National Peanut Butter Day!

I love peanut butter! A little goes a long way, though. It goes with a lot of things. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are great. Peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches are even better. It's good in savory dishes, too. I can only have the smooth kind, because the bits in the crunchy one upsets my gut. I liked that one a lot more...Felt like there was more substance to it. At least, I don't have issues with it in this form. I have to stay away from whole or chunks of nuts, too. Although, I occasionally break this by having a tiny amount to try something new, and regret it later. It's nice that I can have smooth butter versions of them. 

Felt so weird today. Most of the day, I've felt like throwing up and passing out simultaneously. Not a good combo. I don't know what's going on with me. Plus, both sides of my abdomen have been cramping up since I went to bed last night. Made it super hard to sleep. I couldn't find a comfortable position. I usually get that weird crampy thing only one side at night. Usually, I can find one position to sleep relatively comfortably in. It doesn't normally last for the entire next day, either. My primary still hasn't gotten back to me with a new referral to see a GI closer to where I live that's out-of-network. Doesn't sound good to me. 

Finished Duolingo's Italian course. The last unit was on politics, which was interesting. I might, in the far future, go back through and max out the levels. However, I still don't see the point in that. For the next language, I'll probably use a different language learning app. Duolingo's pretty limited still with what languages they offer, and other apps might actually be better. HelloChinese was on another level compared to Duo. They went into a lot more detail with the grammar, pronunciation, speaking, etc. Also, had fun games in addition to the regular course. They have a podcast discussing the language and culture, as well. They're fb page's pretty active, and they've given me a Top Fan badge. I don't know why they gave me that...I've only liked their stuff. Haven't commented or shared anything from it. The Mango app has an extensive amount of languages. I was surprised that they have Yiddish, and both Irish and Scots Gaelic. Hard to find those. They seem to get more detailed and have notes on cultural stuff, too. There's also LingoDeer for Japanese, Chinese, and Korean. I might use that for Korean, if I do it next. Might look up other apps to get a range of choices. These look promising, though. Since I started learning new languages every 3 to 4 months, I've gone through German, Chinese, and Italian now. Tried a little bit with Russian, but Duolingo's course was awful. Might go back to that in a different app in the future. So many already! Yay! I still remember a lot of the German and Chinese courses, too.

There wasn't much progression with Helck. However, it was interesting to see the 'extras' on the story of piuy (aka piwi) and the witch that found him. He's always saying he's not a bird, yet he looks like one. When the witch taught him to say hello when greeting someone, he said it to everyone he saw. He was terrified of people before. He also screams everything. He must be older than he seems, since he was with the witch long before joining Helck and Vamirio. I think he might be one of the legendary creatures, but hasn't 'evolved' yet. That'd be cool. I think he'll have more of a role towards the end. 

I might be finished with drawing Shadow's feet. I'm not too confident about them. Although, they're at a weird angle. Next, will be his clothes. Edited a couple more pages of Alliance, again. More errors than last time.

Played the last piece in the Mozart book on my clarinet. It's the only piece that Mozart made specifically for the clarinet. He finished it just before he died. I like when they have info notes on the pieces. It's also one of the most difficult pieces in the book. Fun to start off with. I also did some of the Clarinet Solos book. That one's interesting, because they mix difficult pieces with really easy ones. 

Finished watching Gab-Dong. It was really well done. The actor who played the copycat, Lee Joon, was great! The copycat's name is Tae Oh Ryu. He seemed to really get into his role. It'd be interesting to see him in something else. There were so many twists and turns. The only issues I had were using the aro psychopath serial killer trope, the staring..., and the way Detective Ha treated Dr. Oh at some point. I knew why Ha acted that way, but it still seemed unnecessary and rude. It had a surprising ending. They made you really feel for Tae Oh, which was interesting. They brought up some moral dilemmas, and debated whether psychopaths should be treated as human. Interesting psychological elements to it. The music was very fitting. Also, the cinematography was amazing! My new computer has a quality picture itself, but the cinematography added to it. You could see the pores on the actors' faces, stubble, veins in their eyes (had a hard time looking at some of them, because they were particularly veiny), dust, and so many other minute details. Felt more 'real' that way. The only weird part with that was they censored things like book titles, knives, posters, and shirts by blurring them out. I think some of the other Korean shows I've seen so far have censored things like that, too. 

