Mood:
Yay for music!
I can't imagine a world without music. Even when I'm not playing my clarinet, it's still a big part of my life. I don't think I'd be here without it.
It can affect your mood, the way you think about something, bring back memories, etc. It's powerful. Yesterday was the first day of summer. I'm kind of glad the days will start to get shorter now. I think the amount of sunlight has affected my sleep a bit.
But, summer can be fun.
On Sunday, I went to the local Pride Picnic at a park. There were cabins and a lodge there, too. There were so many rainbow flags!
The main one was huge, and draped over the main building. Quite impressive. In front of it, they laid out some tables with food. Near that was a BBQ, where they were grilling up a bunch of burgers. Both the regular beef kind, and a vegetarian kind. The table had the finished burgers, buns, their fixings (including pickles), potato chips, watermelon, and cookies. I actually could eat most of it. Yay!
There was music coming from a lodge across a wide open field. People had brought chairs, and were sitting out there. Some were playing frisbee, volleyball, etc. We brought some really old camp chairs that are kind of flimsy and small, but still usable and relatively comfortable. We sat next to a family that Dad knew. It was great chatting with them, eating, and listening to some of the music. Although, occasionally they blared the music a little too much, than made it too quiet, than finally went to a normal level. It didn't happen that often at first, but maybe they were trying to figure out the perfect volume.
After a while, Dad and I hiked a trail that wound around a lake. There were so many dragonflies! All sorts of sizes and colors. They were beautiful.
I'm not used to seeing so many at once. Some of the really big ones followed me, and whenever I paused they would land near me. I think they were trying to figure me out. Maybe I smelled interesting to them...Eventually, the trail opened up to part of the beach near the lake. There were canoes and kayaks. They had told us before that we're more than welcome to use them. We didn't, but that's kind of cool. After going a little further on the trail, my right knee really started to act up. More than it has for the last month or so. Felt like my kneecap and other parts of it were actually separating from each other all at once.
I even tried stretching that knee, but it just got worse. So, I had to stop and go back early. Dad kept going. I was kind of disappointed that I couldn't go further. As I was almost back to where the trail started, a group of guys blocked the path, stopped, turned to me, and said: "It's really beautiful out here, isn't it?" I was in a lot of pain at that point, and just really wanted to get back to the parking lot (or at least back to more stable ground). I tried my best to do a fake smile and quickly said: "Yeah, it's really great." They eventually moved and I was able to go through, but it was rude in a way.
It would have been different if they didn't block the path to the point where there was no way around them.
I managed to get back to the car, and waited. I thought, at first, it'd be good to just rest a bit. That maybe my knee would calm down a little that way. Felt that if I sat down, it would hurt more, so I stood. Then, I thought that Dad would come back around to the start of the trail, and if I stayed near the car she'd see me. Not necessarily that we'd leave, just a familiar landmark, I guess. Turns out the trail probably ended in a loop somewhere else. So, she never met back up to that area. I did think about calling her, but the reception was horrible. Anyways, I eventually noticed she was talking to a couple of people I knew somewhat near me. I noticed my knee was slightly better, and joined up with them. A bit later, Dad went off to do the labyrinth while I chatted with those 2 people we knew and sat at one of the picnic tables. That was nice. Also, gave a bit more time for my knee to calm down.
All in all, I did have fun there.
The event was supposed to go from 12pm until 5pm. We were there at around 12 until around 4. That's a good chunk of time, but again, it was nice. I might go to a couple more Pride events. The local Pride organization is doing 20 events this year. (I think it's something about 20 events marking the 20 years its been around.) That's a lot.
There's also Seattle Pride. Should be interesting. I think I went to my first Pride a couple of years ago. And, I've only gone to about 3 or 4 events for it in total now.
Also, I'm starting to realize I might be one of the letters of the LGBT 'alphabet soup', as they say. Not the main 4, but one of the lesser known ones. I didn't even know much about it before. I had heard about it, but never really looked into it until recently. I didn't know that I was 'that way'.
I might say what it is at some point on here (some might get hints, and know about it even without me coming out and saying it), but I want to learn more about it for the time being. Almost everything I've researched so far sounds pretty much like they're talking about me. Which is creepy in a way. It's weird to think you were one way, and then find out you truly were something different.
