Yay for music!
I can't imagine a world without music. Even when I'm not playing my clarinet, it's still a big part of my life. I don't think I'd be here without it.
It can affect your mood, the way you think about something, bring back memories, etc. It's powerful. Yesterday was the first day of summer. I'm kind of glad the days will start to get shorter now. I think the amount of sunlight has affected my sleep a bit.
But, summer can be fun.On Sunday, I went to the local Pride Picnic at a park. There were cabins and a lodge there, too. There were so many rainbow flags!
The main one was huge, and draped over the main building. Quite impressive. In front of it, they laid out some tables with food. Near that was a BBQ, where they were grilling up a bunch of burgers. Both the regular beef kind, and a vegetarian kind. The table had the finished burgers, buns, their fixings (including pickles), potato chips, watermelon, and cookies. I actually could eat most of it. Yay!
There was music coming from a lodge across a wide open field. People had brought chairs, and were sitting out there. Some were playing frisbee, volleyball, etc. We brought some really old camp chairs that are kind of flimsy and small, but still usable and relatively comfortable. We sat next to a family that Dad knew. It was great chatting with them, eating, and listening to some of the music. Although, occasionally they blared the music a little too much, than made it too quiet, than finally went to a normal level. It didn't happen that often at first, but maybe they were trying to figure out the perfect volume.
After a while, Dad and I hiked a trail that wound around a lake. There were so many dragonflies! All sorts of sizes and colors. They were beautiful.
I'm not used to seeing so many at once. Some of the really big ones followed me, and whenever I paused they would land near me. I think they were trying to figure me out. Maybe I smelled interesting to them...Eventually, the trail opened up to part of the beach near the lake. There were canoes and kayaks. They had told us before that we're more than welcome to use them. We didn't, but that's kind of cool. After going a little further on the trail, my right knee really started to act up. More than it has for the last month or so. Felt like my kneecap and other parts of it were actually separating from each other all at once.
I even tried stretching that knee, but it just got worse. So, I had to stop and go back early. Dad kept going. I was kind of disappointed that I couldn't go further. As I was almost back to where the trail started, a group of guys blocked the path, stopped, turned to me, and said: "It's really beautiful out here, isn't it?" I was in a lot of pain at that point, and just really wanted to get back to the parking lot (or at least back to more stable ground). I tried my best to do a fake smile and quickly said: "Yeah, it's really great." They eventually moved and I was able to go through, but it was rude in a way.
It would have been different if they didn't block the path to the point where there was no way around them. I managed to get back to the car, and waited. I thought, at first, it'd be good to just rest a bit. That maybe my knee would calm down a little that way. Felt that if I sat down, it would hurt more, so I stood. Then, I thought that Dad would come back around to the start of the trail, and if I stayed near the car she'd see me. Not necessarily that we'd leave, just a familiar landmark, I guess. Turns out the trail probably ended in a loop somewhere else. So, she never met back up to that area. I did think about calling her, but the reception was horrible. Anyways, I eventually noticed she was talking to a couple of people I knew somewhat near me. I noticed my knee was slightly better, and joined up with them. A bit later, Dad went off to do the labyrinth while I chatted with those 2 people we knew and sat at one of the picnic tables. That was nice. Also, gave a bit more time for my knee to calm down.
All in all, I did have fun there.
The event was supposed to go from 12pm until 5pm. We were there at around 12 until around 4. That's a good chunk of time, but again, it was nice. I might go to a couple more Pride events. The local Pride organization is doing 20 events this year. (I think it's something about 20 events marking the 20 years its been around.) That's a lot.
There's also Seattle Pride. Should be interesting. I think I went to my first Pride a couple of years ago. And, I've only gone to about 3 or 4 events for it in total now. Also, I'm starting to realize I might be one of the letters of the LGBT 'alphabet soup', as they say. Not the main 4, but one of the lesser known ones. I didn't even know much about it before. I had heard about it, but never really looked into it until recently. I didn't know that I was 'that way'.
I might say what it is at some point on here (some might get hints, and know about it even without me coming out and saying it), but I want to learn more about it for the time being. Almost everything I've researched so far sounds pretty much like they're talking about me. Which is creepy in a way. It's weird to think you were one way, and then find out you truly were something different.
Thinking I was supposedly the 'norm'. I think it'd seem more normal if I was one of the main LGB letters. Within each of those groups, they make a bigger population than people like me alone. There are about an equal number of T people. Also, the T in the main 4 letters is not a sexual orientation. It's a gender thing. For some reason, some people get that confused...Although, T's can also be in the same group as me. That's even a smaller percentage. Also, I know some people have told me in the past that one of the A's stands for ally, and that I was apart of it that way, but that felt odd in a way. I was of course proud to be an ally, and still am to the other 'letters', though.
