I'm tired of people blaming mentally ill people for mass shootings. They immediately think the shooter must be. Then, they suddenly are interested in improving mental health because of it. Mental illness is already incredibly stigmatized. We do need to improve mental health, but it shouldn't be thought of in relation to the shootings. Mentally ill people are a lot less likely to do mass shootings. Mass shootings take meticulous planning, usually have a rationale behind it, and more. Things that many mentally ill people who aren't getting help are less likely to able to do. Much easier for 'sane' people. This aspect scares people. Most times when someone who's mentally ill gets a gun (and isn't in treatment), they're more likely to shoot themselves than anyone else. Sure, there are some dangerous mentally ill people. They're a small percentage, and even they are misunderstood.
I did have a whole chapter devoted to mental illnesses that I have in my memoir, but with all this, I feel compelled to bring them up here. (Obviously not as in depthly or with the stories.) Maybe if someone knows someone, even if it's just online, it might help a tiny bit with fighting the stigma. People might have a fraction of understanding. Maybe mental illnesses should actually be taught in schools to help with this.
I have type 2 Bipolar Disorder. It's different than type 1. Our mania makes us easily irritated, have racing thoughts, feel like we can do a million things at once, etc. Type 1's mania is euphoric, they can hallucinate, be wreckless, etc. Our depression is much lower than type 1's. We're one of the most at risk people for suicide. I was suicidal at 14 up until I was 24. It was the type of suicidal that there wasn't a clear reason behind it. I just had the urge. That's one of the most dangerous. At 24, I found a med, I'm currently still on, that was/is the best for it. My suicidal ideation all but disappeared. Haven't been since. Keeps me balanced and seemingly 'normal', as well. I went through so many meds before that, and at that time I was misdiagnosed with severe depression. The current one I'm on is one of the few that actually helps people with type 2. It doesn't do anything with type 1's. It was the first one I tried after the correct diagnosis. It's also not an antidepressant, but an anticonvulsant. Something that people with epilepsy might take. I found that really interesting. Also, therapy helped quite a bit. I went through several years of it. I probably should go back to it at some point. Hopefully, with someone who's trained to deal with LGBTQ+ people and possibly Jews. That's hard to find. I've had good and bad therapists, and it can be normally hard to find the right one.
I also have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I used to think that was only for people in the military or veterans. Nope anyone can have it. I have it for numerous reasons. I've been stalked (one of them was really violent), attacked by a Rottweiler, sexually abused, sexually assaulted, etc. All this has contributed to it. I was actually scared and hypervigilant around men for a while. I did eventually get better and more at ease around them. I think I still have moments of being slightly tense if a guy is with me. I still have a lot of uneasiness around big dogs. Even if I just hear their barks. I used to feel like someone's always watching me after I managed to get away from that last violent stalker. (I've actually had about 3 or 4 of them.) I'm a lot better about this now, too.
I have agoraphobia. It's literally fear of markets, but really fear of crowds. I can have intense panic attacks when I'm around a lot of people I don't know in a small place. It adds to my anxiety also.
I'm noticing that I also have gender dysphoria. It hasn't been 'diagnosed', though. I think I've mentioned it before on here. I might not actually have agoraphobia, and this might be it instead. As well as my anxiety. Who knows, maybe parts of my type 2 Bipolar Disorder might have actually been dysphoria, too. More reasons to find a therapist that deals with trans stuff. Plus, I've had internalized arophobia and acephobia most of my life, and might need to talk to one about that. I'd only feel comfortable with an LGBTQ+ trained therapist with this, too. Again, hard to find in the area.
So, I have all this in addition to colitis, and a few other more minor chronic physical illnesses. People only take the physical stuff more seriously. Although, since colitis is considered an 'invisible disease', people have a hard time with it. They don't understand that it's chronic, either.
It snowed off and on since Wednesday night. We've actually been 20-30 degrees cooler than normal. That's a lot. The forecast doesn't have any change from that in the next several days. It's like we're having winter late.
Last Wednesday night, there was a local trans meeting. There were more people than usual, which was good. Some were also enby, and that was a nice plus. I brought up something close to the end. It was about when to correct people. Dad and I were asked at a local shop if we were ladies (paraphrasing a bit). I mentioned this on here before. Should I have corrected him and told the truth? Did I have time to explain it to him? Should I explain it? What about when waitresses say: "hello ladies"? I want to, but unsure if I want to educate them. I'm not a lady or a guy. Please don't refer to me in this way. I still use she/her, but am leaning towards they/them. If I were to say she/her to them, they'd use female-gendered language which I don't want. It's messed up to me. Also, doesn't help that I still say I'm a daughter. None of the neutral terms for someone's adult child sound great, though. There's spawn, which sounds like I'm joking. There's child, but it sounds like I'm a kid. I don't know, maybe I should look around more.
I'm about 125 pages altogether for writing those books. That's a lot. Finished the 'Jewish Holidays' section in the cookbook, and am about a quarter of the way through the dessert one. I'm thinking that I'll end up finishing this before Alliance 3. At least, the writing part. I didn't expect to be breezing so quickly through the cookbook. I'm writing out about 8 recipes each time. So many!
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