Thinking I was supposedly the 'norm'. I think it'd seem more normal if I was one of the main LGB letters. Within each of those groups, they make a bigger population than people like me alone. There are about an equal number of T people. Also, the T in the main 4 letters is not a sexual orientation. It's a gender thing. For some reason, some people get that confused...Although, T's can also be in the same group as me. That's even a smaller percentage. Also, I know some people have told me in the past that one of the A's stands for ally, and that I was apart of it that way, but that felt odd in a way. I was of course proud to be an ally, and still am to the other 'letters', though.
Now that I might actually feel like I'm more into that alphabet soup, it still feels weird. Not sure what to really make of it.
There's a spectrum for what I'm pretty sure at this point that I am, and it'd be interesting to find out where I land in it. But, it's also not a huge thing to know exactly right now. There are a lot of different interesting symbols/flags/etc. with this one, too. Knowing more about this kind of feels like I'm learning more about myself. Seeing the similarities are interesting. It makes so much sense. Actually makes me feel better to know other people are like that, too.
I might try to find more info at Pride events. I don't think I'll find much, though. I do know there's an organization for it in Seattle, and I think they'll be at Seattle Pride. It'd be nice to meet people who are similar. I think they also have a 'meetup' group. There's also a big online forum that promotes visibility and education. I might join that. Also, found that there are some dating sites geared towards people like me. So, it also helps to know when it comes to dating and such. There are youtube vids, as well.
Finished Mayoiga on Monday. It was a very interesting series. Not perfect, but had a lot of interesting things going on. Very philosophical. I think many people thought that it would be a horror-type anime. That might be why they seemed to be so turned off by it. It was more of a mystery. Although, there were 'monsters' in it. These monsters, or as they called them nanaki, were really psychological scars or traumas come to life. So, one character's nanaki was a stuffed penguin ripped up a bit on top, with his mother's eyes moving around in the ripped up section. He heard her voice as well. Another one had a giant hornet come at her. Some of the others were a train, an abused grandmother that was like a giant, an imaginary friend, a giant version of one of the other characters, a deceased daughter, etc. They were supposed to confront them. If they did and ended up accepting them, but ended up still having a residual 'scar', it was ideal. You would disappear from the village and reappear back in the 'real' world. These monsters were essentially a piece of them that they needed to accept. Not run away from, find a way to 'get rid' of, nor ignore them. There was a person who made it back to the real world before this group made it there, but he completely got rid of his. In doing so, he started aging very rapidly, and felt like he lost part of his personality. He didn't understand emotions like anger or depression anymore. So, even though he was happy, he could feel a vague feeling of regret. The ending was a bit weird. Didn't seem like an actual ending. About a third of the group decided to stay behind in the town. The rest somehow managed to accept their nanaki, and ended up suddenly appearing back on the tour bus. All of the ones on the bus seemed slightly happier, but they still gave off a creepy vibe. Even sang the same creepy song they sung on the way to the town. We don't know what will happen to them or the people who stayed behind. It seemed very abrupt, too. Some of the characters were annoying or cringe-worthy at times. But, there were quite a few that I really liked. For some reason, this show gave me a similar feeling as Shiki. That one was a mystery involving vampires. Yeah, there was more violence and more of a horror feel, but it still had a similar 'vibe'. Not really my cup of tea, but still interesting and unique.
Mood:
I usually have chocolate covered candied orange peels during Passover. Surprisingly good stuff. I'm not sure if I've had it without the chocolate...I've scraped the chocolate off and tried it that way before. I don't think that's exactly the same, though.
It still tastes unique. I thought I'd hate it or there wouldn't be much to it before I tried it. It's also National Orange Juice Day. I can't seem to drink it by itself. Has a similar affect on me as when I try to have milk by itself. My throat closes up, I get phlegmy, and end up choking. It's weird.
But, cooking with orange juice is good. It's also International Firefighters Day. They definitely deserve to be appreciated and have their own day.
This is my wallpaper for May. It features most of the main characters from Pandora Hearts. I thought it'd be nice to have a cute and lighthearted wallpaper during such an emotionally tough month for me.My mom's anniversary of passing away was on the 1st, there's Mother's Day, then her yahrzeit which is on May 17th this year, her birthday was on the 21st, and my parents' anniversary was this month as well. So, most of this month reminds me of her.
