Mood:
2 more days of Sukkot!
It's a harvest holiday. The word sukkot literally means booths. So, many translate the holiday as: the Festival of Booths. It refers to outdoor temporary walled (not entirely walled off) structures with a 'roof' made out of plant material. They're usually decorated with things like pine combs, fake fruit and vegetables, and other things that might remind people of a harvest or fall in general. We're encouraged to live in a sukkah (singular form) during the holiday. Basically to remember when we were wandering the desert. Most people will have their meals out in one. Some actually do camp out in it. There are some really elaborate ones. Many also invite guests to sit out with them. They're called ushpizin. So, it's kind of a hospitality thing, too.
When we would put one up in the backyard, we'd invite people over to enjoy it. Most of the guests weren't Jewish, and it was a way for them to get a taste of what Judaism is like. We also shake and say blessings over a lulav and etrog while we're in it. Together, the lulav and etrog are considered the '4 species'. Lulav is a palm branch, 2 willow branches, and 3 myrtle branches tied together. The etrog is a type of citrus. Similar to a lemon. Some people make jam out of it after the holiday. I've never had that, and it sounds interesting.
I kind of miss having ours up, and enjoying it out there. Although, it's pretty cold outside right now.
Yesterday was Caramel Apple Day. I have a hard time eating these, but they're really good.
Interesting when people dip them in a bunch of other things, too. Like cookies, candy pieces, candied peanuts, chocolate pieces, etc. Seems a little too much. It's sweet enough as is.
I thought it would be fun to use a Halloween themed wallpaper a couple of weeks before the holiday. Seems like this one fits. It's Ciel being controlled by Drossel Keinz from Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler. I think Drossel was only in the anime version, and it was a brief arc. Drossel was a puppeteer that turned into a puppet after death. He loves to make puppets and dolls. I barely remember that arc, but he would control people with his strings. Basically, making them his living puppets. They'd go into a trance, and do whatever he wanted. I think he made Lizzie fight Ciel and Sebastian. She snapped out of the trance, but still couldn't move her body on her own. Dolls can be really creepy, and the idea that you don't have control over your own body is scary.
So, it's perfect for the holiday!
I did 'attend' Central Synagogue's Yom Kippur services online. Pretty much all of them. The first night one, morning, afternoon, Torah study, and the ending night one. Felt like I had spent time with them without actually meeting them. The one who lead the Torah study was the president (who's also a rabbi) of the Reform movement. It's the largest Jewish movement/branch in America. Smallest in Israel. (The Orthodox have a stranglehold on everything there, but secular Jews are actually the largest population.) I think it's called the Progressive movement in Europe. I was raised in it, and still am Reform. Although, I've been debating Modern Orthodoxy. As you can tell with what the Europeans call it, it's a very liberal branch. Very inclusive, and continuing to become more so. He apparently was very close to the head rabbi there. A local synagogue that I was apart of had a previous president actually lead one of the High Holy Day services. I think he retired recently, and this one stepped in.
He talked about inclusion of other Jews in our community. How do we unite together? Instead of having one group of Jews pitting against others. (Even some Reform Jews look down on secular ones. It's more complicated than some people think.) Embrace our differences, and try to compromise on things. This can be very difficult between the Orthodox branches and others like ours. I agree, though. People need to stop the infighting. Although, it's much worse in Israel.
The actual services were pretty good. There was a cantor visiting from Israel. She had a certain accent when she sang and spoke in Hebrew. Reminded me of how some of the people I met in Israel spoke. Thought it was pretty cool.
The pain seems to have gotten worse.
When I lie down on my back in bed, it feels like my intestines are falling/oozing out of my abdomen. There's a lot of squeezing and spasming in there, too. The squeezing is relatively new. It started off as a gentle, barely noticeable, squeeze. It's almost unbearable now. Like, someone's pulling, pushing, clamping down, moving it sideways, etc. on my intestines.