Now that I might actually feel like I'm more into that alphabet soup, it still feels weird. Not sure what to really make of it.
There's a spectrum for what I'm pretty sure at this point that I am, and it'd be interesting to find out where I land in it. But, it's also not a huge thing to know exactly right now. There are a lot of different interesting symbols/flags/etc. with this one, too. Knowing more about this kind of feels like I'm learning more about myself. Seeing the similarities are interesting. It makes so much sense. Actually makes me feel better to know other people are like that, too.
I might try to find more info at Pride events. I don't think I'll find much, though. I do know there's an organization for it in Seattle, and I think they'll be at Seattle Pride. It'd be nice to meet people who are similar. I think they also have a 'meetup' group. There's also a big online forum that promotes visibility and education. I might join that. Also, found that there are some dating sites geared towards people like me. So, it also helps to know when it comes to dating and such. There are youtube vids, as well.Finished Mayoiga on Monday. It was a very interesting series. Not perfect, but had a lot of interesting things going on. Very philosophical. I think many people thought that it would be a horror-type anime. That might be why they seemed to be so turned off by it. It was more of a mystery. Although, there were 'monsters' in it. These monsters, or as they called them nanaki, were really psychological scars or traumas come to life. So, one character's nanaki was a stuffed penguin ripped up a bit on top, with his mother's eyes moving around in the ripped up section. He heard her voice as well. Another one had a giant hornet come at her. Some of the others were a train, an abused grandmother that was like a giant, an imaginary friend, a giant version of one of the other characters, a deceased daughter, etc. They were supposed to confront them. If they did and ended up accepting them, but ended up still having a residual 'scar', it was ideal. You would disappear from the village and reappear back in the 'real' world. These monsters were essentially a piece of them that they needed to accept. Not run away from, find a way to 'get rid' of, nor ignore them. There was a person who made it back to the real world before this group made it there, but he completely got rid of his. In doing so, he started aging very rapidly, and felt like he lost part of his personality. He didn't understand emotions like anger or depression anymore. So, even though he was happy, he could feel a vague feeling of regret. The ending was a bit weird. Didn't seem like an actual ending. About a third of the group decided to stay behind in the town. The rest somehow managed to accept their nanaki, and ended up suddenly appearing back on the tour bus. All of the ones on the bus seemed slightly happier, but they still gave off a creepy vibe. Even sang the same creepy song they sung on the way to the town. We don't know what will happen to them or the people who stayed behind. It seemed very abrupt, too. Some of the characters were annoying or cringe-worthy at times. But, there were quite a few that I really liked. For some reason, this show gave me a similar feeling as Shiki. That one was a mystery involving vampires. Yeah, there was more violence and more of a horror feel, but it still had a similar 'vibe'. Not really my cup of tea, but still interesting and unique.
This one barely seems older than a puppy. His whole body is shown in this one. His tail is sticking straight up. The info blurb this time is about 'the Beagle Brigade' that patrol baggage-claim areas at over 20 international airports
), of the symptoms I mentioned in the email were: being fatigued almost all the time, frequent waves of nausea, joint pain (particularly in my right knee), strong abdominal pain (stronger at times than what I've been 'used to'), lightheaded, ears are ringing a lot more often (I think that's usually like an internal alarm for me that something's not right when it happens), heavy and acidic stomach pain (I didn't have that much stomach pain when I was diagnosed, the pain was mostly in my lower abdomen), a lot of pain just before eating and just after, and more gurgly than usual. Recently, about 3 days ago, I've had stabbing pains on the middle right side of my abdomen that radiates across my back and towards my spine. Also, some weird chest pain that just started about 2 days ago.
I do remember that when I was taking 3 a day, it caused some nasty side effects. I'm wondering if maybe my body doesn't like to be on it for too long. It takes a while for the azathioprine to build up in your system and to actual start to kick in. Maybe I need to switch to another med. But, that might mean trying a biologic like humira or remicade. Pretty much the heavier meds are the only ones I know about that are left.
The lab tech 'prepared' the samples for me. (Many of them prefer people do it with a kit at home, but you supposedly can do it there, too.) Hopefully, they can do that this time. It's still gross. But, if it gives a better view of what's happening, I'll try. 
I've read that some of my symptoms correspond a bit to what people might experience if their small intestines are affected. So, that should be interesting. I know my gastro can't exactly pinpoint which IBD I have (either Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis), but what if I have both? This might be why she can't be entirely certain. I've read that some people do have both, although it's more rare.