3rd of Adar

Yesterday, I enrolled all 4 of my books on Smashwords into their Read an Ebook Week site-wide promo. First time entering them into something like that. It goes from March 1st until the 7th. They encourage enrolling beforehand, so those books get a chance to be featured in a promo email to Smashwords customers, which goes out a few days before. A little more exposure that way. I decided to have them all at 50% off. You can choose 25% off, 50% off, 75% off, or free. I think 50% is plenty. That makes 3 of the books $2, and one of them $2.50. Pretty cheap. They have interesting banners and such that people can download to help promote it on other sites. I may add one on here. I don't know. There seems to be more benefits to this one than many of their regular promo 'tools', so it's good to have the opportunity. I think they have something like 3 or 4 site-wide promos a year. Not much. 

The cookbook's Select term on Amazon ended yesterday. I plan to submit it to Smashwords on the 1st. It probably won't be apart of RAEW, but that's ok. I think I'll also have a delay in publishing for this one, and add the option of preordering it up until it's officially published on there. I think it's good to do it this way for each one. People get a taste for it beforehand. Should be interesting to see how this one goes, considering it's quite a bit different than my other books.  

I watched some of the recent Democratic Debate, and have an issue with how a couple of questions were directed at Bernie Sanders. I'm not really voting for him this time, but that's a different topic. He was asked about his Judaism, which I guess is fine in itself. I do feel a little uneasy about people questioning how Jewish he is lately... However, the very next question after that was on how he feels about Israel. This is antisemitic. It brings up the 'dual loyalty' trope. Do not bring up someone's Judaism, and then immediately ask about their opinion on Israel. Sure, I get they were trying to see what his policy on Israel will be, but that was not the way to do it. What about asking other candidates about it, too? 

Jewish opinions, as a whole, on Israel are extremely diverse and...complicated. (Even without bringing up the conflict there.) For one, many Israelis don't view Diaspora Jews (those that don't live in Israel) in a good light. Some try very hard to convince us to make aliyah (basically immigration to Israel). Sometimes taking advantage of things like growing antisemitism in Europe and America. Another point, they think even worse of Reform or Progressive (what that branch is called in Europe) Jews, even within their own country. Many also feel the 'ideal' Jew is of European descent. Jews come from all over the world. They particularly have a hard time with Ethiopian Jews. That is getting better lately, but it's still an issue. Many Jews also take issue with the government, even within the country. It's problematic to say the least. However, there are a lot of good people living there, too. 

I'd personally like more focus on Diaspora Jewry than Israel. (Particularly on American Jews, since that's even more relevant to me.) It's not my country. I'm an American Jew. Proud to be American, like many other American Jews. I'm embarrassed, ashamed, and appalled by the current administration, but that's different. 

I did not feel like I 'came home', like so many say, when I visited Israel. Granted I had an awful time getting there, but it never truly felt like home to me. I did make some good facebook friends from that trip, and I certainly don't regret going. There were some good times. It was an amazing opportunity. Especially to see it for myself. Separate fact from fiction in some ways, too. It was nice that most things were kosher, and I didn't have to worry about it as much as back home. It was also cool to see so many shuls (aka synagogues) next to each other. 

We took Tasha to her checkup on Tuesday. She seemed pretty healthy for her age. That being around 15 or 16. Her teeth had a little tartar, and she had a mild case of gingivitis. They said the dental treats are helping with the gingivitis and overall dental health, but only a dentist can get rid of the tartar. They suggested she be seen by a dentist. That seemed like it'll be too expensive. Apparently, her heart murmur's a little worse. It's always been a slightly there thing. They suggested she see a cardiologist, and have imaging done to check out her heart. Again, pretty pricey. She lost a lot of weight for a cat her size. Went from 10 pounds to 8 pounds. Turkish Vans are normally on the heavy side. She seems to be a pound under the low end for normal range. She got her annual shots, blood tests, and a urinalysis. 