It gurgles a lot while lying down, too. This makes it very difficult to sleep. (As if I wasn't already having problems sleeping...
) Even if I lie on my usually ok side, my left, I get this weird feeling. It feels like it's open to the air most of the time. Like, no skin, muscle, fat, etc. around it. Occasionally, it feels like I'm stabbed with a hot poker while it's spasming. Also, found a lump that seems a bit dense where it tends to hurt the most. It's starting to scare me, too. It might just be inflammation from either my intestines or something near it. Feels like almost everything in my body is being affected. This might be because I've been experiencing nonstop pain for a while. The majority of it really started in June. Supposedly when I was supposed to be in remission. If I were, then why?
And, why am I having certain issues with the bathroom still?
I'm having a harder time eating, as well. I have to actually tell myself to do it. I don't really feel hunger anymore, and feel full most of the time. Even if the only meals I've had are lunch and dinner. I tell myself I have to at least have those, since I have to have food with my meds. That's a sad thing for me.
Things at least taste good still.
Tylenol does absolutely nothing for it. The old bentyl pills only make me sleepy every other time I take it. Not sleepy enough to put me to sleep. I was taking them just for that. I ran out of the miralax last week, and tried to take some milk of magnesia. The milk of magnesia made me feel very sick those last couple of times. My stomach felt extremely full after taking it. Yet, I hadn't eaten for at least a couple of hours before both times. The miralax did eventually help with the constipation, but for about that last week on it, I had horrible diarrhea. It got even worse with the milk of magnesia. I still have it bad at times with that. Why can't it be in between? I feel like a yo-yo.
I think I might have a partial obstruction, stricture, or some sort of adhesion working on making that partial obstruction. It's got to be something. They say with all of these that laxatives might actually make it worse. Yay!
I'm still taking the probiotics. Not sure if they're doing anything, but might as well keep it up.
I made an appointment Thursday for an MRE or Magnetic Resonance Enterography. It's a type of MRI that looks specifically at the small intestines. Something that definitely could shed some light on things. The closest appointment time they had was for the beginning of December. Kind of a while to wait.
I can't eat within 4 hours of it. I have to be there 1 1/2 hours before the 'procedure'. Probably will take the contrast at this time. It lasts for 2 hours. I'm going to be super hungry at the end of this. (If I feel 'normal'.) They have to have a specialized nurse for the whole thing. I didn't think it would be such a big to do.
I thought I'd take the contrast, the testing would take maybe a few minutes, and I'd leave. They even asked if I needed sedation. Another big test to go through. At least it's not something like a colonoscopy/endoscopy or sigmoidoscopy. Those are much bigger and scarier to me. I have to get a blood draw within 30 days of it, too.
I read that they can watch how everything functions in that area. Things like my blood vessels, intestines moving, blood flow, etc. That actually sounds really cool.
Makes sense that it'd be that long, in that way. I want a copy of the results of this test. Fun to watch my innards work, and see what's so messed up about them.
I also rescheduled my gastro appointment for a couple of weeks into November. I think my gastro wanted to have the MRE done beforehand. Oh well. I've done everything else. I got the radiologist's interpretation of the x-rays back. Not the actual images. Apparently, they didn't see anything abnormal. I think my gastro wasn't expecting much from that in the first place. The MRE is a different story.
I also recently talked about different attractions, on facebook. I might talk about it a little differently here. It's important to me, because I get to learn more about myself, and figure out what type of partner I might want in the future. There are 5 main ones, from what I've read. Sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual, and platonic. Most people have these aligned a certain way. Like their sexual, romantic, and sensual ones will all be the same. Many seem to have a hard time differentiating between those. They're just so well linked together for them.