The next show I'll go back to tonight is Cheo-Yong. It's another Korean drama. This time it's a supernatural detective one. I watched 3 episodes of it a while ago. I only stopped because I wanted to finish watching others that I had started beforehand. It'll be interesting to go back to. It has 20 episodes, like Gab-Dong does.

Tried watching Grimms Notes yesterday. Not sure if I like it. The animation seems lackluster for some reason. I like the concept. In their world, everyone's born with a book of fate. Most people have everything about themselves and what life they'll lead written in it. Everything from birth to their death. There are those that have blank books that help keep those fates the way they were meant to be. Chaos Tellers, who also have blank ones, try to rewrite those fates. Oftentimes, turning the owners of those books into creatures. This first episode was based on the story of Red Riding Hood. It makes me wonder if each episode will focus on a different story from Grimm's Fairy Tales. 

My Roommate's a Cat was really cute. This time Haru was going crazy trying to 'protect' her human and home from Subaru's parents' ghosts. It played on the idea that when cats are going crazy or suddenly stare intently at nothing, that they see ghosts. Eventually, those ghosts turned to their human forms and thanked Haru, then disappeared. (Subaru didn't see them.) Haru was flabbergasted, but proud she protected the home and her human. Subaru finally started petting her. She was wary of it at first, but then it felt warm and comforting to her. It was weird to her especially because she was originally a stray. She licked his face while he cried, because she thought he was terrified of the weird ghost wisps going around. What really happened was that he realized how much his parents actually cared about him, and he'd never be able to thank them because they're dead. His editor is a huge cat lover, and has decided to 'meet' every day with Subaru at his home to see Haru. I have a feeling it's also to check up on him. 

National Pie Day!

There are so many different kinds of pies out there! Interesting there's a day for them. I love cherry, s'mores, lemon meringue, Dutch apple, pecan, chess, mincemeat, banana, cream-based, and more. It's also National Handwriting Day. My handwriting is weird. It's tiny, slanted, and the g/y/p have long tails. It's so tiny that I have a hard time writing big enough for posters, signs, or even name tags. They usually end up being either too small to read, or even weirder looking. 

Got up late and felt sicker than I have been for the last couple of days. Hard to get motivated to do stuff when starting late, and you feel like that. However, I got most of what I wanted to get done anyways. Yay!

Ordered both my Lamotrigine and Lialda. Last time I was charged twice for the Lamotrigine. I know it gets weird when my primary renews the refills. Even though I told her not to order it for me at the same time, it seems she did anyways. We'll see if they try to do that again with it. I'll keep the receipt this time, just in case. It's a headache. The funny thing is at the end of last month she gave me 99 refills to be filled by the end of this year...I only would need 12 for a year. Seems excessive. Maybe it was a statement. I also emailed Ashley about another list of gender therapists. It'd be interesting to see more options.

Finished the Spiritual unit in Duolingo's Italian course. Next one will be the last, and it's called Politics. Maybe I'll start another language next week. Gives some time to decide. I might try Yiddish or Korean. 

In Choujin Gakuen or Supernatural School, a lot more stuff was revealed. It also made me tear up when they killed off a lovable character. I won't say who, since it'll spoil it if anyone's interested. Seems like the world is doomed again. I'm getting close to the end of this one. 

Black Clover was just about a festival. Felt like a fluff episode. I guess they needed that after the stuff they went through. 

In One Piece, Luffy had a new 'gear' transformation at the end that he called Snakeman. Seems like it'll give him a big boost, and some of the manga readers commented that the fight was coming to an end soon with this. Yay! It's been too long. 

I'll watch the last episode of Gab-Dong tonight. I'll give more of a review on it tomorrow. There were a lot of surprises and twists and turns. The copycat is smarter than the original. 

I'm pretty much done with drawing Shadow's legs. They look more 'human' than what I was doing before. Played some Mozart on my clarinet. I like Mozart, but at the same time I don't. It feels like a lot of those pieces were made to troll musicians, but they sound great when played right...So weird. Edited a couple more pages of Alliance, too. 

National Bagel Day!

Bagels are great! The only issue I have with them is a normal sized one is full of calories. If it's not a treat day, I'd only allow myself half or a quarter of it. (Depends on brand, type, and what I have with it.) They're nice every once in a while. I like pretty much all of them except poppy seed. There's plain, blueberry, cinnamon and raisin, cheese, everything, onion, dill, etc. So many different flavors to choose from! I'm one of those people that isn't too fond of lox and cream cheese on mine. Maybe the lox, but no 'schmear'. Most of the time I like them plain or with a little margarine. Rarely, I might add cheese and heat it up until it melts. Doesn't need much, if anything.