The vet clinic called my parent yesterday. Tasha has hyperthyroidism or an overactive thyroid. It makes sense with the weight loss, shedding more than normal, tremors (thought this was either from being cold, or fear of Rosie), excessive drinking, etc. She might not even have the arthritis, but muscle weakness/wasting from it. That would also make it difficult to jump up on things. Their heart can be affected, too. There is a med she can take, surgery, or radioactive iodine therapy. As well as a special low iodine cat food. So, it is treatable, at least. The med and food might not be too bad financially, either. I want to hug her more often now. She probably was trying to tell us that something was up for a while. Hope she feels better in the future. 

I've been trying to take it easier on myself this week, because of the nasty migraine and headaches I had last week. Didn't really have headaches this week. Maybe a slight one after drinking something too cold today, but really didn't have them the rest of the time. Yay! Hopefully, I can get back to other things next week. I don't want to trigger another migraine or awful headaches, so I'll still try to take it slow. Trying to go to bed earlier and spend a little less time looking at screens, and that might have helped. I might not play PS4 games for a while. Just to protect myself for now. New games can have unknown effects, many games are dark in color, and it's also somewhat dark in that room. So, ends up being weird lighting. I do want to get back to it at some point. Might want to try Red Dead Redemption 2. I do have 2 games I can play on my PC for now. 

National Cherry Pie Day!

This holiday was yesterday. I love cherries, so putting them in a pie makes them even better! Haven't had it in a while, though. Finding a good cherry pie locally can be difficult. They tend to have what I call sugar or 'gel' packets. Basically large globs of sugar. Not the best. Sometimes those are good, but really shouldn't be there. They mess up pecan pie often, too. Either too few nuts, too dry, too much filling, etc. I sadly can't have that anymore, even if it's one of my faves, too. 

This week hasn't been great health-wise. Monday, I had one of the biggest migraines I've had in a very long time. The 'aura' for mine are often auditory. Usually thudding sounds. When it happens, it also feels like blood is spurting from my head. There's a lot of pressure, too. That part usually lasts a while, and gets really annoying. Not really painful. As soon as it finally stops, the massive painful headache starts. At this point, I'm also sensitive to light, certain sounds, cold (more so than usual), and certain foods. Usually this phase doesn't last long. Maybe a few hours. This time was different. The headache finally died down on Wednesday. However, the after effect was stronger than usual, too. I get sick to my stomach, feel like I'm in a fog, still sensitive to a few things, and fatigue sets in like I had been through a marathon. This phase usually lasts for an even shorter time than the headache. I was still in it when we went to the local trans support group that night. Another headache, that felt similar to the migraine one (but there was no aura beforehand), started after having the banana cream pie for dessert at Shari's after group. The bananas in it were still frozen. Might have triggered it? It was bizarre. 

It felt like I was finally starting to recover around noon yesterday. A few hours later, I decided to try a new game on the PlayStation 4 called The Vanishing of Ethan Carter. A detective/horror game. Sounded fun. However, the clues had text that would light up near them. If you clicked 'inspect', what he thinks/observes comes out as text quickly and swirls around. Occasionally repeating over and over. Sometimes, it wants you to find a certain clue by clicking '???', and then those question marks swirl around wildly. They combine when you've found something. There's some jerking around of the camera, too. It eventually made me so nauseated, I came very close to throwing up several times after I stopped playing. Stomach was really upset for a while, and felt like the acid was burning through it. So, I laid down, trying to calm it down. Felt like I couldn't look at a screen (like the computer or iPhone), couldn't color in my 'adult' coloring book (it's a book based on designs of a tattoo artist, which is usually fun), or really much else; for fear that I'd throw up or start another headache. So, I just closed my eyes and sat there. Eventually, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. Felt better afterwards. Today's been pretty good so far, but I'm trying not to trigger anything. Trying to be kinder to myself, too. 