Many aces aren't aligned so well. Some are romantically attracted to people, and some aren't. For my romantic attraction I'm leaning a lot more towards aromantic or aro, the more I think about it. Meaning I'm not romantically attracted to anyone. Sometimes I go back and forth in my head between this, greyromantic, and demiromantic. Greyromantics only very rarely, and sometimes when they do barely, feel romantic attraction. Demiromantics feel romantic attraction after establishing an extremely close bond with someone. It rarely happens, too. I'm reluctant to identify as aro. I think it's because of my own prejudice about it, but learning about it is changing my view.
At least, I know I'm not a 'full' romantic.
Sensual attraction just is 'tactile' based. Not necessarily having to do with sex or romance. Things like holding hands, kisses on cheeks, hugs, cuddling, etc. are under this category. I'm not sure about this one, because I don't usually like to be touched.
Aesthetic attraction is just based on looks. Nothing necessarily sexual or romantic about it. You just like the way someone looks. For me, I think I'm more attracted to men this way. I think some of them look stunning.
Some use the gorgeous painting analogy, but I think that makes it sound like people are objects. Not something I'd agree with.
I think I might be attracted to men in a way I haven't found the term for. Someday, I might find out.
Platonic attraction is just on who you'd tend to want to be close friends with. Some aros have come up with the term aplatonic. Meaning they aren't attracted to anyone platonically. I have a hard time understanding that idea.
Some people will only be best friends with the same gender, opposite gender, both, and a lot of people don't know (or are in denial) about non-binary or genderfluid people. I think society wants us to be close with people of the same gender, which I find very odd. I really love everyone, platonically, regardless of gender. So, I might be pan this way? Some say that might be a thing. Especially if you're ace and/or aro. 'Pan-' means you're attracted (in some way) to people regardless of gender. I think most of my love/attraction went to my platonic one...
I really value my friends. With many people who are unsure if they're aro, they can't tell where the difference starts between being platonic and 'romantic'. I'm like that, and it confuses me. I can tell when it's full on romantic stuff, but where it might start is confusing.
I think I do want a partner to experience life with in the future. Just will be an unconventional relationship. We'll be extremely good friends. Something much more than just 'friends', but not romantic partners. I've read some aros are similar. They call relationships like these queerplatonic or quasiplatonic relationships, or qpr's. If I did have one, I'd rather use quasiplatonic. Since 'queer' can have some bad connotations. I also feel odd using that for myself. A qpr is easier, too. They call the partners zucchinis, instead of boyfriend or girlfriend. Interesting. I've also read that people don't have to be aro nor ace to have one.
Regular dating is weird to me. I don't know if it's because most people are expecting it to lead to sex, or I'm aro/greyromantic and find romantic stuff fake or uncomfortable most of the time. I love seeing friends and family in romantic relationships. It's cute and awesome.
Just don't like it so much when it involves me most of the time. (Or seeing it in media, really.) Although, I did eventually like the romantic attention my ex boyfriend gave me. It was just nice, though. Not like I 'needed' it. Took a while to get used to it.
I thought for a long time I was just the 'default' straight. I'm apparently not. When you haven't been exposed to these terms/identities, it makes it hard to know who you are (in this way), or where you might land. I just felt like I eventually would be like everyone else around me. Before the term asexuality became popular, many people who were, identified as bisexual or bi. 'Bi-' means you're attracted (in some way) to men and women. (Many say 2 genders now.) We were categorized as Group X in one of the most famous studies involving us, the Kinsey scale in 1948. It rated sexuality on a scale. The earliest reference of asexuality might have been in 1896. Very interesting to read about some of the history.
I'm thinking of starting my own local ace group. Yesterday, I left a comment on the Seattle ace's closed facebook group. I asked if there already was one in my county, and if not I'll start my own. I highly doubt there is. I'll start with making a closed facebook group for it. This will be the first group I've started on there. If there is enough interest, we could meet in real life. It'd be really cool if it ends up like that. I'll have it open to allies, and people on the ace spectrum. So, people who might not be ace, but in the 'grey' areas can feel welcomed, too. I've seen lists of some of them, and there are a ton of different types in that grey area. It's fascinating. (Not just greysexual and demisexual.) They also have their own flags. We're like a large community encompassing them, as well. Although, even with them, we aren't that big of a community...
