sex positive, curious, just meh about it, negative (think no one should have it), and more. There are even flags for many of these. Like I mentioned before, I'm sex repulsed, yet curious. So, the idea personally repulses me, yet I'm very curious about it. Very weird feeling.
I'm very sex positive, which means I'm for others having it if they so choose. (Sex positive can also mean for people who choose not to have sex.) As long as it's with a consenting adult. Also, I'm for discussing it educationally. That's important. I'm still unsure if I want kids in the future, too. It's an odd thing for many aces. But, there are other ways of having kids besides the 'old fashioned' way. So, who knows? If I do, I could use one of those many alternative methods. On the other hand, my ovaries have jeopardized my health in the past. I've debated whether to just get rid of them, too. I'm not sure if being pregnant would kill me, too. Combining that, my IBD, and a couple of other things. Yet, I have this weird feeling that if I do have a kid, it has to come from me. Not being adopted. I know that many kids need to be adopted, though. It's complicated.
I've heard that many aces are in the BDSM community. Apparently, they've been one of the most welcoming communities for aces. That's fascinating to me.
I guess because aces already feel different, and many of the members of that community can relate that way. Some aces are embarrassed to admit this, though. So, outside of that community, it's not talked about much.There are ace elitists, too. These people disturb me.
There are 2 different types that I've noticed. One is thinking that sexuals are less than aces. Like, we're somehow better because we don't have that attraction. This is dangerous, to me. Sexuals can't help who they are anymore than we can. It alienates allies as well. It's also like hating 99% of the world. By the way, the percentage of aces may be higher than 1%, since most of the studies that indicate that are really old, and most center on one country. Plus, many people might not know about it, or are scared to put it down. Still, you're hating most of the world if you think this way. That's totally not cool.
The other one is about being a purist. This one might disturb me more than the first. They often will be both types. It's about what makes a 'true' ace. They feel if you've never had sex, you are a better ace than those who have. Or, feel those others aren't even ace. They're just confused. They also feel that aces should only be with aces. Some feel that a true ace doesn't have a romantic attraction. (Encountered this recently in the comments section on an ace fb page for an article they shared about misconceptions.
) They're separate attractions, though...Even non-aces can be aro. That's excluding a huge portion of the community who are romantic. To me, if you put down certain people of this community, even if I'm not like them, you put down everyone. These people have weird ideas of what makes one truly ace. They go further than the sex stuff, from what I've read. Why would there be infighting among aces? I can't wrap my head around it. Hence, why I'll never be, and am totally against, an ace elitist. I think they're a very very small portion of the community, but they can still cause a lot of harm. Worse, in some cases, than what we might get from society as a whole.
Even some LGBT people seem to hate us. A very small minority of them, but they seem very loud online. In person, even less of them. Or, they only hate the, in their words: cis het aces. You can't be both heterosexual and asexual. That's like saying you prefer the opposite gender and no one sexually at the same time. It doesn't work that way...
Some aces use hetro instead, or even call themselves straight aces. They usually won't leave off the ace part. That would erase part of their identity. So, calling them just straight isn't cool, either. Some, even a smaller amount of people, consider aro aces as 'basically' straight. This makes even less sense to me.
I started my own local ace group on facebook. If there's enough interest, we could meet offline. This is my main goal.
The closest one is across the water, and can be difficult for people in our area to be there on a regular basis. Or, even just to get there in general. They meet twice a month, and sometimes have extra social gatherings. It'd be cool to maybe do something like that here. So far, there are 7 members. If I include myself, I know 5 of them. So, at least 2 people, I don't know, are interested. Wahoo!
It's something. I think someone told me they had some friends who are ace who live in the area, and they might invite them to the group. That's awesome! So, there's potential for more.
I basically advertised on the closest group's fb group, and the Northwest region one. So, that might help, as well. I have many ideas for this group. One of them was to end each meeting with a cake potluck. Everyone would bring a cake, or different dessert if they prefer, to it. The cake thing is about a meme that was going around on AVEN. Saying (something) is better than sex. The majority liked the cake is better than sex one the most. Someone also made a story built around the cake idea. It's long, but sad and cute at the same time. Some aces prefer other desserts like pies. It's still the same idea. It'd be a nice, fun, and positive ending to the meeting.
I've been reading notes that the closest group puts out once a month. It's on what they discussed, events, and any speakers they might have had. In the most recent one, they had someone from the Center for Sex Positive Culture speak. They want to be more inclusive for aces. They have about 3 events that are ace-friendly, but would like input on more future recurring events. The one's they have currently are: blanket fort, aces wild, and one other one. (I don't really want to write it out...) Blanket fort is just that, with optional cuddles. Aces wild is kink without sex. The last one has to do with being close/intimate mentally. They refer to it as basically having mental sex, not physical sex. Seems like it's on another level. They sound interesting. The blanket fort one sounds kind of fun. It'd be interesting to find out what other events fellow aces would be interested in there. One person commented that they thought it'd be cool if there were a basket of kittens or puppies type of event. Kind of funny and cute.