My beagle calendar features one beagle looking regal into the distance. I think this one's slightly older than the previous ones. Looks even more like Buster.
The info blurb this time mentions some things about their sense of smell and taste. Their sense of smell is the most heightened. Taste is related to smell, so it's one of their strengths as well. They love food, seem to always be hungry, and will do anything to get even a small treat. Wow, that sounds familiar.Buster was into eating almost anything he could find. There were very few things he wouldn't eat. Like onions/onion skin. That's poisonous to them, so makes sense. But, he did get into a pound of coffee, a huge box of candles, a bag of peanut butter M&M's, goldfish food (ate everything including most of the actual container), half a challah loaf in a few seconds, bark, etc. He was very sneaky about getting things. They also mention that the comedian Dave Barry once described his in-laws' beagle as "a nose with feet".
My Jewish calendar's main pic features a Shabbat lamp, has an anonymous maker, made out of copper, Poland; 1800-1900. I'm not used to seeing these lamps in real life. They must have been a thing in Europe back then, because there have been a few featured in the past with the museum that puts out this calendar. This one has flowers blooming out of the middle. With some sort of wispy windy design just under it. It's interesting. The 2nd thing featured is actually split into 2 pics. It's a tallit, has an anonymous maker, made out of textile, Netherlands; 1800-21. The pics are really just of one corner each of the tallit. (A tallit is a prayer shawl.) So, they're not showing all of it. The two corners have interesting designs. Both have olive branches encompassing 2 different things. One has the initials JDC that look like they're in calligraphy, and a big crown over it. The other one has the tablets and a big crown on top of it. I think the second pic's crown is bigger than the first. Interesting to see parts of such an old tallit.
The month-long holidays are: National BBQ Month, National Egg Month, National Hamburger Month, National Salad Month, National Salsa (the food) Month, National Strawberry Month, National Vinegar Month, Drum Month, Jewish-American Heritage Month, Mystery Month, National Guide Dog Month, National Inventors Month, National Pet Month. Some are for important causes, some are to make you appreciate things you may take for granted, and some are just for fun.
Ended Passover a day early, mainly because I couldn't stand it any longer.
I don't think the restrictions during the holiday agree with my digestive system. Or, the way I end up eating during it. I might have to switch to the Sephardic way next time. This was my first Passover after my diagnosis/symptoms of IBD. So, I guess it was somewhat of a trial run. I might read more about what other Jews with this eat during it next year. It's supposedly more common with Ashkenazic Jews, so there should be some material on it.
On Saturday, we did our monthly big grocery shopping, ate out, and went to the mall. That weekend felt weird because of the anniversary of my mom passing away.
So, it was kind of nice going out and eating some comfort food. I kind of had my own little chametz festival, too. Feels good to eat 'normal' food again.
Went to Elmer's for an early brunch (got their waffle special), got some lemon bar ice cream at a local ice cream place for a snack, and went to Red Robin for dinner. I got Red Robin's burger special. It was a ramen burger. Kind of felt more like eating a beef and ramen stir fry. The noodles were crispy on the outside and soft in the inside. There were a variety of vegetables, and 2 sauces. It was impossible to hold like a normal burger. Fell apart as soon as you touched it. But, that's why they have silverware...
It was good, except it had a slight burn after each bite. I got it without the jalapenos, and they told me that was the only thing that might have made it spicy. So, I don't know why it had that effect. Ever since the last time I was hospitalized, I haven't digested spicy food well. They warned me about it, too. They said that after being given so many things to get better, it wiped out most of my flora and fauna in my gut. Therefore, I don't have as much of that as I used to. Somewhat of a different issue than my IBD. But, this means I have to be careful with how spicy something is. (I used to love spicy food!