I'm unsure what the cover pic and profile pic for the group will have. Maybe the ace flag for the cover, but I'm kind of at a loss for ideas of the profile one. Maybe look at some of the memes? We'll see. Also, the name...
I'm not used to this, but should be interesting. Maybe the person who gave me the idea about starting the fb group first will help out, if need be. I found out recently that he actually is on the ace spectrum, which is really cool. One person commented on what I posted on the Seattle aces group, and they said they live in the same county, and would love for a group to meet more locally. So, yay! One other ace from the area that's interested! Happiness!
One more than I expected...Another person liked my post on there. Maybe there really is a need. Now I'm getting excited and nervous about it.
I have been reading, editing, and creating an outline of Alliance this past week. (All at the same time.) There's a lot more to edit than I realized. I'm just over halfway through. I haven't read it all the way through like this since I published it about 3 years ago. It's getting an overhaul. The outline is so that I get all the 'details' of things before I make a sequel to it.
When I'm done with that, I'll republish it. I created back cover art for both Alliance and Sweet Endless Terror. I'm planning to publish print versions of both through CreateSpace, or basically Amazon. It's free to do. I just needed to do those back covers, edit both books (I doubt SET will have as many errors, but I might republish it afterwards too), reformat for a print version, and go through their process. The back cover for SET has a knife and ribbon. Representing 2 of the stories. The back cover for Alliance has a different angle of the same scene as what's in the teardrop. Both are pics I've taken. (I drew and colored the knife and ribbon one.) The back cover of that is more distorted, and there's a somewhat dark side and light/happy side to it. A big theme of it is things aren't as they seem. Looking through the teardrop in the brick wall on the front, it looks nicer and happier. Turn to the back, and it's distorted and not the same angle. Like, the grass is always greener until you go to the other side. I like how both back covers turned out. I might have the descriptions of them on the back covers, too. It might be weird to pick up a book, and not see a description. I did read that they distribute to some actual brick-and-mortar bookstores. Should be an interesting process.
Tomorrow's the start of Asexual Awareness Week. Maybe that's the perfect time to start that group, if I do it.
I might switch my profile pics to having the ace flag filter. My main one for places like fb is kind of dark, so I might even change that part. There are some online events/activities for each day (from what I've seen), which is interesting. Coming Out Day was on the 11th, and since I already came out I brought up the attraction thing. Reading some of the stuff from the new groups I'm apart of through fb, and ace related pages, reminded me of making my own group on there. Thus, all the more ace things I'm sharing. Also, with all of those places mentioning AAW, it's also a bit on my mind. I'm still new to the community, and feel energized to learn more about it.
Mood:
Rosh Hashanah, our New Year, started Saturday night. Rosh Hashanah literally means: Head of the Year. It's the year 5777 on the Jewish calendar. People tend to eat sweet things for a sweet year. Apples dipped in honey are one of the most recognizable sweets that we eat. My mom used to make a honey cake. It was amazing!It also had coffee grounds, citrus peel, chocolate chips, and a few other things. Couldn't taste the coffee, especially because it seemed like such a complex flavor. It probably just added to the depth. I wanted to make it this year, but I kind of forgot until Saturday morning.It probably would have been best to have it made the night before. Also, I'm still in quite a bit of pain, so something like that would've probably taken a lot out of me. I could probably still make it during the rest of the year.
I also love teiglach. It's another sweet eaten during the holiday. It's usually more of an east coast thing. Many people over here didn't know what it was when either my mom or I talked about it at either local synagogue. Mom used to make it, and I've made it a couple of times. It's surprisingly easy. It's little nuggets of dough cooked in a honey and citrus peel sauce with walnuts sprinkled on top. The citrus can be either orange or lemon. I think I liked the orange one the most. Turns into something similar to a candy. Very messy, but good. I remember one year Buster, our beagle, decided to tip a platter of it onto the floor.That took a long time to clean up, and was disappointing. He liked it, though. Maybe I'll make that sometime in the near future, as well.
