19th of Adar

Had a fun weekend. Went to a new place called McCloud’s for dinner on Friday. Their menu is huge! There were so many good sounding desserts on their specials menu. We shared fried pickle fries. They come with ranch. They were kind of in a nifty shape. I thought they were pretty good. I got their bbq combo. I chose the brisket, mashed potatoes, and potato salad. It comes with cornbread. The brisket was very fatty, but the rest of it was decent. The sauce was interesting. The mashed potatoes didn’t look very normal. It needed more salt. The potato salad was just ok. Cornbread was just ok. I ate close to half of everything, and had the rest (including pickle fries) for lunch on Sunday. The mashed potatoes were much better after I added a lot more salt at home. Maybe the rest of their entrees/sides will be better. I had their toffee caramel bundt cake. It was amazing! I ended up eating it all.

We went to Burger King on Saturday for lunch. Been a while since I had been there. I got a whopper with cheese without onions with onion rings and a vanilla cream soda. It was great!

After that, we got pedicures. I decided to get those instead of going to the podiatrist just to get my toenails clipped. I got the same ‘package’ as my parent. The signature one. They do a few different massages in addition to the actual pedicure part. They also add in putting on nail polish. I didn’t want the nail polish. I wasn’t sure if it would make my toenails worse. They almost didn’t understand that I didn’t want it. They don’t know very much English. I think I might have it next time. Something sparkly. I guess it’s ok to try and see what it does. They didn’t trim my nails much. That was my main thing. Next time I’ll ask them to trim them shorter. Hopefully they’ll be able to trim both my big toes’ nails. They’re the weird looking ones. They were still pretty short this time, so it was understandable that they didn’t do much with them. The skin on my legs and feet still feels really soft from all that stuff they did. I think I’ll get their basic thing next time. That still has a couple of massages. (And they still apply lotion and such.) Nail polish is included in it, too. I had worn my slippers so I can easily slip in and out of them. They tried helping me put them on afterwards. They were really nice.

We went home so I could get my socks and shoes on. My feet/legs felt naked and cold on the way home. We went to Starbucks for a snack after that. I got an iced lavender cream oatmilk matcha latte and coffee cake. The latte was new, and it had kind of a fun taste. The coffee cake was good, but very crumbly.

Went to my haircut appointment at 4:30pm. My stylist and the receptionist were the only other people in the store. It was a little weird. I got another buzzcut. It feels like she cut it even shorter than usual. I think the 6-week thing worked out more. It wasn’t getting too crazy before the haircut like it had been. The only issue is I had to make an appointment for more than 6 weeks out. It’s going to get funky again. I guess I can wear a hat if it gets bad. I brought up Rosie passing away. She suggested we get another pet. To fill the void, and that many pets need good homes. It’s hard. I don’t think I want to get attached like that to another pet and then deal with their death again. It hurts. She talked about her new chihuahua puppy. I was thinking a while ago about getting a chihuahua. (Long before Rosie passed away.) A nice small dog. Again, I don’t think I want to deal with that again. Unless maybe if I won the lottery and had my own house. (I might get both a dog and cat.) That’s a big maybe, though. Anyways, it looked like a lot of hair was on the floor when she was done. I didn’t think my hair was that long.

My parent made our usual St Patrick’s Day dinner on Sunday. It’s easier to cook like that during the weekend. There were corned beef, potatoes, carrots, and cabbage. They were all boiled together with a little spices. I had the corned beef with a little maple mustard. It was great without it, but it elevated it a little more. It was all great. Shared soda bread for my last snack. Another fave.

This month’s Universal Yums is on Colombia. (Got it on Monday.) I don’t think Treats covered Colombia. It’s pretty new to me that way. Should be interesting to see what emails I’ll get on it from them. So far, there was a recipe for Sancocho Colombiano. Apparently, a huge stew with beef and vegetables. They usually add a sauce on top of it. They might have rice or avocado as sides. Went through the booklet. I can have the 2 recipes in it. I think 1 of them looked really good. Cheese in hot chocolate is apparently a thing. The music playlist wasn’t great. I thought they’d have traditional music. Instead it was pop, rap, and hip-hop. Looks like fun and different snacks this time. There’s one I can’t have. It’s bacon and lime potato chips. My parent said she might have that one.