I'm thinking of looking into chest binders again. I don't think the one I have worked too well. I also stopped wearing it when my health issues got worse, and it was hurting more. Things don't seem as bad as they were when I was on Lialda (that's not to say things are fine. I still have awful health stuff), now. So, I thought it'd be an ok time to look into it again. Plus, they're bothering me more than usual lately. I'll go with a different brand this time. I have an Underworks one. I've heard gc2b and Shapeshifters are good, so I'll look at those, along with any other brands I find. I want something long, so it stays put and doesn't roll up or anything. Similar to my current one. I don't want the weird string feeling rubbing up and down my back, and the weird puckering it does around the neck area. Maybe something that gets me even flatter? I don't know. 

Sunday was the start of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. I've been posting something aro related for every morning post on my author account on Instagram. A couple of people have stopped following me during it, but I've decided not to care about that. This is a part of me, and if people don't like it or don't want to be informed, so be it. All the better, actually. I've gotten a lot of likes from fellow aros on a lot of those posts, which has been nice to see. Some have added a couple of those posts to their stories on there, tagging me as well. My evening posts are still following the pattern I'm trying to set. For normal weeks, I've 'assigned' certain topics for the days of the week. Some having 2 topics for the day. That makes it more interesting, I think. 

I also recently found out that there's an aro ace flag. It was created at the end of 2018, so it's rather new. 2 shades of blue for being aro ace and the aro ace spectrum, and our experiences. Blue was chosen because it is between the aromantic green (in that flag) and asexual purple (in that flag). White for wholeness, as well as aro aces who are aplantonic (don't experience platonic attraction), nonamorous, or not seeking a partnership of some sort. Yellow is for love and relationships that exist outside of conventional romantic and sexual relationships. Orange is for community. It's in between green and purple in the other direction on the color wheel. Much more colorful than the current aro and ace flags, which is nice. I think it looks snazzy. 

There's also an oriented aro ace flag. I saw this a while before this 'new' aro ace flag. An oriented aro ace is someone who experiences other attractions strongly. Many go by this for queerplatonic relationships. Before I heard about this, I read that people were just saying what their 'queerplatonic' attraction was. This seems to encompass more, though. There are many other types of attractions. I'm an oriented aro ace. Specifically, a pan aro ace. My strongest is platonic, although I might rephrase that as queerplatonic, since it feels like something even more (hard to describe). I have potential to be attracted to people of all genders this way. I would love to be in a queerplatonic relationship or qpr in the future. The problem is trying to figure out how to get a partner for one. It's not like dating, and that makes me cringe. I'm slightly romance-repulsed, although not as strongly as my sex-repulsion. Probably more romance-averse...I have read about some people that are trying to create a site that's based on finding queerplatonic partners, and for aro aces specifically. I don't think there truly is anything like that out yet. It's hard, especially because not many know about this sort of relationship, and it might seem...weird at first to others. It's also hard to know who actually wants to be in one. Then, there's if you're compatible, like with most relationships. I've heard that going to aro and ace group meetings has helped many people find partners for it. The closest one to me is in Seattle, and they recently changed the name from Seattle Aces to Seattle Aces & Aros. Through their facebook group, they seem to be sincerely trying to include aros, too. They're not just changing the name. It's not really local for me, though. They only have one meeting a month, but do have events throughout the rest of the month. Some of them sound fun.

Anyways, that flag is also pretty new. Created a few months before the aro ace one. Dark blue is for the shared aro ace experience, grey for the aro ace spectrum, white for orientations within the community (bi aro ace, gay aro ace, pan aro ace, etc.), and teal for non-romantic and non-sexual attractions. It's nice looking, too. Still more colorful than the current aro and ace flags. 