Woke up a little late today. Had a hard time falling asleep, but once I finally was, I was out cold. I've decided not to beat myself up about that sort of thing, and instead embrace it. Trying to take care of my health more, and listen to my body. Maybe I needed that extra time? Maybe it's fighting something like a cold? I have a feeling I might be coming down with something. If that's true, than it definitely needs that time. I also don't want to push myself too much. That's a good way for me to become less motivated with things again. I think that's what happened in the past. In fact, doing the calendar reminder thing not long ago, ended up feeling more like a nuisance. My current way of doing things seems a lot more flexible. I don't need to spend the same amount of time on everything every day. I shortened up a lot of it today, because of that late start. Still got quite a lot done. I'm going by a to-do list like format (in Notes on my phone) and checking off things as I go. I don't have to follow the order it's in, either. Seemingly a much better way of doing things.

I've always had very sensitive teeth. I've kept up with brushing my teeth twice a day with a sensitivity toothpaste for a little over a week. I've been pretty bad with doing it daily in the past. Sometimes I would just forget. Not good when you don't see a dentist, have had gingivitis, and have sensitive teeth (they get worse). Anyways, this one also helps strengthen enamel and whitens. The whitening part is more of a side thing. One of the active ingredients acts similar to an anesthetic. Numbing and closing up the little tubules that expose nerves. They say it takes at least 2 weeks to get the full affect. I can tell it's working well so far. Things aren't hurting nearly as much when I eat, or even when I'm just in cold weather. Just feeling that cold air on my teeth used to give me searing pain. Eating has been a nicer experience lately. I still get the pain sometimes, but it's barely there. It'd be nice to see if it completely numbs it at the end of those 2 weeks. My teeth feel stronger and look whiter already, too. Wahoo!

I mentioned this on fb recently, but Gab-Dong made the psychopath copycat serial killer aro. That's a common trope, and makes people think aros are psychopaths or killers. A nasty thing to do. Pisses me off. It's like the trope of trans people being victims or crazed killers. I'm tired of both those. The aro one (and other tropes they push for aro people) actually affected me when I was figuring out my romantic orientation. Since I'm not a psychopath, frigid, unfeeling, robotic, etc; I must not be aro. Anything but that. This is really harmful. After looking more into it, I realized I was very wrong about it. I'm about as aro as it gets, and proud of it now. I had to get over that conditioned by society internalized arophobia, though. That's such a common thing people assume about us, that the food symbol the aro community has (decided through Arocalypse) addresses it. It's ice cream. We may seem cold and unfeeling, but we're actually sweet and kind. Plus, most people like ice cream...This way I'm an ice cream cake (cake for aces). Those are awesome! Wouldn't it be nice to see a kindhearted aro detective? Interestingly, I thought no one reacted to my post about this on fb. Looking back at it, I've had quite a few reactions. Didn't get notified about them, though. I think there was another recent post that fb didn't notify me about reactions, either. It's weird. The one about aros seems to have only had reactions from people I don't know, though. (Haven't looked into how they found it, but I do have my profile/posts set to public.) However, it's not showing me who shared it. Maybe it was someone who shared it to a secret group? Again, how did they stumble upon it? The other post, someone I knew reacted. I don't know...Maybe they're being selective with those now, too. That would be sad. Maybe if you don't post that often they do that sort of thing?

I've really liked Gab-Dong besides that. Now the copycat killer is furious. Everything seems to be ruined for him. He's on his way to Switzerland, so he'll be away from everything, too. He can't act out the rest of the murders because he doesn't know the details, anyways. The detectives, forensic psychiatrist, and copycat, all thought the original Gab-Dong was someone at the mental institution. Turns out that person was just a pawn of the original. He had moments where he thought for sure he was the original, but it was due to his mental illness. He knew the details about the first 5 murders because he worked with someone that was working the case 20 years ago, after being falsely accused. He wanted to catch him himself. Being accused ruined his life. They've accused thousands of people in the past, and ruined most of their lives. Some even committed suicide. This makes sense thinking about the real life case. Like I mentioned before, they accused over 20,000 people. They probably were all used by the real one. He's smart. It'd be interesting to see what happens next. There's a lot of episodes left. Maybe the original one will come back and finish the murders? Or, will it just be about finding him now? 

Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken or That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime has been good so far. They went over what Rimuru's possible gender could be as a slime a while ago. In his past life he was a man. In this one, he seems to be agender. He was trying to figure it out when he finally was able to shapeshift into human form. (He still uses he/him.) He tried thinking about being a man, but it didn't feel right. Being a woman felt even worse. He seems to have gone with a non-gendered body look (maybe androgynous, but that implies little aspects of both...) as well as not feeling either. An absolutely flat chest, no visible muscular build, average height, long hair that could go for either men or women, etc. As an agender person, this has been interesting to see so far. He seems to be growing fond of the computer like being inside him, too. It tells him if someone's a foe, info on people and places, what skills he'll gain if he eats something, and more. That computer apparently also has a function of auto-combat, where she takes over his body and fights. Rimuru can just sit back and assess the situation. He's extremely powerful in this world. He just defeated the Orc Lord in the most current episode. That orc had the ability to gain powers from people he ate. Similar to Rimuru's predator ability. Except this makes him always ravenous. He ate his own kind. It seems like the rest of the thousands of orcs might make an alliance with Rimuru. He's getting quite a lot of different beings on his side. He's keeping a dragon in him, he became leader of a goblin village, ogres joined that village, dwarves have as well, the lizardmen are now allied with him, a handful of humans are on his side, and the guardians of the forest are allied too.

With the current episodes in Radiant, it's been much more 'French' than the beginning was. It is an adaptation of a French comic that's in a manga-like style. Konrad, who's the leader in Rumble Town, reminds me of a Neo-nazi. He wants to exterminate all the immigrants and sorcerers there. He doesn't just hate them, he wants to 'purify' the town of them. This reminds me more of how some of the people of France and other places are against the Syrian (and other) immigrants 'invading' their country. There's also a huge increase of antisemitism in France, which might be the 'sorcerers' in the story. (I just realized that they probably do represent Jews...) Sorcerers are despised and discriminated against everywhere, except one place, in that world. They even have an inquisition hunting down and torturing sorcerers in that world. They feel sorcery is heresy. Yet, they sometimes ask them to take care of the Nemesis that invade. Interesting that the creator's covering these themes. 

Did just enough Italian to be counted for the day on Duolingo. With the current unit, that took about 10 minutes. Not much time at all, but I still felt like I did it. Didn't read manga, because I finished what I normally read last week. I would have wanted to start another one, but with more time. Drew only for a few minutes, but outlined one of Shadow's hands. Felt like it was something. Practiced my clarinet for 15 minutes instead of an hour. About enough to feel like a warm-up, but got through quite a bit of my jazz book. Edited more of Alliance. Managed to get through more than I thought in the time I gave myself. 

Did a shorter walk, too. Although, not as short as I had planned. It was essentially the last part of my walk walking the other direction. I do 2 loops usually. One big one that loops back towards the house. Then, a shorter one that covers the other part of the neighborhood (the longer one actually covers more than our neighborhood), wraps around the tennis courts, and goes straight back home. I haven't been doing the shorter loop lately, honestly. I was thinking of just walking straight to the tennis courts and back, not that entire loop. I guess it's good that I did more. There was a car that slowed down next to me and came close to stopping. I thought maybe they lived there or something. After I walked passed them, they suddenly turned around and followed me again. It was creepy. They stopped at some point, though. I looked in to see if I knew them, but didn't. That made it weirder. I thought maybe I had something on me, but didn't. Hope that doesn't happen again. It was cold out there again, but I'm happy I managed to get out there. 

National Apricot Day!

I love apricots! I don't get them too often, though. Used to get dried apricots all the time years ago. It's even more rare for me to have the fresh kind. The fresh ones are nice and soft, and have a more intense flavor. 

I'm trying to stick more to my diet this week. The last few weeks have been odd, because of holidays and so much good food. I didn't stray too much from it, at least. My 'diet' is having 1200-1600 calories during the week. It doesn't matter how much I have during the weekend. (Starting with Friday night, since it's Shabbos.) Sometimes I don't care every other Wednesday night after the local trans group meeting, since we go to Shari's after. So, 2 or 3 Wednesdays a month in addition to the weekends. I'm trying to shoot for within the 1400s most of the time now. I split it up into 5 small meals a day. For many people with IBD, including me, it's better to have smaller meals more often throughout the day. I also try to watch how much sugar I'm having and stick to the range in My Fitness Pal. The funny thing is I often don't get enough sugar. This is despite having so much fruit during the day. I have a hard time absorbing protein, especially when I'm flaring, so I need more than what's recommended for healthy people. Most of the time I hardly ever make it to half the normal amount for the day, though... Trying to be better about that. My potassium is often low, too. It's hard to balance this stuff with small meals. I think I'm doing ok with it this week. 