I’ve tried the cheese rings with cassava powder. They were pretty good, just had a strange aftertaste. Had some of the Chew n Crunch Stix. They weren’t great. Very interesting that it had specks of candy inside. I noticed there was gelatin in it. I don’t know if that’s from pork, beef, fish, or plants. (I can’t have pork products.) The uncertainty scared me and they weren’t good, so I threw the rest out. Had one of the passion fruit flavored lollipops with bubblegum in the center. The candy part was really good. Very flavorful. You could smell it, too. I’m not sure if I’ve had passion fruit before. It looked like it had seeds, but I think they made the candy have bumps and colored them in to make them look like seeds. The gum wasn’t very good. Didn’t last long. It was an experience, though. Today, I had a little bit of the coconut caramel stick candy. It was awful. It also had gelatin. It wasn’t worth having the whole stick. I threw the rest of it out, too. I also had the coffee cake that actually has coffee in it. It was really good. Seemed like it was steamed. It was nice and moist. Had a little strange aftertaste. Not sure what that was. I gave it 3.5 hearts. I gave the coconut caramel sticks 0 hearts. So, today had both the lowest and highest ratings so far. There are lime potato chips from the same brand that did the bacon and lime potato chips. It sounds interesting. I’ve had lime tortilla chips, but not potato chips. There’s also mayo potato chips. To me, that could be good or bad. All depends on how it’s done. There are garlic plantain chips. I’ve tried plantains a couple of times and didn’t like it. Maybe I’ll like it in a different form? There’s a gummy thing. I’ll try a little bit, but it also has gelatin. If it’s good, I might eat more of it. There are lemon cream sandwich cookies, a peanut chocolate bar, and a wafer chocolate bar. Those seem ‘normal’.

Yesterday I had a meatloaf meal from Safeway for dinner. It also had green beans and mashed potatoes. Their meatloaf only has beef, which is great. They use a ketchup-based sauce, which reminds me of what my mom did with her meatloaves. It didn’t have the garlic and herb butter for the green beans/potatoes this time. I like that usually. It still was good. I had a slice of their Biscoff cookie butter cake for my last snack. It’s one of the best cakes they have. Super popular. They didn’t have it for a while. It was the last one. I’m so happy I got to have it. It was amazing! I had Amy’s broccoli cheddar bake for dinner tonight. It’s a frozen meal. One of my faves. I had an oatmeal raisin cookie for dessert. It was pretty tasty. For my last snack, I’ll have cheddar pretzels and either the last of the s’mores chocolate or the beef and cheese sticks. I love the beef and cheese sticks. Another thing I haven’t seen in a while. It might be best to have that then.

I’ve decided to get most of my Passover food from Amazon. They have a good selection. The QFC in Seattle disappointed me last year. They really didn’t have much. They used to be impressive with a huge selection. They actually have a section for it on Amazon. I looked at it last year and it had pretty much everything I needed. Even the jarred charoset and actual choices of cereal. I’ll check it out again soon. The holiday starts the night of April 12th. I have a little while.

I finished my little project of listening through the decades on Spotify. I didn’t find much in the 2010s and 2020s. I added a little over 330 songs to my liked playlist with that. Now I’m listening to my liked playlist on shuffle with their ‘new’ recommendations mixed in. I’ve added quite a bit more that way. I’m still not used to listening to music throughout the day again. It’s another experience. I used to do it all the time, but I stopped it at some point. Probably after my fall 5 years ago and cancer stuff.

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10th of Adar

Rosie, my cat, passed away the week before yesterday during the night. My parent thinks it wasn’t long after we went to bed. She might have had a stroke that morning, and she had at least 2 seizures during the day. I think she had more than just a stroke. The last couple of weeks she seemed to be declining and almost like she tried to prepare for it. I thought she was sleeping in the morning when I had breakfast. (She wasn’t facing me.) She was in the living room. She probably was having a seizure then. She seemed confused/frustrated that she couldn’t get up and move around. She moved a little bit. She kept reaching out to us. We assured her we were there. That night we had her favorite music playing, a light on, and a towel over her since she seemed cold. Tried to have her as comfortable as possible. I stroked her forehead before saying good night. I thought she’d still be with us in the morning. I wasn’t really ready for her to leave us.

We got her close to my birthday (it’s on November 7th), like a day later, in 2010 from the shelter. We were told she was around 3 years old. She had a good long life. She was my baby. I already miss her a lot. At least she’s not suffering.

I posted on most of my socials about it. Most of them seemed to have the reaction I expected. Which was great to see. It was comforting a bit. However, it seemed to explode on Threads. Last time I looked, it had 740 likes, 21 comments, 1 repost, and 2.5K views. I’ve never had such a reaction to a post.