Also, there's a round challah. It symbolizes the life cycle, and can be interpreted as a crown. Many people dip it in honey, too. Same symbolism with that as eating the sweets. Some people have fish or goat (I think) heads, to symbolize the 'head' of the year. Some families have stuffed foods, to symbolize a year full of good things. Interestingly, Dad made Armenian stuffed peppers/tomatoes the first night of it. Reminded me a lot of when Mom made them. People also might have pomegranates. The pomegranate is said to have 613 seeds, corresponding to the 613 mitzvot or commandments. (A mitzvah is more like a good deed, too.) There are many more symbolic foods. Since many can be customary/traditional to certain areas around the world (maybe even just within families), I think I hear about 'new' ones every year. Really fascinating. The holiday ended last night.
However, Rosh Hashanah is just the start of the High Holy Days. Including this holiday, it's 10 days long, and goes until the end of Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is also known as the Day of Atonement. It's the most important holiday on the Jewish calendar. (RH comes in second.) You're supposed to fast. No food, water, gum, etc. for 25 hours. Except if you are: elderly, pregnant, have a medical condition that requires meds, a little kid. If these people fast, it's considered a sin. I fall under this group. I can't go without my meds, and food also is important to keep me balanced with what I have. Almost every med I take says to take it with food, too...If I don't eat the way I should, it does affect my IBD. I usually feel guilty that I can't fast. It's a weird conflicting feeling when you know if you do fast, it's a sin. I like that there's this 'rule', though. It goes with the idea that life trumps everything else.We can still make the holiday meaningful, too.
Went to RH services online this time. It was with Central Synagogue in New York City. They live-stream every service they have. Even the ones for Shabbat. It's a huge synagogue, too. Beautiful inside. They acknowledged people who were watching the live-stream during the beginning services of RH. They even had a video of people from around the world, that watch, wishing people a shana tova. Shana tova lit: Good Year. It's a greeting for the holiday. There's also l'shana tova (for a good year), which is short for: l'shana tova tikatev v'taihatem. It means: May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year. Actually felt like I was there that way.People can even listen to it on their phones. There's a hotline to call into. It's great for people who are immunosuppressed (like me), stuck in a hospital, in a place where there isn't a synagogue anywhere near them, etc. They say they reach people from over 100 countries. They have captions in multiple languages for the live-stream, too.
The only thing I usually feel odd about is how many rabbis they have. They have, what looks to be 4, and one of those is like a retired rabbi that occasionally comes in to sing or give a very quick sermon. (His singing voice is amazing!) Or, even the 2 cantors that are up with them. It seems a bit crowded on the bima.They also have several people from the board and guests of the community, sitting next to them up there, too. I'm mainly used to one rabbi and one cantor up there...Also, not used to a choir with a bunch of other musicians, but it sounded nice. Normally, the cantor might play an instrument or two for Shabbat. Occasionally, there might be one or two other musicians that play during High Holy Day services. It's never like what Central had. The main rabbi is interesting, too. She's one of the first, I think, Asian-American rabbis. She has Korean ancestry. She's a convert. I think she said she converted early in life. People would tell her things like: she couldn't be a Jew if she was Asian, she didn't 'look' Jewish (whatever that means...I've had the same thing said to me), she's not Jewish because her mom isn't Jewish, etc. The thing is those people didn't know that there are Jews from all over the world, including Asia. She talked about this in the first night's sermon or drash, and said that it wasn't very Jewish of them to say. We're told to love and treat the stranger as yourself, as you were strangers in a strange land. So, to treat others like that, let alone a fellow Jew, goes against it.I like a lot of the general things she brings up, too. Has a great singing voice, as well. I'll 'attend' their services for Yom Kippur.