Got the author copies of my paperback books last week. So nice to actually see them in print! They're like my babies. They had some scuff marks, which I wasn't happy about. The matte finish on the 4 that had it felt weird, but that might just be because they're new. The glossy finish for Sweet Endless Terror was nice, and really fit well with it. The only other issue I see with them is the font size. I went with what was suggested, but it's bigger than I expected. Might be good for the cookbook, but the others...I'm not so sure. The font's not incredibly large, but maybe it's just a slight size too big than what I'm used to. I think the memoir is the only one that ended up slightly smaller in font compared to the others. Maybe it's the size of the books. If I change the print's font to something smaller, I'll have to change the formatting, change the cover size, etc. It's not a simple change. I'll just stick with it for now. Seeing them all stacked up really shows how much writing I've put out there, too. It's impressive to me to see it all like that, even if they're not really huge books. Alliance is the thickest, like I expected. Alliance: Dawn comes close. Also, understandable. 

Youtube:

One Piece:


Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun (Toilet-bound Hanako-kun):

Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer):



Boku no (My) Hero Academia:

Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom):

17th of Shevat

I started Duolingo's Polish course on Monday. I decided on Polish, because it may have been another language my ancestors spoke. I didn't really know some of my mom's side came from there until I did the 23andMe DNA test a year or so ago. I say might have spoken, because they were Ashkenazi. They may have only spoke Yiddish in those areas, and/or were closed off. Or, they might have assimilated and spoke Polish. I've heard some felt that Yiddish was beneath them (like they felt only the poor speak it, and they wanted to seem of higher class), and tried to blend in as much as possible. On the other hand, Yiddish was influenced by Polish. (Yiddish is really a mix of Hebrew, German, and eastern European languages.) It's complicated. It was at least spoken around them. I thought I'd choose one that related to my mom's side, since Scottish Gaelic related to my parent's side. Seems like a good way to do it. Next one might be Welsh...Anyways, I was nervous about it. So far, it's been really interesting and fun. I'm getting it more than I expected. I read, and have noticed, that a lot of languages have influenced Polish. There are some Russian elements, a lot of German, some Italian, and some French already that I can see. Makes it more fascinating. Despite not caring about getting into the next league, I've stayed in the top 10 for the week so far. They don't seem as competitive this time. It'll be interesting to make it to the next league, if I stay in the top 10 by Sunday. 

Went back to reading the manga, Shichifuku (7 Lucky Gods) Mafia. I couldn't find any updates on it for a few years. I really liked it. All of it's now available online. It's a shorter series than I thought it was, with only 12 chapters. I only had a few more chapters left when I put it on-hold. Basically, it's about a young yakuza boss, Leo, that has the 7 Gods of Fortune as his subordinates. Each is a lucky G-d of something, like music, warriors, fishing, agriculture, etc. Whenever they used their powers to protect the previous boss, Leo's mother (nicknamed Tiger Goddess), they sucked her life force out. Eventually, she died from it, and he had to take over. He wasn't even living in Japan when he was told to go back. He had to win them over. There's another yakuza family full of demons that's about to battle them. Should be interesting to see how it unfolds. 

My author Instagram account has been interesting so far. I've decided to post twice a day this week. Once in the morning, and once at night. Each day will have a theme. Today's is horror for the 1st post, and on chronic illness for the 2nd. Found something from Horror Society on Pinterest to share this morning, and I'll probably find something from my IBD board on Pinterest to post later. (Although, there are some interesting things on fb, as well.) My most liked pic's of a piece of artwork that has Proud to be Agender written on the side, with a drawing of someone holding a huge agender flag. I thought it was a powerful looking. I mentioned what the stripes on the flag represented. The only sad part is I don't know who created that art, so I mentioned that and where I found it. It has 15 likes so far. I was especially surprised by this, because no one liked the post on gender-neutral terms before that. Maybe it wasn't as eye-catching? People have been liking the posts on Judaism, too. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week starts on Sunday, so the 1st posts that week will relate to being aro. 2nd posts could be for the other regular 'themes'. Also, the paperback versions of my books should arrive tomorrow. I'll post about that on there, and other places, when I get them. 

