I do want to be more out with being aro ace and agender. I mentioned them in my mini bio on fb. It was the first time I had anything for that. I still share and write about them on there.
I write about all 3 in my memoir. I actually am redoing the agender part, because I wasn't really sure at the time. Agender will have a separate chapter devoted to it. Aro and ace will be in one chapter. The first one to be precise. Agender is the 2nd now. I also refer back to them throughout the book, because they've influenced my experiences and how I view the world. So, people will be introduced to all 3 this way once it's published...I can probably add an LGBTQ+ tag to it on Amazon. Should be interesting.
In the future, it'd be nice to have a black ring. A black ring on the middle finger of the right hand indicates the wearer is ace. It'd be cool to get one with a spade on it. Another symbol for aces are the ace suit in playing cards. Ace of hearts is for (allo)romantic aces, spades is for aro aces, diamonds is for demiromantic aces/demisexuals (and other people in the grey areas), clubs is for wtf(or quoi)romantic aces/wtfsexuals and other people who can't figure out what their sexual and/or romantic orientation is (or it's indescrible). Sometimes romantic anarchists will use the ace of spades. That's kind of cool. A white ring was thought up for aros, but it hasn't really taken off. They don't have special symbols for what type you are like the ace suit, either. An arrow is a big symbol for it, though. An alien is an agender symbol, which is interesting, too.
I think it'll be cool to get themed clothing and accessories of these identities. That way I could be even more out. There's a surprising amount of it online. Another reason for me to be out is to educate people.
Asexual Awareness Week is coming up quickly. I might be a presenter/speaker at a local youth group meeting. I didn't think about this until Dad suggested it. We don't know if it'll actually happen, but it's an interesting idea. Another way to be out, and to do something for AAW. I'll not only go over ace stuff, but aro and agender as well. Aros are fighting to be separated from the ace community as much as possible, but they're represented during it, too. As an aro ace, I feel like 2 of my communities are ripping each other apart at times. Most aces are alloromantic, and most aros are allosexual. Often ace activists throw aro aces under the bus. We tend to be thought of as less human, or forgotten about, or misrepresented by them. Aros are a lot better about it, but the community is still new and growing. I'll bring up agender, because I am one and it influences my experiences. Mine would be different than an aro ace cis person. Or even an aro ace binary trans person. It'll show that my experience is not universal, which is good.
I realized recently that I go against a lot of 'normatives'. These are things that are considered the norm, strictly enforced, everything catered to a specific group of people, what's considered good and desirable by society, etc. My existence goes against heteronormativity, since I'm aro ace. Heteronormativity is centered on people who are both heteroromantic and heterosexual, or straight. Not to mention that sex is considered the best thing, necessity to keep living, everywhere in media, etc. Of course, it's 'straight sex' that's encouraged.
Amatonormativity's another one. It's the idea that romantic love is desirable, it's 'human', better than other loves/relationships, certain rules and assumptions about love, etc. This can be dangerous to alloromantic people too, but it's especially damaging to aros. It's a factor even when people of different (or some like to use 'opposite') genders are close friends. Society will assume that'll 'blossom' into romance and then become sexual. This is an odd view to me. Starting at an early age we're shown romantic themes all the time in media.
Cisnormativity is another one. The idea that being cis is normal, human, everyone has to be this way, etc. If you're not, you're not human or have some sort of mental illness. (According to society.) I'm not cis, so this affects me.
Binary-normativity is another. The world is set up and catered to people of the binary. Being strictly a man or woman is what everyone is. There's no such thing as more than 2 genders. Again, that's how society views things. This affects me as well since I'm agender. Even some binary trans people are against/hate the idea of non-binary people. That's hating on our very existence.
Christian(or Christo-?)-normativity. The assumption that everyone's Christian. Everything, in most parts of the world, is centered on Christians. Probably more than they realize. I'm Jewish, and I see this quite often. Don't even get me started with the few months before Christmas on up to the holiday itself...That makes non-Christians even more like outcasts or like they don't matter.
Not only that, but there's a belief Christianity and Judaism are the same thing. No. No, they're not. Clearly these people don't know the history nor what the religions are about. (Or cultures.) Someone a few months ago told me they're Christian, and asked me what the difference was. Well...the biggest thing is we don't have Jesus at all in our religion. That is central in Christianity, and if you believe in him you are one. They were astounded by it. Couldn't believe what I told them. I get that a lot when I tell people this. I like to educate others, but sometimes I'm tired of doing it.
Neuro(?)-normativity. People that are mentally healthy deserve better, are more understood, and are treated with respect more than mentally ill people. This makes many people feel even worse about themselves. Like I mentioned before, I have multiple mental illnesses.
Physically healthy-normativity. (Not sure what the prefix for this one would be.) People who have a chronic condition, like an autoimmune disease, are told if they only did certain things, it'd cure them. Offering 'healthy' food to them (might not actually be healthy for the person with the condition), saying they just need to try yoga, why are they always in pain, when will they get over it, have they tried this diet, and the list goes on. It's fueled by pure ignorance, and thinking such and such helped them with their stomachache. Or some other brief ailment. It's really disturbing and frustrating. IBD or Inflammatory Bowel Disease is considered an autoimmune disease. The unsolicited advice I get is crazy. It was especially so when I posted about the diagnosis on fb. No, there's no cure for it. No diet is going to change the disease itself. (It can sometimes help with side effects from both the disease and meds.)
Oh, and I love when people say at least it's not cancer...Yes, I'm happy it's not, but in a way it's belittling what IBD patients go through. We have to battle this thing for the rest of our lives. Even while in remission we might still have horrible symptoms. Some people lose most of their intestines through surgeries. Some people have to have their buttholes sewn shut, and some have to have external bags that act like colons and other parts of the intestines. The treatments can wreak havok. The extraintestinal stuff is crazy, too. (Eye problems, hair falling out, liver issues, fatigue, etc.) People die from 'complications' of the disease and meds. Some commit suicide because it's too much for them. But, at least we don't have cancer...Oh, wait, we're more at risk for cancers relating to the digestive tract. Wahoo!
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