They can't do that, though. I like that they try to be inclusive. Sounds truly sex positive this way. I've been in so much pain lately, especially at night. It's actually brought me to tears.
Getting less and less sleep, too. So, things might seem a little odd. My energy is draining, too. Not sure if it's because of the lack of sleep, the pain, both, or something else related to what's going on health-wise. I don't usually get telemarketers on my iPhone. Suddenly, this past week I've had several. Some calling every couple of minutes.
Never leaving a message, except for 2 of them. This has actually woken me up several times. Adds more to how I'm feeling. So, I've been blocking them. A couple show up as 'unknown'. Had one text message referring to me as James, and how I showed interest in their insurance. So, they even got my gender wrong...They stopped after I texted back STOP twice, like it said to. It's a pain. So, I decided to register my number on the Do Not Disturb list. I'll see what happens with that. I had 2 days of a break before this. Then they came back yesterday and today. It's always in the morning. I do have my 'do not disturb' mode on until about 9:30am, but I've been sleeping past that lately because of the pain and fatigue. Like, I end up staying up really late until I pass out, and then naturally get up late. My body knows I should be sleeping for a certain amount of time. Plus, feeling so nauseous probably turns it into sick mode. Where I'll need more sleep. Go me!
It's trying to keep me healthy as best it can. Got to give it some credit. But, with this, the pain, and calls it's getting to me. Recently started watching Classicaloid. It's extremely trippy. Unsure if I like it or not. Some of the characters represent famous composers. Like Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Bach, Liszt, etc. They haven't remembered who they really are, though. Their Beethoven must represent the time before he lost his hearing. Although, he doesn't really listen to people. He's obsessed with making the perfect gyoza. Some of his quirks remind me of what I've learned about him in the past. He's also voiced by the same voice actor who played Gintoki from Gintama. He's an amazing VA. I've watched other anime that he's in, but Gintoki is the most memorable. His voice is very versatile, yet distinct. It feels like I'm listening to Gintoki.
Also, helps that Beethoven, in this, has white hair too and is relatively the same height as that character. I think they did pretty well with Mozart's personality. Not sure about his appearance. He was a troublemaker and perverted, and they have that portrayal down. Liszt is apparently a woman now. They actually commented on this, and she's clueless about it, too. They have a shoebill that hangs out at the mansion they stay at. It's just there, but somehow fits.
The mansion has a musical design, which is fun. I don't really like the other characters who aren't these composers. Something feels 'off' about them. Also, the artist makes really thick outlines of the characters. That's visually weird. Makes them stand out more than they should. When the composers suddenly remember something, they start conducting one of their songs, but really trippy things happen during it. Lots of bright colors, people dancing, space, vines coming through the ground, amusement parks, etc. The pieces are pop-ified. I'm not too fond of that, either. Although, the opening theme music is pretty good. It melds the pop into it well. Watching it as a musician, I'm still on the fence about it.
They did pretty well with most of the music references, but there are quite a few downsides to it. I think it could be so much better. So, still debating whether I want to keep watching it or not. Finished Designer Baby. It was rather good. Raised some philosophical/societal questions. The baby was designed to cure her brother from a special type of leukemia. She was kidnapped by several people for different reasons. She was passed around for just over a week before finally being returned. A couple of times they thought one of the people had killed her. In the end, the parents decided to wait before they made the decision to have her donate her bone marrow to their son. The hospital said it would have been illegal anyways. Although, designing a baby like they did, already was. It was interesting that the lead detective on this case was pregnant. They thought she'd be perfect by being able to relate more to the women involved. Most of whom were pregnant themselves, recently gave birth, or infertility treatments never worked. It still put a lot of stress on her. At one point, during the last episode they made it seem like her water broke or something. False alarm, though. I've seen the actress in other dramas, but I think this was one of her best. I wonder how accurately she portrayed someone being pregnant. Or, if she actually was.
Started watching the Great Horror Family. There was an article that listed Halloween-themed dramas with short episodes, that was shared recently on MyDramaList's facebook page. This was one of the ones that I hadn't seen and sounded interesting. It's an old one from 2004. (I think.) I haven't seen many that were that old. It's actually really funny.
Campy-type horror, and the humor is spot on. Perfect timing, and humorous events. Not scary, but definitely Halloween-like. A family moves into an old house. The grandfather dies the first day they moved in. The father is into the occult and desperately wants to be able to see ghosts. He's really eccentric. The rest of the family has the ability to see them. The son is the strongest in that, though. Much to his dismay. The mom is kind of dense when it comes to sensing things. The daughter doesn't care. The grandma doesn't talk much. (I don't think she has yet.) So, the son is stuck with talking to his deceased grandfather and all the resident ghosts who have 'issues'. The first ghost he helps becomes somewhat of an assistant, and keeps ushering other ghosts to see him. At least, this happened during the first episode. Should be interesting to see what happens.
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