)
Last month, I had tried on those smaller sized jeans to see if they fit. I didn't actually get them then. It was just to see. Turns out the old jeans I had at the time had gotten much worse within that month. They were falling off of me, threadbare in the top part of the back, thinning, and starting to get holes.(Also, had strange lines. Almost looked like measuring lines, like you would see for sewing.) So, even though I felt really full from all the food I ate on Saturday, I decided to try on another pair of the same smaller size in the 'normal' section. They fit me like a glove. Maybe better than last time. (I thought I was gaining a bit...) I even asked Dad if they had fit well, to also make sure I wasn't imagining it. She agreed that they did. They don't actually slide in the butt, I fill them out more, and they're bell bottom-styled. I love that style. Hard to find in the larger sizes. The only problem was I'm apparently too short for the 'short' size.
It shrunk a bit, but it's still a little too long. I'm really happy about getting them, them fitting well, and the idea that I really did lose that much.
Also, yesterday was the first day that I wore them after they had been washed. They feel nice and comfy.
Sunday was the 4-year anniversary of my mom passing away. Her yahrzeit, which is the anniversary on the Jewish calendar, is on the 9th of Iyar. Since that calendar is lunar, the dates seem to jump around when compared to the regular calendar. In reality, the dates never change when just looking at the Jewish one. The 9th of Iyar is on May 17th this year. (Interestingly, it's the 26th of Nisan right now. Start of the 27th is tonight.) We had the unveiling of her headstone that day. I like the design of it now that I can see it more. It was just Dad and I for the short ceremony. A rabbi that we know pretty well gave us suggestions on what prayers, readings, etc. we could say. Also, on how it usually goes. I brought what was originally Mom's tehilim (or psalms' book) to read from. It has suggestions of which ones to read/say for certain occasions or situations. Like, when visiting a cemetery and a loved one that's passed away, a bris, a wedding, a bar/bat mitzvah, having children, being sick, etc. It's very interesting and can be handy. They also have the Hebrew version of them alongside the English translation. It was really nice out, too.
I thought we were going to have a picnic there after the unveiling. We went to one of, what was, my mom's fave restaurants instead. It's a local fish place called JJ's. I got their fishwich. I think it was the first time I've had theirs. It's a fried fish (cod or halibut?) fillet with cheese, and tartar sauce on top of that. It comes with some extra fixings on the side. Like, lettuce, tomato, onions, etc. It came with fries. The only problem was that the sauce only made it to a small part of the sandwich, with most of the rest landing on the plate. It was tasty overall, though.
I might post the pics of the food I ate that weekend soon on facebook and deviantART. I posted them pretty much right away to instagram. People seem to like them on there. To me, a lot of the food seemed unique. Like the ramen burger. Also, hopefully, I'll get back to posting on here more often.
Started watching some of the new anime from this current season a couple of weeks ago. I didn't really like Sousei no Onmyouji or Twin Star Exorcists at first, but it's growing on me. Interesting how supposedly the two main characters, who are considered to be the strongest, have to marry and their kid will be the 'miko'. That miko will be the most powerful exorcist. They didn't explain that until a couple of episodes into it. Those two exorcists are considered the 'Twin Stars'. It seems funnier after they brought this up. The way it started, it seemed like it'd be too serious.
With Bungou (or Literary) Stray Dogs, I liked it right away. Very interesting concepts. All the characters from the detective organization are based on real life authors from the past. Most of the authors are from Japan, but there are a few who aren't. Their attacks are based on the real life authors' most famous works. Their real life personalities are reflected in the characters, too. Except, I think I read that, one of the characters is actually based on a character from one of the author's works. They made her into his sister. Supposedly that character originally was sex-crazed, and in the anime she's all over him. They seem to never be separated from each other. I think that's the only character like that. The mafia characters in it might be based on authors, too. Since they have similar abilities. The main character, Atsushi, changes into a white Siberian tiger. (My fave animal!
) He can't control it. It just happens. He's been abandoned from many places because of this ability. The detectives took him in, though. They're very powerful. The mafia's after him because apparently he's worth a lot on the black market. Very interesting so far. The manga was written by Kafka Asagiri. Someone named Kafka (probably a pseudonym) writing something like this makes a lot of sense. Kind of cool, too.
Koutestujou no Kabaneri or Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress has been interesting. I'm not sure if I like the style of animation style.