Yesterday was also National Taco Day. Tacos are great!I can't really have the normal corn tortilla (there's the flour kind, at least), or any other product of corn in it. It still is really good, even without that stuff. I can still have the meats (like beef, chicken, fish), cheese, light seasoning, some salsas (not too hot, because of my gut...), some vegetables, etc. Corn upsets my gut. I've found the 'harder' forms of it are the most difficult to digest. If I don't have it too often, I might be able to tolerate a tamale. That has a softer form of corn. I think I've read that things like corn are hard to digest normally, because of how hard the fibers are. They can scrape up an already affected and inflamed digestive system, too. (Like with IBD.) That in turn makes it more inflamed and painful. Many people have problems with corn. Yet, it's so good!
I miss popcorn, too. Especially kettle corn. The popcorn with salt and sugar. I can't have certain sausages that I love, either...For some reason, my system has such a hard time digesting those, that my belly fills up with air.
I end up feeling like I'm going to burst at some point like a balloon. It's different than with the corn. I should really pinpoint some of them more. I know for sure beef summer sausage has this effect. I think others do, too.
It was also Kanelbullens Dag or Cinnamon Bun Day. The cinnamon bun apparently originated in Sweden. It's a Swedish holiday that started in 1999. I love cinnamon buns!
They're fun to eat. The Swedish version is a bit different than the Americanized version. It has cardamom in the dough. They tend to not have the heavy icing, either. Instead, they sprinkle it with a little sugar, or a very light glaze. They also don't fry them like they do in America.
This is my wallpaper for October. It's Atsushi from Bungou (Literary) Stray Dogs. I try to pick more contemplative, or more serious, wallpapers with the month that the High Holy Days fall in. It's usually either September or October. We have a lunar calendar, so it seems to move around on the solar calendar. I might change it when Sukkot rolls around to one that's more Halloween-like. I love Halloween, too. Anyways, Bungou Stray Dogs was really good. Every character was based either on a famous author, their work, or a character from those works. (Sometimes all 3.) Very fascinating idea for a show. Most of them have some sort of power. One of them doesn't, but has remarkable deduction skills. Atsushi is based on a Japanese author of the same name who lived from 1909-1942. His ability to turn into a white tiger is based on his most famous work, Sangetsuki or the Moon of the Mountain. They call it Beast Beneath the Moon in the anime. The main character in that one is a scholar who goes crazy in his quest to become a great poet, and then transforms into a tiger. A 2nd season of it starts soon. I didn't think it'd be so soon, but that's awesome!
My beagle calendar has a beagle standing in a field of leaves. In a similar pose to what Buster used to do when something caught his attention. The blurb this time is about heroic tales of beagles. The fun fact mentions that beagles are sometimes used as therapy dogs, because of their gentle demeanor and funny personalities.
My Jewish calendar features a Torah shield, made by Koninklijke Begeer, out of silver, from Alkmaar, Netherlands; 1878. Still looks like it's in good condition compared to how old it is. It has the tablets with the main 10 commandments, trumpets and shofars coming out its sides, a plaque below the tablets with a lot of Hebrew that I can't read, a big crown at the top also with Hebrew I can't read (there are no vowels, and I can't make out those words without them), and a floral design of things hanging from it. It looks like there are clouds behind the tablets. Cool effect. It's one of the cooler looking ones. It also features a Torah finial (finials sit on top of the Torah scroll's rollers), made by Pieter van Hoven, out of silver and gilt, Amsterdam, Netherlands; 1717. This one's even older, and still in great condition. At least, from the pic. There are bells around it, vines, a crown on top, and a spire on top of that. The last one that's featured is a tzedaka box (box for charity), has an anonymous maker, made out of iron and copper, Netherlands; 1900. Oddly, it's not as old as the others, and it looks more beat up. Might be a good sign that it was well used. It says something in Dutch on a small plaque on the side. There's also a number plate in it that has the number '84'. Don't know what that means, but interesting. It's rather plain besides that.