In searching for quotes/settings for Alliance, I've made it to chapter 16. Pretty quick. Probably will be done in a couple of days with this. Then, I'll go through Alliance: Dawn. Eventually, I'll post the quotes every so often on the Instagram account, and make trailers with them, too. I might draw some of the settings or buildings, and put those in the trailers. I might do things a little differently for the other book trailers. 

12th of Shevat

This is my wallpaper for February. It's Allen, the main character, from D.Gray-man. Kind of fits my mood for Valentine's Day. A lot of the month is set up around it, especially at places like grocery stores or in commercials. It promotes amatonormativity, which can hurt everyone, not just aromantic people. It's the assumption that everyone's striving for a romantic partner, it's central (most important relationship), exclusive, monogamous, and part of what makes us human. It ignores little known relationship types, like queerplatonic ones. I would really like to be in one in the future. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week starts a week after the holiday, so that's something to look forward to. It's perfect timing. 

Tu B'Shevat is coming up Sunday night. That's our new year for the trees. One of my fave holidays. You get to eat a lot of fruit and nuts (not so much for me, since it's a trigger food), appreciate trees, and more. 

The month-long holidays for February are: National Canned Food Month, National Cherry Month, National Potato Lovers Month, Barley Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. Cherries and potatoes are a couple of my fave foods! 

I created an author Instagram account: R C MacDonald I've been basically testing the waters this week. Wasn't sure exactly how I wanted it. It's a mix of topics from my books (fantasy, horror, LGBTQ+, Judaism, cooking, etc.), a little on my personal life, and my book stuff. I might just change the 2nd sentence of my bio to: A writer's world. Not as clunky...My book stuff will be things like a stack of my books, quotes from them, book trailers, author business card, etc. 

The things I didn't create will be from Pinterest and facebook mainly. Of course, I'm crediting them. I'm finding a lot of interesting things on Pinterest for the 'fantasy' part. Beautiful art relating to 'demons' in Alliance. Of dragons, phoenixes, griffins, wraiths, cat demons, etc. Nice eye candy, but when I post them, I'll also give info on characters from the story. For instance, info on Gun with the dragon pics. Or, on Zero with the phoenix ones. That way people get to know the series more. I have plenty of stuff for my colitis, LGBTQ+ stuff, food, some for horror, lots of animals, music/clarinet, and some quotes from other people on boards on Pinterest. Quite a lot of material. 

I've decided it might be easiest to set a theme every day. This is what I think might be best: Monday for fantasy or writing in general. Tuesday for LGBTQ+ things. Wednesday for horror or chronic illness. (They seem to go together pretty well, oddly...) Thursday for cooking. Friday for Judaism. Saturday for animals or more Judaism. Sunday for music. This will change during holidays or awareness weeks. During those, I could post about them. Like, with Tu B'Shevat, I'll post on that during it. Aro stuff during the week of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness week. It might switch up when I have something to share of my books or personal life, too. People will expect certain content most of the time, which should be a draw for some. 

I was posting once a day this week, but I think I'll try posting twice a day next week. Probably one in the morning/early afternoon and one at night. Except, I'll only post once on Saturdays, after Shabbos ends. The 2nd post on Friday will be a little earlier than the rest of the week, too. I think I can have quite a lot of fun with this, and not have to do a lot for it. It'll be a view not only into my books, but my personality and identity. 

I'm posting the same stuff to my author fb page. That might have added things occasionally. Today, I liked many pages as my page. (Fave pages that I already liked on my personal one.) Wanted to see what that would be like. It might be a way for people to get more info on things, as well. Things like Judaism, LGBTQ+ people, IBD, etc. My page could become a resource with that. I couldn't like pages as a page on my phone, which was weird. 

I've been searching for quotes from Alliance, as well as settings/building descriptions. Found quite a lot for the descriptions, and more than I thought I would for quotes. Plan to fill out author interview questions on Smashwords at some point. Really want to start a vlog, too. That would help with more exposure. 