Slowly getting used to it, I think. The story and their world seem interesting so far. Kabane are like zombies that infect humans with just one bite. It seems that they've taken over the world, except for villages near the train tracks. And, those are slowly being taken over. Many people actually live on the trains. If you're bitten, they either wait to see if you 'change' within a few days, or they tell you to immediately kill yourself (or they shoot to kill if you refuse to). Most of the time it's the latter. This has led to some hysteria and paranoia about it. Some might be accused of being bitten when they haven't been. Many people think you can't cure it. The main character, Ikoma, is trying to find a cure, and a way to kill the Kabane instantly. He was bitten, but managed to stop the virus by using a tourniquet and coming close to strangling himself to death. He's now considered a Kabaneri. Something that's neither human nor Kabane. One of the characters, who's also a Kabaneri, said they may be humanity's last hope. They become extremely strong, still keep their humanity, and apparently need blood to survive. Not sure what kind of blood (like human's or kabane's), or how they're going to get it.
Mayoiga or The Lost Village has been a good mystery story so far. It's about a bunch of people leaving their previous life behind for a better fresh start. Getting rid of everything from their world and going to this 'lost village'. Most of them met online, and only go by their username. A couple of them know each other offline. Like, the main character's best friend went with him. All of them have a messed up past. We've only seen snippets of that so far. Another thing is, since many of them don't know each other, they're quick to accuse others. No one knew where this village was until someone emailed one of the organizers. They didn't leave any contact info, just where the village was and landmarks of it. Even the police don't know where it is. The residents seem to have left a day before the group made it there. Almost like they just vanished that day. There's also a weird monster that keeps howling. Each member of the group hears something different from it. They also seem to see different things, when they see parts of this 'monster'. There's a theory that they are all actually dead and stuck in this village. I wouldn't be surprised, but I think this idea has been used before in other stories. Hopefully, it'll be unique with what's actually happening that way. There's already the possibility that one of them was killed. How can you kill a ghost? They also apparently can't leave the village. Half the group thought it wouldn't be safe to stay with a weird monster on the loose, and decided to try and make the trek out. They ended up going in loops back to where they started in the woods. Then they found train tracks by going off the trail a bit, but it had crumbled away halfway over a very steep cliff. Some of the characters are annoying, but many of them are very interesting. Makes you wonder why some are there. The main character seems too innocent, friendly, and like he's acting out a role to get on the good side of others. It'd be cool if he was really a nice person, but we don't know yet. One of the characters said it was the nice and calm ones people should really watch out for. She also said she can tell when someone's about to die, and she said she sensed it from him.
Also, got another blood draw done on Monday. My gastro had told me to have it done a couple of weeks ago. I just didn't want to. I was bruised again. Got my sed rate back already. It's 20, and remission range is 0-20. It's a lot better. I just still don't feel better. My ALT (liver enzyme), and regular blood panel were both normal. I think there were a couple more that were ordered. How can I have good results when I'm not feeling that way yet? It's still semi-frustrating. I think my primary suggested that my system might be taking a while to catch up functionally. So, I'm better with the disease, but my digestive tract needs to 'get used' to it. It makes sense, but on the other hand, still frustrating. Why isn't it used to it already?
I'm happy things are better with the results, though.
I've also found an interesting social network called Shabbat.com. They started as a way for people to host or be a guest at a Shabbat meal. Kind of cool. Their membership is really growing. Still not many people around me. A few in Seattle, but not many. They started in New York. They have people from around the world that use it, too. Some from Israel, Brazil, China, Australia, the UK, and more. It's also used just as a Jewish social site, like facebook. In fact, it has a similar look as facebook. They mostly have Orthodox Jews, but Conservative Jews I think come in 2nd. I haven't seen very many other Reform Jews. There are a handful of converts, and people who aren't Jewish but just are curious about it. They also have categories for what family background you have. Like, are you Ashkenazic, Sephardic, Mizrahi, etc. There's also a dating section of it. That part is a bit strange.
They lock your dating profile for a certain amount of time, then only show it to certain people. You can have them pair you up, too. You don't need to do anything if you choose that. I had a ton of welcomes when I joined. Next to the 'like' hand, they have the option of welcoming people when they start using the site. Apparently, a lot of people like my profile pic, too. The site isn't perfect yet, and I hope they make updates to it in the future. I like the idea, and most of it so far has been good.