The month-long holidays are: National Apple Month, National Caramel Month, National Chili Month, National Cookie Month, National Dessert Month, National Pasta Month, National Pretzel Month, National Seafood Month, American Cheese Month, Bat Appreciation Month, Corn Month, German-American Heritage Month, LGBT History Month, National Cookbook Month, Pizza Month, Sausage Month, Spinach Lovers Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun. A lot of them this month. I'm part German, so yay!
A part of my heritage is being celebrated. LGBT history is important, too. Asexual Awareness Week is towards the end of the month, so that'll be another good thing.
I probably would have finished this post yesterday, but something was slowing my computer down. Turns out Google decided to try to get me to fill out a survey about this blog. Firefox kept blocking it. So, again, Google has somehow figured out a way to slow things down...Since the survey popped up today, and I filled it out, things have been running much faster and smoother. Someone assumed it was a problem with the computer itself. Nope, it wasn't. I actually really like my computer. Things run so much better, most of the time, without Google products. I know Google owns Blogger, but it's just a site, not something like their browser or Google Earth. (That survey was rare.) I still also use their search engine, my gmail, youtube, etc. through my computer. I might even try using youtube more often on here, now that things are much better than they were. I usually look at youtube through my phone. So, we'll see. I also still use their browser on my phone, but that's a different thing.
Google also emailed me recently saying some of the links I listed came back with an error code, and may cause a bad visitor experience. Something like that. I like how they called me a webmaster.I suppose I am for this blog. It doesn't like that I listed links (not very many of them) that had just http, and no 's' at the end. I kind of figured I'd get something like that from them. I mentioned in my last post that to go to those links, you can click them, and it'll redirect you to a page saying it can't find it within my blog. Then, just take out my blog's url in the address, and hit return or whatever and it'll go to those sites. Or, people can just search for those sites by using the names of them. I don't like that their new thing is they won't go directly to those sites unless they have that 's'. There are quite a lot of sites that haven't switched to that yet. That policy just started at the end of last month. I read somewhere that that will change soon. Like, they're upgrading the system. I hope so.
I managed to get the 2 x-ray views done. It was pretty late, and no one was at the radiology check-in area. One of the receptionists at Urgent Care helped me out, and talked to someone who was in the radiology department. It was really quick. I hope something that's easily handled shows up. I want something to show up, because if it doesn't, it's even harder to pinpoint why I'm in so much pain. I asked if I could get the results, and they said the radiologist has to look at it first. My gastro might show me it to go over what's shown, and then I might be able to get a copy of the results. I still have to schedule the MRI. I'm kind of nervous about it, and the High Holy Days have been on my mind.
I'll call them tomorrow.
I also got the miralax, which I still hate, but am trying to take at least one dose a day. I think I remember her mentioning that it might be best to try for 2 doses, but I can only tolerate one right now.I also got a probiotic, like she recommended. This one is a gummy version. When I tried probiotics years ago, I got the huge chewable tablet ones. They fizzed in my mouth as soon as I started chewing. Kind of felt and tasted like candy. The gummy ones are interesting. They don't fizz, and pretty much taste and feel like the fiber gummies I used to take. I don't think I'll get tired of them, at least. Apparently, each dose has 500 million 'viable' cells. That's a lot. They apparently lie dormant in the gummy, and then once the stuff hits my intestines, they 'wake up'. Interesting. Hopefully my system doesn't kill them all off.
I tried to get the levsin, which is supposed to be an alternative for bentyl, if that doesn't do anything. Read that it's more potent, too. Turns out my insurance doesn't cover it, and only 9 days is like almost $30. I can't justify in my head getting something that expensive.