Ordered author copies of all 5 paperback versions of my books from Amazon. I thought it would be much more expensive. With shipping and handling, taxes, and printing/manufacturing costs together it's $26. For 5 books, that's nothing. Just with the printing part, they ranged around $3 to $4 each. I thought that part would be more. Very interesting. I should get it Tuesday at the earliest. They make them as soon as you buy them, so it takes a little time to put them together. I'm ok with that. I'm excited about actually being able to touch and hold them. They're like my babies. I do have a print out of the very 1st rough draft of Alliance. I don't think it was all of it. Having that is very different than an edited (without marks all over it) and finished actual book. 

My memoir, More Than Meets the Eye, is now on Smashwords. It won't be released until the 28th, but it is on preorder. It was approved for their Premium Catalog unusually quickly. I got the 1st approval in about the first few minutes. That's the auto vetter part, where they automatically check the formatting. The 2nd approval is manual and takes a few days for authors who've previously submitted works, and about 2 weeks for new ones. I submitted it yesterday afternoon, and was fully approved early this morning. Probably the fastest approval for one of my books. The only thing I didn't like was they only had a Gay & Lesbian category, not an LGBTQ+ one. Not even a trans one, if they were just split up. Since I'm neither gay nor lesbian, it feels really weird to put it under that. It ignores other people in the community, too. Yet, I did see some authors using it for books relating to other parts of the community. I at least tagged it as LGBTQ. Also, tagged it as agender, asexual, and aromantic. There were very few books under the agender tag, and they were fictional. Similar with aromantic. That might make it easier for people to find. I already have the most page views for its 1st day compared to my other books. There have been 4 sample downloads, too. 

Got tired of playing Oblivion. It really got boring. I don't use that word lightly. The scenery was great, though. So, I've been trying various games on PS4 Now to find something to stick to. The most interesting one so far has been G-d of War 3: Remastered. It's based on a lot of Greek mythology, which is fun to me. Your character is Kratos, and he is seeking revenge against Zeus. The cinematography is really great. Feel like it's a movie even when it's not a cut scene. There are a lot of puzzles in it, which surprised me (especially with the type of game it is), but that adds another interesting layer. First game I played where you get trophies. That's fun. Got one for killing Poseidon. That was pretty epic. Made the seas rise. Also one for incinerating Apollo. I thought they wanted me to save him, but there wasn't a way to do so. He was imprisoned in part of Hades, near the River Styx. The bramble around him made it look like a prison cell. I managed to ride Cerberus and have him spit fire balls. I thought he would only set fire to the brambles, so I could free Apollo. No...The fire immediately engulfed him, and didn't hit the brambles much. It was pretty horrific to watch him. At least, I got his bow and arrows. I can set things on fire with that. I'm trying to defeat Hades at the moment. I don't think I've actually seen him yet. Just a statue, and his wife Persephone in a casket hanging in front of it. There are also notes written by people that were sent there, people praying to seemingly nothing, and a giant in the forge area. Apparently that giant is a friend of Kratos, but is stuck there. I don't remember his name. Interesting details. At some point, I might play Red Dead Redemption 2. It's the prequel to that franchise. My parent really likes that game, and it sounds detailed and fun.

I've decided to stop the Duolingo Scottish Gaelic course. I'm really tired of it, and there's not much content. Half of the units have been leveled out completely, the other half all have the 1st level cleared. Not bad. I'm thinking of starting either Polish or Welsh on Monday. 

I've been having some bad pain days lately. The type of pain I know that's associated with colitis. It feels like part of my intestines blew up on my left side. It's somewhat hard there. Maybe it's from inflammation? My back and other areas of my abdomen feel really sore. Hopefully, it just needs to heal for now. Going to the bathroom a lot more often again, too. It's better than having a lot of that other stuff, on top of it, before I tapered off of Lialda. Still difficult, though.