I've found out what an exact serving of cantaloupe is. Before this week, I wasn't really measuring it. I just took what I wanted. A full serving is a lot. I think I have half normally. It's very interesting to see what a serving is for many foods. For some, it looks like hardly anything, for others it looks like way too much. Plus, some 'single' servings are way too many calories for one meal to me. I have to keep this in mind with some things. It's made me view food differently since I started this 'diet' a few years ago. Some things that used to look like a decent amount look huge now. Even on the days where I can have as much as I want, I end up not being able to eat as much as I used to. 

After sticking closely to this, I can't seem to eat much more than half of what I get at most restaurants, too. It's made me realize how big the portions at restaurants actually are. I tried recently to get smaller versions of things at them. Telling them things like I want 1 pancake instead of 3, half the eggs, half of an entree, 1 biscuit, etc. I was surprised by how many could actually accommodate for that. Some told me they couldn't change the portion of something, but could leave out something else. That was nice. I also told myself not to take home any leftovers. A lot of the stuff I might get is usually not that good the next day. Plus, when I'm eating like this, it takes me forever to eat the regular things at home during the week. In fact, I sometimes end up getting tired of eating it. I'm noticing that this week. Feels like things are taking forever to eat, especially since for a lot of it I eat a half or quarter serving. This also runs the risk of things going bad before I finish or even start them. That's a balancing act in itself. I feel like I'm wasting a lot of food when I tell them that I'm not taking the leftovers. However, they're the ones that make such huge portions. It's not my fault that way. If the food is really exceptional or I hardly ever go there, I might take what's left home. That will be rare, though. 

Finished the V. Cond. unit for Italian. Read more of Choujin Gakuen or Supernatural School. I'm getting close to finishing this one. It's been better than expected. Messed a bit with drawing Shadow's torso. I decided to see what I could do without looking at that artist's anatomy book. It's looking better than I thought it would. Still need to tweak it more. Practiced my clarinet. Played klezmer tunes. I think I'm already improving a lot. Edited more of Alliance. Found even more errors than yesterday...

It's been pouring rain all day, so I tried to find an umbrella to take with me for my walk. All of them are either broken or made for a kid (too small to cover much). It was disappointing. We'll just have to get new umbrellas. My coat may have a hood, but it's not made for the rain. It soaks right through it. In the meantime, I ran up 10 flights of stairs. I did 3 flights 3 times with breaks in between, then one more. I read that 20 is a mile. However, it's a lot more intensive than my walks, so I thought half of that would be good enough. Even though my walks are 2 miles each time. Supposedly, it won't rain for the rest of the week. Yay! That's good, at least.

Been watching Gab-Dong. It's a mystery/detective Korean show. It's good so far, except for the long intense glares they usually end the episodes with. This is inspired by a real life serial killer. He killed and raped 10 women from 1986 to 1991. The killer has been compared to the Zodiac Killer. Apparently, they did something with it for Criminal Minds. The killer was never found. There were over 20,000 suspects before it turned into a cold case. They think a murder in 2004 was related to this case, which sparked new interest in it. In this show, there's a copycat killer carrying out the murders exactly, or with very slight changes, to the previous murders. The original Gab-Dong, name they refer to as the killer (I don't think they know his real name in the show), is still alive and in a mental institution. Both the new and old one are extremely intelligent. Neither of them have left any traces of themselves behind. They thought they had DNA (especially with the rape part), but mysteriously it was destroyed. The hairs they found on the most recent victim were actually from her clients. She was a hairstylist. The hair thing was new. Seemed like he was laughing at them. He was framing the lead detective for a while, and then suddenly made him look innocent. He may be even better than his idol, the real Gab-Dong. The actor certainly acts the part really well. He's also a patient of the psychiatrist in the story. She works in a mental institution for criminals. Same one that the original killer is still at. She suspects he's there, but she doesn't know who he really is. The copycat recently got out of that center, but still sees her. She has an odd fixation with Gab-Dong, and both of them have a thing for her. She might be their next target.