She still had food in her bowl, and suddenly it was gone. Supposedly neither of us threw it out. It just was gone. A little creepy. Maybe she was hungry… A couple of days before that Sunday, she had moved a pillow from the sectional in the living room to near her carrier, on top of her peacock feather. (It might have fallen off, and she could have pushed it to that spot.) It was weird, and I’m not sure why she did it. We left it there for a while. It spooked me occasionally, because it looked like her from the corner of my eye. Sometimes it looked like she was staring at me in her carrier. A little later my parent threw her towel over the carrier and put the pillow away. That helped. Also, it feels like another mourning ritual. Every time I walk in the living room for my indoor walks, it reminds me of it. I feel weird stepping on/near the spot she passed away on.

We lit a yahrzeit candle for her and recited the mourner’s kaddish. She wasn’t human, but felt like we should do something. They have souls, too. She was very loved. I think we did that for most of our pets. I don’t remember doing it for Tasha, but maybe we did.

We got her ashes today. They had her paw print along with it. They didn’t do that for our other pets. I’m not sure how I feel about it. The ashes are in a bigger ‘casket’ looking box. The name plate was separate. It only has her name. They didn’t ask what we wanted on it this time, either. Maybe we could put stuff on it ourselves. We were thinking of ‘The Most Interesting Cat in the World’. Probably have the dates, too. Might be too long, I don’t know. They also have a brochure on grief, and mention a special phone number to talk about the grief of losing a pet specifically. That would be interesting.

I finally called Apria last Wednesday. I kept putting it off because I was nervous. I had to pay for the first month of having the new bed, though. It’s a month today. I wanted to use the benefits card, but they wouldn’t let me. It would have been better if that had worked. At least I was able to pay it. It was only $20.69. I’m also nervous about when I switch to being fully on Medicaid. I don’t know what they’ll do. Maybe Medicaid will pay for the rest of it.

I’m taking gabapentin twice a day right now. One of the things I’ve noticed is I feel happier and like I don’t care/worry about things. I feel a little guilty for feeling happy right now. I’m not noticing much of a change with the pain. I have a hard time going to sleep, but once I am, I’m out cold. (Most of the time.) I don’t wake up like I did before during the night. I think it’s related. I’ll start taking 3 pills this next Friday.

I saw that I got a message from Social Security recently. I was too nervous to read it online. Apparently, the letter from them came in the next day’s mail. It’s about them taking around $96 from what they pay me each month through ssi. They said they’ll start that in April’s paycheck. It’s been a while, and for the last few months it’s been the normal amount. I don’t know why they waited so long to do it. They said I could appeal it. It’s too much for me to deal with. That’s probably what they’d expect from me. They base it on if it’s unfair to you and if it’s a hardship. It is unfair, but not a hardship.

Started a ‘project’ with Spotify. I got the app in order to listen to the Universal Yums playlist for the month. They have a ton of songs with their Turkey or Türkiye playlist. Songs that are traditional and some new stuff, too. Very interesting. Anyways, they post all their playlists on there. After exploring Spotify for a while, I decided to go through music from each decade. I started with what they suggested, which wasn’t very good. I looked more into it, and found All Out decade playlists. They’re much better, accurate, and much longer. I started over with them. They only go back to the 50s on Spotify. I would have started it with earlier decades. Would have been even more interesting. I’ve gotten to the 90s so far. I’m getting a lot for my faves playlist. Should be interesting to see what it’s like when I finish it. Oh, and I got their individual premium. It's not bad. There are no ads this way, and I can listen to how I want to. Like, it doesn't have to be on shuffle. It'll be free for a month.  

I decided to stop going to see a podiatrist just to get my toenails clipped. I decided to try to get pedicures without the nail polish instead. I think my big toenails might be a little difficult, but they’re getting close to looking normal. I can see if they could do them along with the other toenails. Those I think would be easy for them. I’ll go with my parent to one soon. I think it’ll be a lot better for me to get it done there. It was more of a hassle with the podiatrist. They also don’t take Molina or any Medicaid. I’d have to use that since it’s out-of-network. At least when I completely switch over to Medicaid. I think Kaiser Permanente does have someone that does it for you, but it’s very expensive. (From what I’ve heard.) They supposedly do it at your home. I want to see what the people at the nail place will do. It might feel even better. I’ll email my primary care doctor about it. I’ll see what she has to say.

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