It may or may not work. Also, apparently there was a recent recall of it. So, I've decided to go back to the bentyl I still have, and occasionally have tylenol. I figured if bentyl makes me sleepy, and I'm still having issues with sleep, I might as well take it for that. It has helped with that a bit. The tylenol only takes the edge off when I have 'mild' pain. Doesn't do much at all when it's bad, which is quite often now.
Started a new cheese of the month yesterday. Barely had much of the gorgonzola last month. Turned out I didn't like it...At least I tried it. This time, it's a Welsh cheddar. It's made inside caves. The last cheddar I had, I think, was from Ireland. This one's pretty good. It's a bit stronger/sharper. I'm not used to the sharper stuff, but that's ok. It seems to go well with mustard.
Went to Costco to start our big monthly grocery shopping on Saturday. They had a big thing of madeleines, and a 5-pound box of Dutch butter cookies. Got both of them. Probably will take a while to get through both of them, but they're really good. Got a few other things we were totally out of. Also, got to taste their chocolate covered pumpkin seeds. It was surprisingly good. Went to Trader Joe's, which I haven't been to in a while. That's where I got the cheese. It was relatively cheap. Most of their international cheeses seem cheaper than many places. Also, got a broccoli and cheese quiche. Haven't had a quiche in a long time.
Looked around a local market for a round challah. They normally have 2 different challahs for Shabbat. I usually like their bigger one. Anyways, I looked for them in the usual place, and they weren't there. Dad found a display for one of the brand's versions. Really cool that they had it on display.
I didn't think they would, and that's probably why I didn't see the table of them at first. They've come a long way from when my mom tried to educate them...They had either plain or raisin, and I got the plain. It's nice and big. Comes from the same company that does the larger normal Shabbat ones.
I'm thinking of being a pirate for Halloween. Interestingly, going by my current measurements, I can fit into most brands' 'normal' sizes. Just to try them out, at least, would be interesting. When I was at my heaviest, I felt horrible that even the 'plus' sizes wouldn't fit, if they had it. So, this is like a new frontier for me.Also, the only time I really remember actually coming into contact with other aces, was at a Pride event years ago. (Not sure where.) I was scared of them, because a lot of them were dressed as pirates, and acted like them. This was before I knew I was ace. The pirate thing apparently came from a meme saying something like: Ace pirates: we don't need your booty. Then, people ran with it. (There are even jokes about how we'd be immune to sirens.) Reading about that kind of gave me the idea of being a pirate for Halloween. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to be before that, so why not? I was a pirate for Halloween when I was really little, so that will be interesting in that light, too.
I've been watching some of Pieces of Ace's vids on youtube. It's a group of aces who talk about ace-related things. They're from England. They started with just 3 guys, and I've noticed they have a girl added to it now. Which is good. 2 of the guys are engaged to each other (they're cute together), the other guy is aro/ace (aro is aromantic, which means he doesn't experience romantic attraction), and I'm not sure where the girl falls on the romantic spectrum but she's ace as well. I watched most of the first couple of episodes, and a couple of the most recent episodes. They've had some interesting topics lately. Things like fetish/kinks among the ace community, how family members feel about the person who's ace, and coming out stories. The fetish/kinks thing can be a bit weird for the community. We see it in a different way. Some consider it taboo, some are surprisingly really into it, some aren't really sure. For the family members one, they had the aro/ace one's brother show up, and talk about how he felt. Very interesting to hear his point of view. They also have people call, email, there's a chatroom, or text in during the show, since it's live-streamed. They have a site where they post surveys, and have recently created a forum on there. They used the anonymous survey to ask people about their fetish/kinks, and talked about it on air. The newest survey is about coming out. They'll read some of the responses next time, and that should be interesting, too. They usually end each broadcast with a cake tasting. They ask others, who are watching (or listening to the podcast version), to try a cake of their own and text/chat/etc. about it. It's been interesting to see what kind of cakes there are in England. For some of the ones they've tried, I've never heard of, but sound really good.
